Lists, Theory & Essay

Don’t Date Her Dude: Chicks Men Think They Want Until They Actually Get One

Just notice the hand and pretend the rest of this woman isn't here. Avoid that hand. - VSB Management

While I think that there are really one four different types of women out there who read (it’s a post for another day, and particularly for a day when I feel like antagonizing all of you reading women out there), within those archetypes are myriad nuances of women, made up of varying interesting, fun, and sometimes annoying characteristics that we have all come to know and love.

So interestingly enough, men also have these lists of things we look for in women. Now, we rarely put these ideas to paper and thus into the karmic universal ethos that permeates our very being, but we do make mental notes of the kinds of women we think we’d like to date. Usually, we are wrong about these things. It’s part of the maturation process though so all learning is good learning, eh? Since I see so many of you of boob out there wondering just what kind of woman PJ3 is talking about and whether or not you fall into that category (some of you definitely will, like it or not), let’s delve.

Delving.

1. The feisty woman

You know her well. She’s the woman who gives it just as well as the fellas. She’s always got a snappy comeback and the cute attitude that makes her seem so attractive. She’s no non-sense. She’s got spunk, I believe is what the over 80 crowd calls it. In any argument she hangs like twelve Mandingos at a bar in Kenosha, Wisconsin. Here’s why we don’t really want to date these women. See, that attitude we find so cute upfront isn’t so cute once you realize it never goes away. It’s not just fun and games, it really is all attitude all the time. There’s no room in a relationship for two people who always have to have the last word. And this chick, is getting the last word. While the bedroom activities might be otherworldly, this chick has never met an argument she didn’t like having.  We all know that one of the characteristics mind find most admirable in a woman is having the ability to know when to shut the f*ck up. This chick…doesn’t know that. She’s good peoples though and can probably drink you under the table.

2. The flirt

I mean that’s how she got you right? She was warm and open and fun and touched your elbow. Thing is, this chick will get you in more fights than you ever wanted to be in, and some of it won’t actually be her fault. She’s genuinely a nice and friendly person. Thing is, her friendliness can always be seen as an opening. I should know, I’ve been accused of being the male version of this. Apparently all of this sexxiness gets construed often as “interested” attention. I don’t know what they talkin’ about though…in my head I be kickin’ ninjas down stairs. Anyway, dating the flirty woman sounds great because she’s got a great personality and because of this knows tons of people, but once again, there’s something a bit uncomfortable about dating a chick who knows every man that walks by. The mind is a terrible weapon. Plus, every night, you’ll have to fight to prove your love. That’s a lie. You’ll just be fighting because you dame won’t stop smiling at random balls.

3. The “cater to you” chick

All men think we want a woman who will cater to our needs. In fact, it seems ideal and exciting. Truth is, that gets old very quickly. See, when a chick spends all of her time catering to you, she’s not developing her own interests. Next thing you know she’s hopping around on one leg talking about liking whatever we like. Everything starts becoming about you or what you want to do. Indecisive women drive men nuts. But a woman who’s entire existence revolves around him is equally disturbing. By the way, if you meet a man who’s like that, run ladies. Trust me.

4. The Black power enthusiast

This mixed chick sounds great when you meet her and passion bleeds through he pores. Only problem is that one day, this light skint chick is going to question your Blackness, you are then going to question her gene pool and its recessive genes, and then you two will start fighting about who’s Blacker. There’s nothing like a chick who makes Paula Patton look like Grace Jones question your heart and dedication to your community. It’s kind of like a person who smokes cigarettes telling you that you smoke too much weed. If that makes sense to you, you smoke too much weed.

Those are four chicks that men think they want to date but they really don’t. Trust me. This is true. But ladies don’t fret, I want to hear from you. What are types of guys you all think you want until you date him? Tyrese? Ray J?

Good people of VSB, who have you thought you wanted to date until you actually did it? Speak to me, Petey.

-VSB P aka lower.case.p. aka VITAMIN P aka 40P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

P.S. This Ceelo album, The Lady Killers is one beautiful piece of art. You can stream the album here.

Filed Under:
Damon Young

Panama Jackson is a co-founder of VSB and co-author of Your Degrees Won't Keep You Warm At Night: The Very Smart Brothas Guide to Dating, Mating, and Fighting Crime. He believes the children are our future and is waiting to find out if he is the 2nd most interesting man in the world.

  • W!

    Wow.. I’ve known them all and dated them all… oh and first, maybe?

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      I knew Bush read VSB. I just knewed it.

      • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        Wow!

        Well, look who’s movin’ on up…

        • Steeler Steve

          So W! I always wanted to know…which category does Condi fall into? I peg her as a flirt ;-)

          • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

            Yeah, rumor has it that he’d know…

            *cackles*

  • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

    I know one thing, that lady in the post picture needs to use her inside voice.

    • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

      LMAO…I can’t stand that type of woman. I would like to think she doesn’t really exist. >_< <— that is me praying hard that she doesn't. lol

      • CPT Callamity

        Those women exist…in large numbers.

      • Enginegro

        they live at the DMV

        • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

          *snicker*

        • Mo-VSS

          They do live at the DMV…..

          And in any other establishment that is customer service oriented.

          • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

            You ain’t never lied. Why is always the LAST person that should be dealing with customers are the ones that…deal wtih customers. Uncanny, thy name is customer service hiring managers.

            • Enginegro

              I’m pretty sure its a big inside joke….then again i can understand how dealing with the stupidity of the general population on a daily basis can wear down a persons ability to not have an unnecessarily rude response to any question asked by a customer.

          • NightHawk1

            Almost a 100% AAAAAAAAAAAmen!!!!!!!

  • Inquisitive

    “By the way, if you meet a man who’s like that, run ladies. Trust me.”
    CO-SIGN

  • MzPW

    Oooh! Ok, my turn to add….

    Let’s see….linebackers. Sure, the great smiles, outgoing personalities, and size (hehe) may have you thinking that you’ve hit the jackpot. Yet, after the first few months are out of the way and the season is over, trying to have a conversation about….well, stuff you may find in a book is like trying to convince a Black woman to vote for McCain on purpose.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      or they might try to kill you. Ray Lewis.

    • Enginegro

      u need you a Dhani Jones

      • SweetMagnoliaBrown

        Mmmm, Dhani Jones…well, I used to mmmmm him until I found out he only likes racially ambiguous females.

        • GoatBeno

          Whats racially ambigious? pardon my juvenile…

  • Mari

    Surprised Kenosha even made it on someones blog. *shudders* I’d have to say “the flirt”. They are usually kind and considerate, courteous, talk to any and everybody. There’s nothing worse than a guy who knows EVERYbody. Pass.

    • E

      Co-sign on the Flirt!

      I dated a guy like that once. I’m def not the jealous type but he def made me feel some type of way when we we’d be walking together and damn near EVERY girl was stopping to give him a hug and be all cute and giggly…makes you wanna be borderline psycho girl like WHO THE HELL WAS THAT!!…..but then you can’t even do that cuz you can’t even say he did anything wrong besides just saying hi to a friend lol but good lawd does it make you paranoid at times lmao.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      i’ve been called a flirt numerous times. i cant help it that i smile and like talking to people. but to keep it gully, i generally just leave a convo abruptly never to be seen or heard of again.

      either that or i ususally pawn chicks off on my friends after i tire of the convo.

    • Mo-VSS

      Girl I am dating this dude now and let’s just say hoes are everywhere…and like I said before, apparently most of them live in his phone.

      They are nice folks, but take nice, good looking and nice body and you have a recipe for folks to stay thinking he’s interested in them. He’s not…he’s just genuinely not a dyck.

      I wish women would realize that….but they don’t. So I have to help them. No problem. Haven’t caught a case yet. CSI

      • keisha brown

        @Mo-VSS
        may the force (and someone handy with bail money) be with you. keep us posted! #upinyabidness ;)

  • tdixonspeaks

    To be fair, no woman wants to date the male equivalents of these women:
    The angry blk man, the Kappa, the mama’s boy and…the angrier black man.

    • YaleGent

      Correction, lots of women date Nupes. Well maybe not date (sly smile). I guess it depends on how you define date. :)

      • Mo-VSS

        I’m sorry YaleGent but ya boys have f-ked it up for everyone. I do not take any of you seriously…and why should I?

        I’m not dating, going out with, sexing, making smiley faces at, coughing in the direction of any nupes/kappas ever again in life.

        Y’all are some foul folk.

        Yes…there is bitterness there. LOL

        • KautiousNupe

          LMAO. Kappas are always thrown under the bus on this blog and I love it. I also find the jokes funny as I am not the type of person who takes things personally. I’ve also noticed that its always other greek dudes or chicks that we knocked down and played out in undergrad.

          Mo-VSS..please dont be bitter. The church teaches us to forgive! All Kappas arent the same. Forgiving the fraternity and hating the dude that has made you bitter is OK. LOL.

          And while I am here, I will say something about the chicks that we think we want to date..but dont really want to. The black panther type with the mulatto skin tone and features, they almost always angela davis type fros under their arms and on their vaginas. You can still believe in the struggle and still pick up a razor once a year boo boo. GEESH!

    • http://twitter.com/naimasmanifesto TheTalentedMs.Fiasco

      lmao @ The Kappa.

      I was just telling my friend about a guy I was hanging out with and he decided to add me on FB, but this is where I found out he was a Kappa…and a very very proud Kappa. -__- deal breaker and facebook seriously ruins lives!

      • http://www.thefriendraiser.com jenifer daniels

        no mo hatin on the Nupes ya’ll :-)

        and i am #1 all day – deal with it!

        • NicoleN

          ROFL I have a weakness for Nupes……they should definitely have a approach with caution sign though

          • YaleGent

            :)

    • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      LOL, I’m mad you said the Kappa. They stay taking shots from womens.

      • Medium Meech

        I KNOW… I thought women liked community service.

    • WIP

      Skip the Kappa, give me a Que-dog anyday

      • Yoles

        @ WIP
        Co-Sign

      • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem of the Ocean

        if you give me a Que-dog, i would be interested in other things besides “dating” him…. #imjustsayin

        • DG

          …sets owt a nasty @ss hop (in my office, mind you) @ this comment…

          • tnt_ftw

            hay, hay, hay boo! how you doing!? you can hop over here all day long…heehee

      • DG

        Say it again for the women in the back rows!! (loosens tie, slips on gold boots)

        • Perfect Square

          ooop-roo!

      • http://www.shesoflyy.com Muze

        ew, they bark and bite… outside of the bedroom. lol.

        ALPHAS. fine. intelligent. gorilla ‘beat my chest in the jungle’ instinct. that is all.

        • keisha brown

          i’d love someone one day to educate me on greek life. like what is the difference? why are certain personality characteristics associated with certain frats/sorors? im fascinated.
          please and thanks.

        • ComicBookGuy

          Finally, the Black and Gold get some love around here.

          • http://www.somethingaboutata.blogspot.com Muze

            yes. me loves an ice cold brotha. :-)

            • http://blogofthegentleman.blogspot.com Mike

              :)

      • KautiousNupe

        A lot of my close homies are Que dogs, so it’s 1911 love all day. But unfortunately, most of them only have associate degrees, beer bellys after undergrad and futons in their cribs. If you’re 35 and the only thing you have in your living room is a futon (which constantly slides off the frame when people sit on it, something aint right about that, LOL

        #Yea-I-Said-It.

        I aint scurred, lol.

        P.S. AKA’s are at the top of the list when it comes to greek chicks I would date because I like my women really feminine, girly and classy. I also think a chick in pearls with a nice head of REAL hair is soooo sexy.

        • YaleGent

          A lot of my close homies are Que dogs, so it’s 1911 love all day. But unfortunately, most of them only have associate degrees, beer bellys after undergrad and futons in their cribs. If you’re 35 and the only thing you have in your living room is a futon (which constantly slides off the frame when people sit on it, something aint right about that, LOL

          Ha HAAHHA HA this is so true

          • Syd

            That’s kinda messed up that yall are talkin shit about your supposed “homies” though….just sayin.

            • KautiousNupe

              They talk shit about me to Syd. Its all in good fun..I promise. ;-)

  • Really Son, really?

    The Choir Boy aka “I love Jesus AND I have a baby-mama”
    Goes to church several times a week, has the Bible on his armrest in the car, but for some reason has a child and has never been married to anybody, OnceTAgain, has never been married to anybody. Run ladies, RUN!

    • Alana

      Message!

    • Sav

      Church!

    • http://twitter.com/yonnie3000 Yonnie 3000

      I think we’ll call this one The Dwight Howard. Did ya’ll know he just had another baby?

      • http://twitter.com/s0_flyy So Flyy

        *Drowns my sorrows in some 151*

  • http://www.tessism.com Tessism

    I am the Sybil of this post. I have been each of these women at some point and all of them at same time more than once. I’m pretty sure what makes a woman a catch is her ability to be all things and whoever the heck she really is and you like it. I’m feisty and want someone to spar with who just dazzles the fight right outta me. I’m nice. I like people. I care. I don’t condone fighting over me for any frickin’ reason. I can manage the dudes on my own and the lines are clear. I need you to fight for my honor not because you’re insecure. And yes, I’ll cater to you if you spark that in me. You gotta spark it though and serve in the ways only you can. And I’m down for the cause but um I won’t question your Blackness if you don’t question mine. I think the danger here is the one-track woman who is a caricature of the dynamic human beings we really can be. One-trick pony’s can engage you for but so long…and that goes both ways.

    • http://www.tessism.com Tessism

      *ponies
      Ugh typos…#hurl!

      • Honey

        very well said

    • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

      I love this comment! It’s definitely a balance. I don’t know any woman who is one way all of the time. We’re all guilty of some of this at some point. You hit the nail on the head with being yourself.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “I don’t know any woman who is one way all of the time.’

        this depends on how you define “all of the time”. because, if you mean “60-75 percent of the time”, i definitely know a couple women (and men) who qualify

        • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

          Yeah, you’re right. I caught myself cause homegirl in the Starbucks window today almost caught a beat down.

          • JessicaL

            I thought I was the only one. My co-worker tried the hell out of me today. Is it try a b*tch today day?

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      i think thats the thing, if you’ve got SOME of all this in you its okay. its when you are so extremely one where the problem comes in.

    • http://www.tessism.com Tessism

      Thank y’all! *snaps sassily, flutters eyelashes, kowtows, and puts up a power fist…simultaneously*

    • NicoleN

      COMPLETE COSIGN!!!
      I kept reading like dag thats me well wait thats me too!!

    • Mr SoBo

      @Tessism
      Very well said. I totally agree.

      Simply put:
      Too much of one thing, is good for nothing.

    • http://www.somethingaboutata.blogspot.com Muze

      i’m glad i don’t have to leave this comment because you already did. good job. lol. i’ve been all of these. am all of these… lol. it’s all about balance.

      • http://www.tessism.com Tessism

        Thank y’all!

  • IsOurchildrenLearning?

    I’m the feisty chick…and nope, the attitude doesn’t go anywhere :-/
    anywho…4 dudes to avoid are
    1. The ninja with no friends
    At first it’s awesome because you automatically become his bestie. He thinks you’re the greatest and does everything with you. Soon that schtick becomes old as you realize that he has no damn friends because he’s either super lame or a crazy person. Seriously, what grown man makes it through life without any sort of a crew?

    2. The metrosexual fashion plate
    dope in the beginning since his fly matches yours (I can’t believe I just typed that, carrying on) but you’ll quickly tire of keeping up. His quest to be perfectly coiffed at all times will grate your nerves and lead you to question his sexuality. One dude really called me up before every outing to ask what I was wearing in order to coordinate. Aaaannnnd, this ninja knew every designer of every piece of clothing I ever wore (and I don’t do logos). No bueno

    3. Starving Artist
    These dudes are passionate and emotional but BROKE AS HELL AT ALL TIMES. Additionally, once you recover from penis haze you realize that he was starving cuz his “art” sucked.

    4.Super Shy Guy
    While endearing, extreme shyness is plain old crazy. Plus you can never have a good time out with this fool because he always looks like he wants to cry while at the club. Which bring me to……..

    5. Party Animal (I know I said 4 but I’m feisty and don’t follow directions)
    While this cat can hang with any crowd and ensures a good time unlike the shy guy, he often wants to be out too much, and dang it, I got ish to do in the morning. Party animals often spend too much money on revelry and have backwards priorities. Additionally, This guy often drinks too much and passes out in inappropriate places

    6. The guy with a YOU fetish
    Whether it be a body part, an accent, your race, whatever, NEVER date a guy who has a fetish for something you have. While his constant jockin will be a confidence booster at first it WILL get old and become plain old creepy. Having someone STARE at you while sitting next to you is scary, no matter who’s doing the looking. “I want to have sex with your hair” is a sentence that no woman should endure. A real relationship can’t evolve since he doesn’t care about you at all, just that one aspect that he has a weakness for. Thus, if another girl comes around with that same thing in greater portion…guess what? He’s on to the next one.

    • Michele

      cosign the Starving Artist.

      RUN

    • MsEsquire77

      @IsOurChildrenLearning? I loved this ENTIRE comment (and your name!) but this will stay with me for life: “I want to have sex with your hair.”…SERIOUSLY?! I’d punch a dude in his nose and run if he said that to me. I appreciate admiration but if I detect even a hint of serial killer that ain’t sexy.

      I’d also like to add uber-Mama’s boy to the list. It’s great when a man loves his mama, takes care of her needs, respects her opinion, etc. What’s not hot is when a grown-man has his mama cooking/cleaning for him like she’s his wife and/or he can’t make a decision without consulting her. The first part is creepy, the second part is just sad.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        i dont understand…whats wrong having love time with a chick’s hair? what’s the problem with this? lol

        • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

          Maybe if he’s obsessed with it so much, a lady would probably be afraid that some time in the distant future, she’d be putting lotion on its skin.

          • JessicaL

            Dead

      • LAnieanna

        my boyfriend has this thing for my nose, and my belly pooch.. he is always squeezin and pinchin on me….. *side-eye* Oh lawd.. what i”m posed to do?

        • WIP

          LOL, the thing i’m most self-concious about he loves to play with. Is it game?

      • It’sAStickySituation

        Hello VSB fam- Long time observer first time poster but this comment made me quit lurking.

        Sad to say but not only did I date the uber-Mama’s boy I married the fool. Actually still married to him after 10 years and he has not changed. To add insult to injury he is an only child. What the hell was I drinking when I said yes to that proposal??!!

        So take heed ladies. STAY FAR FAR AWAY FROM THIS TYPE OF MAN!!!

    • Mimi

      I am glad that I am not the only person who has met crazy a$$ men with some type of fetish.

      I once had a man tell me that he wanted me to j*rk him off with my feet.
      ::shudders in digust::

      Your hair fetish guy, his name wouldn’t happen to be “Leon”?

      • whykendra

        im at work trying hard not to fall out of chair laughing. but damn.

      • KautiousNupe

        Hey, Footjobs are safe sex! Its too many STD’s out here to be taking risks…

        Sike Naw, I’m just playing yall…lmao.

    • http://www.thefriendraiser.com jenifer daniels

      i dated a #2, he always had a two bedroom apt, one for him to sleep in, one for his clothes. that is my word.

    • Ms. Dija

      cosign on 2, 3, 4 and 5…

      Good list :)

    • WIP

      cosign all this

    • Alana

      You better quit with this response! Response is so on point!

    • Dee

      I knew a girl back in high school who dated a guy like number 2. She thought it was cool at first (hey, we were young). But eventually she realized that he was way too deep in her closet when he really needed to be coming out of his own.

    • Yoles

      @ IsOurchildrenLearning? I should have met you long ago… my ex-husband was #s 1, 3, 4, 6 and a slight # 2 at the same time…. I sure could have used that warning….

    • Quiet Storm

      Hello SMB crew. I usually on here reading and lmao at the comments, but I had to make one myself on this, and that is to say….I completely cosign. There is a guy that is trying to talk to me (yes, trying. im not feeling him like that) now that is a party animal that is somewhat metrosexual, who is a notorious flirt & gossip, and has a fetish for my natural hair and my voice. *yikes!* Reading this back I should make a usain bolt dash in the opposite direction.

      • Quiet Storm

        *VSB. My bad. I have to many work documents open with that acronym in them. I mean, who really does work? *Michael Jordan shrug*

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          what does SMB stand for?

          • Quiet Storm

            I dont even know. I should’ve looked it up (since it is not spelled out in the docs) but my curiosity is not peaked enough for me to find out. :-)

    • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem of the Ocean

      LOL very good list!!!! sadly, ive encountered ALL of these types of men. all of them in pittsburgh. i guess this city is diverse afterall #kanyeshrug

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “i guess this city is diverse afterall”

        this would look great on a “welcome to pittsburgh” brochure, or maybe even spray painted on mt. washington

    • http://www.somethingaboutata.blogspot.com Muze

      THIS!!!!!

      omg i have dated ALL of these men. some were more than one at once. i will NEVER date a fetish dude again. ever. not with my hair, my feet, my belly ring, my earlobe… nothing. no no no. lol.

      dude with no friends… never again. (they often have fetishes btw. lol)

      party animals i’ve never liked.

      i know a lot of starving artists, i was pretty much one the whole of last year, so it pains me to say this, but they are to be avoided. lol. those that stay “starving” aren’t necessarily so because their art sucks, but moreso because they lack the ambition and go-getterness necessary to provide food. and ambition is sexy. and ain’t no tuition (or muze) for having no ambition.

    • sunshyne84

      I had a few guys who were too into my liteskintedness. Very creepy. I guess they got turned down by a few, but I’m gon need you to not be so excited. It’s really not that serious. :/

    • Kethy-chan

      lol. Good list. What about the Challengin’ Bad Boy Ninja? He’s full of confidence, slightly arrogant, has a good job and a super body… but it’s always and ever only about him… talks your ear off for every single of his achievements (“My workout at the gym comprises of 450 push-ups and 2hrs runs on the treadmill, and I’m on a protein diet and….”)… He’s rude enough to keep you (the Fiesty woman that you are) both insulted and interested (“I wanna see just how far this guy can push this nonsense”)..

      (damn, that sounded like a personal rant…)

      Anyway, f@*#<~! Bad Boys !

    • Sunshine

      I cosign #1-6 (lol) but at the end of the day the worst guy is the one who has the audacity to be a combination of any of these numbers. Not to mention, I’d like to add that a #1 usually finds something else to be his friend (i.e. video games, computers, sports, etc.) to the point that you really have to question everything.

      Dated a guy who was a #1 and a #4… not fun at all because he hated going out due to being shy, yet still was at home all alone… with his video games. #fail Don’t even mention going out somewhere… he’d rather stay indoors not to be alone with me (romantic at times), but because he hated being around people. #wheretheydothatat

  • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem of the Ocean

    i was hoping i’d be some blend of whatever types of women listed in this post. in my mind i have enough variety in personality that i wasnt overbearing or boring a love-interest with the very traits he found so endearing in the beginning.

    sadly, i dont think ive ever been any “kind” of women besides the FEISTY woman. im constantly being told im feisty, sassy, have a smart mouth and that i always have to get the last word. and while i want to kick and scream and deny the claims, the truth is that i am all those things (and probably some more). *sigh*

    i’m trying to work on the not always having to have the last word. im a work in progress…

    • YaleGent

      I love this site because the black women here are, at least, intelligent and honest.

      • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem of the Ocean

        you’re welcome ;)

    • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

      I’m w/ u Gemmie. I’m firmly #1 if i had to pick 1. But I think I know when to quit. I think…

      • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem of the Ocean

        knowing when to quit isnt the same as actually quitting lol. because in my mind i always know where the fine line is. and i stay crossin that b*tch. smh.

        • http://www.somethingaboutata.blogspot.com Muze

          GIRL.

          my ex had a line. i knew this. he knew this. line usually ended up in ‘never never go there’ land after i got done pushing it.

    • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      Mmmhmm!

      Lawd knows I love to debate and have a problem getting the last word, especially when on the internet where miscommunications are all over the place.

      I love a dude I can banter with. Ish turns me on like no other. Rowr.

      • WIP

        I love the banter too. Some guys don’t know how to play, they take it too seriously. I don’t really care about having the last word though, I can admit when someone has a better point. I just end it off with “duly noted.”

        • sugahoneyicedtea

          I usually say touche’ lol

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          yeah…see, that’s the trademark of a feisty chick, her inability to admit when she’s been bested as well.

          and also, let’s not pretend like all men take things too seriously. women know when you’re intentionally trying to push a dude’s buttons mid-argument and then pull back like…wait, i was just trying to have a convo and here you go stabbing me.

      • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem of the Ocean

        im with you cheeks–i too love a man who will entertain my smarty pants comments and go with the flow. men who are easily offended by me when im blatantly playing around are WHACK. besides, its only when men act perturbed by my sassiness that i keep it goin. im a jerk, what can i say?

        • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

          @Gemmie,

          The dudes you describe with disdain are definitely… diva dudes.

          Yes, Sesame Street, today’s letter is “D.”

    • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

      But you’re light skint Gem!…and you have good hair. That counts for something! And tell em you smart son…you got crazy knowledge. lol

      • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem of the Ocean

        lolololololol!!!!

        my light skint long-curly-hurr-dont-curr aint got no man so…. apparently all my positive physical attributes arent workin in my favor lately (which is some bull, i just knew my gene pool wouldnt fail me but alas…). my feisty a$s is gonna have to settle down and be more polite and courteous. #bummer

        • keisha brown

          neva dat Gemmie!! NEVAAAAAA!!!!

        • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

          Hey hey hey. I’m single too but that’s not cause we’re unattainable. That just means we haven’t found the right man yet. Yeah, that’s it. Why be with everyone when you can be with that special someone! *ehugs*…we need to start a group.

          • keisha brown

            i thought we did. im the vice president. lol.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      you man-eater, you!

      • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem of the Ocean

        you love it

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “im constantly being told im feisty, sassy, have a smart mouth and that i always have to get the last word. and while i want to kick and scream and deny the claims, the truth is that i am all those things (and probably some more).”

      knowing is half the battle. the other half? clean underwear