It’s Friday.
One of my favorite movies of all time is Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Everybody’s had a person in their life that they wish could have be erased from memory. This movie depicted this concept and theory flawlessly to me.
Not to mention, you get Kirsten Dunst in her undies for a good segment of the movie. Not that I find her particularly attractive, but whatever. Skin is skin. Unless said skin belongs to Grace Jones or Angela Lansbury, in which case, you can have it.
Carl Thomas also felt this way and did his best impression of a person who could sing in his first single, “I Wish I Never Met Her”. And despite the fact that Carl Thomas sounds like ass vocally, the sentiments are quite apropos. Been there done that. Wish I never did what I done done. Like Shawty Lo, except spelled “dun dun”.
Thing is, I have maybe one person that I wished I’d never met. Hell, I’m pretty sure I told her at some point. But there was no crying for her Argentina. Truth is, though I wished I’d never met her, in some way, she helped to contribute to the sexxy beast that I am today. So perhaps wishing I never met somebody is a bit extreme.
However…there are definitely SITUATIONS that in retrospect I wish I would have changed. Hell, if I had my current wisdom I wouldn’t have made many of the mistakes I made early on. Like the time I knew my ex had cheated on me but I chose to “not believe it”. If I had the chance to go back, I’d have just dropped her ass that day I figured it out instead of hanging around for more months of insane boredom and inexperienced domegame. Sh*t, I could have had a V8. Because of that chick I ended up passing up a chance to have my way with Beyonce before she met Jay. And that’s not true at all, however it made for a better story than it started out as.
For the hell of it: Butteryfly Effect.
So, good people of VSB.com in the Kingdom of Smartness, what would you do differently? Any blemishes from the past that you’d like to Proactiv away or decisions that probably just weren’t so hot that your current wisdom wouldn’t let happen even if Mel Gibson was directing your life’s story?
-VSB P
After reading this, one person pops into mind. Its like you know its pointless, you know its all a waste of time, but you just hope its gonna rebound like a bad stock or the dead fish I had when I was 10 thinking “its just sleeping”.
But on the same note, she helped to learn what to avoid. I shed no tears for her (please … me cry!) … but I did call in sick to work one day. And that day … I will never get back.
Anyways, to end on a introspective note … she taught me something. And ever since her … I have made better choices, and wouldn’t have been able to without her. I would say thank you, but … f*ck that hoe!
“I would say thank you, but … f*ck that hoe!”
Another T-Shirt?
yes
Your right … but I’m gonna keep the rights to this one. Claiming it now!
It’s a good one to claim. Keep bangin’.
“I would say thank you, but … f*ck that hoe!”
Priceless…lol.
I think “F*ck that B*tch” might work out better … but that b* word can open all kinds of untold troubles (hence the reason for the “self censoring” in the original comment).
i would wear this on a t-shirt SBM. not around my dad though.
i’m feeling ur claim SBM fo sho. ayo, if i got anything out here anybody wanna use for commercial purposes…….
i’m just saying you’d rather play wit me than against me. hear me now believe me later.
I want to apply for the position, Director of T-Shirt Operations. When are you going to advertise the job announcement?
@ wise~can I be your assistant?
you sure can! and I promise not to make you walk across the George Washington bridge for cheesecake or anything either
I just enjoy wielding other people’s power. I’m so passive aggressive…lol!
“I want to apply for the position, Director of T-Shirt Operations. When are you going to advertise the job announcement?”
its on craigslist already
I definitely have a few people i wish I had never met at all, and a few times i wish I just woulda let my curiosity ride. I just think I would have been happier being naive.
Yes, I definitely have one person in mind that I wish I NEVER met and wasted a year on.
But then I think about it and I realized that he helped me discover what to avoid so in a way, I guess it is a good thing that I met that country a** bamma.
I do wish I had handled the situation differently but you know hindsight is always 20/20.
O0O…Regrets rear their ugly heads…once again.
There is one man i kinda wish i never met..but then again if i didnt i wouldnt have the most special thing in my life.
So i guess you cant go back and change things without affecting something else.
But the good thing is..you learn from your mistakes and know what NOT to do next time..
Life is a learning process..we all go thru it.
“But the good thing is..you learn from your mistakes and know what NOT to do next time.”
The smart ones learn. Then there is the group of people that keep doing the same thing over and over hoping to get a different experience/result.
the definition of insanity!
I hate to be one of “those guys” but everyone I’ve encountered has taught me about myself in good and bad ways….I’ve learned from them and though my experiences haven’t always been good and some chicks are cold hearted wenches from the depths of hell who turn kind hearted mild mannered Clark Kent types into the Victor Von Doom’s of the world I wouldn’t want to erase any of them at all….
now photoshop…that’s another matter entirely!
see women like that make me angry..and it makes it harder for the “real women” to find a good man..whos not jaded by the “cold hearted wenches from the depths of hell”
thats just extra baggage we have to deal with on top of everything else.
Sometimes you have to have a fresh pair of eyes when looking for someone new, and keeping in mind that every woman will not be that way.
MESSAGE!
“MESSAGE!”
*chuckles*
I can see Keenan Wayan now…
Ya know, Don’t Be A Menace is actually one of my favorite movies too.
I even think its funnier than Friday.
I find that few people admit to liking it… My mom likes it too and she rarely likes movies (especially hood one.)
My one of my favorite parts was Bernie Mac:
“I hate the back of Forrest Whitaker’s neck, ugh!”
I always hesitate to say this out loud, but i don’t even really care that much for Friday. The few people I’ve told act like I just spit in their momma’s eye.
“I always hesitate to say this out loud, but i don’t even really care that much for Friday. The few people I’ve told act like I just spit in their momma’s eye.”
**volunteer work**
@ For Real…thank you! when Friday came out me and my girl were the only 2 black women in the theatre NOT laughing. i just didn’t ‘get it’. oh well…
finally!! it’s not that there wasn’t anything funny about it, because the whole premise of the movie was insanely hilarious and the fact that it achieved such popularity was extremely comical!! i can say this proudly, “since the movie came out for home veiwing pleasures, i have owned the dvd in an unopened case with the plastic wrap and best buy sticker still affixed to it!!” if only i could find that damn receipt!!
I think “Friday” was hysterically funny in the beginning and middle. The lines alone that are used to this day is proof of its hilarity and Chris Tucker’s remarkable comedic timing (at that point in his career), with assist from the other actors.
I just think it went downhill towards the end once they was hiding out from Big Worm, sneaking in Debo’s spot, and the ill-fated attempt at social commentary about Nia Long’s sister being abused by Debo. It wasn’t funny no more once all that went down.
Overall though, it’s still CLASSIC!!
ain’t that the truth! I don’t make the next man pay for the sins of the last man, but I find myself being held accountable for past f*ckery that I didn’t even commit…eventually thier inability to let that old ish go, causes major issues…and unltimately…”rock kicking”
are you sure about that?? i mean, you can try but no one is completely baggageless!! it does carry over whether we would like to believe it or not!!
I am not saying I am baggage less… I am just saying I pack light… I don’t believe for a second that all men should be painted with the same brush… I am a good woman and I refuse to believe that there aren’t good men out there… I can’t be the only one left, that’s crazy! I am a male advocate… so just because the last one did some dirt, doesn’t mean the next one will…you know?
i understand your theory, but its hard for people to put into practice seeing that with each failed relationship brings emotional scars that cause people to try and keep from getting hurt again, bringing about more scars!! its something on a subconscious level that we do!! we can all claim to be impervious to it, but we aren’t!!
I COMPLETELY agree with you DG…we all fall short, but putting forth a concerted effort to make a change in yourself and how you handle disappointment, hurt, etc, can change your perspective…and thusly your reaction…maybe my language seems to paint this as an easy undertaking, be assured, this is a daily conscious effort on my part… I apply it to my whole life, not just romantic dynamics…but when I get upset or feel hurt, I take a second to figure out WHY I am really upset and WHO I am really mad at… a little goes a long way, and I am not by any means saying that I never fall short of my goal to handle each person on their own merits, I am told I do very well ith making it a reality…I try to learn my role in the good, bad, and the ugly from the past and not repeat it in the future…I can’t control what others do, only how I handle it…
“now photoshop…that’s another matter entirely!”
this made me choke on my pink grapefruit and grits
sounds good…hope my kiwi and oatmeal will be as tasty…
Isn’t that what “It’s a Wonderful Life” is about sans “cold hearted wenches from the depths of hell who turn kind hearted mild mannered Clark Kent types into the Victor Von Doom’s of the world”
man, where do i begin to start!! there have been plenty of times where i have wished that i could hit the rewind button on the remote as in click, but i have to say that in each situation i learned a lot more about myself, of what it meant to be a man and stand my grounds in regards to what i will and won’t settle for, and ultimately what i want out of life! i learned through one situation that everything that glitters isn’t gold! a lovely, intelligent young woman crossed my path and although we spent what seemed to be a beautiful considerable amount of time involved in what i thought was something meaningful, it was hell during the breakup!! of course it was my fault but i was never totally in the wrong!! i seemed to be everything she ever wanted and never had, but i couldn’t get her out of her insecurities to push beyond my past and her’s! i spent so much of my time trying to win back her affections after she cheated on me that i missed out on several wonderful blessings that came my way!! plus, the woman before her was a complete psycho (a married cop, married to another cop) who ended up stalking and terrorizing us both until i just had to step away and let them just hash it out!!! tried to explain to my ex about the situation but the damage was done and there was nothing i could do!! i tried to hide the past situation from her instead of being open and honest about it and ended up ruining us!!
plus, i wish i could go back and be more of an attentive lover to all of my past relationships! not in a sexual way (i got that down to a science), but more receptive to their issues instead of dismissing it as a problem that they had which didn’t concern me!!! at times i genuinely cared, but didn’t let it show because i was too busy being that tough and hard man with the steel exterior that was impenetrable, semi-emotionless!
i also wish i could have done things a lot more differently in other aspects of my life such as building a better relationship with my family!! i love them to death, but growing up the only male in a family full of women, i always felt like an outcast and would somewhat excommunicated myself from them! i would have even tried to build a better relationship with my father instead of using him as a bidder, auctioning off my affections to him if the price was right!! i know he wasn’t a perfect man, but who is!!! i have a good relationship now with the majority of my family, but i can’t help but wonder if it would have been closer if i hadn’t taken the time and put aside my pride and reached out!!!
i would have done exactly what was expected of me as far as education!! i’m extremely intelligent (an actual genius) but knew it and never pushed myself to excel!! i just did enough to get by and now it is taking its toll because the economical status of the world we live in is rapidly throwing me deeper into debt!! its not that i don’t make enough to survive, but i don’t make what i could have been making if only i had done what i needed to do in the first place! i played when i should have prepared and now i see that! if i had prepared myself first for the future ahead i could be playing even harder than i do now (not sure if that’s a good thing now that i think about it)!
there are many things i’d take back! that last drink, those insensitive words, the immoral and unethical acts!! but would it make me the stronger person i am today who can stand before the world and testify that it didn’t kill me to suffer through the trials and tribulations that i brought unto myself?? was it not these things that made me grow up and grow into a wiser, more humble man who knows that defeat can only be dealt by the person who chose to give up rather than face the obstacles laid before him no matter how many times it took him to rise above those challenges?? i have to say it is so!! while many of these situations have been costly lessons learned (emotionally, physically, financially, etc.), i can jump up like antoine fisher and say that here i am, still i stand!! beaten, battered and bruised, but not broken!!
Giovanni da Don weeps: “i would have done exactly what was expected of me as far as education!! i’m extremely intelligent (an actual genius) but knew it and never pushed myself to excel!!”
genius unexecuted is no more genius than an unlit lamp is a light in this world.
there are many people with letters behind their names that work outside of their study or cant find work in their fields. there are many more still that do but live an unfullfilling existence. …and many with a degree make less than those who don’t have a degree. in fact, i know a lot of idiots with degrees.
most people spend their lives in jobs they either hate of tolerate. they even convince themselves that they enjoy the work by emphasizing the positive details of their employment. they are fulfilling, perhaps out of pressing family necessity, their lower destiny. i for one am sick of disingenuous transactions with life.
higher destiny means not doing what one was expected to do by society, peers or religion but following the dictates of one’s own heart. such a course often meant facing the resentment of others, condemnation as a social rebel, and even perhaps financial failure. don’t try this shit at home. it’s not for everybody.
people who have chosen to take ”the hero’s journey” (or moira, a greek word) live according to their own values, which MAY share little or nothing in common with popular values. doing what one really wants to do is hard work, but it is more fulfilling than anything else can be. it is the ultimate key to personal happiness in the physical world. …again, don’t try this shit at home. everybody is not built for this. if you need to get in line with the rest of the drones then fall into the ranks.
and still he weeps: “there are many things i’d take back! that last drink…
i feel ya, it’s always that LAST drink that gotya all fucked up huh. the first 11 didn’t have shit to do with it.
well at the end of your Dr. Phil moment you manned up nicely. u convinced yourself that you’re still alive, but are you just living? be alive man, not just living.
“genius unexecuted is no more genius than an unlit lamp is a light in this world.”
I can already tell, your thoughts will be frequently conveyed in my pieces…like you put your mouth on my mind and kissed…now your words speak through me!
but I digress…
we are just as guilty for allowing the folks that we “Carl Thomas” to impede our judgement as they are for taking advantage of the allowance…
“do you really want to win, or just look good losing?” Phonte’, LB
“I can already tell, your thoughts will be frequently conveyed in my pieces…like you put your mouth on my mind and kissed…now your words speak through me!”
daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn, now that’s hot!
thanks TEESH!
yeah Teeesh,
it was pretty fresh. good ol GOODENess, gracious, God Almighty, JC.
a real life Jill Badu Chrisette Scott Jr. IV and shit.
I LOVE THAT!!! one of the best compliments I’ve gotten to date!
(mocking you playfully)
hug yourself!
trust me….my motto is that i don’t merely want to exist in this world, I want to live!! I live without boundaries and always with one foot off the ground (especially during those damn field sobriety tests) ready to leap from one interesting experience to another!!
and as far as the education and the career, i teach high school math and love every minute of it, even the hardships because when i see the faces on a student in my calculus class when that light bulb goes off and they finally get it, absolutely worth it!! but i wish that i would have not taken the break that i did while in school because now to retire i have to do four extra years than what i would have done if i didn’t take those years off in school trying to run after the short money that left me as soon as i got it!! Could have retired at exactly 50 instead of 54!!
plus, i write!! short stories and novellas mostly, but i am working on two works which are novel sized!! and starting my own publishing house to self publish my books, as well as a few of the students i teach who have expressed how much they want to tell the story they have in their heads to the world and my mother’s cookbooks (a lifelong dream of hers, i’m gonna help her out)!!
as far as the last drinks on those most memorable occasions?? the first cost me my love, for her death may have been a result of my habits; the second one, a six month suspension and time running around doing all these costly little things that were so time consuming and asinine; the third…nearly 10k and more time consuming, asinine projects !! never stating that i was drunk in the least bit, so whether 1 or 11 has absolutely nothing to do with it, it was the timing!! just shouldn’t have downed the last drink, whether it be one of many or the one and only, and immediately hopped into the car!!
“the woman before her was a complete psycho (a married cop, married to another cop) who ended up stalking and terrorizing us both until i just had to step away and let them just hash it out!!!”
Was she married when you were together?
the cop?? yeah, she lied about that, her real name, and a few other things!!! when i found out, i ended it very quickly, which might be the reason she stalked the hell out of us (my ex and i)!! the cop was just a woman i met out and kicked it with for about 3 months until i found out that she was married, her name wasn’t Christie, and that she was a cop…i have a slight weakness for cops, teachers and lawyers!! They always get to me!!
but once i met my ex, i really got rid of the rest of the trash that was accumulating in my life, and she was sitting on the curb like the rest of them….only she wouldn’t stay put!!
what is it with cops and stalking and abusive behavior? i’ve heard enough stories to make me never, ever, ever, ever date one.
I have heard that “code blue” and “blue shield” junk is TRILL! they are taught the basic tools for stalking, abusing etc, under the guise of needing to understand criminals to catch them…plus, when investigationg, you learn how the “perps” do what they do and where they messed up…(like watching CSI can help plan perfect felonius endeavors…) and then they cover up for each other…(sigh)
that they do!! but i learned a few things as well!! and will have to use them sometime in the near future to test them out!!
@Tiffany. Cops are truly a different breed. They are overly agressive and in most cases abusive. I hate to sterotype but from my experiences, I have found it to be true.
i did like the fact that she had her own handcuffs!! but when she clamped them down like she was making a real arrest, i started figuring it out!! slowly but surely, the pieces started coming together and i knew i didn’t want to play in her toy box anymore!!!
a little long-winded are we?
@Don. This was interesting. If you changed one of those things, you would be a totally different person.
@el and teacia and none of you would have had your world brightened by my presence!! you gotta love it!!!
p.s. ~~ the exclamation points are here to stay!!!! get used to them!!!
oh lawd, seriously Kas enough with the !!!! already…lol. *kisses*
you know you love them…..and they love you!!! plus, its easier than finding the period on the keyboard of my phone!!
@Don. Didn’t I tell you last night not to put my nickname out there for the people of VSB to see. You might have tried me!!!! And you are your own reason you didn’t enjoy ET!!!!!
I might still your exclamation trade mark!!!! You just started something!!!!!!!
DG, I feel you on this…it’s like looking into the pieces of a shattered mirror and recognizing my face in various fragments.
AkShone…where you been baby!
“pieces of a shattered mirror”
imagery…poetic picture painting…
Occupational needs have altered my frequency to contribute, but I have been reading printouts of the topics for my journey home on the train in the evenings.
I’ve missed out on some great dialogue…on the bright side; I have made a few pretty girls smile by referring to my package as my “meat puppet”…that’s just the gift that keeps on giving…and for that I thank you.
my pleasure…and now, yours…
my bad!! i think i went a little overboard on this one!! one too many shots of patron!!! but, uh, yeah!! regrets plenty and Damn glad i still did them all!!
You’re the only person I know of that refuses to use periods at the end of sentences.
yeah he’s all about the exclamation points…actually he’s ALWAYS been like that. good thing he’s not a teacher…oh wait…lol.
However, the comma usage? Superb. and the exclamation point game?? Viciouso.
exclamation points are your friends!! don’t be afraid to use them!!!
I find that I use ellipsis a lot and often times self edit so it won’t seem like I’m being too passive, I guess its my way of trailing off into silence…
I like the exclamation points
thanks!!! i’ll use them just for you!!!
@Don. Don’t blame it on the patron, that was in your heart.
that’s that homey the clown tanget he goes off on. it’s emotional he’s really feeling it. patron my ass. LMBAO!
damn….you figured me out!!! HA HA HA!!
you know something el!! the hell with you!! you know the hardships i went through last night, you and your non-ET watching behind being one of the two of them!! don’t take away my ability to blame it on the patron!!
@Don. You better chill with the nickname usage. I ain’t no killer but don’t test me!!!!
“plus, the woman before her was a complete psycho (a married cop, married to another cop) who ended up stalking and terrorizing us both until i just had to step away and let them just hash it out!!! tried to explain to my ex about the situation but the damage was done and there was nothing i could do!!”
Sounds like a R.Kelly In The Closet pt. 232 LOL
i got plenty of trapped in the closet stories, under the bed stories and sitting outside the bedroom window on the roof waiting for the husband/boyfriend to leave or go to sleep!! and never will i date someone on the 3rd floor or higher again!! That fall hurt like hell!!!!!
“never will i date someone on the 3rd floor or higher again!!”
It seems to me maybe your issue might be a little displaced, how about you set your standards to never dating someone in a “relationship” then your issues with closets, bedroom windows, roofs, balconies, and other discreet hiding places wont be so much of an issue that is of course unless you move the coital ceremonies on to such places then well that is all you.
Just sayin…
well, i have definitely tried that, but it seems that some will lie (if given the opportunity), which puts me in the predicament of trying to figure out if its the truth or a lie!! i definitely commend the ones who are honest with me, i can then choose to involve myself with a closet scenario rather than having it thrust upon me!!
@Intellectual. Good observation and I concur. Don needs to stop dating people who are already involved.
f*ck them all!!! especially the ones who couldn’t give head worth sh!t and even the ones that could!!
you were in an eff’d up situation AND there was “bad” head?? HELL NAH.. at least I can say that the whackest most Bobby Brown cats that I half way regret were grrrrrrreat in the sack! I am NOT about to put up with your shullbit AND have to tolerate less than adequate loving! BOOOOOOO!!!!
“BOOOOOO!!!”
Lol…my sentiments exactly. If you’re not going to give head or even be bad at it, at the very least you gotta be representing in the relationship in other ways.
@Good. Say that! Seriously, show me a “bad” boyfriend and I’ll show you a good lover! Why the hell else would he still be around?
@ Elenda ~speak that truth
GOODENess said: “show me a bad boyfriend and i’ll show you a good lover.”
yeah and you can wear that lil caveat on ur shirt to the next Oprah after the show reunion or pity party at Dr. Phil’s house. LMBAO!
LOL @ Elena and her good lover bad boyfriends ….. LOL.
not saying that they weren’t a good f*ck, but the head game was all wrong!! i’m sitting there like “hey goddammit!! what did i tell you about them teeth?? this ain’t no carrot, ho!! use the lips and the tongue!!” i know i am a teacher, but why am i supposed to teach her!!
NO WAY! as a teacher you should know that the grading crieteria that qualifies one as a “good f*ck” is a “B” (84-89 of 100) or better…oral technique is at LEAST (or should be at least) 25pts of your total grade, which means with marginal mouth play you can’t get more than an 80-83! which is NOT a “B” and therefore, by definition renders one in-eligible to graduate from the class ANY CUM LAUDE!
moral of the story!
I honestly don’t think you can be labeled a good f*ck with un-good head! (shrugging) I’m just saying… lol
oral pleasures and sex are on two different rubrics because i may not want to have sex with you, but you can give me head or i might want to kiss you a little later and since i just got finished playing ball with the guys, i’ll just have sex tonight!! but then again, there are times when both have been had or none at all!!
and, uh, we down here in the backwoods of GA have adopted the scale of 90-100=A, 80-89=B, etc.!! the hardest thing to make is a D!! its just a 70!!
nah… I was speaking on the +/- scale… 80-83=B-, 84-86=B+, and 87-89=B+… lol… but I feel you…
And that is not to say that head is a mandatory occurance during sex…just thaat you can’t get full credit as a “good f*ck” until I have had a sample… ya know? I have had GREAT SEX and didn’t get the mouth, but GREAT SEX is a VERB…GOOD F*CK is a NOUN… lol… and really…what man wouldn’t love some bomb @ss head after a pick up game at the gym? (I’m just saying)
Goody: “…and really…what man wouldn’t love some bomb @ss head after a pick up game at the gym? (I’m just saying)”
i would. i mean i do. thats a good time to get it in. im conditioned, a lil tired, muscles warmed up, pheremones shaken not stirred, nuts salty. you gon get it now girl.
i have had friends come over after a game or when i’m in the yard cutting grass and they were thoroughly turned out and creamy. no shower, nothing, just beast like. incredible hulking there asses. whoa lemme relax here a minute.
I repeat…are you SURE you don’t know me in real life??? REALLY???
@ good…i’ve had and get it plenty regularly!! i have no problem smashing that, shower or no shower!! just when you give me head and my nuts are as salty as Planter’s…don’t come kissing me!! maybe after a listerine gargle or something, but i have to keep it down on the salt intake!! blood pressure is kinda high!!
“this ain’t no carrot!!”
if you add a comma and “ho” to the end of that, it would make for another great t-shirt
@Champ. You are killing me with editing these phrases to make them t-shirt worthy. I need a female version of that one though.
People aren’t regrets or mistakes in my opinion. I hate to get all Hayhouse up and through…but the people you hate the most often mirror things in yourself you wish to change. That doesn’t mean you should go all half on a baby/condo/french fries wit they azz, but its also a reflection of potential opportunities for growth.
The THING I wish I could change the most is all this regular school non-sense I had to do. I don’t regret it persay. But what would my life have been like if I had actually WENT to NYU Tisch (filmschool). I did do a little somethin somethin at Columbia for a semester. But I think my life would have been totally different had I moved to NY to live for 3 or 4 years.
But I think overall nothing is tragically inevitable (shout out to my girl Lalah for the song)…its like what was meant to be in essence already IS.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is one of my favorite movies too! We all have people that we wish that we could have erased, but I think they do teach us a lesson. One guy that comes to mind is my last ex. We broke up in ’04 and got back together in ’06 for another year of torture. We should have never should have gotten back together because of all our old problems just came right back again and it was stressful for both of us. It was a lesson learned….
You know the thing that was most deep in the movie to me was the fact that erasing them actually removes all the good feelings too. Which sucked. At some point, every asshole we hate in hindsight was somebody who made us feel great and warm and fuzzy. Or else we’d never be in a position to wish things would be different. It’s the ultimate catch-22.
“At some point, every asshole we hate in hindsight was somebody who made us feel great and warm and fuzzy.”
This is very true but I have had one relationship where for years after, I counldn’t remember any of the good times. I tried and got nothing.
@Panama. That is so true. That’s what I have to preach to people who HATE their babies mom/dad. I mean, there had to be “something” you liked about the person for you to lay down with them THEN get up and have his/her child.
“there had to be “something” you liked about the person for you to lay down with them THEN get up and have his/her child.” In defense of some men that got caught up in a bad situation…. yeah they liked how she looked while they were wearing beer goggles (or other goggles) and didnt have a condom. But I hear what you are saying.
Somewhere at sometime that person you hate now you at least liked at some point.
That’s what got me about the movie too. *Spoiler Alert* (but frankly the movie is pretty old so I don’t feel too bad), but all of the trouble he went to to make sure she wasn’t completely erased in the end was so telling to me. We may think we wished something never happened, but when push comes to shove, we rarely truly feel that way.
“Hell, if I had my current wisdom…”
EXACTLY!!! if it weren’t for the V8 wasters in our lives, we wouldn’t have had the “rain” that led to the “rainbow” that is our current wisdom…
@Good. Time breeds wisdom. There is no way to have the wisdom without the experience.
It is easy to forget about the storm when you have that rainbow in front of you.
P-Jack asks: “So, good people of VSB.com in the Kingdom of Smartness, what would you do differently? Any blemishes from the past that you’d like to Proactiv away or decisions that probably just weren’t so hot that your current wisdom wouldn’t let happen even if Mel Gibson was directing your life’s story?
Q: what would i do diff?
A: notta. im using the past to create my future while being very much alive in the present.
Q: “Any blemishes from the past that you’d like to Proactiv away or decisions that probably just weren’t so hot that your current wisdom wouldn’t…”
A: bad decisions yes. but my unique journey has and is opening many possibilities to me for the future i am creating.
now let’s get it in.
interesting stuff.
you can literally change the past by altering your perception of it. the past has no effect except by its influence on the present. by changing the past that exists in your consciousness, you alter its connection to the present reality. something may have happened in the past which you perceived in a negative way but if you choose now to perceive what happened in a positive way or to perceive what’s positive in it, other people’s perception of it will also be changed in the present. we can change our past by altering our memory of it. when we change the way we think about what happened, we tap into an alternate past timeline where the way we imagine it to be really did happen that way.
the alternate past timeline leads to certain things that would have happened in our alternate present reality. therefore this reality manipulation with consciousness would result in synchronicities occurring in the present or near future of our actual timeline, as it merges with an alternate one.
i know, hard to swallow. keep living.
“you can literally change the past by altering your perception of it. the past has no effect except by its influence on the present. by changing the past that exists in your consciousness, you alter its connection to the present reality. something may have happened in the past which you perceived in a negative way but if you choose now to perceive what happened in a positive way or to perceive what’s positive in it, other people’s perception of it will also be changed in the present. we can change our past by altering our memory of it. when we change the way we think about what happened, we tap into an alternate past timeline where the way we imagine it to be really did happen that way. ”
GK–you got any books or DVDs coming out ???
i must say i am merely sharing what i have studied and learned from other philosophers etc. there is nothing new under the sun however you can create somethings new from somethings old with a new configuration, fusion etc. at the end of the day we are all borrowing from others.
look for my stories to be produced and distributed in the near future. may those stories be higly entertaining and purposeful without being preachy and teachy. may they be worthy of audiences universally and may i be able to share with the universe works of great value that the universe has never experienced before in a way it has never experienced it before. until destinies collide… stay tuned.
Can I make a request…and I haven’t even had my starbucks so this is SERIOUS…can you do an analysis on the urban black man myth (ie THE STATS) and perhaps even being an internalization of how we FEEL, and thereby WHAT we manifest.
i’m tuned.
sounds like you got something you wanna say. i’m not sure i’m qualified but the mere desire you have is an indication that you posess the CAPABILITY of tackling the question. if you decide to do it, i’ll participate.
@damn genius. That was hard to swallow but I think it’s true and could be done. Similar to finding the positive or silver lining in everything (bad or good) that happens to you.
…have I told you I e-love you today? (swoon)
The song is called simply “I Wish”
Thank you and good night.
My ex…the one I seriously considered doing jail time over. Hindsight, I never would have given him my phone #.
“My ex…the one I seriously considered doing jail time over”
damn. please expound
We dated off again/on again for 3 years, I was in love, he decides he wants to get back with his HS sweetheart, and moves her into his apt., but completely denies it the whole time he was still dating me.
I was on the way over there with my Louisville Slugger, ready to take care of business. Something was getting hit, either his face, or his windsheld, but cooler heads (my BFF and my cousin) prevailed and I just cut my losses. He still doesn’t know what was about to go down.
thank you for sharing.
*making mental note to never date miss t-lee*
riiiiggghhhtttt!!!!
shush!!! I am not crazy…you got the short story version.
@T-lee. I think we all have that one person that if we could have kilt and gotten away with it, we would have.
LOL. Well yes it is…but Carl Thomas still sang it and he still sucks ass so I shall call it what I want.
I’m sexxy like that.
I love Carl Thomas AND that cd…my ex use to play, “You ain’t right” all the time when I would f@ck up(which was often)…they were the best of times, they were the worst of times. *sighing*
That kinda sucks that he would play a song to reinforce the fact that you messed up. Booo.
Girl I would die laughing everytime he played it…it kind of became our song. I was using him and he knew it, but we were both young and took a lot from that relationship.
@Teacia. FOH! I had an 2 exes play that song on repeat in my presence after I had broke up with them. Needless to say, I hate that fuc*n’ song!!!
That cd was good especially “Giving You All My Love”
That whole CD was the sh*t!!! It was literally a soundtrack of a time period in my life in which I was a person that I didn’t like myself being. I still love that CD though, and even the memories that assist it.
My only problem with the one I feel I could have done without is we made such a beautiful little offspring and I can’t imagine my life now without my son. And as you stated in the entry he helped me fully grow into myself. He is 13 years my senior and I was only 25 at the time so….
I think the general consensus is that everyone does things (or people) who they may or may not regret, but inevitably, if you take the lesson from that experience and apply it to the future, it makes you better in the long run and it’s not really a regret.
I’d say that even the time I got carjacked at gun point isn’t a regrettable experience. I’d probably wish I wouldn’t have met my carjacker if I’d been shot and/or killed though – but I wasn’t. In all, it made me be more cautious and conscious of my surroundings and to make better decisions in staying out of harm’s way.
I’ve taken things from all of my relationships also in making me the man I am today. As Monnie said, as long as you’re not one of those people to continue to go down the same road expecting a different result, it works out for the better.
If I could go back and change shit … when he came home with an injured penis I would dump him rather than tell myself he most likely has learned his lesson on putting his penis in other women’s mouths.
“If I could go back and change shit … when he came home with an injured penis I would dump him rather than tell myself he most likely has learned his lesson on putting his penis in other women’s mouths.”
cheryl, seriously, you need to make a documentary of all your relationships. we’ll even fund it with the money we make from the t-shirts
“all your relationships” sounds like I have had so many. I haven’t. The last one tho is the one where all this abnormal stuff occurred, and where I was the most umm dumb.
is this the demon guy?
Yep.
wow…
This dude sounds like a Rocky Horror Show…but black casted.
wait!! so his piece was injured? injured how? WTF did he tell you happened? I gotta know! lol
He came over, we watched TV, contemplated going to the movies decided against it. At one point he said come with me upstairs I have to tell you something. I thought we were going upstairs to have “adult” time, lo and behold he’s like I have to show you something. He pulls out his weenus and he’s like look, he shows me a gaping wound at the base of the head of thing-thang. I asked how it happened and he’s like “She bit me.” I paused. I collected myself and was like “She?” He explained the night before he was at a friend’s house and this chick was there that wanted to give him the business and he said he said jokingly that he couldn’t f*ck her but she could suck him off.
So he puts his weenus in her mouth and after a moment she nearly took the head of it off.
I threw him the antibacterial soap and the neosporin and told him human bite wounds are filled with bacteria and stand a very high chance of becoming infected so he needed to be diligent. Then I said “Well, guess you know what happens when you put your dick in a mouth that isn’t mine.” I walked out the room and he called after me asking me to help him make sure it doesn’t become infected, so I did.
is this the same dude that called YOU a demon? ain’t no way in the hell…you are an ANGEL cause (pointing to self) this stallion right here would have thrown alcohol on it… and then showed him the door… “jokingly said” my @ss… see now you done ran me hot (an not in a good way) this fool called you out, but almost got decapitated trying to be slick! EFF DAT!
girl you are either a saint or you’re crazy…maybe a crazy saint…but I give you props for maintaining your composure, I would have been on channel 4 with a jacket on my head!
not really, but I would be on the CUSP of KILLANI99A!
I associated the calmness to I went into “medical mode.”
and yes, this is the same dude that told me his god told him I was a demon.
*mocking Flavor Flav*
Wooooooowwwwww…
Wow @your calmness.
Wow@ a gaping wound on the love below.
lol@him showing you.
@Cheryl. You couldn’t have called your girls and told them the story on the same day it happened or else ya’ll would have handled that fool.
I am glad you stayed calm and didn’t tell anybody until your temper went down. That dude was testing you… All the time.
Wow. Just wow. I applaud your composure. And i know the least of your concerns was the other chick, but seriously, who the fuck does some ish like that for no reason?
ForReal!
Yeah, this is a horror show:
Night of the Living Head Biters
…I don’t want to see that show…d@mn, I cringed as you described the utter detail of his beheading.
last i saw his manparts, was still a very visible scar.
are you f*%cking kidding me? what?!!! omg, what’s his name? ya know i’m the not the violent type, never so much as scratched anyone, but let me tell you that moment right there would have led to a very long prison sentence. i kid, i kid. but i do like the alcohol trick that Goodeness suggested. that would have been hilarious…”baby, pour this on it …BURNNNNN!!!!! gotcha biotch!” then like Dave Chappelle “ya cut off! ya cut off!” no mcrib for him…
I am telling you… I would have been laughing my ass off from up under that jacket on my head as 5-0 led me from the house.. and would have taken a cute ass mugshot since I KNOW it would be all over the net…(shrugging) but I bet I wouldn’t do time for that ish… I mean, I didn’t do anything…they would have to go find the tire-biting b*tch that took “eat a d!ck” literally…
seriously, who ‘bites’ a penis? that’s just wrong…
@Good. Thanks for asking! I needed to know. My nosey a$$ was about to ask for her phone number for the details.
So what exactly happened to his penis? I mean, clearly the chick bit it but why? and how hard must this have happened for you to know about it? were there marks, bruising? This is some crazy ish!
you musta not read up there where I explained it.
ole girl bit the fooooook outta him. shoulda had stitches but he refused.
nice sized gash right under the cusp of the penis head.
yeah i was late/off on my reply. That is truly some crazy stuff.
damn…now this is a woman who is willing to stand by her man, injured penis and all!! hell, i got the couch for a week before she up and left after i came home with lipstick on the back of my shirt with no idea of how it got there!! i said maybe a short woman bumped into my back, leaving a print there by accident….she found that hard to believe!!! i would have rather it be on my boxers of on the head of my penis, if i could have had it my way and not on the back of the shirt!!
well see… was the lipstick inside or outside the collar and at which angle were the lips? As if she (the kisser) were facing your front?
CSI in full affect
LOL!! no, it was on the back of the shirt!! not the collar, not on the inside, but on the outside and back of the shirt like she just ran into my back with her big a$$ lips!! you can tell that the lips rolled up, from bottom to top and there looked to be a raised eyebrow above it, from where she had drawn them in!! hell, we were in the club!! there were people bumping us left and right!!!!
clearly this short woman had a short face since she also left her raised eyebrow imprint on the collar as well. Either that or thats an awfully large collar.
no…just on the back of the shirt!! not on the collar, or anywhere near the inside….the back!!!
lol@ awfully large collar.
I believe your story d. giovanni. It’s very easy to bump up against a clean white shirt and leave a lipstick print, especially in crowded spaces.
I’ve done it before at work and I felt so bad about it.
@Intellectual. LMFAO at the CSI investigation!
LOL! Its what I fall asleep to most nights so its in my subconscience. Sometimes I dont even realize I go into CSI mode and then I catch myself. LOL! my bad
@Comeback…if there is a book, wanna go half on it?
I try not to regret things or people…but there are a few experiences and deadbeat “friends” i could have done without. But today, I regret not paying my damn speeding ticket in Omega GA because now I can’t update my address on my Driver’s License to match my damn rental agreement so I can enroll my child in one of the best charter schools in the city by the Monday deadline! DAMMIT! (sorry, needed to vent)
So..I wish I could erase that raggedy ass cop in Omega who gave me a speeding ticket when I was only trying to decrease congestion on the roads by driving efficiently. HRMPH!
Ummmm, you need to go to SBM’s blog…today is venting day!
Oh and as far as the DL thing, just get a State ID card with the correct address until you can get the license updated…it works the same…u should have called me gurl.
what the hell is in omega, ga?? and how did andy griffin catch you??
personally, no, i haven’t met anyone who i truly regret meeting (**knocking on wood**). monk said earlier that “if you take the lesson from that experience and apply it to the future, it makes you better in the long run and it’s not really a regret.” and i agree 100 percent.
now, as far as someone regretting meeting me? hmmm, i think i need to finish my breakfast
Yeah, I took a lot away from my relationship with my son’s father that has been beneficial even in my relationship now, but still…
I could have done without his year and a half of lies and deception. Really I could have.
i don’t think any man has ever regretted meeting me…as evidenced by how they’ve all popped back up, found me on the net, etc. i always seem to hear things like “you know, i was really in love with you, but i *insert lame a** excuse here* so um, yeah, i’m sorry”
@JBoogie…I co-sign this all day. What is it about men randomly popping up. Booooo.
@Queen. I think they pop back up because they realize that grass was NOT greener. But then again, I discovered that men honestly believe once they hit once, they can always hit. I had 2 men (platonic friends) tell me that crap with a straight face. They really believe that they can reappear in any females life from their past. (SMH) Crazy.
That is crazy but for some reason a lot of men do believe that. Why? I don’t know… especially if we ended on not so good terms.
“That is crazy but for some reason a lot of men do believe that.”
because it happens, thats why
Believe me, this goes down!! It might not be true in all circumstances, but I’d bet more than not, if the dude really put his mind to it.
i have to agree with the champ on that one!! now the ex sex is some good sex, especially if it is the “i despise and hate you so much” ex sex!! that’s where all the emotions come out; the hate, the love, the raw emotions that just pour out!! about to go look for a phone number and will talk to you all later!!
grudge-fuck good-shit
familliar sex. well more sex, than familliar but you see the point.
word… lmao i thought it was just me. i wanna say 80% of the men i have done something with have come back to haunt me at some point years later, lmao omg.
I’m one of those people who doesn’t regret any of the folks I’ve met…but I do wish I’d just walked away from one. I was engaged once upon a time to a great guy…we went thru a rough patch…and my nose got opened by this bus driver dude. Well, I decided that I wanted to be single…dumped the fiance…and started having relations with this other guy. Took me YEARS to get my body in agreement with my mind…he was NOT long-term relationship material. I learned a lesson, though…and I won’t be repeating it anytime soon.
After I saw Eternal Sunshine, I also wished I could erase my ex-fiance from my head for a while, because I kept kicking myself in the tail for letting him go. Now I’m okay with it…because I had some amazing experiences with him.
“i don’t think any man has ever regretted meeting me”
not even the ex-fiancee?
he shouldn’t…had he not met me, he wouldn’t have met and married his wife…i set them up.
Very interesting.
oooh. yeah. if i could have done it over, i would have skipped my last relationship. the relationship was so intense at the beginning and the breakup was so emotionally draining (and long) that it made the whole relationship feel, in retrospect, like it wasn’t worth it.
plus i made a decision to stay in my current city (one i’m not all that happy in) when i had an opportunity to leave. i don’t think i would have stayed here if i hadn’t met him. i thought we were going to be in it for the long haul … and well, no.
that relationship is the only one i wish had never happened.
Everyone I dated between 1999 and 2002.
damn…millennium goggles, huh?…lol…partied like it was 1999 (for 3 years), did we?
Young and dumb.
@Dayum Hostess. EVERYONE???????? Or was it just one person that stole those years from you?
Ev-uh-reeee-one!
@Hostess. Stop showing out. There has to be at least one that you enjoyed!
There are definitely some people that make me want to hurl when I think of them. But I wouldn’t change any of it. All those fools I allowed in my world taught me things about myself I didn’t realize were there or didn’t want to face.
Yeah, I should have worked harder in college and I definitely could have been a rich chick by now. I could have married the first 3 that proposed (glad I didn’t though) and I probably should have left dude in Atlantic City sweating in the bathroom. I should have broken up with Y as soon as he was locked up for murder and I should have never tried to date 6 dudes at once. I should have cut my father off years ago and there are some fights that I wish I hadn’t been in. I should have never opened the door that day he knocked on the door…should have called the police instead. Driving down MLK in reverse with bullets flying at my car… shouldn’t have had anyone in my car that caused such a commotion. Oh well. I had a lot of fun and a lot of heartache. I think the two are about equal.
Overall, these experiences taught me how to trust and respect myself in a relationship (or lack thereof) and how to love a man. I learned how to love me more. I gained a ton of humility and how to let go a little…more like a lot. I learned some illegal things and some more illegal things. I’m a good getaway driver. lol So, overall, I have some truly embarrassing stories but I am also gonna write a hell of a book one day…that is when I get the guts to put all my business in the street.
I’m better because of everything I’ve done. I can also appreciate goodness in a man and situation in a way I previous could not…and hey, what is life without stories.
dang girl…sounds like you could write a book about your exploits…
lol…you sure your real name isn’t “winter santiago”?
@Champ…Totally sure…I’m not a ho and I’m not that ghetto. lol That book was interesting though. I can see why you asked that. Rereading my comment, it sounds like I had a hard life. I didn’t…I had a lot of fun. You always have less regrets when you don’t sleep with the majority of fools you date. I guess I need to hurry up and write this book to clear up the confusion.
i can actually understand that comment now as opposed to two months ago!! never got past the 2nd chapter, but with it being seen on the table at the house, it did assist in closing some deals!!
Closing deals how? If I saw that shitty ass book in a man’s house, my mental chastity belt would come one, unless he had Soledad Brother, Song of Solomon and a rack of Afro Studies books to balance that out.
@Champ! Hold up men read “The Coldest Winter Ever” too??? WOWWWWWWW (flav-flav)
i tried to read it only because i wanted inspiration for my own works and i heard it was supposed to be something of a miraculous work of literature!! i couldn’t get past the 1st couple of chapters!!
Oh I could write a book on one person I wish I never met. I spent the majority of my twenties hoping and praying that this man would grow up and realize how great I was. Needless to say, it never happened. If I hadn’t spent so much time hopelessly devoted to his selfish, arrogant behind, I’d probably be married with 2.5 kids, a dog and a white picket fence. . . Or maybe its not my time yet. Either way, he was a waste!
In his defense, I must say that the years I spent beyond year one were my fault. By this time, he had shown me exactly who he was but I was hoping he would change. I can say that he’s taught me exactly what is and is not acceptable. He ruined it for the next jacka** I meet. Jacka** won’t get a second chance to screw up.
“I can say that he’s taught me exactly what is and is not acceptable
i was feeling this. up until..
“He ruined it for the next jacka** I meet. Jacka** won’t get a second chance to screw up.”
so everybody’s gonna be on a short leash because of that one dude?
Yes…sort of. I’ve learned from dude that when you see signs, get out. In college and in my early twenties I gave dudes numerous chances to get right. Now, I don’t have that kind of time or patience. Get it right the first time or I’m out!
This scares me…I’m already on a year and 3 months…I gotta get out while I still have a future!
Um, I have a few things/people I regret. Maybe not regret, but wish I smartened up a bit quicker. I was getting played for a year and some change and my dumb ass didn’t realize it. But he taught me a lot and I know what I won’t put up with next time.
I DO regret my fling after him though lol. Hooking up with a random dude was just not okay after the split. He was fine and it was a good time, but I would have liked to leave him off my list.
“but I would have liked to leave him off my list.”
why?
Because I don’t know him like that! When I look back on my life, I don’t want to think I’ve spent my 20s test driving cars that I don’t plan to take off the lot.
shoot, that’s the whole point of your 20s
“So, good people of VSB.com in the Kingdom of Smartness, what would you do differently? ”
I would like to have NEVER lost my virginity…it all went downhill from there. Faaam-u, faaam- u, fam god dam u….alright, alright, alright.
Now I have a laundry list of things I would have done diffently in my life. Don’t get it twisted I love my life but some things just didn’t go as planned.
1. I would have never changed my major in college and would be sitting pretty as a dentist right now instead of working in HR.
2. Dropping my high school sweetheart was a huge mistake. I should have endured the distance and ignored all the p* chasers at FAMU and married that Army man. My benefits would be off the chain and I would be married with kids right now.
3. I would have never stopped paying on my credit card and would have excellent credit.
4. I would have never moved in with my current boyfriend because now he is too damn comfortable and will probaly never marry my a$$.
5. I would have started investing in my 40k when I was 16 like my mom advised me to.
That’s enough for now.
“Dropping my high school sweetheart was a huge mistake. I should have endured the distance and ignored all the p* chasers at FAMU and married that Army man. My benefits would be off the chain and I would be married with kids right now.”
One time for government benefits!!!
“. I would have never moved in with my current boyfriend because now he is too damn comfortable and will probaly never marry my a$$.”
…never too late to change that one…i’m just saying. *hugs*
@Teacia. Thanks for the hugs always but I am saving too much money at the moment so the jury is still out on the move out date :0
@ Elenda~you sound like me in year 9 of a 14 year relationship that should have ended at year 5… Comfort is a B*TCH!
@ INTELLECT…dayum…I did that too…but it was year 11 of a 12 year stint that should have ended in year 1.5! oh but the “D” had me on lock! (even thought I was too young to be “goosing”)
@ Elenda~never to early or to late to move out… just an option
@intellectual hedonist. Thanks, I have to fall out of love with comfort first.
girl I feel you. That is the hardest love to fall out of.
@ el…that # 5 is so agreeable!! as well as #1!! but then, would i have become the me that you love so much?? i doubt it!! would i have become the me that made your man cry and not speak to you for 2 weeks after i whipped that a$$ at the spades table?? i actually might have still been that guy!! btw, he looked a little nervous last night when he saw the deck i had…it was as if he caught flashbacks of the beat down by the masters!! sweat was pouring and he started shaking a bit as well!!
@Don. You about to make me come through this damn computer and break your phone for evening thinking half the sh!t you just typed. Ain’t nobody scarred of your a$$ when it comes to spades!!! You know what? We gotta squash this sh!t. Your head is getting to fuc’n big behind one lil victory. Meet me Saturday night at 9. You know the place. Bring your partner and I will have mine.
@ El…i believe there were two victories that night!! i still have the paper to prove it!!
“So, good people of VSB.com in the Kingdom of Smartness, what would you do differently?”
It’s not directly related to the question, but there is one thing that happened in my life that I have not learned from. I had no say so in the decision and there is nothing I could have done to change it, but it happened. I wish I could learn from it. I believe that God can use everything in life for your good, but I haven’t seen anything good come from this yet. It makes a Christian woman wonder…
Which leads me to the more personal question…how do people get past parental divorce, child abuse, the death of a loved one, being attacked…how do you not regret something like that in life?
I think regret applies to the choices we have made and not the events that have happened to us that we had little to no control over.
hmm…regret is a strong word. if anything i wish i had just ‘snapped out of it earlier’. i tell myself that those seemingly regrettable experiences will 1) make very powerful fiction one day and 2) prevent me from making the same mistakes over again. not to mention, they’ll make excellent tales from the darkside for when I have my own kids one day. poor, poor kids of the future…but at least they’ll learn a thing or two.
“Which leads me to the more personal question…how do people get past parental divorce, child abuse, the death of a loved one, being attacked…how do you not regret something like that in life?”
Thats a good question. I wasn’t an abused child nor have I been physically attacked. But I would think that that kind of treatment gives you more insight into the human condition. My heart goes out to a child who is being abused (physically or otherwise) because most children can’t fight back. I often wonder what kind of person would hurt a child. But then I immediately go to, “the same kind of person who would hurt a perpetrator as a child him or herself”.
In those extreme instances therapy immedately comes to mind. I think forgiveness is up there too. Being thankful, cause by the grace of God you aren’t (hopefully) the person who hurt you. And then being conscious of the children we raise. Someone before wrote “a child today might be someone’s problem tomorrow).
Death and other endings to me, aren’t really always bad. I believe that people live on. Things they say might come out of someone else’s mouth. Or you just feel them around. A parental relationship ending isn’t bad either. Sometimes its a good thing that parent didn’t stay around. Sometimes people have to leave to “get right”.
that answer was for Queen
“how do people get past parental divorce, child abuse, the death of a loved one, being attacked…how do you not regret something like that in life?”—
Good question. The answer: Therapy. Seriously folks, therapy. Otherwise, you go through your whole life being angry @ the abuser, the attacker, the loved one, etc…and all that bitterness just eats up your soul.
Miss Patterson that was real talk.
*Wednesday Evening Prayer Service*
I regret nothing. They all helped mold me into the irresistible man I am today. Even the ex-wife, with all the heartbreak that she put me through, was a valuable lesson to me. On the other hand there are a couple I wish I had not let go…..but that is another story.
Irresistible, huh? Is this your assessment or the assessment of those you’ve encountered?
BTW I hate missing a day on with you… this should be your new slogan.
MISS A DAY @VSB YOU MISS THE WORLD
if i was 17 i would have a list of things i regret. but im not. and now at 23, i can say every ridiculous situation i have been in served me well in what i know in the future. it took one of my former closest friends judging me for me to realize my regrets were based on stigmas and not on any flaws in my own character. from that moment i realized that yes i have made bad decisions, we all do, but if i didnt make those bad decisions i wouldnt be the boss b*tch i am today: knowing my worth, living fabulously, and just not dealing with bullshish. i even turned down the altruism because itsnted of making me virtuous it was just keeping me in a whole lot of unnecessary situations.
would i spend another year with someone who didnt give me anything as far as compassion and attention? no
would i find myself with a man who sold drugs? no
would i make friends with anyone who lived in a basement and only owned 2 pairs of underwear? no
would i have learned not to do these things if i aint get myself into these wacky situations? no
why? cause im not one of those people who learn from others experiences cause i have realized that people dont portray themselves as they truly appeared when recounting such stories; they tend to dress it up to make themselves look good. also, when i listen to people who are starving to be in control of things explain how they “would” handle a certain situation, i just laugh because they seem to ignore their entire emotional dimension.
this is pretty drawn out now, but the moral of the story is, the perfect life is boring as shit. live and do what you want.
This was golden. Thank you shay you just saved me money on a therapist.
The things I wish I could change are not necessarily those where I made bad decisions (either knowingly or unknowingly) or things where I made a conscious decision, but it went the wrong way. Instead it’s those things that were for the most part out of my control that I wish could be changed in my past.
My past decisions and actions, for better or for worse make me who I am today. If they were changed, I wouldn’t be who am I now. . .and perhaps the new person would not have wanted them changed.
I just reread the blog, and the phrase “inexperienced domegame” jumped out at me…i think i’m appropriating that one ASAP!
has anybody heard from D*Pain a.k.a. D Stroy?
if ur out there D get wit us.
I was just thinking bout him today… then I thought maybe he took an early vacation…Hope all is well D!
yeh…i was thinking about d*stroy too! i miss his funny comments. wait! i wonder if his wife had the baby??!!! come back d*stroy after you get done being a husband & father and sh*t…
I love Carl Thomas’ voice!