Pop Culture, Theory & Essay

Don’t You Forget About Me, Bro. Like For Reals.

Okay, I didn't watch it today, but it did make me think. Bro.When I did watch it.

Okay, I didn’t watch it today, but it did make me think. Bro.When I did watch it.

I’m pretty sure I’ve said on here before that Pitch Perfect is one of my absolute new favorite movies. It’s as much for the non-sensicalness of the movie as it is for the acapella singing. I’m here for acapella. It’s just that entertaining. Well, one of the main songs both covered and played in Pitch Perfect is Simple Minds, “Don’t You Forget About Me”, a song made super popular in America when it was played during both the open and closing credits of The Breakfast Club in 1985. Full confession: I never loved The Breakfast Club as much as I think I was supposed to. I know its considered the pre-eminent teen movie and all that jazz and I love John Hughes movies as much as the next guy, I just didn’t love it as much as I wanted to.

Switch up right quick.

Have you seen Pleasantville? It’s the movie featuring Seabiscuit‘s jockey and Elle Woods of Legally Blonde fame where they get transported into a black and white television show based on all around pleasantness. The high and low of every day is a perfect 72 degrees. Well Reese Witherspoon teaches everybody how to drop down and get their eagle on, and in turns lots of kids end up with a f*cking problem. <—-double entendre

The expansion of their lives turns them colored instead of black and white and turns the city on its head and all that jazz. I’m really not going to go into the plot because its irrelevant. Lil Tobey ends up managing to finagle his way back into his own regular world and his girlfriend in Pleasantville – she’s techni-colored – says to him before he leaves, “Don’t forget about me. Even if you never make it back here to visit…just…don’t forget about me.”

Le hmm.

After hearing that, and thinking about the song and how often I’ve heard some variation in movies and television…I wonder how much is that a real concern for people in relationships?

Like as you walk on by, do you worry about somebody you actually dated ever truly forgetting that you existed? Now, creep with me for a second.

In theory I get this wholesale. Nobody ever wants to not have mattered…or mattered to somebody so little to the point that a person they gave some, or any amount of time to would actually see right through them for lack of any genuine connection to a life once shared. But what is the real likelihood of this happening?

More full disclosure: There are women that I’ve dated for whom I cannot recall a last name to save my life. That was also over a decade ago and dated is a strong term. There isn’t a single woman that I’ve felt had any type of significant bearing in my life that I’d “forget”. To that end, it would be ridiculous to expect somebody I went on one date with 10 years ago to remember me and vice versa, but it always seems like these songs or statements are made to folks who hold a measurable level of significance. There are some women that have been in my life that I couldn’t forget if you gave me 50 years plus Alzheimer’s.

By the way, Alzheimer’s = Old Timer’s for those of you who actually didn’t realize it was a medical condition as opposed to just state of being.

But forget the other people, I also can’t remember ever feeling compelled to tell anybody, or ask them rather, not to forget about me. Seems a little selfish. Granted…again…nobody wants to be forgotten, nor does anybody want to think that something that they gave time, energy, and attention to was a forgettable experience, but how many people are really out here having long term, or significant forgettable experiences?

Which perhaps means that the definition of “forget” is altered. See, while there are lots of people that I will never forget for whatever contribution they’ve brought to my life, there are people for whom the details have become sketchy. I’m pretty good with birthdays. Correction: my phone is good with birthdays. And I can always remember where somebody is from. But the other things…favorite foods or movies, or what makes them laugh and tick…well that has, understandably I think, gone the way of the condor. And why wouldn’t it? Once you stop dating somebody, the details you used to get you from day to day become useless in your mental rolodex. Which, seems totally fair and normal. You become somebody that I used to know. There’s a reason that song was so huge…that idea makes so much sense. I definitely have people that I used to know in my life…but they’re all unforgettable like Nat King.

So it brings me back to the larger question, are people genuinely concerned about being forgotten by people they no longer date? Is this ever a real concern? And is it about the details or just being forgotten on some Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind type of stuff (one of my favorite movies of all time, ever)?

Just in case, I’m asking you not to forget about me. Please. Thank you.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. YOU AIN’T FORGET ALREADY DID YOU aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Since we’re here for the movies today, I’ve been given the opportunity to give away two (2) copies of Kevin Hart’s latest DVD, Let Me Explain, courtesy of CodeBlack Films. The film comes out today, October 15th,  in stores and online everywhere. But if you hate standing in line and want to test your luck for a free copy courtesy of VerySmartBrothas and Codeblack Flims, here’s what you have to do, be the first two folks on Twitter (sorry, I’m turning it into a Twitter promo) to tweet @verysmartbros the right answer to this question: What exactly was Kevin Hart trying to explain in this DVD? Add the hashtag #VSBLetMeExplain

KHart.Ocard.BD.skew.layers

 

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Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. He believes the children are our future and is waiting to find out if he is the 2nd most interesting man in the world.

  • iamnotakata

    I don’t really have nothing to add butterum I tweeted yall was I first or second? I really wasn’t trying to pay to see lil mans movie so…

    • BreezyX2

      Be glad you didn’t because it is not good…at all.

      • panamajackson

        ouch.

    • panamajackson

      I’ve yet to actually get on and check the Twitteratis. But i will and rest assured, the winners shall win. lol

  • Tx10inch

    Kevin Hart’s movie was only 1 of 2 I’ve ever walked out of tha theater on….and I was a fan! Dat negro mailed it in on that one. RHOH is hilarious tho….

    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

      He’s starting to become less and less humorous to me as he rehashes so much of his older material adding a few new tid bits here and there.

      • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

        I’m iffy on Kevin as well,he’s really dumbed down his material to stuff that’s easily meme’d or hashtagged

        • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

          He effectively killed “turn up” all on his own. I don’t much care but for too much slap stick humor. I enjoy subtlety more.

        • Todd

          Jesus Take The Wheel! :)

      • panamajackson

        Admittedly, I’ve never found him to be that funny. I actually thought he was at his best in Think Like A Man cuz he reigned some of the over-the-topness in. I mean he’s got classic materal in spots, but overall, not a huge fan.

    • panamajackson

      That bad huh? I hadn’t actually seent it.

  • Oshun

    It has never crossed my mind to be remembered, or rather not be forgotten. Once we are dunzo, you are forgotten forever. (With the exception of one person only). So I’ve always assumed it would be the same for them too.

    Kevin Hart really did a FANTASTIC job with let me explain. I laughed so hard and had tears rolling! I finds him funny, most times.

    • panamajackson

      So folks either LOVED or hated Let Me Explain it seems.
      And I’m with you, I’ve never really given much thought to being remembered or forgotten. But it apparently matters to some people.

  • nillalatte

    Define date. Anyways, once something is over, it’s over. There is usually a reason why things didn’t work, so why would it matter if so and so forgot my name? I’d be good with it. Just sayin.

    • panamajackson

      Fair point. And I agree…so why do folks get caught up in the concern about being forgotten then?

      • Val

        Because the older we get the more we realize how tiny we are in the universe. Being remembered is the only real proof that we were here and made an impact.

        • Yoles

          excellent concise summary Val…

          • Val

            :-)

  • Tx10inch

    As far as the topic goes…eh, I hope ALL my ex’s forget about me. They ex’s for a reason. Keeps tha drama down.

    • nillalatte

      Word. Speak on it Tx.

    • panamajackson

      Sounds rational.

  • http://tripsixes.com/ Trip

    If you learn to live in the moment it makes it that much harder to be forgotten. If it does happen, you’re off to better things anyway.

  • TheOtherJerome

    I think our Ex’s always forget us (Unless you both were involved in some talk show ist) Thats the nature of the ex. But would i want all my ex’s to remember the intimate details about me? Sure! I’m special aren’t I? :-)

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

      I just wanna be the thought in the back of her mind when she reflects on the best she had….

  • Val

    From what I’ve heard we never really forget anything. We just can’t recall most things. The brain is a complex organ. So, not to worry, PJ. You are in your exes brains, somewhere.

  • helga_g

    I dont need to be remembered by every guy I have dated I just hope one day to be an immortalised ex like all of Drake’s.

    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

      I also am trying to attain “Bria’s interlude” status with men who glance my direction at Whole Foods.

    • panamajackson

      That boy does love immortalizing a woman.

  • kidvideo

    Another good use of a Tears for Fears song in a film is ‘Head over Hills” from Donnie Darko sdtk…which, to me, is a “trippy” version of The Breakfast club.
    Anyway…
    I don’t have a facebook page so I don’t have to keep up with X’s…leave’ em in the past but savior the(good) memories.

    • Jay

      The Head Over Heels scene in Donnie Darko is epic. As far as Donnie Darko being similar to The Breakfast Club…. you need more people. A lot more. Aside from the fact that they both involve a high school and high school students, I’m unable to see a connection, like…at all.

      • kidvideo

        I was going the whole “high school angst…who am I” route…maybe I am forcing a square peg.

        • LMNOP

          I saw Donnie Darko once (with someone I was dating, and haven’t forgotten him or that we watched this weird movie, which he claimed was great) and I did not understand it at all. Breakfast Club is pretty simple and straight forward, kids get detention, talk, the end.

    • Rachmo

      I can’t even go into the bodyroll that occurred when I read this. I love love LOVE that song.