Double standards are one of those things that exist in spades in this world. There’s males thinking they can cheat because that’s what men do, and then there are women who scream for equality chastising men who don’t want to pay for first date dinners. It’s a tangled web we weave and my guitar gently weeps for the middle ground.
What does have to do with the price of modern medicine in Tijuana? Nothing, but it does make me think about the many things that women are able to get away with that a dude could NEVER in a hundred years get away with…lest he look extra ‘spicious or at the very least like a conviction waiting to happen. I’m not sure what it is about women’s ability to do certain things that men can’t do. Maybe it’s the “intent” doctrine that states that if a man does it there is some sort of sinister malice involved or a credible threat present or he’s exacting some sort of patriarchal domination. Whereas women, on the other hand, are merely arbiters of all that is well and good with the world so there’s no malicious threat, just the threat of love and peace.
Panama, what are you talking about? Glad you asked. Wrote a song about it, like to hear it, here it go. www.ps.com, I totally didn’t write a song about it.
Here are some things women can get away with that a man could never pull off…
1. Grabbing wangs
I cannot tell you how many times in the club I’ve had a woman purposefully and intentionally grab my wang. Or even walking down the street…extremely bold women will grasp my crotch and keep on walking…LIKE THAT SH*T IS OKAY! It used to happen in high school all the time. Now, reverse that. If I were walking down the street and grabbed a woman’s crotchal region there’s a very good chance that I”d catch the wrath of Khan with a soda on the side and likely face a misdemeanor charge. Heaven forbid I get Tier III’d and end up on a sex registry. Granted, I wouldn’t ever just grab a chicks boobs or anything anyway because I do indeed value my freedom, but the point is, a woman could and guys would just laugh it off. A man does it and I’m degrading women AND chancing becoming one in jail. Hm.
2. Suggestively talking about smanging minors
I remember when Chris Brown first hit the scene. Grown ass women were out here talking about how fine he was and what they’d do to him. Or even Justin Bieber. There’s a school teacher out there somewhere RIGHT NOW mad that he ain’t in her class so she can get pregnant with his lovechild. Now, let’s just say you were out at a party and folks were talking about smanging celebs and somebody was like, “yeah, dog, Keke Palmer does it for me!” Records would scrrrrrrrrr…and folks would look at him like there was something wrong with him. Hell, I even cringed when one of those random ninjas from YMCMB – it’s Yung mula baby – said, “and in about three years holler at me Miley Cyrus”. It’s funny, but it felt skeevy. She’s engaged now by the way.
3. Hitting a man
We’ve covered this before so there’s no need to delve too deeply. But women can DEFINITELY get away with hitting a man and he’s just supposed to take it. Then again, one of the major go-to-statements if a woman is trippin’ is to yell out “Anna Mae” so I do realize that we don’t really respect domestic violence anyway. Lesson there: people suck for free, hoes do it for profit.
4. Loudcap police
I’ve seen it and despite most people’s insistence that they know better, I think women can definitely get away with way more in talking about to police. One of my boys got tossed in jail for “not shutting up” when there was also a chick present who wouldn’t shut her yap. While I’m sure most of us coloreds would know better than to talk back to police, I get the impression that a woman would feel more at ease making the decision to “get smart” than a man would. The guy knows he’s going to jail. The woman would be surprised.
Those are four different scenarios where a woman could get away with sh*t that a man couldn’t. Are there any others? And in the spirit of equal opportunity, what are some things a man can get away with that a woman can’t? I know that one’s a lot more common, but VSB is EOE like a motherf*cker. Hell our 3 interns are women. VSB is overrun by women.
Talk to me.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. DON’T GRAB MY WANG aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3
For the DC folks: It looks like your boy PJ won a happy hour at McFadden’s for this coming Friday night from 10pm-midnight. I get to drink free for those two hours and anybody who comes and says my name at the door can get $3 of almost anything for those 2 hours. So come hang with VSB P at McFaddens at 2401 Pennsylvania Ave, NW on Friday, June 8 from 10pm to midnight. I’ll post the address tomorrow since I’m too lazy to do it now! No cover, just drunken fun.