the end of the beginning

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shouting

like millions of other fanboys, i anxiously anticipated “matrix reloaded” and “matrix revolutions” with the nervous intensity of a virgin thrown in a locked room with jazmine cashmere. yet, my anticipation proved to be for naught, as the sequels proved that the wachowski brothers had absolutely no idea what to do after their first shot…like a virgin thrown in a locked room with jazmine cashmere.

this actually wasn’t surprising. it would have been nearly impossible for them to meet the insane build-up, and, although the ending of the first movie was intentionally ambiguous enough to lend itself to sequels, the storyline wasn’t.

download whisper

what did surprise me, though, was how my feelings about the matrix were altered because of the terrible, terrible, terrible, ending of the series. i had allowed the ending to change my overwhelmingly positive perception of the beginning, a phenomenon not limited to cinema.

despite breaking every meaningful regular season nfl record, the 2007 pats are still roundly ridiculed as failures because they barely lost their last game (hahaha!!!), and even the most spidermonkey matrix circus sex is seen as pointless without a capitial O at the end unless its with the champ.

but, when ranking “powerful endings” the romantic relationship break-up stands alone, the only ending that has the potential to make you want to forget all the good sh*t that came before

admittedly, romance presents a unique dynamic. sometimes the circumstances behind a break-up are so effed up that they effectively void the entire relationship, and sometimes it takes a break-up to see how sh*tty your stupid-ass relationship truly was

thing is, most romantic relationships are predictably decent and convenient, most relationship trouble occurs because the relationship becomes an inconvenience for someone, and most break-ups are characterized by the type of and prolonged angst and passive-aggressive inaction usually found in me fail’s panties and sam mendes flicks…not the type of sh*t you think would induce a positive perception prohibitor.

i guess we do this to self-preserve. positive relationship nostalgia is the bane of new penis and fresh p*ssy. plus, there’s no better way to sabotage your relationship future than dwelling on the past and no easier way to not dwell if you convince yourself that your past was more janky than yao’s feet.

self-preservation at what cost, though?

how healthy is it to allow a single event to have that much of an effect on your intellect? how sane will you be if you continually allow break-ups to funhouse mirror your feelings? if a black blogger bags a bald, blonde, butch stripper in the woods, will she munch the BET red carpet?

who knows. all i know is that “thrown in a locked room” is my new favorite euphemism

people of vsb.com, what say you and sh*t.

have you allowed a break-up to alter your perception of the entire relationship?

is it a good thing that a break-up welds that much power?

the vsb carpet is yours and sh*t

—the champ

229 thoughts on “the end of the beginning”

  1. the floor is yours and sh*t.

    that how you treat your guests? kids these days aint got NO home training.

    rude.

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  2. Thanks for bringing the fire on this post Champ. Good stuff… and watch me as I moonwalk over the first line, throw my leg in an MJ kick, and grab my crouch. **imbibing MJ** HEE HEE! I’m FIRST! LOL :-p

    ummmm… ok. enough of that. Ummm yeah, i’ve let ugly break ups paint an entire relationship badly, but that’s because the relationship was prolly full of bad moments and the break up was the last straw. I definitely don’t think one should wallow in break up agony. One should go ‘head and vent, mourn and go threw all the natural emotions that happen during a sad period – then realize that “This too shall pass”, and keep it moving :)

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    • @pgh muse,

      “…and watch me as I moonwalk over the first line, throw my leg in an MJ kick, and grab my crouch. **imbibing MJ** HEE HEE! I’m FIRST! LOL :-p”

      smh. see, thats what you get for using “imbibing” in a sentence

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  3. Apparently I am the Queen of Amicable/Indifferent/No-Closure Break-Ups. Mainly because when I broke up with someone… I moved as well… and left lots of unanswered questions (including proposals) in my wake.

    Which is prally why I have the issues I’m having now. I need to learn to be mean.

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  4. Hmmm. Great post, Champ.

    I’ve never had an ugly break-up – not from my perspective, anyway. The relationships may have dwindled down to ugly toward the end – i.e. more fighting, hitting below the belt when arguing – but the breakups have always been peaceful.

    “Dude I’m moving out tomorrow, I’ve already got a place” or “I am not feeling this anymore” and then I simply don’t answer the phone for him anymore. Now, I may have been cussed out behind my back or something, but there’s never been drama.

    That said, I think my picture of past relationships is pretty realistic, though the pictures of my exes are not. I have been told by at least half of my exes they thought I was cheating on them. Perhaps my break up techniques led them to that. Who knows?

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  5. “…your past was more janky than yao’s feet.”

    Damnit you, Champale. I’ve been “stomach sick” all day, and just visualizing those foots sent me straight to the bathroom – again. I owe you one.

    Now on to the question…

    Breakups will almost always sway our judgment and character when it comes to getting into another one. If the relationship was a bad one, you’re bitter and braced for the next one. That’s not entirely a good thing because you end up not really giving the new person a real chance to show that he’s “not like that other no-good” and he never really gets the benefit of the doubt for any of his actions.

    It’s not a completely bad thing either because as they say, you live, you learn, so you know not to get into what even remotely seems to be another bad relationship.

    Should a break-up really wield THAT much power? I want to say “no”, because there’s no real balance in having viewpoint, but we being creatures of emotion and sometimes less logic than we should have, it’s just a habit of circumstance. Not saying it can’t be changed, but it’s a “survival mechanism”, so to speak.

    Reply ↓

    • @RedBeanzNRice w/Fried Chicken, “That’s not entirely a good thing because you end up not really giving the new person a real chance to show that he’s “not like that other no-good” and (s)he never really gets the benefit of the doubt for any of her actions.”

      This I just had to find out. But I’m my case it was a good thing I didn’t give her the benefit of the doubt because aside from the wonderful fellatio martini’s I made in her mouth, there wasnt much to give her the benefit of the doubt on.

      Reply ↓

  6. Great post champ!

    Unfortunately i cant even comment on the post because im still slightly dealing with break up issues even though i have not been with this man for 7 years fml. What can i say Love was blind.

    Reply ↓

    • @JamaicanGirl,
      “…im still slightly dealing with break up issues even though i have not been with this man for 7 years…”

      7 years?! Good lawd, that man put that THANG on you, huh? ;)

      Reply ↓

    • @JamaicanGirl,

      “i cant even comment on the post because im still slightly dealing with break up issues even though i have not been with this man for 7 years”

      Wow. :(

      Reply ↓

    • @JamaicanGirl, sheeet. i can totally relate. me and my son’s father been in relationship limbo for like the past year now. I just broke up wit’ his a$$ again today. smh. if we didn’t have a kid it would have been a wrap – but children prolong the inevitable i guess. sad too cause i love his dirty draws. but he’s an a$$hole. Not saying i’m not, cuz i can be… idk.

      Reply ↓

      • @pgh muse, He was the first man that i can honestly say that i loved. We went to high school and college together. Every time we broke up something happened that brought us back together, i.e his granddad died.

        The worst part about all this is the fact that his newest ex girl friend will not stop harassing me about a man that neither one of us are dating at the time, she just cant stand the fact that he and i are friends.

        Reply ↓

      • @pgh muse,
        yea i feel you i tried ta stay with my BM for my son’s sake but my MawMaw told me “beeebe dont be no bodies fool” and i realized if i keep takin her back then im tha fool so i left and neva came back now im happy

        Reply ↓

        • @wudaman, Honestly i have tried, sometimes we will go months without speaking and with one conversation we become BFFs again. I am moving on but i need to man up for real this time and just let him go completely and stop letting him back in my life.

          Reply ↓

  7. I think the nature of the break-up has a direct effect on whether or not your perception changes. A bad break up will bring all the negative aspects of the relationship to the forefront of your mind, but a cordial break up will give you closure and peace and you can go on about your life.

    I haven’t had a ton of relationships, and I’ve only experienced one bad break up. I was fed up with the person I was with, and I finally decided that I was over him and over it. So I broke up, and all I could remember was everything that made me mad and led to that moment. Every other relationship ended in “friendly” break ups and each of those men are still friends. We can talk about the good times we shared, the good times they are sharing with their new women, etc. But that one bad one has tainted his image in my mind. I won’t give him the time of day.

    Reply ↓

    • @Ashley Neicole,

      “Every other relationship ended in “friendly” break ups and each of those men are still friends”

      It’s always good to maintain some level of friendship with exes. Even if you don’t talk to them on the phone, you should be able to run into them in public and not get upset, lol. I am friends with all of my exes except one (the one I told I was moving out and left the next day…oh well) and it makes things easier since you are bound to run into folk.

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      • @iloVEGrits,

        unless you do like I used to and just skip town. *smh @myself*

        I hate running into skeletons when I’m with new dude. Not necessarily ugly as much as they embarrass me with their loose lips.

        Reply ↓

            • @The Champ, on behalf of my client, Luvvie, I would like to remind you that any mention of her inside parts is strictly forbidden in IG Title 17, section VSB.

              Reply ↓

            • @The Champ,

              “this, btw, was exactly what luvvie said to me about her vagina”

              I was not ready for this!!!!!! My laugh went down the wrong pipe….I AM OVER HERE CHOKING!!!

              Reply ↓

        • @blackberry molasses,

          “they embarrass me with their loose lips.”

          There’s a disgusting limerick in there somewhere. I found it. Can you?

          Anyway, more to point: What’s the purpose of even keeping a skeleton? I may not volunteer mad information, but, logically, if someone wants to know an answer, they’ll ask a question. At least I do.

          However my persona has been labeled “cold and callous and a heartless jerk” more on that later…

          Reply ↓

          • @Dante_Alexander,

            Its not like I’m being secretive. The past is the past and I’m not ashamed of old ho sh*t. Especially if the new man is benefiting from it.

            What pisses me off about ‘skeletons’ is that sometimes, even if they truly don’t want you back, they just seem to want to f*ck around with you/your new situation out of some kinda spite or to get the last word in. Even if it wasn’t a bad break up.

            Reply ↓

            • @blackberry molasses,

              Hmm… Not to judge, but stop messing with ho azz ninjas.

              Just a personal opinion. I don’t know a real dude who would do such a thing.

              Unless you were the petty, vindictive type to deserve such a transgression. I hope not…

              Although I DO know a couple chicks like that, I’ve never resorted to that sort of thing myseif. Thought about it, sure, but I wear boxers. That’s a panty-type action, feel me?

              Reply ↓

            • I feel you… and yes, they were the epitome of b*tchazzness. Sensitive thugs that needed hugs… from they mamas. Those were my younger days…

              But no, I’m not the petty type. For real, I don’t know how to be. I think that might be what pisses them off. They’re looking for a drama queen so they can talk about a ‘crazy ex’ and I’m not the one. I really just turn and walk. Hence my propensity to skip town (well not just for that. happens that my career/school moves pretty neatly fit into the scenarios.)

              Reply ↓

            • @blackberry molasses, “I’m not ashamed of old ho sh*t.:

              1) That is a t-shirt if I ever seent one and 2) I feel an IG thread coming on with old ho sh*t:

              ‘Sell By’ October 08 face.

              Reply ↓

            • @ Dante_Alexander, Hmm… Not to judge, but stop messing with ho azz ninjas.

              i hear this… but sometimes the b*tcha$$ness doesn’t pop up till after they got some blackberry molasses and lost they minds. I’ve seen some of the best men fall off their square due to some gotdayum. it happens.

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            • @pgh muse,

              Good point, e-dopple. Men be turning into whole new people after the rel’ship is done or on it’s way out. Like wtf? Didn’t you have pride when we out???

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        • @The Champ,

          I don;t think she meant anything more than staying cordial.

          It’s never healthy to harbor a “I’mma buss her head open to the white meat ON SITE” mentality walking through Sears.

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        • @The Champ,
          messes it up for you new peices im cool. imagine chillin wit ya new breeezy and the ex calls not a good look homie not a good look. I cut um off for real no 30 day notice automatic eviction from my mind lol

          Reply ↓

          • @BLUNTBLAZER,

            Yeah I agree. If I run into them in the mall or smthg I’ll hit em wit the head nod. Provided they try to get my attn first, other than that….

            …I don’t want any confusion on anyone’s part. I’m over it.

            Reply ↓

            • @Me fail english?,
              head nod shiiii i keep my o’s in diff area codes lol jus ta avoid stuff like that. I saw my ex in traffic tha otha day i sware she tried ta fallow and flag me down I almost turned into bo or luke duke yeeeehaw

              Reply ↓

        • @The Champ,

          yea I think she meant just in case you run into this person. But maintaining a friendship with you ex…just make sure you inform your new boo of that early on in the situation. looks bad to find out that the ex is now a best friend after your boy toy gets a phone call from her at 2 am.

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      • @iloVEGrits,

        I agree. I am friendly with most of my exes. We do not check on each other daily or anything like that, but we are civilized human beings with each other and from times to times we actually do talk.

        I have always found strange when people break up and can not even stand being in each other’s presence. I wonder where the friendship goes?

        Reply ↓

      • @The Champ,

        Bad break ups are ones where ppl leave w/ hard feelings. It isn’t mutually understood that the relationship is no longer working. My bad break up, I was with the guy for 3 years, and despite all of his immaturity, his inconsiderate-ness and his lack of the concept of cleanliness, I still wanted to work it out. It was my first relationship that had lasted over a year, and I thought he was “it” (as previously stated, hindsight is 20/20). I didn’t want to let go but I was also fed up. I carried some baggage around after the end. I now know I was mad that I wasn’t enough for him to want to change his ways. So, in those months following, as I was putting my broken heart back together, all I could do was focus on the negative of the relationship, and not take the positive that I had learned about men, and myself, from spending 3 years with this boy.

        In other relationships, it was understood it just wasn’t worth it anymore, and me and the guy were able to move on to other people and other things and still keep in contact with each other. I don’t talk to the “bad break up” guy at all.

        Reply ↓

  8. you know what as far as past relationships I have learned the power of forgiveness.. I was really angry about a lot of shyt that had been done to me for a long time and it led me down a very bad path for a while after I got my self together I realized two things..
    there are two sides to every story and no one was ever the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend and the other person just aint shyt (although one can be more “aint shyt” than the other)
    and two learn from the mistakes, forgive and move on otherwise that person will forever have a hold on you and if you dont learn from both his actions and yours you will be forever stuck in the same cycle because your actions havent changed….
    Plus after all the window bussin, apt floodin .. almost grand theft auto shyt I have done, I need a little forgiveness thrown my way as well…….

    Reply ↓

  9. Maybe it’s just me… but Champ’s red carpet munching reference makes me NOT want to take the VSB carpet… is the VSB carpet red, by any chance? This whole carpet situation is making me extremely uncomfortable…

    Reply ↓

  10. “is it a good thing that a break-up welds that much power? ”

    I don’t think that ‘power’ is limited to break ups. Relationships are a significant pieces of our life, for most of us anyway. And, as it often happens when a key piece of our life changes, ends or simply doesn’t end up how we expected, we take from that and use it to shape our opinion.

    This is true in jobs (you had a sh***y boss/co-worker the last year of your job and you always recall that the job was he!! even though you loved the first few years), school (you loved high school but can only seem to remember the time in freshman year when your crush pulled your bathing suit down, exposing your bits to 5th period swim) and even with our parents (for the most part, you parents were decent people but you can’t get over the fact that they bought your older sister a car for graduation and gave you luggage for yours).

    Is it bad that a breakup shapes our picture of the relationship? It’s bad if you are walking around holding on to anger/disappointment/confusion that freezes you and prevents you from forming new bonds. Otherwise, it’s just…normal.

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    • @iloVEGrits,

      “the fact that they bought your older sister a car for graduation and gave you luggage for yours”

      LMAO! This actually happened to me. I’m still kinda salty about that bum ass luggage. Now I just use it for storage. Oh well.

      Reply ↓

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