[***Admin Note: TOMORROW in Washington D.C., The Champ will be on a panel with a few other "relationship experts" to talk about relationships, love, sex, and all that other good stuff, and he'd greatly appreciate your support. Go to moderndaymatchmaker.eventbrite.com for more details.
Also, if you're planning on attending, please buy your tickets with the promotional code "VSB" to receive a discount. Thanks!***]
Today, let’s share.
Listen up, I got a story to tell.
A couple of years ago, I was faced with a conundrum of epic proportions. The quagmire of race, pride, ethics, morality, justice, and perception came into play. Allow me to re-introduce myself.
One day some years ago, it was raining like one dollar bills in a strip club. Now, had I watched the news, I’d have known this but I’m a straight G. Real G’s don’t watch the news. We create news. Word.Life.
Anyway, it began raining with the force of 20 Christians in a mosque, and I realized that because I’m a G, not only don’t I watch the news, I ALSO don’t roll with an umbrella…ella…ella…aye…aye…aye.
F*ck.
Now, much like any coldblooded mofo that rolls with a basketball, some basketball shorts, and basketball shoes in his trunk is wont to do, I figured that I might have a spare umbrella in my car. I mean, you never know what lies beneath, ya dig? So I rummaged. And I rummaged – all without leaving my actual car. I mean it was raining and I was on my way to work. Heading into the office with some soggy Dockers and a Brooks Brothers original just isn’t the business. It’s straight Yung Berg.
Well, I lifted some papers and moved some weight and lo and behold…an umbrella. Except…
…it was an AKA umbrella.
F*ck.
A few weeks prior, I’d dropped off my AKA homegirl at her home and she’d apparently left her umbrella in my car. Why? No clue. But it was there in its pink and green glory. All waiting to be used for its utilitarian purpose in life. I mean, if you have an umbrella that never actually shields you from rain, is it an umbrella? It’s a philosophical question of sorts.
So, my conundrum. It’s raining typhoon-like outside and I REALLY don’t like get typhooned upon. It’s like getting grey poupon’d on except you will eventually dry at some point. But hell, nobody likes soggy loafers and clothes. And you can’t do proper business soaked. But it was an AKA umbrella. I, a non-AKA, could not in good conscience go off into the world holding up this AKA umbrella using it to shield me from the rains of the Rain Gods. Could I?
I wavered on this for a solid 20 minutes; so long that I was late to work because I couldn’t decide if I should forego my common sense and Greek-letter knowledge pool and feign ignorance that I just didn’t know better. I mean, a case could be made…it was raining like sh*t.
But I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I went to an HBCU and I know AKAs. I am not an AKA.
I am sexxy. I am Malcolm X. And I am legend.
But I am not able to use an AKA umbrella sans AKA.
So what did I do? I called in sick and said I’d be in later on drove my happy self to a mall that had a covered parking lot and went to purchase an umbrella.
Straight up now tell me are you really going to love me forever?
Anyway, what would you have done in that situation. Actually, I don’t care that much but I love you like Swizz loves Alicia.
Have you ever been in a situation where your pride forced you to make a decision you didn’t want to make? Have you been in a fight with a midget? (That’s got pride written all over it.)
Let’s talk about pride today people. What situation (no Jersey Shore) has your pride (and prejudice) put you in?
Let’s share people. Talk to me.
I’ll listen and I’ll love.
And yes Penelope, I did reference Scuttle from The Little Mermaid.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3
Oh boy Pride is def my downfall and I can think of sooo many stories…
However, I’m still trying to decide which one I’m willing to tell and possibly thereby embarrass myself with so I shall be back
But as always, great post Panama
LMMFAO at this entire post!!!!! ole farnsworth bentley carrying an AKA umbrella faced azz!!!!! Real Talk I am an AKA shout out to all sorors…and would’ve thought it freakn hilarious but i feel ya…the extreme rain would have shielded you that and you being a non gay dude…lmmfao!
other choices when out of toilet paper at sum1 elses house do u walk out with pants around ur ankles to retrieve toilet paper from known extra toilet paper space and hope no one sees you, or pull up ur drawers and go get said toilet paper thus gettn BM in ur drawers or bang on door and hope sum1 hears…. Note: i learned to always check for toilet paper before sitting…and note this is a close friends house not some random persons house u taking a dunk at…
Also an AKA so I would have carried that in like whoa…huzzah!
Honestly though, I still would have carried it in, but only if it was a frat umbrella…could be your sig other’s umbrella…and they could be nearby…
@KaNisa, Hey Soror! ~waves~
I agree. Because it was a sorority umbrella and you are a man, you could have played it off like it was your girl’s, a female relative’s, someone. I know I certainly would have used a fraternity umbrella if I had been in that sitch.
@Pretty Primadonna,
Hey Sorors!! Skee-Wee
I’d believe you loved us more if you said how Alicia love’s Swizz, cause any dude that will leave his wife and infant son needs more people. Who says if he produces for Kerri Hilson he won’t do the same thang?……Anywho…
I understand the dilemma. As a Delta, I understand. Part of my mind says use the daggone umbrella, but I totally get it. I understand that the same way I know anyone who is not a Delta can’t use any Delta cups in my house. I know, it sounds awful. But seriously, get another glass, homie. No, not THAT one.
Pride will have you broke. Pride has me showing up to my Sand’s children’s birthday parties with a gift even though Auntie Legitimate_Soul might be broker than the Ten Commandements at the time. My family instilled the not coming to anybody’s event or home empty-handed and I still do it. I understand.
@legitimate_soul, man, those little knucklehead’s birthdays, graduations and what not has left me many a day, running to R.ite Aid for a quick card and a $dub!
@legitimate_soul, I dig it about the Delta cups. no that or get under my afghan. *serious face*
This blog reminds me of a story. My mom drove my car to a funeral once and I have a HUGE Delta umbrella in the trunk. Well apparently she used it–and one of my distant cousins rolled up on my moms expressing interest and asking all kinds of questions about Delta! LMAO. my mom was like oh this is Reecie’s umbrella. smh. She made sure she called me to give me the scoop though! I was like mama…but what can you really say to your mama? I laughed because I thought it was pretty funny she got rolled up on real stealth like.
if I was a guy in Panama’s case I probably wouldve used the org umbrella. I’d use a fraternity umbrella if for no other reason than to keep my behind dry! but another sorority, no sah. LOL
@legitimate_soul,
Also a Delta. Wouldn’t be caught dead walking in with an AKA umbrella (not hating, but…no.) I mean, I will change if I have on pink panties and a green shirt. For real. That’s not really a pride thing, it’s more of a respect thing. I’d be ticked if I saw an AKA carrying something with my letters on it.
My bff from high school and I went to the same college. I crossed in 04 and was fresh off the sands. We went to the movies together and came out to a torrential downpour. No one had umbrellas, I just had my new, crisp red line jacket. She asked if she could use my jacket to put over her head as she got the car. o__O
“Naw playa.” I felt bad, but I had just worked so hard for that jacket, I couldn’t let her mangle it! I went and got the car so she didn’t get soaked but she was mad at me for a minute about that. I don’t think she truly understood until a year later when SHE crossed and dared anybody to be all willy-nilly with HER nalia.
But, pride can be a beast. In my personal life, I can have a hard time admitting when I’m wrong, but I’m trying to get better at it. I see that friends and loved ones (and even co-workers) appreciate it when you own up to your shortcomings. They actually let it go more quickly than if you were to stubbornly assert your correctness.
@Ash,
^Right. I never would use the umbrella either, but I was talking about Panama using the umbrella. It totally agree that it is a respect thing on both ends. Ditto on never wearing pink and green together. I totally feel you on bringing the car to her. I also feel Soror Reecie on not letting anyone other than a Delta use the afgan.
@legitimate_soul,
OO-OOP Sorors!
LMAO!!! Man pride is something else! I won’t lie I suffer from it from time to time.
Yeah, I’m an AKA so that would have been no problem for me. I would have laughed had I saw you with it though.
Pride comes into play a lot in my office life. You know, everyday decisions like “do I say excuse me and own up to that horrid smell I just let off, or do I walk away and let the dude who uses Tom’s deodorant take one for the team?” Ha! Not that I’m lighting up my office on a regular. I’m just saying…
@Mo,
okay, this is HILARIOUS. i would say why but i’ve forgotten how many people i’ve told about this site and i don’t want to get in trouble. lol.
but, thanks for making me laugh.
@Mo & Muze,
Back in the day me and boys would to this in the club. Walk into a crowded area of the club drop a bomb and then walk away and look at the reaction on everyones faces. LMAO. priceless.
@Humble_One,
LMAO
Just horrible
LMAO
Not greek…not female…not AKA, but yeah, fugg the shullbit. If in that position, I’d use the portable shelter to get where I was going and could give a fugg less about what any smartass homie wit’ jokes or non-dues payin’ AKA would have to say about it. Especially if it’s one of those big, golf joints that will ensure/insure my dryness. Oh yeah…I’ll use that.
You should have used the umbrella.
Two questions: How many black people do you work with? On the real, we all tend to be one of few blacks at our jobs. And, as is the case, you don’t have to worry about running into anyone that really knows the significance.
What’s the likelihood that while walking inside you’ll actually bump into anyone in a monsoon? Zero to none. And, few will take the time to look at your umbrella if it’s raining that hard.
If you were a woman, I’d understand the dilemma. But, since you’re a dude, most people would just think you’re carrying your girl’s umbrella if you actually ran into. And, since it’s endearing if you’re carrying her purse, holding the umbrella for whatever unknown reason presents no problem.
This is only a significant issue if you’re not an AK and you’re a black woman.
@Penscribe, “And, as is the case, you don’t have to worry about running into anyone that really knows the significance.”
True..you could tell ‘em some BS and they wouldn’t know any better .
Karaoke Night.
Asian club.
Vanessa Carlton’s “A Thousand Miles”.
There have been plenty moments where my pride has shut me out of doing something random and completely embarrassing but this night? F*ck it. I Terry Crewes’d the sh*t out of that song. Went word for word and scared everyone in my party about it.
@Brando,
*DEAD* … not the Terry Crews reference.
Man I love Fridays.
As for pride, let me present exhibit A:
In my current state of poverty (post-college brokedom), I practice a weird money-saving system by going to the bank and taking out exactly the amount I need to buy the items I need. Using my card is out of the question. Despite knowing my balances at all times to the nearest dime, I still find dumb things to buy— like chocolate. You know, for the feel-good qualities. And I hate to use the ATM because it only dispenses $20s. What if all I wanted was worth $5? You get the idea.
Anyway, because I’m so embarrassed by my small account balance, I will wait until I get in the hood to go to my bank. Why? Because I figure they’re used to patrons with low bank accounts anyway and mine will not seem so startling.
I know, I know.. This is crazy to the x power but I have too much pride to visit my bank branch in say Times Square if I’m in the city and need cash. I will go to the Bronx or Brooklyn and if I can’t get there, then I don’t need whatever it was I was trying to buy.
*hangs head in shame*
I miss my steady cash flow days.
@lulu,
“…embarrassed by my small account balance, I will wait until I get in the hood to go to my bank. Why? Because I figure they’re used to patrons with low bank accounts anyway and mine will not seem so startling.”
@lulu,
yep, as a former bank employee who worked in one of the nicer areas, i will def say that we do notice when someone comes to withdraw $18 of the $20 dollars in their account.
…we mostly only talked about the men that simultaneously tried to holla or the extra ghetto people though. lol.
next time just say, “oh how much is in this account? i only use it for petty spending, so i don’t keep up with it much. i’ll just take $___, not buying much today.” …or some variation.
this has got to be the #1 statement said by someone juuuust before you pull their $100.30 account balance up. lol. but 2520s believe it because well, that’s what they do. you’re welcome. lol.
@Muze, wait… $100.30 is low? I gotta get my isht together!
@Yeah…SO!?!,
Haha Ditto
@Muze,
I already have excuses. Trust me. Lol. I usually make some nonsensical hullabaloo about Chase not being my primary account (if I happen to be in B of A, that is) and vice versa. Then I wave around the appropriate card from the rival institution, make some noise about how I’ll have to close this account since I keep such small amounts in there and then make a quick exit.
Haha.
correction:
about Chase being my primary bank/account*
@lulu,
And I hate to use the ATM because it only dispenses $20s. What if all I wanted was worth $5?
I concur. Been outta college for a while and i’m more than likely not on your level of brokedom, but i totally understand this principle of not taking out funds you dont need. Along with some of the other solutions provided, you can always go use your card at like a RiteAid, CVS, pathmark etc. buy some $0.50 gum or BS and get $6(or whatever amount you need) cashback. I hate having to goto ATM’s that arent my bank or taking out way more than I need. Cash back is always a good solution.
@lulu, I feel you on the “post-college brokedom”. Damn it stings so much. I just opened another savings acct. (because college brokedom forced me to liquidate my last one) with $10. Ten damn dollars, but 0 credit card debt so I guess it can’t be that bad.
until a certain point in my life i never took notice of what aquaintances wear… until one day i stayed over at a friend of a friend and needed a t-shirt to borrow to go home in… we had been out as part of a wider group of mutuals and were horribly drunk and she lived closest to me… gratefully i rested my head on her sofa…
i knew vaguely clocked she wore cheaper end high street brands (i don’t.. never have.. quality & ‘cost per wear’ and all that.. )..
but she looked ok.. you know.. together enough.. it wasn’t a ‘no mirrors no friends’ moment…
so.. i woke in the morning and needed to get home before 10am…
you would not believe the shitty, market looking, washed out nasty old shirts and t-shirts she produced for me to put on.. it was was awful… i just couldn’t.. not have those fabrics next to my skin even for half an hour…
i really rifled through her wardrobe for something suitable.. but she had like 3 ‘currently in use’ tops that were vaguely ok because they were black… the rest.. eek.. not in my life..
i didn’t think about it for a nano second… i did the ‘walk of shame’ home in my own red wine stained blouse…
@london, I’m sorry… but this was just rude. I mean dang you make it sound like them b*tches had gangrene stains or some isht.
you’re a foolish man, but i understand. i’ve been there…. *hangs head in shame, shuffles into the naughty corner*
i once didn’t go to an old school pals wedding coz i couldn’t find my make-up bag, and was looking BUSTED due to the fact that i’d spent the whole week pulling all-nighters…
i felt so awful about being so shallow, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it… looked all over the house for it, got dressed and everything…. but the thought of facing old school chums looking like death warmed up, i just couldn’t… PLUS the photographs that’d be circulating to everyone who couldn’t make it ALL AROUND THE WORLD (i went to a very international high school).
you are not alone, sweetie….
@superwoman, the photographs that’d be circulating to everyone who couldn’t make it ALL AROUND THE WORLD
I don’t blame you… technology can be a real B*tch sometimes- DAMN YOU FACEBOOK! *shakes fist at air*
Haven’t commented in a while (i.e. not a newbie) so…
I AM a member the greatest NPHC sorority (A-L-P-H-A, Alpha Kappa Alpha… skee wee my sorors) and happened to have my friend’s DST baseball cap in my car sans an umbrella when it was raining. What did I do?! Sucked it up, put it on to run inside and took it right off. I mean really, this hair is just too pretty to get wet. LOL True story.
Second case, worse case scenerio (on some Joe stuff,SN he’s from Alabama, but talks like he’s a NYer, not a good look, but I digress)… ex boyfriend is a traffic court judge. Upon telling him where he could “put it” after a heated conversation, in the same weekend I was pulled over for an illegal turn (a friend of his other ex who happens to be a DST, what are the odds) and got a red light camera ticket… needless to say I had to call and say “Just kidding” on some PUNKED shiznick about my earlier rant. He got rid of the tickets, but I had to be arm candy to two events as “payment.” Yuck!
@Pan Afrikanist Bourgie Princess,
hahaha @ the repayment though. hilarity.
… and i love that Joe song!
@Pan Afrikanist Bourgie Princess,
That is a nice screen name. Your name describes my mother. I am going to call her that and see her reaction. LOL.
okay. this post is genius just for the references alone.
i saw Penelope’s comment and it immediately popped into my head but i thought it just some coincidence. that’s hilarious.
and this: “Straight up now tell me are you really going to love me forever?”
bwahaha. paula abdul though? do you just randomly pull names out of a hat and try to do a reference in the post? hilarity.
anyhoo… now that i’m done playing mistress, hehe, this issue always comes up around my godbabies’ birthdays. i have four, so i always feel the need to bring the best gift, even though i’m well aware that pretty much all of one of my godson’s father’s side are doctors and therefore can afford much better isht than me. lol. boooo.
pride also won’t let me go anywhere looking a hot mess. once i had to take my little sister to her friend’s house and upon getting there, she asked if i could take the both of them to wal-mart. well, i had on a veryhuge pair of pull-away spalding track pants? that i’d stolen from my ex. they’re very comfy and don’t really look a hot mess, but bc of the fact that i had nothing under them and had the horrible scenario of someone accidentally stepping on the back of them, or them getting caught on a metal shelf and ‘ripping-away’ in a traumatizing episode kept running though my head, i stopped and changed.
…and lo and behold who is at wal-mart but my ex, whom i hadn’t seen in a few years but still spoke to now and then (when he’d randomly text me a ‘how’ve you been’ or something), and his new girl. talk about thanking GOD that he’d guided me back to my home… whew. i later heard through the facebook grapevine that his new girl banned him from communicating with me ever again because “that b*tch is way prettier in person.” hahahaha. i guess i take ugly pics? iono. lol. whatever. point, Muze.
@Muze, “anyhoo… now that i’m done playing mistress”….excellent previous post usage!
@numbah 5,
why thank you.
lol.
@Muze, but bc of the fact that i had nothing under them and had the horrible scenario of someone accidentally stepping on the back of them, or them getting caught on a metal shelf and ‘ripping-away’ in a traumatizing episode…
this is definitely some isht I would think up.
@Yeah…SO!?!,
yeah with my luck i would’ve run into the ex and his girl wearing his old pants just as some little kid stepped on the back of them and ripped them away. lol
@Muze
Don’t you love it when you listen to your sixth sense???
As for the pants being pulled away to reveal nakedness, that type of thinking is EXACTLY why I always wear nice underwear and look cute down there. I keep thinking: what if some traumatic accident happened and they had to cut off my clothing and lo and behold, nasty undies?!!!! I really should be more worried about dying from said accident but no one ever said I’m always rational.
ps: i thought you were guy for the longest. i’m so sorry. i just assume Muze was a dude.
@lulu,
“As for the pants being pulled away to reveal nakedness, that type of thinking is EXACTLY why I always wear nice underwear and look cute down there. I keep thinking: what if some traumatic accident happened and they had to cut off my clothing and lo and behold, nasty undies?!!!! I really should be more worried about dying from said accident but no one ever said I’m always rational.”
Not a bad idea. I know a guy that got into an accident at work and when the EMS came they had to cut his pants. Unfortunately for him it was the day he chose to come to work with no underwear.
@Humble_One,
hahaha! poor thing.
@lulu,
LOL! i certainly hope this was before i got an avatar. otherwise i’m pretty much devastated. lol.
and yes, nice undies are a must. i’m just way too free sometimes i suppose. it was 7:30am and i hopped out of the shower and into the sweats. i DO always put shea butter on though. the only thing more embarrassing than having your pants ripped off to reveal your bare behind is having your pants ripped off to reveal your ashy bare behind. lol.
@Muze,
def before the avatar.
The Warehouse, circa 1993, ATL
The DJ mixes in the Sugar Hill Gang…a young Miss P hears a combination of “awwww sh*t & hell yeahs”, but she has no recollection of Rapper’s Delight or any nostalgic Brown Sugar-esque memory attached to this apparent landmark hit. Relying on her strong ability to mimic and stay on beat, she picks out a good female dancer on the far end of the dance floor
and copies her dance moves. The end. I will deny admitting this until the day I die. Hence, my elusive moniker.
Had a flashback to an incident in college…
A young Bmore went shopping for jeans, found a pair of Levis that fit just RIGHT (anal about how jeans fit over shoes, the amount of sag and alladat). Problem was they cost $40, broke college student me only had $25 to my name till next possible payday…2 weeks away.
Pride wouldn’t let me put those Levis down…failure was not an option…so I did what I thought was my only option….
switched price tags with a $20 pair of jeans on sale
First and only time…and till this day that incident still works as an incentive for me to never be that broke again…
@Pan Afrikanist Bourgie Princess
*shudder* don’t think i cld’ve done it (wear the DST cap) me thinks i wld’ve waited out the rain and been late as hell…..my bff is a DST and when my Goddaughter was brought home form the hospital she brought her home in the pink n green frog feet onesy thingy that i had bought at macys’ VICTORY!!! ha! even she admitted that is was too cute…so pic of lil baby went out to her LS and sorors and she caught mad flack #EVL but in all fairness i did purchase a red n white onesy thingy too,,,,and initially she was mad as hell at the shower cause i gave her the pink n green 1 first….another trip down memory lane…my bad.
My senior year of college I damn near got evicted because I was walking the Earth thinking how much of a man I was. My little pride almost had my yellow a$$ homeless.This train of thought was preventing me from asking my parents for help. In the end I yielded and did the smart thing because I realized the fact that the alternative wasn’t the right move at all.
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E.,
and what was the alternative?
@LaBakir,
It came down to me getting the hell over my 22 year old self and asking for the loot, which Ma and Pa Agent of M.E. gladly gave, or getting my stuff put on the curb by the good folks at the Charleston County Sheriff’s Dept and spending the winter in a Maytag box somewhere.
I didn’t realize how idiotic I was being until I found out that a friend of my was actually homeless. I listened to what he dealt with on a daily basis and things got a lot clearer.
@LaBakir, I left a comment on your page yesterday too. The first BP still gets play on the strength of “The Takeover” alone.
I’m not greek but I definitely would have used the umbrella. Its raining-its in my car-its getting used—isnt that why it was purchased in the first place?
I can’t even think of a story because i am laughing SO hard!!
That was definitely a conundrum. I think you made the right choice though, cuz if I ever see a dude walking around with a sorority umbrella ( especially AKA-at least I could convince my self that a delta one was really kappa or a zeta one was really a sigma) I would have to laugh at him and probably point.
**Random** Am I the only one who believe women tend to be more “proud” than men in many cases? For example, many women seem to not be able to apologize when they are dead wrong or when they make mistakes. An excuse is often given for the mishap, but very rarely an apology.**
I tried to think of an instance so I can contribute more, but couldn’t think of any. Maybe I need a bigger ego. *kanye shrug*
@Monk,
Cosign. I think women have waaaay more pride than men. Women will try to save face at all costs. Men will put pride aside to get what they want or acheive their goal. E.g. p***y. I dude will put pride aside if it will get him some. Very rarely do you hear a woman apologize. Excuse? yes. Apology? no. My current theory is that they feel they lose something by apologizing. IMHO I have more respect for someone that sincerely apologizes than someone who never accepts responsibility for their actions.
@Monk, Yeah men apologize, but RARELY (if ever) do they mean it.
@Yeah…SO!?!,
bingo. at least when i do apologize, i’m sincere.
men just want you to stop fussing or end the silent treatment. lmbo.
@Muze,
When I apologize I’m sincere. If it’s not sincere I won’t do it.
@Monk,
I disagree. I think it depends on the people. I have known some very proud men who knew they were wrong and would not apologize for nothing in the world. They’d do some “I’m sorry YOU felt that way” or “I’m sorry you are upset” b.s. Deflecting as if what they did was totally fine, but somehow you just extra sensitive. Where as I’m like the basketball player on the court: When I foul I’ll raise my hand and admit it was me. I might be embarrassed, it might even be hard, but I’ll admit it and apologize.
@Monk,
**Random** Am I the only one who believe women tend to be more “proud” than men in many cases? For example, many women seem to not be able to apologize when they are dead wrong or when they make mistakes. An excuse is often given for the mishap, but very rarely an apology.**
Sure, no doubt….I can agree with you on that….we women TEND to be or in other words, more prone to get a little tender when it comes to our pride. I have somewhat of a theory that for some women…letting go of her pride to someone or something brings about a resentful feeling of submitting herself to one thing or another. And you know how we feel about submission in the first place…Lol. Its a powerful thing to relinquish…a sense of control that holds intangible value has to be released “from her hands” and on to someone else by having to lay down her pride, push that isht aside, woman up and sincerely look up and say to her man: “Baby, I was wrong…I see that now….you forgive me?
I once read: “It is better to lose your pride with someone you love than to lose that someone you love with your useless (& selfish) pride.”
…cuz you know, nobody likes to be wrong…or even worse: PROVEN wrong.
And by no means am I excusing said behavior, just contributing to discussion.
I don’t know if this first story falls under pride or embarassment
Back in the day when I was even more broke than I am now I decided to get gas. I only had a one dollar bill and loose change. There were two NICE looking women in the gas station. I was praying that they got in line before me. But they didn’t. Right when I walk up to the attendant they get in line behind me. Instead of telling the attendant how much to put on my pump I just gave him the money and said “on pump 3″ instead of “5,10, etc. on pump 3″. As I was walking out the attendant yelled out loud “$2.37 on pump 3?” right before I got to the door. I stopped and said in shame “yeah on pump 3″.
I got quite a few stories like this. I think I might tell another one. I don’t think anyone I know reads this site.
@Humble_One,
lmao. sorry dawg, but that was hilarious. Only cause I could see that ish happening to me.
@Humble_One,
Damn, son. I could see that happening to me. Why does the worse sh*t happen with the prettiest women are around?
@Humble_One, Yeah that isht is hilarious… you know he did that on purpose right?- prolly called you a broke muthfuka too under his breath- smh
@Humble_One,
LMAO! Damn, I’m happy I live in NJ. We don’t have to get out our cars to pay.
@LaBakir,
If you don’t have to get out your car how do pay for gas?
@Humble_One,
They take the cash or the card at the pump. The attendant can swipe the card right at the pump where the gas comes from.
@LaBakir,
Yup, I used to love that. I’m a Cali girl so I didn’t even know how to act, lol! You coming to me AND the gas is cheaper!??? WHUT!?
@Humble_One,
aw. my little brother used to do that. lol.
and yeah… dude def did that on purpose. lol
@Humble_One,
I’ve come to the pump with 2 dollars and change myself. I wish a mutha would. I can write entire chapters on being broke and since ‘ish is real out here economy wise, could letting the women go ahead of you helped?
@Humble_One, a similar incident happened to my best friend, she tried to convince ME to get out and take the 3.00 for pump six. my response” girl STOP” you betta be glad you got those three, somebody only puttin 2.37 in! lol j/k
I had this same dilemma about 15 years ago….my cousin is an AKA, and had left her umbrella at our house. I was all set to walk out the door with it, but my mother FORBADE me to leave the house…mumbling something about “I don’t want noone thinking your an AKA when you’re not…”. I think I was late to school, too, over that.
During the early Myspace days…I pulled a chick who was Trini, toned up and in the military. Welp…one day ole Captain was going to go looking at some houses and then hang out. So I go to pick her up and everything was okay except…
The outfit she was wearing showed her deep cleavage which didn’t necessarily prop her boobies up but showed how they sagged a bit. Then…*loses saliva in mouth*…*cough* she had ashy feet. Now once she was in the car, my eyes did stare at the boobs a bit, but what was worse was I kept lookin at those ashy feet. Her, being a typical woman, of course wanted to go into a store real quick before we went to eat.
Now my pride would not let me take this women anywhere near my side of town with ashy azz feet and that ridiculous outfit. So we went to some spot out in No VA where nobody knew me. During the car ride, I was rummaging through my armrest console looking for that spare tube of cocoa butter (yes my hands get ashy sometimes) in order to pull over and accidentally blast in on her feet. Needless to say we didn’t really clique like that so…charge it to the game.
@CPT Callamity,
bwahahahahaha!!!!
ahhh. the days of myspace. lol
@CPT Callamity,
*dies*
@CPT Callamity,
Hilarious!
…but I have to shake my head at the saggy tig-o-bitties, no excuse for not wearing a support bra (especially if you know you need one).
@ Humble One
lmao. sorry dawg, but that was hilarious. Only cause I could see that ish happening to me.
Boy, I tell ya. My pride has definitely had me took a few L’s in my lifetime. Here’s one:
I moved to Mobile right out of college and didn’t know a soul. I met people through myspace and facebook because I didn’t know where to go kick it at. I met a AKA that was cool but was not attracted at all but hey, I get along with women just fine. I was out at the mall and she was with some of her sorors and one of them caught my eye. She was tall, nice and curvy, and was an engineer, like me. Since her soror introduced, we traded business cards and started communicating. Nothing serious, but we kicked it a few times. Even cooked dinner for her. The company Christmas party rolls around and I ask to go with me, just have a few drinks and laugh at the drunk rednecks at the party. She said that was cool but can we just go as friends because I am talking to someone right now. Now a part of me was devastated because I was really starting to like and I thought we were getting close. I wanted to curse her ass out but you know, pride made me take the L on that one and we went to the party. All of the 2520s thought we were dating and to add to the funny, my co-worker, who just happened to be a Delta, knew about the situation and requested the DJ play “Shake It Off” by Mariah Carey and told me to dance with her. She laughed at my ass the whole night. The girl left and I left with my coworker and his girlfriend and got damn near sh*t faced while bar hopping downtown.
To add to that L, I took another L when she asked me to her cousin’s NYE party. Apparently, the dude that she was talking lost interest and she needed someone to hang with. Like the idiot that I am, I said yes.
Pride. You b*tch, you.
@ComicBookGuy, “Like the idiot that I am, I said yes.”
Awww… that’s just sweet.
@Yeah…SO!?!,
I knew I could count on feedback from you. lol
How have you been?
@ComicBookGuy, grrrreat… working like a slave. What you been up to?
@Yeah…SO!?!,
Same here, bout to get back to jet settin’ for the J.O.B.. Glad it is finally warming up out here in Houston.
@ComicBookGuy, “jet settin” are we?… you’re such a f*king show-off.
@Yeah…SO!?!,
Whatever. After doing this for two years, flying wears me the hell out. I am exhausted every time I come home. At least I like Southwest Airlines. They got good service.
@ComicBookGuy,
awwww….you’re a sweetheart
I would’ve shook something alright…i would’ve channled Ike Turner and shook the shi* outta her
I kid…I kid
@LaBakir,
That was one of the least embarrassing moments of my adult life, believe it or not.
Hey, I checked out your blog. You got damn good taste in music. The Superfly soundtrack is one of the best albums ever created. “Freddie’s Dead” is a song that is still relevant today. Oh yeah, now I see why we get along so well. You’re a Taurus, like me.
@ComicBookGuy,
stop the effing press! You’re a Taurus?! That does explain alot. I ALWAYS get along my male Taurus’ on some BFF shi*
@ComicBookGuy,
awwww. tis what i like about nice guys. they will ultimately always be nice. can’t help it. lol
@Muze,
Thanks. I think.
What up, doe? What’s good in the D on this Friday?
@ComicBookGuy,
heyhey… writing my hands off as usual trying to meet deadlines. …keep getting distracted though. wompwomp. lol.
how you be?
@Muze,
I’m good. Enjoying an actual nice day in Houston. I’ll be up in the D for a few days to holla at some customers. It’s been a minute since I’ve been up there.
@ComicBookGuy,
oh cooool. let me know when you’re around… i’ll go grab Humble_One and RocktheCatbox and we’ll have our own mini VSB picnic. lol
@ComicBookGuy,
“She was tall, nice and curvy, and was an engineer, like me.”
You’re an engineer too? Whats your discipline? It’s good to see another engineer here.
@Humble_One,
I got a mechanical degree, but now I do design work and outside sales for a pipe company.
@ComicBookGuy,
The irony. I’m working on CATIA right now and just saw a job for a company in Houston that makes the infrastructure for oil companies. You know pipes and stuff.
@Humble_One,
We do small diameter stuff, 4″ OD max. I sell sign posts and sign breakaway systems to distributors around Detroit.
I wanted to tell you, man. If you want to see how it goes down in Houston, check out http://www.indmix.com. They have pictures from all of the happenings in Houston, i.e. where the women like we discussed yesterday can be found.
@ComicBookGuy, what you did was act like gentleman, but um… wouldn’t pride make you NOT do those things? as in not take an L…
@Miss Patterson,
You know what? You may be right, but all in all, it’s a funny story.
@Miss Patterson,
Agreed. Comic Book Guy you did act like a Gentleman
@Miss Patterson, @legitimate_soul
That is greatly appreciated, ladies.
Panama you the attention span of a goldfish… I’m still tryna figure out what the heyll this post was about… Straight up now tell me are you really going to love ME forever?- OKay!
Didn’t know you were a Paula Abdul fan? I like “Straight Up” too…boo, but I liked “Knocked Out” better. Only real G’s set the pride aside and quote Paula songs…huh! Ok…that is all.
Broke Moment: During my undergrad days (Southern University Baton Rouge circa 1996-2000), money was face lift tight! I would save change from wherever I could find it (bottom of my purse, car, couch, etc.) to ensure I could put gas in my ride to get to class. I went to the bank and ask for change wrappers to roll up my coins. (I mean, who wants to stand at the counter of the gas station counting…$3.85, .90, .95, .96, .97, .98, .99, $4.00)? It wasn’t worth risking the multiple side-eyed looks. Anyway, I went into my usual gas station (where they knew my MO for paying for gas), but this particular day the guy I had a crush on walked up behind me in line. *GASP* I had to think quickly! I could put my roll of coins on the counter and pay for my gas, owning up to my lack of real paper OR I could pretend that I forgot to get something and jump out of the line to avoid him seeing my rolled up $4.00 in coins. Of course I jumped out of line, walked over to the chip aisle pretending to scan my options all while hoping my crush would hurry and leave. *Whew*…that was close. While I managed to dodge that bullet, I wasn’t prepared for the fact that it took me all of 2.5 seconds to pump my $4.00 into the tank. I probably left tire marks getting out of there.
funny story dude. i would have said eff it and just got wet. under no circumstances would i use a sorority umbrella. the jokes would be endless. would you really want to be called a miaka for a solid week?
@Tunde, i would have said eff it and just got wet.
*filed under things Antonio Cromartie would say*
@Yeah…SO!?!, i’m lost on the cromartie reference.
@Tunde,
lol. Dude is a corner for the Jets that was traded from San Diego. He is 25 and has 9 kids by 8 women in 5 different states.
@Tunde, The dude with all the babies?- never mind…
I work w/ high school students. So about 2 years ago…2 of my mentees (who were on the football team) and I would talk about working out and what not. They didn’t believe that I would be getting my work outs in. Soon, I start receiving challenges to come to the weight room w/ them. I had to wait for the perfect day b/c I run the activities at the after school program.
Once they see I’m serious about coming….1 of them is like “nah miss, I don’t want you to come. the guys will be looking at you”. I promise to wear sweats or shorts w/ stretch pants. He still isn’t pleased. But the challenge has already been accepted.
So I finally go the weight room. I’m lifting. I mean I’m on my 50 Cent ish *cue “in da club* instrumental* Now usually I max out at 12lbs on the dumb bells…but he got me lifting 15lbs. I’m in all of my glory. Then he tells me to do 20lbs. I started to say I can’t, but I ain’t no punk about my shi*. So I grab those 20lbs dumb bells…and he says to do 5 reps. I’m like “nah son, I got 8 in me”.
Fast forward to the next day.
I can’t put my arms down. I feel like a damn G.I. Joe figure. I got on this brown leather jacket, and my arms can’t really get out of the 90 degree angle positiong they are in. It looks as if I’m constantly ready to do the Robot. I don’t even know how the hell I got out of that jacket. I never hurt so bad in my life.
@LaBakir,
Hilarious. I so could not picture a woman doing that. That sounds something a dude would do. Sore biceps do suck, though.
@ComicBookGuy,
LOL…I will admit…I can be slightly competitive. I’m the ninja that can turn a game of Scrabble into an all out blood fest. And well, my pride won’t let me look like the person who can’t “man” up…lol.
I
@LaBakir,
Funny thing. I actually played Scrabble and used the word “Id” during the game, just like Lisa did on the first episode of The Simpsons. The people I was playing with must have forgotten about that episode because they argued with me about it and eventually had to get a dictionary.
@ComicBookGuy,
Damn, I didn’t know that! I’m gonna have to use that one,lol
@LaBakir,
too funny. sounds like my first day of collegiate volleyball tryouts after not playing for years. i seriously could not walk the next day. neva again.
@Muze,
Yeah, pre-season for collge v-ball was tough too…smh
Hello everyone…i read VSB blog regularly and I hardly ever post. I must say that this post was funny….if i was a guy and all i had was the AKA umbrella i probably would have used it and then on my lunch break went and bought a new “more manly” one. As a member of SIGMA GAMMA RHO SORORITY INC. (EEEEE-YIP) I would have had the same struggle (back in 2001-2007) but i probably would have used the umbrella. I LOVE my sorority and have met some of the most dynamic, interesting, and WONDERFUL women. I am a lil old now i PLEDGED in SP 2001 and back then i would not be caught DEAD in any other colors other than my own….That NEO fever had me so GUNG HO for real!! Now that I am past undergrad and grad and working on this damn PhD it is not a big deal anymore. If i was pouring like that i would have grabbed that umbrella and skeedaddled on to work. I am a true SGRHO and any other color or peri dont phase me it whats in my HEART and that is the glory of the BLUE and GOLD!! I look good in RED&WHITE, PINK&GREEN, BLUE&WHITE…but best in BLUE AND GOLD!! I hate showing up anywhere looking like a wet cat! ugggh! I only have one rule DONT TOUCH MY WOOD!! its hanging on the wall so u aint got no business touching it anyway!!
well thats my 2 cents…..
Talk about pride…
Back when I was on the swim team in HS, we had one of those co-ed invitational meets with teams from other HS’s. While in between laps, I noticed a group of girls from another school on the other side of the pool deck. I made my way over to them totally forgetting that I was on the pool deck without shoes on. I made it half way there before i ended up slipping and sliding across the deck (on my back) the rest of the way directly in front of them (and 2 of their coaches).
The crowd erupted in laughter and I walked off slowly and in pain.
I got the number of one of the girls as they were leaving to go get on the bus.
Guess it wasn’t so bad after all.
“I can’t put my arms down. I feel like a damn G.I. Joe figure. I got on this brown leather jacket, and my arms can’t really get out of the 90 degree angle positiong they are in. It looks as if I’m constantly ready to do the Robot. I don’t even know how the hell I got out of that jacket. I never hurt so bad in my life.”
LOL. The same thing happened to me. About 10 years ago I started back working out after slacking off for about 6-8 months. So on my first day I tried to do the same workout I did when I stopped working out. The next morning I went to work with my right arm stuck in 90 degree angle and my left arm in about a 45 degree angle. It was crazy. If I tried to straighten my arm it would pop back into a 90 degree angle. My homegirl told me I looked like a hurt little bird.
@LaBakir,
Ok I don’t know how this ended up here but this is a reply to your post.
@Humble_One,
“If I tried to straighten my arm it would pop back into a 90 degree angle.”
LMAO…same problem I had. If I got one arm “unstuck”….afterward, the other arm would just get stuck again.
first off i am taking the title as a shout out to me and my memphis brethren.
second t hat was foolish. F!ck that I would have used it and I am a girl and not an AKA. I will be got DAYUMED if would have called in sick and used gas and money for some shyt that I already had at my disposal.
you werent skee wee-ing and strutting while saying “im pretty on left”… with the joint.
……were you?
lol
@shay-d-lady,
I concur.
Btw, I so enjoyed reading your blog. You have some interesting stories…Lol.
@Panama, ( re:Scuttle )
It’s…it’s a fact confirmation, dipped in a shout out, sprinkled with a little bit of make-my-day
::faints::
Funny post. You definitely should’ve used the umbrella but I can kinda see why you didn’t.
I’m an AKA and my first cousin is a Delta. About a month ago we were doing some house work for our grandma before a family gathering. I had an extra outfit and a spare outfit just in case I wasn’t feeling the other one in my car to change into before the event. So did she except when it came time to get dressed she was missing a shirt or didn’t like her shirt or something so I offered her a pink sweater that I happened to have as part of my spare outfit. It magenta, not even a pink that I would think she would consider offensive but she flat out refused to wear it. There were no letters or anything on it. She couldn’t wear my other outfit because her shoes didn’t go with it or something. Rather than wear a perfectly fine, clean sweater from the pink family of colors she kept on her over sized t-shirt and sweats and steered clear of cameras for the entire day!
This is the same cousin who willingly shares her DST umbrella with anyone else in the family except me. It could be some 40 days and 40 nights type rain and she still wouldn’t set foot under my AKA umbrella.
I guess the moral of my story is that pride will have a whole bunch of people wet!
my best friend was in the same situation when he crashed at my house…and got caught in the brimstone that was last weeks flooding in NYC. He admitted to eyeing my Delta umbrella but knowing better he just chucked it up and walked out uncovered….lol.
DOPENESS becomes you. i’m feeling this entry.
As far as myself….I’m going to refrain from sharing this time, the dishwasher story I told earlier this week is enough sharing from me. lol
@Saule Wright,
Awww man, why the hell not? Hahahaaa…
I thoroughly enjoyed reading them, along with everyone else.
…whats an AKA umbrella? Were you ‘shamed because the umbrella was girly colours???
oh im so confused!
You guys are all nuts. I don’t care who’s colors or letters are on that umbrella. There is NO WAY I am stepping into my subzero office dripping from head to toe
@CrissieD,
I concur. And I’m a GDI who has a greek family (which means I would catch flack from hell…and I still wouldn’t give 2 flying f**ks).
That’s one funny damn post… is it an umbrella if you don’t use it? Heh heh, I’m still chuckling. I can picture your gangsta azz sitting in the car for 20 minutes, staring at it, and finally defeated by a little pink and green umbrella!
Panama, defeated!
It was planted, Panama. Not an “accident”, and worse than “the lost earring” plants. She did it intentionally to screw with your mind.
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
The whole AKA unbrella thing has happened to me twice. My best friend and my grandmother are AKAs and on two occasions I was trapped in the car with only their unbrellas. It was a very hard decision but I just braved the rain, ended up soaked and one of those times I am pretty sure that the result was a horrible cold BUT I still stand by my decision to not use the umbrellas. It just wouldn’t have been right.
Really? Are you serious? LOL. I guess we all have been met with these kindsof situations where our pride/ego have gotten in the way of the decisions that we have made. I know I froze one night in a movie theatre because I refused the coat of the rude man I was set up with on a blind date. Yes I could have worn it just because but my principles didn’t want a thing from this man, other than to hear him say good-bye. The next week I had a cold but I was perfectly fine with it.
Tiffany
http://liferequiresmorechocolate.blogspot.com