Everyone Can’t Be Beautiful…And That’s Ok!!!

While reorganizing a couple of my closets a few weeks ago, I came across a few folders saved from my time as an educator. After going through the usual reminisces (ie: “Wow. David Jones. I wonder if he ever graduated college?”) and projections (ie: “Wow. Sasha Johnson. I’m sure she’s one of the top strippers hairdressers in Atlanta now.”) that occur when seeing names you haven’t seen in a while, I found the evaluations of a couple dozen or so students who were assigned to complete a semester long project.

Although these evaluations were based on their work on the project, they were specifically tailored to each student, providing a panoramic assessment of all of their work so far that year. But, although they were supposed to be unique to each student’s particular characteristics, I noticed the same word popping up in every single one of the evaluations: Smart

One was “…hard-working, smart, and funny.” Another was “…laidback, smart, but occasionally disinterested.” One was even “…too smart to just be a distraction.” There was a variation of smart in each of the 25 or so evaluations I read. Thing is, at least 10 (and as many as 15) of those evaluations were lies. I did not have a classroom full of smart kids. Some were decidedly unsmart. A couple were f*cking idiots.

If you take 25 random high school students, some of them are going to be smart, some of them are going to be average, and some are going to be below average. That’s just the way the world works, and in my own rush to assign above average intelligence to each student, I lied. It wasn’t an intentional lie, but it was a lie nonetheless.

And, to be clear, just because a student doesn’t have above-average intelligence doesn’t mean that I needed to call them stupid or dumb. There are thousands of other positive adjectives that can be used—adjectives that would do a better job of truly describing a student than just falling back on “smart”—and it’s the job of a teacher/evaluator to find and incorporate them. But, in my haste to make everyone feel good, I failed them.

I thought of this yesterday while reading an online excerpt of a magazine profile on a notable female celebrity. This woman is many very positive things—extremely smart, talented, witty, accomplished, graceful, engaging, noble, athletic, altruistic, rich, etc—but “beautiful” is not one of them. I will not say who this person was, but trust me when I tell you that hers wouldn’t be the 1st, 2nd, or 122nd name thought of when thinking of beautiful celebrities. Yet, when the author of the piece was describing her, “beautiful” was stuck in there, so obviously perfunctory and so obviously wrong that I re-read the paragraph to make sure they were still talking about the same person.

I realize that beauty, like intelligence—shit, like everything-–is relative. I also realize that exactly what constitutes beauty varies from person to person. (Well, varies somewhat.) But, while reasonable people will agree that most people aren’t smart or tall or athletic—because, well, the definitions of tall, smart, and athletic are inherently exclusionary—some of these same reasonable people throw reason out the window when beauty is in the picture.

And, when you allow a self-conscious political correctness to stretch the definition of a superlative adjective to include everyone, three things occur.

1. It makes the word meaningless

Basically, if everyone is beautiful, no one is beautiful.

2. It sets people up for unnecessary scrutiny

If I’m setting a homegirl up with one of my boys, and I describe him as “tall” even though he  is 5’9”—which is technically taller than the average American male—I’ve basically set her up to be disappointed, made myself seem like a liar, and set him up for a shitload of unnecessary judgment.

It’s not that I should have just called him short. If I would have focused on his other positive qualities, his height probably wouldn’t have been an issue. But, by stretching the truth, I’d  likely end up creating a situation where he’s facing an uphill battle because she’s spending the first 15 minutes of the date thinking to herself “I know this n*gga Champ didn’t have the nerve to call this dude tall! WTF?”

And, most importantly…

3. It does the exact opposite of what it’s supposed to do

I realize that this push to make everyone beautiful exists so that the Halle Berrys of the world—women who are almost impossibly gorgeous—aren’t the only ones made to feel pretty, appreciated, attractive, and, most importantly, valuable. And, while I do think beautiful is overused, there are two sets of people who can never use that word too much when describing the women they care about: fathers and significant others. Daughters should always be made to feel beautiful by their dads, and women have no business being in relationships with men who don’t make them feel like they’re uniquely beautiful.

But, while the intent is noble, bending over backwards to call every woman beautiful does nothing but reinforce the idea that beauty is the only trait a woman can possibly possess that matters. It doesn’t matter if she’s a genius, legitimately brilliant, outrageously witty, or impossibly accomplished. She can cure cancer, swim across the Pacific, ghostproduce the rest of “Detox” for Dr. Dre, and perform a successful exorcism on Katt Williams, but beautiful still has to somehow find its way into any description of her.

I know, I know, I know, I know. There’s a disproportionate premium on a woman’s beauty/physical attraction (or lack thereof), and it’s unfair to suggest that women stop doing something that’s only done because of male influence. This may be true, but continually testing the elasticity of the definition of beautiful to fit everyone isn’t the way to change that. It worsens it actually, reemphasizing the idea that making the covers of Time, People, Black Enterprise, Wired, Newsweek, The New Yorker, and Rolling Stone doesn’t matter if you’re not also on the cover of Vogue. 

—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

  • http://www.twitter.com/Bmorebmw Tentpole

    Wasn’t makeup and cosmetic surgery suppose fix that issue.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

      *shots fired*

    • That Ugly Kid

      Yes. Originally. But nowadays it is used to exacerbate the ugly, instead of correcting it. Exhibit A:

      http://www.hiphopstan.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Pebbelz-Da-Model-2.jpg

      • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

        Or even to make a person with unique appearance suddenly look like a million other people. I’ve seen women do that with their nose. They have a unique nose that fits them and they get surgery and come out with the most generic nose ever.

        • Breezy

          Nene Leaks

        • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

          LOL, noses are so personal and if you don’t like your nose, there’s very little you can do.

          • Iceprincess2

            *sings melody* “You can buy your hair if it don’t groooow, you can fix ya nose if ya say so. You can buy all the makeup that MAC can make. But if, you can’t look inside youuu, & find out ‘who am I to, be in a position to make me feel so, damn un pretty?’”

      • Asiyah

        TUK is right. It’s like plastic surgery. It was supposed to make you more attractive but now people are looking worse. Yuck.

        • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

          body dysmorphic disorder illustrates the discrepancy between the mind and reality like nothing else. it is custom made for voyeurs to behold ~*~

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        i go back and forth with my feelings about pebblez. and by “back and forth” i mean…nevermind

        • miss t-lee

          *cackles*

      • mena

        Ok. I understand that some women have donks but I have never seen these ridiculous helium filled donks in real life. Do they really exist or are they just for the girls in the videos?

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

          I know, right. I never see them either. Lol

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

      Pewn Penn. Shots.

    • Rewind

      By fix, do you mean take a piss on it?

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

        *R. Kelly snicker*

      • Breezy

        Annnnddddd so it begins today…TO THE CORNER REWIND!

        • Rewind

          *sings to the top of my lungs*

          FEEEEELING ON YOUR BOOOTAY, YES I AM!

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      When done well, it usually does.

    • http://betroit.wordpress.com Betroit
  • Cheech

    I think the word I throw out is hot…beautiful is for special occasions lol

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

      …And that special occasion would be…

      • Sweet GA Brown

        Maybe when describing someone to include their inward and outward appearance…

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

          It’s a rarity when a person has both qualities, so he may have a point there…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      yeah, you cant just go callin chicks beautiful. you have to use the “hot/bangin/pretty” troika in most convos. you don’t get to beautiful unless i got personal dibs on you, unless its actually true, in which case then you move towards the “gorgeous/beautiful/oooooooooooohwee” adjectives.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        yeah, you can’t just be pulling that sh*t out all recklessly. basically, the word “beautiful” is exactly like trump cards and penises.

        • Breezy

          da wut?!?! trump cards and penises!!! LMBO!

        • SweetSass

          HA!

  • http://Www.twitter.com/mr2ed Trenton Famous

    Oprah

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

      Oprah’s isn’t athletic. You have seen her, haven’t you” LMAO!

    • Sweet GA Brown

      You got to be sh!ttin me.

    • Camilla

      I first thought Oprah too, but than the word “athletic” quickly eliminated her from my list.

  • iamnotakata

    Yeah I don’t particularly take the word “beautiful” serious anymore when men call me beautiful. I feel like they are saying it just to say but don’t sincerely mean it. I also agree that the word is used in excess and really out of context. I do believe Halle Berry is pretty, I don’t think she is beautiful.

    • msdebbs

      Yeah I get this a lot and you can throw gorgeous in there too.

    • http://lifeloveandsuch.wordpress.com CBRADIO

      Co-sign!

    • That Ugly Kid

      Really? That’s a shame. Because I think you’re pulchritudinous.

    • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

      I totally agree about Halle. But, she was beautiful during her Boomerang days. Then she had plastic surgery and got really skinny.

      • Rewind

        Her beauty might be left up to preference, but it can’t be denied that she’s definitely in a league of her own.

        For better or worse.

        And I do mean worse. #supercrazylady

      • mena

        I think she looks better now. She looked regular in Boomerang.

        • demondog06

          blasphemer!

          halle in boomerang set the standard. of course she’s overrated now. especially without make up

          • mena

            She looked REAL regular in that movie. Then again, I’m a girl. Now, when she was in Die Another Day, she looked gorgeous.

            She has gotten better looking with age to me and i will admit that she is in a league of her own. I think women that age well are the beautiful ones. The Angela Bassetts, Gabrielle Unions, Nia Longs, and Halle Berrys to name a few.

            • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

              angela bassett’s a strange one. she’s actually better looking at 50 than she was at 30.

              • Asiyah

                I agree!

          • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

            +1 On Halle looking better in her Boomerang days. Yes lawd! Today she looks awfully close to just “regular” to me. She seemed a lil blacker back then too. Perhaps there’s a correlation there in my perception of her…it’s not intentional though.

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

      I need a new word….regular ninjas done ran “beautiful” “gorgeous” and “sweetheart” into the ground. *grabs thesaurus*

      • Breezy

        How about lovely?

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      I’m not blown away by Halle but I think she falls into the beautiful category, especially because she is aging well.

      • mena

        Agreed. Hate all you want, she looks incredible.

        • http://Twitter.com/YvesSaintYoung O State of Mind

          90s Halle Berry can get all my Vitamin D

    • http://www.BlackLatinaFabulous.wordpress.com Maris

      I never take any complement seriously from a man I do not know, unless they actually take the time to be specific, ie. “That’s a beautiful dress you have on/ you have beautiful eyes”, etc.
      Now, from a person that has known me for a bit or mid coitus? Maannn….aww.

  • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

    This post was beautiful.

    • Pseudonym

      That’s b/c the writer is really smart.

      • Yonnie

        LOL, Well played. Both of you.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

      Not as beautiful as you, Cheekie *pinches cheeks*

      • That Ugly Kid

        Hey now! Don’t go pinching dem cheeks! Only I can pinch those. Because I got the technique down, you see.

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

          Damn!

          *walks away*

        • Breezy

          TUK: You have the techniques according to who?!?!?

          • Rewind

            TUK can pinch cheeks like he can dribble a ball. He claims it’s a skill you can only have by being from the Chi.

      • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        *looks at this entire thread*

        … oh?

        *grin*

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      it was, wasn’t it.

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

    “I thought of this yesterday while reading an online excerpt of a magazine profile on a notable female celebrity. This woman is many very positive things—extremely smart, talented, witty, accomplished, graceful, engaging, noble, athletic, altruistic, rich, etc—but “beautiful” is not one of them. I will not say who this person was, but trust me when I tell you that hers wouldn’t be the 1st, 2nd, or 122nd name thought of when thinking of beautiful celebrities. Yet, when the author of the piece was describing her, “beautiful” was stuck in there, so obviously perfunctory and so obviously wrong that I re-read the paragraph to make sure they were still talking about the same person.”

    *shots fired!!!!*

    Although Champ won’t name any names, anyone have a clue on his blind item?

    *starts mess all up in this post*

    • Iceprincess2

      Venus Williams?

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

        She looks like me with boobs, LMAO!!!!

        • Iceprincess2

          BWAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!

          • msdebbs

            lol….she’s not ugly she just has strong features….

            • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

              In the immortal words of Miss Swan…

              She looka like a man!!!

              • Breezy

                ROTFLMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!

                The love Ms. Swannnnnnnn!!!

        • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

          Seeing Venus Williams up close and personal, she looks WAY less manly in person than in her pics. Not baddest chick on the block pretty, but more like if I saw her in the mall, I’d holla. Serena though….

          • msdebbs

            Was this pre or post her new nose??? While I’m not a big fan of plastic surgery I think her cutting that nose down really helped soften her strongwomanmanly features.

            • Sweet GA Brown

              Whoa, I didnt know she had a nose job. You sure she didnt just use that nose conturing method?

            • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

              This was a few months ago I saw her, so I’d assume post-nose job. Even still, I really didn’t notice much of a difference.)

            • niksmit

              What is this about a new nose? I need a link. The first page of my search turned up nothing.

              Serena was also rumored to have gotten a nose job once upon a time, but she had just discovered makeup contouring . . .

              • Breezy

                “but she had just discovered makeup contouring . .”

                ROTFLMBO!!!!!!!

      • http://twitter.com/kjnetic Sith King Jordan aka Bruce Lil’ Wayne bka 2 Fitted Hatz

        actually..i’ll go with this guess as well.

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

          I think Venus Williams might be a good person, but looks wise, she’s like a stones’ throw from Esther Phillips.

          • Lulu

            I wondered who would start the thread on who this article was referring to. My money is on Michelle Obama.love her but I don’t think she’s beautiful

            • Sweet GA Brown

              …but she does have a beautiful image…

            • Iceprincess2

              Omg yall trippin, Michelle oba is really pretty!

            • Iceprincess2

              Omg yo trippin, Michelle oba is really pretty!

              • heyheynow

                Michelle is not pretty…I think black women & men mix in the fact that she has it going on, athletic, and smart and all those mixed puts off the image that she is beautiful..she is attractive but alot of people are attracted to real…people think she’s real but if you really look at her pretty is not one of her attributes but she is a beautiful person

                • Rewind

                  I’ll roll with those punches….she’s not the definitno of beauty but something about her does embody it anyway

                  • demondog06

                    her eyebrows terrify me…she does have a low key phatty

                    • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

                      Yeah, I don’t think she’s pretty either, but I never say it to people out of respect. But dat @ss doe??? HELLO! Reppin hard for the hometeam in that department :)

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      SJP

      • Breezy

        LEAVE SJP ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! May a pox be on you and your household WIP…:)

        • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

          I love me some SJP. She wears an outfit like no one else but the truth is the truth. I think she fits that description.

          • Asiyah

            Word. SJP is sooo not attractive.

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

        Is it just me or does Sarah Jessica Parker look like a collie? LMAO!!!

        • Breezy

          Ihatechu

          Go to the corner with Rewind, TUK and Adonis!

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

            *WOOF WOOF*

        • kid video

          SJP should win the horse(face) award.

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

            She should, but Wendy Williams is currently holding that position…

            • kid video

              So ture…

              But like i mentioned before in post…id still get her a workout,(maybe its tha [fake]tits or the shit talking persona)and i bet shes a BEAST but i wouldnt care to deal with her divadom.

              • kid video

                *Breaveheart voice*
                Freeeedoooommmmm!

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “Is it just me or does Sarah Jessica Parker look like a collie? LMAO!!!”

          she does kind of look ruffled in the face area sometimes. i think that’s just due to all the coke she snorts

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

            Hey…you said it, not me *shots fired*

          • Camilla

            Don’t do that to my girl SJP :(…..she is just “different” looking…..but at least she has styles for days and what seems to be a good personality!! lol

            • Camilla

              *style*

        • http://twitter.com/kjnetic sith king jordan

          dont’ you dare disrespect collies like that…no snacks for you in the timeout corner.

          hmmph.

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

            *side eyes Sith*

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        she has man hands.

        • Asiyah

          SEINFELD! <3

    • Asiyah

      LOL @ blind item it’s like I’m reading Bossip or Celebitchy haha

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

        I’m saying though- no names were named…

  • Iceprincess2

    Everything in society is so PC now, and it’s turned us into a bunch of wusses if u ask me. Everybody has to be “beautiful” or “smart” or whatever, just like champ said. We need to keep it real with our children; it’s a vital part of building character. No, everyone does NOT get a T-ball trophy, only the winning team. No, you do NOT go on to the next grade with your classmates if you get failing grades. If you’re unattractive, then shoooot U-G-L-Y, you ain’t got no alibi you ugly!!!

    • msdebbs

      Agreed! There are a lot of ugly folks out here who know they’re ugly and don’t care… exhibit a rick ross & his man boobs.

      • Juiciest Mango

        I live for RICK ROSS and his boobage. If he looses THAT, I’m done….that’s beautiful to me. I’m waiting for the day, Victoria Secret, will sign him on as part of their model line up.

        • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

          Lol. Rick Ross, AM?! Stop it!

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

          And stop by the old place, AM, when you get a chance. I’m back! :-)

          • Juiciest Mango

            Hiya!

            Most def!! :)

    • http://twitter.com/kjnetic Sith King Jordan aka Bruce Lil’ Wayne bka 2 Fitted Hatz

      + one hundred thousand trillion

    • Tx10inch

      I agree IP. I’ma start channeling my inner Color Purple…..

      “She black as tar, nappy-headed, got legs like baseball bats, and I hear she got that nasty women’s disease.” — Mista

      • Sweet GA Brown

        -Mista’s Pa

      • Breezy

        *does Color Purple patty cake scene with Tx10inch*

        • Tx10inch

          @Breezy

          I don’t patty cake. I pat cakes.

          • Breezy

            You nasty!!!!

          • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

            LOL

    • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

      I agree about the kids. I hate when people tell kids that they can be whatever they want to be. No, you cannot be whatever you want. You can be what you can be. Kids and adults too need to be able to make honest assessments of their skills, talents, etc., and how hard they are willing to work. Then they can figure out what they can be.

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

        You know that will never happen. Most parents these days are about as great at parenting as Tupac is at rapping.

        • Lulu

          *shots fired

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

            All damn day!!!!

            • heyheynow

              exactly…people always talking about now little black boys can be just like barack obama..um barack is not from the hood clearly but I not saying if you’re from the hood you can’t be anything but if you’re gang banging, cussing, dropping out of school sorry hunny you probably can’t be anything you want to be but you can do better

              • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

                LULZ!

        • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

          I think you’re giving parents too much credit. At least Tupac could put together a good song now and again.

          • http://twitter.com/kjnetic Sith King Jordan aka Bruce Lil’ Wayne bka 2 Fitted Hatz

            ” At least Tupac could put together a good song now and again.”

            A one-hot-song-every-10-year average?

            #Ethered
            #December4th (late)

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

            Good song? Maybe. Good albums? Not so much…

            • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

              Point being that Tupac has accomplished way more as a rapper than some of these lames as parents. It makes me wonder how my daughter is going to deal with the fools I see being brought up. She has no chance!

              • Kema

                Well Todd… I have two boys that are growing into handsome respectful responsible young men. Lets talk dowry.

        • Iceprincess2

          Silence! I will CUT anybody who’s talking greasy about the G.O.A.T. PA, this is your first & final warning…

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

            Remember this if you remember nothing else:
            The greatest of all time in hip hop will always be Rakim.

            • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

              CHURCH!

            • Rewind

              18th Letter FOR LIFE!

          • Tx10inch

            Silence! I will CUT anybody who’s talking greasy about the G.O.A.T. PA, this is your first & final warning…

            If Pac is tha GOAT, then Jay Z is tha C.O.A.T. (Camel of all time)

            • Breezy

              You are wrong on so many levels…but I thought LL was the G.O.A.T doe?!?!?! No?!?!?

              • Tx10inch

                VERY debateable!

              • demondog06

                LL had 1 good album and that was B.A.D

                • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

                  “Mama Said Knock You Out”?
                  “Mr. Smith”?
                  “14 Shots To The Dome”?

                  • demondog06

                    ok a couple of songs…but the vast body of his work = doo doo

          • demondog06

            REAL TALK!
            while not the greatest rapper by any stretch…me against the world got me through some dark dark times…..

            but i suppose lil wayne’s lyric stealing, skinny jean saggin self is the epitome of rapdom now

            PA me’s and you’s need to have a sit down

            • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

              I know you how much you love Pac, but I just don’t feel him like that and I don’t see what everyone else sees in him.

            • DQ

              All Eyez on Me and Me Against The World were both good albums to let me tell it. All Eyez was a ground breaker in fact (if for nothing else being a Double CD that actually had bangers on both CDs)

              • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

                I got put on to Rakim later on after the fact based on a hip hop discussion on some internet forum (and based on Andre 3K saying that that’s who made him to decide to start rapping) and even decades later I recognized the greatness from listening, but context had something to do with that (apparently he was the first to do the internal rhyming and complex rhyme patterns and I value that a lot). Pac will always be my G.O.A.T. when I take everything into account though. Especially content (ie subject matter), delivery and effectiveness at getting his point across to a MEGA-sized audience. He said so much with so few words and in such a simple but profound way. I’m convinced it was more than charisma and delivery too. (clearly PA isn’t though lol)

        • Camilla

          I thought I was the only one who didn’t “appreciate” Tupac… I usually keep this to myself since some people get highly offended when you anything negative about Tupac…..but since you started it… TUPAC AIN’T SHIT!!! Ok, I’m done… :)

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

            *shots fired!!!!*

      • Yonnie

        Well my parents told me that I could be whatever I wanted to be and I love them for it. I will tell my children the same thing. The point of telling a CHILD that they can be anything they want to be is to not put any limitations on their dreams. What if Venus & Serena’s daddy had said, “You’re poor & Black, so realistically, you will probably never make it to Wimbeldon.” No! Do you know that there is a direct relationship b/w the expectations we place on children and the level of their achievement? Nobody is saying to tell an overweight 30 y/o that they can be the next Gabby Douglas. But the babies? I pray you don’t limit their future w/ your words & low expectations.

        • DQ

          I am DQ and I approve this message

      • Asiyah

        I remember when I was in HS I had the first guy I ever liked reject me because of my looks. I was crying and some girl in my class came up to me and said that one day I will become a beautiful swan and he will regret it.

        Still waiting…

        …AAAAAND that’s why you don’t tell kids they can be whatever they want to be. I’m neither successful nor beautiful lol

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “I hate when people tell kids that they can be whatever they want to be. No, you cannot be whatever you want. You can be what you can be.”

        this made me laugh aloud

    • Rewind

      I aint gonna front…you got a point.

      HOWEVER….there’s only but so many times you can be reminded that you’re not pretty and then you either believe…or say fawk it, I’ll be the shyte anyway. Take the latter and all of a sudden all the things denied to you for being ugly are suddenly yours.

      Rick Ross looks like a sperm whale with tattoos and even if it is just his money right now, he’d still get ass if he had the same attitude as a neighborhood dope boy.

    • Asiyah

      I have no idea in what way society has turned so PC. I am still told about my questionable looks. Where y’all living at?

      • Juiciest Mango

        girl, I don’t get it at all. I saw a similar point you made downthread, but your looks are sooooo NOT questionable. I’m NOT saying this to be nice, just obviousness to me. Again, this reiterates my earlier point, beauty is SOOOOOOO subjective. Oh well, whatevs, their loss.

        • Asiyah

          maybe I’ve just encountered way too many ugly folks who wanna lump me into that category! LOL

          I ain’t hideous!

          • Juiciest Mango

            LMAOOOOOO!!!!!

            You on a roll today mama!! YES, I concur!! :)

          • Kema

            @Asiyah… I wonder about people telling you that your looks are ‘questionable’. I dont think most people go around telling unattractive people that they are not attractive. However, I have seen people say negative things to attractive peole for whatever reason.

            • Asiyah

              why people gotta be mean for?

              #notfeelingdat

            • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

              “I wonder about people telling you that your looks are ‘questionable’. I dont think most people go around telling unattractive people that they are not attractive.”

              +1 They must have some type of inferiority complex to you in some other area, otherwise they’d keep it to themselves.

              • Kema

                Some people feel big by making others feel low. Especially if they know it affects you.

    • Around the Way Girl

      I am 100% with you on this point. PC = BS.

  • ron

    Yeah, the word is way overused. I don’t even think it should be used to describe looks. There are some women who are truly “fine” but real beauty is intangible. Is Halle Berry beautiful? She is fine but ask one of her ex’s if she’s beautiful. Genuine love is beautiful, and maybe the only truly beautiful thing. Read the Bible’s description of love and if you can find someone to give that to you you will have seen a beautiful thing.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

      “Is Halle Berry beautiful? She is fine but ask one of her ex’s if she’s beautiful.”

      This is funny as hell- especially in light of recent events!
      (I know…too soon…)

      • Breezy

        Nah this one is not to soon. I saw that ninja face on ENews and was like dannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggg…Oliver is a baddddddddddddddddddd man….LMBO

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

          This dude is a French Mexican- you just know he was going to kick somebody’s ass, LMAO!!!

        • Asiyah

          For real. They turned an attractive man into the purple character from Ronald McDonald’s house.

          • Breezy

            BOL!

            • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

              I was gonna ignore this, but…who/what the hell r yall talkin about?

              • Breezy
                • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

                  Lol, I’m bout to send you to the corner guh! What does Grimace have to do with anything? Smh, ninjas always tryna keep me in the dark about somethin

                  • Asiyah

                    Breezy owns that corner. Ain’t nobody sending her there!

              • Asiyah

                you’re welcome!

              • http://quietstormbeauty.com Alia

                Halle’s man Olivier beat up her ex. Had him looking all kinds of to’ up.

          • MissRae

            My reaction to that was the same as this scene from Friday

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QU_Npoz4AAk

    • Latonya

      “There are some women who are truly “fine” but real beauty is intangible.”
      Kenya Moore comes to mind, she was so pretty, but after watching Housewives of ATL she not as pretty I thought she was. Crazy as hell and depressed.

      • Ron

        Stacey Dash comes to mind, fine…yes but I wonder if the people who really know her would call her beautiful?

      • MissRae

        Yes, I was thinking the same thing. Someone on twitter was talking about how Kenya Moore looks better than Nia Long. I disagree. Nia Long> Kenya Moore.

        • Breezy

          Whoever said that must be cray! Nia Long to me is effortless beauty…I have no words for Kenya…

          • Juiciest Mango

            Nia Long is DIVINE, she is more than beautiful. WA! That chick is blazing HOT HOT HOT!

            • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

              They’re both very attractive. Kenya’s body is better imo, but Nia’s face is prettier. I’d gladly take either, except Nia Long definitely lost some respect from me when she compared fur to slavery. If I fantasize about her at this point, her mouth is shut smh

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

          It’s true, but Kenya has a better body and she’s taller- and she was Miss America once. That’s three things she has on Nia Long, LOL!

          • MissRae

            You mean Miss U.S.A . She will be quick to correct you, lol

            • Breezy

              ikr! Portia and the other 11 people who actually care about her title better get it together.

    • chameleonic

      real beauty is intangible, word. i tend to call some men beautiful just based on a presence they have or a something they exude. when it becomes concrete its usually attributes of who they are that made me deem them beautiful. when it comes to women its pretty much the same but its also at times something about their look. a soft suppleness.

  • Juiciest Mango

    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I don’t care that who I find beautiful is ugly to you. [not you Champ, just folks in general]

    This post brings to mind, TQ Fuego’s MUST read blogpost about being brutally honest I do not advocate for PC’ness, neither do I advocate for assholishness, in the name of keeping it real, and telling it as is. Beauty is a VERY sensitive topic, especially as it relates to women. If she is not your cup of your tea, ain’t no need to clown/comment/point out the obvious her, or loudly assert your thoughts. Not everything is worth giving an opinion on….keep it moving.

    • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

      Thanks for the shoutout Mami. That post really did get a lot of convo going because there’s so much to say about it. Shoutout to all the VSBs and VSSs that participated (it’ll be the latest post until 9AM today).

      As far as what you said about this post though, beauty is a very sensitive topic so it’s not one to be brutally honest about. Maybe in the privacy of your immediate circle but NEVER in front of the person you’re talking about (unless it’s in retaliation to a personal insult aimed at you i guess).

      I’m with u though, because I never felt the need to bash or assert my opinion that a chick was unattractive/ugly though. When asked I try to be respectful with my wordingeven when she’s not present (or I just say “nah I don’t think she is”), but sometimes just for the sake of humor…ya kno…it’s all in good fun though. The good news is that it’s all so subjective that my opinion doesn’t even matter anyway or it shouldn’t matter to anybody but me and the people who are or would like to be close to me…

    • Asiyah

      “If she is not your cup of your tea, ain’t no need to clown/comment/point out the obvious her, or loudly assert your thoughts. Not everything is worth giving an opinion on….keep it moving.”

      +1

    • DQ

      ” If she is not your cup of your tea, ain’t no need to clown/comment/point out the obvious her, or loudly assert your thoughts. Not everything is worth giving an opinion on….keep it moving.”

      I actually think this could be/should be a unisex concept. Going out of your way to point out how someone isn’t what you desire seems needlessly cruel and hurtful. I don’t see the motivation in wanting to be either of these things… but I also see that it might be difficult to avoid participation. Folks are sensitive to what they perceive to be their shortcomings… Some men like long hair, should they not express that to make those with short hair less self conscious? Some women like tall men, should they keep that to themselves so as to not make shorter men feel less self conscious?

      Very few of us hit the genetic lottery, most of us win the “scratch offs” version of DNA, we all get a little something but never really the jackpot. There is always something about us physically that we wish we could change, something about us that is not the preference of others. But at what point does it become our responsibility to love ourselves enough to be ok with our perceived imperfections, and ok with the fact that we aren’t going to appeal to everyone? (Rhetorical question)

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “If she is not your cup of your tea, ain’t no need to clown/comment/point out the obvious her, or loudly assert your thoughts. Not everything is worth giving an opinion on….keep it moving.”

      i agree in that there’s no need to be going around telling people they aint beautiful. that’s just cold and shit. i just think certain words lose their meaning and become self-defeating when they’re used too much

      • Asiyah

        I agree. Like “I love you.” Doesn’t mean much these days. Overly used and yet hardly felt.

        • Juiciest Mango

          +a milli!!

          African dudes, are NOTORIOUS for “I love you”, after the first date. Jesus help ma pippoz!

    • SweetSass

      YESSSSSSSS ONE THOUSAND TIMES!!! PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW WHEN TO KEEP THEIR MOUTHS SHUT!!!

      Especially on things that are so subjective and so touchy.

      Judge not, lest ye be judged.

  • http://lifeloveandsuch.wordpress.com CBRADIO

    While I totally understand (and agree) with The Champ’s point here, I must throw out there the usage of the word “beautiful” in its non-physical sense. You know… that “inner beauty” people like to talk about when they can’t talk about your physical beauty (because it’s lacking)! Perhaps that’s the beauty the author of the article referenced in regard to the celebrity. :)

    I do also agree with iamnotakata… I do find that there are a lot of men that will throw that word around without always being genuine. Every woman they see walking down the street whose number they want to attain is “beautiful” if saying so can get them to stop in their tracks…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      Perhaps that’s the beauty the author of the article referenced in regard to the celebrity.

      it wasn’t, but i see your point

      • http://lifeloveandsuch.wordpress.com cbradio82

        LOL! Hey, I tried!

      • http://lifeloveandsuch.wordpress.com cbradio82

        LOL! Hey, I tried!