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Charlamagne Is Basically Every Ciara-Hating Twitter Nigga

According to an African proverb, “You can’t be both dumb and ugly. Pick a struggle.” Charlamagne the I Don’t Use the Lord’s Name In Vain decided he would pick every struggle when he tweeted, in so many words, that Black women need to be more like hate-filled bucket of gluten-free fuckshit Tomi Lahren. He not only picked every struggle, but he’s giving each one a lap dance at King of Diamonds, boo-ing them up, then strolling down the aisle towards them before “International Player’s Anthem (I Choose You)” plays as his entry music. What a waste of UGK and Outkast, man.

Anyway…

1. First of all, Tomi Lahren didn’t create shit

Sidenote, you know a Black person is mad when we begin a sentence with “first of all.” There usually isn’t a second of all, it’s just a signal that we have a menagerie of qualms about some dumb shit somebody just said.

Tomi Lahren is not a creator. Most of her thoughts come from the same cesspool of right-wing catchphrases that have polluted the airwaves for decades. And she can parade her vomit of conservative talking points on-air because TheBlaze hired her and gave her that platform. She just…existed. That’s like saying we should be more like air… but precisely 5000% less useful than that.

Lahren gets paid to read a teleprompter. She doesn’t work towards justice. She doesn’t battle on the streets in civil disobedience. She doesn’t advance any noteworthy cause for equality. Hell, she doesn’t even have to do the basic work that even neo-Nazi creators have to do, like publish, produce, film, edit, or market. She doesn’t do any fucking thing to advance her Bullshit White Opinions™ except read 3rd grade rants on cue. Once again, White mediocrity is worth more than the real blood, sweat, and tears Black people — and Black women in particular — shed to protect ninjas who clearly couldn’t give a solitary damn.

2. Umm…Black women are doing the damn thing

While propping up Darth Neo-Con Becky, Charlamagne completely erased the Black women in entertainment and media who actually do the work he said we need to do. Did Franchesca Ramsey disappear all of a sudden? Crissle claps back at White foolishment on multiple media outlets on a regular. Luvvie Ajayi has become a national treasure. Kimberly Foster built up For Harriet with nothing but grit and started creating regular video content. Ava DuVernay is making award-winning films and documentaries and addictive TV shows. (Editor’s note: There’s also Morgan Debaun, Evelyn From The Internets, Another Round, Aisha Harris’s Represent podcast at Slate, my cousin sarah huny young…)

Beyond that, there are hundreds of Black women who work their asses off to get a voice in this uber-competitive field but there’s this little thing called WHITE PRIVILEGE THAT MAKES IT KINDA HARD FOR BLACK WOMEN TO RECEIVE THE SAME OPPORTUNITIES AND CHANCES AND CHANCES TO FAIL THAT WHITE WOMEN DO.

3. Charlamagne is Anti-Ciara Twitter personified

CTG is the type of nigga who gets mad at a Black woman for dealing with an ain’t-shit dude and also for moving on from said dude. Basically, he’s chair, CEO, and majority owner of Future Hive.

If a Black women rants regularly in the media, she’s angry. If we move like Gs in silence like lasagna, we’re not being loud enough. For men like him, we can’t ever do right. (Unless you’re his dermatologist. He whips out mentions of homegirl like she’s the token Black best friend.)

Not only do the Donkey Every Day’s comments smack of ignorance, but they display the type of vitriol some Black dudes can have for Black women regardless of what we do. His original tweet–which started the firestorm of clapbacks against him– wasn’t an innocent observation. It was an accusation. Bruh used “woke” in quotes as if we just “play-play” getting angry and starting movements and marching in streets and working in non-profits for his dumbass just for shits and giggles.

Boy just say you don’t like Black women and gone about your day. Save them extras characters on Twitter. It’ll give you more time to re-up your “exfoliation” regimen and fit in with the Tomis of the world. By “exfoliation” I mean “whatever it is you’re doing that is literally and figuratively rubbing off your blackness.”

We got too many folk tryna Dolezal their way into being The African Americans, and we full. Make space.

Malaika Jabali

Malaika Jabali is a writer and activist who received her M.S. and J.D. from Columbia University. She is too busy doing real social justice work to bloviate on TV every day about imaginary right-wing shit, to the chagrin of dudes who head up the Ain't-Shit Ninja Committee and vomit out grape emojis on Ciara's IG instead of doing any heavy lifting. Malaika is also the Co-Chair of Operation POWER, a Brooklyn-based political organization bringing black, radical politics to NYC. One day she will be less angry. Today is not the day. But she does smile sometimes on her instagram via @missjabali.

  • Brother Mouzone

    Ok ya’ll, let’s not make ourselves go at each other’s throats again over someone as insignificant as this fool and his new she-devil best friend. We beat this to death already.

    • Negro Libre

      You can’t ask fire not to burn when it’s being bathed in gasoline bruh

      • Shemeka Hankins

        This reply here!!!! ??????????

      • T-shirt material

      • Dcetstyle

        Bravo!!!!

      • Brother Mouzone

        Yeah….touche

        • Brother Mouzone

          Yaaaaay!!! you tell em! lets talk about this errry day till 2017!!! yaaaaay!!!

          • Brother Mouzone

            “And in other VSB news, an unarmed Black man was sh……WAIT, Charlamagne just said something offensive!!!!

    • LBS

      It’ll be “beaten to death” once people stop coming at black women for no reason…

      • miss t-lee
      • Brother Mouzone

        I guess I’ll understand this better if I knew what he says about Black women. I thought this was about him giving white she-devil a platform. I only know him from “Guy Code” and “Uncommon Sense” on MTV, never listened to the radio show.

        • Blueberry01

          “I guess I’ll understand this better if I knew what he says about Black women.”

          1. Go find the nearest Black woman that you know.

          2. Have her read this post.

          3. Ask her to help you understand or answer any further questions that you may have.

          Claiming ignorance is not an adequate reason to dismiss another person’s perspective.

          • Brother Mouzone

            1. I asked several. They either never heard of him or did and didn’t care what he had to say because they have lives.
            2. See 1
            3.. see 1
            4. You can’t even tell me, which tells me ALL I need to know.

            • Blueberry01

              BM, how does “having a life” relate to acknowledging the importance of systematic oppression of AA, which you seem to not want to do?

              So perhaps you can find a black woman who actually knows CTG – and by your definition, doesn’t have a life – who can explain the gravity of this issue to you.

              As for me, I agree with everything Malaika posted. What additional questions do you have?

              • Brother Mouzone

                Did I EVER say I DISAGREED with her? Huh? Find that comment from me please. If you would take a break from the lynch mob and actually READ and COMPREHEND, I felt we were continually covering the same ground that was already covered the day before…It was never about disagreeing with the post. And if you think that I somehow I don’t acknowledge systematic oppression just because of a fcking Charlamagne post, you really DO need to get a life.

                • Blueberry01

                  BM, I never said that you stated that you disagreed. I focused on the fact that you don’t deem this be an important post or that you didn’t understand where the original poster was coming from.

                  Here’s what YOU said:

                  “I guess I’ll understand this better if I knew what he says about Black women.”

                  “We beat this to death already.”

                  So, about that reading and comprehension that you were talking about….

                  (But I’m glad that you’re willing to dialogue with me so you can understand how serious this issue is to AA women. ?)

                  • Junegirl627

                    BM is truly doing the most on a post that he deems not important and distracting….

                    I can’t stand ninja’s like that. If you don’t think this post isnt worth your notice then fluck on til there is a post worthy of you dammnn eyeballs!! Why people think anyone wants to read some smug POS’s opinion of my opinion. GTFOH

                    • Blueberry01

                      Hey, JG!?

                      Girl, I’m convinced that some people just want someone to talk to – and I’m here to perform my e-civic duty as a listener.

                    • Junegirl627

                      Hey girl!

                      I get that people need to talk, but stop the judging sheeit. If I like taking an hour to watch love and hip hop on mondays After teaching black people about fiscal responsibility, managing credit and how we are conditioned to do things that will result in lower credit ratings than our white counterparts. Don’t biitcch about my love of ratchet TV and don’t tell me I should spend that time marching for a cause or reading about black struggle or watching a black history documentary. Because I did my part this time is for me and this light work stuff is what keeps me off the F B I watch list so BACK THE HECK OFF.

                    • Blueberry01

                      “If I like taking an hour to watch love and hip hop on mondays After teaching black people about fiscal responsibility, managing credit and how we are conditioned to do things that will result in lower credit ratings than our white counterparts.”

                      We weren’t taught the benefits of delayed gratification. I’m telling you, girl, some of our chexual experiences would enhance dramatically if we slowed down and cherished the moment.

                      “Don’t biitcch about my love of ratchet TV and don’t tell me I should spend that time marching for a cause or reading about black struggle or watching a black history documentary. Because I did my part this time is for me and this light work stuff is what keeps me off the F B I watch list so BACK THE HECK OFF.”

                      Truth. Some people like to dictate
                      your level of wokeness with how visible you are in in the community. I do believe the strong move quietly, though.

                      …but, uh, I don’t bang with ratchet TV, JG, so I can’t cosign on that…

                    • Junegirl627

                      “…but, uh, I don’t bang with ratchet TV, JG, so I can’t cosign on that..”
                      lol that’s cool. If my friends don’t like it I won’t force you to watch it with me, but if you huff, role your eyes, or comment on my enjoyment of it prepare you eyes for the heat you will experience.

                    • Blueberry01

                      I hear you.

                      I hate when people attempt to ruin your experience because they choose not to appreciate it. Just elect to not be around it, if possible.

                      Or, just don’t say anything.

          • Brother Mouzone

            You probably never read past the first sentence.

            • Blueberry01

              …and you probably never read past mine, BM…

              • Brother Mouzone

                That’s the weak comeback of someone with nothing to say. It’s obvious I read the whole thing by the way I answered each of your “points”

                • Blueberry01

                  …and I responded accordingly…

                  I have a feeling that you’re not actually reading my responses. You’re just scrolling through them to get to the end so you can hit “reply”.

    • La Bandita

      Don’t start nothing and there won’t be nothing…

      • Brother Mouzone

        Not “starting nothing” I just overestimated the ability of the commentators to recognize a cheap lazy post capitalizing on the high number of responses of the previous same @ss post from yesterday. I guess it’s all about click bait.

        • La Bandita

          My fingers were cramped from the last post. But you were complaining in that one too. You don’t hate Black women but you are very sexist. Why does it bother you to BM accountable? Only other BM should?

          • Brother Mouzone

            No problem with accountability, the post was just lazy and redundant. But I guess this is what VSB has become, a guy who dares to have an opinion is a sexist.

            • La Bandita

              No papi you can’t fall back on that. Sexism works hand in hand with racism. White Supremacy puts WW up and puts BW as not human. There is no civil war between the sexes. You have to be apart of the solution and not take it as a personal attack on your man hood.

              • Brother Mouzone

                You obviously haven’t been reading this blog very long. A little research into the past will clear it up for you as far as what I stand for.

                • La Bandita

                  Why do I need your past writing when your present is very sexist? Listen my husband is Black own the sexist that Black hold as a way to have power. If you let it go it makes you feel like you have nothing, but you gain a partner.

    • Freebird

      My dude….don’t even….just go back to the Donny Hathaway post.

    • YourOpinionisNotAFact

      I get the idea of dismissing someone as insignificant because we think they’re stupid, but that’s escapism.

      He’s ignorant, but not insignificant. He’s the host of one of the most popular morning shows in the most populous city in the US. People listen to this ashwipe.

      • Negro Libre
        • Freebird

          Ignorance is Presidential. It’s a career move….and a conversation starter.

          • YourOpinionisNotAFact

            breh.

      • Brother Mouzone

        He’s as significant as each individual allows him to be in their own mind. I doubt if he’s influencing opinions on any issues that are important, and if he is, that’s on the listener. That’s not escapism, that’s being above the ignorant nonsense of a wacky “morning gossip” show.

        • YourOpinionisNotAFact

          then why does anyone talk about any important issues? Why don’t we just allow everyone to form their own opinions without comment?

          (Because there will always be commentary and it’s important to provide rebuttals to stupid commentary. You have no idea who’s listening and could be influenced in one direction or the other)

      • Blueberry01

        “I get the idea of dismissing someone as insignificant because we think they’re stupid, but that’s escapism.”

        Actually escapism is acitively finding ways to avoid the truth or unpleasant realities. In this case, we’re dismissing him because HE is employing escapist tactics in not acknowledging the plight of AA – especially women.

        • YourOpinionisNotAFact

          interesting interpretation.

    • Ghettoprincess

      Never forget

      • Brother Mouzone

        Forget what?

    • Blueberry01

      Obviously not if Bullsh*t White Opinions matter…

  • Tasha Lawrence?

    Lmao @this entry. Really?! It’s Charlamagne. Enough said. Nothing that comes out of his mouth should ever warrant a coherent response. He is paid to spew.

    • Negro Libre

      Charlagmagne is like a goat: you whip him, he yelps, and then 30 secs later, he does the exact thing that made you whoop him in the first place.

      • Tasha Lawrence?

        I don’t even understand why folks are writing certified dissertations….

        • Negro Libre

          Thinkpiece gonna Thinkpiece now.

          I wish I could’ve read all the thinkpieces in the 90’s on Fresh Prince episodes

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kNUDTyEgj4

          • Val

            I actually would have loved to read think pieces about episodes of A Different World. I just saw the episode where Shazza goes full on Hotep. It was begging for a think piece.

          • Madam CJ_Skywalker

            LMAO. Still funny!!

        • Brother Mouzone

          Thank you!

          • Brother Mouzone

            It’s muthafckin Charlamagne!!! lol

            • Brother Mouzone

              The funniest thing is, 3 years from now if this blog is still going, people will look back and say “did we really spend a week talkin about that dude that used to be on MTV and the radio?” You know…dude with the lisp” . I can’t think of his name right now, but he was hot in the streets back in 2016 doe.

        • Brother Mouzone

          COMMON SENSE PREVAILS!!! Dam, I was starting to lose faith, I guess it really IS uncommon.

      • Brother Mouzone

        That’s my fckin point!

      • Brother Mouzone

        That’s my fckin point!

    • Brother Mouzone

      COMMON SENSE PREVAILS!!! Dam, I was starting to lose faith, I guess it really IS uncommon.

    • Brother Mouzone

      You must be a GANGSTA….nobody came at YOU for calling out this redundant bullsh*t. Much respect Tasha Lawrence.

    • Brother Mouzone

      The funniest thing is, 3 years from now if this blog is still going, people will look back and say “did we really spend a week talkin about that dude that used to be on MTV and the radio?” You know…dude with the lisp” . I can’t think of his name right now, but he was hot in the streets back in 2016 doe

    • Brother Mouzone

      You must be a GANGSTA….nobody came at YOU for calling out this redundant bullsh*t. Much respect Tasha Lawrence

  • TJ

    “Boy just say you don’t like Black women and gone about your day. ” Malaika, you’re out here doing the Lord’s work with this.

    All the women you’ve mentioned are out here on CREATING. He’s just big mad.

    But you’re right…he’s just the poster boy for a sizable junk of ashy ninjas. Like, who are you?

    • LBS

      Exactly. SOOOO many sisters are out here CREATING!

    • Brown Rose

      That’s the thing. Black women are always creating. Always doing. When have we ever rested because no one has given us anything for free.

  • LBS

    “Boy just say you don’t like Black women and gone about your day. Save them extras characters on Twitter.”

    That’s the truth right there. Tired of seeing people who have absolutely no respect or love for black women trying to give them “advice.”

    Annnnd this: “Tomi Lahren is not a creator.”

    She didn’t even create hate. She just perpetuates it.

  • cyanic

    I hope Ciara is not the new spokesman for black womanhood?

    • Tasha Lawrence?

      Why?

      • cyanic

        Laughs.

        • Tasha Lawrence?

          ?.

          • cyanic

            Someone who couldn’t maintain a career in music, pulled every thirst move possible for the illusion of relevancy gets knocked up by dirt. Then leaves dirt to wife up a glass closet case, and you’re suppose to applaud this as winning?

            • Tasha Lawrence?

              So Who makes the cut? The woman who is a lawyer, doctor, UN global ambassador (whose dirt you don’t know?)

              • cyanic

                If having standards is respectability politics, why is anyone demanding respect?

                • Tasha Lawrence?

                  bye.

                  • cyanic

                    You can keep a 2 dollar ho as your mascot.

                    • Tasha Lawrence?

                      Ok.

                    • Blueberry01

                      Exactly how is she a ho? She trusted that a man would stay committed to her in monogamy and he didn’t.

                      Wouldn’t Future be the hoe in this case since he was the one who cheated?

                • Blueberry01

                  Well, she actually did which is why she left Future.

                  Cy, you really need to explore why you hate successful or celebrated black women. Do you also hate your mother, too?

            • FeeFee

              “Someone who couldn’t maintain a career in music, pulled every thirst move possible for the illusion of relevancy gets knocked up by dirt. Then leaves dirt to wife up a glass closet case, and you’re suppose to applaud this as winning?–Yes it is winning hands down.

              Everything else you mentioned, unless you know her personally, is simply your personal opinion.

              • Blueberry01

                Don’t even bother, Fee Fee. I think he has an issue with successful or celebrated black women.

            • Blueberry01

              “Then leaves dirt to wife up a glass closet case, and you’re suppose to applaud this as winning?”

              How can you use degradatory language against gay men who may be in the closet? That has a negative reflection on you, Cy (whether on not you were/are a GCS).

      • Blueberry01

        Tasha, don’t bother. He’s the same person that said Britney Spears was better than Janet Jackson.

        I’m convinced that he has an issue with successful or celebrated black women.

    • Blueberry01

      Cy, don’t start…

    • blogdiz

      Is that what you got from the article ?
      Cuz I got that there is a certain segment of ashy BM(and women) whose combined mix of respectability politics , policing and disdain for BW (internal misogyny ) and plain hateration who are unduly obsessed with hating Ciara to the point of ridiculousness(Not a Ciara fan but find this negative fixation with her bizarre )

      Its gotten so deep that once you hear uncalled for Ciara slander you kinna know who you dealng with

      • cyanic

        The use of Ciara for the title is distracting. Since she has nothing to do with the principals involved. She will get dragged because she’s drag-able.

        • blogdiz

          The Title is perfect because it focuses on the mentality of people who think Ciara is dragable and spend an inordinate amouunt of time so
          Ciara bashing is apparently a lightening rod for hotepry , misgynour and respectabilty policing wgich is CGT’s wheel house

  • This. Right. Here. I literally just freaked out my coworkers because I was giving my computer screen a standing ovation

  • Courtney Wheeler

    “White mediocrity is worth more than the real blood, sweat, and tears Black people — and Black women in particular — shed to protect ninjas who clearly couldn’t give a solitary damn.”
    https://media.giphy.com/media/QmYosM4PO08FO/giphy.gif

  • La Bandita

    My fingers are cramped from yesterday’s fight. But you are a very beautiful girl.

    • grownandsexy2

      And you were definitely fighting the good fight yesterday. I got exhausted just reading. You’re my shero!

      • La Bandita

        Thanks, Chica! If she wrote this before Damon’s I would’ve been typing with my toes.

  • Courtney Wheeler

    I think the thing that irks me the most about Tomi is that she isn’t even smart…and that was definitely highlighted during on The Daily Show. I feel like she’s the community theater version of Ann Coulter and Glenn Beck.

    CTG comes from the Wendy Williams school of radio host. Just say some ridiculous stuff until people pay attention.

  • Your 1st two points are very strong. It can not be repeated enough about how she is responsible for creating…nothing. She honestly just kinda of fell into fame because she’s a thin, white, blonde woman who is young. It’s not like she went to a nationally recognized school (and to my knowledge wasn’t even in the top of her class in any regards). She took a media internship and because she was conventionally attractive they immediately put her in front of the camera. There’s literally nothing exceptional about her and she’s done nothing exceptional but Leonard props up this false narrative of her as a “creator” of…something.

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