I do not think that I’m Big Meech.
Or Larry Hoover.
In fact, I’m pretty sure that Rick Ross doesn’t either. I get the impression that deep down, Rick Ross is kind of a p*ssy. I have nothing firm to base this on, but he reminds me of the same big talk cats I used to know in some of my less than stellar stomping grounds who would b*tch up at the most times. He just has way better rhyming skills and has a great ear for beats.
But yes, the odd fears of the gangsta. In the past few weeks I’ve come across some individuals who would easily fit the profile of “a little more hood than the average cat” (namely through their actual known convictions) who had the MOST irrational fears I’ve heard of. Not only that, but then…you know what…why give away the story up front. Here are a list of odd fears of a gangsta…
1) Thunderstorms
I wish I was lying, but my Dominos delivery man looks like he just got out prison…the day before every day he’s ever delivered my pizza. Dayquan is a cool dude and all but let’s just say I meet him far away from my front door to get my food. Anyway, one day a few weeks ago, I haphazardly ordered a pizza and then the sky dropped. I mean thunder lightning and women in stilettos. It was bananas. But here comes Dayquan in his tricked out Dodge Magnum. Except instead of getting out of his car, he beckoned me over…into the rain. I go to his car, visibly mad that the delivery man didn’t deliver my sh*t, and he’s like, “yo dog, I don’t do thunderstorms man. Like, you see what they do to trees?? What they gonna do to me, man?? I don’t have no thunder, dog.” By the way, he forgot my Sprite. Oh, and I didn’t make up any part of that story aside from the name. Yeah, this dude is scared of thunderstorms.
2) Heights
I known a lot of people are scared of heights. But thugs aren’t scared of jail where the opportunity for being gangraped by 12 cholos and 3 guys named ‘Toine is nearly imminent. Yet, I know dudes who have committed armed robberies and possible “other” felonies who straight up do.not.f*ck.with.heights. Like, keep me away from the edge of this two story building because I don’t want to die from falling off this lowscraper.
3) Mice
I don’t like mice either, but I’ve definitely murdered my fair share of Mickey’s cousins. I do not like mice in my space. Well, I have a cousin in ATL who had quite the rep in a recently departed housing project that was commonly shouted out by ATL thugs on the Westside. And this dude did NOT do mice under any circumstance. He was a hop on the chair kind of dude. And I’ve seen it happen. Big Black Af from building 422…no problem. Tiny little fieldmouse from Bolton Road? B*tchmade.
4) Cats
Gangstas and thugs are conspiracy theorists by nature. Except their conspiracies aren’t always of the intellectual variety. Sometimes they theorize about sh*t like why cats are the devil spawn and how society is really going to come to a downfall because a cat will end up as the head of the Illuminati and Jay-Z will take his orders directly from him. Or her, because nobody’s really sure if cats are male or female despite the obvious ability to, ya know, check. I’ve had a dude tell me that cats were the original racists. And for that reason, he never really trusted cats, people with cats, and could never root for a college who had a cat mascot.
5) Marionettes/Ventriloquist Dummies
The first time the word marrionette gets mentioned on this site and its attached to gangstas. Amazing what we do here. Hell, when was the last time you heard the word marionette? I happened upon a convo in my old apartment complex in ATL between a guy who would eventually be placed on the GBI’s 10 Most Wanted List and one of his homeys and these ninjas were debating about marionettes. Lil’ Murder? He was seriously shook about them. Something about the strings. Once again, I’m not making this up. I added ventriliquist dummies because they weird me out and cuz, baby, well I’m a thug.
Anyway, Monday morning masses, are you aware of any irrational and odd fears that gangstas tend to have? By the way ladies, its midnight…
…do you know where your ovaries are?
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka VITAMIN P aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3
ohhhhh snap!
@b.Collins – do you have the power or something?
Well…I’m the first person to read the whole post.
lol
LMFAO @ the tags. Honestly, I think I’m big meech sometimes…why do you think I be in b-more every other weekend? *looks around*
On the real, I think fear of mice is a big one. I have no idea, but I think it has something to do with the bubonic plague.
I have irrational fears of my own though, I think they are normal. I won’t tell you these fears lest you try to use this against me.
Peace and Love
Naima
Also, thunderstorms are NOT an irrational fear. I almost got killed in a storm today because of people who don’t know how to drive on the effin’ highway….and the bad construction on 495 *cries* and those damn trucks who flash their lights at you when you are going the speed limit. And ridiculously loud thunder and harsh winds and scary lightening. Summer storms are the TRUTH…seeing all the wreckage go across the highway….I think I’m gonna suffer PTSD from these summer storms.
Maybe your Pizza man just went through some serious ish during a storm. That stuff can mess a gangsta up…take it from me.
@TheTalentedMs.Fiasco – i dont care what he went thru, he shouldn’t be sharing such gayness with me whilst non-delivering MY pizza.
@panama jackson
@TheTalentedMs.Fiasco – i dont care what he went thru, he shouldn’t be sharing such gayness with me whilst non-delivering MY pizza.
i think you might have him pegged wrong, nothing about this scenario said he was gangsta.
i dont know many gangsta pizza delivery guys.
maybe he was a hood or ghetto delivery guy, but definitely not “gangsta”
I don’t do storms either. I don’t really care about thunder or the rain or wind and whatnot, but let me see some lightning and I’m haulin ass to the nearest building until that ish has completely passed. I’m not about to be taken out by Mother Nature like those walking lightning rods with 30 piercings and their iPod on.
I read the post, I promise, I just couldn’t get pass the “I Hate Rick Ross” fan club letterhead. I love him. Shameful, but true. And I was just starting to like you again PJ…
I do however concur w/ cats being up to no effing good ever and they have the worst attitudes.
I’d like to add two items to the list: 1)open water/swimming pools to the list. Cracks me up when a big ass thug dude is afraid of water and can’t swim. Even better when they hold their noses to put their faces in the water. U gotta be kidding. 2) little dogs. i was walking my little guy and he apparently had an issue w/ some big dude walking by-the kind of guy that would make women clutch their bags and cross the street. My dog barked at him and this dude jumped higher than my dog does when i hold treats in the air as his “trick.” I laughed IN the guy’s face.
@B.Collins – i actually like Rick Ross. dude is good rapper. but he’s on that BS talking about being Big Meech or even Larry Hoover. though i guess if you aspire to prison, you couldn’t have better role models.
“are you aware of any irrational and odd fears that gangstas tend to have? ”
A rich white neighborhood.
@ santa monica: LMAO!
I think twice about going out when their is lightning present. I’m tall and alot of tall people are hesitant of thunderstorms. Funny thing is I teach electronics and work with high voltage all the time.
*chokes on laughter*
Good Morning Cheekie! Fun Weekend?
All kinds of fun. I was on a mothereffin boat. No flippy floppies, tho.
That is an entirely RATIONAL fear, santa monica. WPs in assembly anywhere is, in fact.
My ovaries?? Well, I hope they’re where I left them…. *Self Note: check on ovaries*
I once knew a thug afraid of baby dolls. Something about chilldhood nights at his grandma’s house. *shrug*
To see him be so shook- it was funny, sad & strange at the same time.
I know exactly where my ovaries are mister. Thank you very much! *snickering* Seriously though, I don’t know how to answer this post since I don’t know any real gangstas, kinda like Rick Ross.
I share two of the listed fears.
Can I guess?
I’d say height cause most black people are afraid of heights and Marionettes/Ventriloquist Dummies jsut cause it makes sense.
Heights is one. Mice/Rats are the other. Mostly rats. I have killed a few mice with my bare hands so do not make my heart pump any slushy.
@Dash – does that mean you’re a gangsta?
Dash is very much a gangster. I am a member of The Gangster Disciples because of my birthday is The Fourth of July. I was born on the 7 and the 4, and thus have automatic membership. *Throws up pitch fork*
@Dash – i think this definitely qualfies as internet thuggery and bangology.
um…Larry Hoover??
I prefer the term goon.
my overies??? um.. hopefully still doin what they been doin and supposed to be doin..
funny thing about fears..they aren’t rational..and yet we all still have them. mine is water (and yes, i shower on a daily and brush my teeth), but more specifically large bodies of water (lakes, oceans) mostly cuz i cant swim, so i know if i should fall into one..my a$$ is dead. and i’m allowed to fear death right? driving on bridges over water gives me the heebie jeebies every time. (i really just wanted to use heebie jeebies).
good afternoon, good evening and good night!
Bridges over water that are going through construction give me a straight panic attack. I was driving earlier this week and the bridge going to dc over the potomac (there are a lot of bridges I know, but I don’t pay attention to names…I think it was the Memorial Bridge?) was going through some construction and they made the lanes smaller.
I just about lost it. I’m the kind of person that says “oh my god, oh my god, oh my god” and screams in my car (when i’m alone) when things like this happen. Maybe I shouldn’t be driving?
I’m gonna go ahead and agree with you and say you shouldnt be driving. With yo ole danger to road self
“…was going through some construction and they made the lanes smaller.”
Nerd moment:
The American Association of State Highway and Transportation Officials (AASHTO) has done studies and determined that people slow down when there is a barricade or wall next to the travel lane or when the lane width is reduced from the standard 12-foot lane to an 11-foot or 10-foot lane. Sometimes this is done intentionally to get you to slow down (of course, sometimes they just need the space for construction).
shoutout for nerds!!! are you an engineer? im an urban planner. HAI!
Yep, Civil Engineer in Houston. Where you at?
**Submitting my request to be included in the nerdy engineer thread.**
Lol I’m a CE in ATL working on cross sections right know.
I’m currently working on modifications to the elephant exhibit at the Houston Zoo…putting in a demonstration area, pool, and sewage treatment plant for the elephants. Gotta love it!
palm beach county fl. im actually on the implementation side of urban planning which many planners dont get to do. w00!
I can’t swin either and I live in San Diego now…home of the beach scene. I always joke that I’m gonna be the only mutha on the shore with a life jacket. Safety first!
I hate mice with a passion. Not afraid of them, just don’t like ‘em.
I am certified afraid of clowns. Something about a man (why are most clowns men anyway) in make up who chooses to dress that way and refrain from speaking that makes me think Jesus is coming and the devil is not a lie all at the same time. Hate ‘em
@kb,
being afraid of large bodies of water when you can’t swim is very rational.
whats irrational? being able to swim (a varsity swimmer in fact) and afraid of drowning. *raises hand* thatd be me.
@Keisha
“funny thing about fears..they aren’t rational..and yet we all still have them. ”
Well, some are. Like your fear of death. Perfectly rational.
My fear of bumblebees? Perfectly irrational. Even if my fear stemmed from being dropped on my head as a baby because my mother is irrationally afraid of bumblebees and ran screaming once… (Which, yes I suspect might have happened…) Not rational. Learned.
Yes, I am a gangsta. I’m from Watts. ‘Nough said.
(Throwing up the peace and thumbs up signs.)
Other irrational gangsta fears and isms…
Potato bugs. My dad grew up in Watts and is very much the quintessential thug CEO twice over. He jumps and jitters and goes all squeamish, eyes closed at the sight of those bad boys.
Last, not fears but things you don’t expect from gangstas, somehow:
1) High-pitched voice;
2) Vegan, vegetarian, pescatarian, or anything not bloody eating-like;
3) Starbucks activity of any kind not involving a stick-up.
I know the starr of a gang, we’ll call him P., who doesn’t do lightning, statues, or eyes.
BTW, this post reminded me of the scene from Under the Cherry Moon where Prince goes “I ain’t afraid of sh*t!” and Jerome’s like “Are you afraid of bats?” and they look up and see bats and everybody runs out of the restaurant screaming. I’m actually kind of curious to know if anyone else knows what the hell I’m talking about.
I’ve seen Under The Cherry Moon, but it was so long ago I honestly don’t remember this scene…lol
Statues ok… but eyes P…. EYES? lol
Eyeballs gross me out yo. I don’t wear contacts because I don’t want to touch my eyes and mess my vision up any more than it already is.
I started out like this…didn’t want anything coming anywhere near my eyes. It took a long time before I was finally able to go through with putting a contact on my eye. Once I did, that improved my comfort level to where ultimately I let someone cut on my eyes (LASIK).
Oh you mean stuff going INTO your eyes *slaps forehead* I get it now…
Eyeballs are gross. In one episode of Grey’s anatomy they had to stab a patient in the eye to relieve the pressure on the brain. Ughhhhh!!! I grabbed the remote and changed channels so fast. Ewww
I do wear contacts though. Go figure!!
@P – how you gonna be afraid of in inanimate object?
I don’t f*cks with larger-than-life faces and stuff. I blame it on a trip to Boston I took when I was like four and we saw some church or something that had a huge bust of Dr. King in the ground. My dad stood me next to it and this man’s head was like twice the size of me and I’ve been f*cked up ever since.
*Ahem…* (first time commenting)
Every single thug I know (that I’ve actually seen their gun and whatnot) is scared of flying. A group of friends and I wanted to go to Vegas, and KDub said he was going to drive from Atlanta. And, he was serious. I was perplexed. His reasoning, “Planes be crashing and s**t…”
Wow. That was deep.
@MsVivienne – welcome and sh*t.
i remember reading a story a long time ago about how Fat Joe refused to fly on planes after 9/11. if he couldn’t get there by bus, he wasn’t going.
John Madden had a similar plight, not sure how gansta he is though.
Aretha Franklin doesn’t fly either….and her hat game alone and daring her spaghetti strap tops to let go makes her gangsta ‘den a mutha’…
Wasn’t that supposed to accompanied with glitter or bubbles or wedding rice or something? I was prepared for my glitter, bubbles, or wedding rice…
I hate flying too, and if I had more time, I wouldn’t do it. It’s pretty unsettling to know that if something not under your control goes wrong, then you’re 30,000 feet above the ground and there’s nothing you can do.
@P – that’s actually why im comfortable flying. it’s the one place where control issues have no bearing. if the plane is going down, you’re f*cked. period. i can appreciate the black-and-whiteness of it.
control issues are for mofos who like living in grey areas.
I know that this reply is late, but your feelings toward flying are exactly why I enjoy skydiving. I like the view and the feel of being free AND I know if something goes wrong, I’m done (no intense lingering pain, just death). So, I may as well enjoy it!
I’ve never understood that logic like cars don’t crash (and way more frequently) I have an LS that only does road trips. Smh
I think that’s what gets me…cars crash everyday. And you have control over it sometimes, and you crash anyway. I also notice guys (not necessarily thugs) who can swim but refuse to go on cruises.
Initially I thought ordering from Dominos was weird, but now “Under the Cherry Moon” has been mentioned so all seems right w/ the world… WTF??!! LOL!
Love the pic, that cat is running SOMETHING!
The only fear I can come up w/ is “feelings”, but I can’t confirm it & am probably basing it on one too many movies…
@Cali – whats wrong with ordering from Dominos???
Domino’s-that ish is not great
Thugs in the army say they aren’t scared of anything but the ones that I know are all afraid of bugs. ANY kind of bugs. mosquitos, ants, spiders. i saw one try to shoot a spider *crickets chirp* yes shoot a spider,
Good Morning.
@sixfootdiva -welcome and sh*t
i actually like their pizza. and its right by my house. plus, i get thugged out delivery dudes who are afraid of thunderstorms and platypus’s delivering my pizza instead of iranian expats who used to be nuclear physicists in their home country.
“whats wrong with ordering from Dominos???”
Because that’s the worst pizza evah. Ok, not evah…but it’s pretty dayum bad. Says the pizza snob from the Chi with really high standards.
I haven’t tasted the new (allegedly improved) pizza yet. I refuse to pay for it and make myself the guinea pig tho. I’m gonna mooch of someone else’s.
“Says the pizza snob from the Chi with really high standards.”
Uh no… I’m from Atlanta and I think their pizza is hot garbage. Haven’t tasted the new recipe either, but I can’t say I’m really interested.
lol I just put that disclaimer there because a LOT of folks from outside here actually dig their pizza. I don’t e’en get it. *shrug*
@Cheekie,
Who in Chi has the best deep dish? As a tourist, of course it was on my to do list, and went to Gino’s East. I was um.. disappointed to say the least (no shots fired). Anywhere else I should try on my next trip? (which im hoping is this fall).
@Keisha
“Who in Chi has the best deep dish?” O_O pause… thanks! #asyouwere
@Yeah..So..
we talkimbout pizza! lol.
not the game, we talkimbout practice! oops. had an AI moment.
Hmm…um, as a southsider, I gotta say Milano’s out by me. But Giardano’s (a chain) is pretty decent too.
And yeah, Gino’s east is a FAIL, IMO. I’ve only been there once.
And next time you come, I gotta make sure to meet you in person.
Lou Malnati’s is that deal. Thin crust no deep dish.
@Cheekie
Of course!! I’d love to come for thanksgiving weekend (shopppinnnnggg!!). but we’ll see.
the new dominoes pizza is pretty good.
im a fan of the american legends pizza line though..those are delicious
and dominoes has the fi! sides
Yeah, now their sides, I fux with. But, they got some stupid rule where they won’t deliver unless you order at least one pizza. WTF, what if I brought 50 dollars worth of sides, you’d be like, “sorry, gotta get a 5 dollar pizza or no deal”
Dominos sucks a$$.
It’s cardboardish, but you’re right – you do get the interesting delivery dudes, so its kinda worth it. I’ve always preferred Round Table myself… or greazy-a** Pizza Hut but there aren’t many around here anymore (Oakland)…
I dated a thuggish-adjacent dude in my younger days was low-key scared of the dark. Let’s just say I laughed a lot on the inside.
@Naturally Alise – men cry in the dark ma’am. i can understand why a prison-certified ninja might not be too keen on the dark. might bring back “memories”.
Mentioning Rick Ross reminds me of that movie CB4 with Chris Rock.
I’m not really sure what gangstas are scared of, legit jobs?
*rapping* straight outta lo’cash!
A young ninja named Gusto!
“Cause I’m black ya’ll…I’m blacker and blacker and blacker, black ya’ll”
*eating big azz biscuit and that Geico commercial with that kid buttering the biscuit reminds me of CB4 and makes me holler*
Speaking on behalf of all gangstas * I get ratchet when necessary *, we have fears just like the man. I will catch a snake, fight a tiger, and lasso a bull,take candy from a baby and drop kick and elderly person without a second thought of repercussions but I don’t f*ck with roaches!! Something about them dirty lil creatures!
* I just have to say that reading this comment & then looking at your name just made me……pause……it just looks kind of GAY…NTTAWWT, kind of reminded me of Omar/thewire/gangsta/thug….that is all*
I’m a Virgin Thug…. I keep my “V
Card” on the same hip as my Burna.
Funny post. I love the picture. Good post to start the week off.
I read that article said educated black men want to be Big Meech. That was…a bit of stretch. I think educated men are afraid of being thugs actually. Not so much the jail thing, but the idea that a cop will kill you while unarmed during the point where you have decided not to be a thug anymore.
Conversely, the thugs that i know have a irrational fear of a 9-5. My boy’s boy told me that he didn’t want to know how ninjas could sit at a desk for 8 hours. He declared he would hustle till he died, rather than clock in somewhere. He mumbled something about he’s “freedom being threatened”. I spared him the inevitable jail speech.
But I maintain, Office Cafeteria Lunch break > Prison Yard Lunch Break, but I’m no thug.
I have a cousin who is the CERTIFIED gangsta in the family. I mean he’s that dude who’ll carry out a hit for a 40 oz and he DON’T DO mannequins or butterflies! I mean he’s the Avon Barksdale of the family and really does think he’s Larry Hoover.
I have never seen anything like it…we first learned of his butterfly fear when we were about 12 and we went on a school trip to a butterfly exhibit. There we were little ghetto kids all happy with butterflies landing on our heads and Lil Gangsta P from the Holy City (for my non-Chicago folks, that would be on the west side) was freaking out and wildly punching at the butterflies hovering around his head. He then zipped up his jacket all the way to the top and put the hoodie on so all you saw were his eyes and ran like Usain Bolt all the way to the other side and out the doors.
BTW—on a completely unrelated note…for those who have Direct TV they are now airing The Wire on T101 beginning with season 1.
that image is hilarious. lol
lmbaoooo……lawd
Too funny. My sis is afraid of butterflies but thinks I’m crazy for fearing bees (the huge bumble bees especially) I was like butterflies can’t hurt. You they just flutter about. Oh yeah and she plays with caterpillars. Go figure.
Thanks I missed the whole the wire phenomenon **hangs head in shame**. I’ll tune in.
@AQSOUL – i’m sorry, a thug arse vice lord scared of butterflies? LMAO.that is is priceless.
welcome and sh*t…i thnk
Exactly….So Big Mook on Cell Block H doesn’t scare you but the gangsta killer butterfly with the commando wings got you scared straight?
Hand over the top hat & cane immediately.
I’m mad he tried to punch a butterfly…silly rabbit.
BTW—on a completely unrelated note…for those who have Direct TV they are now airing The Wire on T101 beginning with season
Awww..I have comcast:(
Funny story tho!
“…for those who have Direct TV they are now airing The Wire on T101 beginning with season 1.”
Thanks for the heads up. I saw a commercial for this last night while watching Hav Plenty (an awesome movie if you don’t care about stuff like acting skills, plot, or budget). Apparently The Wire will air commercial-free… I’ll have to TiVo it so I can see if the hype is justified.
“I saw a commercial for this last night while watching Hav Plenty (an awesome movie if you don’t care about stuff like acting skills, plot, or budget)”
You watched that on purpose? *snickers*
I had heard that it sucked, but curiosity got the best of me. It was one of those things where you go in thinking “how bad could it be”, then once you see how bad it is, you’ve already invested too much time to not see how it ends. Next up, “Gigli” (S&M is for whimps!)
“how bad could it be”, I think we’ve all wondered that.
Gigli? Dayum homie, a shotgun would be quicker and much more humane…lmao
It is.
(an awesome movie if you don’t care about stuff like acting skills, plot, or budget)
Bwahahaha…
Gangstas are afraid of education and being straight edge of life. They complain about the injustices and having no options but when you present with the easy option they run away from it. . .
Bugs too! Lol. Gangstas stay gettin skirmish when they see a spider or even a ladybug. Lol.
“Like, keep me away from the edge of this two story building because I don’t want to die from falling off this lowscraper.”
*deaded* thank you for adding the term lowscraper to my life.
the song that immediately came to mind when i read this title was “this is that gangsta sh*t… 100 percent, certified gangsta sh*t…” …cause i’ma G.
i don’t know many gangstas (beside myself) but i am afraid of heights, especially heights over water. and let’s add water, large and small bodies of water, to that list.
cats are evil.
clown masks are too. i will not date a man with that laugh now/cry later clown face tattoo. no no no bueno.
i once knew a big burly gangsta guy who had a hairy situation going on on his back. i suggested he go get waxed and this man who has 2 bullets still chilling in his insides somewhere said that was the most excruciating thing he’d ever gone through and vowed to just be hairy from then on. or have some poor unfortunate woman shave it for him. wow.
@Muze
“i don’t know many gangstas (beside myself)”
This reeks of BS .
“small bodies of water”
How small? Bath tubs? Glasses? Shots?
How small? Bath tubs? Glasses? Shots?
Lord, kill me now…
“cats are evil.”
You know what’s the most evil thing about a cat? When they crouch under chairs waiting for you to walk past then jump out at your ankles. Thus, scaring the eff out of you…and making your ankles cry. WTF…what kind of creature would do such a thing?!
The debbil.
The devil is NOT a lie. He is a cat. I just think pure evil when I see cats. How they sneak and plot and hiss and snare. Hate all cats. If I had my way, all cats would be round up on a boat, sailed into the middle of the ocean and an atomic bomb would be dropped on them causing instant death. For the “gangsta cats” they would drown.
Cat problem solved.
I see VSB board mods are cat lovers…
moderate deez cat teets as I milk them
Gaylord Focker–”Oh yeah, you can milk anything that has nips”
(completely random response to being a bit peeved at being moderated) Carry on…
Ok, you just made my afternoon first by this awesome rant on what to do to cats to quoting Meet the parents.. bwahahahahaha!
hmmmm, let’s see , first of all PJ, I hope that “Dayquan” does not read this blog, otherwise, you are one dead VSB, cause here you are calling out a Gangsta for being scurred of thunder , and I for one would hate to see that and seeing as the only thing you changed was his name. Perhaps he does not read this blog though, cause another thing that they may be scared of………
*Reading, Books etc…..at least that’s what it sounds like with most of them, just sayin..#RIF
“hmmmm, let’s see , first of all PJ, I hope that “Dayquan” does not read this blog, otherwise, you are one dead VSB, cause here you are calling out a Gangsta for being scurred of thunder”
LOL… I was thinking the EXACT same thing
@bajanflchick – i aint scared of Dayquan. I’ll just make loud thunder noises around him and watch him go all b*tch. plus that ninja forgot my Sprite.
that’s right , how could I forget , you’re a gangster…who knows how to make thunder noises…i feel much better now…
@bajanflchick – i’m straight gangsta. i dont dance…i boogie.
Hilarious post….Don’t forget roaches and the dark. Some of these “thugs” sleep w/ the light on b/c of both. LOL!
I sleep with a night light. I have one in the hall way too…and I’m hard and gangsta. Word.
First of all, who da hell is a Big Meech? Rick Ross just remind me of that cousin who grew up nowhere near a hood but moved away when older and turned “gangster” and will do the dumbest ish just to prove a point. And I’on fux wit cats either (scoopin a litterbox out, no thanks). I’ve seen gangsters scared of hospitals and other medical offices. Besides visiting Grady to get a slug or two removed from their back, when was the last time u saw Black n nem in a waiting room for a checkup, or at family dentistry for a teeth cleaning.
@I’ll give it a try – Big Meech is the flamboyant half of the leadership team of BMF or the Black Mafia Family, a really large criminal enterprise that was raking in millions and millions of drug sales per year and responsible fot a lot of murders. Young Jeezy and Fabolous have ties to them. Big Meech is doing like a 30 year bid right now. They were running sh*t all over. Atlanta was a BMF hotspot and so was LA.
i actually know somebody, or knew somebody, who was murdered bc of their BMF involvement. Either way, in the criminal underworld of recent times, he was “that dude”.
I know you gots lots of nicknames, but I swear I’mma start calling you “Six Degrees of Separation”, Panama. No gay Will Smith.
@Cheekie – normally that wouldn’t be so odd considering my…”history” in a certain part of a certain city. however, this was a college chick i knew from spelman who was dating the wrong guy at the wrong time. its about as tragic a story as it can get.
Oh my gosh that’s awful! smh
Gangsta’s Irrational Fears (don’t know if they’ve already been mentioned; I didn’t read all the comments. Meh- kiss me I’m American.)
1. Clowns- I guess we can blame it on Stephen King’s It or the cheesy ‘Killer Klowns from Outer Space’. *shrug*
2. Teeny Tiny Spiders- You know those SMALL ones that you sometimes see in the corners or around the bathroom faucet (daddy long legs?)-those. I can understand not liking Black Widows or other larger spiders you may not be sure of, but a light, teeny, tiny spider? C’mon, son! Man up!
3. Legitimate Employment- there’s a fear of actually having to fill out an application for something or (gasp) having to get references. Shiver me timbers!
Gangstas are afraid of clowns. . . nope that’s just me.
Cats aren’t evil, just ungrateful and sadistic.
I agree with you about cats being sadistic and evil.
My cat is one of those things that can hold a grudge against a human, if you done something wrong.
I agree Champ. I know a few guys that have told me they’re afraid of cats. I mean straight up told me. That’s just weird to me. Actually I’m always surprised by the general dislike for cats period. But I grew up with one, so…
I think what is most disturbing is that I’m only afraid of one thing on this list. Mice
I’d like to add rollercoasters. Almost every guy I know is afraid of coasters. Now im not sure why you’d find a thug at Six Flags or Disney World, but if you did they’d be holding down a game or bench. I love theme parks and ride every ride, so the thought of a grown man all queasy at the thought of riding Tower of Terror is gay. Maybe this boils done to height, but I think it’s more than that.
Sorry Peej…I thought it was champs week.
Your name suits you huh?
@Alovelydai – shots.fired.
Lol. I wasnt lying…
Gangstas are afraid of wealthy white men.
Since power and over-baring personalities(and guns) are main things that gangstas use to intimidate people, it’s funny to see how all that is stripped away from the power asserted by a wealthy white guy. Now, of course, some gangstas will run up in the white man’s home to still some shyt, but they’ll definitely make sure he isn’t there. They’ll run up in another n*gga’s crib at any given moment though.
It’s also interesting to see how many gangstas hold their block down as if the street has their name on it, but when the white business tycoon starts knocking down projects to build condos, lofts, and eventually gentrify the neighborhood, gangstas are absent in trying to prevent this from happening. I swear, Donald Trump can roll up in the hood and n*ggas wouldn’t say shyt to him. Actually, they’d probably start kissing ass, rolling out the red carpet, and sayin’ shyt like, “Yo, Big Homie Trump…can you hook me up wit’ dat Omarosa b*tch?!”
N*ggas.
The moral of the story is…that white supremacy (multiplied by wealth) is no joke.
look man…i promised myself i wouldn’t say no more to have the gov’t up in the vsb world…..
and then you lay it out……
*fist up*
Adding to what a few others have mentioned, this fear of wealthy white men may also be a reason why gangstas tend to stay away from corporate job settings. They know who it’s ran by.
Looking at other situations:
*The most thugged out NBA players are easily kept ‘in check’ by commisioner David Stern.
*When it comes to street hustlers, they’re the ones who get busted for drugs…they’ll even snitch and give up names of others for lesser sentencing, but in no way will they point the finger at the white connect who gets the ball rolling in the scheme of things.
*Gangstas stay in their place in the hood and don’t venture out away from their comfort zone because they know rich white men will have their black a*s arrested, or lynched, or vanished ffrom the face of the earth. This is why they stay clear of white suburbia, upscale malls and restaurants, and travelling to destinations that aren’t the All-Star game, Essence Fest, and others that negros frequent.
*The U.S. Presidency – the President of the United States is one of the most “gangsta” positions a person can have…and even Barack is scared of rich white men and what they think to a great extent.
*Gangstas stay in their place in the hood and don’t venture out away from their comfort zone because they know rich white men will have their black a*s arrested, or lynched, or vanished ffrom the face of the earth. This is why they stay clear of white suburbia, upscale malls and restaurants, and travelling to destinations that aren’t the All-Star game, Essence Fest, and others that negros frequent.
I had a friend who wouldn’t come see me b/c you had to drive past cows. Mind you I lived in Baltimore County.
@Alovelydai – Mind you I lived in Baltimore County.
i’m sorry to hear that.
shots.fired.
How you gon’ fire shots after she just fired shots up at someone else above. What’s your name, karma or some ish? A mess. lmao!!
one……let me start by sayin..i am glad as hell to be back in Maine
dc hot as hell….balt…hot as hell…..jersey city…hot as hell AND stanky…
lil chuckies scare the sh!t outta me….and roller coasters…Phuck Hershey Park, Six Flags, Busch Gardinos….all them sh!ts
A few from the homies I know:
-Clowns. I have a homeboy who is definitely down to go see the commissioner, but he avoids clowns at all costs. Like the clowns you see in the mall handing out free balloons? One almost got stabbed.
And not only in person, he can’t handle watching a movie with clowns in it either. Not that he’ll up and run out of the room, but it makes him visibly uncomfortable.
And it’s hilarious.
-Spiders. I have a cousin that’s a six, seven (somewhere around there) time felon. He’s about 6’3, 200lbs, talks with the gruff of DMX, and inexplicably refuses to wear any type of foot wear that isn’t Timberlands (even in the summer). Also, he walks around with a kitchen knife tucked in his jeans. With tape on the handle.
Anyway, if he sees a spider he will absolutely flip. I remember one time he threw a chair at a daddy-longlegs. Funny because if I recall correctly, they don’t even bite. Even worse he’s the kind of dude that you can’t even laugh at because as stated earlier, jail means very little to him.
-Approaching women. This applies to numerous dudes I know, and it’s one I’ll never understand. How you can be completely comfortable with running up in a 7-11, and ordering everyone on the floor before emptying the register, but remain DEATHLY afraid of approaching women on the street? Even worse, these are the kind of cats that you’ll never be able to get into a club (though it’s probably a bad idea), because they “don’t want all these people looking at me and s***.”
One of the great mysteries of life.
Now that I think about it, how many of you know “thugs” that are terrified of their mothers? Dudes that can shrug at the judge giving them 1-3 but get upset to the point of tears when ma dukes yells at them?
@BDot
YAASSS!!!!!!!!!!
That is all. Carry On.
^Followed.
will follow back.
alyus. soul clap. ; )
@Keisha Brown
I follow Cheekie. What’s your twitter name?
“I follow Cheekie.”
Um, stop looking at my booty, Wu.
@Cheekie
***twirling mustache, shaking fist*** Curses! Foiled again!
@ Wu
im quiethaylestorm. who are you?
LOL @ checkin out cheekie’s cheeks.
@Keisha Brown
It’s @wu_young and @uphereoncloud9.
oooh oooh…and follow me too please. twitter is blocked at my job.
I would also like to be followed. To a place. Where we can be free.
SFG I got you. Cheekie, what’s your twitter name?
Oh, my sorry…
@pinchmycheekie
Gangstarr.
“The Man” has officially shut down my VSB access. Dayum.
Take a thug on a ropes course/zipline, all you would probably hear is, “Aww naw playa.. Naw cuz.”
I’ve had a dude tell me that cats were the original racists.
This made me spit out my coffee. My co-workers probably think I’m crazy with all this laughing. LOL.
Anyway, I’m not close to many gangstas, but I can imagine they are afraid of…
–Clowns
–White men
–Rainbows
–bright colors
–their mothers
–child support payments
–a real job/gainful employment
–spiders
–child support payments
No doubt. I know a Jamaican cat who puts $2 in his checking account every month on the 12th to be debited and counted as a child support payment. He’s a real winner this dude…his home country doesn’t even want him back for the stuff he’s done but he don’t want no problems w/ child support enforcement.
I listed the same thing: mom and spiders. This is very true.
On the low, I hate mimes. Not afraid of them. I just don’t like them. Like will-physically-confront-don’t like-them.
LOL… Mimes?-hahahaha… seriously tho they kinda piss me off too and I have NO IDEA why… I think it’s that stupid @ss expression on they face all the time… I just wanna slap ‘em
My sentiments exactly.
LOL Panama, dis sh!t was f!cking hilarious… My favorites:
I mean thunder lightning and women in stilettos. I peed a lil
“yo dog, I don’t do thunderstorms man. Like, you see what they do to trees??…” whaa?… and yet it makes perfect sense.
Like, keep me away from the edge of this two story building because I don’t want to die from falling off this lowscraper. smh, sadly I’m a lil afraid of heights… I think it’s a black thang.
I’ve had a dude tell me that cats were the original racists. no truer words have been written… I approve this message
To add to the list: I thought thugs were scared of leprecauns… is that true?
To that I will add Oompaloompas… I bet a lot a folks would be hella scared of them thangs if they just so happened to see one walking down the street or crawl up on them from under they kitchen table or somethin.
@Yeah…So – i was actually going to put leprechauns. i dont know why that seems to make so much sense but i envision the hardest cat on earth runnin’ like a lil ho at the site of a little green irishman.
I thought thugs were scared of leprecauns… is that true?
you ever saw Leprecaun in da Hood? Scary ish
Snoop made that movie with Leprachauns in the hood.. but then again…..
anything on BET is suspect…
So upset that I have seen the entire series…why black ppl???
You mean to tell me that grown black folk actually watch BET? Why?
You don’t watch BET?
In the words of Katt the Great “that is very unnigg@ly”
“To add to the list: I thought thugs were scared of leprecauns… is that true?”
This made me think of one thing and one thing only: the amateur leprecaun sketch.
O_O… please post a link. Thanks management.
Aw, sh*t. Prepare to have your Monday made:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nda_OSWeyn8
Cheekie WHY? WHY CHEEKIE? I died when dude in the army jumpsuit said dat sh!t was passed down from his grandfather… O_O and the sketch… THE SKETCH! (x_x)
“don’t be scared man, don’t be scared”- bwahahahaha
“Cheekie WHY? WHY CHEEKIE?”
Because I love you.
Roller coasters, or any machine operated attraction that will bend the theories of gravity & centripetal force.
My hubby will be standing under the big water bucket in Hershey this weekend watching everyone’s kids while the rest of us non-p*ssies hit the rides!!
It’s weird to me that I can hear this car screaming when I look at the picture..
@Ivy St. – i’m a gangsta b/c i’m now afraid of you.
And because you said so…now I can too. What do you hear? I hear a cat in heat.
It’s good to know someone else skipped their med this morning.
I hear more like a loud screech than a meow.
lol..what’s funny is that after reading your comment I scrolled back up in anticipation that I could hear it too. I’m slow.
What about mom? I know some “gangsta” dudes who turn into mush around their mothers. I even knew a dude who couldn’t swim and was scared of the ocean. (yes!)….and spiders. I saw a “gangsta” dude go ape ish, fighting the air and running over a spider.
and opossums. I had a friends who fell out of his chair (backwards) over an opossum. He let out some noise that we laugh at til this day. He lost all his hard points.
@SFG – whoa…possums are perfectly legit things to be scared of. i returned home one night at like 3am and there was a motherf*cking possum sitting at my front door. do you know what i did?
slept in the car.
i do not mess with possums.
LMBO!!! Them things are ugly. One got trapped in my house as a kid. You know what noise they make when their mad? Some wierd hiss that made me almost piss my pants out of fear. Effin ugly.
Good morning, milady. *hands SFG a cup of Starbucks Sumatran coffee*
Hope you had a good weekend.
You are right about gangsta dudes and their moms. They are even worse when it comes to their grannies. Best of example of it was a few weeks ago I was out in the country for a family gettogether and some of my cousins went to see my 90 year old grandmother. Two of my cousins were locked up multiple times, tatted up, had smoked a blunt earlier in the day and straight hood, but when we were saw my grandmother, they turned into mush, but then again, she turned all of her grandsons into mush. Possums are something to be scared, but I went to college in the country so I would walk across campus at 2 in the morning and see possums all the time. I would look at them, they would look at me and we go about our business.
LMAO @you and the opossum stare down. Yeah gangsta dude’s voice changes and er’thang around mama. It’s like you don’t even recognize them.
Oh sorry! I had an okay weekend. I got sick though. *cough*…lol
Aww. Hope you are feeling better.
“Possums are something to be scared, but I went to college in the country so I would walk across campus at 2 in the morning and see possums all the time. I would look at them, they would look at me and we go about our business.”
My college’s campus was about two blocks from the port so we had large rats. I thought I was used to big rats because I grew up on a farm but oh no. I’ve seen these suckers walk across power lines like squirrels and I’ve seen them scale brick walls. #ain’tnuthinnice
I’ve seen them running up walls too! That scares the cr@p outta me.
This whole post made me laugh.. Especially the “sky dropped in… women in stilettos..”
Gangstas are scared of:
Roller Coasters- “Nah dog.. I seent Final Destination 37568.. i don’t f*cks with coasters. AND white people run the contros.. Eff dat!”
Clowns- “the smile never moves. WTF is that!? I don’t trust a honky that always smiles..”
Boats- “the last time black people was on a boat, you seent what had happened.. I watched Amistad! I’ll eff somebody UP!”
What am I scared of..
I can eff with snakes and lizards, that’s fine.. but..
the “My buddy” doll.. Thank God I don’t babysit these twins anymore.. but that doll just reminds me of Chucky.. he stayed locked up in the closet and i was scared to take a nap for fear he’d be standing over me with a knife..
clowns- i don’t like them. i’m waiting for them to peel off their faces and them to be the Visitors from “V”. Plus, i don’t trust anything that can pile up more than 10 people in a car and no one is trying to sneak in the drive-in
balloons- i had one pop in my face when i was younger, it stung my face.. and i’m done.. don’t do the “squeaka squeaka” sound, i don’t want an animal. and no, i won’t blow it up.. (Pause)
cats- because basically, i don’t trust too many p*ssies in one area.. and i effs with egyptology a little bit, they guarded the underworld.. UH UH!! have you ever tried to train one!? Negatory!! Get thee away from mee!!
Honorable mention:
i’m not scared of roaches, but UGH!! they just NASTY!! don’t let one of them crawl across my hand unawares.. NUFF washing hands!!
and i believe i’m done…
All I have to say is…
I had a my buddy doll when I was a kid. And his name was Opie.
Damn I miss my dogs.
Roaches and Lizards…i can’t even look at lizards. I vacuum them suckers up straight murderororoy
@Nickerz..
LMAO!!
@ Boats & Amistad/Roots. I’m not a gangsta but you will NEVER catch me doing a boat cruise. I need land and a hospital. Ferries for short distances are cool.
@ Cats – actually if you get one as a kitten you can train them. All they want is love. Maybe that’s just the lioness (Leo’s to di worrrld!) in me.
the thing is.. i wanted a panther for a pet when i was younger.. a black panther too..
i have no problem with big p*ssies (OOH ULTIMATE PAUSE) it’s cats i have an issue with.. “love,” my a**
#LionsRoarrButIPurrToo
#AllLeoErrthang
@Cheekie
when’s ya bday girlie?
HERS IS WEDNESDAY!!!
What Nick said. *does the Roger Rabbit out of this thread*
@Cheekie,
woot woot!! any bday plans??
*wops it out at cheekie’s bday party.
or maybe i should be doing the dutty whine. *secures wig.
I went to a white party this past weekend. Planning some other shenanigans this upcoming weekend. And by “planning” I mean, I’m probably just gonna up and show up at the club my cousin promotes for.
@KB
Did you see that clip of the girl who lost her wig doin the dutty whine? LMAO…she get’s the ultimate fail. If you know you have a wig on…don’t do that!
@Cheekie: if you ever feel so inclined, come visit the Tdot for your bday weekend! So you know.. you me and a whoooole bunch of peeps can celebrate together! (Mine is next Tuesday officially).
@SFG: I did see that clip. You can wear a wig and dutty whine..but rass..make sure it’s pull my hair during chex secure!
@Nickerz
You are not alone. Michael jackson I have a soror that is deathly afraid of balloons. Which I thought was crazy until someone said she was locked in a closet full of balloons that started popping as a child. Then I sorta got it.
I somehow feel vindicated!!!
like my whole fear is valid!!
thank you much..
“she was locked in a closet full of balloons that started popping as a child.”
OMG why is that so f!cking hilarious to me? I feel bad
@Yeah…So – i’m with you. that is hilarious. thats like being afraid of socks cuz you got stuck in a closet as a kid and a box of socks fell on your head. THAT is an irrational ass fear.
LOL… shut up Panama! You are ridiculous… good point tho (my sides hurt)
it is not irrational.. them sh*ts STING!
Dayum, you evil. *cracks up*
I don’t feel bad…that isht is hilarious.
*or maybe I’m just evil.
I dunno why this reminds me of Kevin Hart’s “GET MY BABY OUT THEM KNATS” joke… too funny.
“and i effs with egyptology a little bit”
Which makes you cooler than everyone in my book. This brought back some “Cheekie from fourth grade” ish…I used to be OBSESSED with ancient Egypt. It’s still on my bucket list to visit there.
Ditto, Cheekie! I love Eqyptian history! I gotta see Hypostyle Hall!
I totally feel you on the Egyptology and guarding the underwold…plus, I saw Constantine when he looked in that cat’s eyes and hit the other side.
I hated those damn My Buddy dolls. Even creepier? The eff’n WuvLuvs.
So, since Panama Montanima is allegedly a gangsta, can we all assume that this list is actually the things HE is afraid of?
Yes.
@Cheekie – now you know better than that. i stare thunderstorms down like Lt. Dan. i murder mice. my old nickname was Murder Mickey. My cat’s name? Murder Mittens.
i’m gully.
You scared of me, tho. *cracks whip*
Everybody’s gotta be afraid of SOMETHING. I figure it’s because God has a pretty good sense of humor. “Oh you’re robbing old folks around the corner, huh? Ala kazam! Now fear bacon!”
Oh you’re robbing old folks around the corner, huh? Ala kazam! Now fear bacon!”
My sides hurt!
This is a funny post. Black people crack me up on how they are afraid of cats. I grew up having cats all my life and I love them. I love dogs, too, but I was never chased by cats. I do like a cat to sit in my lap and let me pet it like Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget.
Ni@@as is scared of the following:
Squirrels
Their moms
Loose pits/rottweilers
Snakes
Locusts
Crickets
Their grannies
Child support (The government can’t find Bin Laden, but they will find yo @ss if you own child support)
The IRS (Look at Wesley. Dude tried to go to Africa to avoid Uncle Sam)
Clowns, especially midget clowns
Their POs if they have a female PO ( I got a cousin that is a PO and she be hemming boys up)
Random 2520s in the hood (They are up to something. Something bad probably)
i imagined you stroking the cat (pause) like Dr Evil in the austin powers movies..
“Mr. Powers….”
i have no problems with snakes.. but then again, i’m hardcore.. LOL!
I think I dodged a bullet. I thought you were about to clown me bad about the cat thing. *Ducking for cover for next round of shots*
I don’t mess around with snakes, especially cottonmouths. They are the reason why I don’t go swimming in lakes and rivers.
“i have no problems with snakes.. but then again, i’m hardcore.. LOL!”
Snakes don’t bother me either. How do you feel about gators? I’ve seen them walk across my parents yard and they are a lot more proactive than snakes.
no issue with gators.. i live in florida, so i see them more than i’d like (driving to tampa).. but i might be singing a different song if one tried to chase me down..
OH! that reminds me!!
“I do like a cat to sit in my lap and let me pet it like Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget”
hmm…no comment.
*pictures SFG curled up in CBG’s lap while he… oh um.. never mind.
my brain is NOT focused on work this week. it’s all about the weekend shenanigans! (mostly i wanted to use the word shenanigans).
carry on.
petting kitties is awesome
“I do like a cat to sit in my lap and let me pet it like Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget”
*hmmm..no comment
*pictures SFG curled up in CBG’s lap while he..umm.. never mind.
carry on.
tee hee..
Don’t midget clowns scare everybody? 2520ville is the only place I’ve been to where people aren’t afraid of pits. Hell they’ll even pet other pit bulls. Pits are friendly around here….but straight killas in the hood.
That’s just how it is. When a pit lives in 2520ville, he lives in the lap of luxury most of the time. In the hood, they just trying to get by like everyone else. When you see one with no tags, no leash, no chain and it is coming in your direction, you know you need to run. Been chased by many in my day.
“I do like a cat to sit in my lap and let me pet it like Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget.”
O_O Petting cats Comic, really? You bring dis isht on yourself… I got a cat you can *looks for SFG* ehem cough, never mind.
Yeah, I really did bring it on myself, but hey, it’s EffAMonday, so it’s all good. And yes, I do like cats. I saw a dead kitten in the street the other day and I was hurt. Like really hurt. I fell asleep at my sister’s house one time on her couch and her cat straight laid in my lap and fell asleep. We were both chilling.
“fell asleep at my sister’s house one time on her couch and her cat straight laid in my lap and fell asleep. We were both chilling.”
*shivers* I can’t even look at you
Haha. I’m freaking them out on a Monday. This should be a good week.
After reading this exchange….yeah, it’s official.
Since we are on the topic of cats,….Today, I am officially changing “Comic Book Guy’s’ name to “The Pink Pander”.
It has been written.
CBG no more. The Pink Pander has risen.
Album in stores August 9th.
@SoBo…
I’ll buy the album.(if SFG lets me). hahahahahahahhaahaaaaaa
Dang am I this crazy controlling egirlfriend or something?
*holding pot of hot grits*…why ya’ll so scary?
No, no, of course. *Gently sets pot of hot grits down, singing a finger in the process*
You’re not crazy. I am actually getting used to the roofies and being hogtied has brought us closer together.
@SFG @CBG
“You’re not crazy. I am actually getting used to the roofies and being hogtied has brought us closer together.”
Y’all two n*****s need a hotel room for a weekend and a safe word.
@CBG
*eye twitch* it’s just they be messin wit me. glad to see you’re coming around. awwww
@Wu…i’m down if he’s down…:D
Y’all two n*****s need a hotel room for a weekend and a safe word
DEAD @ safe word.
@Keisha Brown,
Yeah, Wu Young cracked me up with “safe word”. All I could think about is the episode of Family Guy when Peter and Lois were dressed in black leather and she said “Remember, the safe word is ‘banana’”, and she zipped up Peter’s mask and knocked him to the ground. Hilarious.
*coming from around the corner with a pot of grits*
What you said Yeah So? Watch out now. lol
Oh hey girl *sees steaming grits* I was just leaving… bye! lol (I don’t want none with SFG)
“Their grannies”
Actually, if a gangsta don’t have a tough grandma, I don’t believe their gangsta-dom.
Owno…..Latarian Milton wasn’t scared on his granny (ther’s always a few exceptions to the rule). I’m wondering if we need to bring spiders, clowns, cats, and thunderstorms to scare that young brotha’ straight.
*there’s
“Owno…..Latarian Milton wasn’t scared on his granny (ther’s always a few exceptions to the rule). ”
True. That lil’ kat is certified.
Mmm, yeah, he’s an exception in every sense of the word. lol
@ComicBookGuy – I do like a cat to sit in my lap and let me pet it like Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget.
this admission is about 83.2 percent gay
I believe Uncle Ruckus summed it up best when he laid out the things n*ggaz are afraid of.
“A whip. A noose. A nightstick. A branding iron.
These things strike fear into a n*gga’s heart: A job application.
Avoid conversation with a n*gga. The n*gga will lie. The n*gga will make excuses. He will use words he don’t really know. If he gets really desperate, he may start to rap,…or dance.
Oh, yeah……there’s powerful n*ggotry at work here.
Read n*gga, Read!!!”
you’re RIDICULOUS with this one right here.. LMAO!!!
that’s hilarious!!
Ah hahahahahahaha! That’s a good one. I’m still laughing at you.
@SoBo…deceased at 11:58am.
LOL… sounds like you’re having an interesting morning.
oops afternoon
@ Panama re: I am Malcolm X tag – Have you heard Lupe’s BMF remix over that beat? If not, google it, I think it’s worth a listen. Love it. Love him. That is all.
@k-steez – i did listen to it. his hook was dope but like most Lupe songs..it falls apart after that. i realize i’m about to start WWIII but Lupe is SO overrated. my goodness i dont get his appeal. he’s a good rapper…but man is he boring.
Maannn.. Ur lucky I misplaced my tank..
I haven’t read all the comments yet, but I remember some guys were scared of insects, and spiders. Now, I don’t like them either. I especially do not like spiders. However, being single I have learned to woman-up, take a deep breath and commit spider-cide. No, I am NOT shoo-ing it into a napkin or cup to release outside (if it escapes and crawls on my person it would be ova’!). Plus, my rule is if I see you outside, you get to live. If you come in my house, you gotta go! I can’t sleep knowing you crawling and spinning your web….That said, I have seen insects come around and this dude screamed and got ghost… Like climb a chair and call for their momma scared.
I have known self-proclaimed hardcore dudes to dislike cats and threaten to put a cat in a hefty bag.
Also, when the Cicadas woke up and took over DC/MD/VA, that was some fear fo’ yo’ azz! The sound alone and swarms of them *cringing*
lmfao @ the cicadas! Mayne, I was DREADING them coming to the Chi (what was it…like 3 yrs ago?). I must’ve didn’t really remember last time they were here, but I heard horror stories about them covering the entire sidewalk where you couldn’t avoid stepping on them (and I have OCD tendecies about stepping on nasty ish), how they mofos can’t fly right because they JUST got here. Needless to say, it wasn’t as bad as that time…there weren’t as many. I still hate them mofos. Flying into you and ish. And it sucked because I walked to work.
@Cheekie,
Yes, Gurl! People crashed their cars because a cicada was in the car with them. I heard one in my car when I got in it to pull off and could start up and drive until he (the cicada) was found and released or dealt with. I heard the rustling sound in my car and knew something wasn’t right…
“Also, when the Cicadas woke up and took over DC/MD/VA”
LMAO
Folks was scared of Cicadas? Wow….lol That’s a regular summer night sound staple down here.
Real talk. In Dallas, crickets are just ending their swarming time for the summer. From late may to late July, crickets take over the damn city, especially bus stations. It’s a smorgasbord for pigeons, but it ain’t that many birds.
They weren’t regular ol’ cicadas. There’s were millions per square acre/mile. Like clusters of them hanging around the gas pumps when you had to fill up (like covering the gas pump). Clusters hanging around the drive-thru window at Mc Donald’s. Swarms of them taking to the air and the air was filled with the buzzing, rustling sound. Think of Alfred Hitchcok’s the bird’s but with 2 inch long, flying bugs with red heads. It happen’s in DC/MD/VA every 10-15 years.
Oh, and clown’s……Gangsta’s will blaze one and discuss how they don’t eff’ with clowns.
My certified “gangsta” coworker *snicker* said he’s scared of the weave drawer…you know the drawer where women keep their weave? smh
This is true.
Seeing unhinged weave is some scary sh*t.
Looks like roadkill….except the fur stil has its sheen and luster.
Thats some real scary n*gga sh*t right there indeed.
I would be too. Like imagine if you open that mofo looking for some condoms or some ish and racoon back hair jumps out at you.
Funny thing is I have one and that sh!t scares me too… soooo vierd.
@ Yeah…So – Keyboards don’t like you huh?
Actually I meant vierd… Austin Powers reference
*side note* You RUDE! lol
Lmao…ya’ll are preachin to the choir as I don’t wear weave but I’ve seen em…hangin from the door etc. This guy is white so that really had me smh. lol his white girl has a weave drawer too.
The only thing I know that is a universal fear amongst hood dudes and gangstas are rats and possums. I knew a dude that was running from the cops and jumped in a bush where there were rats. When he saw the rats he jumped out and let the cops arrest him. I don’t f**k with rats. Maybe it’s an inner city thing? IDK. I could be wrong but it seems lime the rats in northern cities seem to take steroids.
I live in BedStuy and I have a big dog, a German Shepherd, and all the gangstas are terrified of her. They will leave the sidewalk and walk into the middle of the street risking getting hit by a car to avoid us.
The other thing dudes are afraid of around here is raccoons!!
Ok you can’t be playing around with raccoons or oppossums. Those are rats with nothing to lose. They can and most certainly will fight you for no other reason than to see you scream and run off like a punk bish. I don’t mess with them. Thugs only survival method is to shoot. If you tried to shoot one of them before the bullet would be out, the raccoon would be on your face…
Yeah and when they fight they go straight for the face. Anyone with any sense should be scared for anything that goes straight for the face. Even a 3 like Panama should be afraid for his sexxiness.
Y’all talkin’ like y’all had run ins with or lost one of your homies to these creatures..
“He was brave, kind, and sweet.. And f*k raccoons!”
i know that’s the proper spelling, but something about “opossums” made me lol.
I used to pronounce the ‘o’ all the time as a kid out of ignorance (different from ignance). I think I’m gonna start back doing that for kicks. Out of ignance this time.
Too add to this growing list of irrational and odd gansta fears:
* Responsibility
* Books & anything related to intellectual development
* A bad spades hand
* Collared shirts
* Smiling
* Acting like an adult
* Every type of hat except baseball caps and scullys
* Doing the ‘right’ things
* Living past age 25
*cackling at the last one*
too funny… can we just add:
*Pants that fit PROPERLY
they are definitely allergic to smiling.
Don’t forget this one:
* Their own kids
i couldn’t remember it this morning.. but my biggest fear involves me being hunted..
i’m not talking about “oh, he wants me so bad, hunted” i’m talkin the “predators in the forest.. minority report” style of being hunted..
almost every nightmare i’ve ever had involves me being backed up into a corner and someone is trying to pry into somewhere trying to get me.. or i’m running in the rainforest and the predator is chasing me down..
FML…
The Most Dangerous Game
Sounds pretty adventurous and exciting if you ask me.
i am tee hee’ing at the following
the ads by google on top of the pic are as follows:
dog problems
dog diarrhea
dog infections
dog problems.
that is all.
Dogs got it hard, huh? That’s why the good Lord made Kibbles N Bits.
Unfortunately, most of your readers missed the point, P. I agree, if you aint scared of a goon-filled block at 3:30 a.m. you aint got no business being scared of sh*t, especially not thunderstorms or ladybugs! FOH!
Unfortunately, most of your readers missed the point, P. I agree, if you aint scared of a goon-filled block at 3:30 a.m. you aint got no business being scared of sh*t, especially not thunderstorms or ladybugs! FOH!
it makes sense that these are “thug fears” they are things that are not intimidated by their thugdom, things that they cannot control (aside from the marionettes and puppets,, that shyt is just creepy)
so they fear that which they cannot intimidate and control an unusual circumstance for a thug who lives his life causing fear and intimidation.
No point was missed. Everyone is simply having fun with the subject matter within the post. Things aren’t so rigid here on VSB.
I am afraid of all of those things.
and jack in the boxes
I told yall i was GANGSTA!!!
everyone has fears, but guess what I aint afraid of?
throwing them thangs!
(… was that gangsta? LOL)
You shut this ish down, shay-d-lady.
Oh sh!t! I can’t believe we forgot bees!
I’m afraid of wasps more.
@Yeah So
I don’t know but the way you typed it with excitement has me laughing! Yes bees, wasps, hornets all them stingers will make me sprint like Usain Bolt
O.O (my face while typing)
the dark night.
i dated a thuggery-type dude who acted all big and bad when we were in our city. we went to a mardi gras ball in new orleans and this stupid a*s fool almost had a fit when–coming back from the ball at like midnight, we had to walk the dark streets of new orleans. he kept tellin me to hurry up and stop playin because we might be killed or robbed. he even threatened to leave me when i stopped to adjust my cute, painful shoes. now um…i realize that we must all act like we have some sense when it comes to dangerous environments. and i do also understand that it gets pretty real in new orleans sometimes. but i was looking at dude like, “really? REALLY!? hell naw.” i mean, what’s the point of being a fake thug if you just gone be scared of the other fake thugs? #b*tcha*ssnessfail
this has me laughing my tail off. Funny ish
also, i too am afraid of cats. they can open doors and jump on ceiling fans and climb walls and ish. cats make a lifestyle out of doing the most. why is that acceptable?
@Charli Skipper
Just hilarious. I wish I weren’t giggling at work about this.
This is exactly why I don’t like them hairy mofo’s. Cats be on some other isht.
This has nothing to do with the topic, but I HAVE to VENT!!! Can somebody please… please tell me WHY my office manager @ my place of employment had the NERVE to get an attitude with me because I kindly asked her to to file for a Tax I.D.# ( by the way this is her responsability)! Simply because she has a heavy work load today (because she isnt the quickest person in the office althought she is very detailed oriented) , she felt that it was in her right to huff and puff upon my request. Then after the wench did the job i requested for her to do, she had the audacity to throw the shyt on my desk! WTF? I know da hell she didn’t! VSS’s it took everything in me to count to 10 and whoo-saah, before I went sterotypical on dat azz! I kindly asked her to go home for 2 days without pay so that she could give herself an oppertunity to consider wether or not she thought her job was too much to handle. I have NEVER in my life been so blatently disrespected in the work place EVERRRRRRRR…. I’m still on edge about it. I have said about 3 prayers for myself to consider her family and the value of her employment to her family… Yall just don’t know… BAD DAY AT WORK!
Solution: You coulda had a V8.
@Lanieanna
congrats on not
committing homicide
on not getting all angry black woman on her
did i mention committing homicide? or even manslaughter?
woosah.. it’s 4:43pm. hope your day ends soon!
have said about 3 prayers for myself to consider her family and the value of her employment to her family… Yall just don’t know… BAD DAY AT WORK!
you a good one, I cant care no more about your livlihood or family than you do.
when I first entered management i was “cool” i wanted to help everyone i didnt want to fire anyone, i truly believed if giving the opportunity and the assistance needed to succeed thats all it would take.
Wrong (charlie murphy voice)
Now I have had the least amount of turnover for the past 3 years and ive only had to fire a few people but got dayumit, those mofos deserved it i mean they made me realize that there are people that dont give a dayum or get used to you accepting that bullshyt.
huff and puff yo *ss to the unemployment office ..
Off-topic @Shay-d-lady
Remember you’re never given anything you can’t handle… Sometimes we’re challenged to prove to ourselves we can handle it.
Sorry to intrude but this is public, so… Having been listed as a defendant in a lawsuit for slander and defamation of character in the past, (which didn’t stick of course, I’m silver-tongued) and in a funny way made me feel very adult… Only grown folks get sued, right?
Anyway, I’ve a good friend who’s an amazing employment attorney, and she advised me early to be careful what I said because those cases are so easy to win. Especially in small claims court where you can’t have an attorney defend your case.
So, I’d suggest, even though you’re under a pseudonym and haven’t named her you maybe be extra careful? Best of luck, peace, and stillness be yours.
I LOVE cats, graceful and stealth, extremely cool customers, cloaked in mysticism pertaining to other realms …so I hope no one in here talmbout about the tabbies, with BIG cat tattoos and fetishes o_O..they are all in the same fam…..me part Tigress btw LOL
I made mention of this topic in another post, but I’ll repeat myself.
I don’t trust people who are afraid of cats and here’s why:
A long time ago, I had heard a old wives tale/superstition/belief that cats were the animals that carry souls into the afterlife. I also hear that cats also protect their owners from evil spirits and demons.
Also, every person I know that is afraid of cats turns out to be evil-a$$ people.
#1 is hilarious and we must live near each other because I definitely had the same Dominoes pizza man last week and was thoroughly confused by the Dodge Magnum, clearly a front lol.
This is hilarious b/c it’s true. How can you not fear gang rape on the yard, yet be deathly afraid of a mouse. Your thug card has just been revoked, LMAO. And i feel you on the marionette/ventriliquist puppet thing. They freak me the hell out. But then again, I’m no thug, I get to be scared of random ish
Since I was a little girl, I always had a cat. I love cats, I prefer them over dogs. People who have a fear of cats are the type of people that I don’t trust.
I have an uncle, who can be label as an tough guy/thug/O.G., and he is afraid of cats. When I say “afraid of cats”, my uncle is afraid of cats to the point where he will jump on a chair or (from a past experience) will try to shoot one, if a cat comes near him. Whenever my uncle visits my home, I have to place my Calico inside of the pantry closet while he is here. I have to admit, it is hilarious to see a man (who is 6’5, weighs about 250 and has a intimidating demeanor) stand on a chair because he is afraid of a cat named Midget.
Thugs are scared of books more than anything.