Building The Perfect (Wo)Man

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“So basically, all women want a 6’4”, God-fearing, well-endowed, faithful (ha!), funny, brolic, charcoal-skinned neurosurgeon/hedge fund manager from the Newark slums. Oh, and he can’t own a Dodge Charger either. Anything but a Charger”

—a conglomeration of every comment left by each and every man in this week’s “The Short End Of The Stick: Women, Height Preferences, and Hypocrisy” and “The 10 Men You Should Never, Ever, Ever Consider Dating”

“We women just can’t win. We were already too tall or too short, too thin or too fat, too smart or too stupid, and too chaste or too cock-hungry, too independent or too marriage-minded. Now, we can’t even ask for a man who’s not a midget? You men are lucky I hate the way p*ssy tastes, because if I didn’t, I’d be L-Wording it up right now, word to Jennifer Beals”

—a conglomeration of every comment left by each and every woman in this week’s “The Short End Of The Stick: Women, Height Preferences, and Hypocrisy” and “The 10 Men You Should Never, Ever, Ever Consider Dating”

Since it’s obvious that absolutely no one is winning in this dating game — and since I’m an altruistic and magnanimous motherf*cker — I’ve decided to clear the slate. Today, we’re all going to start from scratch. Well, we’re gonna sort of (but not really) start from scratch. (Actually, what we’re going to do today isn’t “starting from scratch” in the slightest, but since I couldn’t think of a more suitable idiom, “starting from scratch” it is!)

Here’s the deal: Between our height, hair, complexion, class, “swag,” and sexiness issues, we  — black men and women — are filled with enough standards-of attraction-based angst to choke a team of walruses, and we need a little catharsis; a purging that’ll allow us to bury our ghosts of standards past once and for all.

How exactly will we do this? Well, this is our day to be as shallow, superficial, silly, self-centered, and selfish as possible, without any fear of judgment, side-eye, or throat-punches. The task? Build your “perfect” man or woman from scratch, taking favorable attributes from others (famous or not) to create your own personal Freakinstein.

You want your woman to have Esther Baxter’s body with Esther Rolle’s self-esteem? Fine! Does you man need to be packing pipe like Lex Steele, stacking dough like Mark Zuckerberg, and cracking jokes like Chocolate Drop? Great! Be my guest! Funny like Angela Nissel, fine like Angela Bassett and freaky like Angela Lansbury? (Don’t front like you didn’t know why the show was called “Murder She Wrote.” Three words: Angela’s killer p*ssy.) Great!

Your Freakinstein has no time-constraints, either. If you want, say, Pam Grier’s nipples in 1972 on circa 1930′s Lena Horne’s breasts, go right ahead! Richard Roundtree’s shaft, George Gervin’s fingers, and Kunta Kinte’s limp? Perfect!

The cathartic carpet is yours!

—The Champ

If you haven’t purchased the paperback or the $9.99 Kindle version of “Your Degrees Wont Keep You Warm at Night: The Very Smart Brothas Guide to Dating, Mating, and Fighting Crime” yet, what the hell is stopping you?

1,108 thoughts on “Building The Perfect (Wo)Man”

  2. My perfect woman? Well, there’s no perfect, but if I were to go all Dr. Frankenstein… I’ma be back in the morning. This is gonna be a hell of a comment day.

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    • Agreed. This is gon take a hot minute to construct. The possibilities are endless. Argh…too many choices. Where to begin?

      BTW…welcome n sh*t to the top half of ur face on the avi front! :)

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    • you really stay trying to make the comments a kmart layaway, huh? your black card does not have this line of credit, sir. we gonna need you to pay up now and stop incurring a comment debt.

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    • Well Bumilla, you’re in luck. I got to thinking about it and can’t sleep when I’m thinking that hard.

      Okay. What would my perfect woman be like? First and foremost she has to be smart. I don’t need another Marie Curie or anything, but someone that can keep up with me as I jump from my favorite TV shows, to politics, to financial planning, to whatever crazy crap happened at the hospital on any given day.

      She has to be able to laugh. I’m a little bit of a smartass, and one of the sexiest things a woman can possess is quick wit. Conversational jousting = intellectual foreplay. Not to mention, a woman that takes herself too seriously is just not attractive to me. She has to have drive and ambition. What do you want out of life? Now what the hell are you doing to get there. I don’t care what degree you have or how many letters come after your name. Are you doing what makes you happy, or are you too busy trying to impress people.

      Ok… looks. This is tough. I mentioned before, I’m a sucker for legs. I also a sucker for a pretty face, a nice smile, and did I mention legs? I’ve messed with uber-pretty women as well as the girl-next door types. Being Beyonce fine or Rihanna pretty doesn’t mean everything but that don’t mean I’m blind. Especially if she has a sense of entitlement just because of how she looks. GTFOH! #NoCountryForPrincesses Looks will get my attention, but it’s your personality (read: act right) that’ll keep me interested.

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  4. If you could combine all of my 23 imaginary husbands into one, you’d have him. In terms of the perfect woman…um…would it be self centered to say that I’d totally hit that in reference to myself?

    But yeah, all jokes aside, I think I gave up on the idea of creating the perfect man with shallow ish, because trust, my type is gorgeous and packing phenotypically (just saying, don’t judge). But I would totally go nuts for a nerd smart man who likes to socialize. You read books, you watch the NFL and drink booze, you’re my kind of guy. Unless you read Steve Harvey books. Then there’s no helping you.

    True story: Meet this guy who talks about how much he loves to read. On our first (and only) date, I ask him what books has he read recently, and who are his favorite authors, and he goes “well, I tend to only read Dr. Seuss and Shel Silverstein books”.

    Diva knows how to pick em.

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    • …I should also mention that you (perfect amalgam of 23 imaginary husbands Frankenstein person guy man) should have a life plan and actively be trying to achieve it. There is nothing sexier than a man with goals (within reason…your goal shouldn’t be to be the kinpin drug lord of Willocouchee, GA).

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      • There is nothing sexier than a man with goals (within reason…your goal shouldn’t be to be the kinpin drug lord of Willocouchee, GA).

        LMAO!

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      • Within reason?? Heck… I’m aiming for that Bruce Wayne wealth. Everyone else be damned. Get out the way… LOL!!

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    • “well, I tend to only read Dr. Seuss and Shel Silverstein books”.
      lmao!

      Been there so often they know me on a first name basis; you haven’t lived until a guy tells you the last thing he read was a tweet from (__insert rapper’s name here__). That, my diva, is how you pick em.

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    • “well, I tend to only read Dr. Seuss and Shel Silverstein books”.

      Please tell me he had kids he was reading to.

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    • hmm…real talk, have you ninjas read a Dr. Seuss book in a while? them joints are mad deep and are perilously descriptive about the human condition and struggle. they weave tales of maligned citizenries and power struggles.

      i liken them to the message Ayn Rand was trying to get across in Anthem.

      for instance, Green Eggs & Ham. that’s not about eggs and ham. heavens no. it’s about the freedom of choice, religion, speech, and life. it’s about prosperity and sticking the middle finger to the man and letting him know that you will NOT be subject to Cold War-era practices of communism if you don’t want to. i do not like green eggs & ham.

      BUT…the twist is that the mind’s rebellion feature could be a misguided attempt to keep us from our own happiness for Sam DOES like Green Eggs & Ham. he just didn’t want anybody to know b/c he didn’t know for sure himself. communism with a socialist democratic bent proselytizing and evangelical methodology is not only ideal for the mosquitos of Mali, it’s really what life is all about.

      i do not like green eggs & ham though.

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      • Liz I was thinking more along the lines of “That’s why I love Peej!!!!” lol :)

        I loooooove some Dr. Seuss books, for the same reasons he so eloquently stated above. My favorites are The Sneeches and The Lorax. I really do think about Dr. Seuss books regularly in terms of society, politics, and pop culture. Oh, the one with the turtles, thats anotha fave too.

        All that being said, you still get a serious side-eye if that’s ALL you read.

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        • If brevity is the soul of wit, then Dr. Suess was a genius MF. He colorfully conveyed messages with the least words possible.

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        • I Love Dr. Seuss as well and thanks Panama and Liz for expanding the lenses in which I look at Dr. Seuss books. Two Thumbs Up.

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        • Yertle the Turtle is such a great story! Dr. Seuss wrote it in protest of Fascism.
          Shel Silverstein also has some profound works for children and adults alike…however, if that’s all you’re reading, you’d better be studying pedagogy and preparing to write children’s books.

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      • Get em.
        The second greatest obstacle a woman faces when searching for her lesser half is her own preconceptions. The first is realizing that even without him she was never incomplete.

        - The Ying Yang twins, XXL Magazine

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        • I seriously underestimated the Ying Yang twins….for them to say something like that and still put out party up in here type music…thats fairly level headed and deep as an approach to relationships from a Womanist perspective.(Not that womanist is an actual term but feminist….blah, y’all get it).

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      • Is this the trillion dollars that Obama was speeching about?

        I LOVE words. Hit me baby one more time. Britney.

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      • DEAD @ pj’s dissertation of green eggs and ham.
        i will say that i love oh the places you’ll go!!
        And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed!
        (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.). Kid, you’ll move mountains!

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      • As a Green Eggs & Ham karate expert (yo that is my favorite Seussian joint), I’m in love with this comment.

        BTW, IHOP had Green Eggs & Ham recently when one of those Dr. Seuss joints were out. I think it was for “Horton Hears A Who.”

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      • This comment is the reason I love this site. I can’t even… man… I’m seriously thinking about going back and re-reading “The Cat In The Hat Comes Back” from a neo-liberal marxist perspective… And maybe from a Black Feminismist’s perspective. So many Dr. Suess Books… so little time…

        It’s great that other people think like this, but I’m mad that I don’t know any of them in person. I’ve got to get out more… Any Black people hanging out in Los Angeles this weekend? No? Alright. Catching up on Professor Jackson’s Dr. Suess readings, then.

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      • Well dang…. guess it was the pictures that blindsided me from the genuine annotation of his books. I felt that there was something more, but I was soon cajoled to ignore it and only believe Green Eggs & Ham to be ONLY about….. Green Eggs & Ham. Damn. :|

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    • “I ask him what books has he read recently, and who are his favorite authors, and he goes “well, I tend to only read Dr. Seuss and Shel Silverstein books”.

      this actually was a great answer.

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  5. I will wait till everyone has finished creating their perfect match and then clone the one I like the best.

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  6. i want the record to reflect that this is a terrible idea as it is going to result in a lot of shade, shenanigans, and general side-eye being bandied about. weren’t you guys going to try to get some of us to date each other?

    that said, i will be looking important while checking my google reader on my crackberry throughout my all day training seminar tomorrow. it might be interesting to see what some folks, say TheRealestLeo, Obsidian, and Sage of Silence, will build. *inserts michael jackson thriller popcorn gif*

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    • I thought the same thing.

      *sits down next to bumilla and shares her popcorn…and opens a bottle of moscato to share as well.

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      • my girl! thank you for noting that this viewing party is BYOB. LOL.

        *unpacks solo cups, spare bottle of riesling*

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      • Lol I thought this too. I’m gonna go against the topic and describe a time this guy who looked like the complete opposite of my perfect guy ended up getting me. Hopefully this is a feel-good story.

        He wasn’t ugly, just very average looking. And about an inch shorter than me (gasp!) I was always getting comments from girls like “He’s nice, but you could do way better than that!” Sure I could have, physically, but this guy mind-fxcked the sh!t out of me lol. The first conversation we ever had, he basically broke down my personality and described it to a T, all based off observations of me from afar. It sounds creepy, but he did it in a kind of gradual way, as things came up in the convo. It was actually kind of hot. We became cool with each other, and we would always end up having these long, deep conversations. Every day we talked, he made me think about something I had never thought about before. And he wanted me so bad, it was almost palpable; lol spend enough time with someone like that- who you actually like as a person- and you start to consider making their dreams come true. Long story short, I ended up falling for him. We were only together a couple months because this was the spiritual guy I mentioned before, who was semi celibate (oh, and to the person who accused me of date raping my boyfriend, I swear to you I’m not a rapist lol. I don’t listen to THAT much hip hop ;) I would just do sexual stuff to him until he couldn’t take it anymore, and then he would initiate the sex). Anyway, we ended largely because I didn’t have enough discipline.

        I said all that in response to this–> “Here’s the deal: Between our height, hair, complexion, class, “swag,” and sexiness issues, we  — black men and women — are filled with enough standards-of attraction-based angst to choke a team of walruses.” This is true, but all the angst is really unnecessary. Non-perfect guys can pull high caliber chicks, and vice versa (yes, I have seen this happen with women too. Okay one woman, but still). Hopefully this keeps people from getting too salty or down on themselves today.

        By the way, my perfect guy is the one I’m with now. Smart, sweet, sexy, and strong- both mentally and physically- among other things. Don’t gag lol.

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          • Yeah, if I was a good writer I could have made that better. You got the point, though: perfect shmerfect.

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    • i want the record to reflect that this is a terrible idea as it is going to result in a lot of shade, shenanigans, and general side-eye being bandied about. weren’t you guys going to try to get some of us to date each other?

      naw, a terrible idea is really invoking the “useless without pictures” doctrine that comes up every so often when folks start getting real froggy with their wants/dont wants/wont’ deal wits/this is why i’m hots. that would be a bad idea.

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    • “i want the record to reflect that this is a terrible idea as it is going to result in a lot of shade, shenanigans, and general side-eye being bandied about”

      thanks!

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    • I know I’m late, but thanks for mentioning me in such a way.

      To answer your inquiry, I haven’t dealt with enough decent women in the real world to be able to dream up what my ideal one would be like. Besides, over the past week or so, I have come to an even better conclusion that I am not physically what most women want, anyway, so why waste dreams? (I’m not Morton’s about it, though. I’m used to it by now. LOL)

      And I’m leaving it at that.

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  7. Well let’s see…

    I’d like a man who was kind-hearted and respectful of others unless outright disrespected. An intelligent man (maybe even smarter than me since I’ve yet to meet one of those yet :) ) who I can talk to and learn things from. Understanding and patience is a must; I spook very easily and am actually very shy when I’m into someone. A man who’s not afraid to fight me if he thinks I’m wrong (verbally not physically). A guy with both feet on the ground and set goals as I tend to get a little flighty when spooked and I’m a bit of a dreamer and will need grounding every now and then. Creativity would be nice in any manner (cooking, photography, painting ect.). Similar values, but not exactly the same or I think I’d get bored.

    Looks? Well…ever since I saw Barbershop I’ve had a lifelong crush on Ricky (Michael Ealy). It’s in the eyes. He’d look something like that. He could be darker or lighter, have brown eyes or green eyes, but the structure would be exactly like that…he’s gotta be able to lift me though cause that turns me on so I can get him to lift me when I need things off a high shelf.

    I hope that doesn’t sound like a lot…because to me that sounds like a lot o_o

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  8. The guy with the dreads from the Tyler Perry movies, with slightly shorter dreads, Idris Elba’s swag and English accent.

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  9. Idris Elba.

    Oh, I gotta get creative? Aight, bet.

    The kneegrow must have Idris’ voice, Denzel’s sexy lazy eye, Donald Glover’s witticisms, Calvin Klein’s scent, Conan O’Brien’s sense of humor, Boris Kodjoe’s smirk, Reggie Bush’s body, Cornel West’s penchant for talking with his hands (shiiiiiiet, this ninja is a conductor with his hands), Jay-Z’s power/influence, Donald Trumps bank account, A goodfella’s potty mouth, Obama’s poise, and Jesus’ juice.

    Or should I have said “Panama Jackson?” The world may never know. Fin.

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    • Or should I have said “Panama Jackson?” The world may never know. Fin.

      awww, cheekie, when is he going to make a proper lady of you? :)

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      • aww.. that is cute, ms. cheekie (btw.. your comments are alway spot-on and hilarious, and i hit your blog sometimes too, but i dont want to be too informal til invited to be so) anywhoo.. i’m finally up late enough to play before there are 925 comments and anything i have to add is irrelevant at best.. and i’m bummed!! i’m at work, and will be here for the foreseeable.. (super uber extra late night for me)

        the topic is really perfect too.. cuz if i could take 1/4 of my last 4 exes, i’d really be able to construct my perfect man. but alas, so unless i want folks to be rollin’ in at 7am while i’m still sitting here bedraggled looking like yesterday and they’re all showered and fresh looking like tommorrow, i’m going to have to come back in the mornin’.

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        • Hey Monique! Thanks for the love, girl. No formalities necessary! (unless you nasty) We is family! *hugs*

          Does that mean I shall call you “Mo?”

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          • so.. i had to sneak back real quick, see what sort of shenanigans already ensued since i was having a moment of writers block anyway.. but to your question, i can be convinced (with respect to the nasty part… just dont tell my momma… she’s jamaican after all and there is no age to old where you can’t get a beatin’ in an ol’ jamaican household).. my people call me a lot of things i’d answer to.. ms. sassafrass (my girl calls me that, cuz i guess she thinks i’m sassy?) niquita banana (my auntie) mo’nicki (its been done) or moni-q or q (that was a high school moment) or nickalee76 (twitter calls me that) or that-girl-who-is-working-way-too-late-since she-got-here-at-7.30am-so-this-isht-better-be-worth-it-or-i’m-going-postal-up-in-here.. along those lines :)

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    • Amazing, because before I said Josh Freeman, it was Reggie Bush’s body that came to mind, and you see I have Obama in mine too…

      And yes, PJ would have been the correct answer.

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    • And if I wanted to get eCreative on yo arses… The perfect e-man (VSB STYLE) would have a bit of…

      B. Brown’s chilvary, Sobo’s sarcasm, Champ’s gift for alliteration, Humble One’s mysteriousness, Medium Meech’s humor, Panama’s pop culture knowledge, Calleberoso’s (I’m working off late night non-spelling ability here lol) sincerity, DG’s one-liners, TwiSM’s lower face, DQ’s pensive thoughts, ComicBookGuy’s sweetness, Mr Sank’s cool laid back ways, Eddie Brock’s arms, Ten10inch’s um…ya know (where he at, doe?!) and Obsidian’s… enthusiasm?

      Yup, that’s just a few. I’m sure I can add more when I turn my brain on tomorrow…

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          • Okay…. that’s it! I’m banning myself from reading another one of your comments this nite/early morn!
            *smh*
            You just too much, Cheeks. :)

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          • I’m saying. I bet I ain’t the only one who thought that if he can last that long typing comments then…

            Ha! He makes me a little randy sometimes, too, just because he’s such a know-it-all and so long-winded. It would be cool to jump on top, tie him up (mouth included) and be like “just shut up and let me show you how much I know, n!gga.”

            Repenting like Cheekie. And much respect to Obsidian, by the way…I always look forward to his comments.

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        • You’re speaking my language.

          Please feel free to mail said man, or all of them, (we can work it out) to the H, with a quickness.

          Gracias.

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        • @TWIsm, it was the smile that got you the bottom half award. Nothing sexier than a pretty smile. So if you go ahead and do a close-up of your top half with the “pretty eyes” she might grace you with her top half award, lol. On second thoughts, nevermind…We don’t need you hypnotizing all the VSSs with those darn eyes everytime we want to comment.

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      • @cheekie I LOVE THIS! yes!!!! a vsb bruh amalgamation! why didn’t i think of that?! One more doe…D Boy D*stroy’s devotion. Lawd have mercy that man loved his wife. where he at?

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      • Just off the first and last mentions, I’m plain through. I will say “thank you” for the first. The last is plain hilarious. The laugh I got off that one alone will get me to 10:00, by which time I should be back to get more chuckles – speaking of, so glad I didn’t read this in the office. Hard enough to read without laughter as is.

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      • LOL, I started to do this. (Glad I didn’t because I would been 9 hours late.)

        Who’s upper face though- don’t we have a VSB with half a head right now?

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      • B. Brown’s chilvary, Sobo’s sarcasm, Champ’s gift for alliteration, Humble One’s mysteriousness, Medium Meech’s humor, Panama’s pop culture knowledge, Calleberoso’s (I’m working off late night non-spelling ability here lol) sincerity, DG’s one-liners, TwiSM’s lower face, DQ’s pensive thoughts, ComicBookGuy’s sweetness, Mr Sank’s cool laid back ways, Eddie Brock’s arms, Ten10inch’s um…ya know (where he at, doe?!) and Obsidian’s… enthusiasm?

        THIS COMMENT WINS!! COME COLLECT YOUR OSCAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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      • @Cheekie

        Ten10inch’s um…ya know (where he at, doe?!)

        I’m always around. Ask and ye shall receive, I’m here to give ya what cha need……

        Good list. Congrats, seems you’ve built a perfect Frankenstein…

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    • Cornel West’s penchant for talking with his hands (shiiiiiiet, this ninja is a conductor with his hands)

      Cheekie!!! Girl, won’t you stop killing me, please??! :D

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  10. The perfect man….

    6’5″tall; mahogany skin; professional biomedical engineer; volunteers as a youth minister, tutor, fire fighter and driver for meals on wheels; reads Stephen Hawking by the fireplace while holding a pipe (but not smoking, just looking educated) and wearing an ascot; 100% faithful (emotionally and physically); loves to travel the world; dabbles in jazz; plays in a recreational squash league; has never dated a white woman, never married with no kids; 30-40 years old; and…Chilli? for real? why are you laughing?

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    • “reads Stephen Hawking by the fireplace while holding a pipe (but not smoking, just looking educated) and wearing an ascot; ”

      DEAD

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      • 6’5?tall; mahogany skin; professional biomedical engineer; volunteers as a youth minister, tutor, fire fighter and driver for meals on wheels; reads Stephen Hawking by the fireplace while holding a pipe (but not smoking, just looking educated) and wearing an ascot; 100% faithful (emotionally and physically); loves to travel the world; dabbles in jazz; plays in a recreational squash league; has never dated a white woman, never married with no kids; 30-40 years old; and…

        Babee!!!! He’s dead and never been born!
        But just suppose he did exist, can you imagine what kinda pressure he would be? I think he’d be wayyyyy too much work! If that kneegrow had all of that going for him, I would think that he would settle for nothing less than The Virgin Mary!

        At this point in my life, (past the childbearing age) he doesn’t even have to be good looking! But nice, kind, loves to read, employed, great in bed or willing to learn, average height and build, (hey, I’m no Hallie B.) honest and no drama! Oh, and if he’s smart but also good with his hands, that’s fine too. Most of all he has to love me and laugh at my jokes! We can work out everything else!

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        • “At this point in my life, (past the childbearing age) he doesn’t even have to be good looking! But nice, kind, loves to read, employed, great in bed or willing to learn, average height and build, (hey, I’m no Hallie B.) honest and no drama! Oh, and if he’s smart but also good with his hands, that’s fine too. Most of all he has to love me and laugh at my jokes! We can work out everything else!”

          I love this

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    • “professional biomedical engineer; volunteers as a youth minister, tutor, fire fighter and driver for meals on wheels AND “plays in a recreational squash league”
      good lord that man is BUSY
      but he sounds good though

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    • holding a pipe (but not smoking, just looking educated)

      I don’t know about this one…seems a bit pretentious to me.

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  11. Adrian Peterson’s body and athleticism,Braylon Edwards’ face, Dr. Cornell West’s intellect and passion, Marvin Gaye’s singing voice, Mr. Marcus’ peen, Common’s swag, and Jesus’ gangsta, wit, and wisdom (he whipped the money changers out of the temple, had a slick mouth, and used analogies and stories to explain everything)

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      • The honest, deep down to my soul answer is that I was blessed to marry a man who is not perfect, but is most definitely perfect for me. He is smart, funny, sexy, and has that Brooklyn swag that I love. He’s my best friend, and when I watch him with my son I fall in love with him all over again. I wouldn’t trade him for not one kneegrow on this list, well except Jesus, but he’s special.

        However, this is all about fun and fantasy so I chose a couple of my NFL baby daddies, my musical baby daddies, my all time p*rn favorite, one of my favorite intellects, and my Jesus to create an ideal man who doesn’t exist and who I’ll never meet. Hell, I can build my husband’s perfect woman, too. I know who all his baby mama’s are lol!

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    • @NY2VA

      God’s watching you! LOL!

      But you are right! Jesus was a bad dude! Ran err body out of the temple! And was very quick to put folk in their place without skipping a beat!

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        • “You know Jesus had the strong side-eye. He had to messing around with that damn Peter.”

          Sounds like a sermon a hood certified Pastor would give.

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  12. DARREN SHARPER + ?UESTLOVE + ROBIN THICKE + ELLEN DEGENERES = PERFECT HUSBAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    (stunning smile, great convo & music collection, romantic tendencies, funloving & likes to dance *haaaaay!*)

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  13. Perfect Topic since I’m in the middle of Studying Anatomy and Physiology.

    6’5 with brown eyes, smile like the sun rise?
    Okay that was a buzz kill. Give me a second while I skim through this GQ Magazine. LOL

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  14. Upper Body:

    Eyes-Angela Sarafyan
    Lips-Angela Sarafyan
    Hair Style-Short Dreads, Solanges Afro, anything natural
    Complexion-Sanaa Lathan
    Breastesses-Nia Long or Kyla Pratt (big bazangas aren’t a must)
    Abs-Regina King
    Arms-Regina King

    Lower Body

    A$$-Tracee Ellis Ross
    Legs-Candance Parker
    Feet-Non-Funky

    Height-Kyla Pratt

    Personality-Combination of Lynn, Toni, and Maya from girlfriends with Yvonne,Lynn and Monicas freakiness. Lynn’s personality is dominant though

    VayJayJay-Lynn from Girlfriends (based on the characters theoretical dopeness doing the heels-to-Jesus)

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    • “VayJayJay-Lynn from Girlfriends (based on the characters theoretical dopeness doing the heels-to-Jesus)”

      “Lynn” took a picture with my nephew(twelve at the time) when he visited L.A. a few yrs ago, and she looks better without makeup.

      Instead of the current popular chicks, imma take it back to women with a “classic” look/vibe/persona:

      Eartha Kitt
      Josephine Baker/Lynn Withfield (perfect breasts)
      Tracy Camilla Johns (female from “She’s Gotta Have It)

      Reply ↓

    • Angela Sarafyan aka the “dark-side” girl from the State Farm commercials. Got into trouble with my girl, talking about those eyes.

      Reply ↓

  15. Gonna save my spot while I ruminate on it… but until then

    My man is smooth like Barry, and his voice got bass
    A body like Arnold with a Denzel face
    He’s smart like a doctor with a real good rep
    And when he comes home he’s relaxed with Pep
    He always got a gift for me everytime I see him
    A lot of snot-nosed ex-flames couldn’t be him
    He never ran a corny line once to me yet
    So I give him stuff that he’ll never forget
    He keeps me on Cloud Nine just like the Temps
    He’s not a fake wannabe tryin’ to be a pimp
    He dresses like a dapper don, but even in jeans
    He’s a God-sent original, the man of my dreams

    Reply ↓

  16. Well isn’t this an interesting one…I see I’m gonna have to put some thought into this…

    hmm…

    I’d have to go with Obama’s “swag” (even though I hate that word), a singing voice like Maxwell’s, a speaking voice like Adimu (yall DC/PG/NoVA people will know who I speak of), a physique like Josh Freeman, arms like Dwight Howard (in proportion to said physique), eyes like Chris Paul, Seth Myers’ sense of humor, style like Phonte/Zo/Eric Roberson, the intellect of a combination of a few of my friends…and well, that’s all I can think of for now…we’ll see what I come up with as the day goes on…

    Reply ↓

  18. Thinking out loud: I’m curious whether there will actually be a large percentage of people that envision their perfect man/woman as it compliments who they are as a human being or will it almost unilaterally be about idol worship and perfection.

    Reply ↓

    • Hmmm…great point to ponder! But if were allowed to “be as shallow, superficial, silly, self-centered, and selfish as possible, without any fear of judgment, side-eye, or throat-punches”</i), my money's on option B!

      I like how you think though! ;)

      Reply ↓

    • @Malik

      Read my response earlier! I an not looing for some make believe man that hasn’t been born. I’m looking for a man that would compliment my humble soul and not so perfect body!

      The perfect man would be way too much work for me to keep up with!

      Reply ↓

    • I think most people will envision someone that compliments them. Like I love Jamie Fox, but I don’t think his personality would match mine. Now I picked Chris Rock because we have the same sense of humor (wouldn’t I like to think right) and I feel like his personality would match mine; more quiet and laid back.

      As far as looks go, I’m not sure where “complimenting” would occur. (Except homegirl that said she want her man bent to the left.)

      Reply ↓

    • idol worship is where it’s at. realism and complimentary roles are for real life. when you get to build your ideal…you might as well go for the completely unrealistic.

      for instance, do you all remember mr. cheeks video, “lights, camera, action”? in this video, when mr. cheeks came into the club a light went off and all of the strippers in the strip club knew it was their time to do their thing. for real??? lol. but that’s what my life looks like in my brain. when P shows up…lights go off and the ladies come flocking. lol. i need to make my own videos.

      Reply ↓

      • “for instance, do you all remember mr. cheeks video, “lights, camera, action”?”

        Hey! That’s how I got my name! I called myself Miss Cheeks (not because I wanted Mister because I vaguely remember him looking like a gremlin on a Sunday), but because of the play of names. Anyway, someone remixed it to Cheekie, and there ya have it. History Channel.

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  19. Ooooh, my turn…..
    Dwight Howard’s physique and positive character (well, for the most part), Dave Chapelle’s humor/sarcasm, that one Alpha dude on campus’ intelligence, Prince’s musical EVERYTHING, with a touch of Obama’s insight to America’s social issues…..sigh.

    Oooh, and good credit. I don’t care whose; just make sure that score is high.

    Reply ↓

    • ….oh yes, and could I have a smile like Mr Adrian Peterson mixed in with the way Troy Polamalu walks off field after a play (I dunno)? I would also like the intellectual capacity of Michael Eric Dyson, the business knowledge of Oprah, and the willingness to step up and volunteer with the kids in the neighborhood like my co-worker….(sigh)

      Reply ↓

  21. This is difficult for me. Like I said in a comment earlier this week, I don’t really have many other solidified preferences beyond height. There are so many options to choose from, I can’t narrow it down.

    BUT IF I WERE VAIN AND SHALLOW, my perfect man would be like the following:

    • He would have the confidence, work ethic and ambition of Will Smith. What I love about Will is that he’s aware someone could be better at him than any given talent, but he knows NOBODY will ever out hustle him. Plus, my insidery sources tell me he has a good balance of humility, so it’s not just for show either.
    • Height/Build? Meh. I don’t think I know of any celeb off hand whose body I really want/need. All the muscley hard bodies tend to all look the same. I’d probably go for a basketball player’s build though, since I like tall men, and tall goes well with lean muscle. So. Let’s go with. Oh! Dwight Howard. Yesssss hunny *fans self*
    • He would have the intelligence of….I dunno someone smart. I like Will Hunting from Good will Hunting though. The more eccentric the better, though. One of my exes was a polymer scientist. That was different.
    • Humor. This might have to go back to Will Smith. I want someone who keeps me laughing and on my toes. Who can laugh at me with me. Not someone who just has jokes here and there. No, i want hearty belly laughs every day. Also, I think funny men are used to laughs and I laugh…a lot. I’m a constant giggle box.
    • Plug for Jesus, since it’s almost Easter: He would have a servant’s heart like…..somebody cool in the bible (I dunno, Paul?). He won’t be perfect, but he’ll be actively working on being more Christ-like every day. A man who will help me get closer to God (unlike most dudes I know, who are inadvertently drawing me away from God lol).
    • Rears his kids like Heathcliff Huxtable. Nuff said.
    • Sings like….*SIGH* R. Kelly. I know, sue me. But Kells could still sing the drawz off. His voice isn’t particularly epic but something about the consistency is great. I feel like his voice a capella (like in bed) would be heaven.
    • The compassion of Will Smith’s character in The Pursuit of Happyness.
    • The moral code of Omar from The Wire. A man gotta have a code.

    Okay, I think that’s my shallow man in a (long) (pause) nutshell. I mean if Jada would just hand over Will Smith I’d be halfway there.

    Reply ↓

    • All that is perfect, it really is, but what I want to know is how you got BULLET POINTS in your post????

      I can’t even get a damn strikethrough. Not to mention I was the first loser on the first comment. LOL

      Still I rise…

      Reply ↓

    • “Sings like….*SIGH* R. Kelly. I know, sue me. But Kells could still sing the drawz off.”

      hmmm.. going off voices alone… men who could “sing the drawz off”:

      -Prince
      -D’Angelo (all.the.way.off)
      -Eric Benet
      -Babyface
      plies

      Reply ↓

      • LOL @ plies. stawp it!

        Prince doesn’t do it for me for some reason. I can’t get over the heeled boots and the 4’9″ height.

        I’ve always wanted to date a man who could sang. Maybe that will be my next project.

        Reply ↓

        • I’m sorry for interrupting, but you gave Prince Rogers Nelson the “no”?
          Have you heard that man sing “The Beautiful Ones”?
          …or “Little Red Corvette”?

          I just don’t understand. There’s nothing wrong with a travel-sized lover….

          Reply ↓

      • Raheem DeVaughn
        Kenny Lattimore–”For You” is STILL my jam

        and..

        pre-rape sentence Aaron Hall (kidding, just wanted to type that out) LOL

        Reply ↓

      • -D’Angelo (all.the.way.off)

        Especially if he was re-enacting the “how does it feel” video in his “how does it feel” days. I don’t know if you’ve seen his mug shot lately.

        Reply ↓

        • i have & i’m deeply saddened by how the sexiest music video ever made w/o a real set or actors or anything singer now looks the way he does :(

          Reply ↓

          • Actually that video is sexist. I think it is proof positive that R&B creates a rape culture for men through objectification and sexual commoditization. I wouldn’t let him participate in my save the whales sock hop, that’s for sure.

            Reply ↓

        • See, yall don’t see my vision with Plies. I don’t like him, I don’t think he’s cute, but I can’t confirm or deny that I don’t have a song or two of his on a particular playlist. that is all.

          Reply ↓

          • Plies [image] is the d0pe boy on the corner that looks so damn good but you know he has nothing going on and ain’t nothing but trouble. And consequently, the guy that usually gets girls in trouble.

            Reply ↓

            • In addition to that his name is Algernon.

              Algernon is a rat in a story who was smart for all of three days then got mentally challenged and died.

              Don’t need that kinda imagery in a relationship with someone. #imjustsayin

              Reply ↓

              • i was wondering why that sounded SO familiar.. i was blanking. thank you for not making me have to “google it up” as my dad says.

                Reply ↓

                • “Flowers for Algernon” is the story, back when school’s required students to actually read things it was my favorite story. You’re welcome ^_^

                  Reply ↓

              • It is NOT! Y’mean Plies is named after “Flowers for Algernon”?

                From now on, everytime I tutor one of my kids and we stumble across such literature, “Bus’ It, Baby” is going to be playing somewhere in the background…..highly inappropriate. =/

                Reply ↓

    • Good list, Liz!!! I love all your descriptions, particularly the Good Will Hunting thing. Yes! I forgot to make my man smart. Rats. I forgot about God too. Doh! Can you just find someone and send me his shorter brother. Kthanksbai.

      Reply ↓

    • “He would have the intelligence of….I dunno someone smart. I like Will Hunting from Good will Hunting though. The more eccentric the better, though. One of my exes was a polymer scientist. That was different”

      A cool @ss nerd – is my IRL dream dude

      Reply ↓

      • yeah it is/was mine too. might still be but the last nerd i dated who was also cool was also making me feel like every date was a job interview.

        Reply ↓

  22. I want my man to be perfect. That’s all. Ok let me play for real….
    My ideal man has to be a strong but silent type. The one who has the presence of an alpha but doesn’t need to prove anything. His eyes say it all. I want a man who understands women and adores our ways yet knows how to check me and doesn’t let me run sh*t. He has to be intellectual and knows how to go beyond the surface in convo. I like to be with someone who gets to me. Goes deep in my mind where I’m thinking about things he said in the middle of the day. He has to be s.exy and an excellent lover. Someone who can handle me in the bedroom. I want a man who’s honest by nature and real. Someone who takes care of himself. Someone who loves and values family. I want a leader because I need to be led sometimes. A clean man who puts effort into living a good life. He must have a sense of humor. As far as looks is concerned, if he does the above, I’ll probably end up falling love as long as he’s handsome in some way. If I have to put specifics…..I’d say tall, chocolate, fine features, nice eyes, big d*ck, nice butt, nice teeth and a s.exy smile

    Reply ↓

    • I like a nucka with some flaws. Can he at least have a lil scar above his eye from when he got hit in the head with a swing when he was seven?

      Reply ↓

    • sfg

      im mad that i forgot to add that sometimes he will have to check me cuz i can get out of pocket on occasion and i need some dominance for when the natural submissive in me comes out

      good call

      Reply ↓

    • This is definitely the perfect man. And the best part is, it’s not unattainable! I mean, you pretty much just described my boyfriend, and I’m not even trying to brag (big ups to him, not me.) I think there are lots of guys like this out there. Great job, SmartFoxGirl.

      Reply ↓

    • My ideal man has to be a strong but silent type. The one who has the presence of an alpha but doesn’t need to prove anything. His eyes say it all. I want a man who understands women and adores our ways yet knows how to check me and doesn’t let me run sh*t. He has to be intellectual and knows how to go beyond the surface in convo. I like to be with someone who gets to me. Goes deep in my mind where I’m thinking about things he said in the middle of the day. He has to be s.exy and an excellent lover. Someone who can handle me in the bedroom. I want a man who’s honest by nature and real. Someone who takes care of himself. Someone who loves and values family. I want a leader because I need to be led sometimes. A clean man who puts effort into living a good life. He must have a sense of humor. As far as looks is concerned, if he does the above, I’ll probably end up falling love as long as he’s handsome in some way. If I have to put specifics…..I’d say tall, chocolate, fine features, nice eyes, big d*ck, nice butt, nice teeth and a s.exy smile

      SFG, you have to let this obsession with me go….you have a man! Geezh!

      Reply ↓

    • @SFG THIS. MAN. RIGHT. HERE.

      this is everything. i feel like you snatched him right out of my head! it is NOTHING like a man with presence… the kind that can command attention by just walking in a room, without even uttering a word! nice smile, nice eyes, tall, brown. EVERY last feature and character trait you wrote. YES give me one of those immediately. Whew chile!! Just the thought…………………………….

      *snaps*

      Reply ↓

      • LOL Guuuurrrrrl *fans self* aint this kind of dude grand? I tell ya. I aint sharing doe cause I will shank a h0e <— hey that rhymes! :) lol j/k lemme know if you spot a dude like this. I might just change area codes for this type of man…might.

        Reply ↓

      • EVERY last feature and character trait you wrote. YES give me one of those immediately. Whew chile!! Just the thought…………………………….

        I’m here. Be gentle.

        Reply ↓

  23. hmmm..lets see…

    He would have to have the sex appeal of Idris, confidence and “swag” of Hov, Bill Gates money, a quirky zaney sense of style like Andre Benjamin, sensitivity and sweetness like Dwele, music fan like Eric Roberson and the intellegence and consciousness like Jeff Johnson. Nice stright teeth are a must, well groomed, and a sense of humor, especially since I tend to laugh at all things deemed inappropriate. Oh yeah, and he needs to be a freak..mr low sex drive need not apply…

    Reply ↓

  24. First, I would start off with NY2PA’s (NY2VA’s sister) personality, ability to drop it like its hot, flexibility, sense of direction, talent for erotic massages, and knack for interior decorating. I would then put all of that into the body of that blue chick from the X-men that can turn into anybody. After she graduated from the best culinary school in Tuscany she would be the perfect woman.

    Reply ↓

    • You know that its just a description and that it wont ACTUALLY happen once you’re done right????

      Reply ↓

  26. Here goes:
    1. Back, wingspan, chocolate complexion, and fcuk face of Idris Elba
    2. An a$$ that looks like it’s been molded by years of basketball, squats, and soccer on the weekends. Wesley Snipes has a good a$$.
    3. Juicy lips and torso of D’Angelo in the Untitled (How Does it Feel) video with good kissing skills reminiscent of the first kiss between Marcus and Angela in Boomerang after they fell asleep watching Star Trek.
    4. Ability to eat p*ssy like Rico Strong (particularly in the flick with Jazmine Cashmere & Aliana Love, minus the grill)
    5. Sense of humor of Chris Rock (circa Bigger & Blacker), Conan O’Brien (nbc), Jack Black, and Zach Galiafanakis combined.
    6. Discipline and Commitment to craft of Will Smith
    7. Stature and Sex appeal of Gary Dourdan on A Different World when he walked into a room.
    8. “Don’t Talk Just Listen” voice like Devante. Bass + boyishness + eeeee!!! quality that makes you get butterflies and smile from ear to ear. I’m sure there are better examples out there, but this is always the first one that comes to mind.
    9. the upper body/back strength of Wesley Snipes in the balcony scene of Mo Betta Blues with Clarke.
    10. meaty thighs, soft hands.
    11. 6 to 8 inches. no mutants, please. i’ll take bends too, but only bending to the left. THE LEFT!
    12. and finally, financial stability, loyalty, loves his parents, wants children, and fathers like Dr. Huxtable. Zberts and all.
    *curtsy*

    Reply ↓

  27. Hmmm.. Y’all got me thinking … Perfect man : Obama swag, can carry on a conversation about pop culture or politics like Michael Eric Dyson, generous like Magic Johnson, god- fearing and smart in more ways than just books. And look good enough for me not to be embarasses to take you out ROTFL JK but no for real. I don’t think I am asking for too much. Oh yeah and don’t mind splurging every once and a while.

    Reply ↓

    • hmm…question, would you actually want to talk to Michael Eric Dyson for extended periods of time?

      im asking in all seriousness. hearing him talk longer than 30 seconds gives me hives.

      Reply ↓

      • LOL, I picked him for intelligence but I picked a quieter ideal for personality. He seems like he’d make everything into an hour long discussion.

        Reply ↓

  28. Before I found sense I had the perfect man built up in my mind lol.. He was tall (I’m 5’11)..when I was younger I had a 6’4 & up rule lol. had decent build..I’ve always liked solid guys.. not too big.. not too muscular.. except in the thighs. I love strong thighs. I don’t know why and I find it to be weird but that’s the one area I’d definitely like to be muscular.. Dark. I like em dark. Like Wesley Snipes dark. Like midnight dark. An insatiable sex drive….And no braids.
    Matter of fact, can I just have Idris Elba with a stupid tan?

    Reply ↓

    • “…except in the thighs. I love strong thighs. I don’t know why and I find it to be weird but that’s the one area I’d definitely like to be muscular…”

      I co-sign with this statement. I always was bothered (and not in a good way) whenever I see a man with a muscular upper body, but he is walking on Tweety-bird legs. I like to call those physiques “the D-Block” body.

      Reply ↓

  29. i’m going to just jump in
    mensa smart but not pretentious
    lone wolf with social skills and street smarts
    the political savvy of cornell west with the i say whatever i want of bill maher
    sense of humor like old school eddie murphy mixed w/ dave chappelle before he went back to africa
    well traveled like anthony bourdain
    cooks like an iron chef
    healthy and long lived like jack lalane
    kind hearted like boris kodjoe character in one of those medea movies
    knows how to fight like 90s mike tyson (just in case)
    loves to dance like joshua from sytycd
    loves scrabble and other games
    secure in himself like omar from the wire (not gay but just don’t care what people think about his life because he is the one living it)
    quiet, calm and laid back
    CAPABLE AND READY FOR REAL EMOTIONAL INTIMACY
    loyal like yvette from baby boy ( i know that’s a woman but i couldn’t think of a ride or die male character)
    loves his family like heathcliff from cosby show
    can do many jobs like mike from dirty jobs (just in case times get hard)
    can drive like paul walker in fast and furious (there is something about a truly skilled driver that just makes me say ugggggggg nanananana)
    his strengths compliment my weaknesses and vice versa
    6’4″ of hersey kiss smooth and delicious darkness with a very low caesar or baldy stocky deep confident voice like james earl jones
    solid build with a broad back and wide shoulders
    a perfect beard like black thought
    dimples like darren sharper
    a smile like morris chestnut
    lips like ray j (don’t judge me)
    teeth like that dude in the colgate commercial
    jawline like ron mexico mike vick
    shoulders & chest like a huskier michael jai white
    hands that are smooth w/a slight hardness to them
    thighs like a linebacker
    nice feet (just cuz its good to have)
    a piece that’s impressive in both length and girth with the talent and drive to use it right ala justin slayer, mr. marcus & jack napier

    i could go on but i don’t want to be too much… i already don’t know how to act

    Reply ↓

    • i’ll take your anthony bourdain, iron chef, and skilled driving. skilled (and fast) drivers really turn me on. stick drivers also really turn me on, but i’ll stop…
      yes…and intimacy so important…i just thought of the bathtub scene with taye diggs and sanaa lathan in best man. yasssss.

      Reply ↓

    • can drive like paul walker in fast and furious (there is something about a truly skilled driver that just makes me say ugggggggg nanananana)
      First of all, Paul is one of my boo thangs ;) and secondly, YAASSS! Men that can handle a stirring wheel (or some handle bars) is what’s up!

      Reply ↓

    • @Yoles

      I didn’t know that some women were into a guy’s driving skills. I’m a car guy so I love driving. I’ve street raced and the women at the races didn’t seem like they cared about how a dude powershifted. My ex would make fun of me downshifting and rowing through gears.

      Reply ↓

      • Humble_One

        shhhh don’t tell anyone but i used to illegally street race down deer park ave in long island…. there is just something about a man that can handle a motor vechicle… i’m already liking the way you downshift and i didn’t even see it yet

        Reply ↓

      • This is real life. This morning when I was driving to work (in a skirt and heels) and shifting gears, I had to give my own sexiness a high five. :lol:

        Reply ↓

    • “jawline like ron mexico mike vick”
      DEAD! I live in ATL and DIE every time i hear ron mexico

      Reply ↓

    • …a piece that’s impressive in both length and girth with the talent and drive to use it right ala justin slayer, mr. marcus & jack napier

      Ok, I’ll be back to readin as soon as I come back from the ladies room. I just got wet. Daymn Yoles

      Reply ↓

    • “…dimples like darren sharper…”

      There’s something about this man that makes me wonder, ‘what is his quink?’ Every time I see a picture of him, I think ‘what is your fetish, Mr. Sharper? What is your fetish?”

      Reply ↓

      • mimi

        i would lock myself in a house stocked with swings, poles, whips, chains, handcuff, feathers, vibrators, lube, another girl or two, viagra, red bull, wigs and various costumes, whipped cream, syrup, a camera & tripod, mdma (for medical research purposes-of course), and my ipod JUST to find out what kinks mr. sharper is hiding and to help him let ‘em out!!!!!!

        #idomyparttofightcrimetoo

        Reply ↓

        • ::just spat my tea onto the keyboard and on the computer monitor::

          Why, thank you, Yoles…

          I usually don’t like to spit anything out, once it’s inside of my mouth.

          Reply ↓

          • I’m just gonna take that last sentence like you knew what you were doing when you typed it. Right? LOL

            Reply ↓

            • “I’m just gonna take that last sentence like you knew what you were doing when you typed it. Right?”

              ::in a voice that is Southern and reeks of white priviledge while batting eyelashes and looking all innocent and coy ::

              By, whatever do you mean?

              Reply ↓

              • So, that’s how one would describe that voice? “reeks of white privilege” huh?

                That right there is my ear’s kryptonite. A woman could almost curse my momma….almost.

                Reply ↓

  30. I am going to soft shoe and describe my current woman.

    ToRecognize that though I’m misguided my intentions are to improve how people experience the world and help me to harness my positives and grow beyond my faults. To understand me.

    ToHave direction and desires of her own and be able to respect the rareness of our connection. We may have the perfect love and only be able to enjoy it for a few moments of life. And to know that we will never leave each other even after years of not seeing each other if that were to happen.

    Patience, sacrifice, dedication, priority, appropriate honesty, a forward thinking application of health & wellness maintenance.
    Understanding is great too.

    Versatility and a high boiling point when dealing with resistance or difficult situations.

    Respect, for me and elders.

    Physically, the only thing that matters is that she works out and eats healthy enough. Mentally read books.

    Religion can be a strong influence.

    Can share the most traumatic and intimate thoughts with me so that we can grow to learn each other in every way. I guess there are time release limits on this.

    And a steady momentum with growth.

    Good humor, easy going but understand why sleeping with a lot of guys makes me feel more random and less important. And knowing why I feel that way.

    The feel is important.

    Allows me to read her energy, no matter what.

    Reply ↓

    • *e-swoons.
      i love love. that was beautifully written.
      would it be lazy of me to say that my ideal person sees (and WRITES about me!) like this?

      Reply ↓

    • At the beginning, I had these 10hr & 12hr shifts I worked, and sometimes we would be on the phone all through the shift, then talk all through the night, up until I had to work again. I never felt tired or fell asleep on her but the moment she was gone(off the phone) my World felt like Hell and she was the bringer of my demise. That agony, is my sense of perfection and not knowing but hoping that she felt it too.

      I’m humbled by any acceptance of my list. This was a bit of the ol’ soul bearing in contrast to my typical calculated angle of approach; I don’t share what matters much.
      Thank you all. It is beginning to feel like a home away from home without a physical…err..yeah. Just…thanks Y’all.

      Reply ↓

  31. My list will be strange to a lot of you folks but I don’t keep a harem for nothing!

    Mamoru Chiba’s fidelity (Sailor Moon)
    Shimada Kanbei’s swordsmanship (Samurai 7)
    Spike Spigel’s charm (Cowboy Bebop)
    Shizuka Doumeki’s stoicism (xxxholic)
    Kisuke Urahara’s intelligence (Bleach)
    Nicholas D. Wolfwood’s sexiness (Trigun)
    Gene Starwind’s sense of adventure (Outlaw Star)
    Touya Kinomoto’s musical skill (Card Captor Sakura)
    Jet Black’s voice (Cowboy Bebop)
    Yasutora Sado’s body (Bleach)
    Kenpachi’s ruthlessness (Bleach)
    Kaname Tousen’s dignity (Bleach
    Otoha’s beauty (Karas)

    Reply ↓

    • An all Anime chick, huh? I only have two problems, I wouldn’t want my perfect woman to be ruthless and handy with a blade, and I’m not sure if latex is ink soluble.

      Reply ↓

      • @MM – Kanbei would help me improve my own lackluster swordswoman’s skills; Kenpachi would match my enthusiasm :P I could have added some videogame men (eyes Jin Kazama). I dare to askwhy I should worry about whether latex is ink soluble…

        Reply ↓

          • My bad, I have a hard time telling if someone is a man or woman in anime (or Asian for that matter), I guess I have the same problem with avatars.

            Reply ↓

            • @Sage Jr & MM – I’ve been told I sometimes come across as a guy online but nope, all woman here! If not, someone owes my mum a refund 0_o And I usually use avatars of characters I like regardless of their gender ^__^

              Reply ↓

              • It didn’t matter that my preconceived notions lead me to assume that because you have a male avatar, you are a male. That was silly of me.

                That is assuming. I shouldn’t do that.

                And come across as a man? Not so much.
                Though you express yourself without much of the extras that women typically use via forums and what not. Men are less flamboyant with the extra characters and colloquial spellings, so are you. But it is all good as long as we did not offend you. :-)

                Reply ↓

                • @Sage jr – I’m not offended at all! ^__^ I don’t know about colloquial spellings though – I think that’s more of a regional thing not really a gender thing, but who knows?

                  Reply ↓

                  • I do. I just told ya. Ha.

                    When I say “colloquial spellings” it is because I lack the symbol to express common spelling deviations and emoticons.

                    Women do this a lot when they agree= YAAASSSSS. (Its really cute but also kinda of lizard mutant-esque)
                    They are more likely to hit the Acronym circuit(but I could just be seeing a significant trend where none is).
                    Women “die” more on this than men do.
                    They are typically more abstract with their responses in a sensing kind of way(I mean, like vibing), while men by comparison are typically more rooted in the goal of expressing a certain kind of ideal or thought. meh, I’m writing a thesis apparently…smh…I’m just saying, if you read enough of them…a steady difference can be made though(and I don’t feel I need to say this but I fear someone may attack this angle if I don’t) nothing is even close to absolute. smh

                    Anyways…Itachi/Ace…same person? hahaha

                    Reply ↓

                    • @Sage Jr – from my own experience in online communities I have a variety in language and emoticon use that are not linked to gender to rather to the “culture” of the board/blog/etc. I think the nature of VSB’s content and “culture” of forthrightness may inspire more emotional type language overall. At least, I’m surprised with the openness of men here regarding topics that I generally don’t hear discussed with frankness offline.

                    • @Kaname,

                      O_O

                      Your response intrigues me.
                      Seven pounds. Several ways. Seven seconds. Seven days.

                      You ain’t neva had a friend like WE….as in US as in Vee-Ess-Bee!!!

                      We would give you our heart(exp) so that you may live a better life!

      • @TWIsM81 – *tips hat* thank you kindly ^_^ I figured I’d be the only one on the board who would actually do this >_> but I *love* my anime/manga menfolk.

        Reply ↓

    • fascinating…

      i actually assumed that you were a guy, because of the name ‘kaname’…

      wellp, i’m the @ss on that… O-hay-yo…

      *looks up *Karas* because it’s the only one on the list that i don’t know about*

      Reply ↓

      • I’m still assuming this is a guy. Did I miss the indication otherwise? PS. I don’t know anybody of the characters on this list, but I really like that you thought outside of the box!

        Reply ↓

      • @peter parker – Karas is a visual delight, you should check it out ^__^ And you are right to be confused about my gender since all outward signs I guess point to male (avi and name)? I suppose by reading most of my comments, you can’t tell that I’m a girl which is good IMO.

        Reply ↓

        • I have to admit. When I saw Touzin’s pic, I figured you were a guy as well. But when you said Aizen was in your male harem last week, I figured it out. Now I find out I knew a secret no one else knew. I feel non-short bus special.

          Reply ↓

          • Grrr. Tousen…get it right….(Just playin man)

            Karas is extremely beautifully animated. Very dramatic. Fast paced but a bit mind chexin’ at the same time. The interwoven time lines….drops of one thread and pick ups of another.

            Oh how it is worthwhile. I haven’t seen anything quite like it. in one word: Classic

            Reply ↓

            • @Sage Jr – the comment thread up top has ended, so I’ll just continue down here.

              “O_O

              Your response intrigues me.
              Seven pounds. Several ways. Seven seconds. Seven days.

              You ain’t neva had a friend like WE….as in US as in Vee-Ess-Bee!!!

              We would give you our heart(exp) so that you may live a better life!”

              VSB is a first time experience for me in terms of a plethora of information available regarding relationship trials and tribulations (an area that I have >><_> And please kept the heart, you’ve only got one!

              Reply ↓

              • *edit (an area that I have little experience with). I’ve got to leave more spaces to save the html coding! >_<

                Reply ↓

              • I see you though @Kaname

                When I said heart, I meant as in the experiences that we hold dear to our heart to help you live. This is what we do for each other here(as I’m noticing).

                This is like a full on relationship. You have ups and downs, things that you don’t agree with that are said with the highest of volitions. There are amazing moments of clarity and disrupting fugues. There are unbelievable laughs and moments where sadness presents itself in varying form(i.e. heartbreaking experiences being shared). This website is basically my girlfriends mini-me so that I don’t miss her so much during her busy semesters at school. I get checked, accepted, rebuffed, co-signed and denied…and yes, I realize that three of those are the same thing. :-)

                This website….literally…crack. I spread it around like Big paws on a Puppy. Marlo.

                Reply ↓

  32. As said by Regine from Living Single:

    “I need a man with a butt with dents in the side with the promise of power!!!!!”

    I will never forget that line.

    And with that…good night!

    Reply ↓

  33. ok my perfect man:
    nice chocolate brown complexion, wooly man beard that is somehow perfectly groomed, walks like he owns the world, great smile (that whole sparkle and twinkling eye thing), gravely voice, giver of awesome bear hugs, great in the sack but not TOO great (i dont wanna have to wonder how many bust it babies he done ran through to get that great…ijs) great sense of humor, great cook, willing to deal with my issues…

    mmhm (sad part is i found this man, just not meant to be :epicwailofdispair:)

    Reply ↓

    • i can’t co-sign on the not TOO great… we just have to appreciate all the skills a man has aquired during his life journey. don’t put limits on him, it stunts his growth!!

      Reply ↓

      • @yoles but what if he coming in there slanging it like he won the gold Olympic medal for extra curricular activities? nahsuh i dont want to ever have to go behind that…just be good enough.

        @8252 srsly though. i just periodically think “life aint fair” about the whole situation

        Reply ↓

        • tnt_ftw
          i’m ALL FOR the gold slanging… i for one don’t care where he got his prowess from as long as he is healthy and whatever are relationship arrangements are is kept in complete honesty and trust i’m good… kill me with the D i’d love to die a million (or more) little deaths

          Reply ↓

  34. I cannot wait to read all of these!

    My perfect MAN
    Boris Kodjoe’s height
    Idris Elba’s complexion
    Morris Chestnuts face
    Mehcad Brooks – body
    Lex Steel peen
    Mr. Marcus’s tongue
    Ludacris’ voice
    Kevin Garnetts bball skill
    Cornel West’s intellect
    Mos Def’s hip hop swag
    Warren Buffet’s bank account
    Kevin Harts sense of humor
    Never been to jail/prison
    Trust worthy
    giving
    and last but 1st – he loves the Lord :)

    Reply ↓

  35. yeah, i do have a faculty meeting at 7:30…but i had to hop on early…
    Claire Huxtable’s dedication to her family
    Alyssa Milano’s love for sports
    Paula Deen in the Kitchen
    Paula Patton Skin
    Selita Ebanks Legs (my goodness)
    Well versed in the ways of the scalp massage, can be a support system, Quick Witted, Even Tempered, A reader, Rather watch football than lifetime…(to be continued)

    Reply ↓

  36. My Freakenstein…

    Walk like Denzel (he really could walk my panties off)
    Sexy voice like Richard Roundtree
    Eyes like Michael Ealy
    Charisma and confidence like Don Draper (idk about Jon Hamm so I’ll just leave it with the character)
    Bradley Cooper’s body and height
    Bill Gates entrepeneurial spirit, bank account, and philanthropy
    Idris Elba’s gangsta (well, Stringer Bell)
    Desean Jackson’s athletic prowess (Eagles fan & I looovvee athletes and he’s fine)
    Lex Steele’s endowment
    Kevin Hart funny
    Sing like Anthony David
    Boris Kodjoe’s face
    LL Cool J’s lips circa 1995
    Good father and husband like Cliff Huxtable
    A tattoo or two but I can’t think of anyone with just two nicely placed tattoos that is famous
    It would be AWESOME if VSB had some sort of generator we could plug all this in and see how eff’d (maybe) up this Freakenstein would be lol

    Je suis fini!

    Reply ↓

  37. To keep my reply from only being two letters, I’ll limit this to famous people.

    Physically, she’d pretty much look like Halle Berry (I mean, the woman’s been at or near the top of every sensible “most beautiful” argument for 20 years for a reason). She’d have the political savvy of Donna Brazile, Ashley Judd’sOprah’s giving nature and love for advocacy, Sage Steele’s love of sports, Rachel Maddow’s wit, Tamron Hall’s crunkess (I’ve seen her go in on folk), Rachel Robinson’s class and grace, and Katherine Jackson’s mothering style. She’d also be nice and respectful and faithful and caring and all the obvious stuff, but who knows which celebrities have that…actually, based on her Twitter comments I’d say Richelle Carey probably fits. Oh, and she’d have the “adult” talents of Vanessa Blue.

    Reply ↓

    • Damn….guess not!

      I still stay winning. And I’m not one to think that I stay losing at love. Cuz I don’t. Not on some conceited sh*t, but I tend to find myself in favorable situations in romance. But, nothing is golden so when it ends, it ends…sometimes good, sometimes bad.

      Anyway, not to sound cliche or anything, but I have (physically) the type of man I want. He’s 6 feet, dark, handsome as hell and very well built. Is he everything I’d want? Physically, yes? I don’t think mentally you find someone comes “perfect.” It takes work and that’s the part of relationships that makes or breaks folks. Sadly, youth is wasted on the young and that doesn’t always dawn on someone until life and experience teach them that.

      Oh, and I’m glad I got a comment in under 50…cuz y’all folks be wildin on the comments now. LOL

      Reply ↓

      • “Oh, and I’m glad I got a comment in under 50…cuz y’all folks be wildin on the comments now. LOL”

        word up! its to the point where I can’t find my comment when I come back the next day.. lol. I stopped trying

        Reply ↓

        • i asked liz to consider expandable comment threads now that we all footloose and fancy free with one another. i have my toes crossed that she can make it happen.

          Reply ↓

      • “Oh, and I’m glad I got a comment in under 50…cuz y’all folks be wildin on the comments now. LOL”

        You ain’t never lied!!! I’m gonna chalk it up to having to be at work rather early (and not my advancing age…lol) that I can’t f*ck with y’all on the vampire bizness. Real talk: this may b the only comment I’ll leave cuz I’ll be spending my day reading everyone else’s.

        Reply ↓

  41. I’m good with just going with Claire Huxtable on the first two seasons of “The Cosby Show” with just a little bit more darkness to her.

    Reply ↓

    • Isn’t that the point of this little exercise? I don’t think people are saying that the ‘dream’ of finding this person, more so, if they could create their perfect mate, these are the characteristics they would have.

      Reply ↓

    • if you gonna dream you might as well dream big. it isn’t like anybody expects this sh*t. what’s the point of saying i want a ham sammich when you can get that. naw…i want a rack of pterodactyl ni**a. put some of that sweet baby ray’s on it and fry that b*tch broiler style.

      Reply ↓

      • OH GAWD! Pterodactyl though?!! LMAO!!!
        What if somebody found you one and brought it to the VSB BBQ?

        Reply ↓

  43. My girls and I have discussed this very question in the past, so i’m prepared!

    S’s or B’s height… and endowment actually…
    J’s bedroom skills and some of his morals, with just a hint of can’t remember his name’s (dang, lol) skills, all of his passion and love for life/ culture / travel
    R’s looks and body, but more toward medium build…
    J-s’s intelligence and education
    J-a’s/B-n,M-c’s money, some of J-a’s personality mixed w/ afore-mentioned morals, and his capacity to love
    R-o’s adoration/love for me

    I’m sure there’s more… but this is a start at least!

    Reply ↓

  44. Variety is the spice of life, and I enjoy a wide array of female body types. If I had to pin it down though…

    Physically, Sanaa Lathan w/ a boobs 1 cup size bigger, a fuller, rounder bum and normal thumbs.
    Sexually, Italia Blue, circa 2005. Nuff said.
    Mentally, a chick I knew in college who was in ROTC; cool, laid back, great sense of humor.

    Come to think of it, her body was type sick, too…

    Reply ↓

  45. Lets see

    The body, skin complexion, lips, and composure of Idris Elba
    The personality healthy lifestyle of Common
    The family values and a father like well my father
    A voice like Maxwell
    Funny like Chris Rock or Sinbad..depending on if I want you to be clean or dirty
    Height of a basketball player..imma go with Dwayne Wade since I love him
    The money and generous like Bill Gates
    I can’t think of the person who has a great smile and teeth but I know it when I see it.

    Reply ↓

  46. hm.

    i guess my bride-zilla would be…

    body of ester baxter and megan goode

    smile of Christina Milian

    intelligence of Condoleezza Rice

    soul of Claire Huxtable

    add a side dish of “Lovin’ the lil baby Jesus”, and a side dish of anime lovin’…

    and i’d be good.

    Reply ↓

    • Rumsfeld questioned Condoleezza’s intelligence many times during their time together in the administration. Not sure if I would take one. What about Elizabeth Warren, she’s brilliant. If you want to keep it black, what about Shirley Chisolm?

      I used to be in love with Christina Milian, but too many bad dating decisions kinda turned me off.

      Reply ↓

  47. Even though I already met my perfect man (in case he reads this :) ), if I had to pick a #2:

    Body: The Rock. It’s over.

    Face: Reggie Bush or Tyson. For me, they are both perfection in the face.

    Humor: Chris Rock. He has a hilarious mind but he doesn’t seem like the kind of guy that needs to be the center of attention.

    Money: I don’t want a man that’s too rich. Mo’ money, Mo’ problems. Jim Jones money.

    Attitude: Jack Bauer (“24″).

    Intelligence: Michael E. Dyson

    In that order, LOL

    Reply ↓

  48. I don’t have a preference for men 6 feet and over. Rather, just be taller than me. Shoot. LOL!

    Body: Slim. Think Michael Phelps.

    Face: Nerd. Like, Pharrell Williams or Donald Glover. Glasses are okay, as long as they’re nice. No Coke bottles.

    Humor: Both twisted and hilarious. Like Ricky Gervais.

    Voice: Aaron Rand Freeman.

    Intelligence: Open-minded. Like Ricky Gervais. LOL!

    Also, I prefer nerds. Comic-book-reading, CNN-watching, ComiCon-attending, anime-watching, skateboard-appreciating nerds. Nerds also tend to have an appreciation for art, if they can’t draw/paint/whatever themselves. And they’re likely to have real books in their homes (fuck Kindles). I love guys like that.

    “Come here, Nerd boy, boy do you read enough?…”

    Reply ↓

    • I love nerds, too. I’m also a sucker for a man with glasses. That’s the common thread of the men on my resume. I also like left-handedness, though I’m not sure why. Mayhaps because it’s a deviation from the norm.

      “(fck kindles)” – see, two years ago I would have agreed with you, but since I have a Kindle I can understand and appreciate their utility. The way I see it, Kindle readers are people that love to read so much that they have to carry their many books/blogs/mags/newspapers around with them. I’ve yet to date a man with an e-reader, but it would be a huge turn on because I like readers. Plus, this shows that maybe he’s a little bit tech,too. ….(nerdy/geeky) ;-)

      Reply ↓

      • I’m a bookworm, too, but there’s something about having the hard copy. I’m old-fashioned like that. Plus, I love libraries and want one in my home. And authors can’t sign Kindles. LOL!

        I, too, am a fan of glasses. I’ve seen them make a man more handsome.

        Reply ↓

        • YES at the library…. forget building me a big closet, I’d love a man to build me a huge library like in Beauty and the Beast. (but I’d probably settle for a bookcase from ikea or a few stolen egg crates from behind a gas station.)

          Reply ↓

  49. Didn’t I say I probably wasn’t gonna create a list? Yeah, well, I reserve the right to change my mind. Pulling from some of my favorite tv characters:

    Big’s charm and attitude.
    Aiden’s heart and compassion.
    Smith Jarrod’s patience and devotion.
    Dwayne Wayne’s intellect and love for his momma.
    Martin’s sense of humor.
    Mike Delfino’s brawn.
    Cake Boss’ skills in the kitchen.
    Huey Freeman’s radical thinking.

    Reply ↓

    • Oh yeah. I’d love for him to have a big heart like Aiden. Man, Carrie messed up bigtime with that one.

      Reply ↓

    • “Dwayne Wayne’s intellect and love for his momma” The first thing i thought of was prune cobbler LOL

      Reply ↓

  51. - Michael Ealy’s eyes
    - The jaw line of Ray Allen
    - Intellect of Cornell West, HU’s Dr. Carr and Lupe Fiasco
    - Big Sean’s smile
    - David Beckham’s body, but brown
    - A smart ass that trumps my smart assness
    - Coolness of Cliff Huxtable
    - Loves music as much as I do, if not more.
    - Hugs that make my world pause for a second
    - Kisses that make my heart skip a beat

    Reply ↓

    • “Hugs that make my world pause for a second”
      Agreed.
      Beckham is a nice-looking white boy. Posh don’t know what to do with all that…

      Reply ↓

      • “…Beckham is a nice-looking white boy. Posh don’t know what to do with all that…”

        I have this sneaky suspicion that David Beckham is an undercover chubby-chaser. I am still waiting to hear the rumors of Beckham having an affair with a big girl.

        Reply ↓

        • Oh yea Mimi!!!!!

          that would make my day… because i would do the same nasty freaky dirty illegal in some states things to david as i would to darren!!!!!

          viva la chica sucia

          Reply ↓

  53. Here’s the deal: Between our height, hair, complexion, class, “swag,” and sexiness issues, we — black men and women — are filled with enough standards-of attraction-based angst to choke a team of walruses, and we need a little catharsis; a purging that’ll allow us to bury our ghosts of standards past once and for all.

    i didnt get enough sleep to be able to come up with a comment that will get read by the masses, but did want to point out that this above statement by Sir Champ is FULL OF WIN.

    what i took from the past few days of posts was that there is a lot of finger pointing when we all do the same d@mn thing to each other. some might not want to admit in in a forum full of vsp’s we’d like to electronically (or in 3D) get down with. others posted with full honesty.

    the goal of vsb is to fight crime and i appreciate them being the mediators that hopefully can get the players back in the locker rooms and in practice and the owners back in the boxes counting their moneys.

    oh wait. wrong mediator.

    in thinking about this though, my list wouldnt make any sense to anyone but my girls who know me in real life. i’d want to take the best parts of my exes to create the ideal man for me. but since that’s no fun, i’ll lean back and enjoy the friday festivities with some mini cupcakes and sparkling rose.

    Reply ↓

  54. let’s see:

    gabrielle union’s smile, skin tone and complexion
    michelle obama’s intelligence, companionship and loyalty.
    oluchi onweagba’s height
    lisa lampanelli’s humor
    sage steele’s sports acumen
    alicia keys’ generosity and willingness to give
    selita ebanks’ face and body

    yeah i think that’s it.

    Reply ↓

  56. -George Clooney’s/Denzel Washington’s swag
    -tall would be nice (no shots fired, pls)
    -I don’t know any LIVING man who has a great heart, so I’m going with…….”heart of gold” like David from the Bible.
    -Sensitive, but no crybaby
    -Medium build. His weight should compliment his height/body frame. Doesn’t need to be muscular. Aware of health, and will do what is necessary to be healthy.
    -Intelligent. Doesn’t have to have myriads of accolades/degrees, but I should be able to talk to you about worldy as well as everyday life disussions. Ben Carson would be an example of a intelligent man who oozes humility. I don’t need a pious “know-it-all”.
    -Loves intimacy. Sex is…..well……(wo)man’s best friend (lol), but not always on the mind.
    -Cliff Huxtable’s love for children.
    -Wolfgang Puck’s prowess in the kitchen
    -Someone who loves nature. I stay glued to Animal Planet/National Geographic Wild…so…..justsaying. lol.

    -someone who will put up with me–all in all. I can be a mess as well as an angel. Just need some guy (with some of the attibutes mentioned, *fingers crossed*) to go with the flow of M.O.I. :)

    Reply ↓

    • Crap, I forgot about Humor: loves sarcasm, subtle, dirty, and dark (I swear, if he loves “The Office”, I’ll loose it. LOL) Has to make ME laugh, if anything.

      Reply ↓

    • David from the Bible also sent a guy to die so he could be with his wife, in addition to likely killing hundreds of people.

      Reply ↓

      • Everyone has their imperfections. He also repented for those crimes as well.
        God still thought he was a good dude. *shrugs*

        Reply ↓

      • Not saying they don’t exsist, I just haven’t meet one like that. David from the WORD was as close as I could get. *kayneshrug*

        Reply ↓

        • *met.
          Bollocks! For ONCE, whenever I comment, I’d like to have an grammatical-error free post.
          *looks out the window*
          SOMEDAY……..

          Reply ↓

  57. Sanaa Lathan’s skin tone, Kerry Washington’s smile, Nia Long’s disposition, Jill Scott’s…something…(I don’t know, something about her is f*cking sexy to me), Rosario Dawson’s eyes, Sofia Vergara’s walk, Alicia Keys’ meaty-ass legs, Michelle Obama’s ‘that’s MY man-ness”, Meagan Good’s D.S.L’s, Esther Baxter’s ass, any woman’s average breasts, plus what I can only imagine to be Rihanna’s $ex drive (somebody PLEASE get that girl a d!ck. Clearly she’s aching for one).

    Yeah…that should do it.

    Reply ↓

      • You KNOW women know not to step to the Prez! Michelle just gives off that vibe like, “I’m holding tHis DOWN in ways you can’t compete with. He is mine!” lol

        Reply ↓

      • Alicia got with them sandwiches after the 2nd album. White bread make you juicy. Lol

        That’s oddly the only thing I like about Meagan Good. Go figure…

        Reply ↓

    • DSLs?

      SMH and LOL.

      I had a guy tell me that……..then when I found out what that meant…self-consciousness ensued. I shy away from lipgloss. LMAO

      Reply ↓

      • Don’t! LOL, I had a white guy in high school tell me that. I knee’d in him the nuts.

        But, then I got older and thought that maybe that’s not such a bad trait to have. The current bf appreciates! TMI…maybe, but…

        My lip gloss STAYS poppin. So should yours. Let ‘em be great (for the right man though, not just great in the streets with any man…but I’m sure you knew that ;) )

        Reply ↓

    • Yo, #cosign on that Jill Scott “somethingness”. That woman is REGAL. I’d drink her bath water.
      Ok, maybe not, but something in the neighborhood like that.
      Combine that with the something that lives behind Erykah Badu’s eyes, and that woman might be God’s wife.

      #imjustsayin

      Reply ↓

      • They both just have a mystique (although respectively different between the two) that draws a brotha in. Some people just have it like that. I went to school with a chick like that. She wasn’t exceedingly attractive, physically, but every man (and some women) wanted to be with her once they met.

        Reply ↓

  58. >insert mad scientist laugh here<

    *in no particular order except for number one*

    1- Derrick Lee from the Chicago cubs (formerly of the Marlins) Body and face http://www.flickr.com/photos/max_rose/1252283651/
    2- Idris Elba Swag
    3- Delroy Lindos quiet intensity… and he just looks like he always smells good.( He is my old man crush, dont tell nobody)
    4- Talib Kwelis lyrical gift
    5- My daughters fathers schlong ….ijs
    6- My current sweeties stroke and "skills" ….ijs
    7- Kevin Hart and Deray Davis sense of humor
    8- My Grandpa comittment to family ( had 8 kids with ONLY my Grandma and married over 50 yrs till death did them part)
    9- My Pastors knowledge of the word, and ability to break it down
    10- Marc Marcel and Will Da Real ones poetry prowess (you tube 'em)
    11- Malcom X comittment to our people
    12- This guy I know is a great cook- we can throw that in there for good measure plus I dont cook breakfast on the weekend unless you earned pancake points the night before)
    13- Rev Runs fathering skills, with a twist of Cliff Huxtable
    14- A mental rolladex of music like nobodys business
    15- Foot massages like that Korean guy at the nail shop
    16- The ability to talk to me like Dr.Phil when my emotional a$$ needs some grounding
    17- A smile like Leons ~im am sucker for a charming smile~
    18- Be my best friend and talk to me for hours on end
    19- Just a touch of Lenny Kravitz eccentricness, cause I am a little special too lol
    20- Be my "Giving Tree" (laughing because some upthread mentioned Shel Silverstien lol) … I know thats not a person, but I think that my true soul mate will understand what that means.

    Im gonna stop there… but I think it's a pretty little monster :)

    Reply ↓

  59. Hmmm, let’s see:

    1. Humor of Veronica Corningstone
    2. Carries herself like Joan from Mad Men
    3. Tolerance for infidelity like Magic Johnson’s wife
    4. Does Claire Huxtable things like raise a family of kids, where none of them look like each other and they fall at opposite ends of the color spectrum, without raising an ounce of suspicion.
    5. Is Karrine Steffans, Michelle Tucker, Esperanza Gomez, Cindy Hope, Nyomii Banxx, and Meghan Vaughn in the bedroom.
    6. Writes billion dollar stories like the Harry Potter lady. Stay at home Dad here!
    7. Can mesh well with my personality, creating that Martin and Gina vibe.
    8. “Is the perfect verse over a tight beat” However he said it.
    9. Doesn’t like Love Jones. Seriously, that movie kinda sucks. Simba and Nala had a more believable love story.
    10. Is good at basketball and video games, but not to the point where she can beat me. lol. My pride can’t take that.

    Reply ↓

    • 3. Tolerance for infidelity like Magic Johnson’s wife

      I’m mad at this one….all that tolerance got her husband that monster.

      Reply ↓

      • Hahaha. In Magic’s defense: You are the biggest star in Los Angeles during the 80′s. The Lakers are the hottest ticket in town, and you are the main driving force behind that interest. You grew up in Michigan, and haven’t been exposed to this lifestyle before. Everywhere you go, people want a piece of you. It’s impossible not to give in.

        Reply ↓

              • Thank you! I saw it for the first time last year. I just don’t get it. It’s not Tyler Perry bad, but it pretty much sucks.

                Reply ↓

                  • Hahaha. Crossover might be the most disgusting movie I have ever seen. Just Wright is pretty terrible, too.

                    Reply ↓

                    • If you guys think those movies were bad…you’ve missed a great deal of the movies the black community offers.
                      Motives 1 & 2
                      Something like a business (Starring Kevin Hart)
                      Stomp the yard 2
                      A day in the life
                      just another day
                      doughboys
                      anything with master p in it
                      Cover(about down low brothas that have secret phrases to get laid)
                      Anything where Ja Rule gets more than two lines
                      Anything with Usher in it
                      Anything with Ginuwine in it

                      simply by comparison…Love Jones gets a pass
                      And crossover…its among good company but still near the top of that list….it reminds me of Lottery Ticket.

                      Anyways, movie synopsis moment over…Just had to defend LJ…I have a great respect for the sensibilities covered in that movie and the palpable romance between the two. Its an experience movie, one that evokes the emotional stuff. I don’t think it was ever supposed to be technically internally valid.

                    • Hold up, I actuall like “In The Mix”

                      I know it’s a terrible movie, but I have a crush on Sloan from Entourage. Can’t spell her real name.

                      I’m tempted to watch Stomp The Yard 2 on Netflix instant queue, but I may have had enough of Truth University for one lifetime.

                      I don’t know of these others, but I will seek them out.

    • 3. Killing me. Straight up killing me.
      6. See #3.
      7. I’m pretty sure you mean pre-1996 (or whenever he started stalking her).
      10. I so feel this…matter of fact, she has to be able to take an L. Two quick stories:

      i) My ex and I were playing Wii Sports Baseball and she was up 2-1 in the bottom of the third (Wii Sports Baseball games are 3 innings). I put two over the fence and she didn’t talk to me for an hour.

      ii) This girl and I started talking, and it turned out she played a little ball in HS. We decided to play a game of one-on-one at the park as our first outing. Everyone kept asking me if I was going to let her win, and I said no for two reasons: 1) if she’s an athlete she’s likely a competitor and wouldn’t want to let her win; and 2) I wasn’t about to lose and let her think I’m a bad athlete (which she may have tried to extend into other areas). I beat her 25-5 and 5-0 in a second game. We haven’t gone out since, and in all likelihood never will again. I’m fine with that.

      Reply ↓

      • The competition thing can be tricky. If you beat them too badly, they may never speak to you again. If you show signs of letting them win, they get angry. And if they happen to beat you legitimately? All of Hades breaks loose. T.O, Chad Johnson, and Desean Jackson would be put to shame by some of the post-game celebrations I have seen. It’s embarrassing. lol

        Reply ↓

        • T.O, Chad Johnson, and Desean Jackson would be put to shame by some of the post-game celebrations I have seen.

          DEAD.

          Reply ↓

        • Co-sign as well. Had to recently break contact with a lady I went on a couple dates with earlier this month because she first got offended when I let her win one out of three games at bowling…..then got upset as I beat her by 40, 70, and 110 (!) pins the second time around.

          Reply ↓

      • Think about it. It’s a good trait to have. They are still together. She seems genuinely happy when I see her on TV. Maybe that’s the secret. Cookie is ahead of the curve.

        Reply ↓

            • Depends on your definition of cheating. Typically, when they had extra marital affairs, they did so with the consent of their husbands or fathers, but on occassion a Spartan woman would find a man of worthy build on her own and propose that he proposition her husband for a try at her so she could bear stronger children. Not necessarily cheating, but cheating with consent.
              #funfact

              Reply ↓

      • Same here, and I’m a man…..I have zero tolerance for cheating women. Relationship over, no second chances.

        (And before someone asks, I would expect any woman I’m with to have a similar mindset, but then again, I have never come close to cheating on any woman. Takes long enough to find a decent one—why would I fcuk that up when I do find one?)

        Reply ↓

    • @alvin

      3. Tolerance for infidelity like Magic Johnson’s wife

      is this something you also extend to her as well?

      5. Is Karrine Steffans, Michelle Tucker, Esperanza Gomez, Cindy Hope, Nyomii Banxx, and Meghan Vaughn in the bedroom.

      that is a whole lot of woman there in that bedroom sir alvin… take your vitamins daily, drink plenty of fluids and don’t forget to stretch!!

      Reply ↓

      • 3. Absolutely not! lol. Some double standards have their place in life.

        5. Yeah, I know. I’m getting destroyed every time. But, that’s okay with me.

        Reply ↓

      • Okay, just curious…but why is he being attacked on the infidelity thing…if its his ideal?

        It in all earnest is a great trait to have and shows a great deal of maturity and avoids that whole tit for tat; quid pro quo; childish mindset that women hate (to be on the receiving end of) so much.

        Like religion, it is a personal thing and reaction is a passive trait. Again, why is it a bad thing that it goes one way? It could be rewritten as: will be the bigger person when I make mistakes

        Reply ↓

  60. Let’s see, if I could build ‘em, he would have…

    Neil deGrasse Tyson’s intellect
    The Rock’s tight azz
    Dwight Howard’s shoulders
    Vin Diesel’s voice
    Pimp C’s azzholish bravado
    Idris Elba’s height
    Rico Strong’s “skills” (NSFW, so plz don’t google if you’re there!)
    Barack Obama’s command of public speaking

    Reply ↓

    • re: rico strong
      can not deny that he has a nice piece, does the world some good with what he does with his tongue, i don’t mind his body but there is just something about him that turns me off outside of that… maybe its the corny azz hair cuts or his tribal tattoos (he’s no mr. marcus) i don’t know… but again i will say the things he does with those lips and that tongue can cause world peace, stave off world hunger and balance the USA budget!

      Reply ↓

      • I dig the tattoos, and his tongue skills are quite a thing of beauty.

        His haircuts do be on straight cornball status…lol

        Reply ↓

      • the things he does with those lips and that tongue can cause world peace, stave off world hunger and balance the USA budget!

        *makes sure to google when i leave work
        *can’t wait to meet yoles in real life someday.

        Reply ↓

        • BE sure to do that. I’ma even follow up with you on twitter to make sure you don’t forget… LOL

          Reply ↓

        • KB

          you know how when we have spoken about adult cinema here, it was bought up that in those films the black men unless under unusual circumstances are typically selfish and cheap in the oral area?!?!?! NOT Rico… he goes IN… deep mouth first… taking in all the scenery and often going around and saying hello to the neighbor if you know what i am saying ;)
          he IS the Real Deal in that respect

          Reply ↓

  61. Toni Childs without the Toni Childs “crazy” and the sensibilities of Kerry Washington and the wit of Aisha Tyler. Better yet, just give me Kerry Washington. Yeah, Kerry will do.

    Reply ↓

  63. My protoype:
    -Natural hair that smells good so that i can play in it
    -A very bright smile with nice cheeks
    -Bright, pretty eyes
    -Great conversation
    -Great sense of humor/silly
    -Brown/dark skinned (ALL light skinned women are CRAZY)
    -Passionate/Talented/Creative (something about a woman with some skill…)
    -Big ole booty, with matching hips and thighs
    -Good fasion sense
    -Half hood, half college educated
    -Christian (moreover, a genuine relationship with God)
    -No kids
    -Nerdy
    -Loves music
    -Considerate/has a heart for ppl
    -Freaky
    -Open to new things
    -Articulate
    -Supportive
    -Can cook/foodie
    -Homemaker
    -Has goals
    -Shorter than me
    -Great kisser
    -Has hobbies/friends
    -A bit needy
    -Very affectionate
    -AND SHE’D HAVE A FINE MAMA

    Stank you very much.

    Reply ↓

    • “Natural hair that smells good so that i can play in it”

      ^YES, and let the chruch say “AMEN!!”

      Reply ↓

    • @MictheMessenger

      “A bit needy”

      Very interesting…….. *strokes chin and ponders the subconscious of men*

      Reply ↓

      • They will never admit it out loud, but most guys do want their woman to be a bit needy. I’ve had problems in relationships before because I wasn’t acting needy enough, and they took it as me not caring about them enough.

        Reply ↓

        • @Around the Way Girl

          “I wasn’t acting needy enough, and they took it as me not caring about them”

          Same here! WOW! The worst part is that you actually DO care deeply. So when questioned, you’re like…WTF? LOL

          Reply ↓

          • Just like alot of women want their men to be providers, alot of brothas actually WANT to be providers. I’m old school.

            I mean, who doesn’t want to be neeeded? And face it, yall need us, and we need yall.

            Reply ↓

            • @MictheMessenger

              No opposition here! : ) I agree with the mutual need and I value a bit of the old school of thought just like yourself . I was pleasantly surprise to see a man “admitting” to being ok with slight neediness. Most of the time we are constantly being reminded of men needing their space. So kudos to your honesty! : )

              Reply ↓

            • I mean, who doesn’t want to be neeeded? And face it, yall need us, and we need yall.

              this is the most under-rated truth of the day.

              Reply ↓

          • CNotes,
            Right??? It’s like they compare the way you act to the way their exes acted, or the way their boys’ girlfriends act, and because you’re not exhibiting any similar crazy/emotional chick tendencies they start questioning things.

            Mitch,
            I get that yall want to feel needed, and I can dig it. We want to feel needed too. Men just have to realize that some women are a little “cooler” than others; meaning, some women like their space, don’t trip about what you do when they’re not around, and don’t need to be all up under somebody all the time. We still love you just as much as the clingy ones do. :)

            Reply ↓

    • “Brown/dark skinned (ALL light skinned women are CRAZY)”
      Really? *Side eye*… You havent met the right light skin woman

      Reply ↓

    • “-Brown/dark skinned (ALL light skinned women are CRAZY)”

      i call Flag on the Mother F-ing Play…. FLAG i say!!!!!!

      not crazy, eccentric, unusual, passionate, driven, focused etc…

      #thatisall

      Reply ↓

      • @Yoles and @8252

        But seriously, every light skint woman i’ve ever dated has been nucking futs. And not like obviously crazy, either. Like over time, the crazy just started oozing out of their nostrils or something.

        It’s cool though. Some guys like crazy. Besides, most crazy women have AMAZING chex.

        Wait, does that mean all light skint women have AMAZING chex?
        *ponders the existence of light skint women….*o_O

        Reply ↓

      • He’s just running game trying to get light skinned women to NOW hit on him and prove to him that they aren’t crazy. Don’t fall for game!

        Reply ↓

    • (ALL light skinned women are CRAZY)
      I resent that! And even if it’s a little bit true… it’s a good kinda crazy :P

      A bit needy
      Quite refreshing to hear a guy say this.

      Reply ↓

  65. Idris Elba’s smile (I met him in person once, and that thing is GOOD), straight teeth and complexion
    Extremely into seafood (if ya know what I’m saying)
    D’Angelo’s voice and musical genius
    Donald Glover’s sense of humor
    Donald Trump’s money
    A sense of adventure
    Ambitious
    The swagger of Thomas Crowne from “The Thomas Crowne Affair” (yeah, I know he’s fictional)
    Jason Statham’s physical build
    Larry Fitzgerald’s locs
    A trained chef and massage therapist
    A ridiculous sex game where his pleasure actually DEPENDS on how much pleasure he gives me, LOL

    Reply ↓

    • “A ridiculous sex game where his pleasure actually DEPENDS on how much pleasure he gives me, LOL”

      that can be dangerous … josie’s been know to overheat on that tip

      Reply ↓

    • A ridiculous sex game where his pleasure actually DEPENDS on how much pleasure he gives me, LOL

      They make guys who don’t already fit this?

      Reply ↓

        • Mature is a synonym for aged. A lot of the guys you name are older. And if you put it all those qualities together the closest proxy I can find is that most interesting man in the world commercial guy. Maybe you should invest in some deworming medicine and just start dating older guys.

          Reply ↓

              • LOL. You’re silly. The dude could have come into an inheritance and be a trust fund baby, therefore still be young with money. But, his dad could be like Warren Buffet, who’s still frugal, even rich, and makes his kids work, so that would mean he wasn’t a complete douche just because he’s rich.

                I think probably the most unrealistic thing about my dream guy is that he’d be as attractive as I mention and still be interested in settling down, being faithful, and being devoted to someone other than himself. At least, that seems to be the phenomenon in NYC…

                Reply ↓

                • Actually, If he was raised religious and conflicted about his sexuality, went to straight camp to fix it, came out looking to settle down to get away from the temptation he faced in his volunteer firefighting unit and live the model pious life, then I could see it.

                  Or he could just be really religious. But your screen name makes me think you aren’t the religious type.

                  Reply ↓

                  • I go to church. I’m not fanatical about it, though. No, I don’t want someone fresh out of straight camp trying to stay chaste from men by settling down with me. I think if you’re gay, you should be gay. But yeah, I do hate that if you’re straight and an attractive man, you have to be a ho. And I mainly hate that, because I’m not a ho, and I’m the female equivalent. But I just thought I’d put my dream guy out there, since this is fantasy day. :)

                    Reply ↓

                    • Picky aren’t we? Ruling a man out just because the skeletons in his closet are gagged and bedazzled. I was just messing around. Sorry for assuming, I thought Jesus gave up on women born after 83 when Nicki Minaj came out.

                • Not true. I’m sure there are some guys out here looking for that. Actually, there aren’t. We play around until we meet that one woman who learned the cheat codes to dating and breaks us down. I’m pretty sure I read that in Deuteronomy.

                  But……NY is a different animal. The city encourages a single lifestyle. There’s a unique duality to NYC in that it is arguably the most romantic city in terms of amenities, landscapes, and venues, but is occupied by the most self-centered people.

                  Reply ↓

                  • “Not true. I’m sure there are some guys out here looking for that. Actually, there aren’t.”

                    ____________________________________________

                    And true about the self-centered people here.

                    Reply ↓

                    • And you totally cherry picked my comment.

                      There are some self-centered people here, no doubt. But there are some truly amazing and genuine people as well. NY exists at the extremes. lol. From weather to personalities. Keep your head up, the simp you’re looking for could be just around the corner.

                  • “Actually, there aren’t. We play around until we meet that one woman who learned the cheat codes to dating and breaks us down.”

                    I’m into video games… I know I needed one for Final Fantasy. Is there a book with the cheat codes to dating?

                    Reply ↓

                    • Which Final Fantasy? I judge people who defile the purity of 7. And which one do you think is the best (hint above)?

                    • Final Fantasy 8. But thats the first one I ever played. I can only compare that to 12.

                      Remembering 8… It was 1999… I was a senior in H.S.

                    • You cheated for Final Fantasy? It’s turn based! Come on. We have to do better.

                    • Get Final Fantasy 7, the others are just foreplay and canoodling.

          • “Maybe you should invest in some deworming medicine and just start dating older guys.”

            …and I’m gone…. please tell my Mama I loved her. Make sure they take care of my dog

            Reply ↓

          • “Maybe you should invest in some deworming medicine and just start dating older guys.”

            Why you made me think of that commercial with the heartworm medicine for dogs? LMAO!

            Reply ↓

    • “A ridiculous sex game where his pleasure actually DEPENDS on how much pleasure he gives me, LOL”

      I love givers!!!

      Reply ↓

  66. Does anyone think that The champ is setting us up for some kind of social experiment to test the difference between how enumerated, detailed and premeditated the lists of women are in relation to the those of men? Guinea Pigs.

    Reply ↓

  67. Ok for shiggles here it goes:

    Tyrese’s skin
    The Rock’s Body (back in wwf days)
    Lamar Odom’s height
    Idris Elba’s accent
    Wale’s way with words
    Ryan Leslie’s creativity
    Dwight Howard’s smile
    Kevin Hart’s humor
    Obama’s ambition (SN: I bet he and Michelle have so amazing sex and I wish I had the time to explain the scene that just played in my head)

    Well I’m sure I’ll think of more shortly but that’s just a prototype

    Reply ↓

  68. A man who understands sensuality like Marvin Gaye.
    A man who is confident like Jordan.
    A man as thorough, cool, business and street savvy as Shawn Carter.
    A dude that is as charasmatic as Sade’s “Tar Baby”.
    A dude that can make me laugh and can be silly like Adam from Man vs Food
    A man as hetero, strong, and courageous as King Leonidas (300).
    A dude whose sex appeal matches mine LOL but seriously tho.
    A man who loves me like Jesus loves the church.

    Reply ↓

  69. 2011 male version of Wierd Science

    Best dressed dude on the planet
    Confident but never cocky
    Idris’ Accent
    6’7 Height
    Passionate and loving
    Perfect balance of street smarts/book smarts
    faithful
    non-liar
    low cut caesar (waves so deep they make you sea sick)
    Colgate smile
    Business savy
    In the top 50 richest people in the world
    well rounded, social butterfly
    Friendly
    Family man
    no kids
    goal oriented

    Reply ↓

    • I can’t forget that he needs Chris Brown’s dancing ability and as I saw someone up thread mention Kevin Hart’s sense of humor

      Reply ↓

  70. Ok, so I’m almost embarrassed at my excitement and anxiousness to get to the comments section after reading the original article…. anyone else?

    Reply ↓

  71. :: dancing & party-ing it up at my “Leaving Old Job for One With Benefits” shin-dig. Throwing tips at the male dancers who are rubbed down in baby oil, but is dressed a 401K form and a paycheck with FICA taken out…::

    Oh, hey, I have totally forgotten that you were here!
    What’s my perfect man, you asked? Mmm… let’s see…
    The best way that I can describe my ‘perfect man’ would be…
    He has to come correct.

    Reply ↓

  72. Here is my list….
    -kisses that envelope me with passion
    - nice teeth, or a little gap (something about a gap gets me)
    - a football players build
    - Brown skinned
    -dimples
    expressive eyes
    -tall
    -spiritual
    -family oriented
    -driven and goal oriented
    -loving

    BUT if I had to pull apart my fav male celebs to build him, here it goes:
    Idris’ accent, skin tone..Wait lets just go with all Idris. With a side of Micheal Ealy’s eyes, R.Kelly’s singing voice, some Rico Strong techniques/skills, the street cred/loyalty of Omar from the Wire…. and that would be PERFECTION to me..

    Reply ↓

  73. Since we’re on some Weird Science sh*t…here’s my perfect woman:

    Clare Huxtable’s nurturing prowess
    Bria Myles’ girlish nature, chocolate skin and that @ss…oooohhh, that @ss
    Lauryn Hill’s intelligence, humility and Hip-Hop headiness (circa 97-01)
    Kerry Washington’s lips
    Jada Pinkett Smith’s coolness and stature
    Nia Long’s seductive eyes and laid-back personality
    Janet Jackson’s smile
    Jazmine Cashmere’s freakiness
    Jill Scott’s sunny disposition
    Meagan Goode’s sense of style and effortless sexiness
    Jean Grae’s voice (I know what you mean Rog)
    Vashtie Kola’s creativity and nerdiness
    Amanda Diva’s sense of humor
    Tracee Ellis Ross’ curly big hair
    Coretta Scott King’s faithfulness

    Yeah…that’s perfection.

    Reply ↓

  74. Take Rashida Jones, put her in a blender with Lauryn Hill, throw in some Beyonce(cliche I know) and Res. As far as the proportions of each…surprise me.

    Reply ↓

  75. I was almost tempted not to comment on today’s post only because I have no particular type but after thinking about it I know exactly what I want:

    Exactly Whomever God Deems Worthy

    Yup thats it. Nothing else to add.

    Reply ↓

      • I do and I don’t. What I’ve come to realize is that what I want may not be whats for me. So yeah I could easily make a list (I have previously) and I’ve gotten to meet and date dudes with several characteristics off of that list but since I’m currently single maybe those things weren’t really for me.

        But just to indulge you a little I wouldn’t mind having a man that is considerate, passionate, a communicator, supportive, handsome and attractive to me, creative, honest, ambitious, one whose willing to be a team player in a relationship alternately leading and following as necessary, and a complement to me and I to him s.exually and otherwise. He could be my xanax when I get crazy and my red bull when I need a pick me up.

        So how’s that? Not too much to ask for right…

        Reply ↓

        • “He could be my xanax when I get crazy and my red bull when I need a pick me up.”

          Nice. I like that. But btw… yeah, that IS WAAY too much to ask for. =) I Keed.

          Reply ↓

            • Take Rashida Jones, put her in a blender with Lauryn Hill, throw in some Beyonce(cliche I know) and Res. As far as the proportions of each…surprise me.

              Its posted right above your original post. Its shallow. I didn’t go in depth. But I’m lazy. I own it.

              Reply ↓

              • oh damn I’m blind as hell then LOL *cleans glasses and scrolls up* yes yes now I see it.

                I don’t know about those combos Jay. You creating a frankenstein for real. But its your list

                Reply ↓

                  • are you talking physical or personality characteristics of these women? You gotta break it down more because a humorous, singer who is creative with a touch of brilliance but quite illiterate doesn’t sound appealing. at. all.

                    Reply ↓

                    • Lol @ me defending my frankenstein monster/imaginary lover… But where does illiteracy come in?? I kept my list simple. As far as personality and looks go… mix it up. The women I chose, I like so much that it doesn’t matter what goes where. I say put them in the lottery ball machine and let the pieces pop up where they may. Rashida Jones is amazing. Good genes, accomplished, funny, down to earth beautiful…. Lauryn Hill was the prototype for natural hair and beauty at the time that such became widespread. Res is gorgeous, and kinda funky and eclectic. And Beyonce and Michelle Tucker…. I don’t think I need to explain those. =)

                    • Beyonce is illiterate. And whats wrong with a good weave every now and then?!? You just gotta find the right woman who will let you pull on it (trust me some of us don’t mind if its for the right reasons) Rashida and Res are good additions so I don’t have any complaints about that..actually you get a + and a gold star for even knowing who Res is.
                      but who the hell is Michelle Tucker?!?

  79. My ideal man:

    -thinks 5’7 is the sexiest height EVER!
    -adores huge smiles and thinks facial moles are cute
    -sometimes stops arguments by hugging and kissing
    -lives for the taste of Gumbo, Jambalaya and Stewed Chicken
    -makes harmless fun of me a little bit
    -can handle receiving a harmless joke
    -appreciates a conversationalist who has quiet moments
    -doesn’t mind listening to music 68.5% of the time
    -gives attention but pays no mind (read: handles a woman’s attitude like a champ)
    -is not disturbed by a bad sense of direction or a reliance on GPS : )
    -makes me laugh until no sound comes out of my mouth
    -is ok with giving in sometimes
    -loves the taste of Unicorn Meat ; )

    Reply ↓

      • Honestly, the looks thing was difficult for me because I don’t really have an “ideal”. For instance, a nice muscular body is nice, but so is a slim body and even stocky. What ultimately makes it work for me is how a man carries it. I have absolutely no skin tone preference (light/dark), I just would like it to be clean and as acne free as possible. Lol So, ultimately I went with a list that I was sure about.

        Reply ↓

    • -gives attention but pays no mind (read: handles a woman’s attitude like a champ)

      This sounds like Doublethink. But I’m willing to give it a try.

      Reply ↓

        • Lol, it’s cool. I’ve been called em all. Your list was practical and real tho but strangely almost out of a movie or sumthin. Love Jones 2. J/K.

          Reply ↓

  80. The perfect man for my perfect world…

    Donald Glover’s humor and randomness. I feel like he would get me really well.
    Jay’s mind. I think he’s brilliant.
    Blair Underwood’s smile
    Mechad Brooks’ height and build. And that bald head. That nucca gets me err time.
    Tyrese’s complexion, but he can take all that illiterateness somewhere else.
    Richard Gere’s eyes. They seem…piercing, like he could look at you and through you at the same time.
    Sangs like Eric Benet.
    Mos Def’s accent. As a BX native, a brotha wih a strong NY accent, where most words sound like they end in “uh”…does something to me. But he has to be able to switch it up for the boardroom and sound like he belongs. Like…Isaiah Washington.
    I’ll also be taking Dr. Burke’s voice, the tone and ish.
    A mixture of Heathcliff and Rev Run’s fatherly natures. They were/are good to their kids.
    Scooter’s goofiness. (Cress Williams, when he was on Living Single)
    Andre 3000’s poetic sensibility
    Triple X’s strength
    Busta’s tongue. Do I really need to explain why? (Listen to him on Look At Me Now or the Welcome To My Hood remix.)
    Leonardo DiCaprio’s sense of adventure, when he was Jack in Titanic.
    Corey Booker’s heart for the people.
    Obama’s intellect
    And I have no person to match it with, but some godliness and faith would be nice. Like Liz said, not perfect, but tries and makes me want to be better and get closer to Him.

    Reply ↓

    • “Busta’s tongue. Do I really need to explain why? (Listen to him on Look At Me Now or the Welcome To My Hood remix.)”

      *thumbs up*

      Reply ↓

  81. Here’s mine:
    Ice Cube
    that’s it. He’s a successful in his career, he’s been with the same wife for forever (in Hollyweird years their marriage has lasted forever), I’ve seen him in interviews and his on-air persona seems to be genuine enough to make me believe he’s probably like that in “real life”, he’s sexy as hell…not in a Boris Kodjoe way but that way has never attracted me. (I had a crush on “Raynathan” from Sugar Hill (ya’ll remember that movie? circa 1993…) for FOREVER).
    back to Cube…he seems like we could be that homie i could just blow smoke & chill with; just laid-back, like we wouldnt be arguing over no bullsh!t wit some mess behind it
    so that’s mine…

    Reply ↓

  82. –The apostle Paul’s faith in God (u said we could do anything–its not too much to ask him to be a saint. But he MUST want to marry)
    –Dr. Heathcliff Huxtables sense of humor, ROMANCE and respect/admiration for smart, confident women.
    –Hill Harper’s writing and speaking abilities
    –Morris Chestnutt’s smile
    –Michael Jackson’s compassion and humanitarian spirit
    –The Neely’s cooking ability
    –Matthew McConnaughey’s accent
    –Morris Chestnutt’s height
    –Idris Elba’s swag
    –incredible work ethic, but still makes time for me.
    –he should be an engineer/architect or surgeon.

    Reply ↓

  83. Hmm…i think if i were to attempt to buld me a woman, i’d want her to look like the mixture of kerry washington and dania ramirez in she hate me. put them two ninjas together and you got me.

    i’d just take chicks wholesale mostly. like, lauren london. or the darkskint BOMBSHELL BEAUTY with her in Pharrell’s “frontin’” video.

    but really…lol…

    God i just need a sweet b*tch
    you know sombody not to fast but not to slow
    cause i dont want to have it all my damn self
    and life aint easy
    you know you just want somebody by your side to help you smooth that thang out
    you know what i’m talking about
    and at this point i’m not being picky
    she dosen’t even to have a big ol a**, you know
    just something well propotioned to her body, you know, a nice lil tail, you know

    so much wisdom in the love below.

    Reply ↓

    • Oh lawd, I forgot how much I died at that line. Probably because I died. Meant to comment on that. My grandma is splaying spades in heaven frowning at you right now, Champster.

      Reply ↓

    • That’s actually a good idea. :)

      I think my ultimate mate compliments me; what I lack, he doesn’t and what he lacks I don’t.

      Reply ↓

  86. Can I just have an ultra freaky Christian woman w/a nice booty that looks like Mya? Not askin for much…..

    Reply ↓

  87. My likes are wide open. There are so many types of good, so I’ll stick to must haves:

    A loving, firm, monogamous, responsible, easy spirited, non social climbing, optimist

    Tweeks and upgrades that I am likely to request during the final stage of construction may or may not include:

    Being a slim, non-corporate suit type, casual, creative, entrepreneur (not in the broke or rich category), who regularly incorporates math/reasoning/science skills in his career and/or lifestyle.

    Must destroy and rebuild for good measure, if any trace of the following traits find themselves in the product:

    Gossipy/frenemy (mean- girl tendencies)… checking up on me (stalking tendencies)… wanting to put it in my booty…slick, condescending frequent jab giving azz mouth…frankly, he must not possess any low esteemed lady traits or be into men, even if he only considered it that one time, for 07.638 seconds, during MLK Day, in 1986. :lol: :lol:

    Reply ↓

  88. First Build-A-Bear. Now its Build-A-B*tch.

    Lets see,…hmmnnn….
    Sannaa Lathan all day, erry day. All night, erry night and on leap year too.
    She encompasses it all: S*x appeal. Girl next dooredness. An undeniable, yet natural and humble beauty. Curvaceous enough to look great both in AND out of clothes. She glistens with her smooth brown skin that has a deep golden honey hue undertone so delictable, that she makes graham crackers look like saltines. I’m convinced her taste is as sweet to the belly as grape is to the jelly. I would sniff her vajajay for aromatherapy. If it were to queef (which I am sure it would NEVER), it would play Beethoven’s ‘Fur Elise’. I would use her love juices as sweetener for my tea. She IS the daughter of Eve.

    See for yourself.
    http://madamenoire.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/sanaa-lathan.jpg

    No need to build a perfect woman, when she already walks the earth in all her glory. Here’s to you Sannaa. *raises glass*

    Mind
    All of the above coupled with Clair Huxtable’s wit, charm, personality, intellect, intelligence and ability to balance a successful career and home responsibilities. I’m done.
    *Feels molecules in atmosphere begin to shift.*
    Wait a minute, somethings not right. Whats going on?
    It would seem that just the mere thought of such a combination has caused a rip in the space time continuum. A portal has just opened up in front of me. The world cannot handle such a woman. What have I done?!!

    Reply ↓

  89. To build the perfect partner??? Hhmmm…all I keep thinking is if you build the perfect partner for yourself, they’ll reject you because you’re not what they’re looking for.

    But if we’re going in for sh*ts & giggles, I’m game. Some of the responses from the ladies have me laughing so much I’m half dead from lack of air.

    This is actually hard for me because I don’t get drippy over actors or athletes. Nice to look at but nothing I can taste or feel so there’s nothing to compare my fantasies about guys I know & might have chance at to giving ya’ll a visual.

    I just don’t have a ‘type’. Meaning I don’t have a repeatable or reliable pattern of male visual/physical yummy that I’m attracted to. And because of that, I hear ‘I didn’t think that’s was your type’ from folks I know all the freaking time.

    I do have 2 absolute Must Haves in for my “perfect guy”:

    Must have a “can’t keep my hand off it” butt. You know the type of man-butt that makes your hands itch just to touch it. Doesn’t have to super tight & can’t be bigger than mine cuz I got enough booty for the both of us.

    Must have a great smile-gets me all vaporous & whatnot.

    Looks-well to be honest, if I’m drippy-drippy looking at a man, then I like. If I’m bone dry, I don’t like. I like men that have a swimmers build or broad like a Samoan with every type in between a visual/physical smorgasbord. I just don’t like fat or overweight guys. I’m not built to take extra weight & I’m very active. Don’t need some guy wheezing & sh*t just from walking around a block. (Remember The History of the World, part 1 by Mel Brooks-When Empress Nympho, Madeline Klaine, was selecting soldiers for the orgy, “No, no, yes, no, no, NO, no, YES!”-that’s works for me, lol!!! Not the orgy idea but the selection process.)

    Height-between 5ft 5 & 6ft 3. Really. As long as the guy isn’t a hunchback, height doesn’t mean much to me.

    Complexion-really could care less. As long as his skin is acne free & he doesn’t use bleach, I’m cool.

    Man bits-I learned the hard way (no pun) that anything mandingo isn’t working for me. So average-6, to a bit more than average, about a 9, works for me. A thick trunk is ok but a redwood is pushing it.

    Since the get down is about 2 people, he really needs to know what he likes, how to ask for it & how to show me what he likes if I’m doing something he doesn’t like. I’m not Magellan, dang it!!

    He has to be expressive because I can’t stand a quiet, teeth clencher/lip biter man in the bed. I need verbal or physical queues’ to let me know everything’s good or I’ll stop.

    Tolerant of others (being able to agree to disagree or see the other side of things); compassionate; sick sense of humor; intelligent (not just book smart but life smart); confidence without being pushing or overly dominate; the ability to acknowledge his flaws; not being uncomfortable with long silences; having the ability to say no; able to admit he was wrong & apologize; knowing how to argue if need be; spiritual but not religious; a sense of adverture; a good work ethic; varying tastes in food, literature, art & music…good grief…I’m missing lunch…

    Reply ↓

    • Dimaati

      your comment wins because i feel the same way.

      im not one to get all giggity-giggity over celebs. maybe it’s the over-saturation of the same ones considered fine, maybe because i prefer amateur over professionals.. i dunno.

      i’ve been asked the why are you single question to be followed up by the whats your type question, and i can honestly say i dont have one. the one thing my exes have in common is that they were men. tall. short. skinty. teddybears. cdn. amercian. ballers. ballboys. book smart. street smart. if it ended with them, it was because they weren’t for me at the time. im a simple gal. i know women say this, and i probably need more people, but it’s true.

      anyways. the moral of the story: i liked what you wrote.
      *fb thumbs up here.

      Reply ↓

      • @Keisha Brown-YOU TOO??!! Oh thank you!! I seriously thought I was the only one without a type.

        And that ‘why are you single’ question with the ‘what’s your type’ follow up makes me want to shoot off a pinky toe some days.

        “im not one to get all giggity-giggity over celebs. maybe it’s the over-saturation of the same ones considered fine, maybe because i prefer amateur over professionals.. i dunno.”

        No, I think you’re right-over-saturation of the same types of celeb men.

        Reply ↓

        • @Dimaati

          “I don’t have a repeatable or reliable pattern of male visual/physical yummy that I’m attracted to”

          Nope…you and KB are not alone. I wrote something similar upthread.

          Reply ↓

        • Dimaati + CNotes.

          yep.
          funny thing is that people refuse to believe you when you say that. and i dont get why that is! i am not the same person looking for the same things at 31 that i was at 21. so if im dating the same type of dudes now that i was then…there are some much bigger problems…

          Reply ↓

          • @CNotes-read your post, love it & welcome to the club. Especially loved , “-gives attention but pays no mind (read: handles a woman’s attitude like a champ)” My paternal grandpa the King of this!!!!

            And if man doesn’t like gumbo, jambalaya & stewed chicken then he’s not from this planet & needs to be arrested or something.

            @Keisha Brown-You’re so in my brain right now. I just this conversation with a coworker. She just can’t believe that I don’t have a ‘type of guy’. I had to sit outside with her & guy watch during my oh so yummy lunch to get to her finally understand (and stop pushing her dang brother at me…eeewwww!!!) that some woman don’t have a physical/visual preference that relates to a standard rank & file of what all women find attractive.

            Reply ↓

            • @Dimaati
              yep. you and me are >>><<<.
              i have my theories on why this may be the case, but i dont want tomatoes thrown (they are expensive you know!).

              i will say that my list does include a man that calls you back. esp if he gave you his number. presumably for a reason. like i said: simple gal.

              Reply ↓

              • @Keisha Brown-Oh I have some theories too so folks can toss tomatoes at me all day…I’m making stew fish this Saturday :-)

                1. I think it’s easier for some women to have a ‘type’ because they feel their desires won’t be met by ‘just anyone’. That a man just has to be more than ourselves to satisify us seems the common belief.

                2. Some women really don’t know what they want because most of us make allowances for behavior/actions based on our emotional state at the time. Those women assume all women are similar in that belief but I’m noticing that many are getting out of that habit.

                Hey, I could be wrong but that’s what I’ve noticed. As for guys, well…many still seem to be on madonna/hoe complex-oozing the ‘do me right now’ appeal while striving for sainthood type of woman. I’d find it funny if it wasn’t so boringly typical.

                Ohh, I hate, HATE when a man doesn’t call you back after he gave you him number. I’ve had to take a very nonsense stance- if they don’t call me back in 9 days after I’ve called them, they get deleted from my phone. And since I don’t answer numbers I don’t know, bye.

                Reply ↓

                • Dimaati
                  @Keisha Brown-Oh I have some theories too so folks can toss tomatoes at me all day…I’m making stew fish this Saturday

                  EXTRA WIN.
                  Have a great weekend! ;)

                  Reply ↓

      • I think I have a ‘type’- strong, silent, but that’s as deep as it gets. I agree the celebrity thing really doesn’t mean much. My friend doesn’t look or act like any of the people I named, but damn if we don’t have a good time.

        Reply ↓

  90. Dear 8 pounds 6 ounces… new born infant Jesus,don’t even know a word yet……

    Send me the man that would be….
    a man that can stimulate me mentally, spiritually, and sexually
    have a smart wit because I do have a smart mouth and I need for him to be able to take it and throw it back # thatswhatshesaid
    Someone kind, considerate, respectful, funny and loving
    family and goal oriented
    likes kids in general
    has an adventurous spirit (like being down to travel the world or go snowboarding with me.)
    faithful
    someone who can take the lead with a gorgeous, sexy smile
    and also if he can look like this http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQk1F_mUi7WqQnbXFqNrJLgA9lRYHGzp2UUYSatXWmmospjBfPC&t=1 or like this http://cdn.necolebitchie.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/devin-thomas-2.jpg or Idris Elba or Michael Ealy

    Amen

    Reply ↓

  92. 1. Talented (at SOMEthing)
    2. Smart
    3. doesn’t belong to a mega-church, f-it, let’s just say she is agnostic
    4. Risk taker
    5. enjoys chex, bonus if she enjoys outdoor chex
    6. loves to eat and cook: crawfish, shrimp creole, gumbo, red beans and rice, jambalaya
    7. freckles (on her face, bonus if on any other body part)
    8. an athlete, mad bonus pts if her sport involves swimming
    9. an outdoorsy type: camping, etc.
    9. cute, but acually, just not ugly (looks are temporary anyway)
    10: doesn’t watch a lot of tv, mad bonus pts for not owning a TV.
    11. must love Jazz and be open to all forms of music
    12. multi-lingual
    13. Charitable (greenpeace, doctors w/o borders, peace corps, etc)
    14. entrepreneurial – likes doing her own thing better than pulling a paycheck
    13. lives “in the moment”
    is all that too much to ask?
    lawd, had I used a checklist like this to find my SO, I would STILL be alone to this day.

    Reply ↓

  95. Aiight. Not much time to write now, makin money moves. Real quick my perfect VSS woman:

    - Cheekie’s wit (and body from what I see on that avitar)
    - Gem’s intelligence and classyness
    -SFG’s sexual confidence and beauty
    -WIP’s practicallity
    -Keisha’s lips, coolness and sports smarts
    -Miss Patterson’s sweetness
    -Mo-VSS’s gangsta
    -Miss T-lee’s realness

    That’s all 4 know…There’s more but I gotta go!

    Reply ↓

  96. Here’s my alternate list:

    1. Wears a different color Baby Phat or House of Dereon pant suit every day
    2. Has as many, or more, kids than Dashiki from Don’t Be A Menace
    3. Talks like Cita from BET – the digital hood chick
    4. Famous for no reason like Teyana Taylor
    5. Still wears Chinese Slippers
    6. More nip slips in public than Lil Kim
    7. More bad hair days than Foxy Brown
    8. Fights like Diamond from the Player’s Club
    9. Tatted the hook to “Make It Rain” on her lower back
    10. Has been on the Maury show a minimum of two times.

    Reply ↓

  97. Physically:
    I love locs on a man! ala Ryan Gentles (thanks VSS’s I’d never heard of him before today), or clean shaven, a short fro will do, too.

    Face: blend of Henry Simmons, Omari Hardwick for facial Hair (I swoooon for nice facial hair!!!)

    Body: Henry Simmons has a nice body. And after all the Dwight Howard references, I looked him and his upper body is beautiful, but I love strong, big legs on a guy. 6’2’’ is ideal. I will date a man who is shorter than me…AS LONG as he still makes me feel like a woman and doesn’t overcompensate! I’m 5’11” so this is quite considerate…plus, super tall men don’t live as long…

    Hardware: Up tilt, slight hook (either direction) 7-8 inches, Red Bull bottle girth (maybe a lil thicker, but not a soda can…I’m proud of my tautness…but will be investing in a Jade egg soon. While we’re on the topic…good stamina, SPONTANEITY, strength, be vocal: talk to me–tell me how much you like it, eats like a lesbian (ala Caren Caan…she could sooooo get this…YES homo [I’d totally be her bottom]).

    All the other stuff:

    Someone who loves to dance and is good at it. The way he dances gives you an indication of his bedroom skills.

    Someone who loves to travel internationally off the beaten path!!! I’m undecided on marriage, but if I do, why waste money on a big wedding? We’re having a courthouse ceremony, blow out reception at home, and an extremely intimate vow exchange with the closest of friends and family…then AT LEAST 6 MONTHS OF INTERNATIONAL TRAVEL HONEYMOON! Also, he must want to live outside of the US for at least a year.

    He doesn’t have to know how to cook, but he MUST LOVE FOOD because I THROW DOWN and I love the look on a man’s face when he eats my food and LOVES IT. I get wet…I can’t help it. He can appreciate a great steak, but prefers to eat at least 50% plant based.

    Brains: the HNIC’s of VSB, mix in President Obama for his knowledge of world affairs, gravitas, articulacy and eloquence, sprinkle in some Neil Degrasse Tyson, because I’m a science and astronomy junkie. A great CONVERSATIONALIST is a HUGE turn on! But, please. PLEASE. Do NOT approach conversation with me like you are teaching me something. TRUST. I really want to learn from you, but don’t do the “I’m teaching you all about life” bit. I hate that. Also, I like a man who enjoys reading non-fiction.

    I love a man who has actionable ambition! I prefer a man who LOVES what he does. That’s sufficient for the career/financial stuff. I’m not overly concerned with his pockets…we will build generational wealth together.

    I love a man who drives an old truck! I could care less what you drive…as long as it’s adequately clean, doesn’t emit loud noises and is reliable. A CAR NOTE IS NOT SEXY!

    He must LOVE sports. I’m not a huge sports fan, but we need something we can do separately. Also, I love to cook game day food.

    He doesn’t have to be a good singer, but not be delusional that he CAN sing, when he sounds like Rod Stewart on a bad night. Voice/Tone doesn’t matter, as long as he knows how to turn on the bedroom voice, the boardroom voice, the barbershop voice and the meet the parents voice. In fact, if he can speak another language fluently, shiiit, he can sound like Urkel!

    Prefer a man who’s had at least one non-black girlfriend or fling. Why? Because he’s open minded enough to explore, but still PREFERS us.

    I don’t mind a mama’s boy as long as she is a GOOD woman and wants her son to be loved by a woman who is not HER.

    Knows how to change the oil in a car, fix a toilet, install a ceiling fan…no, not just because I can do these things, either…I LOVE a man who LOVES to get his hands dirty.

    He must love natural hair on women. In fact, prefer it. He must love big asses. He must NOT prefer large tittays. In fact, prefer his woman with a double digit dress size. You probably have an idea of what I look like :)

    When it’s time to kick it…I love a night owl, a man who can hold his liquor, but doesn’t need to drink to have a good time, and equally enjoys being the life of the party or just chillin.

    It would be a challenge to date a hardcore religious man. I’m not religious. AT ALL. As Malcolm says: “Only a fool would let his enemy teach his children.” Likewise…only a fool would adopt his enemies (captors or oppressors) religion…another topic for another day. Still, he must love GOD, as I do.

    I’m not convinced I want to marry or have children, so he can’t be on the white picket fence, pseudo-American dream, 2.5 children fantasy.

    If he has someone from his past, that he feels was “the one that got away”…I don’t want ‘em. I know my value and worth…still…I don’t want to feel reminded that I have someone else’s shoes to fill or legacy to live up to. Including his mama.

    Reply ↓

      • Dang…brevity has never been my strong suit. Seriously though, if we are building perfect, we best be specific!

        Reply ↓

    • *slow clap* dayem girl. THIS —-> Hardware: good stamina, SPONTANEITY, strength, be vocal: talk to me–tell me how much you like it, eats like a lesbian (ala Caren Caan…she could sooooo get this…YES homo [I’d totally be her bottom]).
      is it getting hot in here?

      Reply ↓

    • “Hardware: Up tilt, slight hook (either direction) 7-8 inches, Red Bull bottle girth (maybe a lil thicker, but not a soda can…I’m proud of my tautness…but will be investing in a Jade egg soon. While we’re on the topic…good stamina, SPONTANEITY, strength, be vocal: talk to me–tell me how much you like it, eats like a lesbian (ala Caren Caan…she could sooooo get this…YES homo [I’d totally be her bottom]).”

      Sweet Prada Bag… I forgot stamina…PREACH!!!!

      Reply ↓

      • How’s the saying go….”I’d rather get five inches twice as long, than a ten inch minute man”…or something like that :/

        Reply ↓

    • All that…and I forgot one of the most important areas of my life…MUST LOVE MUSIC! Doesn’t have to love what I love, just be well rounded in what he likes.

      Funny enough, I’ve NEVER made a list! Swear!

      Reply ↓

  98. I’ve really been thinking about this since 1am so…
    Here goes nothing.

    PERFECTION, in my opinion, is a man who:
    has a Columbus Short/Brian White complexion,
    Brown eyes…not dark, not light, but Brown (they run in my family, just missed me *sadface*)
    medium body build
    Jesse Williams’ facial hair
    Dimples…MUST have dimples
    Lenny Kravitz’s musical style
    Prince’s sexiness (I mean, that man just oozes “sex”)
    Nelly sans grill/Michael Jackson’s smile
    The description of an east coast man in “Soldier” by Destiny’s Child, mixed with southern charm, and the ease of a California man.
    Marc Lamont Hill’s intellect
    Jay-Z’s laugh (I’m sorry but it’s infectious)
    Barry White’s speaking voice with Maxwell’s singing voice
    Chris Brown’s silliness
    Will Smith’s goofiness

    Willing to travel to faraway lands, which would require us to home school our 3, maybe 4 children
    father like Michael Kyle, Sr., a more modern Heathcliff Huxtable
    Speaking of the Huxtables, Theo’s love and tender spot for kids
    Man enough to respectfully tell me when I’m wrong and why.
    A commanding presence like my uncle who was only 5’7 btw
    A film director
    Loves every bit of me.
    Is a “mama’s boy” who has a sweet mother who doesn’t want to be her son’s “woman”
    Protective

    hmm…if I think of anything else, I’ll add to it.

    Reply ↓

  99. I’m just getting in the comments at 2pm?? Damn this busy Friday. Anyway, my perfect woman’s personality is a lot easier for me to imagine than her physical features. But here goes nothing…

    1. Great sense of humor
    I like to make people laugh, so she has to have a great sense of humor. But she won’t be cackling at every joke I make. Some of my jokes are actually pretty bad and I appreciate a woman who calls me out on it. She has to appreciate dry and subtle humor too. If slapstick is all you find hilarious, I can’t work with you.

    2. Intelligent
    She’s definitely book smart, but (more importantly) able to hold an intelligent, thought-provoking conversation about anything. She stimulates my mind.

    3. Musically-inclined
    An eclectic taste in music and a talent for singing or playing an instrument.

    4. Appreciative of nerdy/geeky things
    I actually don’t want her to be as nerdy or geeky as me, but she’s gotta at least appreciate the nerdy or geeky things I say and do.

    5. Ability to put it DOWN in the kitchen
    I like food. Food good. It’s really that simple.

    6. Dark brown/black skin
    7. Gabrielle Union’s face with Kerry Washington’s lips
    8. Sofia Vergara’s body

    Reply ↓

    • Eff. Forgot to list “God-fearing”. My perfect woman is concerned with growing in Christ just as I am, while acknowledging the fact that we’re all imperfect and traveling down different paths towards Him.

      Reply ↓

      • TDA
        i’m telling you if i loss 50lbs and spend 2 weeks in the Caribbean it would be me and you!!

        just to touch on your list
        1-i have my own sense of humor and enjoy others but, will let you know when you didn’t make your mark
        2- i am a member of mensa without the pretense
        3- i was a suzuki student of the viola for 12 years and i have been playing for over 20
        4-bring the nerdy geeky things on!!
        5- i’m half cuban half jamaican — i was born to cook and take care of a home
        6-ok i’ll hit the beach.. light skin gets no love?? :(
        7- ok i got my own look but i have been told i got a nice face
        8- once those 50lbs are off its ON
        ;)

        ? me

        Reply ↓

  100. 5’10″ with a broad back and shoulders; has a *natural* smell that makes me feel all primal; wears glasses sometimes and has probing eyes that hint at a childlike curiosity for life (a la Jesse Williams); fellow artist (preferably visual); reads profusely and can recommend great stuff daily; British accent (Idris Elba or Colin Firth); is fluent in another language; LOVES (LOVES) food and has a crazy; experimental palette; enjoys traveling far and wide and *never* just camps out at the hotel; is athletic (not a gym rat…more natural stuff like hiking, camping, soccer or outdoor jogging); ridiculously intelligent and talented but completely cavalier about it (not fake cavalier though); has money but is self-made and comes from humble beginnings (working class values with upper class means); volunteers on the low via time AND resources; a more than slightly twisted and perverse sense of humor with a penchant for random bouts of kink; kisses like a tranquil river stream and a volcano, sometimes simultaneously; knows who he is and truly likes himself; has the subtly dangerous but easy, natural swag of Clive Owen; very warm, affectionate and liberal with the PDA’s, so basically…

    …give or take a few celebrity shout-outs and the British accent (never had that-want it sooo bad), a composite of the best qualities of all of the men I’ve ever dated.

    Hmmm…that would be something to see.

    Reply ↓

    • I like your whole list, nod to the natural smell/phermone add……..
      I think I been in “the desert of the real” too long, like my mind just won’t allow me to create such detailed images of “perfection”, smh LOL dayum shame.
      Maybe that’s a good thing tho LOL.

      Reply ↓

        • I am a dreamer that’s what’s funny LOL but on the subject of negroes it’s like a dream deferred.

          What happens to a dream deferred?

          Does it dry up
          like a raisin in the sun?
          Or fester like a sore–
          And then run?
          Does it stink like rotten meat?
          Or crust and sugar over–
          like a syrupy sweet?

          Maybe it just sags
          like a heavy load.

          Or does it explode?

          Langston Hughes

          Reply ↓

          • This makes me very sad. Because in some ways it’s true.

            I will say this though…the moment I stopped taking men seriously, the dating game got a lot more interesting and fun.

            Reply ↓

            • deferred means postponed, put off to a later date, not impossible right?

              as for dating for fun, happy hunting to you!

              Reply ↓

      • Oh yeah…I don’t know what it is, but when I’m in love/lust, just the scent of him has me gone on some tangent of an intimate moment we shared together. I know I’m in trouble when I catch myself smelling one of his T-shirts and staring off into space wistfully.

        Reply ↓

  101. 5’11″ with a broad back and shoulders; has a *natural* smell that makes me feel all primal; wears glasses sometimes and has probing eyes that hint at a childlike curiosity for life (a la Jesse Williams); fellow artist (preferably visual); reads profusely and can recommend great stuff daily; British accent (Idris Elba or Colin Firth); is fluent in another language; LOVES (LOVES) food and has a crazy; experimental palette; enjoys traveling far and wide and *never* just camps out at the hotel; is athletic (not a gym rat…more natural stuff like hiking, camping, soccer or outdoor jogging); ridiculously intelligent and talented but completely cavalier about it (not fake cavalier though); has money but is self-made and comes from humble beginnings (working class values with upper class means); volunteers on the low via time AND resources; a more than slightly twisted and perverse sense of humor with a penchant for random bouts of kink; kisses like a tranquil river stream and a volcano, sometimes simultaneously; knows who he is and truly likes himself; has the subtly dangerous but easy, natural swag of Clive Owen; very warm, affectionate and liberal with the PDA’s, so basically…

    …give or take a few celebrity shout-outs and the British accent (never had that-want it sooo bad), a composite of the best qualities of all of the men I’ve ever dated.

    Hmmm…that would be something to see.

    Reply ↓

  102. Cool-azz nerd factor and general “good man and partner” status of Dwayne Wayne (Kadeem Hardison), the sex appeal ooze of Lenny Kravitz, the multifaceted talents of Mos Def, The physical skill and eternal youth of Crazy Legs, the sense of humor of Dave Chappelle, the strong masculine “he can handle himself” of Chris from the Wire, the “he can get it magnetism” of Lance Gross and Michael Ealey, the charisma of The Rock (Dwayne Johnson), the musical knowledge of J Dilla (is that possible?), the intellectual “I can break it down and have it be broke” skill of James Baldwin and Chuck D….

    Reply ↓

  103. HeMy build-a-man is a 6’2″ musician. He plays somethin jazzy like a sax or the drums. Not the piano, cause it’s too common. He’s a literature teacher with shoulder length, very well maintained dreds. He’s kinda squishy, but strong. He’s a Christian with one child (probably a girl) and a gentleman. Very much the “king of the castle”. Chivalrous. Honest. Funny, but not hilarious. He’s too smart to be hilarious. He probably has an off sense of humor. He’s Morris chocolate. Has Kanye’s swag. Rides a motorcycle to work on nice days. Fashionably ecclectic, and he always pulls it off. He has a perfectly symmetrical face and soft man lips. He shops organic. Reads avidly. Follows politics. Watches every sport from football to soccer to polo. He’s very masculine, good around the house, but has soft skin. Nice, long, thick fingers

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  104. HeMy build-a-man is a 6’2″ musician. He plays somethin jazzy like a sax or the drums. Not the piano, cause it’s too common. He’s a literature teacher with shoulder length, very well maintained dreds. He’s kinda squishy, but strong. He’s a Christian with one child (probably a girl) and a gentleman. Very much the “king of the castle”. Chivalrous. Honest. Funny, but not hilarious. He’s too smart to be hilarious. He probably has an off sense of humor. He’s Morris chocolate. Has Kanye’s swag. Rides a motorcycle to work on nice days. Fashionably ecclectic, and he always pulls it off. He has a perfectly symmetrical face and soft man lips. He shops organic. Reads avidly. Follows politics. Watches every sport from football to soccer to polo. He’s very masculine, good around the house, but has soft skin. Nice, long, thick fingers, big palms. Is family oriented. Honest. Open. He cries but he doesn’t sob. He’s not gorgeous, but he is sexy and he has great features. He’s about 32. Has had his heart broken once before as an adult, so he’s cautious, but optimistic. He wants to get married, but doesn’t wanna rush into anything. He kisses like he makes love. Confident, a lil cocky, but not arrogant. He’s got a small circle of friends that are like brothers. He has almost as many shoes (sneakers/boots) as me. Wears flip flops (without socks). He’s likes art museums and stargazing. Very traditional. My Daddy loves him

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  105. This whole conversation has been quite interesting to read, if for no other reason than it certainly provides some context for people’s expectations. :)

    I’ve pondered the question a lot and I think ideally it’d be someone who likes good music, reads good books and has a broad worldview. That’s sort of open-ended, but…I tend to prefer things that way.

    Having lived deep in the heart of flyover country for a decade now and heading back to the east coast soon, I realize how out of the loop I’ve been. Interesting stuff.

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  108. I hate lists. I think women have these lists of attributes that a mate must have, moreso than men. Having been in a relationship where I apparently passed the “checklist”, it kind of made me feel like basically this woman was superficial. She liked me for what I brought to the table and really didn’t know much about me the person. In the end I stamped her as unstable and kept it moving. The only things I have on a list of “must-haves” for a woman are religious compatibility, and she must not be a hater (aka. she can be in a room with other women without a fight jumping off. Other than that I’m pretty open to meeting new people. I think long checklists prevent people from making connections that were perhaps meant to be.

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  109. I’ve tried to think about what would constitute the perfect man. But really, the task is too daunting and something would be way off about him because I’m sure I’d forget something important. Like this one dude I met at grad school at Harvard who was everything, absolutely everything a girl could want… until he opened his mouth and had the squeakiest little voice and spoke in nothing but expressions from circa 1985. It was so sad. He was so perfect, except for that missing piece of tape to go over his mouth. I’ve since given up aiming for perfection because truth is, I’ve got no use for it. Give me flawed.

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  110. Well I am the new kid on the block, HELLO all and I must say it feels good to be here, yo all look beautiful.

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  111. I just want to know one thing. Is anybody happy with the one they already have? Only a few picked one complete person. Does this reflect on us as a society as to why relationships fail so frequently? And yes I am guilty of building my Stepford Wife too.

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    • I think the point of the post was to build your perfect person. everyone knows this is a fantasy exercise. the fact that most people picked bits of several individuals also shows we are aware that everyone has their merits, and by extension, their flaws. I know my IRL perfect man would probably look nothing like the man I cobbled together here. and im ok with that.

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  112. If I had to build my perfect woman, it would go a little something like this ( hit it ) the sassyness of ( A low down dirty shame ) Pinkett, Aisha Tyler’s sense of humor, nuturing spirit of Michelle Obama, down to earthness like Kandi from Xscape, left and a right hook like Michelle Rodriquez, Keyshia Col’s chest with a a less manly Serena William’s lower half and Erykah Badu’s it factor along with her eyes. Sorry for the misspelled words 6 o’clock can not come soon enough.

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  113. OK, I’ll give it a shot:

    I have to start with the @$$. There was this Fillipina in college who had the nicest pair of legs leading up to the nicest rear end I’ve ever seen on any mortal woman, celebrity or otherwise. It was so nice that I haven’t seen her in like seven years and I’m still talking about it… Anyway, her posterior with the rest of Venus Williams’ body except the shoulders and breasteses. She’d get Lindsey Bartillson’s Breasts (don’t ask). Then, give her Tia Mowry’s face (and shoulders, I guess), but Candice Parker’s smile. Both of those two women… I don’t know, it’s something about those sweet, innocent faces that you know could change at the drop of a dime to “ninja i’mma cut you!” or “Anytime and Anyplace.”

    Speaking of which, she should sing like Nancy Wilson and talk/speak like a mixture of Jill Scott and Janet Jackson.

    She should have Daria Morgendorffer’s wit and intelligence and Love sports. Especially Basketball. There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING sexier than a FEMININE woman who can beat me in basketball.

    When I’m not driving her around, I want her to hate FORD and drive a Blue Corvette. She should be patient and soft (in the right ways) but know how to have my back. If I slip you my gun because I’ve gotta take care of something real quick and I can’t have it on me right now, don’t act surprised. Just slide it in your purse (don’t worry, I probably already have the safety on) and keep it pushin.

    Lastly, I’m secure enough in my manhood/heterosexuality to say this: she should have The Champ’s sense of humor, which is similar to my own, but more refined and better informed.

    I’m sure that there’s more that I’m forgetting but that’s a pretty good start, I think.

    Oh! She has to be able to throw down in the kitchen (soul food AND healthy food) and not get weirded out when it turns me on and she ends up with her back pressed up against the cabinets. Also, its always good form to be active. Can’t stand sedentary chicks. But not Too active. Be able to stop every now and then to relax and smell the roses…

    OK. That is all for now.

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    • One more thing. I just read Breazy Taylor’s and it reminded me that I’ve got to include Erykah’s eyes. Also, I’d want her to be artistically hood like Erykah.

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  114. Hrm…. the choices so vast, possibilities so infinite lol

    -Chocololate skin like Djimon (us reds like dark brothers)
    -Generous heart, kind spirit, sense of humor
    -All of his natural white straight teeth
    -Love live music and be able to debate about HBCU band programs

    Most of all, he must be willing to compromise sometimes, and want to grow as a person.

    Yeah, I’m pretty boring lol…

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  116. Hella late and still only like a third of the way through the comments but here goes…

    My perfect built-from-the-ground-up man will be a brilliant nerd that loves Star Trek and horror books with a Conan O’Brien/Craig Ferguson/Jon Stewart sense of humor filtered through Chris Rock’s brain with Bernie Mack’s delivery.

    He’ll have Robert Downey, Jr.’s eyes; LL Cool J’s lips with The Rock’s smile; and a body like Vin Diesel and a walk like Denzel. He can have long, beautiful dreds or be completely bald if his head is shaped properly.

    He’ll have a young Clint Eastwood’s bad*ss machismo with Obama’s charisma. He’ll speak with Prince’s voice but sing like MJ and dance like him too. He will also play the guitar like John Mayer and play the piano and write songs like Stevie.

    He’ll be spiritual but not overly religious or judgmental of others belief. He’ll be good at debating and discussing and agreeing to disagree with no hurt/hard feelings. He’ll be comfortable not being married or living together yet still committed to me and my kids.

    That’s it. Actually, that’s more than enough. If any of you VSBs out there feel you fit this description, get your head examined cause you’re even crazier than I am or book us tickets to vacation in your homeland of Unicornia cause I’ve always wanted to see it. :)

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    • Just finished reading all the comments…As usual, very interesting and insightful responses. That’s why I love this site.

      BTW, my real list would probably only include the first and fourth paragraphs with some honesty and patience. I’ll also add be a good kisser and generous lover. I’m no size queen as along as he knows what he’s doing. Just not too much and not too little.

      I think that really is it now. Thank you for reading and chit.

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  117. I want…

    -Someone who shares my faith (I run into a lot of agnostic or “not religious but spiritual” people).
    -Has a sense of humor
    -Goal-oriented
    -Has some sort of education
    -Cares about his health and fitness
    -Likes to travel/get out and do things
    -Is generally kind
    -Family oriented
    -Has a talent (music, photographic, woodwork, something!)
    -He would have to balance me out, so he probably needs to be the calm one in the relationship. I need someone to go, “Babe. You’re worrying again. It’s okay.”

    Looks?
    -Between 5’9 to 6′ (if he has all of the above, he can be as short at 5’6″)
    -Long or short hair
    -polished in terms of style (although I’ve been attracted to the hipster type lately)
    -Medium to athletic build
    -Eye color doesn’t matter as long as he has 2 of them…the ones he was born with (don’t ask)
    -He doesn’t have to have a pedicure every week, but his feet can’t be looking like Frito Pie
    -Doesn’t smoke (it kills!)
    -I’m not against tattoos, but if I were to build a man, I don’t think I would add a sleeve of tattoos or any ish on his neck
    -While hair length doesn’t matter, I’mma need you not to have a whole bottle of product in your head.

    I dunno what else. As long as he doesn’t look like a booga-wolf but has a great personality, then I’m good.

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  118. THE PERFECT WOMAN FOR THE YALE GENT:

    The beauty of Vanessa Williams (Miss America) or the body and beauty of Naomi Campbell
    The personality, class and family values of Claire Huxtable
    The intelligence of Mrs. Obama
    The voice of Kathleen Battle
    and the spirit and energy of Debbie Allen.
    The social activity and consciousness of Desiree Rogers.

    That would be the perfect woman.

    However all I really want is a woman who is height and weight
    proportionate with a college degree, a pleasant attitude, a nice smile and natural motherly qualities.

    You would be surprised how hard that is to find.

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  119. Let me do this Gary and Wyatt thing right quick.
    Spirituality (Yolanda Adams)
    Intellect/Passion (Angela Davis)
    Aisha Tyler (Loves superheroes and video games)
    Jada Pinkett Smith (attitude)
    Tyra Banks (sexy walk)
    Stacey Dash (timeless beauty)
    Gina Neely (Domestic Skills)
    healthy libido to keep up with me
    Funny (Raven/Sheryl Underwood)
    Body Type I’m all over the place It could be Ciara/Tia Mowry/Toccara/Mercedes from Glee
    Bonus: British: Since the ladies been shoutin out Idris all week. It made me think I’ve always been in to British Chicks for a long time Mel B/Julie Brown/Floetry/Estelle

    SN : The ladies done flipped like acrobats on Morris/Taye/Tyrese. Sistas used to love those dudes. What Happened??:)

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  121. “We women just can’t win. We were already too tall or too short, too thin or too fat, too smart or too stupid, and too chaste or too cock-hungry, too independent or too marriage-minded. Now, we can’t even ask for a man who’s not a midget? You men are lucky I hate the way p*ssy tastes, because if I didn’t, I’d be L-Wording it up right now, word to Jennifer Beals”

    LOL!, Oh women, instead of seeing the solution they just focus on the problem, see that up there? ya know what’s the problem? the “too” part, of course no man wants a woman “too” anything, but i have yet to meet one guy that complains about a girl balanced, you ladies might want to let that sink for a while, just saying.

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    • Oh an before some wiseass lady brings the “i can change how tall/thin/fat/short” i am, lemme just say “well duh” i meant balanced as in balance it with another trait you CAN change, too tall? be more femine and meek, too short? be more feisty, so on an so forth.

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  122. I love this article! I have been 6’2 since I was about 14 years old and I always dated tall guys including a 2 time felon (yikes!) and a college cutie that once drunkenly told me that he did not believe monogamy was possible. I never considered being with anyone shorter than me until I met the most confident, sexy, corporate with hood beginnings man I had ever met and it all changed. My boyfriend of the last 4 years is much shorter than me and I’m cool with it. Most women, scratch that, most people pass up something great that will really make them happy for something that looks a certain way and will leave them heartbroken. I think the most important characteristic in a mate is how they treat you not their height or any other physical attribute.

    M.

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