***Today, VerySmartBrothas.com would like to introduce “Dear Champ“, a new bi-monthly segment where The Champ posts and answers questions from his Formspring account***
Dear Champ, How do I know if I’m really as attractive as people say I am?
as we proved with “the test” (and the results), physical attraction is a completely arbitrary determination. there are very few people (boris kodjoe, stacey dash, elastigirl, etc) who’d get a unanimous attractive consensus, so the rest of us need to interpret a complex algorithm of context, culture, aggregate sexual status of people who’ve said we’re attractive, and aggregate level of intoxication of people who’ve said we’re attractive to figure our own rating. with that said, if strangers consistently go out of their way to compliment your looks, you’re probably at the higher end of the attractive scale.
but, because you’ll probably never get a truly context-less assessment, if still dead-set on receiving a relatively objective opinion (and if you’re extremely thick-skinned), i’d submit a picture to a website like hotornot or okcupid.
Dear Champ, I have been talking to this guy for almost four months. We’re mostly honest with each other and we treat each like bf and gf. Only he says he isn’t ready for a gf. Should i wait on him for a lil bit or step?
i love how you put “we’re mostly honest with each other” in there, like you’ve made a pre-relationship pact with each other that allows for 1 to 3 hours of dishonesty per day. saying you’re “mostly” honest is like saying you’re “almost” pregnant.
anyway, like sister t wrote a few days ago, if you want to be in a relationship, and the guy you’re playing the “kickin it” game with tells you he’s not ready to be in a relationship, listen to him.
Dear Champ, my boyfriend of 1.5 yrs has, in relation to my past partners, a small penis. I’m left unfulfilled most of the time, even after vocalizing my likes and qualms…still blah. Here’s the issue. I love him. What to do? ditch it or work harder??
it’s interesting how this letter is worded. she doesn’t exactly say that her boyfriend has a small penis, just that he hasn’t been able to follow the footsteps of her mandingo exes. there’s a reason why “thou shall not try to directly follow the footer” is one of the 8 unspoken sexual commandments.
stumped for an answer, i asked my good friend, uber-popular video blogger lydia cotton, to weigh in.
“If the sex doesn’t have you thinking about what an ex is doing, stay. But, if he is drowning upon entry and is literally getting lost inside, have him kick rocks in traffic. When sex is bad in a relationship it will become at least 80% of that relationship, and all the good he does will start to look like nothing when you have a bad day at work and have to come home to a man who isn’t capable of knocking that bad day from your memory with his non-magic stick”
Dear Champ, I’ve been noticing that my hubby is more likely to initiate sex more when I am half sleep vs when I’m wide awake, willing & waiting. Any thoughts? My libido is way higher than his & I have NEVER EVER turned him down.
so, basically your typical evening looks like this: he’s sitting on the couch watching “hawthorne” reruns, and you come out of the bedroom in your sexiest lingerie and give him a lapdance. he barely notices, and he gets up halfway through your routine to go make a cheese sandwich. sad and horny, you go to bed. three hours later, you feel him rubbing ky in between your legs, and he sneak attacks you from behind.
seriously though, although low-libidoed men do exist, i think there might be a deeper issue here. have you spoken to him about sex? i bet you haven’t, and i also bet the bedroom isn’t the only place you’re having communication issues. you two need to talk as soon as possible.
Dear Champ, Why do men yell at me in the street like “Hey sexy!” or try to hit on me when I’m just waiting for a damn bus? Even after they see my wedding rings?! Does it ever work? Have any VSBs done it? Have any VSSs responded positively?
(some) men do this for the same reason we do anything else: it doesn’t take much effort, and it (occasionally) works. like it or not, these types of approaches actually do work with some women (i’ve seen it with my own eyes), and a man doesn’t know if you’ll be that woman unless he tries.
also, you probably won’t believe this, but the vast majority of men who do this on a regular basis do it out of habit. it’s a sort of a neanderthal reflex action. they know you’re not going to respond to them. in fact, they’d probably sh*t their pants if you actually turned around and approached them. it’s like the guy at the basketball game who screams “kobe, you’re a bitch”, even though they know if kobe actually turned around and came into the stands after them, they’d scream like neve campbell.
Dear Champ, What does a shy girl have to do to get the guy? My long-time friends know me as an outgoing, funny person but I have a hard time opening up to people I just met. I also don’t like crowds or traveling in “groups” so I don’t get out much. Any suggestions?
first, you have to get out. unless you’re interested in UPS men and stalkers, you’re not going to meet any men while you’re sitting on your couch. you’d put up a yard sign and an ad if you were trying to sell your house, right?
once you leave the house, i’d suggest you and ONE (yes, just one) of your girlfriends attend a few happy hours, mixers, gallery crawls, and other events where you have an opportunity to meet new people without getting too far out of your element. but, when you attend these events, you can’t sit around the entire time whispering in your friends ear. mingle and mix with the crowd. guys like to approach women who look like they’re having a good time, so have a good time.
lastly, i’d create a dating profile at match.com or one of the hundreds of thousands of dating sites out there. this way, you can actually meet men while sitting on your couch. but, i’d make sure they had current FBI clearances before inviting them over.
Dear Champ, Is smoking a deal breaker for most guys? I hate that I have to try and hide it everytime I meet someone new.
definite red flag? yes. definite deal-breaker? probably not…if he thinks you’re hot. my advice? quit
Dear Champ, Greetings and Salutations! How does a VSS break it to a VSB that she has a weave? I’m not on some Chris Rock ish and I hope you aren’t either. Sphincter. But, how does one introduce that truth (especially when one’s weave isn’t obvious)?
i have an absolutely crazy idea that just might be crazy enough to actually work. the next time you see him, tell him that you have a weave.
Dear Champ, What does it really mean when a guy says “you’re out of my league.” I often hear that from men, but I’m starting to feel like maybe guys just don’t want to do the work of approaching me or seducing me.
if a guy is speaking to you, he probably doesn’ t feel like he’s out of your league. the men who truly feel that way won’t bother to say anything to you.
whats happening here is game, pure and simple. he’s being intentionally self-depreciating just to try to convince you to say “hey, you’re not out of my league at all. in fact, to prove how true this statement is, here’s my phone number. btw, i’m not wearing any panties”
*you can contact dear champ at formspring.me/AskChamp and contact@verysmartbrothas.com*
—the champ
Moon Prism Power!
Yes! Gotcha Cheeks! Now let me go read this topic because it seems good…
lol, yup you got me…while I was sleep! Boom!!!
Seriously, though I didn’t even think I’d get it yesterday (hence the comment), though I did think it’ll be hilarious if I DID. I’ll be here all e-night.
Congrats, though!! *high five*
Whew! Andi, you on a roll! Congrats, lady!
Thanks boo! But it seems like Champ is the one on a roll! And is it me or did no one else comment for like a full 20 minutes…
Someone else can have first for the next week cuz I’m going on vacation B)
Great post Champ! I agree with whoever said you must be writing for “sweeps week” aka the Blog Awards. Ya’ll ain’t slick lol. These are some excellent responses though. I’m not even sure if I have anything to add. Clap Clap Bravo.
@Andi- You + Vacay= my rightful place on the top of the podium LOL nah Congrats, I see you
As for this post,
I see you Champ,
“Dear Champ, Is smoking a deal breaker for most guys? I hate that I have to try and hide it every time I meet someone new.”
Im just saying if your a VSB and you got millions to choose from why settle on a #basic chick who smoke. Now if Stacey Dash smoke, with her fine 50 year old ass, I might have to let it slide.
“How does a VSS break it to a VSB that she has a weave?”
Ahh the weave… Here’s my thing, why not rock your on top. Cause it seems like a was waste of money, and im definitely not financing some ish i dont even like.
“What does a shy girl have to do to get the guy”
To all the ladies, not just the shy girls, if you want to be approached out at an event party etc, don’t bring the half the salon with you because their only gonna hate so they dont have to go home alone, and Im not trying to battle through your 6 bodyguards to say hi.
And as the great prophet Kanye once said “not in joggin pants neither, tell her bring some sexy clothes”, we like that LOL
But hey maybe its jus me…
And as the great prophet Kanye once said “not in joggin pants neither, tell her bring some sexy clothes”, we like that LOL
But hey maybe its jus me…
lol, it’s not just you. while she’s shouldn’t start walking around butt naked, showcasing some of her assets isn’t a bad thing.
Walking around butt naked ain’t a bad thing either. Definitely would help with the shyness.
Great post Champ! I agree with whoever said you must be writing for “sweeps week” aka the Blog Awards.
so you’re saying the rest of my weeks are wack?????
@Andi – i said the same thing to him. I was like damn, you trying to win some awards this week, aren’t you?
“Great post Champ! I agree with whoever said you must be writing for “sweeps week” aka the Blog Awards.”
LOL
“my boyfriend of 1.5 yrs has, in relation to my past partners, a small penis. I’m left unfulfilled most of the time, even after vocalizing my likes and qualms…still blah. Here’s the issue. I love him. What to do? ditch it or work harder?? ”
Dear Coming Up Short,
Cut your losses, because it will never get any better. The longer you stay, the more you will wish you would have followed your vajayjay first mind and looked for someone who you are probably more sexually compatible with.
Signed Your VSS in Negronia,
Been There,Done ThatI’llGiveItaTry“Cut your losses, because it will never get any better. The longer you stay, the more you will wish you would have followed your vajayjay first mind and looked for someone who you are probably more sexually compatible with”
so, what is the solution for the guy?
He needs to perfect tongue and finger actions together with any other accessory available. Chex is more than the penetration part
He needs to perfect tongue and finger actions together with any other accessory available. Chex is more than the penetration part
@Anita,
Different strokes for different folks (no pun intended), but clearly penetration is part of the problem for ol’ girl and her lacking bf. All the tongue and finger work in the world isn’t compensating for her.
it has been written on vsb that the only reason why a dude doesn’t come back for more sex is when it’s bad. this couple has been together for a year, and yet 1 party is having bad sex. and clearly it’s not the dude. this one is on her. she has to take responsibility for her own sexuality and either man up and say something or leave.
@ Champ, Idk, I’m gonna say he can keep looking for someone who he’s sexually compatible with as well. Like my grandma used to say, there’s a lid for every pot.
Craigslist?
He needs to learn to work that thang and get some damn tricks. I’ve recently stopped dating a dude with a mini corn dog. And I think I he was my sexual soulmate. He knew he was small, but knew what do with it, i.e. what positions worked best and he paid lots of attention to EVERYTHING.
If he doesn’t know what to do with it, then a chick will definitely not know. Seek pleasure elsewhere and politely let him go dip in someone else’s mustard.
Seek pleasure elsewhere and politely let him go dip in someone else’s mustard.
how gay would it be to write “i want a hot dog” here?
Asian women?
Is it so wrong to talk with your man about adding some extra accessories to the bedroom? I mean if you’ve been together for 1.5 years and you can’t discuss pleasure or the lack there of, then you might as well walk away for both of your sakes. Give him an Op to find a P that appriaciates his finite quantity.
Find a girl who is not that much into chex… or doesn’t mind small-er pent!s… or is a virgin…. or is actually sexually compatible with her (because that’s really what the problem is… not really the size of the pent!s itself…)
I agree…I have experienced this…I tried to get past it but sadly his “size” problem was all I could think about…if the shoe doesnt fit…dont wear it!
I think its important we pay attention to her language in what she said. She said that her bf’s penis is small in relation to her sexual partners from the past. She never said he had a small penis. Therre is a difference.
Nonetheless, her revelation after 1 year of dating him is not surprising. We often correlate the size of our the opposite sex’s reproductive organs (breast, penis, booties, hips, nipples) to how good or not good their sex game is. Most of this is mental and purely biological.
It would be funny if she did move on and met a new guy and he broke up with her because her breast and her booty were not as big as the people from his past. She would be forced to eat a slice of Karma.
The question that I am wondering is, is the sex bad because she mentally craves a bigger d*ck and never gave his penis a fair chance from the start because of its size it relation to others she has seen?
or
Is the size of his penis not the issue and somehow he has not managed to please you because you have failed to communicate and work him so that he can satisfy you the way you wanna be satisfied.
Nonetheless, this has to be worked out..because clearly its an issue that is bothering her.
“Dear Champ, What does it really mean when a guy says “you’re out of my league.” I often hear that from men, but I’m starting to feel like maybe guys just don’t want to do the work of approaching me or seducing me.”
Those men could also view you as being on a lower tier than they are on. Also are these guys white, Asian, or uncool blerds? I have only met one brother, and he has debilitating height issues, who would tell a woman that she is out of his league.
Those men could also view you as being on a lower tier than they are on
lol, i haven’t met a guy bold enough to tell a woman that he’s above her pay grade. well, maybe roissy in dc, but i haven’t met him and i’m not sure he even exists.
interestingly, i’ve had a chick tell me that she was too good for me. LOL. of course, this is after i repeatedly (and intentionally) mistated her name and told her that even if she gave me her number i’d probably never use it since, well, i wouldnt remember her the next day anyway.
i was drunk. and she did not look like stacey dash when i was drunk.
industry rule #4081 – if i am drunk and you get uglier, Houston, we have a problem.
oh so apparently i offended her. she offended me first though…
btw for my DC hip hop heads, Jeru da Damaja was at Liv nightclub last night…and ripped it. like STRAIGHT ripped it. gave me a shoutout too (we had a shot or 4 and became fast friends). but MAN is that one talkative arse ninja.
PJ–You are dead wrong for this—> “she offended me first though…” Her face offended you huh? Hilarious, but dead wrong. LOL.
“interestingly, i’ve had a chick tell me that she was too good for me. ”
Next time on “My Life As a 3″, chick number 4578 tells Panama he’s not good enough.
Panama: Get with me, now.
Chick: Naw. You a ’2 plus 1.’ *skips away*
hahahaha! my life as a 3! good one, cheeks.
@Panama
“Jeru da Damaja was at Liv nightclub last night”
I missed it! (day official ruined) : (
I mean “officially” (even more sad now)
@Champ,
I exist
No Bullsh*t
I just read it right! I dunno why I read “i’m out of your league” but yeah…what kind of guys actually tells a woman “you’re out of my league”??? Either she’s a real bugga wolf or that guy is either gay or has some serious diva dude issues!
I cant believe i am saying this
good advice overall….
@shay-d-lady – i can’t believe you left a comment that didn’t take unnecessary jabs/shots/random you’re wrong moments.
must have been hard for you.
must have been hard for you
that’s what he said…LOL
*daps Jai*
Um…well, I TRIED to dap you, but that great wall of brown skin (aka yo avatar) is in my way.
can’t believe you left a comment that didn’t take unnecessary jabs/shots/random you’re wrong moments.
my shots are never unnecessary or random they are often very necessary and on point, which is what bothers you.
Dont hate me because of my beautiful logic…
but you can
hate DEEZ! LOL
Dear Champ, my boyfriend of 1.5 yrs has, in relation to my past partners, a small penis. I’m left unfulfilled most of the time, even after vocalizing my likes and qualms…still blah. Here’s the issue. I love him. What to do? ditch it or work harder??
introduce toys.. a a vibrating c.o.ck ring, a bullet? a p.e.nis extender sleeve….
an extender sleeve, tell me more… lol… wow just wow.
But anyhoo, I once had a bad chex relationship where everything else was fairytale, after I finally ran screaming away from that vanilla experience, I realized that he probably was overcompensating in all other areas because he HAD to know that his chex was not da bizness… like it was real real bad…. sigh
an extender sleeve?
thats cheating.
a p.e.nis extender sleeve….
…what the hell?
a p.e.nis extender sleeve….
what the hell is this? i’m afraid to google it since i’m at work. next thing you know the alarms go off and i look like the guy who looks up extender sleeves during the day at work.
“p.e.nis extender sleeve”
Crap now this ish is in my Google browsing history
Ok, please tell me about this sleeve. Like the others, I’ont wanna have this in my Google history…especially not at work. lol
on behalf of you all who want to know..but dont want to get fired..
i have googled it. the advantages of working for:
a) 2 gay men
b) the catering version of ally mcbeal (aka hella inappropriate)
c) a small company that doesnt have any sort of tracking on my internets activities…
Transform your penis into a super-c*ck! These multipurpose extenders fit smugly on your p*ni$ so that deeper penetration can be experienced by your partner, but that is just the beginning. These little treasures are not to be overlooked, especially since each is unique and offers a delightful variety of beads, vibrations, and G-spot ticklers. With any one of these extenders, the pleasure really will be magnified for both of you!
and i pretty much died @ superco*k.
you are welcome.
thank me later. drizzy.
ps: drake had his concert this past weekend and brought out the following surprise guests: em, hov, bunb, jeezy. needless to say..people pretty much lost their minds. proud of the lil hometown boy.
Oh, for a second there, I thought you wrote that keisha…but when you said you died @ super-c*ck I realized you copied and pasted. I was gonna say you should go into copywriting.
Regardless, thanks for the 411. Mary.
@cheekie,
yeah..i forgot the “/” marks.
beads? did someone say beads? Comic Book Guy’s secret is out!
Huh, what? Hush with all that, girl, before SFG gets any ideas. lol
@CBG: she already does…
Boy there you are! Get over here and stop frontin.
Mama got tricks fo dat @ss.
*Walks to his chair and takes his ruffie like a good boy*
Yeah, it’s been crucial at the J this week, plus the gym’s been kicking my @$$. My back and forearms feel like they have been beat with a bag of nickels. Got the 10 year reunion this weekend back home in Dallas so I get to see my Momma.
Boy don’t put your @ss and back in the same sentence. I’m at work. And a bag of nickels? We can work with it, pain can be pleasure sometimes.
(You started it)
*Smacks himself for mentioning bag of nickels around SFG*
Girl, I swear you have the mind of a 15 year old boy. lol You are hilarious.
Since I was 6
aint nothing wrong with me though…something is wrong with ya’ll. lol
Who said anything was wrong with that? Where were you when I was 6 trying to learn about what’s in between your…nevermind. You are such a bad influence. lol
my mom’s a dr so she would talk about d*ck at the dinner table. I just don’t get grossed out by anything. I was a super curious kid too. I don’t know why people are so taboo. They walk around with it swangin in Africa. Let us be free. Amistad.
Oh, see, that explains it. Totally understand now. People I know whose parents are medical professionals or are themselves are usually pretty open about stuff like that. I understand how you feel about the taboo thing. I always was fascinated about how open TV was in Europe compared to the censorship in the US. What’s wrong with topless news broadcasters? As long as they don’t look like rolled out pizza dough, show me some b**bs with my evening news.
LMAOOOOOOOOOO!
“superco*k.”
Sooooo does it come with a cape and its own layer? Are your b*lls like sidekicks or something?
@Rog
bruhahahahahaaaaaaaa…. i guess so!
i think when discussing a man’s nether region from now to reference it as either batman and robin (B+R) or superhero duo. (SHD)
bruahahahaahaa….
Wow. So it’s a prosthetic appendage.
Like putting a silencer on the end of a g*n.
Sort of like weaves and fingernail tips. It gives added length and body, but doesnt actually change anything biologically.
Interesting.
Go-go gadget d*ck.
“Go-go gadget d*ck.”
Mr SoBo is responsible for the murder of Cheekie. For the record.
“Sort of like weaves and fingernail tips. It gives added length and body, but doesnt actually change anything biologically”
oh how i’ve missed reading SoBo. lmao!!!! mi so dead!
Where have you been??? Oh sorry, I sound like your woman. It’s nunna my business…just don’t do it again. Now go bathe yuh body and sekkle in. We have nuff fi chat bout
“Go-go gadget d*ck.”
Bwahahahahahha
a p.e.nis extender sleeve…I haven’t seen those in stores yet
RIGHT!!!
that was fun.
i’m glad you had a good time
“i’m glad you had a good time”
Why did this make me crack up harder than anything I’ve read in the past 40 minutes?
I’m cracking up at you cracking up. LOL
lol yay!
The “women who need to do kegels” tag is everything to me.
lol, it’s true though. while i understand that there’s a lid for every pot (and some pots are bigger than others) there are some women with cavernous ass pots.
If the ass pot is cavernous, the guy really has a problem.
So Champ has finally decided to make one of those “I don’t feel like typing ish” posts. And he was kind enough to let us know how often we would get to see this creative approach. LOL!
(just a little poking on my part. Boyfriend of 1.5 years)
So Champ has finally decided to make one of those “I don’t feel like typing ish” posts
#onlyatvsb
…does a 1400 word post fall under “the champ doesn’t feel like typing” category
…does a 1400 word post fall under “the champ doesn’t feel like typing” category
yes.
It does if you’ve already answered these questions. . . then a 1400 word post just becomes an exercise in copy and paste.
To the girl who’s dating the short short man, if he’s really good with the tongue action, toys (and the like) and creative positioning, you could make this work. If he’s unwilling to step outside of the box to get the job done, chunk ol’ boy the deuce, because you will continue to be unfulfilled.
wow. some rational advice from the throat punch queen. who’d a thunk it?
CTFU. It’s a candy coated raindrops kinda week.
Dear Champ,
Why do females brag to their friends about how good their man is in bed or what he does to/for her? Then, why are these females surprised to find out that her man and said friend is now jumping off behind her back? *smh*. Ladies, ZIP your lip! My girls never hear about how good my man is to me. I’m not speaking from experience but I’ve seen it happen numerous times. *cough, cough, ahem*
I think the better question is why are her friends a bunch of scallywag, skanka$$ ho*s? I’ve heard tales my homegirls’ $exual escapades with their bfs, and trying to try out her man for myself never entered my mind. Who are these chicks?
I think the better question is why are her friends a bunch of scallywag, skanka$$ ho*s? I’ve heard tales my homegirls’s $exual escapades with her man, and trying out her man for myself never entered my mind. Who are these chicks?
I’m with you N.I.A. These chicks weren’t your friend if they got with your man.
mmm hmmm
I agree with NIA. Those aren’t friends just man hungry jealous shank heiffers.
Scallywag skank@$$ ho*s generally run in packs. So more than likely, the homegirl sharing bedroom stories is one too. So she should have already known better than to bring her man around her fellow feathered birds. That’s her sillyhoeness mistake.
I thought that was h0e rule #1 anyway. Never tell your circle of h0e friends about your man’s performances.
The best* question is why she is still friends with those chicks? The d!ck was so good she couldn’t blame them?
* I am the king of superlatives b!tches!
Exactly!! She needs better friends… or a better judgment of people generally, because the boyfriend is no prize either… *smh*
Why do females brag to their friends about how good their man is in bed or what he does to/for her?
because women are crazy. welcome and sh*t, btw
Maybe they think their friends are decent eople. You’d have to be a real skeezer to sleep with your friend’s man regardless of what you heard.
to the sister with the weave…. starting your messages with greetings and salutations does not help your case.
to the sister dating the short stack…. too many words in that question, it’s as simple as this ‘is it worth leaving him over’. if it is, then okay. if it isn’t theres always a way to make the sex better.
to the sister out of everyones league…. what the f*ck. why wonder about exactly why somebody says you’re out of they’re league. if nothings gonna get poppin then move on. that just sounds like another way of saying ‘this wouldnt work out’. don’t dwell.
and if you hear it too often to ignore date w.in your league, problem solved.
To the sister married to the sexsomniac, do it so much during the day that he’s knocked out at night. Or maybe you could wait to fall asleep until you’ve had sex for the night…or WAIT, how about you just say ‘im about to go to bed, you wanna have sex now or in the morning’
To the first question, you’ve already wasted four months on the dude…why waste a second more?
Since you didn’t write an entry to comment on, i thought, what else is there to do at 1.21 am, so i gave the q’s a stab.
btw “saying you’re “mostly” honest is like saying you’re “almost” pregnant.” *zinger
Since you didn’t write an entry to comment on, i thought, what else is there to do at 1.21 am, so i gave the q’s a stab.
lol, that’s kind of the point. good job
Lol champ, me thinks i falling in love with you. . . I kid. . . To some extend. Lol. You on fire this week.
To the weave chic. . . . Really how about let him see your real hair, small small man chic run, run. Gurl aint nothing worse than bad sex in a relationship no how good he is.
To the weave chic. . . . Really how about let him see your real hair, small small man chic run, run. Gurl aint nothing worse than bad sex in a relationship no how good he is.
so the women with the fake hair gets a pass, but the guy with the condition he cant control doesnt? smh. damn, damn james
To the lady with the weave…. He probably already knows and is pretending he doesn’t see it.
Brilliant!!!!
Brilliant!!!!
thanks and shit
Dear Champ,
Why am i just getting back from a blind double date with my best friend and with this chick he met on Tagged! and her friend?
Answer: Because he’s my best friend and he needed me to run interference.
Her:“You’re so deep! You should be a philanthropist!”
@Shay – sounds like a hit-on-the-first-night candidate. or at least the kind of chick you just have to take to the movies to hit off.
Spider sense was telling me they were underage. Imma need to see ID before I smash.Folks be lyin on the interwebs. They said they were 21, but they reminded me of chicks I messed with in high school.
Her:“You’re so deep! You should be a philanthropist!”
THIS IS A LIE!! I DO NOT BELIEVE THIS!
Bwahahahahaha!
I almost spit my water up @ “greetings and salutations”
I seriously figured one of the VSB regulars wrote that. lol Like, um…ComicBookGuy.
Haha. Sorry Cheeks, wasn’t me.
You lying.
Lol, sorry, it wasn’t me. Shaggy.
I considered myself a well-spoken guy, but “Greetings and Salutations” is a big much. “Saluations” would have worked fine for me. Besides, the question was from a woman about weave, and I just got a haircut yesterday.
Fine.
“You lying.”
You ain’t never met Martin Luther the King?
I’m done with you and your eye monocle.
Humble’s Answers
Dear Champ, How do I know if I’m really as attractive as people say I am?
There are a few ways you can tell on a strictly physical level.
1)Do you demand and always get your way?
2)Are men telling you that you look to good to (insert task here). You should be taken care of.
3)Has a dude asked to eat the p***y without getting anything in return?
4)Are wealthy men or men of status approaching you?
5)Do men compliment you on your looks to the point it gets annoying?
If you’ve answered yes to 4 out of 5 of these questions you are attractive as people say you are.
Dear Champ, I have been talking to this guy for almost 4 months. We’re mostly honest with each other and we treat each other like bf and gf. Only he says he isn’t ready for a gf. Should I wait on him for a lil bit or step.
Wow this is different. I have never met a woman that would wait on a man. Mostly honest? WTF is mostly honest? What does that mean? You two are honest at convenience? Anyway coming from a dude that use to tell women this I would move on. If you want a relationship and he isn’t ready move on. At the same time I would not totally write him off. Men may not want a serious relationship b/c he is not where he wants to be in life, enjoys his freedom, focused on career, just got out of a relationship, etc. So he may be open to a gf just not at this moment. I would keep the line of communication open with him but in the mean time do your thing. You might find someone you like more than him.
Dear Champ, Why do men yell at me in the street like “Hey sexy!” or try to hit on me when I’m just waiting for a damn bus? Even after they see my wedding rings?! Does it ever work? Have any VSBs done it? Have any VSSs responded positively?
1)Men yell “Hey sexy” and hit on you when you’re waiting on the bus because they find you attractive and the want to hit. You waiting on the bus doesn’t have any affect on your appearance unless you are Jay-Z or Kanye West.
2)Yes it does work. If it didn’t work men wouldn’t do it.
3)VSBs don’t do this now. They may have done it as teenagers or in college.
4)Yes VSSs have responded positively. Remember this: If a dude approached you in a way you find offensive or a way that turned you off there were quite a few members of your gender that responded positively. If it didn’t work he wouldn’t do it. You would be amazed at the positive responses of women to what I’ve seen men say and do when approaching a woman.
“VSBs don’t do this now. They may have done it as teenagers or in college”
@Humble One
aww…pumpkin…if you only knew…if only….
@Keisha Brown
“aww…pumpkin…if you only knew…if only….”
I said VSB. If a dude is doing this I don’t think we can call him a Very Smart Brotha.
Dear Champ, How do I know if I’m really as attractive as people say I am?
There are a few ways you can tell on a strictly physical level.
1)Do you demand and always get your way?
2)Are men telling you that you look to good to (insert task here). You should be taken care of.
3)Has a dude asked to eat the p***y without getting anything in return?
4)Are wealthy men or men of status approaching you?
5)Do men compliment you on your looks to the point it gets annoying?
If you’ve answered yes to 4 out of 5 of these questions you are attractive as people say you are.
this is a good attractive aptitude test. i might have to steal it
LMBO!@Humble_One
I love this:
Dear Champ, How do I know if I’m really as attractive as people say I am?
3)Has a dude asked to eat the p***y without getting anything in return?
Good one. That was my highschool days and fast forward to present day. lol
@SmartFoxGirl
Men trying to eat the p for free. And you want to front like dudes ain’t always in your face trying to holla.
LOL! My current guy “friend” is so thirsty for me. (pause) I don’t feel selfish either. Who am I to deny him? I told him no chex so he just compromised. Compromising is key. I aint neva say dudes don’t try to holla.
my boyfriend of 1.5 yrs has, in relation to my past partners, a small penis. I’m left unfulfilled most of the time
ah yes…I too have fallen victim to lackofpackage. Let’s call my ex…*Perncil. *Perncil and I dated for a couple of years. I was going thru something at the time and I could not honestly tell you why I stayed for as long as I did (I was yung and in ‘love’). Having my annual Pap w/the metal piece (women understand) was better than sleeping with dude. Alas, I stayed. No ‘special kisses’ in my nether region could compensate for what *Perncil was lacking… and still, I stayed. Then I made a trip to the adult Toys R Us and purchased some Duracell friendly toys. I finally remembered what I had been missing! I use to leave work early just to get home and….neva mind. Point is, once I remembered what I had been missing (he was an azzwhole on top of everything else), I broke up with him.
Either you grin and bear (pause) it or you bounce. It’s not going to magically grow overnight. (Unlike what Jimmy Johnson says…smh)
@Jai – first of all, I quit you AND your avatar. And thanks for reminding me about Jimmy Johnson Xtenze commercials *stomps out of post*
hahahahahahaha Jai. Man boobs are sexay! But yeah, I got ridiculous once and decided that I was going to leave my ex to experience “life”. We hit an ultimate low in our relationship and I found myself distancing emotionally so I decided to leave. Met an indian man who was intellectually on my level and he was foine! Chemistry was good. I decided I was going in…then I saw it. x_x I was at the “too late to change your mind point”…it was the smallest thing ever. It felt terrible. It was just awful. I’m still traumatized. Let’s just say I went back to my ex and haven’t “experimented” yet.
@SFG you said “too late to change your mind point”…
um darling i once told a small man to take that bic and go write a letter. and asked why he had me waste my money @ Fredericks for that. yes i was young and stupid. nevertheless he was gone and i moved on.
Lmmmmaaaaaaoooooo!! He was a buff guy, I was scared. I just took it for the team. He was a 2 pump man anyway. It was over soon.
“um darling i once told a small man to take that bic and go write a letter. and asked why he had me waste my money @ Fredericks for that.”
*DEAD* I swear it took everything in my not holler laughing in this office. Damn I got my door open and ish, yall can’t be doin this to me.
LMAO!!!!!!!! GANGSTA! I hope I never have to say this to someone, but if I am unfortunate to come across a lil peen, this WILL be the reaction.
I know you didn’t ask me, but….(my $0.02)
Dear Champ, How do I know if I’m really as attractive as people say I am?
Ask men which celebrity you most resemble. If you get more of the women that men make exceptions in their vows for, you are gawjeous. (A friend of mine did a fine chick bracket big dance style and Paula Patton defeated Kerry Washington in a runoff. No way Kerry loses to anyone.)
Oh and this question is useless without photos.
Dear Champ, I have been talking to this guy for almost 4 months. We’re mostly honest with each other and we treat each other like bf and gf. Only he says he isn’t ready for a gf. Should I wait on him for a lil bit or step.
Mostly honest == Hilarious. Your lying behind needs to have a truthful convo with his lying behind. W/O truth, a relationship will NEVA work.
Dear Champ, Why do men yell at me in the street like “Hey sexy!” or try to hit on me when I’m just waiting for a damn bus? Even after they see my wedding rings?! Does it ever work? Have any VSBs done it? Have any VSSs responded positively?
Errybody said it, I’m just co-signing. Because not enough women call men out for it and sometimes it works. It ain’t my steez but we men are logical like that. If it ain’t working, we stop.
“Ask men which celebrity you most resemble. If you get more of the women that men make exceptions in their vows for, you are gawjeous”
you know what though? some guys will tell a tyrone hill twin that she looks like kenya moore if he thinks he’s going to get some, so i dont know how reliable this is.
True, but most ninjas are not gonna lie all the time. You might get a Jill Scott here or a Laila Ali there as outliers. Gladwell. However, if most cats say you look like Whoopi, there’s your sign.
Dear Champ, Why do men yell at me in the street like “Hey sexy!” or try to hit on me when I’m just waiting for a damn bus? Even after they see my wedding rings?! Does it ever work? Have any VSBs done it? Have any VSSs responded positively?
This absolutely scared the isht out of me when I’m out jogging. There have been a few times where I’ve stopped at a red light/stop sign and the passenger opened the door tryna holla. I thought I was
going to end up on the 6 o’clock news. Hahahahha, when have you ever seen a missing Black woman on Nancy Grace?going to end up missingThis absolutely scared the isht out of me when I’m out jogging. There have been a few times where I’ve stopped at a red light/stop sign and the passenger opened the door tryna holla.
whenever i car slows down near me while i’m walking, i reach for my waist like i’m carrying a gun.
#signsthatyou’vewatchedboyzinthehoodonetoomanytimes
“i’d suggest you and ONE (yes, just one) of your girlfriends attend a few happy hours, mixers, gallery crawls, and other events where you have an opportunity to meet new people without getting too far out of your element. but, when you attend these events, you can’t sit around the entire time whispering in your friends ear. mingle and mix with the crowd.”
Amen. And another thing – make eye contact with the guys you think you may be interested in. Don’t use your girfriend as your shield against making yourself vulnerable to the holler in a public situation.
Don’t use your girfriend as your shield against making yourself vulnerable to the holler in a public situation.
i actually read somewhere yesterday that the shield chick with her back to you (in a group of two women) is usually the one who’s most interested
@Champ – Hahaha this is actually me. I’m not shy once I’m actually talking to a guy but I’m always a little shy in that initial phase when they’re across the room or a few seats down at the bar. I never want to come off like a floosie or look too thirsty (like ‘damn i’ont want that n*gga thinkin i’m all riding his sh*t’), so I’m always looking away or pretending not to acknowledge… but my SO has told me its actually the opposite for him. He would more likely approach the girl thats giving him, as he calls, “rhythm”, than the chick whos looking away or with her back to him.
I personally think thats just being lazy and afraid of rejection. But then again maybe some chicks wouldn’t be complaining about being single if they were more of a go-getter…. #unsolveddatingmysteries
Noodles, though?
i was hungry last night
Valid.
@ Cheekie- and hunger get what hunger want. lol
Good advice, Champ! Right now, at this moment, you’re having the best week ever.
For the chick with the weave, stop wearing weave.
For the lady with the “little man”, try different positions, introduce toys into the situation. How is his oral game?
For the lady dealing with dude who is not ready for a gf, leave him, and find a man ready for a gf. Why should you treat him like a bf, if he’s not gonna claim you as a gf? When a person tells you they aren’t ready, you should believe them, and move on, not stay and try to wait him out.
@N.I.A.
why stop wearing weave?
As a non-weave wearer, I think its pointless if you focus on having a healthy head of hair, whether your hair is long or short. And, its starting to become an epidemic of sorts, for all races of women.
However, I know women who enjoy wearing them for a change in style, etc. If you’re dating a guy and he doesn’t know its a weave, tell him as soon as possible so he won’t feel like he fell for the okiedoke.
@NIA
i respect your opinion. i think there is a difference in actually fronting like the hair is yours (reciept and all) as opposed to it being a lifestyle choice.
i also think the reasons behind wearing should also be examined. i know for a long time, i was wrapped up in the ties it had to my self esteem, so eventually phased it out on a regular basis. i can’t really say if i’ve been approached more or less with my natural hair. but i can say that i finally feel better about me no matter how my hair is styled.
that being said, this summer has been hot as HADES and unless i want a super-drip curl, didn’t want to be weighing down my own hair with tons of products. so i’ve been having fun!
if someone asks, i tell them. this is one advantage to dating black dudes..they usually know better than to ask. and if they get to the point where fingers are coming close into contact..they’ll find out soon enough.
there are many things that we (women) use to enhance and present ourselves in the best light. hair is just one of them.
I know what you look like and I think you look pretty! Weave is like an accessorie to enhance one’s appearance. The only women who say “no one should wear weave” are the one’s who are natural like myself but I never say that. Who am I to tell you what not to do with yourself. I just don’t like when sistas front and start talking about “bald headed” chicks…then I gotta be like “girl I know you, and you bald headed too”…it just leads to fighting. *sigh*
I have natural hair but I am not against tastefully done and well cared for weaves. If I had a special occasion or a wedding or something, I might get one. I just have a problem with the tacky, ratty weaves. That ish looks awful. Chicks be havin no shame in the game.. edges lookin all raggedy, weave be lookin all ratty and frizzy at the end.. Ugh gross.
But I am not against weave and I understand that women have a variety of reasons for wearing them, not just cause she doesn’t have any hair. Sh*t, white girls be getting weaves now… They had pictures of the Kardashian sisters gettin that weave tightened up.. You wouldn’t think they would even need it.
So take that all you hatin a** diva dude uppity n*ggers talmbout “I dont date girls w weaves” lol.
Half of these ninjas don’t even know their girl has a weave. My guy friend was talmbout “beyonce got long hair”…-_O Ninja please. Btw, I cosign the ratty weaves gotta go!
@SFG:
why thanks! lol @ the i know what you look like….
i think its fabulous there is a natural hair movementation happening, but it sometimes disguises the judgement that women still pass on each other. if i feel for some reason or another that getting a weave will help me feel/look (fill-in-the-blank), why should it matter to you? i swear there is a deep dark competition thing amongst all females that we need to root out and kill. i am not taking food off ya plate, your man out ya bed or money out ya pockets. let me get my shine on!
thanks,
management.
Hey Girl…. Long time, no post (for me). I’ve been lurking because I’m really busy at work.
I’m commenting on the weave dillema because I just saw the movie “Good Hair” last week and my friends and I were discussing it.
My 2 cents is that I’ve never a met a man that PREFERS weave. The men that I know actually Prefer women to wear their own hair -no matter the length or texture. It’s kind of like the women who spend an inordinate amount of money to dress trendy or buy expensive designer purses. If you are trying to attract a quality brother, weave and Gucci is not going to help.
I wear make-up and figure-flattering clothes to temporararily ENHANCE what God gave me but I don’t try and REPLACE what God gave me with artifical add-ons. Plus, GOOD weave cost a lot of money and one can invest that money in hair vitamins, quality hair products or an expensive hair cut. Just my opinion
*nods head in agreement, walks away*
Hi Princess!!!
*waves..
I understand what you are saying. I think it always boils down to how someone feels about themselves as a whole and specifically about certain parts. My parents blessed me with nice skin, so I rarely wear makeup (I also like sleep). While I like the look of french manicures, the removal process of artificial nails is not worth it. Some women colour their hair and wear diff coloured contacts – all for something fun and different from what God gave them.
I know there was a certain point where I thought my few extra lbs, my lack of beyonce hair and 4eyes were the reason why I was single and not attracting anybody I wanted. And with the exception of surgery, getting a weave was the fastest way to change my appearance. As I started to feel more attractive, I walked with a lil more sashay which of course is what the dudes are more attracted to than anything else.
It took me a while to get there, and Chris’ movie was eye-opening. I hadn’t relaxed my hair in a decade, but I didnt make the connection to my internal and external until then.
I recently told my nephews that soon I would have to take them to a museum to see a woman with real hair. I just dont understand it, back in the 1930′s and 1940′s and sh*t when black folk barely had TV’s and voting rights, I always see pictures of black women with heads full of hair, rocking pearls and sh*t. All classy wit it. Has technology gotten us nowhere? Women put horse hair and other women’s hair’s (indian women) in their head and call themselves dimes. its hilarious.
Chicks these days got time to update twitter 24 hours but dont have time to run a hot comb through them naps. I’m sick of it.
She gonna have to fess up and tell old boy, because he probably is confused.
Ugh *stomping feet* I love talking about sex, penis, love, all that greatness but I’ve been revealing too much about myself and my sexuality. I have a few friends who lurk and have yelled at me for all that I reveal so I promised to keep my nastiness to myself.
I’ll make an exception for today only.
EVERY woman loves big d*ck. I’m used to one that is hung but it wasn’t just that that made it good…it was his stroke. It made me literally excited about sex. I wanted it too much because he was that good. I realize that woman can’t make a good lover out of a man, he has to be good or it won’t be good unless we’re on top…and if he has a small package well you can just forget it. Enjoy the eating, fingers and toys if you love him.
Who cares about your “level” of attractiveness. I think that’s a silly question. If men are attractive to you, great. If they’re not then work on your appearance. I dunno. I smoked back in the day and trust me it can be a deal breaker. Men don’t like it. I never forget this man grabbed the cig out of my hand and broke it. Women with weave need to stop frontin like it’s theirs. If no one asks, don’t tell but don’t act like it’s yours…especially if it transforms your looks. That’s false advertising. And let me give you a little P.S.A. weave always looks like weave. You think people don’t know but we do. Especially if he touches your head. Just be honest. Finally, if a guy tells you he’s out of your league. That’s him saying “listen, I can tell you’re a nice girl and I have too many flaws”.
@SFG:
the great part about the VSB fam is the sharing. sharing after IS caring… (wait..where is SoBo at? haven’t heard from him in a min..alas..)
if you are cool with what you’ve shared, dont let anyone else tell u otherwise. i figure this: if future employers googled you, and there is nothing incriminating to stop you from getting hired..then you are fine. otherwise…it’s not the e-serious.
my 2.97 cents
Yes, SmartFoxGirl please continue sharing. I enjoy reading truth from the horse’s mouth about all that greatness, so to speak. Sharing is caring.
Oh, and smoking is a deal-breaker for me. How are you supposed to be a good mother for my child if you are killing yourself like that?
@KB and SoulPowa
Okay I will try to keep it pg-13…after all ya’ll can see bits of my face. Oh and yeah smoking is disgusting. I quit because of motherhood. I’m a single mom and I need to live “forever” in my daughters terms.
“…and I need to live “forever” in my daughters terms.”
That is too sweet and good for your quitting.
Lol. Quick story: she learned in church that people actually die at 99. (yes that’s what she said) So she prayed to Jesus that I would live to 200. I said that’s not possible, it’s like living forever. She was straight faced too and told me she needs me to live forever. That was the day I started working out again, never miss an exam of any kind, I even take a multi vitamin every day and eat right. I gotta live forever. I’ll try. lol
I love that story. My sister had been my inspiration for the past few years for me to take better care of myself. She contracted lupus 6 years ago and she changed her entire life. She started with the South Beach Diet and now doesn’t eat red meat and only time she eats pork is when I smoke ribs. She was even teaching babies how to swim and she has kept the weight off and she stays in the gym. My mom beams because her two youngest children are taking better care of themselves because she doesn’t want us to end up diabetes like her and a lot of folks in our family. I really think people at my reunion this weekend will not recognize me from high school. I look the same but 85 lbs from 10 years ago is a big difference.
I’m sorry your sister has lupus. She can live a good life with discipline. I pray for her. Have fun at your reunion. I can see you walking in like a built Stephaun Urkel lookin all sexy
Thanks for your prayers, but there is no need to feel sorry for her. She is stubborn like her mom and brother so she has definitely not let lupus stop her from doing anything. She really is one of my heroes because she is the best of health and it really has been from her own discipline. We lost someone really close to us from lupus when I was in college and my sister was diagnosed a few months later so we were scared but she wasn’t. She got in the gym, started eating better and helped my mom eat better, too. I got some pretty strong women in my family. They have really kept me grounded.
That’s really sweet CBG. I can tell your mom and sis are your world.
Yeah, they really are. My 90 year old grandmother says that if she doesn’t anything else about me, she will always remember me looking out for my sister even when I was 5 years old, making sure she was okay, even if I was playing with my cousins. My dad has 6 sisters so that is something he kinda instilled in me at a young age.
@SFG:
we all grown folk. if i wanted pg-13..id go see a disney movie. bring on the NC-17! (what is that anyways? we dont have that here. either PG or R).
and yay for the quitting! i dont know why it offends my soul when i see black women smoking. maybe cuz i know we (black peeps) age gracefully (black dont crack y’all!) and i see it as a slap to the face to our ancestors and heritage of skin other cultures would botox/die for. *kanyeshrug
I find it odd to see black people smoking period. It seems so unatural. Like its some weird phenomenon.
Whenever I see a brother or a sistah smoking, I always ask myself, “How did you get into that? Thats wh*te people’s sh*t”.
Yeah, I said it. SoBo what.
@SoBo: co-sign.
Okay just for you KB cause I lub ya! …I actually picked up smoking when i was on maternity leave (I know!). I’m a busy body and hyper so it killed me being home all day. I started smoking 1 or 2 at night (bad for breast feeding) because I went through this period where I couldn’t sleep and would be up all night. The only time I slept was for 2 hours in the day when she would nap. Then it just got out of control. I think I was depressed or something. I dunno but I’m soooo glad I quit.
Good for you for having the will power to stop smoking SFG. My ex smoked those Black and Mild all day, every day and it really bothered me because he had children and I thought he would die early like my Father did (Dad died of lung cancer).
Anyway, your sharing on VSB is refreshing and makes your posts seem authentic. Do you girl!
Frogprizilla
Hey FP! What it do boo? lol aint seen you. Thanks. I quit cold turkey cause I’m an animal. I’m sorry about your dad. Addictions are real.
I’m actually w/ SoBo on this one…it does seem unnatural. But it esp. irritates me when I see a VSS smoking. Seeing a sista smoke instantly knocks her attractivness down a couple of points for me…it’s equivalent to her putting a big ol’ turd up to her lips (how you expect anyone to kiss you and you got fecal matter all around your lips?)
u makin me laugh!…plus you should read on what it does to your insides. Scary.
“it was his stroke”
That is all he needs really. I think it just so happens that larger men have better strokes because they have more self-confident when it comes to the act. There is nothing worse than a big man and a BAAAD stroke. lol
“There is nothing worse than a big man and a BAAAD stroke. lol”
Agreed.
Cosign. Do big men with bad strokes exist? That should be illegal.
“Do big men with bad strokes exist”
I had to kick one out my house once, so yes, they do. Most disappointing thing ever. How you got all that jank and can’t f**k? FOH.
Oh yes, they unfortunately do… It’s a shame and a problem all rolled up into one. Le big sigh. pun intended.
LMBO
There is nothing worse than a big man and a BAAAD stroke. lol
Please, please, preach that gospel on the mountain tops… please!
Ok first Boris K does absolutely nothing for me, some folks may in fact be attractive and the masses co-sign this but they don’t just don’t ring your bell!! Idris Elba too..
Secondly some of these questions Champ SMH LLS!!!!!!
Come on now you know Kobe ain’t built like that LOL
“Ok first Boris K does absolutely nothing for me, some folks may in fact be attractive and the masses co-sign this but they don’t just don’t ring your bell!! Idris Elba too..”
As you’ve named TWO of the only niccas that I constantly swoon over as niccas that do nothing for you (and thus thankfully decreasing the groupie list for me even just by one), can I ask you who does? Do it for ya?
LLS,Cheekie and Jai, now I lubs me a disnguished mofo fo sho, I caught a clip of Joey Galloway this week, @ 38 he is looking right, graying beard, body RIDIC, YUMMY and then he seasoned properly not as dark I as I prefer but oh well LOL
I generally likes me a handsome BLACK athletic build sexy mofo like Santonio Holmes, Javon Kearse, Jordan in his NBA prime, dudes like that tickle my fancy honey, all day erryday LOL I even took a licking to Michael Jai White, he is DOPE, not as dark as I preder but DOPE none the less!
NOt licking, liking LLS oh Lawd LOL
@Orange…yes just another reason to go to a Redskins game!
@Orange Star
YASSSS!!!! BRING ON THE NFL!!!!
*sorry for the yelling. rass. longest. offseason. EVER.
@Orange…BK does absolutely nothing for me (outside of the red light special vid). Idris is looking better now that he is going gray (swoon)!
@Jai
What in the hell…?! Your Avatar. Of all your avatars, this is the one. This is the one. lol. Wow.
@Mr SoBo …and yes that is a man LOL
He look like he’s checkin’ for lumps and masses…no joke.
Ok first Boris K does absolutely nothing for me
I am with you. He does absolutely NOT A SINGLE THING for me.
Idris on the other hand…. hmmmm!
on a completely irrelevant note..
i had to share this with yall.
pls note my jaw is still on the ground.
http://www.thestar.com/news/world/article/844173–woman-s-facebook-shock-her-husband-s-second-wife
Da hell?????? Never in the history of nigg@dom have I seen such foolery. And you’re gonna let him have your kids? I would be in Mexico sippin on margaritas watching my baby play in the sand. Neva dat!
I saw that on Yahoo today and was going to post it earlier. That sh!t there is ill. It wasn’t like the man was trying to lay low about hit. He had 200 wedding pictures on facebook and got married at Disney. Crazy.
On top of that ol’ boy takes the kids away? He lucky that aint a sista, he would singing with the demons right about know! Thats some crazy sh*t
i wanna know what he means by they werent really ever married…
if a certificate was never signed..then yes. otherwise..
but yes, the stealing of the kids.. i dont know why police cant do anything. abduction is abduction, no matter by whom correct?
The hell??
I’m mad he was dressed as Prince Charming in the incriminating photos, when he is ANYTHING but. lmao
This $hit is wild! I would have my cousins Pookie and dem go get my son and break his ankles.
That is really wild. Props to him though.
Women kidnap children from men all the time -albeit the court system.
He’s a lowlife for carrying on another relationship while married and going about things the way he did.
But he’s a hero for taking his children. He struck first.
That’s a psuedo-hero move.
SoBo
this um..sarcasm right? im sleepy and hungry so my sarcasm detector is slightly off.
Sometimes I just wanna strangle you…then bring you back to life.
She was on the Today show… The marriage is not “legal”… There was a clerical error (they got married in Italy, I think) so he didn’t think he needed to divorce…
In relation to a portion of the topic, and some of the comments made upthread, I am prompted to ask the following:
VSS’, what is a ‘hung’ man?
Post a pic of yours and I’ll tell you if you’re hung or not. o_O
“Post a pic of yours and I’ll tell you if you’re hung or not. o_O”
*muerte*
Bwhahahahahahahahahaha!!!
Sign me up as a judge also!
SmartFoxGirl FTW!!!
the saying goes…if you have to ask……
Im just saying
@SFG
If you ever did see it, your mouth would be too full to tell me anything.
@Jai
Since VSS’ are not all of one mind, I ask to see what types of varying responses may be given.
O.O oh hell naw! somebody hold me back!! dis ninja finna get it!
Go ahead and try me
It will be in my hand dripping…right next to my knife!
Hey, you asked for it.
@Mr SoBo…i knew there had to be a logical answer
(you talk wayyyy too much good shyt).
the problem lies when women tell men they have a package and then they dont (it may be more than they have experienced but by no means ‘hung’).
A man will know if he is hung if (girth is assume):
a women looks a tadbit shocked, scared, then like she hit the lotto (eyes get big, grins from ear to ear).
If it nestles gently against his thigh (soft)
If it ‘flops’ (swoon)
goes past is belly button
If he breaks the Magnums that come in the gold pack
if he has to wear the Magnums that come in the black & white pack
If a woman has to self-motivate/have a pep talk with myself (think the little engine that could…I think I can, I think I can)
Jai you are def my sista from anotha motha. LOL…I was gonna say if he wears magnum xl and can hang a towel on it (erect of course). If it rests on your thigh soft…well then we have a winner ladies and gentlemen.
a small tear forms in the corner of my eye @ Jai’s rundown…..
“Mmm. Mmm.
Memories, light the corners of my mind
Misty watercolor memories of the way we were.
Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we give to one another
For the way we were.
Can it be that it was all so simple then
Or has time rewritten every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me would we? Could we?
Memories, may be beautiful and yet
What’s too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget
So it’s the laughter we will remember
Whenever we remember
The way we were.” Barbara Streisand
LMAO!!!
“If he breaks the Magnums that come in the gold pack”
@Jai
Dont you remember? The magnum thing is just a marketing ploy..
I believe VSB informed us of the truf.
I for one am not impressed by the gift wrapping, i’m impressed by the gift. If i am shocked. scared. prompted to stretch like nfl players during pre-game warm up or swear off oral cuz im concerned about perma lock-jaw – that my friends…
Or you jump and jog in place like Muhammed Ali before a fight
If a woman has to self-motivate/have a pep talk with myself (think the little engine that could…I think I can, I think I can)
I swear… This!!!
Women will tell you when you’re hung. For example, this guy I’m seeing pulled his schlong out for the first time a few weeks ago. I looked at it and said “there is not a hole on my body that your schlong will fit in. You will have to marry me in order for me to allow that thang to stretch me out”.
If you have bedded many different women and have not heard something like this… than you my dear are either average or smaller.
I looked at it and said “there is not a hole on my body that your schlong will fit in. You will have to marry me in order for me to allow that thang to stretch me out”. .
ROTFLMAO!!
Sometimes you gotta take it like a champ.
Ya’ll are cracking me up over here.
@Mr. SoBo
The VSS are wildin out. I don’t know why dudes trip on this. After watching the “Miracle of Birth” documentary and seeing the dudes in porn movies I realized that I didn’t have a fighting chance.
@Humble One:
just like us females without the kimmyk a$$ to waist ratio dont have a fighting chance? #imjussayin.
big is relative to everyone. big is nice and shiny to hold and look at and admire. big can put you to sleep at night. big can have you in the kitchen making pancakes..from scratch. CAN.
HOWEVER
stroke/ability >>>>>>>>>>> than size. if the small dude knew how to work with what god gave him, chick wouldn’t have written into to champ. enthusiam + good stroke + willingness to know that i am not your ex and every woman is different = FTW. big dude without the ability to use it will have him making his own eggo frozen waffles.
*sniff, sniff…i miss chex.
big is relative to everyone.
Very true…a man is only as big as the men that have come before him (pun fully intended)
Good answers… & mini-penis dude is another reason I support sex before marriage, lol
@Cali
my name is keisha and i too approve this message.
I support sex before marriage, lol
Where do we vote?
Is it an electronic ballot? I’m from Florida.
after a quite embarrassing moment a second ago i do have one comment…
umm I really wish y ou would have just titled this post..
“Dear Champ”
LOL
lmfao! Right?! I’ve been scrolling down all fast whenever I go to this site because of this title today.
All I have to say is that these questions that were being asked were a trip!!!! Now I must throw some powder in the air like Lebron to initiate the awsmness that is my view on this stuff, lol!
The first two questions were really easy to answer.
For some reason beautiful people are sometimes extremely shallow and insecure because they were either deified when they were young and when they are in a new situation where they are no longer the only swan in the lake, they get all sensitive. Then there are those beautiful people that actually are beautiful but were told they were ugly t/o childhood by some punk-a$$ hater (abusive fam, a bully, and ex) who could only feel good about themselves by making others feel worse than they felt most of the time. So either way u r as attractive as the person looks at you thinks you are because beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder. IF everybody u see say u cute, then u cute, but if everybody say u look like a horse, u need put on a saddle.
All I got to say about the girl with the guy she was “almost honest” with is a simple Maya Angelou quote, “if a person shows you who they are, believe them.” But going back to a past post, if she is one of those chix who likes the challenge of trying to subdue a man, this may be his way of keeping her excited about being with him since they are only “almost” honest each other.
Smoking tobacco is gross, it surprises me that this crap is legal and marijuana is not. . . .
Being out a person’s leauge: if they are honest, they are basically telling you how they see themselves. Believe it or not the people we date are a DIRECT REFLECTION of how we feel about ourselves at that time in our lives. Ever seen that amazing, pretty, cool, sexy, smart girl date the biggest loser of a guy, thats tha chick that was getting told she was ugly all tha time at home, suffering some kind of abuse that warped her mind into thinking that she was not worthy of better. If they are gaming though it is the equivalent of performing a “check” in Texas Hold Em Poker. Even if u r holding only a weak pair of deuces, a check will put the pressure on the other person to reveal some of what they are holding if want to know where u stand.
Finally to end my silly banter, and to address what most of the comments have been about, the penis thing: First of all she came in ALL wrong by comparing dude to her ex’s. Her dumb A$$ been in denial for a 1.5 years knowing good and hell well she wasn’t over tha last big dyk she was getting smashed by, but like most females that walk into a new relationship without being fully healed of tha last one she think she Rumplestilskin and can turn straw into gold! She knew what that man was bringing wasn’t what she was looking tha day he first pulled his pants down. NOw she has wasted her time and his time by being a coward. I hope he leave her for a white girl uglier than she is tomoro and then marry her, buy a dream house and have pretty babies just make her realize how shallow she is and how much she need to change in herself. See how her wore-out-coot-having self like that snit!!! My man penis smaller than my ex’s, girrrl Stop! maybe ur coot larger than his exes,lol! Thats all I promise DOS PHALANGES!
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thanks for answering my question. you so saxii <3