Yesterday, I said that any woman can be charmed. I fervently believe this to be true. Deep down, all women are romantics just waiting for some man to come in and sweep them off their feet with good conversation, romance, and some good wang. So despite the cold demeanor that many women possess, they’re all secretly hoping that even the 5’4” midget brotha with two gold and two silver teeth and wearing Fila’s will be the prince they read about when they heard about the first “tougher than Nigerian hair” weave goddess, Rapunzel.
But how is it possible that any woman can be charmed right out of her panties? I’m glad you asked. You see, we here at VSB.com are benevolent souls who’s sole goal in life is to help with the Cotton Removal Project people find love.
And for the record, this assumes you have the cajones to actually go talk to a chick. Also, let’s just assume we’re past the initial approach and trying to figure out how to get the young lady interested.
With that said, I present:
CHARMING HER SOCKS OFF: 5 WAYS TO CHARM A CHICK
1. Make her laugh. Despite the sheer no-brainer-ness of this it’s not easy to make a chick laugh. There are a few ways to do this. For some of you fellas, you can just whip out your Johnson. I’m sure that’s good for a laugh or two, but that’s not so much charming as it is sexual harassment. For most guys, being witty is key. Try to say something smart and funny. Try NOT to say something so STUPID that she’s laughing AT you and not with you because you tried to show you were smart. Basically, if you get into a conversation about grammar and the word homonym comes up, don’t say:
“Yeah, I really don’t get down with homonyms like that for real. I’m 100% percent straight, you know what I’m saying?”
2. Be vague and mysterious, but open and inviting…all at the same time. Tell her everything and nothing all at the same time. Women like to feel special and always want to feel like they’re getting more information out of you than other people have. In short, if she asks you a question just tell her that, “Look, it’s not in my nature to be mysterious. But I can’t talk about it and I can’t talk about why. However, I feel like I can open up to you.” See, say nothing and yet you’ve made yourself mysterious. Charmed.
3. Be artsy. I don’t quite get this one, but women love artsy cats. We can blame Love Jones for this one. But if you are talking to a chick and start alluding to how much you love jazz and art and how much music moves your soul, chances are you can see her naked. And hell, don’t actually KNOW what you’re talking about. You see, women like to believe in deep connections and passion. If you have passion and its palpable, well, you just might be able to get into a chick’s deep connection.
4. Basically stand out by being a little quirky. You’d think this would be a detriment, but the more memorable you are, the better chances you have of a chick catching some kind of instant attraction to you. Truthfully, there’s nothing more attractive to a chick than a dude who seems like he doesn’t give a shit what anybody thinks but will be sensitive to her needs. If you can show her this in the first meeting, you’ll see her naked before Shawty Lo can spell onomatopoeia.
And yes I spelled that right. Go ahead, you can look it up.
5. Don’t pay her any real attention but keep her attention. This is similar to standing out, but in this scenario, you’re actually playing her to the left but making sure she still knows you’re there. This is some shit an artsy, quirky, cat would do and he’d stand out. If you make other people laugh, she’ll bite hook, line, and sinker. And then she’s as good as got. Call her a fish, jack, cuz she’s caught up like Usher in the Pacific Ocean.
Of course, these are but a few general ways to charm a chick. Essentially, the key to charming a woman is to keep her attention. If you can keep her attention, she’ll somehow think that perhaps you will hold her attention for life, because women are optimistic and believers. And smilers.
Folks of VSB.com, what are some other ways to charm the sex socks out of a woman? Open up and give.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST
I have no problem following these steps around women that I have *no* interest in. When I get around someone I like, well, not so much.
This results in a lot of messed-up situations.
you know, i’ve noticed that i’ve been that way before too. around women i dont particularly want to sleep with i’m open, engaging, and gregarious, but if i just met you and i’m thinking about getting into your seven’s, i become aloof, distant, and “mysterious” (not my words.)
thing is, this isn’t intentional. i’ve always done this as long as i cant remember. its like, until i see that you’re interested in me, you’ll have absolutely no idea that i’m interested in you.
i wonder why i do this
I do this same thing with men…and I’ve never been able to figure out why. So then we both walk around pretty much pretending to ignore the other, not knowing that we’re mutually interested…which result in neither of us getting what we want. Quel strange…
“i wonder why i do this”
with a chick you don’t want to hit, you have nothing to lose so there’s no real thought process going on. with a chick you WANT to bed comes the thoughts of not f*cking it up…so one might think to step back a little in hopes of not doing anything to screw up the possibility.
people think too much methinks.
“people think too much methinks.”
a couple of zombie’s usually has a way of stopping that
And the chicks you usually dont want is the one who is into you, because you are being youself. Being yourself oozes confidence And we all know how women feel about confident men.
Champ that sounds like the 2nd grade analogy of when little boys push on little girls cause they like them Aka “grow up”..lol..just kidding, but thats what it seems like if you don’t let it be know right off bat.
“Champ that sounds like the 2nd grade analogy of when little boys push on little girls cause they like them Aka “grow up”..lol..just kidding, but thats what it seems like if you don’t let it be know right off bat.”
i think i just like to get a read on people before they get a read on me. this same thought process is behind why i never sit with my back to the door in any public place. i want to see you before you see me
I see you keeping that guard up…nothing wrong with that.
@NY – similar analogy, i call that ’5th grade flirting’.
note to champ: Sevens are so 4 years ago.
but i guess if you were Too up on women’s fashion, i might worry about you. boomshakalaka
Anechoic, J Boogz, Champ not being able to be witty and inviting [fully expressing yourself] or claming up around someone whom you are attracted to is more than likely fear. FAFC.
i have felt it before when i was attracted to someone but mostly not. i guess i just stopped caring what people might think. methinks that i have found a non-chalant space that is self accepting and genuinely don’t attach my worth to whether they accept me or not. stop seeking approval. desire, intend and righteously will instead.
when it comes to a woman i’m attracted to i don’t depend on or define myself by the results of our encounter and subsequently i move freely. when you do this most people will look at how you move and fully express and accept who you are and wish they could do the same thing. by doing this you can change the mood of a room. (being self accepting can invite and emancipate others) some won’t get over the hump but that’s just to bad for themselves.
here’s the thing thing. you shouldn’t be attached to results. sure, have desires and have healthy intentions but know that the results won’t make or break you. this goes for everything especially in the dating world. as for males and females: they keep building them everyday. what’s the big ass deal.
the law of detachment and the law of attraction.
FAFC!
with me, there’s a bit of narcissism attached into that too. it’s like i’m saying in my head “okay…you have potential, but you’ll need to prove to me why you have potential before you get a read on me”
i know this is weird as hell, lol, but it works for me.
Champ says: “okay…you have potential, but you’ll need to prove to me why you have potential before you get a read on me”
thats a good attitude. [narcisscitic or no] never rush, move fast when its time to move swiftly but never rush.
my whole thing is never seek approval, never think or act from a position of neediness or fear and never attach your worth to the results.
we are creators and there is plenty more to be created. there is more of where everything came from. more well suited men and women, money etc.
having omething or someone doesn’t necessarily give you satisfaction or a feeling of abundance. there are many people who have a shitload of money but live in fear of loosing it. …and then there eare tose who have lost multiple fortunes and are able to regain it multiple times.
i work on total self acceptance and mastering my inner world.
“my whole thing is never seek approval, never think or act from a position of neediness or fear and never attach your worth to the results.”
i agree. my self worth is certainly not attached to the outcome. additionally, my thought process has always been…if he’s interested, he’ll make it known , thereby initiating (as i feel a man SHOULD). so if i had to give a reason why i don’t directly approach, this is why.
now the ignoring part is directly proportional to how interested i am…so if i’m REALLY interested, it’s like they don’t exist. all the while, i’m watching like a mofo, giving myself time to decide if it’s something i’d want anyway. i mean, if i encounter them, i speak, but that’s about it. again, if he’s interested, he’ll usually wonder why i seem so aloof, ask me directly or make some other excuse to speak to me, which usually breaks the ice. now why this has worked, i don’t know…cause it isn’t logical. but what about dating/relationships is?
Good advice GK.
I find good manners and diction quite fetching on a man. There’s nothing like a Southern gentleman of the darker persuasion gently placing his hand on the small of your back on a flight of stairs or taking your arm as you cross the street. Manners=swoon. Inane artsy babble=chastity belt.
I suppose I’m somewhat of an aberration b/c ignoring me is the surest way for a man to be x’d out of the equation. I’ve always been of opinion that if a man doesn’t have the good sense to recognize that I’m the closest thing to perfection he’ll every encounter and act accordingly (i.e. openly pursue me), then he’s obviously a cretin. One does not date cretins.
I concur with the manners, when you think you have met the guy who resuscitated chivalry it is an instant turn on…
I’ve always been of opinion that if a man doesn’t have the good sense to recognize that I’m the closest thing to perfection he’ll every encounter and act accordingly (i.e. openly pursue me), then he’s obviously a cretin. One does not date cretins.
[Reply]
LMBO! I love this…this is my motto from now on
LOL…this is quite funny.
Manners are good… but I have found that women often equate them to b*tch@ssness which is not a highly coveted trait in any man. Perhaps its just a fine line.
“Manners are good… but I have found that women often equate them to b*tch@ssness which is not a highly coveted trait in any man. Perhaps its just a fine line.”
it is. typically, women from nyc are the worst with this.
women from up north tend to suck the most anyway.
yeah…i said it.
Wow really?
It’s like that up North? Daaang.
“women from up north tend to suck the most anyway.
yeah…i said it.”
I think women from the north just have a different attitude when it comes to being pursued. We are a little tougher on our men and in general expect them to act more “macho.” I think its the weather that makes us so cold-hearted.
And unlike women from the South we arn’t willing to do anything to keep a man. Yeah, I said that!!!
“And unlike women from the South we arn’t willing to do anything to keep a man. Yeah, I said that!!!”
Hmm…so let me get this right, a woman who’s willing to do anything to keep her man is to be frowned upon?
I do think cold-weather chicks don’t have as sunny a disposition as southern women. then again, i’m from down south so perhaps i’m biased.
“I do think cold-weather chicks don’t have as sunny a disposition as southern women. then again, i’m from down south so perhaps i’m biased.”
this is true. thing is, underneath the northface they’re still the same, its just that you gotta get through all them damn feathers to see it.
“Hmm…so let me get this right, a woman who’s willing to do anything to keep her man is to be frowned upon?”
In my opinion, yes. And by anything I mean drastic measures like lying dead to his face, faking pregnancies, actually getting preggers just so he’ll stick around, and generally dealing with things you wouldn’t normally put up with just so he’ll stay with you. Thats crazy to me but I have seen all of that with chicks in the south…and thats in the past year alone! Then again, maybe I just dont know enough up-north women cuz I have a feeling the same sh** goes on up here too.
@Dom: okay you mean psychotic behavior to keep a man. not, cook and make him feel like a man.
“Then again, maybe I just dont know enough up-north women cuz I have a feeling the same sh** goes on up here too.”
……
hey! i’m from up north and i love chivalry. and my brother lives up north too (nyc) and he created chivalry. the nyc ladies swoon when he does all that door holding, back spotting madness. who said that was b*tchy? but then again my brother is awesome & has good genes so maybe this plays a part in it too.
And unlike women from the South we arn’t willing to do anything to keep a man. Yeah, I said that!!!
Don’t get it twisted.
“And unlike women from the South we arn’t willing to do anything to keep a man. Yeah, I said that!!!”
wow …somebody else had some truth serum too this morning LOL….
This is ummm…rather true.
Life is different up north, especially in NYC. It’s a lot more faster and hectic, so our expectations might be different. Also, we’re not as trust worthy as women from down south and it takes more to impress us. But, we’re very loyal and we’ll have your back. I’m from new york and i like guys with manners because I like to be treated well. But, I don’t like a guy who’s too soft. It’s a balance.
Please speak for yourself regarding trustworthiness.
Thanks.
Oops that was a typo. I meant to write that we don’t trust as easy.
Dom, you AINT NEVER LIED! I’ve noticed and heard things from Southern women that blew my mind. One day i just realized we were raised differently and where I’m from i don’t care how many bills you are paying, you aren’t ‘entitled’ to a chick on the side too.
And I don’t think we are as hard on our men here (in d.c.) as women are in ny. Manners, among the grown set, count for a lot.
heard things from Southern women that blew my mind. One day i just realized we were raised differently and where I’m from i don’t care how many bills you are paying, you aren’t ‘entitled’ to a chick on the side too.
I wanna know what part of the South you’re referencing…this ain’t gonna fly round this way. lol
Oh please. Southern women are no more apt than any other group of women to fake pregnancy tests and put sugar in gas tanks. I’m as country as cornbread but I’ve got plenty of Northern girlfriends and I could match anyone tit for tat with “crazy lady” stories from their exploits alone.
However, those of us who were raised to be ladies pride ourselves on being feminine at all times. We’re going to smile politely if a gentleman introduces himself instead of mean-mugging. If he acts improper, we’ll cut him a nice side-eye instead of getting loud and suggesting fisti-cuffs. When our man says that he misses Sunday dinner at his nana’s house, we’ll surprise him with a homecooked meal instead of Hotpockets and beer. Also…we’re fixing his plate and serving him first. If he wants seconds, we’ve got that too. We take pleasure in being pretty and our men like us that way. We treat them well and they in turn spoil us rotten. In my opinion, that’s a rather equitable trade. When you hear a man singing the praises of Southern sisters, he’s not talking about Jackie-O and ‘nem. He’s refering to ladies and yes, we do have the game on lock.
I’ve read a number of comments on this blog from posters stating that they can’t remember the last time they had a date or asking why no one goes on dates anymore. The answer is that plenty of men are asking women out on dates. They just aren’t asking the ones who don’t smile, who suffer from attitudith stanksus, who chase them down like Monique after a pork chop, who don’t take care of themselves, etc. All one has to do is take off that hard exoskeleton, put on a flirty dress and smile and I guarantee that one will get asked out. Try it free for 30 days.
Are you listening ladies??
Clearly you’ve been meeting the wrong women.
Expand your horizons.
[“Manners are good… but I have found that women often equate them to b*tch@ssness which is not a highly coveted trait in any man. Perhaps its just a fine line.”
it is. typically, women from nyc are the worst with this.]
I disagree.
Chivalry could never be mistaken for b*tch@ssness.
I think you’ve mistaken the New Yorker’s keen ability to recognize b*tch@ss behavior before you’ve even noticed us.
ex. You’re out in public acting a certain way — un-chivalrous, but when you step to you you act as if you’re the perfect gentleman.
Meanwhile, we saw you exhibit the opposite behavior before you even noticed us.
That’s b*tch@ssness.
Constancy is the key to not being mislabeled.
my kryptonite is a genuine gentleman…and chivalry doesn’t equal punk…it’s been my experience that the women that feel that way aren’t used to a MAN adn don’t know how to allow a man to open a door, pull out a chair…etc…gentlemen are most effective on ladies…not just females…but if she feels that way…you don’t (or shouldn’t) really want her anyway …and if you get her…f*ck the sh*t out of her to SHOW her there is no b*tch in you, and move on to find a woman that will appreciate that sh*t!!!
When it comes to LADIES, you bring out your gentlemen side. When it comes to undeserving females, you save the manners. Ladies will appreciate it…hoodrats wont’s, simple as that.
I do agree, it is a fine line though.
Pay her rent.
are u serious? thats shallow.
it may be shallow, but it’s true for many women
how is that charming though? is it the constant reminder that he’d do spend that much money for you?
or is it the constant reminder that he has ENOUGH money to pay two rents at the same time and is essentially paid?
I say you had the bills before he came so you can still pay the bills when he is there. Pay Your Rent…….that is foolishness if I have ever heard any. Charming…..heck naw
It was a joke. Although for some women that would charm the drawls right off them.
I knew that had to be a joke.
Hell no. It just makes you feel like a sucker when she leaves you.
Besides, if she can’t be her own person and pay her own rent, she’s probably got other problems.
“Besides, if she can’t be her own person and pay her own rent, she’s probably got other problems.”
this is true
kitsume didn’t say that the woman “can’t” pay. s/he just suggested that the man do it as a way to get the drawz. sounds like trickin to me. but um.. if ya got it? </weezy>
Not sure why, but the phrase ‘it aint trickin if ya got it’ just speaks to my soul on a deep level. I love it. Alright, carry on…
This isn’t charming.
that’s what i think as well.
Kitsune spits: “Pay her rent.” [to charm her]
heh, heh, heh (inhales) whoooo!
this sounds like the beginning of an “unhealthy bitc* dependency.” (for the man)
if a trick wants to charm me she can start by unfixing her mind to think such as this and unfix her lips to spit this blasphemy.
FAFC.
lol…i think kitsune was being facetious
I was being facetious indeed. Thanks Champ!
I like flowers. Sending me flowers, picking me flowers, etc makes my insides all warm and gushy.
Planting the bulbs in my front yard for me so I won’t have to get dirt under my fingernails? Yeah that means you get sexually harassed right in the front yard with all the neighbors watching.
I didn’t intend for this response to go here. My bad.
Cheryl said
Planting the bulbs in my front yard for me so I won’t have to get dirt under my fingernails? Yeah that means you get sexually harassed right in the front yard with all the neighbors watching
I can’t agree more. I love flowers and if you plant something for me, every time they bloom I’ll think of you and get all moist.
I like good conversation. No we dont have to be into world affairs (those are good conversations too). Not a conversation on how you would wear me out……but good conversation. Women love to talk. We like to be heard.
Holding my hand or putting your arm around me in a public place is charming.
Just being a gentleman. holding doors, Going to retrieve the car and picking me up from the door when its raining……..and i think I got this from a movie but ordering my food for me.
How about staying awake to cuddle and chit chat awhile we have made love………………….running a bubble bath. Massaging my feet.
Now paying me no attention will get u no where. If u walk off and start to buzz around the club with other women u really arent interested you are playing games.
Yeah listening to my every word and giving me the sense that you can feel me is very charming. Just lemme talk and talk and talk and show that you don’t even care to interrupt cause your just enjoying what I have to say that much. I love a guy that WANTS to listen to what I have to say.
“Just lemme talk and talk and talk and show that you don’t even care to interrupt cause your just enjoying what I have to say that much.”
lol…all that’s happened here is that the guy has been placed in a conversation coma. his attention isn’t due to interest as much as its “her words are making the blood rush from my brain and i cant move my neck”
I have a sister that likes to call and talk about what I feel is nothing. I know she just likes to he heard so I give her that fantasy. I just let her talk while I drift of to fantasyland in my mind. To her it seems as if I am listening but I am actually planning what I will do after I stop the facade. I have mastered this skill to perfection. I know I am not the only guy that knows how to do this. I think women (the boring ones that blather on about nothing) should be aware of the fact that you make us have to do this to you and ourselves.
I think men should also be aware that women do this too…at least, I know I do when somebody (male or female) is prattling on about some sh*t I could care less about. And don’t let me be on the phone with a dude and I’m sleepy…then it’s a whole other level…I miss entire chunks of convo. If you gotta ask me, “Are you falling asleep”…seriously, it’s 1AM, and you’re running your mouth about nada…WTF do YOU think? (yes, i’ve said this before)
I believe you I do this to dudes too. I do it at least once a day at work.
utc115..you hit the nail on the head…bravo! all those things you mentioned holds my attention as well. It lets us know that your in it to win it, I crave attention as well, without it i get a little pissy:( my guy doesn’t really do PDA’s, i say it form of affirmation and showing that person that they stand out from the rest. Plus it can be a form of 4-play before the actually boogie if its done right…
yeah i actually think this is a really good list. i was just listing general stuff.
i’ve always felt that certain touching of a chick will always excite her a little bit, especially if it’s the most sexual non-sexual contact ever.
“and i think I got this from a movie but ordering my food for me.”
really though? now do you mean you told him what you wanted and he ordered it for you from the waiter…or do you mean he decided what you were going to eat and ordered it for you?
both seem a little odd to me, but i imagine the latter wouldn’t go over so well with most women.
@ Panama. I think the latter would go over well. Just say we have been on a couple of dates and u know what I like. Or it could(maybe) be a romantic dinner that you have planned and taken care of everything so that it is ready when we arrive…………
Or it could(maybe) be a romantic dinner that you have planned and taken care of everything so that it is ready when we arrive…………
that’s totally different as i’m planning the whole thing. the element of surprise alone means that you have no say so anyway.
i think this is really a case by case thing. i don’t know too many women who would be happy with me ordering for them…maybe once they’d think it was different. but if that happened one too many times…yeah, no.
anything that happens too many times is redundant so one time is enough. thats charming……
utc115 states: “anything that happens too many times is redundant so one time is enough. thats charming……”
this sounds almost like polygamy. LOL!
“i think this is really a case by case thing. i don’t know too many women who would be happy with me ordering for them…maybe once they’d think it was different. but if that happened one too many times…yeah, no.”
I’ve seen/heard both women and men discuss doing this before. Some women seem to like it and some men seem to like doing it.
I’m a picky eater, so I’m not too sure about this.
Anyway, here’s a link to a blog where a woman describes an ideal birthday evening/celebration with her boyfriend.
The link is actually quite interesting in that it describes chivalrous behavior plus details about a man ordering a woman’s food.
http://abelleinbrooklyn.blogspot.com/2008/07/thank-you.html
“i think this is really a case by case thing.”
i agree. shit, its even case by case with the same chick. i’ve ordered someones favorite drink for them before, and got props, and got the side eye for doing the same thing a couple months later
I’ve experienced this too Champ. Case by case basis is the best way to handle this.
It can as long as he knows what I like. I went out with my new beau on saturday and he loves to order for me.
Sometimes he just looks at the menu and picks something I might like, or he’ll ask what Im having and order for me. Usually it results in something that’s good but I prob wouldnt have ordered for myself. It shows he’s paying attention to what I like and dont. Also, he always asks if can order for me first, he never just assumes that he can.
If I go to the restroom or something when we get to a restuarant, and when i come back you’ve ordered my favorite drink and appetizer, i ain’t mad at ya. But you have to know me first.
I would not want a man to order for me. That would not charm me at all.
It seems like some Fred Flintstone shit to me. I’d feel like I was treating a woman like a child if I ordered for her.
Yeah…not the business.
At all.
I hate being ignored. Nothing will put a man on the ‘no draws’ list faster than ignoring me. I’m not interested in ‘winning’ anyone’s attention. I mean, i’m not from the South
LOL
Bravo on this post, Panama. Its smart, funny and pretty much the damn truth.
And I am a female. Sue me.
thanks.
I’ll admit that I do love to laugh. So if I guy can make me laugh “w/him,” this is a good thing. However, that helps you during our initial greeting. This doesn’t promise you the panties or even a date, there has to be something more brought to the table. I’ll also admit that playing me to the left can be intriguing…but if played 2 the left too long, I get annoyed and then I’m done.
Here’s my short lists of charming things
(we’ve heard this already)
good conversation that reveals common interests and intelligence
genuine compliments
good memory(remembering that i had a long work day, so u leave a vmail saying hello and other sweet stuff)
ok..this one is a repeat also
being a freakin gentleman!!!(open my doors, hold my hand, if i have more than one bag…ask to carry it for me…jeez luiz!!(exhale)
so many men have lost this characteristic….or were they even taught?
humble spirit -this is important
overall…excellent post P!
“genuine compliments”
genuine is the operative word.
being a freakin gentleman!!!(open my doors, hold my hand, if i have more than one bag…ask to carry it for me…jeez luiz!!(exhale)
so many men have lost this characteristic….or were they even taught?
Sadly–this is becoming extinct.
t-lee…I know some gentlemen, but so many women are accustomed to doing that stuff for ourselves, we don’t let them show us what they’ve got! I will stand and wait for a brother to open the door if we are both going through…
as for teaching them…that has something to do with it too…I taught my son to open doors and let sisters go first…he gets upset if I forget and open my own door! I mean arms crossed with a frowny face “mommy I was trying to be a gentleman!!!”… lol…I hope these little girls mama’s are making sure their daughters expect such treatment!
I mean arms crossed with a frowny face “mommy I was trying to be a gentleman!!!”… lol…I hope these little girls mama’s are making sure their daughters expect such treatment!
This is too cute!!!
Love it.
I’m accustomed to it to. I let the man be the man, open the door, pull out the chair, etc. My Dad had my Mom, my sister and myself spoiled, and he taught my brothers how to do the same. He still does the same for my step-mom. It’s not a dead art, just a dying art.
Thats good! My mom used to do the same thing to my brother, including making him walk on the outside of the street if he’s with a female, take his hat off in buildings, and make sure he walks across the street with us.
I know I certainly grew up accustomed to such treatment and any man who offers less gets dropped real quick.
he gets upset if I forget and open my own door! I mean arms crossed with a frowny face “mommy I was trying to be a gentleman!!!”…
Too cute!
“he gets upset if I forget and open my own door! I mean arms crossed with a frowny face “mommy I was trying to be a gentleman!!!”… ”
This is so precious. You go Miss G…can you help a few other sisters raise their sons?? Do a workshop or something….LOL
word. i have an ex who consistently walked thru doors in front of me, doing the ever-so-lazy turnback hold the door open.
and i never stopped noticing it, even after a year. every time he did it, a flag went up in my southern gal brain. i’m such a fucking lady, so you be a gentleman please.
“genuine compliments”
what exactly is a genuine compliment? i mean, saying that “gosh…your ass looks scrumptious as hell. i want the recipe to THAT” can be just as genuine as “you have a great smile”
CHAMP…if you can get away with saying it…and you mean it…say it…but that’s just my opinion…genuine compliments are just that….genuine…but make sure you pepper in some non-sexual ego strokes too…and you got a winner!
“CHAMP…if you can get away with saying it…and you mean it…say it…but that’s just my opinion…genuine compliments are just that….genuine…but make sure you pepper in some non-sexual ego strokes too…and you got a winner!”
Perfect response Goodness.
We want to know that you sincerely like us as a person and that you like what you see.
“gosh…your ass looks scrumptious as hell. i want the recipe to THAT” can be just as genuine as “you have a great smile”
you’re fired. a disingenuous compliment is one that sounds like it’s coming from your homie rather than your lover, i.e.) “you look aaaiight”/ “you straight”/ “naw, you look cool”. this will result in a lifetime of pounds and hi-fives, homie.
i mean, saying that “gosh…your ass looks scrumptious as hell.
funny…real funny
“good memory(remembering that i had a long work day, so u leave a vmail saying hello and other sweet stuff)”
yeah, this one does work wonders in the charm department. as a man with beaucoup female friends, i’ve witnessed the both good and bad fallout from men doing, or not doing this.
y’all just all want to be the most specialist.
“y’all just all want to be the most specialist.”
*fanning myself with a church fan*
That’s the key right there. Make a woman feel wanted, not just sexually, though clearly that’s important to, and you are golden.
well, okay, you are golden if you are a viable candidate. A troll making me feel wanted isn’t quite the same, though i would never be rude to any guy, no matter how fugly, who was sincere with his.
y’all just all want to be the most specialist.
yes…the MOST specialist of all!
soulfire lp laments: “ok..this one is a repeat also
being a freakin gentleman!!!(open my doors, hold my hand, if i have more than one bag…ask to carry it for me…jeez luiz!!(exhale)
so many men have lost this characteristic….or were they even taught?”
what have women of today lost or not been taught(as it relates to their date or sig other etc.) where is womens respectful attention where it relates to a man?
soulfirelp adds: “humble spirit -this is important.”
i see very little respectful attention being given to men in similar situations and stages of relationship where women long for chivalry. i do however see a lot of self importance, lament and expectations that a man should be chivalrously attending to a womans needs, wants and desires and she usually has an heir of entitlement and not humility to accompany it.
what say ye?
GK – I feel you on this…but the comments are skewed to what women want, because that’s what the post asked for…lol…if it had asked what men want/what women do for their men to make them feel like the king that they are, etc…the comments would have gone the complete opposite…I know this type of thing feeds the “entitlement” monster, but it was the topic of the post…
but I still e-love you though, lol
(when I am in a relationship) I try to be what I want…supportive, complimentary, sweet, attractive, respectful, funny…etc…but again…I think most wome are that way…or maybe I should say, I feel that they should be that way…I can’t wait until this topic graces the screen on VSB
yep Goody, i read the post and i know it’s all about how to charm women but soulfire reminded me about how many women including those heard here on numerous ocassions lament how chivlary is lacking among men. it may be off message but hey when and where i’m inspired, i let it fly. i aint scared of u mu fuc*az. e-lubbs u too.
i feel you too GK.
I agree that women today aren’t being taught how to be respectable ladies as much. It’s one thing for me to expect my door opened, but I am wrong if I ignore u and don’t give u a thanks in return. When i taught school, I would see the girls calling “young gentlemen” gay or lame for opening the door. or if he wasn’t cursing at them or trying to grab all over them, they weren’t interested. that was crazy to me. i didn’t understand their perceptions about what respect was. and still don’t
as for myself, I appreciate gentlemen and I strive to be a good woman in return.
“as for myself, I appreciate gentlemen and I strive to be a good woman in return.”
keep up the good work.
““as for myself, I appreciate gentlemen and I strive to be a good woman in return.”
keep up the good work.’
i agree. carry on, trooper
I’m in total agreeance GK. It has to be a two-way street.
I can get with the list except for #5. It will surely backfire on you. “Playing me to the left” will get you played to the left and without communication we’ll never get anywhere.
Being a gentleman is definately high on the list…
Showing that you have some class about you is important too. A woman would like to know she can take you somewhere other than around the way (to be more specific…she wants to make sure you can be taken somewhere other than the bedroom).
You know, #5 is the only one on her that requires any real gaming on the part of the man…but i’ve found that many women are charmed by men who keep their attention in a work the room kind of way. somebody that truly just stands out. not sure why that works, but it’s worked for me before.
then again, i’m sexxy.
“then again, i’m sexxy.”
Go on with your bad self.
If you can make #5 work, you definately have some skills.
Great post!! All is very true and work like a charm…lol.
I would also include…
-Be informed, know what is going on with the world around you.
-Appear interested in what I do and who I am as a person.
-Try to be honest as possible. When a man is just honest it can be almost a turn on.
-Of course be a gentleman that should be a no-brainier
-Smile, women love men with a nice smile. It appears that you are a warm and friendly person.
“-Try to be honest as possible. When a man is just honest it can be almost a turn on.”
this is good, in theory…
It seems the only way being honest can be a turn on is if you assume every man lies to you. In which case, ouch.
Sounds to me more like getting credit for some shit you’re just supposed to do.
For the record, I know a lot of men lie (and i’m with the champ, always being honest is only good in theory), but wow, that bar must be REAL low.
“and i’m with the champ, always being honest is only good in theory”
in the words of omar, do tell…seriously explain.
people want to feel good about themselves and about their choices. if you tell folks the truth all the times, a lot of ungood will come into the picture. people often say they want the truth, but in actuality, they’re only glad they heard it in retrospect.
so cautiously honest is usually the best form of action.
I don’t assume every man lies. However, I do get your point and would agree with ‘cautiously honest in usually the best form of action.’ (in some cases) People lie a lot for no reason, so for I do better with honesty matters if it hurts my feelings or not. Everyone who knows me understands that is how I operate. When dating I am as honest as possible and yes there are times when men don’t like it. Now I don’t always chose to answer everything either.
Yes it may only be good in theory, but it depends on who you are dealing with.
Simple: Smile at me without saying a word and then wink.
Thats all it takes for me..lol The best things that are said that are left unsaid but shown with gestures..( i.e. a wink, a raised eyebrow, etc.)
If a man is a flirt, but only with ME..he can have the world..lol
“Simple: Smile at me without saying a word and then wink.”
damn. this really is simple. “aja” must be swahili for “easy”
Champ, I’m mad at that!! LOL
champ..take notes..maybe you’ll learn a lil somethin from Khan..;) lol
aja i feel ya. a wink and smile speakes in volumes. less can be more. some people claim to find it hard to experss to someone (they are attracted to) their interest.
key: there are many forms of verbal and nonverbal communication but most people usually look to the verbal. communication goes two ways. input output. call and response. cause and effect. …and too many people have chained themselves to the results instead of seeking to fully express themselves and being totally self accepting.
As many have stated, being gentleman-ly is one way of charming a female. My father raised me to be very chivalrous and treat all women like queens or princesses. I do this…Until, a chick shows me that she’s not worthy of such treatment.
I pay close attention to body language and certain patterns when courting someone and I tend to make a mental note of certain things. For example, when I open the passenger side door for you and walk around to get in the driver’s seat, you better be reaching across to pull the latch on my door. Even when entering into places, when I hold the door open for you, I don’t expect you to breeze right by without saying ‘thank you’ or anything. That’s rude and it shows me that you’re not willing to reciprocate with the simplest of tasks. Basically, you want royal treatment, but aren’t willing to give it. GTFOH!!
I’m not really with the pay her no attention notion just for the simple fact that if I’m interested, I’m trying to feel her out (not neccessarily physically – but maybe). I’m paying attention because if my interest in her grows, I’ll know how to carry things and I can use what I’ve learned to my advantage. Of course one shouldn’t be ‘all-in’ and trying to remember her life story, but knowing she likes cheese on that Whopper w/ no onions, cut in half, with a Hi-C fruit punch without having to ask gets brownie points.
I feel you on the artsy aspect and I believe that women like men who are just passionate about something other than work, sports, or family. Those things are great but if a man is passionate about some form of art, it shows more complexity and adds to the intrigue. Not to mention it makes great conversation if she shares the same passion.
Another thing, if you’ve really hit it off with a lady and you’re both feeling each other and have probably shared a make-out session or two, PLAY IN HER HAIR!! Now this doesn’t neccessarily apply if the chick is unbeweavable, but if you get the chance to really massage her head, play in her hair, or even wash her hair, she’ll love you for life.
Just think, she has all that booty, breast-asis, legs, etc. – but you choose to massage her mind. Not only does it relaxes her and open her up, it gives you the opportunity to work your way gradually down. I guess this is moreso seduction instead of charm, huh?
Sincere compliments out the blue that aren’t typical, being aggressive and taking the lead, and stimulating her psyche are also sure fire ways of charming a chick.
“PLAY IN HER HAIR!! ”
shhhhhh….!!! don’t be telling folks that. damn you!
I love a man who will wash my hair. I am the most relaxed and unsuspecting right after my hair is washed. My high school boyfriend used to do it everytime I would get stressed out. I loved it!
For example, when I open the passenger side door for you and walk around to get in the driver’s seat, you better be reaching across to pull the latch on my door
She’s gotta pass the test huh?
(Quote jacked from A Bronx Tale)
::snicker::
Damn skippy!
“Another thing, if you’ve really hit it off with a lady and you’re both feeling each other and have probably shared a make-out session or two, PLAY IN HER HAIR!! ”
dammit monk. you weren’t supposed to reveal this. you can’t give away EVERYTHING!!!
Apparently the hair thing is big with some people…
myself, not so much. Back of the neck yes…hair, no.
Oops, my bad Champ.
Yeah, I can’t lie. I love for a man to play in my hair. This only works though if I’m already into him anyway.
You’re absolutely right Queen. Once a female is into a guy though, initiating subtle (even playful) touching breaks down barriers and make her feel even MORE comfortable, but she has to have some type of attraction to him before hand.
Another thing, if you’ve really hit it off with a lady and you’re both feeling each other and have probably shared a make-out session or two, PLAY IN HER HAIR!! Now this doesn’t neccessarily apply if the chick is unbeweavable, but if you get the chance to really massage her head, play in her hair, or even wash her hair, she’ll love you for life.
MONK – I love you for life for just typing that….you trying to get these men straight LAID up in here! I love to feel a man’s hands in my natural…it is sensual and relaxing…and yousay WASH it! lord!! don’t let him know how to greas a scalp….have a sister proposing up in here!!! LOL
GOODENess, I loves ya back. The washing and massaging usually leads to lots of hair pulling later on but I digress…lol.
“I feel you on the artsy aspect and I believe that women like men who are just passionate about something other than work, sports, or family. Those things are great but if a man is passionate about some form of art, it shows more complexity and adds to the intrigue. Not to mention it makes great conversation if she shares the same passion.”
Yes, passion is good. I’ll take passion about sports, cause um, I’m a sports chick myself. But as long as you have SOMETHING meaningful (and legal) that interests you, to the point where you’d engage in it for free cause you love it that much, it gets my attention (can apply to any number of things).
Playing in the hair…classic…thanks for throwing that tip out there, playa! Lot of mofos don’t know nothin’ bout that right there…
“I’ll take passion about sports, cause um, I’m a sports chick myself. ”
Me too! I grew up playing all types of sports so I love guys who are really into sports, especially basketball. I don’t care too much if you’re passionate about the arts. But, i do want a guy to have a passion about something. I like to see that spark and excitement.
“Another thing, if you’ve really hit it off with a lady and you’re both feeling each other and have probably shared a make-out session or two, PLAY IN HER HAIR!! Now this doesn’t neccessarily apply if the chick is unbeweavable, but if you get the chance to really massage her head, play in her hair, or even wash her hair, she’ll love you for life.”
Here you go with specific “game” tips. I was being vague and here you go sharing the game with the opponent. LOL.
i wonder if bald chicks like head massages as much as…men like them. heh heh heh
“i know you’re lying, i can see it in your weave.”
Panama says: “unbeweaveable!”
LMBAO!
bravo!
Sincere compliments out the blue that aren’t typical, being aggressive and taking the lead, and stimulating her psyche are also sure fire ways of charming a chick.
yes! especially the aggresive taking the lead part. i am that woman who loves for her man to lead. charm me man
You know what, it’s far too many guys who tend to be intimidated by a woman they are interested in and they’re scared to just take charge. Some of it may has to do with being raised solely around women or lack of confidence or maybe both.
The thing fellas have to realize also is you can only play in the hair but for oh so long cause if you keep going, it’ll be too relaxing and you’ll put her to sleep.
Now if you’re tired yourself, this could be a good thing and she’ll probably have erotic dreams about you.
If you’re not so tired, you have to know when to pump the brakes she’ll be able to do erotic things with you.
Before you know it, you’ll be pulling her hair in no time.
Sorry for the details, but I just had a flashback.
if you get the chance to really massage her head, play in her hair, or even wash her hair, she’ll love you for life.
I’m so glad that you shared this @ Monk. No questions asked you got whatever you want and there will be steak and eggs in the morning. This will relax a me everytime and it never gets old. Throw in some whispered sweetness and it’s over.
Welch’s grape juice on the side please.
Indeed. It’s so crazy when asked how a women would charm a man I was so surprised that not one persons said offer to cook for him. I guess that’s my southern desperation (read: charm). I knew I had my hubbie in the pocket the first time I made him a steak. I’m a damn good cook. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach that is no lie.
Nut, it’s not the only thing that us men consider but it’s definitely up there. It speaks to trait that’s disappearing in some circles of women.
I like I guy who is a bit of mystery: this is very charming because as he does open up I feel like its a personal invite inside him.
Play against my expectations. I don’t know why this works but I get so charmed by someone who flips script on me in a GOOD way. For example, I met one of my best guy friend’s friend and when he met he started asking me a buncha questions: what do you do? Me: I’m a college student. Him: You’re in college, really? Where (enter low-level shit school here)? Me: Umm no…(enter uber-prestigious institution of higher learning here) . Him: That don’t make you better than me! I’m playing I knew you went there, I heard you’re cold girl…go head with ya smart self! I love how he made me think he was just a jackass but was really creating interesting dialogue. I dunno it worked for me. Maybe this should be called “make her thing you’re an ass, but just play it off and show her you’re just a semi-ass.” LOL.
Show your male leadership skills EARLY in the game. This gets me everytime, when a man just steps up and does something super ALPHA male not in a way that he’s trying to impress me but just cause it’s natural to him to do so. Example, I think the reason I got so stuck on my superthug was because when we were on our first date, I saw my professor walk into the door. I was gonna just blow her off but dude INSTRUCTED me to go say hi to her. Just him telling me to go do something was mad sexy. But this is the kicker and show’s he true leadership ability. As I’m getting up to walk to her table, he gets up to and follows me…as I say hi to her my date is saying hello to my professor’s companion. Take charge and be the man from the jump!
Alpha men will do that for u. AMEN amen and AMEN!!!!
But taking charge is a good one. Give me instructions
people just don’t understand how swaggerlicious leadership is…
***Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah***
“don’t understand how swaggerlicious leadership is”
***calling all to the first ever world convention where we will now seek the common truths of hindu, buddah, christianity, islam, and tao.***
truest truth i’ve heard today…
TREEZY… that sounds like EXACTLY what a man should do…not thug-ly at all…but I guess he showed his inner doo-rag in other ways…the stroy made me smile though…
Love ALPHA men…love men who take charge in a “this is how I roll” way rather than a “i’m a bitchazz so i’m overcompensating” way
Treezy, Good Good, utc115, shay, t-lee, j boogz you all are good team members from good teams thats why you respect and crave good leadership.
you gotta good team girls you just needed a new coach.
supervise and delegate. good men give good instruction. good leaders have confidence and are not afraid to take risks. sometimes good leaders come off like assholes and they say and do as they feel regardless of who disapproves but itcomes with the territory.
usually people love them or hate them no in betweens, feast or famine. love to hate him or hate that you love him. passion, they lubbbs it. no apathy.
usually people love them or hate them no in betweens, feast or famine. love to hate him or hate that you love him. passion, they lubbbs it. no apathy.
I agree completely.
mystery is good girl
say that and say that
Example, I think the reason I got so stuck on my superthug was because when we were on our first date, I saw my professor walk into the door. I was gonna just blow her off but dude INSTRUCTED me to go say hi to her.
(church moan)hmmmm…yes sir
if ever i need to define what an e-love/hate truly entails, i will direct folks to this post, but i digress…
1. making a woman laugh is a definite charmer
2. the aloof man may get an eyebrow raise, but never the panties.. . if you’re serious about the woman you’re pursuing i wouldn’t try this one, you’ll lose her quick. it only works on women who still haven’t figured out that their dead-beat dad isn’t the one to model their male suitors after.
3. artsy, not so much. i hate “poet voice” and men that use words & phrases like queen, soul, and building a nation make me dry heave. oh yeah, and if you’re not Yuroban don’t pretend you are.
4. Quirky works, but not fake quirky. I invented quirky, and I can smell a b*llshitter a mile away.
5. see #2- if this approach does work, the more aloof you are the more she’ll pay attention. and if this is just about the panties you just screwed yourself. you’ll get the clingy, baggage havin’, low self-esteem chick you men love to b*tch about at your doorstep every single night. (booyah! joke’s on you)
I’m with the other ladies, if you can demonstrate that chivalry is not dead and you can make a woman laugh you have a much better chance of gaining her interest. However, I still firmly believe that a woman needs to be attracted to you first. But if this merely about the conquest then i got nothin’ for you…
“2. the aloof man may get an eyebrow raise, but never the panties.. . if you’re serious about the woman you’re pursuing i wouldn’t try this one, you’ll lose her quick. it only works on women who still haven’t figured out that their dead-beat dad isn’t the one to model their male suitors after.”
Word.
“I invented quirky”
first t-shirt quote of the day
“i hate “poet voice” and men that use words & phrases like queen, soul, and building a nation make me dry heave.”
i always wondered why trying to make the next thing you say the smartest i ever heard was so important… be yo’self, fool!
also if we are on the phone and you have to sigh at the beginning of every sentence cause you think its sexy, kill yo’self.
“3. artsy, not so much. i hate “poet voice” and men that use words & phrases like queen, soul, and building a nation make me dry heave. oh yeah, and if you’re not Yuroban don’t pretend you are.”
you’re telling me a man chewing a chew-stick wearing earthtones with a huey newton tshirt on that only refers to you as “sister” or “my earth” or “my black queen” doesn’t make you just want to go erykah badu his ass???? what if he comes with his own line of scented oils he sells on the train?? or what if you replace scented oils with incense?
and what if only wears birkenstocks?
@P Nasty…not a “chew stick”…LMAO…
those chew sticks work…they usually are chewed by men with the preetiest bestest teeth.
I like chew sticks!! What they make your teeth so white and they make your breath so fresh.
you’re telling me a man chewing a chew-stick wearing earthtones with a huey newton tshirt on that only refers to you as “sister” or “my earth” or “my black queen” doesn’t make you just want to go erykah badu his ass???? what if he comes with his own line of scented oils he sells on the train?? or what if you replace scented oils with incense?
FAIL
“…on that only refers to you as “sister” or “my earth” or “my black queen” doesn’t make you just want to go erykah badu his ass????”
you know what killed this sh*t real quick for me the entire city of Atlanta and the tree people at Clark (ndugu & nzinga ring a bell???) What makes you think that just bcuz I have a natural that I want to make out-of-wedlock babies with you, carry them around in bjorn and wear matching head wraps? not to mention these dudes tended to be the biggest players in the game…and with the exception of their memorized queen/earth/sista monologue they typically don’t have a brain to blow out..too much gonga.
LMYAO!! Miss P, you won’t believe I had a tree hugger as one of my roommates my sophomore year at CAU…LOL!! That was an experience for dat ass. You got me over here dying laughing just thinking about them and I kinda feel bad like I’m wrong for laughing.
You took me back with that one.
3. artsy, not so much. i hate “poet voice” and men that use words & phrases like queen, soul, and building a nation make me dry heave.
PatteeCakes…girl you hitting on some stuff for me this morning! Brothers see the afro, the tribal tats, and my “unique” sense of style and immediately make assumptions about who/what I am…in TX, when you have natural hair and afro-centric style people seem to automatically give you credit for a sensibility and depth of character that you may not actually have! Just because you think I LOOK like I want to have a casual conversation about the diluted focus of the post-colonial Negro and how it’s tainting future generations, doesn’t mean I do! I’m just trying to get off this train and go get some Smirnoff tea and some chicken wings!
IMO, “artsy” has a negative connotation of pretense and snobbery that makes the word so much less than a positive attribute…
LOL…i wrote a WHOLE post about chicks with the “hair” which i used to allude to “deep” chicks stereotypical existence.
somehow, it started a shitstorm of controversy…and i still think i’m right.
http://jacksongtickle.com/2006/05/19/shut-your-sh-and-clap-your-hands/
i don’t see this as controversial…perhaps for the tree people but i actually agree with your hair post (what is the world coming to?). i kid, i kid. i’m a walking contradiction. in spite of my ‘fro you can’t label me, i invented quirky remember? back to today’s post…carry on.
thank you kindly.
PANAMA…you rock…”When was the last time you met a woman with the “hair” that had the best of Ying Yang Twins bumping in their ride?”
ummmmm…yesterday..lol… I love me some Whisper Song (remix)…I agree with er’thang you just typed!!! I am my hair…very much so…and I wear it this way so you will have an idea of what you are geting yourself into BEFORE you even speak to me…now that being said, my is an extension of me…my thought processes…my preferences…and lifestyle…but there is more to me than that…I don’t mind being stereotyped for the most part…my issue comes in when you approach me based on what you think I want to hear because of how I look and it’s not really who YOU are…just be YOU…I am just a Southern soul sister with alot of love to give…yeah I got a fro…rock earth tones and tribal tattoos…I don’t wear makeup…I read…I spit…I got God but no religion…and prefer Little Brother to Young ANYBODY…but I still (occasionally) do dumb shit…I eat fried chicken…I know how to “Superman that ho”…drive a big ole gas guzzling truck…I curse in 5 languages…and I dance like a stripper…and WHAT???
lol…cursing in 5 languages is tight.
“and prefer Little Brother to Young ANYBODY”
FYI Goodie, they’ll be in MIC City on August 2nd…still wainting on them to get back to ATL.
The lord didn’t bring you this far so you could fumble on the one, n*gga – Phonte
AkShone…you know I knew that right?? it’s a benefit concert for the homeless…featuring Big Daddy Kane, LB, adn Strange Fruit Project…and guess who already has her VIP ticket?? (happy dance) oh yeah! that’s right… I’m gonna put on my “good clothes”!!!
Big Daddy Kane
I am so upset!!!!
Aw hayo naw, d@mn BDK too?!?! I’m green…that’s gonna be THE show to see. I need to check and see if the Rock the Bells tour will be coming this year to ATL, they’re supposed to be on that…I missed it last year.
Goody, you my girl. that’s exactly the artsy i’m talkin’ about. makes you wanna press your hair real good sometimes…
Girl, I’mma go ahead and co-sign on this…cause I do rock the natural and I live in hot azz TX. The “hair” makes folk think I’m making a statement…which I am, just not the one they’re thinking. I am deep…but I wear the “hair” because I have a science degree, spent hours in chem lab in college, and realized that it couldn’t be good to put that stuff in my hair if I had to wear a heavy rubber apron, googles, and use a chemical vent to work with them in experiments.
I, personally, don’t spend most of my time debating “deep” sh*t…I’d really rather talk about something less draining.
“I wear the “hair” because I have a science degree, spent hours in chem lab in college, and realized that it couldn’t be good to put that stuff in my hair if I had to wear a heavy rubber apron, googles, and use a chemical vent to work with them in experiments.”
LOL!
True! I’m a physician. Dermatologists are doing a brisk business treating Black women in their 40s for baldness. Unintentional baldness is not a good look.
I read the article. I suggest that Panama check out nappturality.com. There’s a ridiculous amount of natural women of all types on that site. From the Granola Girls who worship at the shrine of Erykah Badu and pre-crazy Lauren Hill to the Glam Squad who are wild about about things pretty, all models are represented. There’s even a strong ghetto constituency too.
“2. the aloof man … it only works on women who still haven’t figured out that their dead-beat dad isn’t the one to model their male suitors after.
3. artsy, not so much. i hate “poet voice” and men that use words & phrases like queen, soul, and building a nation make me dry heave. ”
I’m co-signing so hard i’m having an out of body experience and thinking i’m you.
“I’m co-signing so hard i’m having an out of body experience and thinking i’m you.”
you’re funny!
I’m mad u think us chicks are that easy.
smh
well…
“Make her laugh”
This is so important. A guy who can make me laugh is a keeper! If you look at the comedians, most are with really beautiful women who would normally be out of their league. Women love a guy who can laugh.
I also get charmed by guys who really listen to me. I met one guy last summer who remember the smallest details from our conversations and that really impressed me because it showed that he had an interest in me.
I also get charmed by guys who are really intelligent, not in a snobby way but just a guy who can carry a great conversation.
the only real rule that works on this list is #1.
for the rest, its effectiveness is proportional to your level of fine and/or total package-ness. boris kodjoe’s doppleganger could get away with #5 a lot easier than some regular lookin cat.
but then if you look like boris, the panties are pretty much a go. it’s just up to you not to eff up during that “i don’t want him to think i’m a slut” waiting period.
artsy is good if by “artsy” you mean “knows who chris ofili is and why one of his paintings caused a hubbub” or “likes to go to the theater sometimes.” but that bad poetry b.s.? not so much.
what’s sexy to me? a sense of adventure. be open to something other than quarter wings and pitchers of beer… LOL.
“a sense of adventure. be open to something other than quarter wings and pitchers of beer”
never underestimate the power of wings and beer…can i get a high five for hot wings cafe in l.a.?
i hate bad poetry too, but i’m so good at spitting it.
peep game:
my sister
you are the earth upon which i rest my head
the clouds upon which i wish to rest
and the ass upon which i wish to bounce
you are…my love
thank you thank you. i’m here every tuesday.
@ Panama
(laughing and holding up my cell phone with the light on in approval)
thing is…alot of folks don’t know bad poetry when they hear it…(clearview) but if you spit that to the hoodus rattus she would take off her panties and put them in your pocket…THIS is why I try not to date other poets (I hate that word) because if I don’t like what they do…or vice versa…there’s gonna be trouble!
my sister
you are the earth upon which i rest my head
the clouds upon which i wish to rest
and the ass upon which i wish to bounce
you are…my love
This right here is why I stopped going to Spoken Word events.
Thank you…this falls under the “make her laugh” category boo…which might then get you one step closer to your goal…
P-Jack: “…you are…my love
thank you thank you. i’m here every tuesday.”
funny shit boi. LOL!
let’s take turns opening for one another Jack.
the name of this spit is “fuc*outofmylife.com”
some lips were made for kissing
you just gotta a hole in your head
and some lips were made for sticking
you just gotta a hole between your legs
get thee away from me succubus
fuc*outta my life
(fingersnaps and foottaps)
don’t forget to tip your waiter…
“succubus”
I’m through!!!!!
some lips were made for kissing
you just gotta a hole in your head
and some lips were made for sticking
you just gotta a hole between your legs
damn Khan…you typing kind of apicy over there..succubus?? WTF did she do to you baby? you want me to roll on her??
I am MAD AS HELL that this is all true. Artsy with an edge is the reason why women LOVE LOVE LOVE Common, Mos Def, Talib Kweli….and in the 80s (when I was just a knee high Comeback kid) Basquiat’s crazy lookin butt (rip).
And women are psycho freaks for men who are mysterious (read…don’t want us LOL)
I’m also getting hip to the new cyber azz game men are playing…with starting blogs. I have recommended for this rather lame guy somewhere else in the blogesphere to start a blog to get some azz. It seems to work like a charm. (Im sorry did I say that?)
sidenote: Champ and P I know azz is not yall’s motivation though right??? Your blog is rather professional. It seems like yall running thangs over here like a business.
but I would like some azz confessionals. LOL
I’m also getting hip to the new cyber azz game men are playing…with starting blogs. I have recommended for this rather lame guy somewhere else in the blogesphere to start a blog to get some azz. It seems to work like a charm. (Im sorry did I say that?)
CTFU
You gotta use what ya have to get what ya want.
“CTFU”
I just put myself in the corner. Its just this new kamono dragon starbucks got with my steamed breve 110 degrees ..is like a truth serum.
I’m sorry everybody as they were…I’m sending my ass to the corner.
“Champ and P I know azz is not yall’s motivation though right??? Your blog is rather professional. It seems like yall running thangs over here like a business.”
**pleading the fif**
lol, seriously though…we’ve both been around for a while, back before blogging became a “fad”, so no, it isn’t
P seems to be more revealing. i’ll wait for him***folds arms***
“sidenote: Champ and P I know azz is not yall’s motivation though right??? Your blog is rather professional. It seems like yall running thangs over here like a business.”
“P seems to be more revealing. i’ll wait for him***folds arms***”
Look, it’s not in my nature to be mysterious. But I can’t talk about it and I can’t talk about why.
Look, it’s not in my nature to be mysterious. But I can’t talk about it and I can’t talk about why.
^^^^that shit is funny as hell…good one P
As much as I’d love to take full credit for it, it’s a line that comes from Ocean’s 12 when Rusty and Linus were talking about the fact that Tess looked like Julia Roberts.
‘Look, it’s not in my nature to be mysterious. But I can’t talk about it and I can’t talk about why.
^^^^that shit is funny as hell…good one P’
the “ocean’s” movies have provided more good non-comedic quotes than any other non tarantino movie i can think of
Artsy with an edge…yes. He might be all sensitive and sh*t with you, but will beat a ninja down for disrespecting you…
Champ, this post is hit and miss.
1. Make me laugh. Hit! We’ve established this is almost always a surefire way to get your foot in the door. As women we tend to get so caught up in our own thoughts sometimes that a man who can make you laugh and bring you out of your own head is always refreshing.
2. Be vague & mysterious but open & inviting. HIT! But you have to be careful about this one cause it can backfire on your ass. We like to feel that you intrested in us enough to share, but we dont need to know everything about your momma & them early on either. And if you are too mysterious we may start to wonder what the hell you are hiding and get on the defensive. (please note: for some women ‘the defensive’ can manifest itself by snooping through your shit)
3. Be Artsy. MISS! Not everyone is into this. This is where it is important to be genuine and as Monk pointed out, passionate about something. Besides these artsy types seem to be kinda of pretentious. Big turn off
4. Basically stand out by being a little quirky. Not sure about this one. I guess it will work on some women but for me it will just make me think you are an overcompensating. There is a big difference in naturally not giving a shit what people think and being the dude who plays the look at me game just so people will have an opinion on you.
5. Don’t pay her any real attention but keep her attention. MISS! I can sometimes be an attention whore, ignoring me is a surefire way to get removed from the potential list. This shit only works for woman with self esteem issues. In other words the chicks with the baggage that most men claim they dont want any damn way.
“Champ… ”
check the by-line again, please.
sorry if that came off as asshole-ish.
Ahhh hell. Sorry guys. You know I love you both individual. Lets blame it on lack of sleep. *mawh*
@Suga&Spice: My name is NY and im an attention whore too…
I am with you. I dont really care for Art and 9 times out of 10 he doesnt like it either so we are just walking around acting involved and blah blah blah….
find a jacob lawrence, norman lewis, or romare bearden exhibit…they might change your mind about art.
@ D*stroy- “artsy” and an appreciation for the arts are two separate things. the former is pretentious, and the latter is typically genuine.
i think really depends on how you define artsy…to me artsy is an obvious appreciation for literature, film, music (THATS NOT RANDOM r&b and hip hop) and the visual arts.
To me pretension is embracing the genre in which you have no obvious knowledge or understanding…just to get dat azz. if it moves you you’d go without a woman or a man.
Excellent suggestion.
At one time I wasn’t into Art or Poetry until I learned about Art and Poetry that I could relate to.
I remember in college hitting up just about every museum in NYC for an art class and my professor was always “write about what you feel”. I didn’t “feel” anything.
Then I discovered Black Art.
Def Poetry Jam got me into Poetry.
D my boy got that jacob lawrence url. can’t wait to lease or sell it maybe to the whitney museum.
norman and romare fly too.
hey but ima artist what can i say. loves many expressions in art.
jacob lawrence is that dude…
“4. Basically stand out by being a little quirky. Not sure about this one. I guess it will work on some women but for me it will just make me think you are an overcompensating. There is a big difference in naturally not giving a shit what people think and being the dude who plays the look at me game just so people will have an opinion on you.
5. Don’t pay her any real attention but keep her attention. MISS! I can sometimes be an attention whore, ignoring me is a surefire way to get removed from the potential list. This shit only works for woman with self esteem issues. In other words the chicks with the baggage that most men claim they dont want any damn way.”
word. i have seen too many dudes paint themselves into a box only to break out of it and think they have accomplished something.
and who then hell wants someone who acts like they dont want them? those are exactly the ones who dont believe it when you finally wanna walk away. thats problematic.
I see you worked the part about 5’4 guy into today’s post…lol
Humor–yes!!! Huge! If you get are funny and you understand my psychotic sense of humor, you’re in.
Vague and Mysterious—Jury is still out. Sometimes this works, sometimes, I don’t feel like solving the mystery. It’s a gamble.
Yeah…I’m not into the quirky.I’ll start thinking you’re downright weird and then it’s definitely a no go.
Artsy? Yeah…just not too artsy.
Attention…you better pay me some, but don’t be clingy, again, it’s a fine line.
Feed me, and I’m all yours
…and by feed me, I mean cook for me…not take me out to eat.
“Feed me, and I’m all yours
…and by feed me, I mean cook for me…not take me out to eat.”
do ramen noodles count?
LOL, heck no!…. I may be small, but I loves to eat.
“LOL, heck no!…. I may be small, but I loves to eat.”
so ramen noodles and chicken nuggets should do the trick then
so ramen noodles and chicken nuggets should do the trick then
LOL….throw in a double cheeseburger and I’ll call it even
lol…ok. i think i’d bring a milkshake in the mix too.
Good man
…
Actually they do count.
It’s not always about take me out and spend money or cook elaborate meals at home.
Sometimes I just want to watch TV and chill. When the hunger pangs hit, give me something to eat and I’m good.
However, it would be nice if you hooked them up a little and didn’t just boil them with the little packet.
Get creative.
[I'm a great cook and I've made delicious meals with ramen noodles as the main dish.]
” mean cook for me…not take me out to eat.”
This sounds like a “movie purse”…I’ve never really found a man that could really burn. Most men are scratchers. and I’m ok with this…but I want to be wined and dined FIRST…and then well see what kinds of pots and pans brotha man got.
LOL @ men being scratchers! Wine and dine is good, but if you can also throw down in the kitchen I might have to get down on one knee and ask that A** to marry me! lol
What about the suggestion of cooking together for a date?
Strolling through the aisles looking for ingredients, mixing things up and prepping the food, making a wine selection, etc. can be a very romantic/charming process.
This a great post PJ!
Romance is also a key factor when it comes to charming a woman. And not the all out horse and carriage ride, expensive dinners, engagement ring, but simple romance. Cook me dinner, send a text in the middle of the work day to say your thinking about me or watch the stars on the roof top together while having lite conversation sipping on wine. Its the simple things that make me say “this ones a keeper”.
thanks…
i suppose there are reasons why so many men and women write songs about the simple things in life. who knew it was true?
i think our favorite blog artist topic India Arie wrote a song about that very thing…if i recall correctly someone called it pretentious and insincere…but i digress.
lol…yeah in her case it was pretentious and insincere. but most b/c of the visual she added to it when she shot the video. it made her seem trite and elitist. and i’m okay with it.
now when somebody like Plies does a song about the simple things, i know it’s sincere. cuz that ninja’s simple.
NY…
I wish more people (men & women) understood that…maybe if we type it enough times, they will get the point…
“the smallest act of love and kindness, make strong appeal when bound together…”
Goodness…
yeah, some people think that you have to go all out to impress the other person when its the little things that matter. Maybe we should dedicated a whole blog page to Charming us women;) …cause some men think they’ve got it and they have no clue even when your screaming it at them..ahhh
Action P. Jackson,
This post was damn good! Fellas would do well to add these staples to their repetoires.
Here are few others:
1. Foot & Back massages (Warning: Know what you are doing)…just shows you are attentive and know how to be in tune with her body.
2. Send flowers (and a clever note) to her job (assuming she’s worth it)…in the first convo you should at least (casually) find out where she works. You don’t need details just general info…the internet should have the rest. This makes the co-workers jealous and women love that.
3. 1st date…take her to breakfast. Order mimosas.
4. Tell her to get dressed up and take her to a play and dinner. It shows you are cultured and have the capacity to be different than other n*ggas! It also seems extravagant but this can be done on the cheap…just keep your eyes open for discount tickets.
FYI–my wife still loves these tricks.
FELLAS, on another note..yesterday I went to this store called SYMS and they are having a sale that is insane. I bought three HUGO BOSS suits valued at $650 for $275 a pice. They were originally discounted at $400 but with the sale it is another $125 off. If you are looking to get fresh for cheap…this is the place and now’s the time. The sale ends on the 20th.
Syms is the spot.
And thanks for the compliment on the post.
Do they have SYMS in the ‘A’?
yup….
http://www.syms.com/location_result.asp?state=ga
2. Send flowers (and a clever note) to her job… This makes the co-workers jealous and women love that.
we have a winner!!! I love that…the best flower/note I got was a vase full of white tulips (cuz I think roses are overdone) and the note said…”because it’s Tuesday!”
(swwwwooooooooon)
D*stroy…nice commercial, do you get a commision from Syms or sumn? lol…
“do you get a commision from Syms or sumn”
Ha ha. very funny. See… that’s why you can’t help black folks.
Ok…if I was in the area I would definitely stop by for my beau…thanks for the info. He loves designer suits, can I purchase them at the website..is there a website…this is when it sucks to live in Florida..lol.
Teacia,
Damn you’s a good woman! It appears there are a bunch of locations in Florida. Check out this link…it gives all of the Fla locations. The sale is called a BASH sale (sounds dumb but the sh*t is not a game lol):
http://www.syms.com/location_result.asp?state=fl
@GOODENess…I do sound like I’m on the payroll. kinda sad really.
Thanks D*…he means a lot to me…so what’s a few hundred dollars to show I care.
SHEEEITTT! You and I have been cool for a minute now. That should be at least worth fifty bucks…or some skittles… or something.
Lol, I got you…you’re cookie cake is in the mail.
…express delivery at that!
Ladies, take notes.
no need to take notes over here, luv…just ain’t got nobody to go to Sym’s for…
I think that was just my inner salty-ness cuz I ain’t got no male to buy ish like that for…lol…although…I can go get myself a mean ass hat or two…
and the note said…”because it’s Tuesday!”
Major points for that guy!
yeh…he got MAJOR points for that ish…but umm…then he eff’d it up…so, it was great while it lasted…for real!
“2. Send flowers (and a clever note) to her job (assuming she’s worth it)”
wait a cotton pickin’ second…you mean guys still do this???
1. Comedy central makes me laugh. I don’t wanna have chex with anyone on there. But I think it’s not the laughte r that gets women. It’s the relaxing. You relax when you laugh. The more you laugh, the more you relax and next thing you know you’re ALWAYS relaxed even when nothing is funny. BUT, getting a woman to relax can be done without making her laugh.
2. This one, man if someone did that, I’d think he’ s married or has a prison record. Either way he wouldn’t be a serious contender.
3. Be artsy?? I think passion about anything is good. I was just talking to a dude who was passionate about something. It was cool. That’s what I’ll remember about him but that doesn’t mean I’m putting out.
4. Quirky, but not weird.
5. This one will only make a man not a contender, in my world. It makes him seem like he’ll be unavailable and unsupportive in a relationship. Next thing I know we have to have the conversation about why he’s cool to date but I don’t want to be in a relationship WITH him. I think this works more on men. Especially if they are hot. Woman logic says you should be super perfect to him so you stand out. But really, you should act like his shyt does stink. He will wonder why YOU aren’t behaving like the others.
Let’s see, the post was hilarious…but the only ones that could work with me would be #1-make me laugh-and #4-be quirky.
#1 is surefire cause I like to laugh. I’m the chick that has comedy central on her favorite channel list, who knew who Drew Carey and Ellen DeGeneres were before they got shows and sh*t, so yeah, um, laughter is a must.
#4-works because i’m quirky. i know this, i accept this, and i embrace this. therefore, a dude with some quirks himself is good…quirky, for example, in the sense that he isn’t afraid to be that corporate dude who likes playing D&D in his spare time, and knows he might not be the suavest cat out there…so he doesn’t even bother. quirky in the sense, for example, in that he prefers his ramen noodles with sugar or ketchup rather than the seasoning that comes with it.
Other things sure to charm me-REALLY like music. Like it enough that you have a diverse collection of it, and can discuss the new Dave Matthews Band CD with me…not just the newest Yung Berg, Joc, or whatever other yung’in just came out with
a(nother) wack CD.
Be able to carry on a convo…and participate (also goes hand in hand with intelligence). There have been several guys I’ve dated that weren’t the greatest looking, but their convo game was bangin’…so they got the “goodies”. The strong silent mysterious type…strong yes, silent/mysterious, not so much.
Lastly-suggest some interesting things to do early on (goes back to another post from last week)…cause I get bored quickly and easily. Dinner and movie…nice, but i’m probably not going to be raring to go out with you again (unless you score really well in any of the aforementioned qualities). Going to the beach and playing in the waves at night…piques my interest level. Going to the beach, having dinner at a seaside restaurant, and THEN playing in the waves after we’re done…I probably wanna see you again and will think about bestowing the “goodies” after I see that you can hold my interest.
great post!! looks like you all have said it all!! i’ll sit this one out!!
I didn’t get “Cotton Removal” for a few minutes. I don’t wear conton panties, they dont feel good. Much like jeans and pants to me. Maybe I am single because I am weird.
I agree with all except the second sentence in paragraph one…that man couldn’t charm me under any circumstanes. And also, when it comes to artsy stuff, if you are are talking to an artsy chick…please know what the hell you are talking about. I hate when a dude tries to act like he’s up on something and is clearly BSin.
ummm…my bad but I thought all draws were cotton. What are the other options…other than commando?
I guess we kinda touched on this yesterday… but what do women do to charm a brotha out his drawz? I’m interested in knowing if I’ve ever been gamed before.
rolls out my game book…
it really depends on the guy. You can’t charm an artsy fartsy guy the way you would say an alpha intellectual..different chapter different verse.
“what do women do to charm a brotha out his drawz?”
umm…show up? I kid…mostly
I don’t think it takes any charm to get the draws from a man. but to build something deeper than that, it really works the same as it does for men- make him feel special.
My vote is for show up as well…lol.
lol…you know what’s funny about this is that i’ve made women work to get the drawz before. like no bullshit. i got one chick who’s probably STILL mad at me to this day b/c i told her she didn’t work hard enough to hit.
lol. and she ain’t the only one who’s gone hitless at the plate messin’ around with the kid. y’all gotta earn it.
BOOOO!!! Down with PannyDrawls Jackson!!
“umm…show up? I kid…mostly”
this is true I KNOW for random men…. But I didn’t really think D was talking about random.
I think it’s even more true for men who are feeling you…they’re already intrigued with ur mind and personality…showing up is all that’s need to get in the boxer briefs.
“showing up is all that’s need to get in the boxer briefs”
interesting
Yeah actually I was thinking about how do you guys lay your game down on a guy who doesn’t seem particularly interested. This is pretty much the scenario most men have to contend with when approaching a woman.
oh well shit that’s a no go…what women wants a man who isn’t interested…what a colossal waste of time. real talk.
“Yeah actually I was thinking about how do you guys lay your game down on a guy who doesn’t seem particularly interested.”
Personal foul ..***blows whistle*** I’m playful so some men misinterpret playfulness with interest. But I don’t think you can convince a man to like you. And why would you really want him…after you tried so damn hard to begin with…
I’m also not a pursuer…so I don’t even engage men who are the slightest bit disineterested…cause I never seen them.
WOW @ Comeback and Teacia! If guys took this route everybody would be single. Women act disinterested all day, e’ryday!
Seriously, though…you guys never had a crush who seemed to be out of reach for some reason or another and so you flirt with him or use some other trickery to catch his eye?
“…back in the day when I was young i’m not a kid anymore but some days i sit and wish i was a kid again.”
those days are long gone mister..we’re grown ass adults and if a man isn’t interested then i’m not going to waste my energy and figure out a “scheme” to make him mine.
“If guys took this route everybody would be single.”
I’m from a different school of thought. But let me be clear. There is a way for a woman to signal interest, but it doesn’t come in the flavor of “hey there..you and me lets go to the movie, here is my number call me tomorrow”.
Subtle eye contact says it all if you are so inclined. You can speak volumes WITHOUT ever opening your mouth. Its NOT THE STARE DOWN. It may be little demure smile. 3 seconds of eye contact. THATS IT.
The rest is up the MAN. Period amen. An ALPHA man who is feeling me…WILL BITE…A gamma boy will fall back and want to be the girl.
No sir..I’m the woman. And I like it like that.
I concur with the statements by the other ladies…I will not CHASE any man. Nor will I try to “charm” him to get him to “drop trou” so to speak. That ain’t the natural order of things, ya heard?
Honestly I have to admit. I have always hated when women come on too strong. It’s almost always a red flag indicating desperation.
“Honestly I have to admit. I have always hated when women come on too strong. It’s almost always a red flag indicating desperation.”
i agree. i always think she’s either trying to kidnap my sperm, or rob me.
i think i’ve watched too many episodes of law & order
ummmm…aren’t u the one whose wife walked casually by and introduced her friends to you as, and i quote, “her future husband”…and this was before having ever met you…lol.
Damn you Teacia! Why do you always have to contradict me in front my friends!?!?!
Awww, D* baby my bad…lol.
Yeah actually I was thinking about how do you guys lay your game down on a guy who doesn’t seem particularly interested.
@D*BOY…WTF?? who does that? flirt with a man that’s not interested? that hurt to type…even those of that are bold enough to initiate a man, won’t make a move unless they have an inkling that the man is interested…I mean I run game…lord knows I do…well…have…I gave up pimping…but it was never on a dude that wasn’t interested…moreso to get what I want from a dude that was already feeling me…lol…
what a colossal waste of time. real talk
::applause::
“how do you guys lay your game down on a guy who doesn’t seem particularly interested”
i usually give up. and then magically morph into play sister/cousin/confidante…which actually sucks by the way. then after that stage i forget you. we “women” aren’t as thick-skinned when it comes to rejection as you brothas are.
“i usually give up. and then magically morph into play sister/cousin/confidante…which actually sucks by the way.”
LOL! Been there before…that’s called the friend zone.
Its sad to say and Ive been trying to break this bad habit for years, but I relate most to #5. I want a guy that likes me, but doesnt like me, like me. I want you to show interest but not too much. Its kind of a cat and mouse kind of thing. If I know I can have you right away I dont want you. Where is the fun in that? Most of the guys I meet dont really know how to balance it. They are either callin me baby after the first night or they dont call me at all. Sad to say but the ones that play a little hard to get are the ones that intrigue me the most. A lot of men that Ive come across have yet to find a good balance. Ugh. So frustrating because a lof of the ones that are enamored by me are probably really nice guys, but the fact that you’re putting it all out there from the start ( read: THIRSTY) freaks me out a little. I guess men think the same way…But Id definitely say that a man that has his own life and is not actin all pressed is what instantly grabs my attention. Have your own life and be sure to still let me know Im included in it.
Another well thought out and inciteful post by the Brothas…however there is one thing:
Seeing as how I’m an attention whore the only thing #5 will get you is on the injured reserve list. A man who pays me little attention will lose out to the ones who make their attention known…and we all know that every man wants to be a starter.
Now this may go hand in hand with the whole chic who has “options” theory, but I will be played to the left by no man and for no reason. If your goal is to “charm” me, then I should be the focus. Sorry but I don’t find it intriguing when I can’t have a man’s full attention. I know some chics love this and will chase after it, but not the kid.
….NEXT PLEASE!!
Bravo Teacia….I second that. who has time to play games. It is what it is
“who has time to play games. It is what it is”
homeless people.
LMAO!!!!
LOL!!
Now this may go hand in hand with the whole chic who has “options” theory, but I will be played to the left by no man and for no reason. If your goal is to “charm” me, then I should be the focus. Sorry but I don’t find it intriguing when I can’t have a man’s full attention. I know some chics love this and will chase after it, but not the kid.
***fishes and loaves***
I could not have typed that shit better myself!!!
“***fishes and loaves***”
lol…to feed the multitudes…lol, fishes and loaves indeed.
Yes, I agree with Teacia. But I want you to give me your full attention AFTER Ive decided whether or not I like. Until then, be easy. It is a bit of a game, yes. However, if a guy is talkin about Baby this, baby that before Ive decided whether or not I even like you it is a complete turn off. You dont know me well enough yet! Chill. I guess with me its either a hit or miss. I either like you from the start or Im very wary. So if Im unsure about you, you’ve gotta keep me wanting more and not give it to me all at once. Maybe its just me…
“But I want you to give me your full attention AFTER Ive decided whether or not I like”
how is the guy supposed to figure this out?
After I have given you the signal.Duh.lol I play it cool in the beginning when Im getting to know the guy (as I should right?) and after Ive decided I like him, a guy will just know…or at least I think that he should. hmmmmm.
This is a great example of chick logic…
but this ‘logic’ isn’t exclusive to women a lot of men use it too and think that it works…case in point Panama’s #2 and #5…no one can read minds ya know.
So this is how you charm a woman and basically block average brothas for a good two months….keep reading:
So my boy from college brought some of his friends up to visit for the 4th of July and we partied pretty hard all weekend. Some I had met before, but most of his boys were brand new. Two in particular were similar to me in personality, outgoing and carismatic…we instantly became the three musketeers of the group, even though we had just met. Now to the good part….it was Sunday afternoon, most of the crew had gone to airport to catch their flights and these two brothas were staying an extra day. To my surprise they call me up and ask if they can come over to my loft and cook dinner…yes you read that right..to cook dinner, not just for me , but me and my friends, whom they had met over the weekend. We met a few blocks away at the grocery store so I could buy groceries, but when we got to the check-out they shooed me away, saying that gentlemen never let a woman pay. Then once we got to the house they prepared and cooked everything, not letting me lift a finger…and after serving my friends and enjoying a great meal, they proceeded to clean the enitre kitchen, not letting me help one bit. Instead they told me to relax, turned the tv to my uber-favorite Sunday night show…SportsCenter and poured me a glass of wine. Now that is how you charm a woman….because you know I’m still smiling about it today.
Insert CNN instead of Sportscenter and even I’m smiling…lol.
Wow!
So two dudes cooked and all that??? They twinz?
Did y’all all run a big ass orgy or something afterwards?
Me thinks there’s something missing from this story. No two cats are gonna do this, in unison, just for the hell of it. Somebody got naked…or there were some socks flying around or something.
So two dudes cooked and all that??? They twinz?
Did y’all all run a big ass orgy or something afterwards?
this is my kwerstchun…WTF???
“So two dudes cooked and all that??? They twinz?
Did y’all all run a big ass orgy or something afterwards?
Me thinks there’s something missing from this story. No two cats are gonna do this, in unison, just for the hell of it. Somebody got naked…or there were some socks flying around or something.”
yeah. this sounds eerily similar to the beginning scene of “bootytalk 79″
LMAO!!!!!
“Me thinks there’s something missing from this story. No two cats are gonna do this, in unison, just for the hell of it. Somebody got naked…or there were some socks flying around or something.”
You’re thinking like I’m thinking…
Disclaimer:
(oh yeah…I’m mad cynical)
Nope Panama…none of that….check out comment 32 if you don’t believe!
The only thing these brothas crushed was the chance of any average dude in Chicago…the game has been changed forever!
(Obama fist-pound and huge smile to “Southern Hospitality”)
Fellas…I guess the lesson that should be taken from this story is…if you are going to spend the last day of your vacation cooking and cleaning (to impress chicks) as a last ditch effort to get at dem drawz…be sure that you are able to close the deal. If we are talking about charm leading to drawz, this charming fiasco was a wasted effort.
Kamilah, I guess the point is that although you may think they changed the game, Chef Boyardee and Uncle Ben can’t feel pleased with the outcome of their efforts. In my estimation, they won’t be doing this anytime soon.
The hell if dude just prancing his happy azz around in my kitchen…scratchin up my pots.
mmpt, mmpt, mmpt…damn shame.
Didnt read all the previous posts, but you forgot to add that if you say “I don’t just have sex with anybody’ this is a major attraction. Its like those Manolo’s you can’t have. Untouchable.
But, if you wait too long, that’s a turn off too. She will assume you aren’t that attracted to her.
Pepper the wait with passionate and romantic embraces. Kisses on the back of the neck and I want to tear that azz up stares.
nice. good list.
“I want to tear that azz up stares”
shhh….!!!!!! you and Monk are on probation. stop givin’ ish away! (lol!)
The real question Panama is how does a woman charm a man… ?
..answer’s simple…it should not be the primary focus. honestly the charming should be left up to the man, it’s his job to convince us that he’s the right choice, not the other way around.
“..answer’s simple…it should not be the primary focus. honestly the charming should be left up to the man, it’s his job to convince us that he’s the right choice, not the other way around.”
so what part do women play in all of this?
she plays herself.
yeah i’m gonna go ahead and call bullshit and shenanigans on this one.
the biggest bunch of horseshit i’ve ever heard is that a woman shows up as a good catch and a man has to convince her that he’s worth her time.
just as a man needs to prove to a woman that he’s worthy of her time, a woman needs to prove herself as a quality person too especially with a lot of the baggage many women are walking around here with. and since somebody’s gonna act like i just yelled “fire in a crowded room”, i know men have baggage too. that’s why BOFAYALL need to be charming one another.
any woman worth her salt is going to try to show her man that she’s a keeper.
lawry’s.
shit, just cuz i want to see you naked doesn’t mean i want to see you tomorrow. convince me otherwise.
wow P simmer down…
“a woman needs to prove herself as a quality person too especially with a lot of the baggage many women are walking around here with”
so I take it you aint talking about samsonite???
lol…not at all. i’m not heated by the way…but its 316pm and i’m still at work…
naw, not no louie bags pimpin’.
@ any woman worth her salt is going to try to show her man that she’s a keeper.
Sho nuff. Actions is what it is all about. Its the actions that lead to TOMORROW @ just cuz i want to see you naked doesn’t mean i want to see you tomorrow.
Treat a man like a man, and I promise he’ll treat you like a lady. Plus, Ladies know how to hit the door when not respected. Youknowhutimean?
All that being said… you gotta meet the Yung Berg Dark butt requirements and VSB numerical ratings breakdowns prior to all of this happening.
any woman worth her salt is going to try to show her man that she’s a keeper.
P ~ that’s real talk…just like men have to show us why they’re worthy…we have to do the same…
I’m worth my salt…fo’sho…whatchu know bout that Tony Chacheres!
Actually I am one of the guys she is talking about. No there was no orgy or anything like that!!! We just sincerely had a great time. It was appreciation for all the love that the crew showed me over the weekend.
Now keep in mind, I originally was in town DOLO SOLO!!! And God allowed me to bump into a college classmate whom I haven’t seen or talked to in many years; also I didn’t know that SHE was in town as well. So I orginially only knew her and was introduced to the crew by her. And everyone I met that weekend just clicked like we knew each other since kindergarten!!!! Lol.
“Jake and Elwood Blues” LOL!!!
~Cheers!!!!
Well kudos to you mister…and yall question why I love my southern brothas…
…give me southern hospitality or give me death!!!
It was appreciation for all the love that the crew showed me over the weekend.
Appreciation…WOW! I think I almost lost that word from my vocabulary…thanks SH! now this is brother is that ALPHA male we were typing about up top…and to top it off a Southern gentleman… LORD!! you get mad e-love from me…ALREADY!
See, I’m smiling again….take note, this is how you charm a woman…and all her friends…and the women of vsb.com (because she will tell all her girls and fully up your “points” for the next visit)
well shut my mouth wide open.
so nobody hit…EVER?!
hummmm so YOU’RE the pot scratcher.
i think its time for you to invest in some more expensive pots. good pots shouldnt be scratching all like that. maybe a portion of our t-shirt sells can go to your pot replacement fund
I BEG your pardon….
All my pots are cast iron and stainless steel. When I say pot scratcher I MEAN playing around in the pots…scratchin and pretendin…not actual damage.
I see we have another scratcher…who doust protest too much.
hey…i take offense to that. women in western ny still tell tales of my post-club (or coital) scrambled eggs and bacon
“hey…i take offense to that. women in western ny still tell tales of my post-club (or coital) scrambled eggs and bacon”
I hate to hip you to this but you ARE a scratcher. stop playin.
Speaking of t-shirts…I think it’s time to get on that..lol!
btw, did ya’ll keep track of the quotes…
Southern Hospitality,
That makes sense. It sounds like you guys had a blast… and it also sounds like drawz are guaranteed in the next visit. Well played, playa! j/k
BTW I take back what I said about uncle ben and all that
The number ONE thing that will make my britches slide right off:
1. Be My Type of Sexy (You know tall, somewhat built, nice skin, pretty smile, and nice style…and please do have locs)
….so number ONE works really well with the following FIVE
1. make me laugh
2. be vague and mysterious….make me want to know a deeper side to you (like just tell me your nickname and make me work hard to learn your real name)
3. be artsy (this can mean you listen to punk reggae or you’re a sucker for fashion)
4. have quirks (so you shave your legs because hair is gross or you only dance in the rain)
5. don’t pay me any attention but pay me attention (send me text messages throughout the day and ask me what Im doing and then not make plans with me because you were just interested in what I was doing not spending time with me)
Yeah so this is what worked in my current situation….its pretty fuckin accurate….Im a sucker for this shit…and I know Im a sucker but a sucker that is quite pleased.
I love nonsense….is so fuckin charming….and charming plus good looks wins the coochie everytime.
“I love nonsense”
ah yes, a true narcissist
I was hanging out with some good people!!! Again… I only met them by mistake. I wasn’t originally apart of the crew.
Sometimes I think brothas think with the “wrong head”!!! I was with some “True Sista’s” and met some really KOOL brotha’s that weekend. You have to be able to communicate with me on ALL levels to keep my attention. And everyone brought something different to the table. We talked about everything from politics, religion, music, relationships, etc.
And usually the people you meet in the club are either stuck on stooooopid, they want to how many numbers they can program in that cell phone (which is usually turned off cause they can’t keep up the payments), or looking for the next “friend with benefits”!!! LOL.
But this crew… All had some “substance” about themselves!!!
LOL! I think it was the context in which the story was told. Panama posed the question: what are ways to charm a woman out of their unmentionables? Then Kamilah told us about how you redefined the charm game. I guess we (meaning I) thought that their would be an ending that included R. Kelly songs, candles and possibly circus midgets.
I guess the question is…were you interested in any of the women there and how would you follow-up on the excellent precedent that you set with the culinary demonstration?
My bad this was supposed to be directed at Southern Hospitality.
Good question. Im waiting to hear the answer to that myself…
My people, my people…I’m the 2nd brotha Kamilah was referring to. Cooking and having Kamilah and her friends not lift a finger was just doing what a man should do. We called her up on Sunday saying we’re having a cookout at your crib, invite some of your friends. This woman opened up her beautiful abode to a couple of cats she just met less than 48hrs earlier, she’s gotta work the next day, you have to show some respect and gratitude to a woman that warm and inviting. I just wanted the ladies to relax, extend a lil “midwest” hospitality, so I said, “Take a load off sweetie we got this”. So we proceeded to display a few culinary skills. Preparing dinner and cleaning up afterward truly was no big deal, we never once thought about it in terms of being impressive or changing the game or any of that. We were just a couple of dudes looking for some good food while being surrounded by completely beautiful, socially conscious and politically asute women that just so happened to have a passion for sports, lol (Almost forgot these type of ladies existed, real talk!)… It was a great time!! Can’t wait for the next trip to the Chi.. It’s going to be betta than a Michael Jordan comeback…
DOPE…that’s all I got… (impressed)
listen to & remember things i say. hands down, this will most likely eventually get you the panties. it shows that you’re actually listening when i talk, and not just fantasizing about said panties.
not that i don’t want you to fantasize about my panties. i do. but a smart man knows how to multitask.
bonus pts: have eyes for me.
an ex once recounted for me, after months of dating, the exact outfit i’d worn the day he met me. from my hairstyle to my earrings to my shoes (nike dunks, natch). details, fellas, details.
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