Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Theory & Essay

email of the week: male stock options

soon to be former mayor kilpatrick with christine beatty, the patron saint of light-skinned points

soon to be former mayor kilpatrick with mistress christine beatty, the patron saint of light-skinned points

i received this email a couple of weeks ago from ashley “the fireman” johnson (aka “hood bradley“), a friend of vsb.com

IS THERE A FAITHFUL POLITICIAN OUT THERE…ANYWHERE?

If we just go w/ the big scandals…we first heard about JFK and Marilyn, then Bill and Monica, most recently Elliot Spitzer and the Miami pro, now John Edwards.

(Oh, and lets not forget Thomas J. and Sally Hemmings — who started it ALL…)

What is it w/ these fellas and their inability to stay faithful. The power? The prestige? The young, fresh intern-quality @$$ just lying around D.C.?

And what is is about their wives, who be standing right next to ‘em at the “blow up ya’ spot press conference”?

Lastly…Barack. Will he fall victim too, if he assumes the throne? ‘Cause you can imagine that Michelle would box-cutter that playa.

ashley could have very easily substituted powerful/popular man for “politician” in the title, and the theme would have remained the same. as reluctant as i am to admit that any particular gender has the edge in the cheating sweepstakes, history has shown us that men with elevated social status seem to be more likely to sidestep faithfulness and monogamy more than anyone else.

from the theory that the type of competitive and borderline compulsive personalities that high achieving men typically possess usually extends to the way they view the opposite sex to the fact that this same hyper-assertion and aggression is an aphrodisiac for many women, there are myraid possible reasons for this dynamic…but maybe chris rock is right. maybe we’re truly only as faithful as our options.

as much as i love to get on my ivory tower and bray about the fundamental selfishness and weakness exhibited in habitual cheating, maybe every guy (including the champ), regardless of how moral they claim to be, has a “breaking point”, a p**sy point of no return. maybe the only thing separating me from kwame kilpatrick (other than the fact that i would have at least picked a chick who didn’t look like the mulatto version of bea arthur) is that i just haven’t reached mine…yet.

honestly, i’m stumped. people of vsb.com, how would you answer ashley’s questions?

—the champ

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

    Firstly, Kwame’s mistress looks like Cruella Deville from 101 Dalmatians. She got them SHARP features!!

    And yes, Michelle would “cut a b*tch” if they touch Barack. Don’t let the classy fool you. (DOLPHINS STAND UP!! Michelle and I went to the same high school).

    • http://thebeautifulstruggler.com Sister Toldja

      And me!

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “And me!”

        you’ll “cut a b*tch” too?

    • KindredSmile

      Me too! Dolphins unite!

    • Intellectual Hedonist

      LMAO!

      So the day after future President Obama delivered his acceptance speech I was talking to one of my girls and jokingly said “makes me want to intern at the white house just so I can have an affair” my girl got all quiet and said, “b*tch I will cut you” I was like Dayum!

      Then we got into the conversation about how we are sure there are women that cannot wait til he gets in to try to sidle up to him and give him the business. Power is a powerful thing **confused look on my face**

    • http://www.myspace.com/wudaman19 WuDaMan

      Where did yall go Chicago’s Whitney Young? Yall killin me.

      • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

        YOU KNO IT, WuDa!!

        • http://www.myspace.com/wudaman19 WuDaMan

          I had some friends who went there. **two thumbs up**

  • http://thebeautifulstruggler.com Sister Toldja

    I think the inability of men to stay faithful reveals who is the true “weaker” sex. I also think society grants men too many passes. And within the confines of Negronia, we celebrate the player culture so much that even wives and girlfriends have been heard complaining that “jump-offs need to know their role”. It’s like a given with us.

    Not me.

    • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

      I also think when you add power and money to the already permissive culture these men develop a God complex. They arent being sloppy they dont give a sh!t. They control so much and so many people fall at their feet that they start to feel above the rules and laws of society.

    • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

      “And within the confines of Negronia, we celebrate the player culture so much that even wives and girlfriends have been heard complaining that “jump-offs need to know their role”. It’s like a given with us.

      Not me.”

      Nor me…

    • sisanda

      “who is the true “weaker” sex.”

      If by weaker you refer to the inability to stay faithful whilst in the confinements of a relationship (for guys i.e. sex with added obligations such as listening, remembering B-days, pulling down the toilet seat, going down on her, calling her, asking her what’s wrong when she seems to be crieng etc.)….i don’t think we can argue with tthat, aren’t you a genius.

    • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant

      what defines weakness differs from person to person and can be attributed to both sides of the argument. Is the man weak for giving in to who knows how much pu$$ being tossed his way..,is his wife weak for standing with him…is the mistress weak for even being a mistress…there is weakness from every angle if you wanna take that road.

      • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

        what defines weakness differs from person to person and can be attributed to both sides of the argument. Is the man weak for giving in to who knows how much pu$$ being tossed his way..,is his wife weak for standing with him…is the mistress weak for even being a mistress…there is weakness from every angle if you wanna take that road.

        that’s the real-est sh1t eer typed right there! when the betrayed wife stands by her man, is she weak for not being strong enough to leave? or if she leaves, is she being weak for not being strong enough to stay? The JO is weak for falling for the okee doke that led her to bed someone else’s man? or is she strong for recognizing that if she could take him, he never belonged to anyone?
        With the exception of the dishonesty involved (which we are all agreed is some weak punk type sh1t) the entire premise of cheating is a gray area when it comes to who is preying on whom…deep sh1t!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “I think the inability of men to stay faithful reveals who is the true “weaker” sex.”

      inability to stay faithful? are you referring to all men or just the type of men i referenced in the entry?

      • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant

        I think the inability of men to stay faithful reveals who is the true “weaker” sex

        This line is a blanket statement. It has no meaning and should be stricken from the record

        • http://thebeautifulstruggler.com Sister Toldja

          Because no one makes blanket statements on blogs, right?

          Champ- not ALL men, but the broke AND the powerful infidels! Yes.

          Yes there is a lot of weakness played out in affairs, but the brunt of it falls on the shoulders of the one who strays. If you are a mom (or dad) with three kids and a morgage, are you really weak for staying or making a decision to protect your kids and your lifestyle.

          • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

            If you are a mom (or dad) with three kids and a morgage, are you really weak for staying or making a decision to protect your kids and your lifestyle.

            Having grown up with a stayer? the answer to this is yes, you are weak for staying and the truth is its not about the mortgage or the kids its always purely selfish. I love my mom and dad to death but it took me a long time to get past the shyt my dad did to my mom. I remember the fights late at night, the women calling my dad’s phone, I really wish she would have left. She used to say all the time she did it for us? but really she did it for herself as do most women.

          • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant

            Lemme learns ya. I’ve never made a blanket statement. Everything I have said is 100% accurate. You can print my words in textbooks and hand them out to the seeds and young earths cause its The Truf. Thousands of years from now I will be considered one of the top thinkers of my era right up there with ODB.

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            “If you are a mom (or dad) with three kids and a morgage, are you really weak for staying or making a decision to protect your kids and your lifestyle.”

            absolutely. there is no excuse for a lack of self respect…if anything you have more of a responsibility to leave when you have kids. i mean, what exactly are you trying to teach them?? what does a little girl learn from a mother that stays in an unhealthy situation with an unfaithful man? what does a little boy learn from that mother about how women are to be treated?

            staying and making excuses is much easier (read: weaker) than having the courage to get up and go, kids and all, IMO

            • shay-d-lady

              I almost shed a tear… preach Shatani

            • JayBilal aka QCSports

              Shay D I can’t speak for your situation but you really have to consider the financial side of things. Check out this link about the financial effect of divorce on women http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/CollegeAndFamily/LoveAndMoney/GetRealMarriageIsABusiness.aspx. It’s really easy to say what your mom should have done and assume that everything would have worked out okay financially. But the numbers back up the fact the women who are divorced have a high rate of bankruptcy. Again I don’t know your situation but did your parents help pay for your colle, private school, summer programs, etc. that really benefited you in the long run. I don’t know if they did these things if it would outweigh the emotional stress but it is a major factor to consider.

              • shay-d-lady

                I can tell you this.. I slept with a light on until I was 21 years old, even today if I am asleep and my husband is on the phone talking loudly it wakes me up instantly, I love my husband to death but it took me so long to trust him and I still struggle with being too strong and not allowing him to take the lead. A child dosent know bankruptcy, a child dosent know about bad credit. These things can be easily repaired but the emotional distress and turmoil of constant fighting, (physically and mentally) can not be. A lot of the mental scars I developed from growing up with this, will be with me for life.

          • shay-d-lady

            I would also like to say I think many women dont understand what the true meaning of “strong enough to stay” means. Most marriages break up over financial difficulties, not infidelity. So a women will stay through that but when the money gets tight they leave. The vows state for richer or poorer, through sickness and health. Most men and women are not strong enough to stay through those types of tribulations. The minute the rent is late or someone is laid off and times get hard they bounce but if the money right and the bills paid they will stay and take the disrespect…..

    • laylah

      tell em! tell em!!

  • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

    First…Christine Beatty is not cute. I mean, she looks…old. Is she 60? If so, she’s aight. If she’s 40, she needs a deep chemical peel stat.

    Secondly…I think it is hard for anyone who has tail tossed at them on the regular to say no. Not impossible. Just hard. And powerful people – politicians, music, movie and sports stars, Djs, bartenders and door guys/girls, get a lot of tail tossed at them.

    I think powerful women cheat as much as powerful men do: Jackie O had rumored affairs. Eleanor Roosevelt had a rumored affair, a lesbian one, but an affair nonetheless. Men are just sometimes (often) dumb as hell and get caught. Prostitutes? IMing? Texting? Leaving a trail??? An intern with a big mouth???? Yeah…a woman would never slip like that.

    Hillary Clinton’s rumored lover ended up dead, a victim of an apparent suicide. That’s how we do.

    • http://www.Blog-AroundHarlem.com AroundHarlem.com

      LOL @ Hillary Clinton’s rumored lover ended up dead, a victim of an apparent suicide. That’s how we do.

      • miss t-lee

        Yep old Vince Foster, I remember that.

        • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant

          Billy used his presidential priveledge and had him offed like Deangelo on The Wire.

          • miss t-lee

            Yep. The Clintons have a more than a few questionable deaths of people who were once close to them.

            • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant

              Just like Avon Barksdale

            • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=73903598 Dom

              Dont forget Ron Brown

              • miss t-lee

                I did forget about him. This list just keeps going…lol

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “LOL @ Hillary Clinton’s rumored lover ended up dead, a victim of an apparent suicide. That’s how we do.”

        yeah…this made me laugh too. there’s a term some conservatives use to describe the numerous “unexplained” deaths people affiliated with the clintons: arkansaside

    • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

      lmao @ thats how we do! thats funny though, my girl was talkin about how men cant do nothin right…they cant lie right, cant cheat right. they just stupid! she had me ctfu with that….

    • JBoogie

      “Men are just sometimes (often) dumb as hell and get caught. Prostitutes? IMing? Texting? Leaving a trail??? An intern with a big mouth???? Yeah…a woman would never slip like that.”

      Co-signage…

      • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant

        women do it too. They arent without fault. Men just dont go around talking about how they got or are getting cheated on. Its along the same lines as talking about how you got sexually harassed by a woman at work.

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          its not that women dont do it…the idea is, women are smarter about it.

          • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant

            thats got nothing to do with it. You dont think men have the same intution that tells them when their girl is bangin someone else? A man just wont speak on it. He will just break up with the girl and say it didnt work out. Men bottle that stuff up and move on if they can. Its not often (in my experiece) that you see some dude whining about how his girl cheated on him. His friends will just tell him to man up and move on.

          • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

            “women are smarter about it.”

            and they have “dyck” points of no return. I find that once a woman cheats that relationship has been over a real long time and just needed a more “ceremonious” ending.

            women don’t like to end things generally. they wait until all the writing is on the wall, the next door neighbors wall, they done prayed to allah/buddah, traveled to tibet, fasted 29 days.

            cheating is one thing a man (who doesn’t want you but doesn’t anyone else to have you either) can’t forgive. And for a man who won’t go, sometimes the cheat is a woman’s last option for the final exit.

    • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

      I think powerful women cheat as much as powerful men do: Jackie O had rumored affairs.

      nah…I think that successful women don’t even get wrapped up in a committed relationship, therefore they don’t cheat cuz there is nothing to cheat on (a la Oprah)…I think more powerful men should adopt that practice, just stay single ni99a…then you ain’t cheating on anyone!! duh!

      • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant

        how many single men of power and promence (sp?) do you see out there? I think having a wife is part of the image of having power. There arent any Bruce Waynes in real life that I can think of.

        • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

          “Prominence”…lol…and good point DEV…I guess the whole illusion of stability is created within the context of the nuclear family and we want stable leaders, right?…adversely, female politicians are seen as “doing too much” when they have a family…because bein a wife, mother, and an effective policy maker is a hard row to ho3…I feel like this about Palin…toddlers don’t belong in the White House…they will color on the walls!

          • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant

            not justa toddler – a baby with down syndrome

            • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

              y’all are wrong. lol.

            • shay-d-lady

              not justa toddler – a baby with down syndrome
              The mother in me dosent understand how she can attempt to run a country when she has a small child with down sydrome. I would not be able to let someone else take primary responsiblity for my childs care….

              • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant

                From what I understand her husband is a stay at home dad so I guess it has been his thing to take care of the baby. Thats probly why she feels she can do this.

  • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

    I honestly dont know why men cheat but I have an idea of why women stay. A lot of women get caught up in the winning. What do they really have to win? thats not the point. The point is that some chick is trying to get in on the ninja whose papers you wrote in college, whose dirty draws you washed, the ninja that before you, was wearing flat front ankle beater dress pants and plaid shirts with ties. The ninja for whom you borrowed money from your mama and worked 2 jobs to support through college and while he was working that weak a$$ internship. Now you made it to the big leagues, getting your piece of the pie and some new chick wants to reap the benefits of your hard work (even though if you would have put that hard work into your own career you could have been happy and successful on your own). She has called the house, she pages him when she knows you are around etc. you have told her that she aint nothing but a side piece and you mighta had him once but I got him all the time so they stick around, through all the embarrassment and shame just to prove that he aint going nowhere and also they have brainwashed themselves into thinking that he-ll all men cheat so why trade in a trade show puppy for one of them joints from the bad news dog kennel…….

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      so are you one of the “stayers”?

      • Intellectual Hedonist

        I admit that I am, I am a stayer. Say what you will but I stayed when my SO was and infidel and later kicked him to the curb, only when I was no longer happy in the situation and honestly had outgrown him.

      • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

        I thought I could be a stayer…but I ain’t! I know that my love is unonditional but my trust and respect are not…so once you have f*cked my trust up…I get tired of looking over my shoulder, second guessing everything you say, and replaying every time you had to “work late” or “went out with the boys” trying to see if there was something I was missing…I am not willing to drive myself crazy (or catch a case) behind not narry ni99a…so I bounce like a rent check the day before payday!

        • Intellectual Hedonist

          “I get tired of looking over my shoulder, second guessing everything you say”

          this is what finally did me in too, and though I may say I would never do it again, Love is a strong drug and who is to say that I wouldn’t.

          • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

            “Love is a strong drug”

            Yes, Love is like crack. You’re walking around in a daze, you make no sense, you sometimes lose the ones you love b/c u forget how to act, and you can lose ur teeth (you know. when ur man’s mistress comes at u wrong and yall duke it out). It’s DANGEROUS out in them love streets.

        • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

          thought I could be a stayer…but I ain’t! I know that my love is unonditional but my trust and respect are not!!!
          Say that Shyt Goodness!! I am not going to let you turn me into a crazy biatch. I am not the jealous type, I dont trip about going out, your phone, etc however if you betray that trust I gotta bounce because I cant stay with you and still be me…. I would have to be eye spy private eye and thats not who I am

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          im so feelin this, goodie! it sounds bad, but i dont forgive. if i were to stay, i would make BOTH our lives miserable on some Movin Mountains ish…nah, i will spare myself such insanity.

          • shay-d-lady

            im so feelin this, goodie! it sounds bad, but i dont forgive
            I do forgive.. but that dosent mean I have to stay with you. I have no anger in my heart against any of my ex’s.. forgiving and learning from my past mistakes (a person only treats you as good as you make them so the bad relationships werent all their faults either) has made finding love with my husband that much sweeter…..queue the violins……

            • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

              WORD…I have been cheated on a few times… I forgive and move on…not instantly, of course, but I know I will block my blessings and make myself less happy in the future if I can’t grow through it…just let the sh1t go!

      • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

        so are you one of the “stayers”?
        No, but I come from a family of stayers..I have grown up watching my grown ass mother and aunts fist fight, break up, scream holler, cry time after time expecting their men to just straighten up to become something other than what they were. I got caught up in college and It was the one time in my life I can truly say I forgot who “I” was. I then became so hardcore zero tolerance against men I wasnt accepting even the tiniest mistake, for fear of ending up like all the other women in my fam. I think I am comfortably in the middle now.

        • 8th Wonder

          “I got caught up in college and It was the one time in my life I can truly say I forgot who “I” was. I then became so hardcore zero tolerance against men I wasnt accepting even the tiniest mistake, for fear of ending up like all the other women in my fam. I think I am comfortably in the middle now.”

          I FEEEEEEEL it.

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        nah, im not a stayer at all…i will be the first to tell you that i am not your “ride or die”….i have a low tolerance for drama and a reluctance to suffer even for a little bit. the pain allergy will make me walk it out.

        i remember talkin with some of my girls about cheating and they were really surprised that i had never cheated on a SO, not once. im a leaver, not a cheater….if im at the point that im considering cheating, then i left emotionally a long time ago anyway.

    • WestIndianArchie

      “even though if you would have put that hard work into your own career you could have been happy and successful on your own”

      ^^Key words – On your Own.

      Many, if not most, career successful black women are doing it by themselves.

      Stats don’t lie.

      What’s the point of having a big house and yard, if there’s no man to harass to mow it?

      • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

        “What’s the point of having a big house and yard, if there’s no man to harass to mow it?”

        This is why single women should buy condos.

        • miss t-lee

          This is exactly why I’m looking into a condo.
          I know how to do yardwork, but I’m not tryna do it myself, and I’m too cheap to pay a landscaper.

        • Lady B

          say it twice!

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          *high five and a wooohoo!*

          i love a good condo/townhouse…all the joys of home ownership without the messy yardwork.

      • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

        “What’s the point of having a big house and yard, if there’s no man to harass to mow it?”

        I guess so you can compromise your need to have a man mow said lawn at all costs apparently, your sanity, self-respect and such…just to say, I got a man, he may not be ALL mine but at least he mows the lawn.

        • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

          “I got a man, he may not be ALL mine but at least he mows the lawn.”

          sadly, there are women in the world right now sayin this ish and proud of it.

      • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

        has anyone ever heard of a “yard man” I mean come on… of course if I had a choice between being alone and being with a guy I loved that loved me back I would not chose to be alone.. but to chose to be with a guy that continuously degraded me, disrespected me, consistently takes me for granted.. Then I would be on my own, with a big house, and a yard man. I mean how can one argue women are the stronger sex if being dependant on someone to pay the bills and someone to mow the yard is keeping you in an unhealthy, unhappy relationship….

        • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

          girl my yard man got deported and I didn’t know what I was going to do! lol… I am on the fence now about another house or a warehouse downtown to fufill my home-ownership jones…LOL

  • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

    i am so hurt by “the mulatto version of bea arthur”!!! i mean seriously, i cant even form a coherent thought right now…choking on my midnight s’mores and sh*t!

    • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

      She does kinda look like a cafe au lait Maude. I mean Dorothy Zbornak. I mean Bea Arthur.

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        so mad, that not only do you know dorothy’s last name, but you know how to spell dorothy’s last name! LMAO

        • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

          i loves me some bea arthur

    • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

      “i am so hurt by “the mulatto version of bea arthur”!!! ”

      I spit out my Wild Pepsi Cherry Vanilla when I saw this. HOT MESS!!

      Umm… Bea Arthur’s voice made Barry White’s sound like a falsetto. Now THAT is how one “mans up”

      • shay

        “Now THAT is how one “mans up””

        i am so mad at you

        • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

          *innocently* What I do, Shay??

    • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

      “the mulatto version of bea arthur”

      man! Golden Girls was my joint! RIP Estelle Getty!

  • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

    Kilpatrick’s wife is very attractive. At some point when you get over the cheating you do question his level of taste. If you gonna sneak, do it with someone hotter and badder, don’t just half @ss wit the shyt.

    Other than that, i think if cheating was ever excusable at the political level-this kind of cheating might be it. Its never about the woman REALLY.

    He certainly left her hanging, i mean you’re losing your job AND you have compromised your family’s legacy. SO WHY NOT KEEP HER @ss!!! it won’t happen. Why??? cause it wasn’t about her. It was about the chase. The science of cheating really explores the adrenal high that a man can’t get anywhere else.

    • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

      “Kilpatrick’s wife is very attractive. At some point when you get over the cheating you do question his level of taste. If you gonna sneak, do it with someone hotter and badder, don’t just half @ss wit the shyt.”

      Agreed. lol. I mean, if you are gonna cheat, cheat with the Halle or Nia lookalike. Not THIS chick. If you are gonna potentially destroy your family, why go after some a$$ ANYBODY can get?

      • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

        i think she gave great text se@x, this is why I disconnected my shyt.

        • 8th Wonder

          LMAO!!!

        • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

          girl them TEXTUAL relationships will get you!

          • 8th Wonder

            texual seduuuctioooon, hayyyy!

            Sorry, I had a Snoop/James Brown moment.

          • shay

            glad im not alone on that one

      • http://www.Blog-AroundHarlem.com AroundHarlem.com

        “Kilpatrick’s wife is very attractive. At some point when you get over the cheating you do question his level of taste. If you gonna sneak, do it with someone hotter and badder, don’t just half @ss wit the shyt.”

        His wife was more attractive, but clearly he found the other woman more interesting.

        I have this theory that men date attractive women for the approval of others, but sometimes deep down inside they really like the not so cute chick who is clearly able to capture his “attention” too.

        • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

          “I have this theory that men date attractive women for the approval of others, but sometimes deep down inside they really like the not so cute chick who is clearly able to capture his “attention” too.”

          Naw every man wants an attractive woman who is witty and who can screw his brains out. And who can, preferably, whip him up a good meal. Doubt any guy thinks “let me find the not so cute chick who can keep my attention”. lol.

          After said cute chick stops screwing him as frequently as she used to or stops cooking or her wit turns to nagging, he may look elsewhere. And that elsewhere may just be an average chick who rides him like her life depends on it and sends him home with a hot plate.

          • sisanda

            “Naw every man wants an attractive woman who is witty and who can screw his brains out”
            “After said cute chick stops screwing him as frequently as she used to or stops cooking or her wit turns to nagging, he may look elsewhere.”

            Woman you speak my soul, that’s the truth right there!!!!

            Motto to the cute gals: Not only work harder on your head-game, develop stamina and sustainability, for everyones wellbeing.

            • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

              “develop stamina and sustainability, for everyones wellbeing.”

              ***mt. zion christian academy***

          • V Renee

            Didn’t Kilpatrick and Bea Arthur go to high school together? If so, that explains alot. They were probably banging then and continued the love affair. Or she was extra banging in high school, played him to the left and now he wanted to lay the pipe to show her what she missed out on.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            “Naw every man wants an attractive woman who is witty and who can screw his brains out. And who can, preferably, whip him up a good meal. Doubt any guy thinks “let me find the not so cute chick who can keep my attention”. lol.

            After said cute chick stops screwing him as frequently as she used to or stops cooking or her wit turns to nagging, he may look elsewhere. And that elsewhere may just be an average chick who rides him like her life depends on it and sends him home with a hot plate.”

            i can’t argue with any of this

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            “After said cute chick stops screwing him as frequently as she used to or stops cooking or her wit turns to nagging, he may look elsewhere. And that elsewhere may just be an average chick who rides him like her life depends on it and sends him home with a hot plate.”

            say word! dudes have told me that ugly girls are much less work too. they are appreciative of the attention you give them and they aim to please! where your fly chick will be like, you aint called me in two days! the ugly chick might be like, wow, two calls in a week?!?! men like isht to be easy…the less work the better and nothing is easier than a ugly jumpoff.

          • genius khan

            V dot says something like;

            ride me hard and send me home wit a hot plate.

            now i would wear this t-shirt if it were not for the thought that the funboys would become dellusional. …in which case i’d have to bust some craniums to the white meat. it wouldn’t be pretty.
            …but for the girls. hell yeah ride me like a show pony.

            heh, heh, heh (inhales) whooooooo!

        • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

          “but sometimes deep down inside they really like the not so cute chick who is clearly able to capture his “attention” too.”

          doubtful…I think my next door neighbor’s poodle (that is some kind of crazy mix), that don’t mean Im tryna hook up when I’m feeling frisky.

          I found some of the text transcripts floating around and she appealed to his nasty ghetto butt trollopness (workcited bscott). Soon after they had something in common, their secrets. I don’t think it got any deeper than that.

          if so, why isn’t he still with her? Men don’t risk their family’s name for “interesting” im sorry.

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            LOVE B Scott!!

        • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

          “I have this theory that men date attractive women for the approval of others, but sometimes deep down inside they really like the not so cute chick who is clearly able to capture his “attention” too.”

          I feel that…my brother’s best friend is in love with me! (he is 19, so it’s a non-issue) but he is always Duncan Hines-ing me…so one day I asked why he liked me so much…he said “because you are fuggin gorgeous but you have the personality of an ugly chick!” and I must say…I was impressed at his rationale…lol…just 10 years too late! LOL

        • Intellectual Hedonist

          “I have this theory that men date attractive women for the approval of others, but sometimes deep down inside they really like the not so cute chick who is clearly able to capture his “attention” too.”

          In my circle we call this “arm piece vs. side piece” (would you like a biscuit with that?)

    • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

      Cheating ain’t about looks or brains… (well depends on which brains ya talking about…. lol) , almost always the ‘mistress’ looks swamp-donkey-ish or real hellnawish, it is about something new or just that power or feeling of conquest….

      • http://threewaystotakeit.wordpress.com Slim Jackson

        I find that the less physically attractive a chick is to me, the more bold her sexual comments will be. With that being the case, it makes perfect sense that these politicians have extra-marital affairs…not that I think it’s ok. How is a man to resist something like “I’ll make your toes curl. I been wantin some of your peni colada since I saw you.” or “You wanna skeet ? Meet me in 1o minutes.”

        • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

          “How is a man to resist something like “I’ll make your toes curl. I been wantin some of your peni colada since I saw you.” or “You wanna skeet ? Meet me in 1o minutes.”

          So true. Back in the day, a guy I dumped for another guy (afterwards, he spent the better part of a year acting like he didn’t know me, lol) was in a bar. Being intoxicated my friend dared me to go to him and say something ‘dirty’. I, also intoxicated, took the bate. hey…$10 was on the line…I couldn’t turn it down.

          When I walked up, he looked at me like I had the plague. But when I said “I wanna see that big black stick (the cheesiest ish EVA)” he immediately said “when?”

          Spent the rest of the night calling me. And I thought he’d deleted my number. lol. I did not answer, just for the record.

          He also no longer looks in my direction.

          And, lastly, last year a guy I was dating didn’t want to leave the sports bar we were at until the game was over. I was ready to go so I whispered in his ear that I wanted to blow him. He drug me outta that bad boy. ;)

          • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant

            so, so wrong

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            did you actually blow him? cuz if not, thats effed up!

            • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

              Yes, I did. lol.

          • genius khan

            V dot said:

            “I whispered in his ear that I wanted to blow him. He drug me outta that bad boy.”

            and that bet sh*t was uncalled for. i see u like to play. mmm hmmm.

            …something 4 ur lil azzz.

            • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

              It was. But in my defense, we were inebriated.

        • http://vodkaandmilk.wordpress.com Vodka&Milk

          “You wanna skeet ? Meet me in 1o minutes.”

          I am ROFL at this! But it’s true what you said. It’s always the lesser attractive woman/man who is more bold sexually only because I guess they figure they have nothing else to offer. So they might as well be the biggest freaks so they can score. So sad.

          –Sasha Two Pistols

        • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

          You wanna skeet ? Meet me in 1o minutes.”

          this right here is damn near a marriage proposal in the hood!

          • Intellectual Hedonist

            dayum that means I am a true bigamist.

            • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

              ooooh, IH is you a hussy??? lol

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “You wanna skeet? Meet me in 1o minutes.”

          sidenote: this is the working title of bristol palin’s upcoming autobiography

          • miss t-lee

            lmao

          • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant

            i’d read it

          • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

            LMAO!! Champ, u KNO u ain’t right.

      • http://vodkaandmilk.wordpress.com Vodka&Milk

        I agree with what you said. I think cheating is about boosting that ego and kind of proving that you “still got it” or that you are invincible. Because if you assess most cheating cases, you will find the majority of the time they “mistress” is not more attractive than the wife/girlfriend. But they’re probably more of a freak though.

        –Sasha Two Pistols

      • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

        real hellnawish

        oh yeah…gonna assign that to a few folks!

    • JBoogie

      “Kilpatrick’s wife is very attractive. At some point when you get over the cheating you do question his level of taste. If you gonna sneak, do it with someone hotter and badder, don’t just half @ss wit the shyt.”

      I question this all the time. The side piece usually is NEVER as cute as the wife, which really makes you question the ninjas judgment. I ain’t met a WOMAN yet who cheated with a lesser man than what she already has…real talk.

      • miss t-lee

        I don’t think they are looking at physical attributes, just how easy the hole is for them to stick.

        • JBoogie

          and that’s the sad part…

      • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

        “I ain’t met a WOMAN yet who cheated with a lesser man than what she already has…real talk.”

        I don’t think I could ever be compelled to cheat, cause if Im thinking about someone else enough to want to leave, Its a wrap. Why go through all the drama. But if I was gonna cheat, Im going down in a blaze of glory, not a yugo.

    • genius khan

      Comeback, V dot and whomever else, men cheating is not always about trying to get a replacement for what you already have, or about who looks the best and pretty aint shit if it aint pretty inside, fat a$$ turns to flab, big titties turn to pancakes.

      …and yes women cheat with men who are not as physically attractive as their husbands and S.O’s. someone else said they didn’t earlier but thats just bullsh*t.

      some astute lady commenter mentioned that the woman who is not as pretty as the wife may have that better more pliable submissive attitude and she probably rides him until the cows cum home. when ur in a formal relationship their are so many real and contrived dynamics and responsibilities that much of the desire and appeal can be lost. i’m not trying to make cheating sound good but it is what it is.

      • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

        “yes women cheat with men who are not as physically attractive as their husbands and S.O’s. someone else said they didn’t earlier but thats just bullsh*t.”

        Will co-sign this. Know a chick who cheated on her husband with an unemployed dude who is less attractive than her husband.

        There is a lot that goes into cheating. And I wholeheartedly believe women are just as guilty as men on the cheating tip but don’t get caught as often. And to agree with another poster, men don’t go around telling everyone they got cheated on.

        • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant

          ” men don’t go around telling everyone they got cheated on.”

          its a matter of pride. most dudes would rather say they got beat up than they got cheated on.

        • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

          “men don’t go around telling everyone they got cheated on.”

          What’s crazy is that some women do wear the fact that they were cheated on as some kind of butter badge of honor. Wearing that ish on ur sleeve and carrying it with you is counterproductive. He came, he saw, and he conquered another wench. Go get a BANG of ur own.

          hehe. im just… serious. maybe. who knows?

      • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

        I agree too. I also think that in some instances cheating may be forgivable…but 10,000 texts, trips, and screwing later you’ve commenced a serious relationship. And she’s probably doing more to “keep him”. But at what costs.

        Now he’s lost everything so whatever they had wasn’t enough to “sustain” him.

        i also agree that women cheat too. but for obviously different reasons. I think many men check out of relationships very early on. And a woman will cheat just to statisfy really basic needs.

  • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

    . maybe we’re truly only as faithful as our options.

    This is totally not the case because in the majority of these cases the “other woman” is not extrodinarily attractive. Most times she is just a RN so to me its more about the power and high they get from the shameless adoration these chicks are showing and the extent that they are willing to go to show it….

    • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

      i agree. i also think that women need to be very careful with what men show us while they’re courting. I don’t think men just BAM start cheating. Liars are cheaters too. And she may have had some stars in her eyes over his mama/daddy and nem (family political connectedness).

      • http://vodkaandmilk.wordpress.com Vodka&Milk

        Mm hmm…preach! And something tells me that this probably isn’t the first time Kwame pulled something like this. It might just not have been when he was in the public eye like he is now.

        • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

          sure wasn’t I was kind of fascinated at the events that lead up to this text scandal and reportedly Mrs. Kilpatrick beat some chicks butt at the mayor’s mansion. Maybe they both deserve each other. But I know men just don’t come out the gate acting stupid.

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            thats absolutely true…the signs show themselves from the very beginning if youre paying attention.

    • genius khan

      Throws Shayd:

      “…to me its more about the power and high they get from the shameless adoration these chicks are showing and the extent that they are willing to go to show it….”

      yeah power can be an intoxicating and motivating force when it cums to cheating. i guess women have less of a taste for power but i can’t tell.

  • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

    The Champ says, “as reluctant as i am to admit that any particular gender has the edge in the cheating sweepstakes, history has shown us that men with elevated social status seem to be more likely to sidestep faithfulness and monogamy more than anyone else.”

    Women who stand something to lose are less likely to cheat, but I think that women cheat as much as men, they just don’t get caught.

    The coniving-ness of a woman is remarkable. The trickery is commendable, but I will call a chick out.

    I do the same thing with guys who pretentiously use their status/

    • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

      “Women who stand something to lose are less likely to cheat, but I think that women cheat as much as men, they just don’t get caught.”

      Agreed.

    • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

      Women who stand something to lose are less likely to cheat, but I think that women cheat as much as men, they just don’t get caught.

      But if they are less likely to cheat when they have something to lose, wouldnt that by default mean that they cheat less than men,since most women define “something to lose” objectively?

    • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

      Women who stand something to lose are less likely to cheat, but I think that women cheat as much as men, they just don’t get caught.

      **shouldaboughtahondafuhroshunda!!**

      • KindredSmile

        **shouldaboughtahondafuhroshunda!!**

        So…how are things going over there in the corner?

      • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

        **shouldaboughtahondafuhroshunda!!**

        If there was a corner FOR the corner, GOODENess would be in it. But if we enter any more corner dimensions, we gon get lost in some weird space-time continuum.

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          you know miss goodie got the roped off VIP section of the corner….i think youre on the list though luvvie!

    • WestIndianArchie

      They’re just as likely to cheat?

      I have to disagree my brother.

      Most women have been offered free !#@$ since she hit puberty. And it ain’t just obvious dance floor hollers, but insidious “friends” with ulterior motives.

      “Beset on all sides by the tyranny of evil men”

      When she gives in, she gives into something that is not only just physically invasive, but often times emotionally/mentally invasive.

      This is not to say that she’s “emo” over very Tom, Dick, and Harry – her internal world *can* be very disconnected to the antics of Jamal n’nem. But there is an inner dialogue, before the act, during the act, and undoubtedly after the act.

      And throw in the fact that a woman can never really be sure of her physical safety in the company of men, and throw in social conditioning…

      That has to be counter-balanced by the fact her toes curl, legs shake, and eyes roll back during the highest of the heights.

      So on the one hand she weighs the mere possibility of carnal bliss, and on the other hand she has to deal with the physical, mental, and emotional ramifications.

      For many, given the # of offers, she’s likely to say no, 99% of the time.

      Reverse the situation, put the man in the driver’s seat, and he does not hesistate.

      As a side note, most women do live in carnal abundance, but most men do not. And to add insult to injury, most women are only after the few men who do.

  • http://threewaystotakeit.wordpress.com Slim Jackson

    If Barack gets caught out there for sliding off, it’s a wrap for the world. Riots and flash floods. Simple as that. He’d also join the league of womanizing Presidents. They all had side bunz.

    As for the wives standing there a la Spitzer, they might as well stand by him one more time before they take half.

    I wrote about Kwame Kilpatrick a couple weeks back. His biggest downfall is that he was dumb enough to be a texting machine when it came to his indiscretions. He didn’t learn a damn thing from Kobe Bryant. He also didn’t recognize that all black politicians have a natural bullseye on their foreheads.

    http://slimjackson.wordpress.com/2008/08/19/how-text-messages-can-ruin-your-life/

    • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

      The texting thing is what got me? what the he!!.
      Did he not know the FBI can dump that ish?

      Leave no trail. Leave no trail.

      • miss t-lee

        “Leave no trail. Leave no trail.”

        This has been my mantra for years…lol

      • 8th Wonder

        And that should be common sense…sometimes I truly believe men TRY to get caught.

    • shay

      word up, memorize the number, dotn save it with a name in ur fone. dont keep or send any text messages. when you call, dont refer to me by name. this is why i no longer have my voice on my voicemail and i dont answer my phone for “Unavailable Caller,” lol

    • JBoogie

      I mean, basically. That ninja got made cocky thinking he couldn’t be touched…probably thought mama would use her influence to help him out if anything popped off.

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        i think what happened was that he thought he had a chick mesmerized by the dack (a common misconception)…it probably never crossed his mind that this chick would blow up his spot, he was in his own little world thinkin about how he put it on her so good she gone do whatever he says…

    • http://vodkaandmilk.wordpress.com Vodka&Milk

      But what made him even MORE dumb, is that he was using the CITY’S CELL PHONE to do his dirty texting. Fool, they have access to those records. I mean if you’re gonna be “sexting”, how bout you get a pre-paid phone or something they can’t trace. He was just stupid and careless, hell he might have wanted to get caught!

      -Sasha Two Pistols

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “I mean if you’re gonna be “sexting”, how bout you get a pre-paid phone or something they can’t trace. ”

        obviously, you haven’t seen season three of “the wire”, because those can be traced too.

        just ask avon

        • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant

          as long as there is no Lester Freamon or Prez around its cool

      • 8th Wonder

        Yeah, I’m sure he wishes he’d cranked dat boost mobile for all the trouble it ended up causing him.

        • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

          “Yeah, I’m sure he wishes he’d cranked dat boost mobile for all the trouble it ended up causing him.”

          Yeah and he wouldn’t have to answer the question “Where U at?” with “Under Bubba in Cellblock D”

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=73903598 Dom

        “Fool, they have access to those records. I mean if you’re gonna be “sexting”, how bout you get a pre-paid phone or something they can’t trace”

        Exactly! He was the mayor, so I know he knew any phone activity could be pulled as a public records request. The fact that he used his cell to text, so explicitly and frequently, has me thinking he did this on purpose. He must have been tryna get caught. I refuse to believe that anyone is that dumb.

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          maybe just exceedingly arrogant?

    • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

      Barack has too much to lose…If he gets caught cheating, there will never be another Black POTUS! There will be all kinds of mud-slinging and character asassination as a result of willy nily willy-ing!!

      • Intellectual Hedonist

        And what about MARTIN? didn’t he have a lot to loose yet and still the FBI got him on record talking dirty to some Hoo Ah! (threw in the New England Accent for ya)

        • miss t-lee

          True.

        • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

          true…but he was already gone when they came out with it…it was unspoken, though…I’m sure Coretta knew the deal! but that was different time…we free nah…we got options!

  • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

    and also Kwame’s mistress? Him looka lika man……

    • miss t-lee

      No you didn’t Ms. Swan up in here…lmao!!!!

    • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

      “and also Kwame’s mistress? Him looka lika man……”

      ***laughs unti she has a seizure/heart attack combo***

      the services for the GOOD one will be held at the Mount Zion Community Mosque-agog at 4.30pm CST! Instead of flower arrangements, the family asks that you make donations to the “This ni99a Was Ignit As Hell!!” Scholarship Fund