- “keep smiling. you know that coffee aint free, right?”
the NBA playoffs are easily my favorite time of the year. note, i didn’t say favorite sports time of the year. no, i look forward to the nba playoffs more than christmas, big l’s birthday, caribana, the season premiere of curb your enthusiasm, and the first warm day of the spring when every 18 to 30 year old woman decides to dress like j-woww from jersey shore. but, despite my standom, there are parts of the playoffs i can do without, and the most prevalent of these annoyances are the people intent on blaming every game their team loses on the referees.
seriously, if you were to go any random NBA playoff game thread on espn.com, maybe about 30 percent of those responses will have something to do with how the refs and the NBA are biased against their team, which is foolish when you break it down. i mean, if every fanbase complains about the refs after every loss, doesn’t this prove that the refs aren’t actually biased against anyone?
anyway, this topic made me think about the double standards many of us bitch about in regards to dating. guys complain that the financial burden unfairly rests on us, women complain that they’re not allowed the same sexual freedom that we are, and mexicans complain that God made them mexicans.
but, like the referee griping, many of these perceived injustices have a way of canceling themselves out in the end, and we’ll look at two of them today.
1. gripe: “guys get lauded for getting laid alot, but women knee deep in multiple dicks get dissed, and that aint fair”
how it evens out: while its true that promiscuous women usually aren’t allowed to use big momma’s good china (seriously. i remember my homeboy’s mom once telling him that if he brought any hoochies home for dinner, they’d have to eat with plastic forks and paper plates. he’s in prison now. i don’t know if these two things are related.), men are actually held to the exact same sexual standard…except the complete opposite.
there’s societal pressure on women to be (somewhat) chaste or risk ostracization, but that same pressure is on men to conquer as much coochie as possible. while this may seem like a good type of stress to have, there’s a reason why every (yup. every) man reading this has either told a half-truth or a blatant lie about his sexual conquests at least once. “underperforming” guys are clowned just as harshly as overperforming women
summary: everything sucks for everybody, so shut the hell up
2. gripe: “wait a second. why the hell am i expected to pay for dates, even if this chick makes more money than i do”
how it evens out: from an evolutionary perspective, the entire dating and mating dynamic is an elaborate dance meant to help women weed out undesirable potential sperm donors. and, while being able to spring for supersized value meals definitely isn’t a surefire sign that a dude’s a good mate, it does suggest that he might possibly be willing to protect and provide for her.
this vetting process is crucial because of the risk involved with woman having sex. not only do they make a bigger physical, emotional, and psychological investment in reproduction than we do, they’re more susceptible to injury, disease, and evelynlozaditis (what happens when stress and hard living makes you look 17 years older than your actual age)
summary: man up, bitch.
anyway, people of vsb.com, can you think of any more dating double standards?
also, do you agree with the whole “balancing out” concept i brought up in the post? if you disagree, what do you use to fill the space that would usually be occupied by a brain? gumballs? aluminum siding? cocoa butter? bat feet? inquiring minds want to know and shit.
–the champ
FIRST! It feels soooooooooooo good.
dead@”knee deep in multiple dicks”
“FIRST! It feels soooooooooooo good.”
thats what she said
don’t you mean that what HE said?? ion remember it feeling that good the 1st time lol
nnnnty ways… i just wanna say that major procrastination issues have pushed me over the edge from lurkdom –> comment-dom… or sum like that… HEY VBS!! this VSS in the making enjoys reading the blog!!
“knee deep in multiple dicks”
Does Supahead have a Twitter acct? Because I imagine her Twitter Avatar to be a picture of the above.
thanks for ruining my brunch brisket.
I’m here for you.
There are some Mexicans somewhere mad atchu. And some hos who are now nodding b/c they know the reason they’ve never eaten on a plate that clinks. And some cheap bastids who are deleting u from their Google Reader.
This pleases me. Carry on.
so, i guess cheap mexican hoes probably want to murder me then, huh?
I absolutely love the summary to number 2. Can I get that printed on the back of my VSB shirt?
. Bat feet?????? CTFU
LOLLLLLLLL. It does even out in the end. I need to print this out to every man who complains about having to pay for dates.
Akismet is a hating ass ho! Why’d my last comment get thrown in moderation. Methinks its b/c Akismet is one of them trollops u was talmbout. *rolls eyes*
hilarious as always! I love the thought provoking summaries!
I took a two week hiatus from VSB…but I’m baaaaaaaaaaaack!
Hello, Goodmorning!
you left?
You’re the opposite of a welcome (back) wagon, Champ. You’re like, the rejection racecar.
rejection racecar – LMAO!!!
t-shirt worthy.
is anyone keeping track of all these t-shirts???
Welp…
#1, I can agree with. Newton’s 3rd Law blesses this.
#2? Not so much. This is more like dealing with a casino with a 95% payout. Although there is considerable risk involved with a player hitting a jackpot, there is no guarantee that he is going to hit the jackpot, or even win a hand of blackjack, every time he plays. So, there’s no real ‘balancing out;’ the house always wins.
What is guaranteed, however, is that the man won’t win at all unless he plays.
“#2? Not so much. This is more like dealing with a casino with a 95% payout. Although there is considerable risk involved with a player hitting a jackpot, there is no guarantee that he is going to hit the jackpot, or even win a hand of blackjack, every time he plays. So, there’s no real ‘balancing out;’ the house always wins.”
thing is, if you’re a player that has a (roughly) 1 in 10 chance of winning the jackpot, and, really, all you’re playing is the slot machines, you still don’t risk as much as the casino does if the payout is 95 percent
Two double standards that has always been set in place are men are judged by their financial or social status and women are judged by their beauty or physical attractiveness. This can even out, but often times, it doesn’t, in a way, I think.
Example: Unattractive dude gets little to no play during younger years in life. Gets educated, gets his shyt together, gets financial stability and has his pick of the litter by 35 or so. At this point, he may have developed a disgust for the women who didn’t give him any play back in the day. Theoretically, as he aged, his stock rose and now he may seek the younger, more attractive woman as oppose to his 35-yr-old counterpart.
Part Two: The baddest, most flyest, prettiest, sexiest, finest, most beautifulest (thing in this world…it’s just like that) woman may not date, mate, or phuck with guys unless they’re bringing something of value to the table such as wining/dining them, exotic trips, expensive gifts, all-around queen-treatment. The only problem is, looks fade. And when late 30′s (I’m being kind), 40′s set in, the same things that initially attracted the ballin’ dude to her starts to sag and fade, he starts looking for a younger piece.
Vicious cycle we’ve all seen played out, I’m sure to some extent. As some men grow older and becomes more “distinguished”, their stock rises, while the dime-piece who peaked early stock declines gradually as her looks fade.
Great example, folk…great example…although for some sistas, part 2 doesn’t always apply, cuz they’re still bad well into their 40s and beyond (I just saw a spread of Stacey Dash…lawdhavemercy).
Agreed, but Stacey is definitely the exception and not the norm. She looks like she bathes in the fountain of youth. Don’t see many as well kept as her at 44.
I beg to differ.
@Michele,
Ms. Dash looks like an old hag to you?
@Monk
I’m not sure if you saw or read about the interview she had with Wendy Williams but Stacy Dash admitted she suffers from the typical “dime” or “pretty girl” issues.
Yeah, considering her failed marriages and other things, she definitely has issues when it comes to dealing with men and she might be a little bit on the “crazy” side. She’s cool to look at, but not sure if that’s wife material.
I agree with everything except the pretty women needing items of value and expensive trips. Why do attractive women get stereotyped as gold diggers? or being high maintenance queens? I don’t get that.
“I agree with everything except the pretty women needing items of value and expensive trips. Why do attractive women get stereotyped as gold diggers? or being high maintenance queens? I don’t get that.”
i think monk was just using a bit of hyperbole to make his point (which is basically that physically attractive women get special treatment)
I’m Caballeroso and I approve this message.
“This can even out, but often times, it doesn’t, in a way, I think.”
i think this is one of those double standards that shifts in our favor, mainly because its comparing appreciating and depreciating assets.
i appreciate the keith murray reference.
carry on.
sooo true so true
“mexicans complain that God made them mexicans.” – Shout out to Arizona.
*cues Public Enemy’s “By The Time I Get To Arizona”*
“mexicans complain that God made them mexicans.” – Shout out to Arizona.
yeah. its making it difficult for me to root for the phoenix suns
If God didn’t want them to Mexican, he would have made them Guatemalan.
I don’t know if I should laugh at that but its hilarious.
I only kid my dear Madame. I only seek to make the world closer through racism.
Love the post, but lay off La Raza
@Champ, I know. You kid.
@ Madame Zenobia, If that ain’t the truth! I always felt a certain kind of way about Arizona ever sense they were against a King holiday.
^I was responding/clarifying my earlier post. Where’d it go? I swear I was trying to make sense folks.
I KNOW, RIGHT? We knew they were effed up then!