Pop Culture, Theory & Essay

Don’t Cry Bro! People Are Watching!

He is definitely going to cry in the car.

He is definitely going to cry in the car.

As I do on occasion, I was having a very interesting conversation with a very interesting woman in my life. Now this particular friend is one who I’m able to confide in and she does the same to me. We tend to tell each other the good, the bad, the ugly; Big said get your money ain’t no tellin’ if they gon’ love me.

Well, this particular interesting woman with whom I’m was having a very interesting conversation, who also happens to be enlightened beyond Photoshop’s capabilities went on a date to see a very popular movie now with a man. In said movie are some scenes that may or may not draw some emotion out of the viewing public. In short, the man cried.

Or as we say in the Black community, man down. Pimp in distress.

Now my homegirl told me that while watching this movie she turned to her manfriend who she saw shedding thug tears and he hit her with the “don’t look at me” move. I’m a proponent of the “I’ve got allergy” sniffle and sweep. But you have to prepare that one in advance. You don’t just get allergies at the movie theater. None of this is here nor there.

My man shed thug tears at a movie that had a scene ‘pacifically intended to draw thug tears. She knew it. He knew it. And even despite this knowledge, she had the same reaction that Future had upon hearing Rich Homie Quan the first time.

She felt some type of way.

*rimshot*

(Seriously, that was dope right? It’s okay. You can tell me. I killed that pun.)

Now look, we’ve had these conversations before. If a man stubs his toe and actually starts boohooing, well yes, you have every right to feel like you have made the same type of decision Kanye made when he drew up the treatment for the “Bound 2″ video. A bad one. A very bad one. A man crying because he hurt his toe is just as bad as that video. It is the “Bound 2″ of b*tchassness. This is fair.

But…

…can I kick it?

Yes you can.

Can I kick it?

Yes you can.

Can I kick it?

Yes you can….

…well I’m gone. What ever is a person to do when something actually draws on real  human emotion but actually displaying said emotion will more than likely cause you to be viewed in a less than positive light. I’m not talking about Draking and driving or getting drunk and calling your ex at night and professing your love and all that jazz. That’s not a good look for any man. But full disclosure, I have definitely cried at Disney movies. The Lion King f*cked me all up. And it was supposed to. When Nemo’s mommy got ated all the way up at the beginning of Finding Nemo…I definitely may have cried for Argentina.

To date, I have shed tears because of two songs: Donny Hathaway’s version of “A Song For You” and Phyllis Hyman’s “Be Careful (How You Treat My Love)”. Both have drawn real emotions out of me. In fact, I can remember the first time I truly listened to the Phyllis Hyman song on the way to NYC and damn near having to pull over because it affected me so much.

I’m as manly a man as you’re going to find. There’s no one in town half as manly, I’m (nearly) perfect, a pure paragon. I mean you can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley, and they’ll tell you whose team they prefer to be on. So if I ever feel a need to shed a tear, I’m comfortable enough in myself to do so. I’ve heard people say that crying is a cleansing, and I don’t know about all that, nor do I know if we each have a destiny, or if we’re all just floating around. What I do know is that if I’m watching a movie and something that is supposed to make people cry happens, and I cry, and you look at me like I’m crazy I may have to pinch you really hard.

I realize that crying is one of those divisive topics when it comes to manhood. Any man can cry over the loss of a loved one. Well, he can cry over his momma, grandmomma, children, and if he knows his father, maybe his father. Oh, and abrupt and sudden losses of friends are also okay. But almost any and everything else is out because a man who has emotions that can be easily drawn out is a man with an asterisk.

Right? Ladies? Right? Even guys look at men who may shed a tear a certain way. Granted, many of us have cried in front of our boys (if need be). I know I have. But I also really like good things and it hurts when people boo. You can’t just be crying outchea in front of any body either. You’ll either get punched in the chest (ironically this does not help you not shed a tear) or get berated (more irony as this makes you cry on the inside).

I guess my interpretation of the situation is this, we all hear about the situations when it may (or may not) be okay for a man to shed a tear or 27. We know those, but here’s my question, why exactly is it such a turn off for women to see a man cry EVEN at societally determined appropriate times? What is it?

We’ve got to admit there’s a certain irony in fighting gender roles but still holding tight to certain stereotypes of gender specific behavior…right?

Who you callin’ a b*tch ain’t just about women’s rights, ya know!

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka VITAMIN P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIÎIRL HE A 3

 

Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • helga_g

    why is this entry posted in teddy bears?anyway crying in public is inappropriate for woman, man, or child….especially children…and crying on a date?!?! yes I understand some scenes may bring out some emotion but please sir conceal that ish. thank you.

    • JayIzUrGod

      Just pass the gotdamn Kleenex, let that sucka get clowned in the car on the ride home.

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

      i appreciate the realness of this comment, cuz i know all yall aint here for tear soaked bosoms

    • LMNOP

      children are born unable to communicate except by crying. It takes years for them to learn to communicate through language and even longer for them to learn to regulate their emotions, so sometimes they cry, sometimes even in public. Also, they are human, and humans have feelings and sometimes cry. It’s okay.

    • panamajackson

      I mean what if youze on a date and you go see a movie that opens up the tear ducts…i’m ‘posed to pretend i ain’t go no emotions. Tommy Mottola had mariah feeling emotions. i got those too.

  • miss t-lee

    The Bound 2 of b*tchazzness…lol oh and the lyrics are back yay!!!!
    As far as crying, ain’t nothing wrong with it. However, I don’t cry a lot, so I wouldn’t be comfortable with a kat crying at the drop of hat.

    • panamajackson

      I be droppin’ all types of lyrics. i push rhymes like weight.

  • Discolored Nigerian

    why exactly is it such a turn off for women to see a man cry EVEN at societally determined appropriate times? What is it?

    Personally, I’m just VERY uncomforatable with men emoticating through their eyes. I’ve stated my reasoning before that stems from cultural upbringing and socialization. If my boo cries, I’ll just give him the space to cry it all out. Hopefully he will be in a position to collect himself together after bohooing buckets of the Nile river.
    Yes, it is quite ironic that the fight for gender roles is still going strong, while Drake is alienated from this fight and is actually seen as a punk for exercising his emotional rights and freedom of expressing himself, his fears, his weaknesses…Men are always supposed to be strong.

    • miss t-lee

      Phyllis was a bad chick.

      • SuperStrings

        RIP Phyllis .

      • OSHH

        Yes she was….one my fav’s by her is “No one can love you more”, and my skating groove from way back in the day when I was little is “You know how to love me”..love that joint.
        “Be one” on the School daze soundtrack is another fav……

        ******”Searching” by Luther(RIP) is another song I used to to skate to

        • miss t-lee

          “You Know How To Love Me” and “Don’t Wanna Change The World” will forever be my songs.

    • JayIzUrGod

      Its assumed we are weak for crying. But nobody could tell me I was a b*tch for crying the first time I had to share a hospital room with a man who lost his left leg & hand, as well as a man recovering from crack, far from home in a hospital I was too sick to escape from. So I don’t get it.

      • The Nose of an African is Stro

        crying for men has to be justified, women get a pass.

        • DG

          “crying for men has to be justified”

          To whom??

          • LMNOP

            Jesus

            • DG

              Lol…which one, tho’? Black, white, or middle eastern?

              • LMNOP

                You have to justify it before a committee of Jesuses, black, white, middle eastern, latino and asian. It’s a long drawn out process to get your crying permit approved. The real reason men don’t cry: red tape and bureacracy.

              • panamajackson

                LMAO!

          • The Nose of an African is Stro

            Let me clarify this before ya’ll snahx. Mb weavecand leave me with bad wedges. The society we live in cannot fathom a man crying without a ‘legit’ reason behind the tears. For example, death of a loved one. Crying over your girlfriend breaking up with you is not a-okay.

            HeyyDG!

        • Sahel

          Justified,lol. Quite a statement this is.

        • panamajackson

          not sure i agree with that. like justified crying means there’s a board of individuals who vote that up or down.

          and if i aint on that board then it aint real.

    • Msdebbs

      I actually think it’s kinda sexy when a man cries but it can’t be over stupid shait like if his NFL team doesn’t make it to the playoffs that’s just dumb.

    • Rachmo

      I think giving him the space to cry is an appropriate reaction. It is way better than telling him to “man up”

    • panamajackson

      Turst me…Phyllis is that chick. Her voice is everything. She gives me life. See how emotional those sentences were? i might cry.

  • http://www.saysmeblog.wordpress.com/ Aly

    Eh, it’s not necessarily a “turn off” – a lot of women just aren’t sure how to react when a man cries. With a woman my first instinct is to give her a hug. With a man though it’s like, do you even want a hug?? Would that insult your manhood? Should I just pretend not to notice? I feel a sort of secondhand embarrassment even though I’m not even sure if HE’S embarrassed.

    If I were in your friend’s position at the movies I probably would have just pretended not to notice.

    • nillalatte

      This: a lot of women just aren’t sure how to react when a man cries.

      • http://www.saysmeblog.wordpress.com/ Aly

        Maybe we’ll get some insight from the vsbs…

      • JayIzUrGod

        As men aren’t sure what to do when a woman cries. But you either try something or you don’t. Panicing or psyching yourself out just makes you uncomfortable, and now leaves a stigma in your head, so should it ever happen again, your reaction is more negative than it was the first time.

      • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

        Additional humans requested. I don’t buy this at ALL.

        • http://www.saysmeblog.wordpress.com/ Aly

          Lol, what does that even mean, Todd – you don’t “buy” it. WHAT exactly don’t you buy?

          I don’t think it’s such a stretch of the imagination to not know how to react to something we rarely experience, and when we DO experience it we receive reactions ranging from wanting comfort to being pushed away.

          • Camilleblu

            I agree Aly. He comes off like every person should automatically know how to handle every situation. #Please.

            • Terry Odis

              Nah, it’s not that. But many woman just got nurturing on lock.
              Maybe she’s born with it.
              Maybe it’s Maybelline.

          • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

            What I am saying is that people have a general idea of how they’ll handle things. It doesn’t mean you will go by the book when they do happen, but they are leaning one way or another. Also, I don’t buy the idea of a man crying is so inconceivable that someone wouldn’t have a clue as to what to do.

            • Joanna

              I think it depends on the situation. If someone died, then clearly you would try to offer some sort of comfort. But if he’s crying during a movie, you (I) kind of just twiddle your thumbs and hope he’s done before he noticed you notice to avoid any potential awkward “Man, they’re just allergies!” moments.

            • Terry Odis

              you would think it’s aliens in our tears or something. #ChubbyRain

      • panamajackson

        Fair enough…but many women find that they have no solution to be a turn off. From my convos. Cuz something is turning ninjas off.

        • nillalatte

          I don’t really find it a ‘turn off’ per se. The only time I’ve been exposed to a man tearing up is in extremely sad situations or angry situations. Sooooo…. my wait and see what the fudge y’all gonna do with those emotions is pretty much a learning moment from man to man.

          My daughter is taking some sort of social study class and said, “I’m not touchy feely because you’re not mom. White people are like that. They just don’t show emotion.” I looked sideways at her too.

          I have a son too and he cries at movies too. Of course, he has been raised with a bunch of women, so he may be more comfortable showing emotion like that sometimes. But, he is still getting social conditioning, I’m sure, from the boys with whom he attends school. Y’all know how social conditioning can be tremendously influential.

    • helga_g

      it is very awkward!

    • JayIzUrGod

      You could just ask. That’s all. Thinking stereotypically is what keeps the problem alive. Just ask me. I might say “nah I’m good”. I might say “yea, I could use one”. Honestly…what’s the worst thing that can happen from asking?

      Besides…Aly boobs touching me? I’ll take “What Is F*ck Yea” for $800 Alex.

      • http://www.saysmeblog.wordpress.com/ Aly

        So I’m trying to comfort you and you’re trying to touch my boobs?? Smh ;) But yeah, I see what you’re saying though – the easiest thing to do is just ask.

        • JayIzUrGod

          eh my commented got knocked. but in truth, there’s no place for sessy thoughts while emotional, I was joking earlier. But I stick to what I said about asking, it depends on person to person, but showing initiative at least shows maturity on your side.

        • Mr. SD

          We’re always thinking about boobs..lol

          • Sahel

            Dude,the one time i was not thinking about boobs was when i was shopping.So i go to the freezer section for some meat and this woman in a tiny tight T walks in,she had no bra on was perkier than two women put together. Suffice to say all the men forgot they were shopping. Those nips went harder than diamonds zero to sixty in 2 secs

            • Mr. SD

              long live da boobs!

        • Sahel

          I would’nt even dream of touching your boobs. No matter how perky,how soft,how round they are. Even if i hear them whispering to me,calling out my name,i would not touch. Even if you were wearing a white T,and my tears made the T transparent,i will not touch. I am not Rewind

      • nillalatte

        Man’s crying, but he’s still thinking about chex. Imagine that. smdh

        • LMNOP

          To be fair, all people come out the womb thinking about boobs when they cry.

          • Sahel

            Just for this comment,am adding you to the VSS of year list

            • LMNOP

              I was just scrolling through and saw this comment again, and it IS a pretty great comment. I’m a upvote it my damn self.

              • Sahel

                Am cool with it.

      • LMNOP

        I am pro-men crying, but it also kind of makes you feel uncomfortable in the same way it’s uncomfortable seeing your parents cry when you’re a kid, because they are bigger and tougher and you feel like they can keep it together but then see that sometimes they can’t.

        • JayIzUrGod

          Bit that’s just you being unrealistic. Your parents are human just like you. Men are the same. At some point, the childhood fantasy must be put aside and you have to see people as they are by looking into their souls. No one is infallible

          • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

            Word. Just as at some point, you have to look at your parents as *people* and not merely parents, you have to look at men with the same eye.

            • JayIzUrGod

              Exactly

          • LMNOP

            I mean I know that of course, I’m a parent and don’t remotely have it all together. But there is something about seeing someone who is bigger and stronger than you being so vulnerable that also makes you feel vulnerable. I’m not quite sure how to express what I mean here.

            • JayIzUrGod

              But that’s the touching part about being human. You realize in the end, strength is a matter of perception. EVERYONE is weak at one point or the other, strength cannot last forever without being refreshed. So our heroes can be our equals, if only for a moment because they bleed like we bleed.

              • LMNOP

                True. I like that.

                • JayIzUrGod

                  Inspiring isn’t it? I remember the firat time i saw my dad cry at my grandfather’s funeral. He didn’t cry when his own parents died, but he cried for his father-in-law, that accepted him as his son. That’s when i realized no one is immune.

              • Amethyst

                strength cannot last forever without being refreshed. So our heroes can
                be our equals, if only for a moment because they bleed like we bleed.

                I LOVE this!

                • JayIzUrGod

                  Thank you kindly, it came out of nowhere honestly

              • Terry Odis

                Ain’t nothing like a good cry either. Personally, by the time i finish crying i feel like a new man.

                • JayIzUrGod

                  Same here, all rejuvenated and stuff, its so refreshing to feel empty.

                • Chris Thompson

                  It is a stress reliever!

        • panamajackson

          Now see this is a fair point to me. Because it makes you realize that wow, these folks deal with stuff too. It should remove all non-sense built up into thinking that stuff inthe first place…but alas. it never does.

    • Brother Mouzone

      He should have excused himself and went to the restroom..”wow, that soda went right through me, excuse me babe”, I gotta go! lol

    • Terry Odis

      Aly, i know men got the whole world on our backs, but ain’t we humans too? personally i think there’s just something soothing and special about human touch, especially an embrace. Also, as a man I definitely seek the sacred space where I can be 100% vulnerable. To refer to Champ’s post at Ebony yesterday, why we keep runnin frontin like we ain’t human when it’s obvious that we are? We’re concerned about all the wrong things. Orcas need saving and sh*t.

      • girl, bye

        “but ain’t we humans too?”

        is this the black male version of ain’t I a woman? if so I like.

  • JayIzUrGod

    I’ve been touched a time or two by a movie. However, I’ve never once understood crying because of a movie, no matter the gender. I just don’t understand how it is possible to be that friggin sensitive.

    However, far be it from me to judge one who must have the sniffles for a particular situation. Its your messed up life, not mines, so do what you must. But us men will never not get flack for crying. We still got this He-Man bull sh*t stuck to us so we can’t show any weakness. The moment we do, we are just B*TCHES, all caps FOREVER.

    But a real person lets it go. A real person understands. A real person has no need to judge, for someday they will shed a tear as well, and hope you don’t judge them for it, like they didn’t judge you.

    • Msdebbs

      I think people (including myself) cry at movies because they’ve probably been in similar situations or it brings up sad memories from their past or sometimes you really just get caught up in the movie and it evokes emotion. So you didn’t feel anything when Cleo died in set it off??? Now I’ve never been a police chase from robbing a bank but I got a lil misty because I really didn’t want her character to die 8:::(

      • JayIzUrGod

        I didn’t cry at the funerals of any of my deceased older relatives, grandparents included, so its hard to shed a tear for a fictional character. Of course movies can invoke emotions but crying is the ultimate display of emotion to me, so it should be reserved for the right reasons

        • Sahel

          I remember Titanic when Leo ate it. The entire hall became a battle to prevent the loss of G status

          • http://daratmathis.wordpress.com/ dtafakari

            It was too cold in the theater and my would-be tears froze. That’s the only way I ain’t cry on that scene.

          • JayIzUrGod

            That is probably the only exception to the rule but i still have not seem the big deal about that scene

          • Joanna

            Nowadays I can’t help but think of those memes that say Rose should have made room for Leo on the door. Any need to cry is replaced by laughter.

        • panamajackson

          And I thought I didnt have any feelings.

          • JayIzUrGod

            I reqlize how my comment seems cold blooded. But instead of crying, i celebrated their loves. I cracked jokes and tried to make everyone smile by remwmbering the good times. I refuse to focus on my loss, instead i focus on their gain: eternal bliss. The hope that they have moved on from this place onto a better one and that the pain has stopped. That’s why i never cried.

            • panamajackson

              It still suggests a remarkable ability to compartmentalize the two, then disregard the negative end. That’s impressive.

              • JayIzUrGod

                Thank you. Honestly its based off my emotional instability as a child. Things were always in disarray, so i started functioning as two people instead of one. When i finally learned some emotional maturity, i found it easier to be someone who puts his feelings to the side to recognize a situation first, then react.

    • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

      Regarding that last paragraph, well, apparently most people are figments of our imaginations. The people I come across roll around with robes and gavels waiting to judge a ninja.

      • JayIzUrGod

        But do you give them something to judge?

        N*ggas been shaming me since i was a kid. There’s not a thing left to say to my face that would hurt my feelings, I’ve heard it all. So what’s left is a decision to realize those quick to talk are slow to think, and with that said, why would i take them more seriously than someone who is more mindful and respectful?

    • Rachmo

      I agree that a real adult that has seen some things will have the grace to let you have a moment.

      • JayIzUrGod

        Exactly, because they see how the world truly works and will let go of stereotypes and assumptions

      • CB

        I played sports from 6 years old , high school and college, I can remember my pops being at every practice, game, no matter what sport. He passed a few years ago and everytime I watch a ESPN 30 for 30, i cant help but let the tears roll because i cherish those memories now. I never once seen my Pops cry and I can’t remember a time he said i love you but those sports memories always let me know that he did. Just like some said above, you never know what will trigger those tears.

  • PaddyfotePrincess

    There are times when tears are very necessary and I wouldn’t be turned off to see a man cry. It just shows that we all have emotions and that there is strength in expressing/sharing them with someone.
    Co-sign Donny Hathaway. The only way I can describe his voice is that it’s haunting and his music touches the soul. If I’ve had a bad day at work and “For All We Know” or “Giving Up” happens to shuffle through, I’m boo-hooing.

    • DG

      Co-sign your co-sign re: Donny Hathaway. “For all We Know” is one of those songs that just makes you stop whatever you’re doing…it’s that powerful.

      • PaddyfotePrincess

        Yes! Powerful is the perfect way to describe it. Music/movies usually don’t affect me, but “For All We Know” is something else.

      • Jay

        Yeah but A Song For You… bruh.

      • panamajackson

        I was listening to it on repeat this morning on the way to work. That’s that real sh*t sh*t to make you feel sh*t right there.

        • Jay

          Just the piano alone will get you deep into your feelings…

    • JayIzUrGod

      His Christmas song causes me to stop all I’m doing for those 4 minutes to just enjoy

      *bear hugs you* hope all is well on your side

      • PaddyfotePrincess

        That is my all-time favorite Christmas song.
        *Bear hugs you back.* I am doing well, thank you.

        • JayIzUrGod

          Ok bet, come Christmastime, I’ll randomly call you and blast the song

          • PaddyfotePrincess

            Lol. Please do.

            • JayIzUrGod

              Done and done.

    • Jay

      Giving up, Magdelena, I Know It’s You, For All We Know, Someday We’ll All Be Free, Love Love Love… I swear I don’t understand how Donny isn’t UNIVERSALLY hailed as the GREATEST voice in R&B history. Seriously.

      • PaddyfotePrincess

        Donny is definitely one of the greatest and Someday We’ll All Be Free stays on repeat.

        • Jay

          I had always heard This Christmas and the Roberta Flack duets growing up but never knew who sang them. I didn’t really discover Donny until I was like 23 and I felt actual shade towards my mom for never exposing me fully to him.

          • PaddyfotePrincess

            Lol@ the shade. I was only familiar with the duets growing up. In college, an ex-boo was playing his greatest hits CD and I immediately got my hands on as much of his music that I could. I’m also a big fan of Lalah.

            • Jay

              I saw Lalah live at the Atlanta Civic Center. My ex was the biggest Mint Condition fan and she opened for them. Vocally, she is a technical wizard.

              • PaddyfotePrincess

                Yesssss to Lalah and Mint. The last of the R&B bands.

          • panamajackson

            I have a friend that I exposed Donny Hathaway too. Nearly every year she sends me a thank you email just to let me know how thankful she is for that knowledge.

        • Yonnie

          Top Two Break Up Songs That’ll Have You Considering to Drink Warm Bleach:

          1) Donny Hathaway’s Giving Up
          2) Anthony Hamilton’s I’m a Mess

          • miss t-lee

            I like my bleach on the rocks, thank you. *snickers*

      • b sweet

        “I love you more than you’ll ever know” is one of DH’s good ones.

        • Jay

          I think it was the first Donny that I heard and was like “who is this and why am I not familiar with it”. It was all downhill from there. I listened to everything Donny Hathaway that I could get my hands on.

  • nillalatte

    Okay, so to Aly’s revelation… I just don’t know how to react and essentially don’t. I think that probably comes from my dad’s behavior. I’ve only ever seen him cry once in his life, when his mother passed. Other than that, if he saw you crying at a movie he would look at you like you were alien. Crying is for sissies. Real men know this. Did I just call Panama a sissy? Hummmm….. :D

    Okay, okay, so the guy I used to hang out with cried up in my house one night — for no apparent reason! I don’t know what was going on in his mind, but tears were rolling. I was like WTF? … aaaannnnnddddd I froze. I let him have his moment and I never said anything about it. If it’s any consolation PJ, he admitted to crying at those Disney movies too. But, I’m always gonna look sideways at chu. I’m conditioned.

    • panamajackson

      Yes, I think you just called me a sissy.

      Yo folks judging men for having feelings at appropriate times hurt my soul.

      • nillalatte

        I said I would look at you sideways, but I’m not judging, just watching with no thought in my mind whatsoever. Seriously. I’ll let you have your moment too. Go ahead son. It’s all good. :D

  • I aint the one to gossip.. but

    I know he isn’t popular around here BUT Obsidian wrote a similiar blog on his website justfourguys.com. Obviously he/they got waaayyy more technical than you but it was an interesting read.

    • nillalatte

      Obsidian unpopular? Nah. Long winded and controversial, definitely.

      • Jay

        Not gonna lie… It’s not the same without dude around. What up Nilla.

        • Sahel

          They chased away O. Who is technically the most popular poster because he gets name dropped more than anyone else

          • Msdebbs

            I almost never read his post I just didn’t have the time or attention span. I’m good after 10 sentences.

            • LMNOP

              Yeah I usually just figured out what he said by reading other people’s reactions, occasionally skimming, if I was really interested.

          • Rachmo

            And who is “they” sir?

            • Sahel

              Death Eaters

              • Rachmo

                Omg DEAD

        • nillalatte

          Yeah, he def added drama. LOL It’s all good Jay. :)

    • http://www.saysmeblog.wordpress.com/ Aly

      So I read maybe a third of his post (it’s long!!) but I’m not sure how it relates to men and crying. Maybe you can explain?

      • miss t-lee

        LOL. ain’t
        nobody got time for those dissertations.

      • I aint the one to gossip.. but

        http://www.justfourguys.com/displays-of-weakness/ this was actually written by someone else not Obs…my bad.

        • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

          That blog is the absolute f*cking GOSPEL! The number of conversations where I expressed my feelings and they got thrown back in my face is galling. The whole “why are you trying to make me look bad” and “why are you trying to make me uncomfortable” game SUCKS.

    • The Nose of an African is Stro

      omg! i second Aly’s request.

  • http://vagabondaesthetics.tumblr.com/ Ricky

    Was that written in ATCQ cadence or Jay-Z’s?

    Anyway, I cry. I’m sure that isn’t surprising given the ~emotional~ nature of a great many of the comments I’ve written on here. Me crying is rarely cathartic for me though. It’s like a momentary irritation. I try not to do it to avoid that awkward conversation concerning why I’m crying. Crying doesn’t really do much for me personally I believe because I let out plenty of other emotions in a myriad of other capacities so I don’t feel better about releasing that bit of sorrow that usually comes with crying. I try to make sure I give all my male friends space to cry though regardless of the scenario. If they need to let it out I want them to be able to do it without fear/worry of me judging them.

    • JayIzUrGod

      ATCQ…anything else is a false imitation even if it is one of the best hip hop songs ever.

      • Sigma_Since 93

        It’s the Tribe Y’all, real live y’all.

        • JayIzUrGod

          I need a Tribe mega mix now, starting with Buddy

          • http://daratmathis.wordpress.com/ dtafakari

            Award Tour should be somewhere on that list.

            • JayIzUrGod

              But of course, along woth Scenario, Check the Rhyme, and my all time favorite,Electric Relaxation

      • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

        i read it in jays

        • JayIzUrGod

          I can’t do that, it jist feels disrespectful somehow

    • Rachmo

      “Anyway, I cry”- Daps

    • panamajackson

      ATCQ…since let’s be real…Jay shouted them out on 22 2′s.

  • Msdebbs

    That Kanye video was a weird and tacky mess.
    I think it’s okay for a man to cry just not too much and it can’t be for silly reasons. I had a ex break down and cry in front of me once. I didn’t judge him. We’re all human sometimes you gotta let that ish out.

    • http://uphereoncloud9.com/ Wu Young

      “That Kanye is a weird and tacky mess. ” Fixed that for you.

      • miss t-lee

        Indeed.

      • Msdebbs

        Thanks! :)