I don’t understand church hats. For the most part, they’re annoyingly huge visual obstacles preventing me from seeing my pastor help me see my Jesus. You know, when I had one.
I remember one Sunday I wanted to take the obnoxious hat off of the lady in front of me and fling that b*tch (the hat, not the woman) clear across the sanctuary to see what kind of distance I could get.
But women seem to be fascinated with them. Not sure if they just look like the fashion choice of a grown or mature woman or what, but so many women I know look forward to the days where they rock the church hat and tambourine combo at church. Add to the fact that those joints look heavy on top of what has to be a pretty hefty lace-front and color me all kinds of lost.
Women love them some church hats.
I’ve always associated the 28-gallon hats that I’ve witnessed as some sort of high society southern belle snobbery type didgeridoo. ß–that’s an instrument and not a hat. Could be that I grew up down South and the women I often saw rocking them at our Stone Temple Pilot to Nowhere Methodist Cum Baptist Standing On The Dock of The Bay Missionary Non-denominational Church weren’t exactly high society, but they played the part.
And if it goes down, y’all, that’s my heart.
Maybe it’s like the Black man Cadillac. There used to be something about rolling in a Caddy that just made all right with the world. That was the established ninja car. Nowadays, Caddys have lost their stronghold in my mind of what an established older Black man drives. But a Caddy is still a Caddy. But that’s a car. It goes to and fro and doesn’t obstruct anybody’s view of Venus. It also doesn’t draw odd attention to a woman who is 5’2†wearing a hat twice her size that’s Easter pink. With a veil. And what looks like odd little blueberries attached.
And a bow.
I really hate the bows.
Then you’ve got the huge boxes the hats come in. When I was little, I would sleep in those boxes. You could move into one now in NYC and have to pay $1,000 for rent. They take up so much space in an already crammed closet with the rest of the shiny, shimmery clothing that only comes out on special occasion and funerals, which ever comes first.
So we’ve got big a** boxes that house big a** hats that barely fit in cars and doorways that are generally only reserved for the church house, a place where a man cannot wear a hat out of fear of being disrespectful…to somebody. Coupled with the ginormous sized purses some women wear and you’ve got a whole lot of heft going on.
On Sunday.
Now let me say that I have seen some women rock the mimosa out of a church hat. Hey, some women just have it like that.
I wonder…is it some type of rite of passage into womanhood in certain circles? I went to see the play Crowns some years ago (great play) and I got the impression that awoman’s crown or hat was a sort of passing of the torch type deal. Akin to somebody’s daddy handing down his most prized possession like a watch or something (my dad does have quite the watch collection…I’m scheming). Maybe the passing of the hat comes with an hours long convo about the history of this hat from Macy’s to the head of your great-great-grandmother who wore it while she was fighting injustice down by the riverside.
I don’t know. But I’m curious.
Ladies? What’s with the church hat fascination? Do you have hats? Does it add to your womanhood? And fellas, is there a male equivalent.
Talk to me. Petey.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. HAT DANCE aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3
Ladies? What’s with the church hat fascination? Do you have hats? Does it add to your womanhood? And fellas, is there a male equivalent.
The male equivalent – lavender suit with matching gators. Bonus points if it’s a pinstriped suit
ROTFLMAO! It’s stuff like this that makes me glad my dad is West Indian. He NEVER tried that bright suit and gators mess. Sadly, my in-laws are as American as mom, baseball and apple pie. The suits that I’ve dealt with over the years…sigh.
But yes, bright suits and gators are the equivalent of church hats.
My dad is West Indian and wear powder blue suits and whit shoes to church smh.
The terrorists have won. *goes to cry in a corner*
My dad is West Indian and wear powder blue suits and white shoes to church smh.
The only person I’ve ever known my own age who wore such tackiness was West Indian. Know your people.
no. just no..
I’m Catholic. I haven’t seen a hat in church in like ever. Big church hats would look out of place in a church full of jeans and sneakers.
On the other side of the pond, British women display their hat fetishes at weddings and horse races.
I usually have big hair, and i have a big head anyway. And i’m tall. And i have big boobs. Those things put together means i will probably never rock a big church hat… Got enough ‘big’ going on. Except for my big red delta hat. I was the SH-T with that hat on… I think the hat thing is like wearing high heels. Its like another way to express yourself as a powerful woman. Its like ‘look at me, and my big a-s hat! Yeah thats right, its got feathers and sequins and beads and sh-t hanging from it (in the case of the church hat). You can’t help but stare!’
You must be my twin, all that big you got. Big feet, too? I’m not ashamed of mine, daddy used to say it takes a big foundation. He wears 16.
Do you walk big and talk big, too? Little ladies need big hats to rock the big. Can’t blame them.
I agree that the hat is like heels. It also takes confidence to wear and thus makes you look confident even if you’re not. Speaking of which, sawrah, if you’re no longer wearing the hat, you might want to pass it down to a well deserving neo who is still trying to get her big girl clothes together…..
I usually have big hair, and i have a big head anyway. And i’m tall. And i have big boobs. Those things put together means i will probably never rock a big church hat… Got enough ‘big’ going on. Except for my big red delta hat. I was the SH-T with that hat on… I think the hat thing is like wearing high heels. Its like another way to express yourself as a powerful woman. Its like ‘look at me, and my big a-s hat! Yeah thats right, its got feathers and sequins and beads and sh-t hanging from it (in the case of the church hat). You can’t help but stare!’
I don’t like hats except in one occasion — the horse races — and I am not British.
I’m breaking family tradition by refusing to wear one in a place of worship. Never mind that I do not go to church except for funerals and weddings.
I want to wear a hat at the Preakness, the Kentucky Derby, somewhere and with a drink in my hand celebrating! Because then that is good luck & good fun!
Meet you at the Derby in May! Loves me some hats, drinks and Derby day!
Lots of fun!
No I do not and will never wear a church hat. My grandmother pretty much turned me off to traditional Southern church attire with one trip. I, no more than six, was dressed in a baby pink Gone With The Wind type dress with bows and frills, lace and pink mother of pearl beads complete with pink lace socks and shiny Mary Janes. And she, in her matching pink skirt suit, pink tinted stockings and jewelry had on a huge, wide-brimmed pink hate with all the same trimming…and a bowl of plastic fruit.
The saving grace in that is that nobody had a camera.
If I could equate it to something it would be men and their gators. Because Lord knows…
iDied @ the description of the dress you were in.
and iDied yet again @ over-exaggerated weaves will become the new church hats.
I grew up surrounded by women and them hats and always wanted one… until I got older and realized how ridiculous most of them look. Although I have seen some bad ass church hats that make me wanna start building a collection but so far I haven’t succumbed to the temptation…. yet. That said, I think it’s one of those things where you see all the grown women looking good and standing out in their church hats so when you get grown, you just have to get one of your own. Then one turns into two which turns into 25 and next thing you know you’re sitting in church with a hat the size of the Empire State building perched on your head wondering where you went wrong in life
I remember staring at those hats. Only the older women of the church who sat in the front wore them. The younger ones showed up with their buns and finger waves. This was before weaves started running rampant. I think that eventually, if they haven’t already, exaggerated, extra long, weaves will replace church hats.
Ok Soooo my church has an annual “Winter Tea Party” and all the ladies wear hats. Then the ladies wearing the nicer hats strut to the front and there is a winner. Some of the hats were really FIERCE and you have to have a little attitude to pull it off. At first I felt really silly, kinda like a little girl playing dress up. Hat shopping was a Diva Building experience and was pretty fun. I didn’t win , but let me tell you after that Saturday I became a “Hat Lady”.
Ok Soooo my church has an annual “Winter Tea Party” and all the ladies wear hats. Then the ladies wearing the nicer hats strut to the front and there is a winner. Some of the hats were really FIERCE and you have to have a little attitude to pull it off. At first I felt really silly, kinda like a little girl playing dress up. Hat shopping was a Diva Building experience and was pretty fun. I didn’t win , but let me tell you after that Saturday I became a “Hat Lady”.
Ok Soooo my church has an annual “Winter Tea Party” and all the ladies wear hats. Then the ladies wearing the nicer hats strut to the front and there is a winner. Some of the hats were really FIERCE and you have to have a little attitude to pull it off. At first I felt really silly, kinda like a little girl playing dress up. But hat shopping was a Diva Building experience and was pretty fun. I didn’t win , but let me tell you after that Saturday I became a “Hat Lady”.
So what is the new car of choice if it ain’t a Caddy?? I motion for Audi.
Motion sustained. Any objections?
I have never been a hat lady. Now granted, I’m only 23 lol. But this Sunday is Women’s day at church and I’m almost scared to see what these women are gonna come stepping up in there with. I told them up front I won’t be wearing a hat, to young for that. Instead I got me a fly fascinator. Hey, it’s the modern twist on church hats
“Ladies? What’s with the church hat fascination? Do you have hats? Does it add to your womanhood? And fellas, is there a male equivalent.”
Hats of generous proportion are common at a variety of venues, not just black churches. Don’t they do the hat thing at the horse tracks? And I’m sure I saw some church hats at the royal wedding. I also saw SJP on Fashion Police for her big a$$ hat. I think black churches may be one of the few places left where that type of formality is still common so for women who have a proclivity towards accessories, a church hat is right on time. Even this past time is fading as people are wearing jeans and t-shirts to church these days. Black churches still hold a lot of what little pomp there is left in American culture.
Oh and I still see the Caddy as the car of choice for successful retired persons of any ethinicity. A Caddy and/or a shiny pick-up truck (men).
The male equivalent? Gator boots and the p!mped out Gucci suits
I’ve only really seen my gran and her sisters wear them during funerals. Then again, we have an at least four generation family church that I never grew up in, so I only see churchy attire (and culture) during funerals and black films. To be honest, I think this has cost me quite a few friends or close relationships with black females. I don’t really know or get (abide by) the fundamental church norms and traditions. The cultural claustrophobia sets in with the sororities and cliques and teams and whatnot…it’s all in there. I just can’t do it…I don’t understand it.
Now the car thing is another matter. I was a young adult when I overheard my aunt and mom making fun of my grandparents Cadillac phase…smh…my people…gotta love em.
Cultural Claustrophobia. Awesome. I’m stealing that.
I’ve only really seen my gran and her sisters wear them during funerals. Then again, we have an at least four generation family church that I never grew up in, so I only see churchy attire (and culture) during funerals and black films. To be honest I think this has cost me quite a few friends or close relationships with black females. I don’t really know or get (abide by) the fundamental church norms and traditions. The cultural claustrophobia sets in with the sororities and cliques and teams and whatnot…it’s all in there. I just can’t do it…I don’t understand it.
Now the car thing is another matter. I was a young adult when I overheard my aunt and mom making fun of my grandparents Cadillac phase. SMH…my people…gotta love em.
I’m wondering if hat wearing has simply become a tradition for elderly women and pastor/deacon/bishop/etc. wives (in the churches where it’s common), or if many of those women base their hat wearing off of 1 Corinthians 11. There are a lot of interpretations and opinions dissecting whether or not women should be held to that standard present-day… but that’s just like any other Biblical passage outlining customs seemingly outdated to us in the 21st century
But to answer your question, I’ve only bought one hat in my entire life. It was for a community-based fundraiser called “Hat-ittude” earlier this year. Nearly all of the women over the event (and attending) were church folk though
I have an appreciation for a sistah fly with a church hat. I also have an appreciation of a gangsta’ getting their hair done fried and laid to the side, but that’s the country and the Cali girl in me. There are certain things that may not be my style, but I may have an affinity for. Sometimes a hat can be a marvelous thing and sometimes the hat takes over. Miss Aretha’s hat when she sang at the inauguration came down off her head threw shade on everybody, shook it’s forefinger, declared it was fierce, and did the wop. Fergies’ daughter’s in those hats at the British Royal wedding looked the fool and those hats made them look like Teletubbies. So, I do understand your point. I enjoy seeing the hats at the Kentucky Derby (especially since my mom was from Kentucky) and the Southern swag, but some of those hats be dead wrong. I enjoy seeing, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Pageantry at it’s finest.
I am traumatized by those hats. When I see to many people wearing them them (in one place) I tend to have flashbacks. Once a year for 6 years those hats represented a reign of terror. The bigger the hat…. Oh the stories I could tell. But I’m sure someone would be offended so….. *shrugs*
Nei Jay,
But, I would think that only hats could be truly offended.
* sits up confused *
The hats always bring to mind people of a certain religious denomination. I know that many people are uptight and/or sensitive about religion so I didn’t go into detail in order to avoid offending anyone.
For them men, nowadays, the Navi has taken over for the Caddy, any type. Suits wise, yeah, my grandpops rocks a brown one with tan pinstripes and caramel suede shoes. I can’t front though, its a right nice ensemble. Of course, he lives in the country too so that might have something to do with it.
“right nice”…..i have GOT to incorporate this lil’ slogan into my vocab…
The truth behind church has is that female head coverings are a doctrinal remnant of certain Christian denominations, imposed by slave owners. Another theory is that it is a derivative of the Islamic faith that many east African slaves retained.
I met my godmother when she was about 21 and visiting our little storefront church. She came from the Church of God in Christ where it is obligatory for women to cover their heads while in church. Even at 21, she could wear a church hat better than anyone I ever met before or since. She passed away 10 years ago at the very young age of 35 and I miss her everyday. Church hats remind me of her. She was regal, grand and stylish in a way that accentuated her feminity without exploiting it. That’s the deal with church hats for me.
I’ve seen some women rock the Jesus out of those hats though. Can’t say there ain’t something sexy (Lord forgive me) about a young woman that can rock the hat the right way.
I’m a southern sista, so yes I covet the church hat….it’s a tradition that won’t go away, like cornbread and collard greens, no explanation is needed
I’ve never posted a comment on Any website so this is the proverbial”popping of my internet cherry” don’t really have much to say about the hats except that Everytime I see an older Black Woman with one on inside my Head James Brown immediately Starts sliding across my Brain screaming “Get Down”!!!!!
You should pitch “Church Hats” as a play/movie to Tyler Perry. Straight up.
Lady Solitaire I’m right there with you. Big up top and I LOVE MY Church hats! Usually for 3rd Sunday or other occassions (I feel like wearing one). My Mama got me into wearing them and we would hunt at vintage shops for them. I had a smoking one that was black had a sheer netting and this swoop of ostrich feathers (orwhat the maker called ostrich) that was FIERCE-snap in Z formation!
I grew up in NC, grandfather was Bishop of every church I attended. My grandmother had theeeee most fierce and dainty hats and would sit her happy self right on the front pew next to the rest of the “mothers” of the church. Not gone lie, she would clown the ridiculous ones then say “and you bet not repeat what I said!” lol. Church folks slay me. But I would rock a sunday’s best church hat in a heatbeat…..except…my dreads won’t let me. *sad face b/c I look really cute in hats.*
My Auntie has a basement room in Chicago just for her hats. She matches them with her purses and gloves. She always looks elegant and classy when she rocks her hats. I travel for a living, and send her new hats and gloves whenever I see a Diva style I think she would like. I have quite a few of my own. I love hats!
Big hats are a central African tradition.
http://www.google.com/search?tbm=isch&source=mog&hl=en&gl=us&q=gele&sa=N&biw=615&bih=308#p=0