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Cuffing While Celibate: Homie For The Holidays?

In conjunction with TVOne in support of the show, Born Again Virgin, we’re taking a look at the idea of cuffing while celibate during this “Cuffing Season”. Find out more about Born Again Virgin here! New episodes of Born Again Virgin premiere December 8 on TVOne!

You know, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that cuffing season tends to occur during the most holiday, family filled times of the year. Every month brings a new test of where you are – or aren’t – in your situation with the person you’re cuffing.

Such as?

Such as.

Thanksgiving and Christmas.

What a nerve-wracking time; turkey gizzards and jingle bells indeed. I mean, do you get this new person a Christmas present? Probably.  It’s no sweat off your back to get somebody a small token of your appreciation or affection. Plus, it’s the thought that counts, says the fortune cookie. So, while you may be losing sleep over gifts you know you’re going to get them something so it’s a self-imposed hell that cools down once you hit “submit order” on Amazon. Chill out. That’s a pun.

The real stress comes in the form of this question: what are “we” doing for the holidays?

Anything?

Nothing?

Are we going to spend any of that time together? With one another’s family? ZOMG! AM I GONNA MEET YOUR MOTHER?

Pump your brakes. Maybe you are. Maybe you aren’t. Maybe it’s still too soon. And in the world of Logic Over Emotion, you may realize that while you do like this person, it really isn’t the right time yet. It’s been all of a month and they’re cool but walking into who they really are with the family stories and picture albums and relatives asking for the babies you two haven’t even talked about if you’re interested in having might be a bit much.

To read the rest of this article, head to TVOne to read more about how to deal with this time of year when you’re mid cuffing season.

Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly (and gorgeous) for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. He refuses to eat cocaine chicken. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future. You can hit him on his hitter at panamadjackson@gmail.com.

  • Wild Cougar

    Who brings their new boo to meet family after only dating a month? Oh, Porsha Stewart. See?

    • panamajackson

      BAZINGA!

      Yo, she’s nuts yo. I watched that and was like, “hey, how long have they been dating”

      “one month”

      “NO WAY!”

      • Wild Cougar

        She looked so desperate and dude was gonna make a run for it until his boy calmed him down and made him stay. That was painful to watch. Everybody side eyeing her.

        • Idk if Porsha plays dumb for the cameras but she comes off as genuinely dense and wholly oblivious. I can see how she pulls younger men who don’t know any better but I’m still trying to figure out why Kordell married her in the first place….

          Baby girl is the dullest light bulb in the box by far.

          • Wild Cougar

            Kordell wanted something to control. She’s the perfect candidate for that. She said herself she was looking for a father figure, which is creepy to me, but whatevs

            • Oh yea, I forgot about how he kept a tight leash on her. Good point. Yuck. Still, she can’t carry a decent conversation to save her life. What do they discuss? How could she have possibly served as a good mother figure for his son? Like, cool you can control her, but she ain’t bringing anything of value to your table sir.

          • DG

            Two words: dat a$$…

            Beauty + All that donk Porsha carries makes some men look well past some of them other deficiencies (like you, I’m not sure if she’s just playing that role for the camera or not)

            • PDL – Cape Girl

              Yeah, but that gets old. Dudes get tired of dumb after a while.

              • tgtaggie

                Yeah that ish gets old quick after a dude gets 30. I want to have meaniful conversations. And I don’t want to have dumb kids. Lol

                Porsha looked way way better before the ti*s and as* implants.

                • PDL – Cape Girl

                  Exactly. No way a woman should dumb down. Shoot I think “dumb” is who she is, though. I like her, but that just ain’t cute. I partially fault her mom. During the season where she was still with her husband, her mom and sister helped her pick out a dress for some occasion and her mom was advocating, “make sure you stay pretty for him.” What in the world?!?!
                  But in reality the onus is on her to do better. Even if she was bred for housewife-ism, after the fallout with her husband, she should have challenged herself to get better. Learn stuff, be a good business woman, become accomplished.

            • She is blessed….but I just can’t be around stupid people for extended amounts of time.

          • mssporadic

            She did what he told her to do until she got on the show. Porsha appears to be one of those girls that has always been taking care of by men. Then she got that RHOA money and started making her own decisions. Her newly acquired independence contributed to the demise of their relationship.

    • RewindingtonMaximus

      I always wonder it is like to be the person asked to go to a holiday outing after briefly dating someone. That look of terror they hide behind their eyes as they say “yes”. I’m just curious.

    • Kema

      I’d invite him if he had no where to go.

      • Wild Cougar

        To me, thats inviting everybody into your business to judge the situation before you really get a handle on it. That’s just brewing drama, imo.

        • Word. Even if things end on friendly terms, you’re creating drama in the family. Think of all those awkward questions for years!

          • cakes_and_pies

            I brought a boyfriend home for Thanksgiving like 8 years ago and I still yet inquiries about him. At this point, we gone have to be engaged to bring someone home with me.

      • cakes_and_pies

        I’ll bring him back a plate. My family is too nosy.

    • tgtaggie

      You see how that turned out for her *snickers*

    • Guest

      I can invite anyone to my fam’s house. Everyone is friendly. They’d probably think it was just a cute guy who’s family wasn’t in town. But LA is like that, everyone is away from their family so you can visit people and relax and chill. But again I’m not young as you guys are so maybe your fam still get nervous when they see you doing grown up things.

      • Wild Cougar

        I’m not talking about bringing in strays. Everybody does that. I’m talking about dating someone for a month and introducing them as your boyfriend. You can do that, but there are often unwanted consequences.

  • RewindingtonMaximus

    I’d rather have a drug problem than do that.

  • Dustin John Seibert

    I’ve read that one should get their body tight for cuffing season, so as to attract a patna. But I’ve also read that one should focus more on keeping their body tight during the warm months and letting it go during cuffing season (cold, more cushion for the pushin’). Which is right?

    Also, does cuffing season exist in warm environs? Does south Florida or San Diego have cuffing season? #TheQuestionsTheQUESTIONS

    • cakes_and_pies

      Cuffing season only exist with the cooler temps. Ain’t no such thing as “summer boo”, just “winter boo.”

      • Summer flings are a thing

        • cakes_and_pies

          They are, but bish it’s hot. Get off me.

          • Guest

            Summer lovin, vacation boos….they happen. There’s alot of summer romance out there.

            • cakes_and_pies

              I don’t like unfamilars on my nice sheets. I do the do at their house and bounce. I like a cool bed for me only.

          • LMNOP

            I mean if you’re going to be all sweaty anyway though…

      • miss t-lee

        I keep tryna tell em. Ain’t no “cuffin season” here .

    • I’ve never heard of anyone letting themselves go just because of cuffing season or cooler temps. This is about the time people start lining up for Planet Fitness memberships and setting New Years body goals.

    • Me

      I never heard of cuffing til I left So FL. I’m guessing that’s why the concept of “letting it go” in the winter sounds wrong to me. Winter is when you tighten up so you can let it all hang out come spring and tell everybody you have a “fast metabolism” for the better part of summer. By the time that gut starts making you a liar, daylight savings kicked in and night time takes up most of the day, so nobody sees you rolling that belly to the gym.

  • I invited one “off-brand” S/O to Easter. That was due to the fact that he basically said after church he was just gonna go home and look at the walls. My family is pretty welcoming and non-intrusive, so I invited him. It was cool.

  • Brass Tacks

    Still trying to grasp this concept of “cuffing while celibate” like

    • It’s the same thing as Coke zero:

      You drink Coke for sugar and caffeine, but hey, sugar’s really bad, so lets get rid of the sugar! You Cuff for “near guaranteed $3x” and companionship, and well, “guaranteed $3x is kind of bad” (the whole milk and cow cliche), so lets get get rid of the guaranteed $3x.

      The irony: Coke replaces sugar with aspartame which is worse for your body; as for celibacy and cuffing, well, we’ll see what happens during Summertime or Tinder, which ever comes first.

    • Guest

      You’re not having secks. You’re dating a woman you’re not having secks with. It’s not rocket science.

      • Brass Tacks

        • Guest

          I will post it for you……”I don’t date these b*tches I fuux these b*tches that’s all deez b*tches is good for!” *beats monkey chest*. There. You’re welcome.

          • Brass Tacks

            You’re shooting but your aims off.

            First off, I won’t even bother with that crude attempt at typecasting me as some sorta male brute. What you wrote shows you have no concept of me as a man, or individual. Since I’m mildly amused by it (being a lover of simple humor and all) I’ll accept it for the ridiculousness it is with a chuckle.

            I also won’t apologize for considering se x a healthy part of any adult relationship. Cuffing Season by my understanding, means: a semi serious relationship with a warm blooded individual, wherein as the temperature drops, your personal situation heats up.

            In that regards: Celibacy and Cuffing Season (the “implied” definition), are two opposing theories.

            P.S. Just so there are no further mix ups. How about you stick to scripting your thoughts, and let me handle my own posts.

            • Guest

              This is too long to read. I got half of the first sentence though. Thanks for your reply.

              • Brass Tacks

                No worries. Ill leave it up as is, and refer you back to it whenever you decide to jump into a situation without the prerequisite facts.

                Stay blessed.

        • Nah man, you just gotta be tricky with it:

          https://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lm18a6IQYT1qinvcko1_400.gif

      • Basically imagine spending the whole of fall and winter doing this everyday:

        http://digitalroyalty.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Jimmy-Fallon-GIF1.gif

    • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

      I’m telling you…I need new math to figure out how to cuff someone without…the handcuffs so to speak.

  • uNk

    Ill just leap over this “cuffing while celibate” thing and say that one month is way too soon to be meeting the parents. Lets meet up after and talk about how the holiday was and our crazy a$$ families, while eating leftovers and watching movies. The following year will be a perfect time to then introduce to family.

    • cakes_and_pies

      I ain’t trynna explain why my uppidity Momma’s boo thang wants fried bacon and hotdogs for breakfast while he’s wearing Leonard Part 6 branded pants (true story)

      • DG

        Lol @ Leanord Part 6 branded pants…

        I truly don’t think there a is way you could explain all that…

        • cakes_and_pies

          I wish I could find the picture of that travesty…

          • DBoySlim

            I wish you could too. Everything associated with that movie was tragic.

    • Seriously, though. What’s the rush?

      • tgtaggie

        i agree. Most of the time when ppl rush in relationships it usually ends up in disappointment and unnecessary embrassment

    • miss t-lee

      1 month? You probably ain’t even met the friends yet, definitely not family.

      • Epsilonicus

        Exactly!

        • miss t-lee

          I was beginning to think I was in the twilight zone, mayne.

  • I’m of the belief that holidays are for family. Bringing someone home is effectively a marker that they plan to keep someone around for a while. There are no guarantees, of course, but you don’t bring someone home for Thanksgiving or Christmas that isn’t at least someone you plan on setting up shared housekeeping with. You can always meet the boo before or after the meal.

    • miss t-lee

      Thank you.

  • Oluseyi

    Just… no to everything here.

  • SirKnows DevoidofPunk

    But seriously, being celibate while cuffing–if it’s a MUTUAL DECISION—is cool. It can work. Companionship and connectivity is about more than smanging-n-thangin’…

    But the weird thing is, why stop cuffin cuz it’s past Valentine’s Day? If ain’t no skinz involved, then you just courtin and courtshippin’ and datin; so there’s no reason to stop that just cuz the zodiac signs changed or whatever the calendar thing is.

    or am i missin something here?

  • Swank Tony

    Meeting the family too early can be stepping into dangerous territory especially if said family has no chill or tact. Why consciously subject yourself to questions from people who are basically strangers (yeah, it’s his/her family but you just met them) that you may have not addressed yet because… it’s only been a month and you haven’t gotten around to that subject yet.

    My family has been cool on the rare occasion that I’ve brought someone home; the problem is when things don’t work out and you move on, sometimes the family hasn’t (or won’t). I’ve had the fam to ask about people that I haven’t seen in 8+ months with no contact but they’ll remember the name and some memory from meeting them and will get asked again in another 4-6 months with sporadic inquiries to follow.

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