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Eternal Sunshine of Carl Thomas to the Future

It’s Friday.

One of my favorite movies of all time is Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Everybody’s had a person in their life that they wish could have be erased from memory. This movie depicted this concept and theory flawlessly to me.

Not to mention, you get Kirsten Dunst in her undies for a good segment of the movie. Not that I find her particularly attractive, but whatever. Skin is skin. Unless said skin belongs to Grace Jones or Angela Lansbury, in which case, you can have it.

Carl Thomas also felt this way and did his best impression of a person who could sing in his first single, “I Wish I Never Met Her”. And despite the fact that Carl Thomas sounds like ass vocally, the sentiments are quite apropos. Been there done that. Wish I never did what I done done. Like Shawty Lo, except spelled “dun dun”.

Thing is, I have maybe one person that I wished I’d never met. Hell, I’m pretty sure I told her at some point. But there was no crying for her Argentina. Truth is, though I wished I’d never met her, in some way, she helped to contribute to the sexxy beast that I am today. So perhaps wishing I never met somebody is a bit extreme.

However…there are definitely SITUATIONS that in retrospect I wish I would have changed. Hell, if I had my current wisdom I wouldn’t have made many of the mistakes I made early on. Like the time I knew my ex had cheated on me but I chose to “not believe it”. If I had the chance to go back, I’d have just dropped her ass that day I figured it out instead of hanging around for more months of insane boredom and inexperienced domegame. Sh*t, I could have had a V8. Because of that chick I ended up passing up a chance to have my way with Beyonce before she met Jay. And that’s not true at all, however it made for a better story than it started out as.

For the hell of it: Butteryfly Effect.

So, good people of VSB.com in the Kingdom of Smartness, what would you do differently? Any blemishes from the past that you’d like to Proactiv away or decisions that probably just weren’t so hot that your current wisdom wouldn’t let happen even if Mel Gibson was directing your life’s story?

-VSB P

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Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • http://www.singleblackmale.net Single Black Male

    After reading this, one person pops into mind. Its like you know its pointless, you know its all a waste of time, but you just hope its gonna rebound like a bad stock or the dead fish I had when I was 10 thinking “its just sleeping”.

    But on the same note, she helped to learn what to avoid. I shed no tears for her (please … me cry!) … but I did call in sick to work one day. And that day … I will never get back.

    Anyways, to end on a introspective note … she taught me something. And ever since her … I have made better choices, and wouldn’t have been able to without her. I would say thank you, but … f*ck that hoe!

    • Leila

      “I would say thank you, but … f*ck that hoe!”

      Another T-Shirt?

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        yes

        • http://www.singleblackmale.net Single Black Male

          Your right … but I’m gonna keep the rights to this one. Claiming it now!

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            It’s a good one to claim. Keep bangin’.

            • http://www.myspace.com/donteacia Teacia

              “I would say thank you, but … f*ck that hoe!”

              Priceless…lol.

            • http://www.singleblackmale.net Single Black Male

              I think “F*ck that B*tch” might work out better … but that b* word can open all kinds of untold troubles (hence the reason for the “self censoring” in the original comment).

          • genius khan

            i would wear this on a t-shirt SBM. not around my dad though.

            i’m feeling ur claim SBM fo sho. ayo, if i got anything out here anybody wanna use for commercial purposes…….

            i’m just saying you’d rather play wit me than against me. hear me now believe me later.

        • Wise Diva

          I want to apply for the position, Director of T-Shirt Operations. When are you going to advertise the job announcement?

          • Intellectual Hedonist

            @ wise~can I be your assistant?

            • Wise Diva

              you sure can! and I promise not to make you walk across the George Washington bridge for cheesecake or anything either

            • Intellectual Hedonist

              I just enjoy wielding other people’s power. I’m so passive aggressive…lol!

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            “I want to apply for the position, Director of T-Shirt Operations. When are you going to advertise the job announcement?”

            its on craigslist already

  • http://lizburr.com Liz

    I definitely have a few people i wish I had never met at all, and a few times i wish I just woulda let my curiosity ride. I just think I would have been happier being naive.

  • http://www.myspace.com/bbgirl180 Tay

    Yes, I definitely have one person in mind that I wish I NEVER met and wasted a year on.

    But then I think about it and I realized that he helped me discover what to avoid so in a way, I guess it is a good thing that I met that country a** bamma.

    I do wish I had handled the situation differently but you know hindsight is always 20/20.

  • aja

    O0O…Regrets rear their ugly heads…once again.

    There is one man i kinda wish i never met..but then again if i didnt i wouldnt have the most special thing in my life.

    So i guess you cant go back and change things without affecting something else.
    But the good thing is..you learn from your mistakes and know what NOT to do next time.. ;)

    Life is a learning process..we all go thru it.

    • Monnie

      “But the good thing is..you learn from your mistakes and know what NOT to do next time.”

      The smart ones learn. Then there is the group of people that keep doing the same thing over and over hoping to get a different experience/result.

      • http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

        the definition of insanity!

  • http://www.thekillacal.com The Killa

    I hate to be one of “those guys” but everyone I’ve encountered has taught me about myself in good and bad ways….I’ve learned from them and though my experiences haven’t always been good and some chicks are cold hearted wenches from the depths of hell who turn kind hearted mild mannered Clark Kent types into the Victor Von Doom’s of the world I wouldn’t want to erase any of them at all….

    now photoshop…that’s another matter entirely!

    • aja

      see women like that make me angry..and it makes it harder for the “real women” to find a good man..whos not jaded by the “cold hearted wenches from the depths of hell”

      thats just extra baggage we have to deal with on top of everything else.
      Sometimes you have to have a fresh pair of eyes when looking for someone new, and keeping in mind that every woman will not be that way.

      MESSAGE!

      • Monnie

        “MESSAGE!”

        *chuckles*

        I can see Keenan Wayan now…

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          Ya know, Don’t Be A Menace is actually one of my favorite movies too.

          I even think its funnier than Friday.

          • Monnie

            I find that few people admit to liking it… My mom likes it too and she rarely likes movies (especially hood one.)

            My one of my favorite parts was Bernie Mac:
            “I hate the back of Forrest Whitaker’s neck, ugh!”

          • ForReal

            I always hesitate to say this out loud, but i don’t even really care that much for Friday. The few people I’ve told act like I just spit in their momma’s eye.

            • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

              “I always hesitate to say this out loud, but i don’t even really care that much for Friday. The few people I’ve told act like I just spit in their momma’s eye.”

              **volunteer work**

            • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

              @ For Real…thank you! when Friday came out me and my girl were the only 2 black women in the theatre NOT laughing. i just didn’t ‘get it’. oh well…

            • don giovanni

              finally!! it’s not that there wasn’t anything funny about it, because the whole premise of the movie was insanely hilarious and the fact that it achieved such popularity was extremely comical!! i can say this proudly, “since the movie came out for home veiwing pleasures, i have owned the dvd in an unopened case with the plastic wrap and best buy sticker still affixed to it!!” if only i could find that damn receipt!!

          • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

            I think “Friday” was hysterically funny in the beginning and middle. The lines alone that are used to this day is proof of its hilarity and Chris Tucker’s remarkable comedic timing (at that point in his career), with assist from the other actors.

            I just think it went downhill towards the end once they was hiding out from Big Worm, sneaking in Debo’s spot, and the ill-fated attempt at social commentary about Nia Long’s sister being abused by Debo. It wasn’t funny no more once all that went down.

            Overall though, it’s still CLASSIC!!

      • http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

        ain’t that the truth! I don’t make the next man pay for the sins of the last man, but I find myself being held accountable for past f*ckery that I didn’t even commit…eventually thier inability to let that old ish go, causes major issues…and unltimately…”rock kicking”

        • don giovanni

          are you sure about that?? i mean, you can try but no one is completely baggageless!! it does carry over whether we would like to believe it or not!!

          • http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

            I am not saying I am baggage less… I am just saying I pack light… I don’t believe for a second that all men should be painted with the same brush… I am a good woman and I refuse to believe that there aren’t good men out there… I can’t be the only one left, that’s crazy! I am a male advocate… so just because the last one did some dirt, doesn’t mean the next one will…you know?

            • don giovanni

              i understand your theory, but its hard for people to put into practice seeing that with each failed relationship brings emotional scars that cause people to try and keep from getting hurt again, bringing about more scars!! its something on a subconscious level that we do!! we can all claim to be impervious to it, but we aren’t!!

            • http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

              I COMPLETELY agree with you DG…we all fall short, but putting forth a concerted effort to make a change in yourself and how you handle disappointment, hurt, etc, can change your perspective…and thusly your reaction…maybe my language seems to paint this as an easy undertaking, be assured, this is a daily conscious effort on my part… I apply it to my whole life, not just romantic dynamics…but when I get upset or feel hurt, I take a second to figure out WHY I am really upset and WHO I am really mad at… a little goes a long way, and I am not by any means saying that I never fall short of my goal to handle each person on their own merits, I am told I do very well ith making it a reality…I try to learn my role in the good, bad, and the ugly from the past and not repeat it in the future…I can’t control what others do, only how I handle it…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “now photoshop…that’s another matter entirely!”

      this made me choke on my pink grapefruit and grits

      • JBoogie

        sounds good…hope my kiwi and oatmeal will be as tasty…

    • Intellectual Hedonist

      Isn’t that what “It’s a Wonderful Life” is about sans “cold hearted wenches from the depths of hell who turn kind hearted mild mannered Clark Kent types into the Victor Von Doom’s of the world”

  • Don Giovanni

    man, where do i begin to start!! there have been plenty of times where i have wished that i could hit the rewind button on the remote as in click, but i have to say that in each situation i learned a lot more about myself, of what it meant to be a man and stand my grounds in regards to what i will and won’t settle for, and ultimately what i want out of life! i learned through one situation that everything that glitters isn’t gold! a lovely, intelligent young woman crossed my path and although we spent what seemed to be a beautiful considerable amount of time involved in what i thought was something meaningful, it was hell during the breakup!! of course it was my fault but i was never totally in the wrong!! i seemed to be everything she ever wanted and never had, but i couldn’t get her out of her insecurities to push beyond my past and her’s! i spent so much of my time trying to win back her affections after she cheated on me that i missed out on several wonderful blessings that came my way!! plus, the woman before her was a complete psycho (a married cop, married to another cop) who ended up stalking and terrorizing us both until i just had to step away and let them just hash it out!!! tried to explain to my ex about the situation but the damage was done and there was nothing i could do!! i tried to hide the past situation from her instead of being open and honest about it and ended up ruining us!!

    plus, i wish i could go back and be more of an attentive lover to all of my past relationships! not in a sexual way (i got that down to a science), but more receptive to their issues instead of dismissing it as a problem that they had which didn’t concern me!!! at times i genuinely cared, but didn’t let it show because i was too busy being that tough and hard man with the steel exterior that was impenetrable, semi-emotionless!

    i also wish i could have done things a lot more differently in other aspects of my life such as building a better relationship with my family!! i love them to death, but growing up the only male in a family full of women, i always felt like an outcast and would somewhat excommunicated myself from them! i would have even tried to build a better relationship with my father instead of using him as a bidder, auctioning off my affections to him if the price was right!! i know he wasn’t a perfect man, but who is!!! i have a good relationship now with the majority of my family, but i can’t help but wonder if it would have been closer if i hadn’t taken the time and put aside my pride and reached out!!!

    i would have done exactly what was expected of me as far as education!! i’m extremely intelligent (an actual genius) but knew it and never pushed myself to excel!! i just did enough to get by and now it is taking its toll because the economical status of the world we live in is rapidly throwing me deeper into debt!! its not that i don’t make enough to survive, but i don’t make what i could have been making if only i had done what i needed to do in the first place! i played when i should have prepared and now i see that! if i had prepared myself first for the future ahead i could be playing even harder than i do now (not sure if that’s a good thing now that i think about it)!

    there are many things i’d take back! that last drink, those insensitive words, the immoral and unethical acts!! but would it make me the stronger person i am today who can stand before the world and testify that it didn’t kill me to suffer through the trials and tribulations that i brought unto myself?? was it not these things that made me grow up and grow into a wiser, more humble man who knows that defeat can only be dealt by the person who chose to give up rather than face the obstacles laid before him no matter how many times it took him to rise above those challenges?? i have to say it is so!! while many of these situations have been costly lessons learned (emotionally, physically, financially, etc.), i can jump up like antoine fisher and say that here i am, still i stand!! beaten, battered and bruised, but not broken!!

    • genius khan

      Giovanni da Don weeps: “i would have done exactly what was expected of me as far as education!! i’m extremely intelligent (an actual genius) but knew it and never pushed myself to excel!!”

      genius unexecuted is no more genius than an unlit lamp is a light in this world.

      there are many people with letters behind their names that work outside of their study or cant find work in their fields. there are many more still that do but live an unfullfilling existence. …and many with a degree make less than those who don’t have a degree. in fact, i know a lot of idiots with degrees.

      most people spend their lives in jobs they either hate of tolerate. they even convince themselves that they enjoy the work by emphasizing the positive details of their employment. they are fulfilling, perhaps out of pressing family necessity, their lower destiny. i for one am sick of disingenuous transactions with life.

      higher destiny means not doing what one was expected to do by society, peers or religion but following the dictates of one’s own heart. such a course often meant facing the resentment of others, condemnation as a social rebel, and even perhaps financial failure. don’t try this shit at home. it’s not for everybody.

      people who have chosen to take ”the hero’s journey” (or moira, a greek word) live according to their own values, which MAY share little or nothing in common with popular values. doing what one really wants to do is hard work, but it is more fulfilling than anything else can be. it is the ultimate key to personal happiness in the physical world. …again, don’t try this shit at home. everybody is not built for this. if you need to get in line with the rest of the drones then fall into the ranks.

      and still he weeps: “there are many things i’d take back! that last drink…

      i feel ya, it’s always that LAST drink that gotya all fucked up huh. the first 11 didn’t have shit to do with it.

      well at the end of your Dr. Phil moment you manned up nicely. u convinced yourself that you’re still alive, but are you just living? be alive man, not just living.

      • http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

        “genius unexecuted is no more genius than an unlit lamp is a light in this world.”

        I can already tell, your thoughts will be frequently conveyed in my pieces…like you put your mouth on my mind and kissed…now your words speak through me!

        but I digress…

        we are just as guilty for allowing the folks that we “Carl Thomas” to impede our judgement as they are for taking advantage of the allowance…

        “do you really want to win, or just look good losing?” Phonte’, LB

        • http://www.myspace.com/donteacia Teacia

          “I can already tell, your thoughts will be frequently conveyed in my pieces…like you put your mouth on my mind and kissed…now your words speak through me!”

          daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn, now that’s hot!

          • http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

            thanks TEESH!

          • genius khan

            yeah Teeesh,

            it was pretty fresh. good ol GOODENess, gracious, God Almighty, JC.

            a real life Jill Badu Chrisette Scott Jr. IV and shit.

            • http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

              I LOVE THAT!!! one of the best compliments I’ve gotten to date!

              (mocking you playfully)

              hug yourself!

      • don giovanni

        trust me….my motto is that i don’t merely want to exist in this world, I want to live!! I live without boundaries and always with one foot off the ground (especially during those damn field sobriety tests) ready to leap from one interesting experience to another!!

      • don giovanni

        and as far as the education and the career, i teach high school math and love every minute of it, even the hardships because when i see the faces on a student in my calculus class when that light bulb goes off and they finally get it, absolutely worth it!! but i wish that i would have not taken the break that i did while in school because now to retire i have to do four extra years than what i would have done if i didn’t take those years off in school trying to run after the short money that left me as soon as i got it!! Could have retired at exactly 50 instead of 54!!

        plus, i write!! short stories and novellas mostly, but i am working on two works which are novel sized!! and starting my own publishing house to self publish my books, as well as a few of the students i teach who have expressed how much they want to tell the story they have in their heads to the world and my mother’s cookbooks (a lifelong dream of hers, i’m gonna help her out)!!

        as far as the last drinks on those most memorable occasions?? the first cost me my love, for her death may have been a result of my habits; the second one, a six month suspension and time running around doing all these costly little things that were so time consuming and asinine; the third…nearly 10k and more time consuming, asinine projects !! never stating that i was drunk in the least bit, so whether 1 or 11 has absolutely nothing to do with it, it was the timing!! just shouldn’t have downed the last drink, whether it be one of many or the one and only, and immediately hopped into the car!!

    • Leila

      “the woman before her was a complete psycho (a married cop, married to another cop) who ended up stalking and terrorizing us both until i just had to step away and let them just hash it out!!!”

      Was she married when you were together?

      • don giovanni

        the cop?? yeah, she lied about that, her real name, and a few other things!!! when i found out, i ended it very quickly, which might be the reason she stalked the hell out of us (my ex and i)!! the cop was just a woman i met out and kicked it with for about 3 months until i found out that she was married, her name wasn’t Christie, and that she was a cop…i have a slight weakness for cops, teachers and lawyers!! They always get to me!!
        but once i met my ex, i really got rid of the rest of the trash that was accumulating in my life, and she was sitting on the curb like the rest of them….only she wouldn’t stay put!!

    • http://tiffanybbrown.com/ tiffany

      what is it with cops and stalking and abusive behavior? i’ve heard enough stories to make me never, ever, ever, ever date one.

      • http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

        I have heard that “code blue” and “blue shield” junk is TRILL! they are taught the basic tools for stalking, abusing etc, under the guise of needing to understand criminals to catch them…plus, when investigationg, you learn how the “perps” do what they do and where they messed up…(like watching CSI can help plan perfect felonius endeavors…) and then they cover up for each other…(sigh)

        • don giovanni

          that they do!! but i learned a few things as well!! and will have to use them sometime in the near future to test them out!!

      • http://www.myspace.com/Elendak Elenda

        @Tiffany. Cops are truly a different breed. They are overly agressive and in most cases abusive. I hate to sterotype but from my experiences, I have found it to be true.

        • don giovanni

          i did like the fact that she had her own handcuffs!! but when she clamped them down like she was making a real arrest, i started figuring it out!! slowly but surely, the pieces started coming together and i knew i didn’t want to play in her toy box anymore!!!

    • http://www.myspace.com/donteacia Teacia

      a little long-winded are we?

    • http://www.myspace.com/Elendak Elenda

      @Don. This was interesting. If you changed one of those things, you would be a totally different person.

      • don giovanni

        @el and teacia and none of you would have had your world brightened by my presence!! you gotta love it!!!

        p.s. ~~ the exclamation points are here to stay!!!! get used to them!!!

        • http://www.myspace.com/donteacia Teacia

          oh lawd, seriously Kas enough with the !!!! already…lol. *kisses*

          • don giovanni

            you know you love them…..and they love you!!! plus, its easier than finding the period on the keyboard of my phone!!

        • http://www.myspace.com/Elendak Elenda

          @Don. Didn’t I tell you last night not to put my nickname out there for the people of VSB to see. You might have tried me!!!! And you are your own reason you didn’t enjoy ET!!!!!

          I might still your exclamation trade mark!!!! You just started something!!!!!!!

    • http://myspace.com/Time4SumAkShone AkShone

      DG, I feel you on this…it’s like looking into the pieces of a shattered mirror and recognizing my face in various fragments.

      • http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

        AkShone…where you been baby!

        “pieces of a shattered mirror”

        imagery…poetic picture painting…

        • http://myspace.com/Time4SumAkShone AkShone

          Occupational needs have altered my frequency to contribute, but I have been reading printouts of the topics for my journey home on the train in the evenings.

          I’ve missed out on some great dialogue…on the bright side; I have made a few pretty girls smile by referring to my package as my “meat puppet”…that’s just the gift that keeps on giving…and for that I thank you.

          • http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

            my pleasure…and now, yours… :)

  • Don Giovanni

    my bad!! i think i went a little overboard on this one!! one too many shots of patron!!! but, uh, yeah!! regrets plenty and Damn glad i still did them all!!

    • Fly…

      You’re the only person I know of that refuses to use periods at the end of sentences.

      • http://www.myspace.com/donteacia Teacia

        yeah he’s all about the exclamation points…actually he’s ALWAYS been like that. good thing he’s not a teacher…oh wait…lol.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        However, the comma usage? Superb. and the exclamation point game?? Viciouso.

        • don giovanni

          exclamation points are your friends!! don’t be afraid to use them!!!

          • Intellectual Hedonist

            I find that I use ellipsis a lot and often times self edit so it won’t seem like I’m being too passive, I guess its my way of trailing off into silence…

            I like the exclamation points

            • don giovanni

              thanks!!! i’ll use them just for you!!!

    • http://www.myspace.com/Elendak Elenda

      @Don. Don’t blame it on the patron, that was in your heart.

      • genius khan

        that’s that homey the clown tanget he goes off on. it’s emotional he’s really feeling it. patron my ass. LMBAO!

        • don giovanni

          damn….you figured me out!!! HA HA HA!!

      • don giovanni

        you know something el!! the hell with you!! you know the hardships i went through last night, you and your non-ET watching behind being one of the two of them!! don’t take away my ability to blame it on the patron!!

        • http://www.myspace.com/Elendak Elenda

          @Don. You better chill with the nickname usage. I ain’t no killer but don’t test me!!!!

  • aja

    “plus, the woman before her was a complete psycho (a married cop, married to another cop) who ended up stalking and terrorizing us both until i just had to step away and let them just hash it out!!! tried to explain to my ex about the situation but the damage was done and there was nothing i could do!!”

    Sounds like a R.Kelly In The Closet pt. 232 LOL

    • don giovanni

      i got plenty of trapped in the closet stories, under the bed stories and sitting outside the bedroom window on the roof waiting for the husband/boyfriend to leave or go to sleep!! and never will i date someone on the 3rd floor or higher again!! That fall hurt like hell!!!!!

      • Intellectual Hedonist

        “never will i date someone on the 3rd floor or higher again!!”

        It seems to me maybe your issue might be a little displaced, how about you set your standards to never dating someone in a “relationship” then your issues with closets, bedroom windows, roofs, balconies, and other discreet hiding places wont be so much of an issue that is of course unless you move the coital ceremonies on to such places then well that is all you.

        Just sayin…

        • don giovanni

          well, i have definitely tried that, but it seems that some will lie (if given the opportunity), which puts me in the predicament of trying to figure out if its the truth or a lie!! i definitely commend the ones who are honest with me, i can then choose to involve myself with a closet scenario rather than having it thrust upon me!!

        • http://www.myspace.com/Elendak Elenda

          @Intellectual. Good observation and I concur. Don needs to stop dating people who are already involved.

  • Don Giovanni

    f*ck them all!!! especially the ones who couldn’t give head worth sh!t and even the ones that could!!

    • http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

      you were in an eff’d up situation AND there was “bad” head?? HELL NAH.. at least I can say that the whackest most Bobby Brown cats that I half way regret were grrrrrrreat in the sack! I am NOT about to put up with your shullbit AND have to tolerate less than adequate loving! BOOOOOOO!!!!

      • http://www.myspace.com/donteacia Teacia

        “BOOOOOO!!!”

        Lol…my sentiments exactly. If you’re not going to give head or even be bad at it, at the very least you gotta be representing in the relationship in other ways.

      • http://www.myspace.com/Elendak Elenda

        @Good. Say that! Seriously, show me a “bad” boyfriend and I’ll show you a good lover! Why the hell else would he still be around?

        • Intellectual Hedonist

          @ Elenda ~speak that truth

        • genius khan

          GOODENess said: “show me a bad boyfriend and i’ll show you a good lover.”

          yeah and you can wear that lil caveat on ur shirt to the next Oprah after the show reunion or pity party at Dr. Phil’s house. LMBAO!

        • http://blog-aroundharlem.com AroundHarlem.com

          LOL @ Elena and her good lover bad boyfriends ….. LOL.

      • don giovanni

        not saying that they weren’t a good f*ck, but the head game was all wrong!! i’m sitting there like “hey goddammit!! what did i tell you about them teeth?? this ain’t no carrot, ho!! use the lips and the tongue!!” i know i am a teacher, but why am i supposed to teach her!!

        • http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

          NO WAY! as a teacher you should know that the grading crieteria that qualifies one as a “good f*ck” is a “B” (84-89 of 100) or better…oral technique is at LEAST (or should be at least) 25pts of your total grade, which means with marginal mouth play you can’t get more than an 80-83! which is NOT a “B” and therefore, by definition renders one in-eligible to graduate from the class ANY CUM LAUDE!

          moral of the story!

          I honestly don’t think you can be labeled a good f*ck with un-good head! (shrugging) I’m just saying… lol

          • don giovanni

            oral pleasures and sex are on two different rubrics because i may not want to have sex with you, but you can give me head or i might want to kiss you a little later and since i just got finished playing ball with the guys, i’ll just have sex tonight!! but then again, there are times when both have been had or none at all!!

            and, uh, we down here in the backwoods of GA have adopted the scale of 90-100=A, 80-89=B, etc.!! the hardest thing to make is a D!! its just a 70!!

            • http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

              nah… I was speaking on the +/- scale… 80-83=B-, 84-86=B+, and 87-89=B+… lol… but I feel you…

              And that is not to say that head is a mandatory occurance during sex…just thaat you can’t get full credit as a “good f*ck” until I have had a sample… ya know? I have had GREAT SEX and didn’t get the mouth, but GREAT SEX is a VERB…GOOD F*CK is a NOUN… lol… and really…what man wouldn’t love some bomb @ss head after a pick up game at the gym? (I’m just saying)

            • genius khan

              Goody: “…and really…what man wouldn’t love some bomb @ss head after a pick up game at the gym? (I’m just saying)”

              i would. i mean i do. thats a good time to get it in. im conditioned, a lil tired, muscles warmed up, pheremones shaken not stirred, nuts salty. you gon get it now girl.

              i have had friends come over after a game or when i’m in the yard cutting grass and they were thoroughly turned out and creamy. no shower, nothing, just beast like. incredible hulking there asses. whoa lemme relax here a minute.

            • http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

              I repeat…are you SURE you don’t know me in real life??? REALLY???

            • don giovanni

              @ good…i’ve had and get it plenty regularly!! i have no problem smashing that, shower or no shower!! just when you give me head and my nuts are as salty as Planter’s…don’t come kissing me!! maybe after a listerine gargle or something, but i have to keep it down on the salt intake!! blood pressure is kinda high!!

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “this ain’t no carrot!!”

          if you add a comma and “ho” to the end of that, it would make for another great t-shirt

          • http://www.myspace.com/Elendak Elenda

            @Champ. You are killing me with editing these phrases to make them t-shirt worthy. I need a female version of that one though.

  • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

    People aren’t regrets or mistakes in my opinion. I hate to get all Hayhouse up and through…but the people you hate the most often mirror things in yourself you wish to change. That doesn’t mean you should go all half on a baby/condo/french fries wit they azz, but its also a reflection of potential opportunities for growth.

    The THING I wish I could change the most is all this regular school non-sense I had to do. I don’t regret it persay. But what would my life have been like if I had actually WENT to NYU Tisch (filmschool). I did do a little somethin somethin at Columbia for a semester. But I think my life would have been totally different had I moved to NY to live for 3 or 4 years.

    But I think overall nothing is tragically inevitable (shout out to my girl Lalah for the song)…its like what was meant to be in essence already IS.