Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Featured, Pop Culture, Theory & Essay

Cuffing While Celibate: Blocking The Box and The Ex

In conjunction with TVOne in support of the show, Born Again Virgin, we’re taking a look at the idea of cuffing while celibate during this “Cuffing Season”. Find out more about Born Again Virgin here! New episodes of Born Again Virgin premiere December 8 on TVOne!

When it’s all said and done, I believe that text messaging will go down as one of the greatest technological advancements of, well, ever. It single-handedly changed the way we communicate with one another. I’ve gotten to the point where I feel like speaking to people – on the phone – is a huge inconvenience. There is almost nothing that can’t be said over text, with emergencies being the obvious exception. And even then, it needs to be a real emergency, with blood and 10-on-the-chart pain.

But like all great inventions, there is a downside. Texting makes it much easier to speak freely without the fear of a facial reaction that ruins your day. And it ALSO makes it SO much easier to just ask somebody, “wut u doin”, which coming from the wrong person is NEVER a good thing. It’s a rabbit hole. It’s a black hole of bad decisions and Moscato-flavored weave. What? Exactly.

Replace “wut u doin” with “hey” and it’s the exact same problem.

Quick pivot: typically, women all complain that men are the ones who do the random six-month check-in out of nowhere. Nearly every woman has some story about their ex or some dude who dipped out unceremoniously, then a few months later deciding to hit her up. “For why?” echo women far and wide, with equal parts disgust and morbid curiosity. Curiosity killed the cat is a pun of amazing proportion. But the thing is, women are JUST as guilty of sending out those “hey” texts as dudes are. Every dude you know has received them. Trust me.

Moving on. What does any of this have to do with the price of pantyhose in China? I’m glad you asked.

So, let’s assume that you’ve been getting your cuff on with this one particular boo for what feels like a few months now. In fact, you’ve settled into a nice little routine. Nobody’s asking for more than the other can give. Sure, you’re still doing your little cuffing while celibate thing, and of course he’s testing you like your middle name is Scantron, and you are OF COURSE, having internal conversations about what celibacy means anyway. I mean, if you let him do that, is it actually breaking the celibacy thing? No penetration, no situation? What does that even mean? Nobody knows.

Yeah, you’re losing your mind. But as is the case with any situation – sex or not – once you find a happy medium, the exes start showing up. They have to. An email gets sent to all exes as soon as you settle into even a non-titled situation that makes you happy. And it’s never the ex you forgot existed. It’s the one you can’t forget exists.

To read the rest, head over to TVOne to read more about how to block the ex just as well as you’re blocking the box!

 

Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly (and gorgeous) for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. He refuses to eat cocaine chicken. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future. You can hit him on his hitter at panamadjackson@gmail.com.

  • IsitFridayyet?

    I’m guilty of doing only one random check-in, and that was only due to the fact that I heard from a trusted source that weren’t doing well. Never again.

  • Oh, my. You don’t know how much this post would have steered me straight bout 5-10 years ago. Just say no to the exes, people.

  • I need my LHHLA update! lol

    • panamajackson

      It’s coming.

      • And can we pour out as lil liquor for Brandy’s dress.. That ish was the death!

        • camilleblu

          as was that hair….

        • Pinks

          I can’t stand her ole Chihuaha with a weave looking behind. Sit down somewhere and worry about why ya husband teef look like somebody threw a handful of crack rocks in his mouth!

          • Guest

            She gave me life when she talked about taking care of your kids. I have nothing for crybaby men or women who refuse to invest everything into their children.

            • Pinks

              I was like “But who asked you though?” She was just yapping on and on. Everybody’s parenting isn’t going to look the same, so I can’t say that you’re not doing it right if you’re not giving your kids “everything.”

          • OMG I just guffawed!!!! lmao

    • Pinks

      Do you plan to watch NY? I thought I wanted to, but after seeing the preview I’m like meeehhhhh

      • Isn’t Cardi B in that one? Or some reality show. She’s really funny.

        • Pinks

          Yessir. I had no clue who she was until the boo showed me her on his IG timeline and I was cracking up at some of her videos. She looks like she’s about to replace Joseline as the hot-headed Latina.

      • GIRL!!!! I was like..”WTF are these NOBODIES”? I don’t wanna see Remi MA…AT ALL. and other than Yandy… I’m good.. lmao

        But I just said ALL THAT to say- Yeah I’m gon’ watch… lmao

        • Pinks

          I actually think I want to see Remy, if not for her interactions with Papoose sounding all scripted. The rest of them can go though

          • Chile I don’t wanna see her fake flossing… BYE REMY and your Remy hair! lol

            • Pinks

              They need to stop following these faux celebrities and find Rakeem in Flatbush so they can chronicle his story of tryna drop his mixtape while getting both his baby moms off his back. Now THAT would be a season.

        • panamajackson

          YOu better be careful…saying Remy Ma too many times in a row and Shamira will pop in and start losing her mind.

  • uNk

    “An email gets sent to all exes as soon as you settle into even a non-titled situation that makes you happy”

    This has to be the case because a coincidence every time? Nah. I usually get the majority of my check-ins not from legit exs, but situations or women I dated and it just never got there.

    • Pinks

      Or maybe you’re giving off different pheromones or something. I swear once me and hubby got serious, cats were crawling out of the woodwork like “Heyyyyy, so you back from college, huh?”

      BYE, ASHY!

      • uNk

        Most common I get hit with
        “I see you over there doing your(insert new accomplishment) thing.

        • panamajackson

          That is a very standard foray back into somebodys’ life.

          • uNk

            That compliment to start is so sneaky man, because if you just ignore it now you the a s s hole

            • Me

              “I see you over there doing your(insert new accomplishment) thing.”

              Is that really a compliment though or just verification of your functioning eyes, about which I stopped giving a damb months/years ago? Maybe I’m just a rude ex?

              • uNk

                Maybe you are lol

        • Pinks

          “So now that you big time, you too important for me right?”

          It’s either that or throwing hella shade. “That nig ga prolly not gonna treat you how you deserve anyway…”

          • uNk

            “You still with that lil chick”
            Oh she little now? ok Lol

            • Pinks

              Woman shade = adding “lil” to anything or calling it cute lol

              Oh, y’all got ya lil house together, huh? That’s real cute.
              She still at that lil job she work? That’s cute.
              She still rocking that lil a s ssss wedding ring you bought, huh?That’s cute.

              • uNk

                LOL the slick shade yall toss around at each other is too much for me

                • Pinks

                  It’s the way of the world lol

                  Y’all throw dirt too, but it just isn’t called shade.

              • DG

                “She still rocking that lil a s ssss wedding ring you bought, huh?That’s cute.”

                So wrong with this…lol

                • Pinks

                  I may or may not have said something similar in the past

                  *insert polishing nails emoji*

              • miss t-lee

                So valid…lol!

  • SimplePseudonym

    “Cuffing while celibate”

    Stop trying to make this a thing. It’s not a thing.

    • I married a virgin. This celibacy thing must be stopped….

    • panamajackson

      Hey man, I’m not trying to make it a thing. Somebody made it a thing and handed it off to me so I’m doing my job. It’s gonna be a thing one more time ’round here. And you’re gonna like it d*mmit!

      • Jennifer

        Make that money, PJ!

        • panamajackson

          Thank you. lol

      • SimplePseudonym

        hahaha

        “Cuffing while celibate” is just dating like a normal human being. Ain’t no cuffin’ if the homie ain’t getting nothin’.

        Tell your celibate friend to just enjoy their wholesome hanging out and stop trying to be down.

  • miss t-lee

    “When it’s all said and done, I believe that text
    messaging will go down as one of the greatest technological advancements of,
    well, ever. It single-handedly changed the way we communicate with one another.”

    And not for the better. Folks have lost all
    common courtesy and decorum. Case in point, a family member thought it was a
    good idea to text me about a distant cousin dying yesterday, instead of picking
    up the f*ckin’ phone. Others like to
    hide behind texts, which was alluded up top, instead of actually having an
    conversation like an adult.

    • uNk

      ” Others like to hide behind texts”
      Ppl don’t have to convey any real emotion over text. Instead of digging into that uncomfortable convo they can send some words along with an emoji smh

      • miss t-lee

        Exactly. Which is why…no.

  • Brass Tacks

    You’re like Ask Agatha but from a guys standpoint.

    I want more of these style posts, Panama.

    And stop trying to make celibate cuffing happen. Its not a thing!!!

    • panamajackson

      I’mma tell you like a n-word told me…you can make anything into a thing.

      Well last time a dude talked about relationships around here the place felt like Atlanta when Sherman rolled through.

      • Dee Squared

        Tell the truth! LOL

      • Brass Tacks

        I hear ya. But I dont think y’all should stop them outright. Yes, vsb is majority vss traffic. But what brought me in were the posts written by Damon and yourself that sounded like advice an older brother would give.

        So idk exactly how you’re going to pull it off. I just know im prolly not the only brotha that searches for them.

        • panamajackson

          There’s no way we’d ever stop writing about relationships if the situation called for it. I know I won’t. Should there be a reason, I’m writing it. Peeeeeeeeeeerid.

          • Brass Tacks

            Im maybe 7 months in. I know there are prior posts where all of this has been outlined, debated, hated and disputed but that doesnt make it any less relevent today.

            The game stays the same; only thing changing are the players

            #WordtoKobe8

            • -h.h.h.-

              just read the old stuff; that’s what i do most of the time.

              sucks that comments are deleted on a lot of the old stuff tho.

              • panamajackson

                Yeah…somehow, when we switched over to our new server and system, it removed most of the comments from the posts. They’re still in the system, we just can’t get them to show on the posts. It’s the weirdest thing ever. Posts with 1300 comments on them look like Tombstone, Arizona in 1874.

              • Brass Tacks

                I just started doing this. And adding my own comments as well.

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            Lemme get in on that action.

            I learned a lot from you and Damon. 5 years of reading the posts gave me more advice than all of the men in my life combined.

            • panamajackson

              Thanks bro.

  • Pinks

    You cannot cuff while celibate. That’s not how any of this works.

    Also, exes will only go as far as you will let them, to some extent. I have a friend who is always fake complaining about how the dudes never want to leave her alone, but she forgets to mention how she’s texting them back. Mama, your ish might be good but it ain’t that good. Just admit you want to have them on standby so you don’t have to rack up another body when you need some D in the event that this current relationship goes sour.

    • panamajackson

      Well, nobody likes to tell the whole story. If they did, they might not look as clean or good in the situation.

      • Pinks

        I’m not the homegirl to lie to about this kind of stuff, though. I’m not about to judge you for keeping your options open, but I will sideeye you for making it seem like somebody isn’t engaged in a conversation. They can’t just be texting themselves for weeks at a time, now can they?

    • miss t-lee

      LOL!!!!
      Folks love to leave out the other part of the story.

    • Guest

      Or maybe they just don’t have the same secks standards as you. Everybody isn’t on their back or trying to figure out how to get on their back.

      • Pinks

        *head tilt*

        Secks standards? WTH you talking about?

        • camilleblu

          methinks not a dayum thing..

          • Pinks

            Yea, I realized the trollation once they used the same language in a comment to someone else. Smh

    • PhlyyPhree

      Wellllll nooowwwwww….
      I don’t know about YOUR friend, but I have a friend, and by friend I mean ME, who has an ex who hasn’t stopped texting with no response for 6 months straight.
      I would call the police and consider it stalking, but then he’d have confirmation that I’m alive and DID in fact receive his messages so I just leave well enough alone.

      • Pinks

        6 months? Do you do Kegels with diamonds or something? Dafugg?

        Does your phone company have the option to block his number? That’s too much crazy for me.

        • PhlyyPhree

          Well, there was this one time…
          Nah, maybe I’ll write a chex column an submit it to the editors one day.

          I don’t know WHAT I did to him. All I know, is that I still get a good morning, how is your day going and a good night text. I have blocked three of his numbers. He changes phone numbers the way some regular people change underwear so I don’t even bother. I just ignore him.

          • Pinks

            Write! I’ll read.

            And, he needs help. It takes a special kind of person, or one who royally screwed up, to continue communicating by themselves. And in the case of my friend, she’ll put out stuff on social media like “Back in town for the weekend” and then complain to me that all her old bodies are hitting her up trying to chill when she visits. Like, girl, come on now.

  • Texting is such a guy thing to like. I think it’s a step backwards in communication. It takes longer than just talking, and its not as intimate. It’s fine when a conversation simply can’t be had, but to me it’s a bigger inconvenience than talking (Have you tried texting old people? It’s the worst). It’s fine for people you know well maybe, but not for getting to know someone.

    In short: Call. Me.

    • miss t-lee

      If you don’t pick up the phone, chances of me taking you serious are nil.

      • camilleblu

        like…practically zero

        • miss t-lee

          Zip, zilch,nada.

      • LyricMeThis

        Yes! Some conversations cannot be had over text messaging and if you are seriously trying I am seriously done!

        • miss t-lee

          I like to hear voices, and all the other things that come with a phone conversation. If that’s asking too much? Deuces.

          • LyricMeThis

            Exactly! Plus sometimes tone is everything and that gets all kind of jumbled via text.

            • miss t-lee

              Tone is everything.

            • panamajackson

              That’s why you call AFTER the text message that might be a miscommunication.

              • LyricMeThis

                That is such a dude response LOL

                • panamajackson

                  Well…

              • miss t-lee

                Should’ve picked up the phone in the first place…lol

      • Pinks

        Yes, in certain situations, I totally agree with this. Like, the other day a friend was on her way over to my house and sent like 4 texts saying she’s outside. BISH CALL ME, DANGIT!

        • miss t-lee

          Exactly. See how quickly that could have been fixed?

    • Pinks

      Why you cuffing old people, boo? LOL

      I like texting as a supplement to real conversations. Of course things can be misconstrued, so you need that real-time connection somehow, but that’s why we have date night and pillow talk. BBM is one of the bricks in the foundation of my marriage lol

    • -h.h.h.-

      texting > calling

      • Nope. Your math is wrong my friend.

        • -h.h.h.-

          Verily Verily i say unto thee, my math art correct…the skill of texting is much more sophisticated than the daily 2 hour phone call concerning nothing…

          unless thou likest to hearest our breath….which sounds quite per verted lol

          • Where are you guys getting these 2, 3-hour long calls from? I don’t like anybody that much except for maybe my mama. Half an hour, an hour, one a day, every other day. Sprinkle it around. Try to say everything in 15 minutes just to spice it up. Get creative. I just want some effort on your part. And what skill is involved in “wyd”? Hm?!

            • PhlyyPhree

              Welllll… I actually like to have long phone calls if you’re a good conversationalist.
              I have a friend and we talk at least an hour, daily. Some days it’s broken into chunks, because they expect me to work at work, but often its not. But again, we actually have conversations, not just
              “what you doing?”
              “Nothing. So what you got going on?
              “The Usual”

              • Exactly! Struggle convos are something I don’t even entertain. My sanity is too important to me.

              • miss t-lee

                This is my bestie and I.

                • PhlyyPhree

                  The inane convo or the long phone calls?
                  Lol. I had a friend who liked to breath in my ear. I used to just hang up on her. She never noticed until I decided to call her back.

                  • miss t-lee

                    nah…the long calls with actual conversation…lol

              • Pinks

                It’s not daily, but me and one of my homegirls routinely talk for up to 2 hours. She lives in ATL and isn’t very active on social media, so we catch up via phone calls. ONLY her and my mom get that from me – I just ain’t got the attention span, honey.

    • IsitFridayyet?

      I completely agree. I find texting to be so disruptive.

    • panamajackson

      Who texts old people? That seems like a fail all around.

      Also, every woman I know says that they prefer to talk on the phone than text. Then every woman I know spends way more time texting than talking on the phone. In short…

      ….Y’ALL AINT GO TO LIE CRAIGS.

      Nobody likes to sit on the phone all the time. That sh*t is cute at first. Those late night phone calls that don’t end. But everybody gets over them. Everybody.

      So when y’all say “call me”, you mean call me at first. Show me you know how to use a phone. It’s purely symbolic of some idea that he cared enough to call and not just text. More proof that women just like to prove that a man will inconvenience himself for you. lol.

      #shotsfiredallaroundtheworld

      • You don’t text your parents, aunts, uncles? These are the old people that stay workin my nerves, but you have to give them an E for effort.

        I think women end up spending more time texting than talking because we TRY to acquiesce. But in our hearts, we want to hear your voice. An audible LOL goes so much further… I don’t mean stay up all night on the phone, but like a daily phone check-in. Is that asking too much? I know it is, but like, still. When I say call me, I mean whenever convenient for the both of us. Which is more often than we think.

        • panamajackson

          I stopped trying to text my older family members when the text convos ended up being instructions on how to text.

          A daily phone check in isn’t asking too much. And I’d wager more people do that than don’t. I do think that women like to say how much they want to talk on the phone, while largely still wanting to text a lot, just wanting to also talk on the phone, which happens. Basically, y’all just like talking about things that don’t happen to you all but could happen to you all in case they’re happening to somebody who isn’t you.

          Y’all are all revolutionaries for one another, except you’re all getting the thing you’re revolting against. It’s an interesting existence.

          • Tina

            “Basically, y’all just like talking about things that don’t happen to you all but could happen to you all in case they’re happening to somebody who isn’t you.”

            Why am I mad I agree with this? LMAO

            • panamajackson

              It’s b/c its true. lol

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              You have no choice!

          • I got confuzzled.

            • panamajackson

              Point is, y’all all complaining about something none of y’all go through. Every woman – and I do mean this – extrapolates their homegirl’s alleged experience into their own. Everybody knows a chick something happened to, except nobody can ever produce the receipts, but everything is a cautionary tale about what isn’t happening lol

              • LMAO you don’t know my life PJ!

              • This is how people learn. This is how civilizations flourished! Cautionary tales save lives!!! Twilisha told me so.

                • panamajackson

                  Except none of y’all can produce the person it happened to.

                  Even when it is DEFINITELY something that happened. Case in point.

                  Many moons ago, I was dating a virgin…she legit looked me in my face and said, “men are always c*mming so quickly…”

                  I looked at her and was like, how would you even know this? are you lying about your virignity?

                  Her: my girls tell me.

                  Me: but it isnt your experience. why are you parading it like you actually know?!?!

                  Her: cuz it happened to somebody!

                  Me: get out.

                  • lol! She was probably just tryna feel you out and lead you into a convo about relations. Hinting around, as it were. That seems to me like some genuine side-stepping and skirting of the topic.

                    I think both genders use cautionary tales as fact. I don’t. Because I’ll name names in a heartbeat. But some of y’all do.

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      That is clearly not a good way to go about having a one-on-one conversation.

                      We already deal with most conversations primarily being about her. There’s no reason to have non-proof conversations about what happened to your friends that not only can’t be proved but sound like bad episodes of Friends, Martin, and The Good Wife.

              • RewindingtonMaximus

                And don’t be the person to say “nah, that doesn’t happen”

                That’s the verbal permission slip to let her pull out the thesarus and find a bunch of unconventional words to formulate a very inspired rant to nowhere.

                Followed by her trying to get you to something cute back to her so the convo can get back on track

              • -h.h.h.-

                this is like…the book of Matthew Mark and Luke fam.

                combined.

                #TooMuchGospel

              • Jennifer

                So, VSS upthread said they hate when it happens to them, but nobody can produce receipts…?

                You see my avi? That’s your receipt right there! I hate text-only conversations with a passion because of past experiences. Pick up the phone. I’m not 15. I don’t want to have any long-a$$ conversations until the sun comes up. We both have to be at work in the morning. But, let’s check in efficiently…and texting has never felt efficient to me. And, don’t get me started on the arguments that have started because of misconstrued messages. My ex and I had other issues, but those texting mistakes never helped.

                I’m done.

          • lol Do not try to Inception me out of comprehension. I don’t mind texting, but prefer a call to keep it interesting. I think too much of one thing just gets old after a while.

            • panamajackson

              So too much calling might get old too?

              • Oh yeah. After a week of 2-hour calls, you def get over it. I’ll give you that.

                • panamajackson

                  So you’re fighting for the temporary proof that he WILL call you b/c its what you want. lol.

                  • lol I mean, you get back under it after going a while without calling.

                    I fight for knowing he will put forth the effort to get in touch in a way that makes me feel valued and worthy of his time and attention. Sometimes that’s a call, sometimes that’s a text.

                    • panamajackson

                      lol.

                      y’all just be fighting for whats convenient at the time.

                    • PhlyyPhree

                      No
                      We just fight to get what we want all the time even if we only want it temporarily

        • I would be so geeked when my ex called me ^_^ he had a schmexy lil contact pic too…all chocolaty…I would break out in a grin all over. Plus he was fun to talk to on the phone!

      • LyricMeThis

        I will concede that I do like to text. I work long stretches and texting is way more convenient. HOWEVER can I hear your voice every now and again. Also I cannot stand dudes who wanna try and communicate a complex issue via text which ends up being all convoluted. I also feel no one will call you over the phone knowing that they have nothing to say, but they feel real comfortable doing that mess via text.

        • Yep. Complex discussions via text are thee worst. Case in point: Meme Guy, who made memes to respond to my Very Important Text Messages TM.

          • LyricMeThis

            OMG that would drive me crazy!

        • Tina

          “I also feel no one will call you over the phone knowing that they have nothing to say, but they feel real comfortable doing that mess via text.”

          Chile…

        • panamajackson

          Here’s the thing: you say you don’t want to communicate a complex issue over text, but typically, the issue doesn’t start out complex over text. It ends up complex over text which always results in a phone call anyway.

          Coincidentally, I have had the LONGEST text convos ever with women who preferred to text it all out so they could get their thoughts down without interruption.

          It happens both ways.

          • LyricMeThis

            Okay so the first statement is just proving my point. If you called in the first place then you avoid the complicated text with awkward conversation after lol!

            “Coincidentally, I have had the LONGEST text convos ever with women who preferred to text it all out so they could get their thoughts down without interruption.”

            Real talk: Ain’t nobody got time for that.

            • panamajackson

              Nobody knows an issue is going to result in a complicated text, whether you call or text. Half the arguments people have are miscommunications, even in person. Folks always read into things what they want to, face-to-face, FaceTime, or over text. It ain’t a text vs phone issue, its a people issue.

          • Me

            “Coincidentally, I have had the LONGEST text convos ever with women who preferred to text it all out so they could get their thoughts down without interruption.”

            Guilty. And if I need you to hear my tone for effect, I prerecord & attach it to text. I will be heard dadgummit!

      • Spoken like a TRUE dude…. Just pick up the phone meng!

      • Pinks

        Woman who prefers texting here. My first choice is face-to-face, then texting, then the phone. Don’t call me. I’m probably hitting the ignore button and texting you “What you want” lol

        • LyricMeThis

          “I’m probably hitting the ignore button and texting you “What you want” lol”
          I have definitely done this but only if it’s a dude that I’m not really feeling.

          • Pinks

            I Forgot this was in the dating context. If I wasn’t feeling him, I just wasn’t responding, period lol

        • I would call you back and leave a voicemail. ” HELLO? I WANT TO TALK TO YEEEWWWW!!!”

          • Pinks

            And you’d be outta luck because I haven’t checked my VM in a year. I’m terrible.

            • Actually, I haven’t either. So I guess I’d text you that response. You won the battle, but not the war!

            • panamajackson

              Me and you? We ><

              • Pinks

                I’m tryna be better, man. I really am.

            • PhlyyPhree

              On everything, my phone says I have 136 vm…yet I get mad at my something like a boo because I leave him sonnets and he NEVER checks them. Smh

              • Pinks

                lol not sonnets!

                I just don’t feel the need to listen to you say “hey, call me back”..like, i seen the missed call and i’mma return it when i feel like it, playa

                • PhlyyPhree

                  Oh nah. I leave heart felt poems…about nothing. The thing is because I KNOW he won’t listen, I take that opportunity to get ignorant. I sing songs, I tell him all the freak nasty things I want to try, I watch reality TV and act like he’s there with me. If he ever actually listened? He’d probably be nothing like a boo by now. Lol.

                  • Pinks

                    So it’s like your diary on his voicemail that may or may not get you de-bae’d should he ever choose to listen to them. Sounds like the stuff fairy tales are made of lmfao

                  • Aye Bee

                    I leave crazy messages singing made up songs as well. I knew my best friend was it when she called and left me one before I got a chance to leave her one so she had no idea I did it. It made her best friend bae from then on.lol

                    • this is adorable lol

                    • Aye Bee

                      lol.Thanks. It wasn’t until I got older that I realized who I got it from. My mom makes up songs about stuff all the time and sings them randomly and I guess I subconsciously paid attention and picked it up.

                    • see, I’m part of this tribe- I’ve been making up lil’ diddly’s about anything & everything since I was little & low key (high key) annoying the mess out of my fam for a long time- I’m just happy to know that my one day my children will carry the torch ^_^ lol

                    • Aye Bee

                      *does secret handshake for our tribe to greet you*

      • I like talking on the phone to people who are good conversationalists. SOME people are simply a DRAG to have live conversation with. FURTHER SOME people are best to have face to face conversation with. Text is ok…but there is WAY too much gray area. Too much of back and forth and back and forth and back and forth…and then someone is abducted by aliens and you don’t hear from them for 17 hours…talking about “I feel asleep” >_> into a coma tho?

        • We got emojis for gray areas now *eggplant eggplant eggplant peach*

        • Tina

          There were guys I was getting to know that had like zero conversational skills, on the phone and via text. Sh*t was painful. Or they’re texting just to text, like why?!

          • When they hit you with that “hey what’s up” and then don’t have a single thing to contribute afterward -____- like…WHAT do you want? WHY did you want to know what was “up” anyway?

            • LyricMeThis

              My #1 PET PEEVE with some guys who text! That random hey with absolutely no purpose.

            • Tina

              OMG…one guy in particular really tore my nerves up. He would just text “gm” or “wyd”, I would reply and nothing. I will say in person he was incredibly charming (which is why I gave him my number), but don’t come texting me when you obviously have nothing to say.

              • First of all…in the time of “Swype” if you can’t be bothered to write “Good Morning” …I’m judging you. I HATE “gm” ooooohhh I hate it…makes my skin itch. Makes me want to ignore you outta spite!

                • SoloBolo

                  I hate GM, WYD, U Up, WSP Wit U, IMY, I’m Str8. I just can’t stand people who don’t take the time to spell.

                  • Tina

                    It’s really the worst.

                  • what in the world is “WSP” ???

                    • SoloBolo

                      That my dear, is wassup.

                    • fuckOUTTAhere!

                    • miss t-lee

                      That is terrible, that’s what that is…lol

                    • PhlyyPhree

                      What do people have against vowels????
                      Sheesh

                  • AlwaysCC

                    that’s what shortcuts are for! i type “gm” and “good morning” appears #perfectsolution

                • Kemse

                  Am I the only one whose spelling is worse with Swyping?

                  Between that and autocorrect I come off ULTRA illiterate. Doesn’t matter what phonescreen it is, never comes out right. Not. One. Word. -____-

                  I’m just saying some folks have Swyping issues. And for challenged folks like myself some of these shorthands are staples.

                  • Tina

                    I feel silly using it bc I do it so slowly lol. I’m pretty sure my friends think I’m a nutcase bc autocorrect will have me saying some wild sh*t and then I will send three follow-up text trying to correct it.

                    I just spell everything out. When you’re 40 and talking like a tween…nah (as was the case with the guy I referenced earlier…he was fine though)

            • I WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU’RE ALIVE AND OKAY AND HAPPY

          • miss t-lee

            Listen. That sh*t is fuckin’ painful.
            That’s usually when I abort the mission.

          • uNk

            This is real! I hate ppl that text JUST to text, don’t have nothing even remotely interesting or funny to talk about.

            • Tina

              I know, it’s so annoying. I would rather not hear from you at all than you waste my time with this bullsh*t.

              On another note: Are you a chef? #nosy

              • uNk

                Lol yes I am. Personal/Caterer/Meal prep Chef

                • Tina

                  Feel like giving me some free advice? You do?! Thanks bew :-)

                  My daughter’s bday party is at an outdoor ice skating rink and I want to have a few small things for folks to eat. I’m worried about everything getting cold really quickly (it’s looking like 55/sunny on Sun), any ideas on what I could serve?

                  As I’m typing this, I feel like this is a stupid question…don’t judge me

                  • RewindingtonMaximus

                    Try cold sandwiches (ham, turkey, tuna). Pizza, because everyone runs through pizza quick, so it won’t have enough time to get cold.

                    I’d go with the sandwiches or wraps, with some simple salads. If you get them all catered, the adults will help eat all of it too.

                    • Tina

                      See sandwiches were my initial plan, but then I was thinking maybe folks will want something warm to eat since it will be cold out. I may go back to that though. Also, I was planning to have it catered, but it now looks like there will be 45-50 people including parents and kids and my family, so…nope.

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      So do the mixed combination. Some hot, some cold. Honestly like I said, pizza is a no brainer. If you want actual hot food, that’s a different story and you might as well keep the food in pans with burners underneath

                    • Tina

                      Yeah, that’s what I’m leaning towards. Sandwiches, soup, pasta salad… Not really feeling pizza bc I wanted to go with something lighter.

                      Thanks for your suggestions :-)

                  • uNk

                    Lol Its not a dumb question and I suppoooooose I could give some advice
                    Depending on the number of ppl you may want to look into chaffers and the heaters that go on the bottom to keep food warm. Its officially December so I would make hot chocolate for the group and keep it on a heater in halfway filled up water so it stays warm.
                    It all kind of depends on what your daughter will like I suppose lol, but something that can stay warm and serve a lot of ppl. I have a BBQ Chipotle Chili I make with strips of flank steak in it. With Honey cornbread in muffin tins…Bacon wrapped chicken pieces on skewers or toothpicks…..Snicker doodle cookies for sweets, Idk now feel like Im just talking too much LOL there are so many possibilities. Since its outside and Im guessing free to the public, maybe just BBQ? lol

                    • Tina

                      I’m from NC so BBQ and cornbread anything appeals to me LOL. I didn’t even think about chili…really like that. Will definitely be doing the hot chocolate, but it will probably be from Panera lol. I was trying to avoid the chaffers and sterno cans, but somehow find dishes that retain heat (I’m ridiculous).

                      This was helpful, thanks!!

                    • Pinks

                      Just flash freeze me a plate and send it off in time so it can get here by Friday, please. Thanks.

                    • Tina

                      haha will do

                    • uNk

                      You can do large aluminum pans from like Walmart too if you can find a holder for them, a lot cheaper and disposable. Still would have to utilize sterno cans though. Glad I could help :-)

                    • Tina

                      Cool, thanks again :-)

                • now it makes sense

                  • uNk

                    What does exactly? Lol

                    • That thanksgiving menu sir – Btw, how did it turn out?

                    • uNk

                      Pretty good :-) the Mac and cheese was murdered lol Disqus won’t let me be great and upload my pics tho!!

                      How was your thanksgiving?

                    • seeing the family was cool, but I put one bite of “vegan” mac & cheese in my mouth & almost fell into a depression – disqus needs stop & let me live vicariously through your thanksgiving day dinner pics smh

                    • uNk

                      Awww so you didn’t ditch the fam as planned? Im sorry for your experience with that Mac lol. Yea disqus wants to play the ol “file to large” game. I guess

                    • nope, my plans fell through :( some of the fam ditched us when they realized everything was gonna be vegan tho- one of my uncles heard & was like like “eff that” & decided to stay home & barbecue ribs (& of course I find this out “after” thanksgiving lol) & I don’t see the problem w/ large food pics? I say: post ’em ^_^

          • Pinks

            Nevermind these joints are unlimited. Stop wasting my texts lol

            • PhlyyPhree

              My friends laugh because I’ve literally told people to stop wasting my unlimited texts before. And was so sincere about that.

              • Pinks

                So sincere. You wasting them and I want them back.

                Right now, hubby and I have a thread of 7,500+ texts going since July. We talk AWWWLLLLL day and snapchat each other too.

              • AlwaysCC

                when my bff says something silly/stupid i ask for my friendship minutes back lol

                • PhlyyPhree

                  Lmaooooooo. Now that I might have to use

                • Pinks

                  I asked my ex for some of my p.uss.ay back

                  • PhlyyPhree

                    We. are. friends!!!!
                    I thought I was the only one who did that!!!

                    • Pinks

                      YASSSS, kindred spirit!!!

                      I was legit upset I couldn’t bring my receipt back to the Dyck Depot and get some cash back, store credit or something!!!

                  • I do that to my husband sometimes… lmao NOT OFTEN THOUGH.. cause I’ma giver! lol

                  • AlwaysCC

                    well damb.

        • LOL Coma-texters are the worse!

        • Pinks

          Funny, because although I prefer texting, I’m sort of bad at it. Like, I pick up the hone, see the text, go to put my food in the fridge and forget about you until 5 hours later lol

          • LOL I would hate you. OMG but…if you NEVER respond for 5 hours is way better than if we are having a lively text chat…and then you go dormant for 5 hours without even being like “brb” or something…

            • Pinks

              Yeaa I’m that one too lol

              If I’m at home, it’s a sure shot I’m going to be distracted while talking to you. At work, I’m in my phone all day. At home, it’s time to be with my chilluns and my boo so I’m not paying attention to my phone

          • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

            This is me. Sorry, but these kids have to be put to bed. And I’ve got some sit ups to do. And The Walking Dead isn’t watching itself. Nor is this Ben & Jerry’s eating itself, ok..let me check my phone and *ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz*…

        • panamajackson

          Yo, falling asleep is real. And sometimes falling asleep means I don’t feel like talking to you right now, or the Redskins are playing.

          Sleep is a real thing.

          • no. That is not acceptable. That is the reason texting #SucksBalls. in a LIVE convo…you can and WOULD be like “yo…i’m out” or “I’m tired” or “I’mma watch the game” but in a texting convo…#NiggasIsRudeAsHell for NOOOOOO reason.

            • QuirlyGirly

              I have told people via text- I going to sleep now or I’m Tired. Then that ends the convo.

              • That is the RIGHT thing to do…other ppl just throw their phone into a parallel dimension and go to bed forever.

            • lol Right? Or at least if you fall asleep on the phone- and I have- the person would know.

            • panamajackson

              And by n*ggas you mean the women who do that too right? Go ghost mid convo or just don’t close a convo out? Cuz that happens to everybody.

              • whoever is doing it is wrong.

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          I’m notorious for texting for 5 minutes straight and then not responding til the next day.

          Because it is texting and I have s h i t to do.

          • no. That is RUDE. Say bye or something.

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              No it isn’t. It’s a text, not a phone call or face to face conversation.

              It’s an actively open sense of communication open to my participation at my leisure.

              • sure…just don’t be rude about it.

                • RewindingtonMaximus

                  But I’m not!

              • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

                Ditto this…texting, SMSing, IM’ing..all of that is not the same as a phone call or a face to face conversation. If you can’t see me or hear me in real time, trust that I might be multitasking or stepping away for a few minutes/hours.

          • QuirlyGirly

            I kinda do this but it depends on what is being said in the text. If I am just saying hello, what is up and we exchange 2 texts- then I don’t expect to text you the whole day. But if I am asking questions that need answers then nah you gotta text me back or a phone call will happen.

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              If it is a serious conversation, then we aren’t having it over text. Because that’s just stupid and a complete waste of time.

              That’s exactly why I pay no attention to texts, because it’s all fluff convo anyway. My input isn’t really needed because we aren’t saying anything special.

              • QuirlyGirly

                No Rewind- sometimes a fluff convo can get you thru a tough day so your input is definitely needed. But I understand that not every text may need your input.

                Also some people are $exters- and depending on what is being said- you input may be necessary

                • RewindingtonMaximus

                  I get your point, I like my fluff convos, but I just know they don’t require all of my time. If they did, the person knows how to reach me.

                  And as for the other part…once again…just call. I’d rather hear your voice saying all that stuff to me

              • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

                Especially if I’m going to see you shortly anyway…calm down and get out your feelings. You are not the center of the universe and have no idea what’s happening on my side. No, no, it wasn’t crucial that you hear what I had for lunch right then…

          • PhlyyPhree

            and THAT is the s h i t I hate. You don’t decide when the text convo ends; I DO.
            Even if you have to text emojis( which is cool because chicks love emojis) you better respond to my response!

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              The petty is great with this one.

              You gotta have it your way huh? Aight…lemme see if you about this petty life then.

              • PhlyyPhree

                You spelled savagery wrong

                • RewindingtonMaximus

                  Cause I aint seen none yet

      • Freebird

        let those short ring out!

    • uNk

      Im trying to implement FaceTime a lot more when initially starting with a woman. Yall stay not ready though LOL

      • LyricMeThis

        I had never thought about this, but I like it lol!

      • Pinks

        Preparing for FaceTime sessions is a big deal, yo.

        • uNk

          Like I just told somebody, I mean Im going to have to wake up next to you and see all that natural beauty anyway right? No need to look absolutely perfect

          • Guys think they know natural beauty. Not knowing we got all kinds of smoke and mirrors to fool you that first year if you speshul.

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              Why do you think we hate your guts during certain moments? We know it’s all pretend.

          • Pinks

            Depends on the dude – some of y’all be asking for outfits and ish. Like, homie, for all of that you better bring your tail over here and come get this.

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              If you get a dude like that, that’s an automatic failure on your behalf. Gotta train that nani radar for better hits.

              • Pinks

                I ain’t never FaceTimed anybody in my life. I like my nasties up close and in personal lol

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          Explain this big deal.

          • Pinks

            From what I’ve heard, there are rules to FaceTiming bae or potential bae.

            1. No scarves, headties
            2. Clean face – if wearing makeup, it should be touched up. If not, your face should be washed and moisturized
            3. No TV on in the background – light music is acceptable

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              Is this for a conversation or for meeting a new OBGYN who’s got shaky hands and not able to concentrate easily?

              • Pinks

                Bwahahah! I don’t make the rules – just passing along information that was given to me.

                • RewindingtonMaximus

                  That’s some funky information. Lemme read your rules.

                  • Pinks

                    Stop tryna get me kicked out the club, bro.

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      lmao see you booed up, that’s why you can’t talk!

                    • Pinks

                      Well duh! Why you think they gave me a membership card in the first place lol

                      I can’t be revealing Awl the secrets

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      lmao don’t make me go private eye on that a$$, I will have my answers

            • uNk

              These are def some good guidelines lol

              • Pinks

                This stuff wasn’t around like that when I was dating, so I have to ask my homegirls what it’s like tryna form relationships in the age of social media.

      • Ughh… I want to look like Tyler Perry when I get home from work, not stay cute to fulfill your video vixen fantasies! Let me live!

        • uNk

          haha I can look at video vixens all day on IG Im calling to see YOUR face. Like all I ever do to check myself before a facetime is clear my throat lol

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            Exactly. Nobody asked for an interview, we just wanna chat.

            But I can’t front…I’m not sold on video chat either, it’s just a glorified phone call. And I don’t want her to see how distracted I am from the conversation because I’m playing my PS4. At all times.

            • QuirlyGirly

              And I don’t want her to see how distracted I am from the conversation because I’m playing my PS4. At all times.

              Man!! when I am on the phone I am doing everything. Cutting my toenails, doing my hair, cleaning up, watching TV..Video chat would show all of that and there are somethings others don’t need to know that I do- just yet

              • RewindingtonMaximus

                I used to hate with a passion how often women would get mad at me for not giving my undivided attention on a phone call.

                WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT? How do you expect me to sit still on a phone call? How is that even possible?

              • Yeah, you gotta be in one place for the video chat. On the phone, I’m all over my apartment doing random ish.

                • AlwaysCC

                  i just take my ipad/iphone with me and prop it up while i’m doing dishes, folding clothes, etc. lol

                  • Yeah, but you already boo’d up, tho. Lol.

                    • AlwaysCC

                      so! lol

      • camilleblu

        facetime is dayumm near like going on a date…we gat to make sure we’re *presentable* before we gon answer a facetime from a brand new potential boo

        • uNk

          As long as you look similar to when we first met you, most men wont really care lol I know I dont

      • SoloBolo

        You gotta schedule those facetimes man. Nobody likes a random facetime call.

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          I don’t get it. In due time, I’m finna see the dried up drool on the side of her face and those 3 centimeter long eye boogers at the crack of dawn anyway, so why do they need to play this game?

          • Me

            Facetime = virtual date, so no to alladis

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              So…..then you better pick us up and have flowers on deck. Because nobody told us that.

          • SoloBolo

            Can I wipe the cat hair off my skull first ( this is a real problem)? Can I stretch tho? What if i gotta pee real quick? What if i need to put a shirt on cuz you aint seen the bewbs yet and i gotta act all decent. What if????

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              1) We knew you had a cat because…single…and cat hair on your dress the first day we met.
              2) Stretch it out, aint nobody gonna stop that
              3) Pee? Word…you could do that while Facetiming like a ninja and nobody would know. But seriously? Just say lemme call you back.
              4) Really? The boobs? That’s the excuse you’re gonna run with? Like those pics aint already up on IG, Twitter, FB, Snap Chat, and 1995 AIM Messenger?

              • SoloBolo

                1.) Hey! My cat has seen one boyfriend AND one situationship in her two years of life thank you very much. Its only now that she ain’t got no father figure.
                2.) Fine.
                3.) Unless you wanna see my mountain of toilet paper and baby wipes in the background, i’ll call you back.
                4.) Why you doin’ this to me????

                • RewindingtonMaximus

                  1) If your cat is a girl, I bet she sucks up to the few men you let through those doors.
                  2)Uh huh.
                  3) We already know the drill if you got kids. And if you don’t, that’s a lot of baby wipes. You got some splanin to do!
                  4) Love. All love.

                  • SoloBolo

                    LISTEN. I have seen my cat do all type of tricks and cute noises I ain’t NEVA seen before all because a bearded pipe layer was in the house. I was disgusted yet amused.

                    Also- long ago Trick Daddy taught me that baby wipes are important, hygiene wise. Don’t judge me or my clean buns.

                    • QuirlyGirly

                      Don’t judge me or my clean buns.

                      Bwhahaha- I am here for the baby wipes and clean buns. Its a message I can stand behind. no pun intended

                    • Pinks

                      Baby wipes the truth.

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      See..that’s a woman’s first mistake…female cats. They are not your friends. They will steal your man quicker than your human friends will.

                      If you got a clean grocery bag, I’m not mad. Just don’t ask me to unclog the toilet later.

                    • QuirlyGirly

                      They will steal your man quicker than your human friends will

                      LOL!!! Wayment- if my man gets stolen by a cat- then I was not the right species for him anyway. LOL

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      lmao keep telling yourself that, your cats got you beat by a mile, just watch.

                    • QuirlyGirly

                      *grabs my cat and walks away from Rewind while giving him the side eye

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      Just saved your life.

                      You’ll thank me one day!

                    • Jennifer

                      Clean grocery bag…? Oh!

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      lmao i don’t even think I should ask what thought you just had

              • LMAO who had the sweater puppies on AIM ahahahaahha

                • RewindingtonMaximus

                  lord do not remind me…because I did

          • PaddyfotePrincess

            I may not be ready for him to see my hair looking all running north to freedom just yet.

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              Bruh..he looked at the thighs and realized you ran for freedom anyway.

              Quit frontin!

              • PaddyfotePrincess

                FIF!

                • RewindingtonMaximus

                  Uh huh, that’s what I thought

            • camilleblu

              dead @ running north to freedom…lololol

              • PaddyfotePrincess

                Girl…you know how it is sometimes.

                • camilleblu

                  *looks at my hair in the mirror*…yes, yes i do know how it is…

                  • PaddyfotePrincess

                    Your hair is fab!

                  • RewindingtonMaximus

                    You aint s h i t.

                    Just thought you should know

                    • camilleblu

                      err…thank you?

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      You know your hair is perfect, any time of the day.

            • Haaaaa! Them Celie braids can’t be seen on the FT just like that.

              • PaddyfotePrincess

                No ma’am. It’s not happening.

            • AlwaysCC

              he will politely be looking at a nice photo of me in the camera until i can get decent lol

        • uNk

          Most of these are scheduled though lol I still have to call back in like 5 minutes every time due to whatever you have to fix first.

          • SoloBolo

            Well, let us fix it and look pretty for you. Geez.

        • panamajackson

          Listen to me. I HATE random FT calls.

          • miss t-lee

            Good to know it’s just not the ladies…lol

      • Brass Tacks

        What annoys me is people sharing early morning stuggle faced facetimes.

        Nobody wants to see that.

      • I really don’t understand the concept of facetime (unless it’s a long distance situation)- if not, then come & see me.

        • uNk

          I really didn’t see the point either until some circumstances gave it an opportunity and I enjoyed it. Cant always come see you when I want, but there are times if I could just *tries to raise Avi borderline* see your face, ill be good LOL

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          12/11/15

        • miss t-lee

          For real.

        • miss t-lee

          LOL!!!!! YES, hunty.

        • Jennifer

          I’m just here for the GIF.

    • You could’ve just text that… bwahahahahahahaha

    • fxd8424

      “(Have you tried texting old people? It’s the worst).”
      Judge not. Lol

    • Rose

      I agree..I like calls..Its more personal.. IMO

  • camilleblu

    no #disrespek pj, but i’m 98.3 % sure that 99.7% of cuffing is not celibacy based….also…where is the #askagatha post today??

    • panamajackson

      Hey…don’t try to force your principles on me! And…

      ..ask agatha.

      *RIMSHOT*

      • camilleblu

        lol…HUSH

    • uNk

      “where is the #askagatha post today??”

      QTNA….the e-streets is waiting

      • camilleblu

        hey uNk…are you around today? i have a question for you.

        • uNk

          I am! whats up?

          • camilleblu

            I’m putting up my email for just a few minutes – shoot me an email so that I can respond to it (don’t worry – it’s nothing crazy, lol)

            fromtheblu@gmail.com

            • uNk

              I sent it

    • Guest

      Black women just can’t believe they are good for anything other than secks.

      • camilleblu

        errrrr…..come again?

        • Guest

          This *Why would I want to hang out with someone and not have secks?* That’s all you have to offer huh? You aren’t fun to be around, or interesting, your just a giant vaagina being prepped for five minutes to eventually screw huh. That’s all their is for any of you to give a man. Sh*t is sad.

          • camilleblu

            lol…honey bun…i really need you to take a chill pill and have several seats…i personally have zero qualms about what i *give to a man*….like – you do realize that this post is #mostly in jest, right? i see it’s time for a friendly PSA to:

            #READTHEROOM

            ETA – *looks for CheriAnn*

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            https://38.media.tumblr.com/533d4a2dccbb34687a5d4962d595c488/tumblr_ndo8nfpgii1qbey8go2_r1_500.gif

            http://i.imgur.com/l3m370R.gif

            Explain how you draw such a conclusion from what she typed and how what you responded with had ANYTHING TO DO WITH WHAT SHE SAID.

            You clearly like having conversations with yourself and then putting our names on it.

        • that’s what she said

      • RewindingtonMaximus

        Just like Gremlin looking muthafuckas with micro d i c k s can’t believe they aren’t good for anything except being jokes and memes for other people’s amusement.

        • Guest

          Another problem. Black people thinking who you have secks with and how you look are at the top of the list of what gives a person value. Genitals, attraction. That’s it. First line of defense. Attraction and secks. And clothes. Oh and hair. We are so deep.

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            Another problem. Judgmental know-it-alls wanting to speak on this subject as if Black people are the only people who participate in these methods. Like we are the inventors of it. Stop it.

            Everyone does it. Including yourself. If you’re above it now, what’s stopping you from actually inputting something useful instead of randomly being a jerk?

            • PhlyyPhree

              See? SEE? but when eyyyeee said I hated Guest, ya’ll were all “No Phree, it’s not that bad. Give it a cookie and a chance. Tuh!”

              • RewindingtonMaximus

                Fine fine, I was wrong, you was right, cause Guest can eat 1000 dirty d i c k s at this rate.

      • PDL – Cape Girl

        Not all black women. I’m definitely no run of the mill :)

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