Featured, Race & Politics, Theory & Essay

Dear Men Who Very Obviously Hate Women: Do Yourselves A Favor And Just Admit It!

The idea that overt and unambiguous racism is preferable to subtler forms of prejudice is not a terribly uncommon one among Black people. Of course, like Tyga’s music and soft chicken wings, all racism is really bad. But if given the choice between clear racism and concealed and/or confusing racism, many of us (myself included) would choose the clarity. I also consider it to be, well, more honorable. As a person clearly stating that they don’t fuck with you and your kind under any circumstances is quite a bit more honest and respect worthy than one who weasels and dog whistles around it. I can also imagine that it’s quite liberating for the racist. Which is why I’ve always believed more racists should embrace their racism, like how my dog right now is embracing an empty suitcase that he believes is attracted to him.

Seriously, think about how much easier life would be for them if that happened. Instead of regurgitating some bullshit about why a Black family moving into your neighborhood upsets you, imagine the freedom felt when exclaiming “I just don’t want to inhale any nigger air on my deck.” Think of the unshackling power of a politician coming out and saying “I just really, really, really don’t want Black people to vote” when questioned about voter ID laws. Of course, there are some very obvious social incentives for staying in the racism closet. But doesn’t a clear conscience supersede that? Plus, it’s not like people don’t already know that a racist is a racist. Everyone who knows Jack already knows not to invite Jack over to watch the NBA Finals. Imagine how much more sleep Jack would get at night if he changed his wifi network to “Coon Free Zone”?

Anyway, if you happen to be a man who carries a very obvious animus towards women and you happen to be reading this, I believe you should do the same thing! Instead of doing things like pursuing very public PhDs in Social Media Rape Apologia — and leaving everyone confused about why you’ve decided to cape so hard for that cause — why not just come out and embrace the misogyny? Lift your head, bare your chest, and exclaim to the universe that you’re just not that into things like “women having agency” and “women feeling safe” and “women possessing thoughts that are not the thoughts I happen to possess” and “women working at Home Depot.” Stop using “females” as a substitute for “bitches” and just come out and let your bitch spouting flag fly. And while that flag is flapping in the wind — naked and free — admit that while you do enjoy “fucking bitches” (and very much wish to continue to do that), you “don’t really fuck with bitches all like that.” Instead of tuning your bat signal to a specific frequency that only lets you know when and where a man is being criticized by a woman or accused of something by a woman so you can rush to blindly defend him, just say “I don’t care about — or even know about — what he did. I just don’t want bitches to win.”

Of course, like with racists, I’m aware there are quite a few incentives to attempt to conceal your hate. I imagine it may be more difficult to sleep with, marry, have children with, garner support from, eat food cooked by, accept car loan cosigns from, “borrow” Netflix passwords off of, and go to movies and shit with women if you make it plain that you hate them. But alas, doing this will help you identify yourselves to your sisters-in-arms — women who kinda, sorta hate women too. Which will now give them the confidence and the freedom to freely admit that they kinda, sorta hate women instead of leaving everyone confused about why they feel the need to do so much to support and defend men accused of doing shitty-ass shit to women. And then you can live happy ever after, and do things like “go to R. Kelly concerts in 2016” and “eat cheese dogs from Sheetz” together.

I know what I’m suggesting is difficult and counter-intuitive. But I’m just going to need you to trust me. And then, when you’re done trusting me and you’re ready to be free, come upstairs from your aunt’s basement, because your Pop Tarts are getting cold.

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com and EBONY Magazine. And a founding editor for 1839. And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • I think the irony is a lot these kind of men don’t even realize they hate women. Once they can be convinced of their fuckboyness, then they can be saved…

    • ALM247

      But can they be saved? Do they really want to leave the comfort of the rent free zone with plush sofas? Are they strong enough to avoid the laziness of holding onto the opinions they picked up from the random barbershop talk?

      • Question

        Nah…don’t blame them on barbershop talk. Its YouTube, Twitter and too much time spent with other pathetic dudes.

        • ALM247

          I’m sure that all barbershops are not guilty of this, but some are encouraging the ignorance.

          • Question

            Maybe I should’ve asked instead of stated – this isht gets floated around barbershops? While folks is gettin’ lineups n such? Do hoteps have money for haircuts?

            • ALM247

              Just because you haven’t personally witnessed this, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t or hasn’t happened.

            • Brandon Allen

              Barber is the #2 hotep profession behind oil salesman.

              • ALM247

                Thank you! Why is “question” playing like he or she doesn’t know what’s up?

              • brothaskeeper

                And muralists.

              • Question

                Ahh…the barbers. Captive audience. Sharp objects. Don’t wanna get nicked up. I get it…kinda….I guess??

              • truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

                You a’int lying.

      • nope.
        as long as there’s no incentive to change their ways (aka there’s always a woman ready/willing/able to do what another wont)…..no change is gonna come.

    • miss t-lee

      Can they really be saved though?

      • Madame Zenobia

        No. Once a phuckboi always a phuckboi. It is a lifestyle choice of the highest order. It takes time, dedication and effort to translate life experiences into the unyielding commitment to ignorance, irrational hate and the love of mental self-preservation that makes women a wanted commodity whilst simultaneously considering them a mortal enemy and master villian. (Apologies for the run-on sentence.)

        • miss t-lee

          I mean…that’s how I feel.
          Lost causes, the lot of them.

          • mhicks

            This may come off as naive, but I find that position sad.

            I’m just a believer that people can change if they want. It just starts with self-awareness.

            • miss t-lee

              I guess if you really want to change you can. Most of these types don’t see anything wrong though.

            • Madame Zenobia

              No, what’s sad is that those types lack exactly what you are talking about – self-awareness. They see nothing wrong with their positions and don’t want to change. Therein lies the hopelessness of their situation. Those types of men are DEDICATED to seeing the worst in women. You can’t twist logic the way that the do AND have self-awareness.

      • Some claim to have to change when they have daughters but I’m not sure if many do. Like I’ve said many times even when they have daughters they get lumped into the group with their cousins, sisters, mamas, and aunts-They view them kin but not women. Just women like.

        • miss t-lee

          Oh…these are the best.

          • Other_guy13

            But does it taint their newfound awareness?

            • miss t-lee

              What awareness?

              • Other_guy13

                Awareness that someone could treat their child the way they treated women. That they should really give a damn about women instead of pretending because they actually have a real interest now.

                • miss t-lee

                  Well you made my point for me.
                  It shouldn’t take you having a daughter to all of a sudden care about women.

                  • ALM247

                    Exactly!

                  • Other_guy13

                    Everyone wasn’t raised in the same household. Everyone wasn’t raise with the correct role models or group of friends. Being a product of ones environment is real…but the true judge of a man is his willingness to change and seek a higher moral code for himself and his family. Knowing something is wrong is one thing. Knowing why is another. The latter can sometimes only come through experience.

                    • miss t-lee

                      I hear you talking…trust me I do.
                      However, I’m not giving a pass on that “everybody wasn’t raised the same way…

                    • Other_guy13

                      That’s on you…I can only speak my truth. But a conversation can go a long way as we saw Monday…when you surround yourself with people who have a different experience or opinion….amazing things happen in terms of self awareness. I just want everyone to be great.

                    • miss t-lee

                      I would probably have a conversation if I was in a really good mood.
                      However, it’s not my portion to try to change men’s mind about if they should treat a woman with respect or not.
                      That kind of work is best done by professionals.

                  • Other_guy13

                    It shouldn’t…but a lot of things in life shouldn’t happen a certain way but it does. The real world and the one we want are two different things.

                    • miss t-lee

                      Clearly, we’re not going to see eye to eye on this subject.
                      So, I bid you adieu.

                    • Other_guy13

                      So you shut down the conversation….how is this productive esp. if I show a willingness to learn?

                    • miss t-lee

                      I’m not the one who is willing to teach these types of things to grown men.
                      There are folks out there with the patience to do so.

                    • Other_guy13

                      That’s fair

                    • miss t-lee

                      I’m not trying to be harsh with you.

                      It’s just that most of the time this type of work falls on us to teach, instead of the guys picking up the baton and doing the work of educating themselves.
                      That kinda sh*t grinds my gears.

                    • Other_guy13

                      We still cool as a fan…in the end it’s my responsibility to change if I see reason to do so. I’m really speaking in a general sense….I know my stance and I know when I say something stupid. In the end no one can do the work for you…you can lead a horse to water sort of speak but you know the rest. In the end…we as men need to stop looking at random women for motherly/ sisterly advice and do the work ourselves. I just like to have the conversation because different angles intrigue me.

                    • miss t-lee

                      Gotcha.

            • Kas

              The urban slang definition of that word . . .

        • Other_guy13

          I do notice a changing of the attitudes of friends who have had daughters from those who have no kids or all boys. It’s like a white woman who dates a black guy and thinks she gets it. It’s only when she sees how her child is treated that she really cares.

          • DocMaldo

            I’ve also noticed some changes in male friends/family members who’ve had daughters and are now scared shytless that some random dude is about to ruin their daughter the way they did to someone’s daughter years ago. They know that it’s a real possibility that they may likely have to support her, him, them, and them over there just to keep their relationship with the daughter on decent terms. So it does make sense to get right from the start.

            I also have encountered those who still treat women like jackbooted thugs off the street, but try to do right by the daughter hoping she will love and respect them regardless. They know they are only a few years away from a bad hip and a nursing home placement if she doesn’t.

        • wanderlust

          Daddy’s Girl here: I remember watching Higher Learning with my dad (I was about 10). The ra p e scene where Kristy Swanson told the Frat guy to stop after they were already having chex because he wouldn’t use a condom) came on and I asked my dad- was that ra pe. He replied no. i remember being deeply troubled and confused. I was the apple of my dad’s eye- without question, I know he would do anything for me to protect me. Fast forward 6 years later when I myself ra ped. My dad was there for me 1000% through the entire ordeal. As an adult I am now able to understand his unfortunate and dangerously misinformed opinion and views on ra pe (may his RIP) in that men are not properly educated on ra pe and ra pe culture. Was my dad a hotep- no. was he a fukkboi- NO. Was he woefully misinformed- YES. That does not mean that people are not able to change, and change for the better. It took a hapless circumstance for him to change his mindset but…he did. Situations are layered and complicated but that is life, it be’s that way sometimes.

          • Sorry to hear about what happened to you!

            Yes, I agree there are levels but as a man I find it troubling when guys have vastly different ideas about how women they share genetics with and those they don’t are treated. I was just raised to be very black and white about it. I’m misinformed on many things also.

          • cakes_and_pies

            Hoteps are willfully ignorant and combative. Your Dad (may he RIP) was just misinformed.

          • brothaskeeper

            Thank you for sharing that aspect of your life, and I hope you’re okay.

            • wanderlust

              Thank you, I am well and thriving. I was fortunate to have a great support system to see me through, that- and time to heal and forgive.

          • RaeNBow

            I’m sorry that happened to you. Your comment captured a lot though.

            Layered. Complicated…And misunderstanding. It’s what I get most often from people discussing instances of r,A,pe and sexual assault.

    • Minx

      Nah. Even the most “woke” of men can continue to harbour misogynistic tendencies – and they’re even worse because they manipulate the language of feminism and social oppression to get what they want.

      • Courtney Wheeler

        I think the idea of being “woke” puts too much pressure on the individual..or just inflates the ego to the point that it’s impossible to engage in a counter argument with that “woke” individual.

        • Minx

          I actually despise the term tbh, it just seemed fitting to use sarcastically – since usually the people who cling so strongly to the label are the ones who don’t understand that progress and change are part of the process.

    • Ain’t no saving them h0es.

    • Yes. I do think that someone that harbors such ill-thoughts toward women in general can be saved. Just as one is taught to be disrespectful toward women…they can be educated on the opposite as well. No, not all can be saved…but to assume that once a man hates women, he’s a fore-gone conclusion means the battle is lost before it has even begun. If they can’t be saved, then what is the point of feminism?

      • Minx

        Liberation.

      • Other_guy13

        Through a real conversation I think they can be saved. But they have to be open to it and open to removing personal experience from the equation.

      • LadyJay?

        Who teaches them to disrespect women?!? Listen, if you are able to respect a fellow man, respect a woman, because she is your fellow being. I don’t want to hear somebody saying they can be untaught. Untaught of what?? It is common sense and human decency to show respect to human folk, regardless of gender.

        • The same way racism is learned is the same way misogyny is learned – it is behavior picked up directly and indirectly. You may not want to accept that it has to be unlearned, but the human brain is a machine that is programmed from birth and what is considered respectful and decent varies by culture, region, etc because people are not born inherently evil or good, but are taught these things by observing the behavior of other human beings around them. That’s fact.

          • LadyJay?

            K.

  • Minx

    Dear Hoteps and all other Fake-azz NWCs (Ninjas with “Conscious”),

    This one was for you.

    • Courtney Wheeler

      I have a serious problem with them Hotep dudes….SERIOUS problem.

      • Minx

        I kinda enjoy them because my kink is listening to people seriously claim dumb ish. I’m still not over the argument that menstruation is the “White Man’s Disease”.

        • ALM247

          Who made that argument, and how pray tell did they come to that conclusion?

        • AnswerMe

          Um, you say they said what now?

          • MissusMaxwell

            Oh yeah. I saw a video a couple of months ago where some ain’t s h i t dude went all in about menstruation being unnatural and if we black women just ate right, exercised, and stop following the white man’s way of life, we could be free from the burden of the period. Google it. Several videos out there. C-R-A-Z-Y

            • ALM247

              Unnatural? You can’t stop puberty….does he think the fact that his genitals grew and his voice deepened after he reached puberty is unnatural, also?

              He doesn’t realize that without a menstrual cycle, he wouldn’t have been born?

              Scary……

              • cakes_and_pies

                He’s petite. Maybe they didn’t for him.

                • MsSula

                  Crine. Not petite! Baha ha ha.

                • miss t-lee

                  He is mighty dainty.

                  • Joi

                    Dainty… I’m crying literal tears

                    • miss t-lee

                      *daps*

                  • Petty Levert

                    Dear God come pick me up from this floor.

                • BriA

                  Is this the guy on Facebook that goes by the name “Yada” by any chance?

                  • NonyaB

                    Yes.

                  • cakes_and_pies

                    yep

                  • Mary Burrell

                    Yes

                • Nik White

                  All the Ups!

              • ShaiUnfiltered

                he didn’t grow – at all. He’s probably the same height he was in middle school.

                • NonyaB

                  His brain definitely experienced no growth whatsoever.

              • Mary Burrell

                The people who follow him are scary to me

            • miss t-lee

              I saw that dude.
              I think he’s mad because he’s a tiny man in a bad hat.

            • AnswerMe

              Refuuuuuuse to waste keystrokes on something like this …though I do need a pick me up.

              • LadyJay?

                I read that as refuuuuuse to WET STROKES and I paused, then re-read

                • AnswerMe

                  Whoa. Lol

                • NonyaB

                  LMAO. Coming through with that one track mind!

        • Ess Tee

          Oh gawd. That pygmy and his theory. I couldn’t even believe the women–WOMEN!–who sat up there and agreed with his dumb azz.

          • Ice Jones

            who spewed that mess? it reminds me of that tiy-e muhammed dude from a few years back. he subbed a class i had at clark atlanta back in the day and told us that if a woman had her period, it meant that she was unclean. if we cleansed our bodies, then we wouldn’t bleed. had a crush on him right up until that moment.

            • Illumina

              Wait…what? Lordt!

              • Leigh

                Lordt is right!!! Good Gawd! Some people are so outrageous it make me wonder where in the world did they come from.

                • Mary Burrell

                  And the crazy people who buy into their madness and when a black person disagrees with them they call them slaves and house ni99ers. Because they get called out on their fallacy

            • brothaskeeper

              Whet?

            • MsKey

              I remember him! He used to be on Rickey Lake or something? Locs?

              • Ice Jones

                YUP that’s him! i think he was on reality show too at one point, like atlanta housewives

                • Mary Burrell

                  I think he is the one that was going to date Sheree and he called himself a doctor.

                  • Ice Jones

                    yeah i think that’s it. i remember he went out on a date w/ someone and there was a lot of talk about it. i’m sure sheree wasn’t trying to hear that mess

                    • Mary Burrell

                      It was funny when they were having dinner with the other housewives and someone asked him about his credentials and where did he go to school and Nenee chimed in that he must have obtained his degree online.

                    • Ice Jones

                      yup, i think that’s what it was. because he was dr. muhammed and then he dropped it once it came out that there was no record of him earning a PhD. his whole set up was a disappointment

                    • Mary Burrell

                      I hollerd

            • Ess Tee

              Some short azz dude named Yada. He’s a scamming azz hotep, too. Because this man is apparently selling some concoction/juice that is billed as weening off menstruation or something (!!!). I can’t remember exactly,

              But there were women on his FB page caping hard for his non-science nonsense.

              • Mary Burrell

                The Internet is just a cesspool of ignorance and miseducation I hate that.

                • MostlyMax

                  All this information out here and folks choose to be stupid

                  • Mary Burrell

                    They don’t educate themselves or read books they just except the ignorance and don’t do anything critical thinking or use any discernment

                  • HouseOfBonnets

                    Welcome to my daily thoughts…..I just don’t understand what’s so wrong with doing ya research.

              • E_Deshon

                I saw his fb pg that fool told some woman to basically eat cherries and drink water for like 2-4wks to cleanse & her menstrual would stop. No siht its gonna stop & then her body is gonna shut down bc she aint eating. I was shocked so many women were actually sucking that foolery up.

                • Mochasister

                  What the what! Did this fool looked like a cross between Idris Elba and Denzel Washington? Otherwise I can’t understand why any woman would pay him any attention. I want a man too but I can’t imagine being this desperate.

              • Petty Levert

                That pocket size hotep is annoying.

                • Ess Tee

                  He really is.

            • Niecy

              Except that us women getting our period is a way of our bodies getting clean…He probably think women with normal discharge are “unclean” also smh.

            • orchid921

              I had a friend tell me to my face that he would never eat food cooked by a menstruating woman. He’s still waiting for me to approve that Facebook friend request … NOPE!!!

              • Yay Radley

                Some ignant fool started that whole myth about women putting blood in men’s food to “trap them.” Same fools running around telling each other to never eat spaghetti from a woman.

                Chile.

              • Mary Burrell

                Yeah the old country people believe in “hoodoo” and believe in this practice of witchcraft.

              • Edith Spencer

                WHAT. WHAT. WHAT.

                How has he grown? Because that mean s he would have starved once a week when he was a child- he would have refused his mother’s food!

            • Nik White

              Periods are cleansing the uterus!!!

          • cakes_and_pies

            Women begging for acceptance of that nonsense is the worst. They’re usually the one to say “I don’t have any female friends” or “We’re always trying to hold these Black men down,” and victim blame.

            • MsSula

              The “I don’t have female friends” crew just kills me. UGH!!! Just get out of my face already.

              • theresa.

                I have cousins like this. The “All my friends are guys because girls are so much drama” types. But yet, they’re ALWAYS the ones initiating drama with everyone. It drives me insane!

            • Ess Tee

              I want to kick every woman who does that “I don’t have female friends” thing in the shin. But I don’t because God’s working on me.

              • ComeLetsTalk

                You can always kick but ask for forgiveness later.

                • J’aime les hot cheetos

                  *fist bump*

              • Courtney Wheeler

                Yeah..you don’t have female friends because they’r tired of you trying to suck all the attention out of the room. Tired of you low key flirting with their man.. Please.

                • Question

                  Or trying to shade everyone in the room in order to put themselves on a higher standing. Yuck.

                • SororSalsa

                  I have been burned by that person. If every man in the room isn’t panting after them, something is wrong. And I admit to being evil…I once claimed interest in a random guy I saw across the room just to prove to a friend that she would go after him because she thought I wanted him. Terrible, I know, but it really was unbelievable to see it in action.

                  I know that there are legitimate reasons for not having female friends, but that phrase tends to make my teeth itch on GP.

                  • Courtney Wheeler

                    I have a lot of male friends. One of my best friends is a guy…but I’m respectful. I always introduce myself. That type of behavior is “thirsty light.”

              • I call them the “pick me” types..so quick to be desirable in these fools’ eyes just to say they’re “worthy” of being somebody wifey material. Very sickening

                • Minx

                  I will agree with you there, there’s a difference between acknowledging it and bragging bout it.

                • Pick me is the word of the day I see. I approve!

              • Minx

                I’m on the fence about this, cause I also believe if that we’re going to talk about gender-issues, we need to also allow space for women to be terrible people and be recognized as such. I don’t really have many “female” friends outside of my family members, and I find that women who don’t have female friends go in either two directions – they’re either toxic with a lot of internalized misogyny (been there, so it happens) or they’ve been the victims of toxic women and as such, don’t want to get involved in that again (also, been there). I support women, but I’m also wary of some.

                Lateral violence tends to mess people up more than if its coming from outside their community.

                • Ess Tee

                  I get the wariness, but I will say that I’m largely rolling my eyes at those who make such announcements. Because to me it often seems like performance for men in the vicinity.

                  • keikeicarolina

                    THIS!!!!!

                • ALM247

                  I agree. Some women have been hurt multiple times by other women’s backstabbing, lies, jealously, etc., and they eventually decide that it’s better to mainly stick to family for friends.

                  • Nycholle Curry

                    I couldn’t agree more! I’ve been lied on, back-stabbed, and turned against by women friends. My circle is so small now.

                    • Mary Burrell

                      Remember that line in Erykha Badu’s Appletree “I pick my friends like I pick my fruit”

                • Kae

                  I agree, but wonder how to go about this while to trying to maintain a united front.

                  If I see other women dyck-pandering and want to check it, I’d be loather to do it publicly – just because there’s already so much stigma about women not supporting each other – specially in the presence of a misogynistic audience. I feel like it gives off that vibe of “y’all don’t have your schytt together on this, can’t make up your minds what’s woman -hating and what’s not” and then dismiss whatever legitimate points were being made in the discussion based on that premise. i see this tu quoque (I looked this up, that’s the actual term) get pulled out a lot to shut down necessary discussion.

                  Like yes women propagate this phuquery also and we need to hold them accountable and check them too, but how does that pan out? Are we saying “you’re not with us, you’re the enemy?” Or a “Sis, you’re hurting yourself with this rhetoric, stop” approach (which is the more discreet option)…?

                  I wonder about how to do this because I see this situation happening ALOT, but am usually unsure of the best way to address it.

                  • Minx

                    Tbh I don’t really have an answer for that because I tend to be more conscious about letting women have space to be flawed but I do believe that call-ins are more effective than call-outs when talking about intra-community issues – but of course that depends on your relationship to the person. I can’t invest emotional labor into every woman I cross, it’s not possible.

                    And I don’t believe in getting into arguments about solidarity with anyone. For the most part, solidarity is a political myth – we can work together, but I think we tend to idealize solidarity as this perfect coming together which isn’t possible – I show solidarity when I call out men for their misogynoir, while defending them when they experience state violence. I show solidarity for women when I name and identify how patriarchy and constructions of femininity hurts us, while also holding women accountable for toxic behavior and challenging their internalized misogyny. It’s possible to allow for complexity while calling attention to things in simpler ways – and I find that those who try to call attention to division are more invested in upholding it than doing the work to bring people together.

                  • Maestro G

                    “Tu quoqu”. Hadn’t heard that term before. Thanks for teaching me something new today.

                • Blueberry01

                  But who says having “a lot” of anything is desirable or necessary? If your current social network (in real life, not social media) is supportive then you may not need any more people – male or female.

                  #QualityOverQuantity

              • Brother Mouzone

                When I was out there dating back in the day, 87.4% of every sista I came across said that EXACT thing. My boys would think I was lying when they wanted the friend hook up and I would have to disappoint them by telling them “she don’t have no female friends..at least that’s what she told me.

            • NicT

              Oh yes, the “Pick Me” and “I’ll Fix your plate boo” brigade. They are awful.

              • Yay Radley

                We ain’t the same group. I fix plates because I’m Southern and it cuts down on potentially having to cut the Cousin Faith types at the family reunion.

              • cakes_and_pies

                The “Pick Me” girls never look like the girls the hoteps want. They want a “Black Coffy” not a “Florida Evans.” SMH

                • HouseOfBonnets

                  This accuracy.

                • Edith Spencer

                  *dies laughing* So, so true.

            • MostlyMax

              Those “pick me, choose me” broads are so draining

              • Mary Burrell

                They are so desperate I was friends with one it was draining and sad to witness.

            • Blueberry01

              When people say they “don’t have any [insert type] friends”, I saw to myself, “Usually there is a reason and that reason is most likely, your personality.”

        • Deeds

          There are actually people that listened to him

          • Mary Burrell

            Yes

        • MsKey

          Waymen..whet??

        • Illumina

          Where do people get this s h i t from?

          They need to put down their scientificals and pick up a book. A real one.

          • Minx

            Their third eye.

            • Illumina

              Probably.

        • But science…..

          • MsSula

            See you being brainwashed with words like Science… Isn’t Science a white person invention and sh!t?

            • Considering how much they love Egypt and ish I would think they would love science too.

              • MsSula

                See, you need to call something else my brother. Open your 3rd or 4th eye… The eye of Isis (or is it Oris?) showed us something…. but it was not science. Loll.

              • Illumina

                But that would make sense, and they can’t have any of that going around.

              • Mary Burrell

                And anatomy and physiology and biology

          • charisma_supreme

            They NEVER science, bro

            • NonyaB

              But how can they science when they don’t even logic?

              • charisma_supreme

                Precisely

          • Minx

            Don’t y’all know that science is the White Man’s Disease?!

            The Earth is flat! Ask B.O.B!

            • Mary Burrell

              LOL

            • B-Dot Willz

              and that is why people stopped talking to B.O.B.

        • Leigh

          That’s crazy!!! Who said that??? I need answers!!

        • NonyaB

          I cut out laughing when I saw his video in the supermarket, talking about veggies like broccoli and cauliflower being man made, because they got “no carbon” and “nature doesn’t produce nothing white”. Thought it was a skit, then I realized the fxckface was serious.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvNP-qalA7I

          • MsSula

            I refuse to even listen to this. I quit.

            • NonyaB

              Aww, c’mon, dooo it, get your unintended comedy fix in!

          • JamesInstagram

            Oh my God.

            • Mary Burrell

              ROTFL??

          • ALM247

            He said that celery is high in sodium. I almost fell out. Celery is actually a diuretic.

            I have family members that have gardens. Watermelons grow small sometimes.

            There are definitely genetically modified foods in some stores, but he is mixing a lot of random nonsense in there.

            • Mary Burrell

              That’s why people need to read real science and biology books or better yet take courses at community college. People need to educate themselves this type of misinformation and ignorance is hurting our people.

              • LMNOP

                He pointed at a box of vegetables and said “all of this stuff is horrible for you,” most 3 year olds could correctly tell you that vegetables are healthy. I don’t even think you actually need much science for this one.

                • EBP

                  I had to look him up on FB and the first thing I find: “I know a lot of people cannot find alkaline foods, so I’m starting a online alkaline store where you can order all your alkaline foods. Alkaline foods will be coming to everyone in every state.” Uh… so he’s gonna bring people lemons, raspberries and sea salt. Ya know, things that already exist at the grocery store.

                • Mary Burrell

                  But there is some sad person listening to him and hanging on his every word that’s what’s scary.

            • NonyaB

              He’s the poster boy for why education should be mandatory with release granted only with high passing grade and no dropouts allowed.

          • orchid921

            What does this dude eat???

            • LadyJay?

              Air?

            • NonyaB

              Special knowledge, invisible to all but possessors of the 4th eye (3rd eye too low level for him).

          • Mary Burrell

            “Nature does not produce nothing white”??

            • Not even snow LOL!!!

              • Yay Radley

                Or dandelions. Or lillies. Or polar bears.

                • Mary Burrell

                  He probably believes in Yacob the mad scientist who invented the white man.

                  • Edith Spencer

                    Oh shoot- I almost forgotten that nonsense.

                    Almost.

              • Mary Burrell

                Touché he is a class idiot

              • Mary Burrell

                He is pure comedy

              • E_Deshon

                Snow is an invention of the white man used to to exert dominance over the brown earth. Fawk snow ?

          • TJ84

            Maybe he wouldn’t be such a little man if he ate his vegetables…

            • Nik White

              And his Wheaties!

            • Petty Levert

              Bye!!! ?????

          • Kae
          • EBP

            …wait. This isn’t a sketch? “have you ever tried to burn a carrot?” No. Because no. I guess I’ll eat my poisonous carrot and “die before my age” then.

            • Jo ‘Mama’ Besser

              He’s serious. He’s also said that menstruation is a European phenomenon forced on African women by white ones because African women pre-contact didn’t menstruate. He advocates a diet that that mostly consists of eating cherries for two months, which is supposed to cleanse you of menses. Of course you’ll stop menstruating after a few months, you’re dying of starvation.

              • Semiotexte

                Which is why Africans have complex and meaningful rituals and initiation rites centered on a women menstruating. This dude has got to be a grade A clown and needs to be put down.

          • I’m mad I watched several seconds of that. Is he confusing carbon with carbohydrates? What color does he imagine bones are? Or teeth? What factory makes your bones and teeth before implanting them in your body since they aren’t natural? So many questions that will never have a good answer.

            • NonyaB

              QTNA, if only he had a brain!

        • LadyJay?

          ‘Disease’?!

        • LilMissSideEye

          I’m still not over the argument that menstruation is the “White Man’s Disease”.

          Wait, wut?

          …like, just, what?

        • Yay Radley

          Chile. I was over that Oompa Loompa and his “theory” when he popped up on my screen wearing a church mother hat. You know Mother Shirley was pissed when she realized him and his errant glue gun had messed up her lodge meeting ‘fit.

          • Petty Levert

            What is air? Jxnsjsjjsjsjsi

        • How did Yada EVER get a platform?

        • Black Man Writing

          What the what? This cannot be persons serious with this argument. Are there?

        • ElephantInTheRoom

          Perhaps it’s the women’s wishful thinking that if they eat enough uncooked broccoli sprouts they might be rid of their periods forever.

      • Glo

        My dad’s a hotep (that I don’t eff with). I have a serious problem with them, too.

        • MsSula

          My one-time foray into Hotep heaven left me like…… Hmmmmm? Whet???? Boy, I need to write about this dude some day.

          • Courtney Wheeler

            They drive me nuts..you want to tell me how I’m letting European beauty standards make me NOT a queen but you’d bang a Katie Holmes looking broad in a minute when no ones watching.

            • MsSula

              I swear the whole episode left me puzzled… he’s lucky he was working with a sumthin… but 2 times was all I could endure. Negro was ca-razy.

              • Courtney Wheeler

                Good peen clouds good judgment.. lol

                • MsSula

                  You said nothing but a word.

                • LoveTrenia

                  Sigh. I wish it were not so.

              • NonyaB

                Chile, at least you broke off after getting broke off ?, rather than risk your brain deteriorating by staying.

                • MsSula

                  I met him at a house party… and I think it was the drinking that got me to even consider this fool. It couldn’t have gone past 2 home dates. With his fake azz name of Akhbar or Shabazz… or some such. Talking about let’s go watch the stars on the roof and I will tell you about the history of the Kusmit empire. N!99a, what? Seriously, it was straight fuckery from the get go… but I was tipsy… and then I saw the *loses signal*

                  • LadyJay?

                    Watchuseen d snake? It hissed and you answered! Oluwa remember her.

                    • Mary Burrell

                      LOL??

                    • MsSula

                      Oluwa delivered me… Oshe Baba Oluwa!!

            • Mary Burrell

              Hoteps are hypocrites remember in that YouTube Hoteps Be Hotepping the character in the parody had a white girl. Hoteps are more full of doodoo than a toilet

            • Helga G.Pataki

              while filming in Nike and Polo!

              • Courtney Wheeler

                Because Polo is from the motha land…
                *rolls eyes*

          • Minx

            Hoteps and I typically don’t mix – I think it’s because I’m very anti- about “spirituality” without any critical thought…and I don’t allow colorstruck men near me.

            • MsSula

              Well, I wouldn’t have known he was colorstruck considering I am blackity black black…. but I found out later on that he had the “exotic” fetish thing going. Me not being American (and cooking “peanut butter soup”!!!) was enough to fill his “see how different you are” quota.

              I was intrigued for a second and yup, I don’t do dumb. Loll.

              • Minx

                Hoteps LOVE fetishizing dark-skinned women, like it’s damn near a requirement.

                • JamesInstagram

                  …until they get relaxers, weaves, like any form of entertainment with non-heterosexual black people in it, or wear whatever they want…

                  • Mary Burrell

                    They are intolerant and illogical and did I mention hypocrites

              • Mary Burrell

                Is your screen name from the Toni Morrison character Sula?

                • MsSula

                  Yes ma’am. I instantly identified with her crazy. LMAO.

                  • Mary Burrell

                    Miss Sula was kind of twisted

                    • MsSula

                      As the folks in the South say, she was…. different. My kind of different. :-)

          • LadyJay?

            Lmaaaaaooo!!! Ma sista.

      • Indy Syder

        I hate Black Feminists the same way!

      • Indy Syder

        Oh, and I despise “hoteps”, purposely lowercase out of a lack of respect for them, as well.

    • “The I love my beautiful black queens…when they do what I want.” types.

      • jolly
        • *Smh *
          Animals.

        • Mary Burrell

          Those savages I think they were Hebrew Isrealites

          • Stephaniejclinton2

            <<fb. ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????::::::!il987r:….,….

          • jolly

            Exactly. Confused “more in touch with their true ancestry than everybody else because they’ve been willfully brainwashing themselves” misogynistic fools. Amongst all the historical and institutional divisive elements introduced to fray at the cultural fabric of black people… When it’s this bologna level of home grown f$#kery it’s most enervating.

    • Negro Libre

      I will never get the whole “Conscious” thing. (To be honest, I don’t get “Stay Woke” either, which outside of the people who say them, seem to mean the exact same thing.)

      • Minx

        I blame hip hop for the “conscious” bit coming from like the fake deep types

        • Mary Burrell

          KRS-One and Afrika Bambatta

          • truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

            Krs-One defends Afrika Bambatta, which is disgraceful. KRS-One was a HOTEP decades ago and still is one. Now, people more people are opening their eyes about how illogical hotepism is.

            • Mary Burrell

              Precisely

      • LadyJay?

        Stay woke is a hotep term that has now come to be accepted in the mainstream, very surprising.

        • Mary Burrell

          I feel like the consciousness movement is just a trend and it will be replaced by something else obnoxious

          • LadyJay?

            Right now it is very trendy to be woke, just like wearing the dashikis.

            • Mary Burrell

              Just like they subscribe to everything coming from Egypt and calling themselves Gods. That is crazy too.

            • Mary Burrell

              Wearing an ankh

      • lilylawyer

        “Stay woke” and the whole concept of “wokeness” drives me crazy!

        • Negro Libre

          It’s all Matrix-Gibberish.

          Something unique to the Millennial World View. Kind of like previous generations attachment to Orwell’s 1984.

        • Mary Burrell

          Because it’s become such a cliche and I too find it annoying

      • Mary Burrell

        You are brave to admit that I admire that.

      • julezyme

        damn, now I’m going to have to fall down the hotep internet rabbit hole of horror.

      • Brother Mouzone

        I agree that most of these types of Black people are deserving of all the shade being thrown their way. I just wish Black people would have the same level of skepticism and dismissive attitude towards the fake charlatans out there that are wrapped in a different (see white) package. That Billy Graham, Joel Osteen ilk. The often used phrase ” drinking the kool-aid”came from one of these types getting a bunch of mostly Black people to kill themselves. The same ones prior to him got millions of us to hate ourselves.

    • LadyJay?

      Lissen. These people are the same ones who have ‘Dr.Sebi’ as their god

      • Kas

        How could anybody follow that guy?

        • wanderlust

          FYI- Dr. Sebi passed away very recently…

          • Kas

            Oh I know. Being required to eat prison food was such a shock to his system that it killed him or the pharmaceutical companies poisoned him while he was in prison.

            • Mary Burrell

              The crazy Hoteps and their conspiracy theories cracked me up.

        • Mary Burrell

          Yeah he died a couple of weeks ago

      • Mary Burrell

        Chile…..SMH about that Dr. Sebi character.

        • LadyJay?

          Lissen……..I hate when folks prey on the vulnerable/desperate.

          • Mary Burrell

            Remember Lisa Lefteye Lopez went to see him. It makes me angry when people prey on vulnerable and desperate people.

            • LadyJay?

              She sho did. There are scam reports available.

              • Mary Burrell

                Yes there are

    • jolly

      While this article targets the men… There’s a whole lot of hotep women (mothers, earths, queens, etc.) playing the part and supporting this whackness too. Y’all all suck. & thee worst is when you drag African ancestry into the mix as justification for misogynistic foolishness. Nope. Nope. Nope. Misogyny exists in all races but y’all self hating confused ones are thee worst.

      • Indy Syder

        Be careful because certain people are going to call you a troll for being objective.

      • LadyJay?

        Agree!

  • *Stands atop the grassy hill which is adjacent to the Ayo Butt Hurt Clinic sipping a dark roast coffee while watching who enters.*

    • Amber

      I don’t drink coffee but I’ll bring some homemade sweet fruit tea.

    • you need snacks? i got snacks in my purse.

    • Innanet winner for the day for Ayo Butt Hurt Clinic. All the innanets go to @wu

      • Auto correct initially murdered this comment

    • Madame Zenobia

      I’ll bring bug repellant, ain’t no sense in getting bit up by these mosquitoes just to watch the lames.

    • Kas

      I’m feeling a might reckless. Considering going down the hill and engaging.

    • skinnynow

      I’ve got the umbrella and sunscreen. No sense in burning to a crisp while these ashies get all in their feelings.

  • ALM247

    That last line was gold!!!

    “I imagine it may be more difficult to sleep with, marry, have children with, garner support from, eat food cooked by, accept car loan cosigns from, “borrow” wifi and Netflix passwords off of, and go to movies….with women if you make it plain that you hate them”.

    Please add living rent free while playing video games all day, getting your filthy clothes and socks washed, asking for help on term papers, making tons of assumptions about a woman that you don’t know, asking to “hold” money that you have no intention of ever paying back, and borrowing her car to go see other women to that list.

    • Minx

      Two words: Emotional Labour.

  • cyanic

    Corey Holcomb.

  • miss t-lee

    “public PhDs in Social Media Rape Apologia”

    I’m cackling so hard. Finally there’s a term I can use for this affliction.
    Can we just make them get tattoos? Kinda like the mark of the beast?

    • It’s gotta be on the forehead. Less guess work

      • miss t-lee

        Indeed. Gotta be visible.

  • cakes_and_pies

    Let’s see these Hoteps go full Oh-Hell-No-Teps.
    Dis gonna be good.

  • To admit they hate women would take far too much introspection, the ability to communicate, and BALLS, none of which these fuxkbois possess. They’ll continue loving puzzy but hating women, and those of us with enough sense to stay far away from them will continue with our fabulous lives.

    *hairflipbye*

    • Quirlygirly

      I would flip my hair in agreement but I have a bun so I will have to squeeze my bun in agreement

      • Kas

        So many comments to be made, but I’m going to be better than that . . . for once.

        • Quirlygirly

          Nawl Cletus- come one..make ya lil comment- LOL

      • L8Comer

        *squeezes my bun as well*

      • lmao i forgot i’m a bald-head scalywag now!

        *froshakebye*

        • Kas

          How are you doing?

  • Courtney Wheeler

    These men still exist in 2016. And I deal with them on a daily basis. Overall these “boys” (who I refuse to call men) are bothered that I’m clever..I have a great job…I’m well traveled, and generally un-bothered by your immature attacks. These boys yell things at you across the street but are quick to call you a b*tch if you don’t respond.

    Just last year I had a “boy” say to me, “Maybe if you didn’t think so high of yourself maybe you’d have a man.” “so what he’s basically saying is that if i reach lower I’d actually be attracted to you?” was my response.

    • Amber

      It runs deep in a lot of so-called good guys. The supposed educated, good job, and maybe well traveled guys. The why not me guys.

      • Courtney Wheeler

        The “nice guy syndrome” and I get it. It’s frustrating to see a jerk get the girl..the same why I feel when some bird brain girl gets the guy. But usually the nice guy has this in-bedded privilege where they expect to get the results they want. Which baffles me.

        • Duff Soviet Union

          “The “nice guy syndrome” and I get it. It’s frustrating to see a jerk get the girl.”

          Except the guy normally isn’t a jerk. The “nice guy” just thinks he’s a jerk because he’s sleeping with the woman he’s “entitled to”. It’s just jealousy. That and years of romantic comedies that reinforce that the “other guy” is always a jerk. This “chicks dig jerks” thing is completely ridiculous. Occasionally a woman might date a jerk because he has a lot else to offer, but she’s never dating him *because* he’s a jerk.

          NiceGuys think their problem is that they’re too nice, when their real problem is that they’re a passive aggressive asshole with an enormous sense of entitlement. Most women can see through these guys pretty easily.

          • Courtney Wheeler

            Well said..

          • eLLe D.

            SPEAK on it!!

      • HouseOfBonnets

        Meanwhile they don’t want to realize that maybe, just maybe the reason they’re not chosen lies within themselves.

      • cakes_and_pies

        I blame Steve Harvey, the lot of these second-tier hoteps and social media.

      • MsSula

        Fake nice guy syndrome is the worst. These dudes think they are entitled a cookie because they are “nice” guys. No, you are a nice person because that’s who you are. It will not necessarily endear you to someone and vice versa. Being nice is a quality, like being courteous or having a great memory. They are great tools to have in your arsenal but don’t mean jack if the person in front of you is not interested in you.

        • I blame Drake for this for he is the Patron saint of fake nice guys.

        • JamesInstagram

          I resent the whole idea that anyone — man or a woman — gets to determine if they’re a nice person. Yes, some of us try. But it’s actually other people who determine if you’re a nice person. It’s always been the worst people I’ve ever met who say, “Look, I’m a nice person.”

          • MsSula

            Exactly. It’s like how do you even determine that you are nice? How do you measure that, it’s not like being 6ft5 and above national average therefore being tall. What does being nice entail? How is it measured?

            Yup, self-proclaimed nice guys are a $$ holes in disguise, who given the opportunity would become fvckbois instantly.

      • MsCee

        Mannnn they are the absolute worst…I dated one and he was so far up his own a s s that there wouldn’t have been any room for me anyway…every single time we talked he was talking about how some woman had done him wrong and what a big mistake they made. Ummm sir, I’m not sure but maybe the fact that your personality is drier than nun plussy is the reason why women don’t stick around…not the fact that you’re a “nice guy.”

      • JennyJazzhands

        They ain’t even got to have all of that. A guy that lived in the apartment complex I used to work at (he’s a kappa) told me that my standards were to high and he could upgrade my life if I would just get with him. He never asked me out or for my number, he demanded and assumed that I would fall at his feet. I was like, “sir, I work here. I know where you work, how much you make and about the son you claimed on your taxes that no one’s ever seen. Please leave my office.”

        • ?Lauren?

          I knew nothing good was going to come from this after you said he was a Kappa. Noap!

          • JennyJazzhands

            I attract kappas like ants to a sugar cube. I don’t know why, though. They can physically see me roll my eyes and take that as an invitation to come tell me how much they could rock my world. Ugh.

      • Every man believes he’s entitled to a woman.

        He don’t even got to be good. He’s just got to be a man to feel he deserves one.

      • NonyaB

        Nice Guy syndrome = The “I put in 2 tokens of nice, so why hasn’t the machine dispensed my s*x yet?”

    • miss t-lee

      “Maybe if you didn’t think so high of yourself maybe you’d have a man.”

      Oh, this is rich…lol

    • That’s the kind of dude the seeks women that NEED to be validated

      • Courtney Wheeler

        It’s lovely to feel love but I also know at the end of the day if homeboy aint around to do so…I can do it myself…even if it is lonely and/or scary

        • LeeLee

          This is where I am right now.

          • Courtney Wheeler

            Same here dear…

      • MsCee

        Those are the kind of dudes that we VSS have to AVOID

    • Ess Tee

      Yeah, in that one sentence homeboy told you EXACTLY what type of man he is. He’s the kind to prey on insecure women and who are going through issues with their self esteem.

      • charisma_supreme

        ….and the fact they don’t understand that this is what they are admitting to confuses me

        • Ess Tee

          It’s because they’re dumb, quite literally.

    • MsCee

      Can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard something similar to this. Smh.

    • Glo

      My friend was out the other night, and when she told a dude he wasn’t interested he said, “See, this is why we don’t mess with black girls. You all think too highly of yourself.” She just shrugged and kept moving.

      • LadyJay?

        I like the fact that she didn’t engage and went on about her business. Silence is golden, at times.

      • Quirlygirly

        Two thoughts on this:

        1. She should think highly of herself. Who else is gonna do it for her?
        2. If a women with esteem is what ran him off then he needs to check his own self worth

        • ALM247

          You know what’s funny? For the last ten or so years several people in the media have made a point to tell women, often solely Black women, to lower their standards. I have pointed out to people how wrong this is, but no…..according to them we want too much.

          If I don’t have kids, I have the right to want to date a man without kids. If I have a decent job, I have the right to want to date a man with a decent job. Black women are pushed to expect and accept multiple children and multiple emotional issues from men.

          • LeeLee

            PREACH! Truth is, we don’t need to lower our standards. They need to raise theirs!

          • Cleojonz

            Exactly. I don’t think it is so wrong to aspire to someone bringing to the table AT LEAST as much as I am bringing. You own a car you don’t want to be dating some dude who needs to be dropping you off in our own ride while he goes off to somewhere.

          • B-Dot Willz

            Damn shame that I can only upvote that once

        • Courtney Wheeler

          It all boils down to their definition of what a “real man”..which is obviously very different then what I think a man is…

          • ALM247

            Yep. I have told folks that their definition of a good man is different from mine.

        • MsSula

          Why you going making so much sense???

        • Glo

          I mean, the mainstream is going hard on this idea of how great it is when beautiful women don’t know they’re beautiful, or when women don’t love themselves until a man loves them first. Idk why, but actually liking yourself is seen as a bad thing.

          • ALM247

            Probably because there are billions of dollars to be made on low self esteem. They want you to keep paying to “improve” yourself.

            • Deeds

              Admitting that you’re good is somehow wrong. This reminds me of some folks being upset that Simone Biles was stating that she was the only one that could do that flip that only she could do and she was somehow too cocky. I’m like she’s not being an a ss. She really is the only one that can do it, and somehow her stating that and being proud of that is wrong? Yea ok.

              • NonyaB

                I steer clear of fools too dumb to discern the difference between arrogance and confidence.

        • Maestro G

          You can’t fill a hole by digging out the bottom, and you can’t expect to move higher if you are bent over reaching lower. Know your worth, never settle, and never apologize for it, VSSs or VSBs, for that matter.

      • Courtney Wheeler

        Yup..because there’s a ton of other black, white, asian, latino etc That would mess with her…if they came correct.

      • Deeds

        “You all think too highly of yourself.”

        And this is supposed to be am insult.

        • Glo

          Right??

      • ?Lauren?

        I’m so tired of these “y’all ain’t sh*t” messages. Black men better hope the day never comes when we say “fuck y’all” then they really going to see who’s really down with them.

  • Skegeeaces

    Yeeeeeeeep.

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