Once upon at time  not long ago, I stumbled upon a most interesting conversation. This was a conversation being held by three white guys who worked with me. They were talking about welfare and how America needed to add the stigma back to the use of the welfare system. One of the gentlemen made it a point to note that anybody who needed public assistance was somebody who just needed to work harder. You know, coming into the game on some modeling sh*t.

These guys kept going in more and more until I, at one point, joined into the fray by letting them know that I was the child of a mother who was a recipient of welfare and food stamps and that her need for help didn’t diminish the type of person she was as a human being. Of course, the guys immediately dispersed the conversation with one levying a, “sorry if I offended anybody” missive in my general direction. I told him to do what he does and to keep it moving. I also nearly went into the co-worker’s office to let him know that there were no hard feelings and that he’s subject to his opinions. Then I thought better and realized that…

…sometimes white people need to be made to feel uncomfortable. It would seem that questionable decision-making and messed up ideologies run rampant. So I ran Forrest ran. I’ve noticed, even within myself, that at times I have attempted to make people feel better about the ridiculous things that they have said so as not to breed confrontation. And yo, son, yo that is wack, yo. But you know, this same thing plays out across racial and gender lines.  For instance…

…the name of the Washington Redskins. I had a lengthy convo with a coworker about this phenomenon. While I’m generally indifferent to the name of the Deadskins, the arguments that I’ve heard about why using the word and likeness wasn’t a bad thing were effectively, “It’s the Redskins. Period. Get over it.”  But here’s the better question: if anybody were to actually see an injun in the streets, would they call them a “redskin?” Probably not. I had this same argument with my coworker that got pretty hardcore at times. And again, I didn’t want him to feel guilty for thinking the name was okay and I was all prepared to go into his office to  let him know that there were no hard feelings.

But again, maybe he needed to know that what he said hit a nerve.

See, in my attempts to attempt to make these folks feel better, I would have lost my own perspective and encouraged them to go further with the completely jacked up lines of thinking. But the really real is that ever so often, somebody needs to be totally checked about the attitude they bring to the table, especially in a room with one Black guy who hears it all. Every now and then I feel like it is my duty to call out somebody else’s views. And sometimes, they just need to be uncomfortable.

While that’s as far as the challenge tends to go, it does all the service we need at that point to further the cause of race relations in this country (I’d use Canada too but you know they have beady little eyes and big flopping heads….haaaaaaaaay boo). I’m fairly positive that my coworker didn’t change his opinion about the welfare system based on the fact that he actually knows who happened to have lived in some less than stellar surroundings from age 3-6.  But he got a different perspective from me in such a way that he might at the very least refrain from speaking pure f*ckery into existence next time. Killa Cam.

Anyway, folks of VSB, have you ever intentionally made somebody (and by somebody I generally mean white people) else uncomfortable after speaking up about a jacked up opinion? Do you think they cared? Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways? Did the minor check change the way they speak to or with you? Basically, does everybody need to feel a little bit of discomfort at some point??

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Filed Under:

Amdcourier

Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. He believes the children are our future and is waiting to find out if he is the 2nd most interesting man in the world.

  • King Tremaine

    First?

    • Yoles

      ???????WELCOME???????
      please stay and continue to post…

      real posts too!!!

  • she

    First?

    • Yoles

      ???????WELCOME???????
      please stay and continue to post…

      for real…

  • Nay

    FIRST. that is all

    • http://lizburr.com Liz

      ha. you got beat by at least two n00bs!

      • Hawaii

        :D ahahahahahahahahahaha!

      • CaribbeanQueen

        lol it was first on my computer.. then all of a sudden i refresh and magically there are two above it…

        • http://lizburr.com Liz

          yeah, they are n00bs, so they were automatically held in moderation. but the time stamps are correct, they beat you :)

          • Nay

            lol, damn! i really thought i had it. smh

      • Tezzybaby

        LoL i thought you were callin’ them b00bs, I was like dang why they gotta to be all that Liz.

        I saw some pics from the VSB event and I must say your hair is Gawjus darling!!

        • http://iamyourpeople.com/ I Am Your People

          Where are the pics? *still salty I couldn’t go*

          • Yoles

            yea where are the pics??? and i’m still salty as well IAYP

            • Tezzybaby

              I saw some of SFG’s twitpics from the event.

            • CaribbeanQueen

              hey yoles!
              i thought you said you were gonna drive down for the event?

              • Yoles

                CQ
                girl i just couldn’t get myself together for the 4+ hour drive alone….
                *still salty*

        • http://lizburr.com Liz

          Awwww thank you!! :)

          • mia

            i love how panama writes but champ and liz need to proofread his work at this early hour. typos for days…

            • WestPointProper

              Truth.com lol

  • TheQueenWithTheNappyHair

    I Definitely agree that sometimes certain white people (read the ones who run around spewing ignorance like it’s fact) need to feel uncomfortable. While I don’t think it changes their opinion at all, I think it at least helps them to censor themselves around mixed company and maybe that will spare someone else the uncomfortability of having to hear their crap. As a kid I went to an all white high school in a rural town after moving from a very racially diverse urban neighborhood and was ( still am to an extent) super shy. I Cant tell you how many of these conversations I endured in class while sitting silently and waiting for the bell to ring. I know kids are ignorant, but a lot of times the teachers would participate and cosign too. I distinctly remember sitting in an all white class while everyone around me moaned and groaned about affirmative action and how racism doesn’t exist anymore and that affirmative action was making them pay for being smart well off white people and how they WISHED they were an unintelligent minority. Yeah.

    That being said this is officially my 3rd VSB comment and I’m working on coming put of lurkerdom lol but between work and college I never read the posts until the convo is over
    And now to bed I go :)

    • Yoles

      ???????WELCOME???????

      please stay and continue to post…

      signed,
      yoles pushing my way into the welcome committee like i run dis here

      • http://lizburr.com Liz

        LOL! <3

      • TheQueenWithTheNappyHair

        Lol thanks! I definitely will! Yesterdays post/debacle inspired me lol

        • Classy6ft5

          YAAAAY!!!

          Glad to see some good came from that madness!

          In the meantime….can we cue the Lemonhead boxes and Kazoos for Shenay-nay’s post making it into the Top 10?

          If there was ever an award for a comment…..I guess that would be it!

          Welcome!

        • Medium Meech

          I guess a little real talk every now and then isn’t a bad thing. Welcome to the jungle.

        • TheQueenWithTheNappyHair

          Lol thanks guys… I almost came to the VSB day meet up and yesterday taught me I need to interact more on here so when I do get a chance to come to an eventit won’t be awkward for my shy self lol

      • Tes

        *throws de-lurk glitter and confetti*

      • Mo-VSS

        Girl, right. I think I’ve don like 4 “welcome and sh*t” this past week alone.

        Still salty I never got mine, but such is life.

        • Squeak

          Welcome and sh*t :)

        • Yoles

          @ Mo-Vss

          ???????WELCOME???????
          please stay and continue to post…
          ?????????????????

          late but still great!!!!!!

    • Deeds

      So what did you say to these kids?

      • TheQueenWithTheNappyHair

        @deeds I didn’t say anything to them, sadly convos like this were an almost every day occurrence and i was super shy so sometimes I interfered and sometimes I just let it go. Had to pick and choose or I’d be exhausted correcting those ignorant children all the time lol

    • Squeak

      thas a dope SN also.

      • TheQueenWithTheNappyHair

        Thanks! It’s from a Jill Scott song :)

    • http://www.thefriendraiser.com jenifer daniels

      REAL TALK. and i hardly ever capitalize letters.

    • MzPW

      Yaaaaay! You’re awesome, btw….anyways, I came from a similar situation. Y’know….grew up in the hood (and by hood, I mean the definition of most things ratchet) yet went to a predominantly white, conservative private school across town. I can’t remember how many arguments I had with classmates (and sometimes the teachers, too) throughout elementary and middle school. Geeeeeez.

      However, when I transferred to a public high school, what got me was that I had to now make an active effort in checking my people when they made an ignorant comment about other Blacks attending private schools or coming from certain backgrounds. It seriously effed with my head when I had to deal with comments like “you talk/dress/act like a white girl” coming from folks looking like me. However, I always found it interested when I asked my folks whether or not they were inadvertently (spelling? eh.) calling their own selves ignorant because I spoke “too white” (by white, meaning “properly”)….hmm….

  • TWIsM81

    I’m tired as all get out, but I just wanna say +10 points for throwing in an unsuspected South Park reference. Well played, good sir. Well played.

    I’ll be back in the morning.

    • WayUPThere

      IIkkkkke!

      *starts humming blame canada*

      • keisha brown

        gives you new tune to hum…

    • MzPW

      *RANDOM THOUGHT*

      I am mezmerized by your smile! Niiiice….. ;-)

  • TheQueenWithTheNappyHair

    Whoa! I was second…I just launched from lurker to almost regular lol

  • Anastasia!!!

    I am one of those black people that white people seemingly feel comfortable around. My clothing does not make them feel uneasy, my speech and general energy makes them feel like, “Hey! I think I can trust this negress.”

    Then they get too comfortable:::

    I’ve told this story before on here, but must say it again. I was working an overnight inventory shift. Its 4am in the morn, people are tired and red-tago home. A song with drums comes over the speaker. My former co-worker proceeds to look at me and the only other black person in the area and click his tongue at me. Like the south african click clakc language.

    E_o
    O_O
    -_-
    I checked that muthafudgecake so hard that later on he came apologizing making sure we was still cool. Nah dude.

    And what killed me the majorest was that my two minority managers just branded me as the over-reacting (black) girl with a chip on her shoulder.

    White people must be let known. They must or they’ll think that ish is ok.

    Smh.

    • bumilla

      say what?

      i’m south african and i’ve never even had that happen.

      -_______________-

    • Taylormay

      they must or they’ll think that ish is ok.

      Yep. Or they’ll try and use you as a reference point when a black person is offended.

      “Well Taylormay’s ok with it. We talk like that all the time… I didn’t realize you were so sensitive.”

      • bumilla

        or i know a TON of black people so there is no way in hell i can be offensive to people of the darkened complexion.

        ugh. no.

        • Tentpole

          That should be an answer on Jeopardy. 2520 who know a ton Black people who it doesn’t bother. SMH

          • Caballeroso

            Who is “Lisa Lampanelli”?

            • Classy6ft5

              Riiiight!?!?

            • LuckBALady

              *running out my building to let out this laugh*

            • Tezzybaby

              B/c I’m all about Tangents
              I remember reading some interview she did and I had to find the quote

              “ …my problem is, I can’t get a good-looking white guy anymore, I just don’t have the looks to get that. I can get hot blacks, but also blacks are now starting to get uppity and go for the skinny white ones and the Asians, which is very offensive to me that they don’t stick with their roots — the chubby white girl

              Im sorry but this gave me life!!
              I will laugh at a racist joke if it’s funny. O_O
              Does that mean I have acquiesced to the inherent racism? Do cucumbers taste better pickled?

              SHEEEEEEEEeeeeIT!!!!

              • WIP

                LL is a straight clown. I feel offended and highly amused at the same time. (TWSS? no? ok.)

    • DQ

      The click clack language though?

      Seriously?

      The click clack? On some “The God’s Must Be Crazy” type ish?

      Damn.

      • Masiotso

        Part 1 & 2 are family favorites. Trying to find dvd versions that are less than $40.

      • http://www.nicklodeon.wordpress.com Nick@Nite

        I LOVE that you just said “Gods Must Be Crazy”

        gone to watch it while I get ready for work….

        • DQ

          @ Masiotso & @ Nick@Nite : I haven’t added it to my video library yet, but I’m going to. I wonder if they will have the audacity to put it in Blu Ray format? Imagine TGMBC in dolby surround sound and High Definition…

          one word

          #awesome

    • CurlyTop

      The San People of the Kalahari Desert. I think the language is !Kung and the “!” represents a click.

      • bumilla

        nah, gurl. you mean the Khoi-San peoples. they speak several languages since there are several different groups. also, that “!” is a western thing. southern african peoples never wrote so we use a roman alphabet in modern times thus you can get a click in a word that is written now without a “!”

        • CurlyTop

          I likes you for making me smarterer than I was bafo. Real -ish. I be learning sht in class but learning on VSB makes me a better person.

        • DQ

          Click-game propa.

          DQ <– learned something new today

        • Anastasia!!!

          See we already checking each other!!

          Reach one teach one!!
          :-)

        • http://kineticculture.com NubianEmpress

          is is also spelled xhosa? *takes note, learns valuable lessons from bumilla.

          thanks for the insight!

          • bumilla

            both xhosa and zulu have clicks. they usually show up in words with an “x”, “c”, or “q” in them. #themoreyouknow

            • http://kineticculture.com NubianEmpress

              I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t runnin around with bad info. Thanks bumilla :D

            • MzPW

              Well, Yebo Sisi! (Yes ma’am…lived in Jozi long enough to pick up a lil’ sumthin’…..)

        • Squeak

          Knowledge is power and ish.

    • http://qalil-com.blogspot.com Qalil Little

      So glad you did. That is NOT cool.

      What is so ignorant about it (exclude the clicking sounds) is that there are black people on small remote islands in the PACIFIC! What would make them think for one minute that every single one of us understands Zulu?!

      • bumilla

        because Shaka is the President of the Country of Black People. DUH.

      • Yoles

        i don’t remember seeing your name before…

        ???????WELCOME???????

        please stay and continue to post…

        • Anastasia!!!

          Dear Yolanda aka Yoles(!!!),

          I don’t know if you’ll see this today, but people have e-boos and such…

          Will you be my E-Auntie??

          You teach me everyday something new and I’m glad that you are head of the Welcome Committee.

          Please??

          Ill ask you again tonight at midnight just in case this comment gets lost in the shuffle.

          Sincerely,
          Stasia

          • Yoles

            Stasia

            i will most graciously accept our e-family connections….

            From this day forth… You are my E-Niece and I you E-Aunty… TiTi Yoles….

            ?? ? ? We are family… Yoles is Statia’s new E-Aunty… oh oh yea!!!???

            • Sharri

              Too funny!

        • MsEvaHoney

          I love that you are welcoming everyone! That is why you are one of my faves

          • Yoles

            @MsEvaHoney

            thx -*blushing*- for noticing…

            i’m doing it as i’m writing reports and nurses notes… keeps a smile on my face and that keeps the patients spirits lifted which makes work easier which makes me a happier person and repeat!!

    • Aisha

      Umm the click clack noise doe?? Smh. I feel you on the comfortable-ness like “she’s not like the other ninjas”, but I haven’t experienced something so extremely racist! I pull the blackness out for little situations just they don’t forget. Check em boo

    • cocoathoughts86

      Come to think about it, I must be too. In my The Old South class, my professor was going on and on about how he really needed some help around his house. He said that the position wouldn’t pay anything and that sometimes we’d get beat if he wasn’t in a good mood. So, at the end of his summation about the opening he asked, “So, who wants to be my slave?”

      I looked around, and I must have had that “Miss Sophia before she punches Miss Millie’s husband in the middle of town” look in my eye because soon after that he dismissed class. Then, this pale-face had the nerve to ask me if I got offended by it and that only cool Black Grad Students (I guess like me) usually get the joke. Needless to say, I countered with a “fuck you very much” look and walked out of the class.

      They can be crazy as road lizards down here…I just can’t with the 2520s sometimes.

  • CaribbeanQueen

    when people wore pajamas and lived life slow..
    cool points for the Slick Rick reference, P.

    While I have never had to check a 2520, I do think you were right in not going over to that person’s desk to say no hard feelings. Sometimes people need to feel that discomfort so that they think about how what they say affects the people around them. I bet that after you said what you did, they took a moment to think, like “Damn, maybe the welfare system and why people use it isn’t as black and white as I thought it was.” And they’ll think twice before they go to say it again.

    • DQ

      That would be my hope. It’s easy to make academic arguments when you don’t have to consider the human factor. Putting a human face on anything, changes how people perceive it.

      I still think to this day, if we had seen more images of the people who had denied health care, that fringe element that has been opposing health care reform would have been drowned out and seen for what they were, corporate shills doing the bidding of big business.

    • Deeds

      I bet that after you said what you did, they took a moment to think, like “Damn, maybe the welfare system and why people use it isn’t as black and white as I thought it was.”

      I would like to think that the person would have a change of heart, but I think that they will just not say that around PJ again. He probably will have the same thoughts and feelings. He will just censor himself in certain settings.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        i’m with you. i’m fairly sure that’s exactly what will happen. good thing is that i didnt expect them to change their opinions. but i damn sure hope they realize that everybody came from somewhere and you never know who you’re offending.

        • Kidsister

          I’m not sure if this question has been addressed but I’ll ask anyway…Would you have felt the same if the scenario was the same, accept those that were having the conversation were black?

          • Kema

            I have had this conversation with blacks and I felt just like Tammy on basketball wives. lol!

            • Kidsister

              Dont judge me but I tried very hard to stay away from the BBW madness. So, my knowledge surrounding the subject is minimal. However, I do know who Tammy is, I don’t get the reference. Can you help me out a little?

              • Kema

                She got extremely mad when another BBW (makes me think of big beautiful women), Jennifer said she had never seen a food stamp in her life.

            • WIP

              I love Tammy’s “character” but she’s too quick to act a fool. I’ve never seen a food stamp either. It’s a statement; I’m not sure why it would make anybody feel any kinda way. I can’t remember the context of the conversation, but Jennifer’s comment was fairly innocent, even though she is part of the mean & nasty tag team. Yes, I’m a fan. (Shouldn’t it be BW?)

              • Kidsister

                Oh ok, I can see how that could come off as offensive. While I didn’t hear it, I think delivery and tone play a factor….On the opposite end of the spectrum, my friend and I have the perception vs. Intent argument ALL THE TIME. Does the way I perceive your comment trump your intent or vice versa?

    • Squeak

      I don’t mind the conversation if kept at a certain level of respect. I’ll debate with you as long as it doesn’t cross a line. In fact I have a 2520 coworker who I have debates with all the time, and it’s all recreational, we know each others boundaries. But if you on some old, “Black people need to get it together because everything’s been handed to you already” type stuff. We got an issue.

    • Eddie_Brock

      I love it whenever “they” use the welfare arguement and instinctively apply it to us. This was really a big phenomenon during the Reagan years with thoughts of scamming Welfare queens twirled in 2520′s heads.
      As my old SOC101 Prof used to point out on the daily, Blacks only comprise 13% of the overall population so we’d ALL have to be getting a gubmint check and requisite block of cheese and even then we wouldn’t scratch the surface in comparison to the number of Whites on public assistance.
      From the age of 5 until I left for the military at 17 we lived in a predominantly 2520 neighborhood. I went to private/Catholic school all my life and my school pix from Kindergarten on pretty much looked like the Peanuts gang with little Franklin all by himself [and no, there was no cool beagle dog or bird to play and dance with] >:0[
      *kicks rocks*

      • Ms. My2Cents

        I approve this comment! Especially the statistical breakdown. I find that most folks these days think in generalities and mostly talk in soundbites of the latest news snippet they saw (or actually read). *note the glaring generalization in the above statement*

        Also, as someone who grew up as a mixed kid in a predom. white area (Germany…and went to school with only 1 other mixed girl) I totally feel you on the Peanuts reference! LOL

        • Mo-VSS

          Blame the media for the sound bite worthy (or unworthiness) news for the rise in “all, every, and most” being the prerequistie (sp) phrase used when describing why something should or shouldn’t be. Case and point? The whole Juan Williams post a few days back where his dumb behind said “black men scare him.”

          • Ms. My2Cents

            WORD!

      • Siobhan

        “I love it whenever “they” use the welfare argument and instinctively apply it to us.”

        I grew up in an affluent diverse (but still predominately white) area and the first person I ever met on welfare was a white girl from a single-parent home during my first week at college.

        Growing up, I didn’t even know any black people from single-parent homes. I think people, especially whites get all too comfortable in their worldviews, without any experience or expertise on a topic and they need to have their perspectives shaken a bit.

        Like you said, might not change everyone’s mind, but even one is an accomplishment. Also it’s good for people to know that every thought or opinion that comes to their mind doesn’t need to be voiced. SOME people act like the rest of us are suffering from not hearing them speak.

  • http://naturallyalise.com/blog Naturally Alise

    I let people feel bad about the whole lightskin-darksin and good hair assumptions even though honestly, I don’t particularly care personally. However, I do care about the self esteem of young girls that are subject to ridicule around these themes so I feign my strength of offense regarding those topics.

    I had to do a lot of fake-being-offended in my school years being always the only black kid in every classroom and social situation. I unfortunately had the “privilege” of being the spokesperson for all you Negroes, lol… good times -_-

    • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem of the Ocean

      i can totally relate, alise!!!

      although i will say… because i am “mixed” with lighter skinned (ima be bronze soon thanks to my pending VI vacay!!!!) with naturally curly/wavy hair, i get questioned about my position on color/hair complexes. as if i have no reason to take issue with a preference for light skin and long “tamed” hair. *shrug*

      but its cool. its a burden im willing to bear. i dont need permission to raise hell and bring awareness about certain issues, esp as it relates to self esteem issues with our young black children (as you mentioned)

      • Ms. My2Cents

        Where in the VI are u visiting? US or British? I live down here…in St. Croix. C’mon down and enjoy the sunshine! :)

        • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem of the Ocean

          nice!!!! we’ll be staying on St. John and probably visiting (at least) St. Thomas

          i cant WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!! im in desperate need of a vacay and theres no better way than to be on a beach, drinking laughing and being merry with my girls

          • Yoles

            @Gem

            i know we don’t really know each other… but we have some co-signage on here before… that being said… vacation? i might love st. john!! without so much as a backward glance at me? what about my patients? i’m crying on the inside…

            • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem of the Ocean

              lol girl come on!!!

          • Ms. My2Cents

            St. John (STJ) is lovely! St. Thomas (STT)is a bit more hustle and bustle (as far as island living is concerned) and much easier to get to from STJ. You’ll have an amazing time, I’m sure. St. Croix is the more “unknown” of the USVI and underrated but, secretly, we kinda like it that way. We get our fair share of tourism too though.

            Even though you don’t need a passport to travel to the USVI (it is, afterall, still the US), I would recommend that you do. The rest of the British VI (Tortola, Virgin Gorda, etc) is a hop, skip and a jump from STJ and is definitely worth the excursion!

            I’m sure that’s more than you cared to know! ;) Enjoy yourself!!!

            • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem of the Ocean

              thanks for all the info!!!

              we’re visiting a friend who lives in STJ so he has given us a heads up on the possibilities that are available to us when we get there. we may very well be going to some of the british vi, but we’ll make that decision once we’re on the island. im lookin forward to the trip–should be good fun!!!

    • bumilla

      I had to do a lot of fake-being-offended in my school years being always the only black kid in every classroom and social situation. I unfortunately had the “privilege” of being the spokesperson for all you Negroes, lol… good times -_-

      word but can we start making badges? just so white people know it’s OK to come to us? its should indicate something like “we are experienced in being representative of all that is Black. you can, in fact, touch mah hurr and ask me if i tan.”

    • CurlyTop

      I automatically think of the scene from Freedom Writers when the character played by Giovanni Samuels has to answer a question on behalf of the black race. Been there, not a good look. Teachers need cultural sensitivity courses.To any teachers who may stumble upon this, do you guys have these?

      • Be On It

        No. Teachers do not have cultural sensitivity courses. Studied to be one, went back to my previous better-paying field. I shudder to think about the bright eyed newly minted Education graduates sent into classrooms.

        • simplysope

          “Teachers do not have cultural sensitivity courses”

          They certainly do not. I had a notoriously ignorant English teacher who went as far as to ask a Hispanic classmate, in front of the rest of the class if, “He even had is papers…”

          smdh

    • B. Brown

      Ah, the spokesperson phenomenon…what a lovely thing that is/was/has been. It got to the point where I started qualifying what I said: “all black people don’t feel this way, but…” or “I’m not speaking for everyone, but…”. That’s a check in itself before you even get into the particular subject matter.

    • DQ

      This one, is kind of a double edged sword. I mean I have been made the unduly elected representative of black folks my fair share of times, and it can get annoying, but I guess I look at it like this…

      …at least they’re asking me instead of assuming or coming up with the their “own facts” in a vacuum. If I get a sense that people are genuinely curious, I’ll just bite the bullet and educate.

      • Shamira

        Yea but I think that the fact that it’s assumed we should be that spokesperson is ridiculous. Being black is such an umbrella of races and backgrounds that it’s almost impossible to even attempt to come close to universally speaking for all. Case in point: my mom was raised in france by way of east africa, and my dad was raised in the middle east, and I was born in France, making my little brother the only one of us that was born and raised here – yet every year come february without fail, my classmates would ask me for my insight on cultural topics. As if I wasn’t reading the same goddamn history books they were. It’s not like my parents even grew up during the civil rights movement, or my great grandparents were slaves or anything. So I have nothing unique to add to the story besides the fact that I am currently a black female in America. So why are you asking for my contribution?

        • DQ

          Being a black female in America probably still gives you more insight into being black, than they have. Still I can empathize with what you’re talking about. No one chooses to be the representative… sometimes you just are (for good or for ill).

          • http://twitter.com/inomallday Shamira

            i’ve gotten over it — and like you said, some people are genuinely curious about things and have no one to ask these questions. but its still just funny to me.i’ll give you my opinion on things, but don’t come at me saying “but so-and-so said THIS” B**ch I am NOT the black ambassador. I’ll give you my opinion and perspective, but by no means am I the authority on all things colored.

      • Kidsister

        I was in a room full of my white co-workers and I had to educate them on how most black women care for their care. More than a few of them were more than astonished that most black women don’t wash their hair everyday. That one comment opened the flood gates and I became the aficionado on ALL THINGS BLACK. However, I didn’t mind because they were truly clueless and when I think about it, I’m clueless as to a lot of things that go on in their world.

      • Squeak

        word.

      • Mo-VSS

        DQ I’m with you on this one. I’d rather be asked than assumption be made that are wrong, inflammatory and down right ignorant. It doesn’t mean I like/enjoy all the stupid sh*t white people have asked me. I just would rather set the record straight than allow the ignorance to continue. Afterall, how else will someone know something unless they ask?

        The most common questions I get are:
        1. Is that all you hair? I didn’t think black people’s hair grew that long (sigh)

        2. So, do you and your sister have the same parents? Really!? Well, why is she so much darker than you. (double sigh)

  • Yoles

    yes i have and i do it ALL the time… I have perfected my quiet well spoken put you in your place insult… sometimes you just have to do it…

    that being said i have some things i would like to address to the VSB community:

    #1… i am LOVING all the new pics and posters that i am seeing… please keep it up… having pics just makes people seem more real to me so even though i’m not on the welcome glitter and confetti squad let me say

    ???????W-E-L-C-O-M-E ???????ONE???????AND???????A-L-L!!!!
    and sing ??? baby won’t you just stayyyyyy ???

    #2… as some are aware i am a nurse and i work 3-11 so i come when i come home and need to decompress i read VSB that being said i click on E-V-E-R-Y link to a page that people have here and sometimes, im just angry… after i work so hard i need things to read, so those of you with blogs— get on it… its not fair to me, the vsb family and my patients that are depending on me… what about your loved ones??? you guys aren’t working to your full potential not firing shots but tes i’ve been clicking for over 2 weeks now where is your new post?

    #3 i think i have some html down pat and it wouldn’t have been possible without Yeah… So and Liz… thx so much ladies…

    #thatisall

    • http://www.gregisdumb.com Gregorie Thomas

      LOL you are a nurse as well? And I think you subscribe to my blog too. I work the 7-3 shift.

      • Yoles

        Greg you are correct in both assessments… are you a NYer??

    • Tes

      lmao! Yoles, you done took ovah the welcome squad!
      *throws “Take Over” confetti and glitter while cueing DJ Khaled*

      • Yoles

        tes darling, sweetheart… i click on your blog and nothing since mid march…. i need more… its for my patients… you care and don’t ant them to get hurt right?!?!

        • http://testorshia.blogspot.com/ Tes

          You read my blog? o.O Color me shocked! I ain’t know I had readers, but I promise to get on that ^_^

          And I’m not doing it for you! I’m doin it for your patients…and you…cause that kind of just made my day :D

          • Yoles

            i’ll comment instead of lurk to keep you in the know!!!!!

    • http://fatgrlatheart.com fatgrlatheart

      note to self: get blogging for Yoles! lol

      every day is a lot. don’t know how VSB does it … i get in my writing moods …or not … lol. i usually have 5-10 “drafts” but until im in that place where i feel like writing about that subject, i just can’t.

      lol @ its not fair to your patients.

      • Yoles

        @FGAH

        once a week is fine… everyday is a lot….
        i appreciate your effort and my patients will appreciate it as well

    • PerceptionIsYourReality

      Dont laugh, but Yoles how do you post an avi pic…… I know I know Im sloooowwww but I need H E L P! LOL!

      • Yoles

        @PIYR

        Go to gravatar.com. Upload a picture there and link it to the email you use to sign in here. It will show up wherever you post with said email.

        • luvtheshoes

          Thanks, Yoles. This old timer never knew how to get a pic. Thanks for showing me how the kids do it these days. hahaha

        • PerceptionIsYourReality

          Thanks and ish! Most appreciated YOLES! Now I can be apart of the cool kids crowd!! LOL!

          • PerceptionIsYourReality

            My GEORGE I THINK I”VE GOT IT!!!!! YAYYYYYYYYY it worked!! I have an AVI!!

            Ok… time for me to take a seat and sit my Pom Poms down….. Way to Excited over here! That is all.

            • Yoles

              ???????WELCOME???????

              please stay and continue to post…

              signed,
              yoles pushing my way into the welcome committee like i run dis here

        • Siobhan

          this is much appreciated, I was really struggling trying to figure it out

    • keisha brown

      yoles,
      you just tickled me with this whole post.
      now im extra sad you couldnt make it to the event that will never be talked about again…

      • Yoles

        KB

        i see now that i have to root out other NYers WAY in advance to get a car pool going if it any event is done w/in driving distance… i have learned my lesson… but i will be in FULL PLUS SIZE PRINCESS effect for the NYC event… I can’t wait to meet EVERYONE!!!!

        • http://fatgrlatheart.com fatgrlatheart

          there’s a NYC event?

          • Yoles

            @FGAH

            are you a NYer???

            • http://fatgrlatheart.com fatgrlatheart

              yes ma’am

    • Kema

      I am trying to get on my html ish! lol!

    • tnt_ftw

      sigh its been so long since ive posted AND i need to upload an avi but i dont know how to! and i hate when i miss the entire convo bec i work a 9-5 and everything has been said by the time i get to comments

      *kicksrocks*

      • Yoles

        @ tnt_ftw

        Go to gravatar.com. Upload a picture there and link it to the email you use to sign in here. It will show up wherever you post with said email.

        • tnt_ftw

          ooooooo now i get it

    • WIP

      Ok, all these new picures up, I feel like I know all y’all.