Picture this with an ascot. Then you got a bougie ninja.
Let’s be real here, the vast majority of us tow the line between being the pretentious bougie ninja we hate the most and the person two steps out of the projects still concerned with credibility. It’s why men fight in three-piece suits and women complain like hell about Basketball Wives and Single Ladies while keeping them DVR’d. We’re always keeping it real or just being entertained. For a large part of us, success is erroneously how other people perceive us. It’s no secret we tend to be statusticians.
We’re a confused bunch for the most part. And if confused is too strong a word, then denial is the closest term. It’s like most of us reading black ninjas are constantly in a fight for that whole double consciousness Black thing that W.E. was rappin’ ’bout back in the late 1800′s and further in the Souls of Black Folks. Basically, Black people have had image problems for a very, very long time.
However, given that we are a bunch of bougie ninjas, or aspiring considering one’s current station in life, I figured that I’d run down the list of what actually constitutues the current practices of the bougie ninja…best practices if you will. See, bougie ninjas like saying sh*t like best practices because it implies you’ve read a book. Nobody in the hood says “best practices” unless they’re on a team somewhere and you know, “that was one of the best practices we done had, boss…”
Tupac back.
By the way, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a bougie ninja unless you actively look down on other people. Life’s a lot easier when you stop being so judgemental about everybody else’s f*cksh*t and do you. Then again, can one really be a bougie ninja without being judgemental? Confruscious my ni*gga. Confruscious.
Let’s take a stab at this, shall wel.
1. You must know where NOT to go.
Bougie ninjas congregate in all types of places. Grassy knolls. Bookstores. Coffee stores. Home Depot garden centers. Basically, you can go anywhere and be bougie and live your life. What’s important is to know where bougie ninjas don’t go. Like clubbing in Maryland. Not because you won’t see other bougie ninjas, but because non-bougie ninjas don’t really f*ck with bougie ninjas like that. And if you show up at Jasper’s with an ascot, my ni**a, folks are going to talk about you. I think women tend to do better at this than men, women STAY up on where not to go.
Hmm…has anybody noticed how liberal we are with male fashion choices? Honestly, ladies, I blame this all on you. I’ve seen men wearing some of the gayest attire out in public and catch no flack from any ladies. Skin-tight pink button ups with a vest, ascot, pocket square and those polyester not-quite-tennis-shoes-not-quite-dress shoes from Aldo with some skinny jeans. Somehow, someway, this became acceptable attire. I don’t know when stylish dudes decided that looking gay was the way to get women, but it seems to be the case. Perhaps this is a DC-ATL-NYC-LA problem but really, someone please call 911.
2. You have to be up on some sort of artistic expression be it art, esoteric music, or travel arts.
Yes, I said travel arts. And do you know why I said travel arts? Because some of you ninjas treat your travels like its the gateway to painting oneself as a well-learned person. And while I do believe that experiencing new things helps to make you a fuller person, I definitely know some bougie ninja women who travel just so that they can tell other people that they travel so that they seem otherworldly to other folks who think a stamped passport makes you cultured. Bougie ninjas like art. I’m not sure why, but this is fact. I remember a long time ago this cat trying to sing to me the praises of Cody Chestnut’s Headphone Masterpiece. It’s mixed like hot garbage. On purpose. And somehow this made it artsy and I just wasn’t up on that hot sh*t because I didn’t f*ck with Cody’s album. Still don’t. But being the music snob that I am, I understood his plight. It also helps if you actually know what things like impressionism mean. I don’t. But my art knowledge is largely based on vinyl album covers. This right there? Is art.
3. You really do have to pretend to hate current popular Black culture and only have love for all things 90s
Rick Ross is the exception. Somehow, all bougie ninjas can get down with Rick Ross. Could be because he keeps making dope music. Maybe it’s his titties. I don’t know. The interesting thing about this one is that in order to hate it you have to engage in it. Which means that we have to listen to it all to hate it, which we do with enthusiasm. I know I do.
4. BET is the ruining the community.
You just have to say this a few times a week or whenever somebody says BET. And you can use any BET awards as your only reference point. It’s like an exemption to play in the Master’s.
5. It is vital to appreciate natural hair.
Odd, I know. But there is a huge undercurrent of women going natural and it has to be loved and appreciated en masse. Now I personally love natural hair. En masse. See what I did there?
6. You must be willing to overspend on food.
Real spit, I HATE boutique eateries. If your menu only has 8 items and all of them cost $20 per plate, I cannot f*ck with you. But if I want to see other bougie ninjas, that’s what I have to do. Well, if I want to see bougie women. A group of bougie ninjas will hit up TGIFridays in a minute. Of course, this one is more prone to be likely in major cities as well.
I think I’ll stop there for now. These are a few of the best practices of the bougie ninja.
VSBNation, what else you got?
-VSBougie P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. ASCOT TO MATCH MY SOCKS WHATS IN MY SPEAKERBOXX? PINK AND BLUE. aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3
You must go to brunch at least once a month if not every weekend.
I went to this place called Smiths with a friend and they had a brunch menu until 5 pm. Who wants Belgian Waffles at 2 pm? -__- I can’t stand these hip spots who think all people want to do is drink mimosas…oh wait…
I want belgian waffles at 2pm… DAILY… with chicken.
I want belgian waffles at 2pm… DAILY… with chicken.
Why must you make my job harder? It seems as if you are part of the solution, not the problem: you are far too comfortable occupying the space between bougie and gully!
But don’t pat yourself on the back too fast! Your accomplishment is a statistical anomaly! Ha! Ironically, there are few other educated Blacks that are as enlightened as you are! As Panama himself wrote, “the vast majority of us tow the line between being the pretentious bougie ninja we hate the most and the person two steps out of the projects still concerned with credibility.”
Ah ha ha! I always win! I’m going to celebrate by blasting “Aston Martin Music,” “B.M.F.”, AND “I’m Not a Star!”
…Plus I’ll throw in an obligatory playback of “All I Do Is Win.” Because winning is what I do.
Where my money or I’m bad perhaps??
Or with a fried chicken omelet! Harold’s. Ok, time to make that trip to LAX!
I love waffles. Any time of the day. LOL!
I go to the Front Page here in DC sometimes – nice breakfast buffet – with waffles – at only $20 a person. Yum!
This goes with #6. Anybody who has been to a chicken & waffles spot has thought, “Dang, I could have bought a whole chicken and a whole box of Hungry Jack and still had ten dollars left”.
I don’t even go to brunches that don’t have unlimited mimosas. I will call the restaurant and specifically ask. “Oh you don’t have unlimited mimosas? Click.”
RIGHT!
hmm…you need to step your bougie up…its “BOTTOMLESS” mimosas.
Pardon my bougie blunder. I went to a non-HBCU school. “/
This is the only way to go…
Uhm, I want to drink mimosas everyday in many different varieties:
Traditional
Pomegranate
Rudy Red
Cranberry
Yes. I want mimosas all day long.
And it bet not be no fcuking pulp in the juice. That’ll make me flip the table over.
this is true and iHollered
Omg, I can’t breathe
AND in the really good places if you ask them to make the drinks stronger, they totally will!
And it bet not be no fcuking pulp in the juice. That’ll make me flip the table over.<—-iDIED!
I think I’m going to transition to Bloody Mary’s. You know, some good ol “Hair of the Dog” Sunday morning drinking.
I’m not crazy about mimosas. I’d rather have a bellini, if they’re made right.
why cant we all just do both and get bougiefied and drunk at the same time.
okay…truce!!! Let’s get wasted at 11am.
I drink a mimosa everday at breakfast. I had to switch to non alcoholic champagne!
“I can’t stand these hip spots who think all people want to do is drink mimosas…oh wait…”
*Adds “drinks mimosas” to the bougie practices*
let me jump on this bandwagon cause ur ah..
Yeah
went to this place called Smiths with a friend and they had a brunch menu until 5 pm. Who wants Belgian Waffles at 2 pm?
SHYT ME. All Day. I love waffles.
@ny2va me too
“I can’t stand these hip spots who think all people want to do is drink mimosas”
But wait… Brunching with my Bishes is my favorite pastime. Bellini’s and Mimosas are about 75% of my blood composition. lol
And who wants to brunch at Old Country Buffet. Viva La Hipster Eateries!
And most of them aren’t even that expensive. Hip Spots to eat don’t have to be Wolf Gang Puck’s. I find the menu prices at most of these places to be on par with Friday’s.
True
you real spit, brunch is definitely some bougie ninja sh*t. in DC its like brunch has exploded as the “it” thing to do. if one more tattoo’d thug walks by me talking about “best brunch spots, my ni**a” i’m gonna kick a squirrel.
I’m sorry but if you live in DC you are in the Bougie Ninja Capital, Mecca, Ground Zero, Baseline of all Bougie Ninja Origins…and I’m from PG County, so I know what I speak of. But to me the funny thing is, that most young urbanites today are cartoons of Bouige (think little girl wearing her moms bra…totally playing dress up) buying into and acting more than for appearance purposes only. It’s actually quite sad, and yes I’m guilty because I wouldn’t be caught dead clubbin in Maryland, I like Rick Ross (cause T.I. keeps f*ckin up), but I don’t brunch, I get it in straight at IHOP…see what I did right there, Boughetto at it’s best!
NYC on a Saturday or Sunday is Brunch Central with brunch special everywhere…
It’s bougie everywhere, even here in Dallas. And it kinda came out of nowhere…or maybe it just seems like that since i just recently discovered it. I walked into a spot and was like, “So DANG, this is where all the bougie ninjas been hiding. They been having mf’in steak and eggs! and mimosas
Bougie ninjas know the owner of their favorite brunch establishment(s)…
and bougie ninjas know the whole menu….you touch the menu they recommend like 5 things
GIRL you talmbout my sister right there. lol With her old “Telll Chef Carl I said hey” face.
Or they come with, “tell him I love what he’s done with the Chicken chorizo and eggs…I can’t put my finger on it but something’s different”
Chicken chorizo ftw!!!!!!!!! Mmmmm. I’m not bougie.
How about send their children to the same private school as the owner of their favorite brunch establishment?
there is a whole hashtag by elon james white called #webrunchhard. but we do.
The blog and video…hill larry us
My boyfriend and I go to brunch every Sunday. We at least try to switch the places up. Last week the lady making the omelettes asked my bf if he wanted his omelette the same way she made it last week. If you are really bougie, never go to the same place twice.
I love your screename, filthy. The period at the end makes it art. Also, I went bagginfoaf as to whether I should put another period after that sentence since your name already has a period and I figured I shouldn’t waste periods. Go green. Which is bougie. Win.
Lol. Thanks! =]
This seems to describe Black Yuppies pretty well. I try to fight these pretentious urges. I’m trying to bring humility back and sh*t.
Some people take number 5 way too seriously. *whistles*
This seems to describe Black Yuppies pretty well. I try to fight these pretentious urges. I’m trying to bring humility back and sh*t.
No, Naima! Embrace your bougie! Look down on others! And definitely don’t volunteer in the inner city or do anything else that alleviates urban plight!
Come to the bougie side!
And definitely don’t volunteer in the inner city or do anything else that alleviates urban plight!
See. I disagree. I think that bougie ninjas always volunteer and mentor. They have to show the less fortunate the way so that maybe they can grow up and be bougie… or at least have bougie children.
…or at least have bougie children
This!
Is my daughter! Though I must admit, I cater to her bourgeoisie (I’m real bougie).
She’s 12. Is morally opposed to eating meat (buying leather or anything that once lived). She’s in a private school, so all her friends live in the ‘burbs and/or the sticks. She plays a ukulele. Reads Shakespeare. Speaks French. And outside of basketball, all her sneakers are Coach and Toms.
Like I said I do cater to it to some extent. I will support my babe in anything she feels strongly about and within reasonable means, do all I can to make sure she has what makes her happy. But she also has family who want the same. And in her circle, she’s not bougie, she’s average
0_0
You done broke out the original word from which we coined the term bougie. Wow you certainly are bourgeoisie…or bourgeois, whichever you prefer. Carry on
Ukelele my ninja ?????????????
lololol
Yes. My babe is also a card carrying member of the nerd squad
Well, um…uh…
*Removes mask*
You’ve hit the nail on the head. I think that that is one of the few redeeming qualities of the Black elite vis-a-vis the White elite: its members believe in contributing to disadvantaged communities. And they practice what they preach. I’m not talking about fancy fundraisers in downtown penthouses and suburban mansions; I’m talking about tutoring, mentoring, and other forms of active volunteering. Because for every rich White woman that adopts a Michael Clarke Duncan a la “Blindside,” there are ten thousand educated Black people who volunteer in their inner city. However, I believe that, among bougie Blacks, women are much more likely to be the ones volunteering.
Now that I’ve said (well, written) all of that, it’s no longer time for me to be the negro that the bougie set wants. It’s back to being the negro that the bougie set deserves…
*Puts mask back on*
I ignore everything that you just said! I am Boron! Kneeeeel to me!
I like you.
I concur, we like you. Are you male?
In the days of time immemorial, Boron was once a man, but he then became something yet greater…a force of evil!
yeah i agree. bougie ninjas stay on their public service tip. they have to. b/c they have to be able to tell somebody else about their public service.
some ninjas just watch Extreme Makeover: Home Editiona and swear they were there doe.
Yes. Boron must be effing with the pseudo-bourgeois.
*gasp* I volunteer in hispanic communities because in VA that is our ethnic minority. For real though, they are treated horribly. Next time you see a day laborer you should ask him about his life and where he came from….and there I go way off topic.
I think what people call bougie isn’t that serious. I hate pretentious people who have this huge sense of entitlement. No one cares about your master degree or PhD. *plays College Dropout by Kanye West*
Oh no, if you’re bougie you most definitely have to do something that alleviates urban plight. You do this because normal non-bougie folk are too busy scratching out a living to actually have time to worry about other people. If you have the free time to spend your saturday mornings mentoring at risk niglets you’re either a saint or a bougie n***a. You must also do this because one of the first tenants of being bougie is that you must always out-bougie the next bougie n***a and volunteering in the hood is like reverse psychology to other non-volunteering bougie n***as. So when homey pulls up in his brand new Mercedes (the go to car maker for bougie ninjas) talking about how he just spent a week in the Vineyard (go to summer spot for bougie ninjas), you pull up in your Audi Hybrid and subtly mention how you spent your vacation with Corey Booker cleaning up the streets of Newark FTW.
Adding to the list now let me say:
Bougie n***as love Jesus, but don’t catch the holy ghost. When you’re bougie you have to be very particular about what church you go to and what denomination you practice. Non-Denom, AME (depending on the church’s history) and Presbyterian are all acceptable. Baptist and anything Pentacostal… no sir.
*Pentecostal
word…bougie ninjas ain’t pentecostal? you might need to send that memo to the DC where Greater Mount Calvary has a slew of bougie ninjas in attendance every Sunday-Sunday.
OMG MOST!!!! #DEAD!
OMG I was just about to chime in as to whether my volunteering at my mega Baptist Church counts toward my alleviation of Urban Plight…
And if you don’t know Baptist Bougie Ninjas are gangsta, the AME and Presbyterians arms are too short to box with God.
P.S. I love this blog because of it’s diction, grammar, subject verb agreement, and well developed predicates….I want to set up shop and visit this place everyday!
@TheMostInterestingManintheWorld
I loooooved the response! I have accepted that I am bougie but I can act a fool if need be. I am from Chi city so…. Lol!
@ Boron the Negromancer,
Let’s talk about your avatar, doe. And your screename. In that order. LOL
Concurred
+2
Very well. The picture is of me moments before being in flagrante delicto. Let’s call the woman…Tammy.
As for my name, I have dubbed myself Boron for as long as civilization has existed. In fact, there are records of my devious deeds in Mesopotamian ziggurats, Egyptian pyramids, and Roman frescoes…look it up. I employ the appellation “negromancer” because I am the Dark-skinned Master of Dark Arts. And though my title has “Negro” and “romance” in it, I am the Enemy of both! Ah ha ha ha!
lol
“Some people take number 5 way too seriously. *whistles*”
yea everytime a women goes natural an angel gets their wings and 5 children in africa are able to eat the rest of the year
Nah, nothing that magical happens. What happens is that one more black woman doesn’t go into a rage when it rains or when she gets splashed by water. Also, the relaxer companies and brute-icians cry a little.
When I flat iron my hair, I feel like I am committing some cardinal sin. And I don’t like Carol’s Daughter products. *runs for cover*
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing naturalistas that Carol’s Daughter was the end-all, be-all, for every single type of natural hair.
i can’t stand carol’s daughter. what a hustle.
Yeah, that sh*t stinks. No bueno.
I thought I was the only one who thought that mess was STANK! Add that to being over priced and doing jack squat for my tresses, I pass.
Yeah, I’m not a fan, either. Used some of the products and it seemed to dry out my hair. I mean, air-body’s hurr is different and what works for mine won’t work for someone else’s but those who ack like CD is the cure-all for air-thang? Yeah, have a natural seat.
Whilst irritating scalps everywhere after Carol’s Daughter changed her original recipes for bigger profits!
Are people still kissing Lisa Price’s behind? Jada, Solange, Cassie and that skinny chick have to have the worst case of itchy scalp and stink in their hair! Carry on!
+1
lol i have a friend who had bad reaction to those products
I’ve never used Carol’s Daughter. I’ve been natural for maybe 4 years and until I got my locks 2 years ago, my CHI was my BFF! Getting locs was always the plan, and my hair straight (by whatever means) is far more manageable than kinky.
But I love my hair now, best decision I ever made!
Maybe goin natural has changed, I thought it was more about hair health.
It was for me. I can’t speak for the bougie people.
Gurl yes! Carol’s Daughter is not a cure-all.
@ Naima you will need secret service type protection after what you just said. I can see the angry mobs forming from here.
Carol’s Daughter is awful….I too used to feel guilty straightening my hair….now I flip the middle finger to anyone who has something to say about my straightened hair or blonde highlights…
I know this is a no-true scotsman fallacy, but no true naturalista is going to give your grief over straightened hair, or blonde highlights. All we want is people to not knock natural hair, and wear hair that is best for them. And stop saying wearing straight hair is easier without appropriate qualifiers.
Agreed. Like, why do people have negative stuff to say to those who straighten their hair? Silly ass ninjas making all naturalistas look bad *smh*.
yaadgyrl… that would be you AND me flipping birds to chicks having something to say about our relationship with blow outs and flat irons!!
Girl YES! Dem same chicks want to know what products I use when my hair is un-straightened….GTFOH….I get these curls from my Daddy’s Daddy!
Yeah, even though I’m in curly obsession since being a new natural, I can’t hate on folks who want to straighten sometimes. I mean, folks put color in it, too… no different. It’s just another way to style it. No biggie.
You should never feel bad about your choice to straighten, and I will stand with my straightened sistas against general black oppression and stuff. But sistas who want to hang out on the pool side, on the beach shore, indoors when it’s “too humid” out, or under the eaves when it’s raining get left behind with the quickness. My patience ends at water-phobia.
Miss Jessies makes the best hair products for natural hair, IMO. Curly Buttercream! Also Mixed Chicks products are great as well. Expensive, but well worth it.
Most Carol’s Daughter products are very drying. However, the best product I’ve ever used for my afro is the CD Hair Milk…even compared to Paul Mitchell products. I like the CD Hair Balm, too. The rest of the products are not the bomb, IMO.
And have a vast knowledge of wines…..and shop at Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s at least twice a month.
Be at least semi-fluent in another language. [or throw in random foreign phrases during your conversation and act surprised that other people didn't know what you said]
Only eat organic food – Whole Foods, Mustard Seed – or even grow food yourself.
Join/host/start a book club.
Didn’t mean to reply here.. =/
Yup! They also shop at Farmer’s market…
I deeply study all the organic varieties of wines at Trader Joe’s
before purchasing 2 buck chuckI’m a reg’la sommelierthe juxtaposition of the words “reg’la” and “sommelier” is pure poetry
Ain’t it though.
i stay at the farmer’s market.
I like the concept but I never remember the days or times… The new thing in my gentrified neighborhood is the urban garden… Really? I know we are gatedesque but this is still North Philly…
i think you are branching out beyond black bougie and into blipster territory…but i could be wrong…
the OP made me happy b/c being black bougie is like my worst fear…and if this is the checklist, i definitely am NOT…
but the trader joe’s, linguaphile, natural hair, enlightenment through books, wanting to grow one’s own food & having a political analysis that extends beyond the “conservative v. liberal” (false) dichotomy, probably not christian, sexually liberated enough not to care if ur gay/straight/bi/sex worker/promiscuous/asexual/celibate/polyamorous, proud to be african, black folk w/degrees…who aren’t stuck in the 90s b/c we know quality, CURRENT underground, independent, & international artists…*we out here*…some of us can pass for regular bougie, some of us can’t or refuse to do so…but we out here!
this is probably just a transparent attempt to make myself feel better, or maybe my ego is too big but i think…we deserve our own category…
I am a member of a wine club. . . and go to the wine shop to drink and socialize every Friday. . .
O and I try to only buy wine from the black owned wine shop. . . *sigh o Hampton look what you have done to me. I cant drink moscato, love malbecs, and a good port. . .
LOL. I haven’t gotten that far yet, but I am about to be…
Go Pirates!!!
we are right >here< on the love of Malbecs. I prefer the Argentinian ones. Higher alcohol content.
I think they drink Salentein in heaven…
O and I try to only buy wine from the black owned wine shop. . . *sigh o Hampton look what you have done to me. I cant drink moscato, love malbecs, and a good port. . .
This is so real. Hey soul sista.
Oh, and the bougie also have taken at least one trip to a vineyard (bonus points if they don’t call it a winery…lol) to do a tasting.
I know I’ve been to several. In my defense, I live near Temecula, which is like the lower class Napa Valley of southern Cali.
It’s expected here.
I’ve been there too! I liked it. But I have to ask, why is aiming high, working hard and wanting the better things for your family considered bougie?
Right….like who the hayle is dropping $100 on groceries they could have bought for $35 at giant??? Bougie ninjas! But the tabouleh at whole foods hot bar is devine! I eat it wit red kool aid on the side #gangsta !
The vegan crab cakes @ whole foods. To. Die. For.
i have gotten used to organic fruits, even if i gotta rent an EBT card to get em lol
You already know. Hustle hard.
rotflmao lol
LMAO!!! Now you ain’t never lied! This truly tickled me…
But see, the fact that you purchase and eat tabouleh in your home negates your entire statement. Eff, your red kool aid. You know it’s really cranberry-pomegranate juice. Here’s your bouge badge. *reaches over to pin it on you*
In defense of Whole Foods, the seafood tastes better AND Giant gets a little price happy on their lamb (when you can find a store that carries it -ground and in chops).
(when you can find a store that carries it -ground and in chops).
Harris Teeter, baby!
It’s funny how Trader Joe’s always gets lumped in. Trader Joe’s is cheaper and closer that my regular grocery store. I think people who do the majority of their shopping at Whole Foods are somewhat bougie. Some go JUST to say they shop there.
Cosign. I ger my fruit, nuts, and veggie chips cheaper here than I do at wally world or the grocery store.
“And have a vast knowledge of wines…..and shop at Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s at least twice a month.”
So basically, folks who drink Moscato with their pinky up and grocery shop at Walgreens (where they got their Moscato from) need to have a fold-up seat?
Dying…Died..DEAD!! @ “folks who drink Moscato with their pinky up”
priceless
No no no…women do not like men in skinny jeans, tight baby tees and sneakers. We don’t. I know y’all wanna blame us for the male fashion choices but unless you live in Cali, that attire is not acceptable (I see women with men who wear those clothes here (none of them black women) so I say it works somewhere)
And other things that toe the line:
1. Erykah Badu…I love her and am willing to defend her with the 3 or 4 kids by maybe as many fathers. I’ll say she’s “earthy” and “unafraid” instead of ratchet and ignorant.
However, Lauryn Hill, even with all the kids by the same dude, I just can’t defend. LOL, hilarious I know.
2. Knowing at least one blog to be up on and comment/lurk on frequently. I feel like you ain’t sh*t if you don’t know at least one black blog that’s not necolebitchie (no hate) or the ybf (some hate). Like you aren’t even educated unless you peruse at least one of them. I know that’s not the case, I’m just saying.
I can’t think of any more but I’m sure others will
1.I think Erykah gets a pass (with me and most men) partly because she is a anomaly. She is actually badder now than when she first came out. http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRRdPaLaH8hg6TLgEbHEbXmHG-lXwgTK9Zdpi3diSSGPFJdGPJn
Plus she turns her baby daddy’s into bougie ninjas (see Common and Andre 3000)
2. And their comments are like dissertations. lol.
And their comments are like dissertations. lol.
……….
LOL
Just when I thought I was done with Erykah Badu, she pulls me right back in to her. That
bootyintellect of hers is ginormousIt still amazes me on how bad her body is now after 3-4 kids. I really think every guy wants their future wife to be like that.
co- to tha friggin-sign
i’d trade my fitteds for headwraps to tap Erykah lol
DEAD!
I died…
LMAO
*badly written dissertations
Girl you know we can’t quit Erykah, especially when she spells her name that way.
Right, she is like the EPITOME of what we’ve all come to socialize “ghetto” with yet, she stays winning and out of that category by white and blacks alike. Amazing. The spelling of her name, the babies, never being married, the weed smoking, the “block is hot” mentality (in some of her songs) and yet and still she never is associated with anything remotely sour.
I can’t knock her. Like. AT.ALL!
.Lauryn Hill said Rohan IS NOT THE FATHER of her new baby boy. *deep sigh*
On that note, bougie ninjettes don’t do Rasta d*ck
Only on vacation…
I completely BOLMAO at this, “On that note, bougie ninjettes don’t do Rasta d*ck”, then this^
________________*flatline*_____________
I love everything about this comment…carry on.
I completely BOLMAO at this, “On that note, bougie ninjettes don’t do Rasta d*ck”
I live in Cali and I refuse to accept men wearing tight jeans. That outift may fly in SF but not in Oakland!!!
you in Oakland?!? Can you please explain this Kreashawn ish? What in the entire fcuk is a white girl mob??? I clicked a link, watched two youtube videos and lost a few brain cells watching her.
I’m more on the Bougie side, so the I only listen to 102.9 KBLX or my iPod (which includes neo-soul, Tupac/Biggie and 90′s soft rock), so I have no idea what you are talking about. (I just googled though, sounds like a hot mess).
We rep EnVogue, Raphael Saadiq, Goapele, or (if you are bordeline ghetto) Keshia Cole.
I tried liking Goapele but I just can’t. I find her to be a poor man’s Amel Larrieux.
With half the range and vocal mastery
Exactly.
But her hair is GORGEOUS! I like her but she can’t touch Amel vocally.
Okay..let correct that. The dudes in Oakland LOVE them some Goapele. She’s kind of a one hit wonder to me.
Also in O, & yea – she has one great song that I love, but I can leave all the rest. & her hair WAS gorgeous – she chopped it though, did she loc again??
No no no…women do not like men in skinny jeans, tight baby tees and sneakers. We don’t. I know y’all wanna blame us for the male fashion choices but unless you live in Cali, that attire is not acceptable (I see women with men who wear those clothes here (none of them black women) so I say it works somewhere)
you say its not acceptable but that style of dress is running rampant. that style of dress is like an hiv outbreak in botswana. its everywhere and ladies are dating these dudes. why ELSE would straight guys continue to do it. its like a slap in the face to social darwinism. stop slapping darwin ladies.
I JUST saw those cat daddy inventors on Mo’Nique yesterday wearing skinny jeans that were FLOODING (pants too short for those who don’t know… now ya know). They looked every bit of a plum fool.
So now you either sag in skinny jeans or you flood in them. Lawd, these churrin’ is so confrused….
Unfortunately it is everywhere. I blame H&M!
You are not enjoying the lounge if you don’t get bottle service…50 dollar moscato is soo much better than the 9 dollar bottle in target!
LMAO…riiiiight
Regular people make bougie ninjas itch so VIP is mandatory…
mingle with the gen pop?? no sir.
Bougie people drink Moscato!? Are you sure this is not the Boughetto?
All I hear is Roscoe Dash in the background.
maybe some 8.84yrs aged organic wine imported from the Himalayas would be more appropriate… after all moscato might just be too ghetto
Bougie people know Moscato is a dessert wine with low alcohol content. Blame Drake for not having anything to rhyme with “bravo.”
+1
+2
+3
+4!!!
+5.
+6
Drake stay getting blamed for sh*t.
It’s cuz he’s Canadian isnt it???
Y’all took that Blame Canada thing WAY TOO FAR!!!
lol.
You make me wanna pop in the South Park movie now *lol*.
Lol
Moscato has replaced wine coolers and boones farm. Ninjas tryin’ to come up.
If Dave Chapelle could do the reprations skit over he would have a piece that winery profits are up due to increaded negro moscato consumption.
True, true…I think it’s cuz the name ‘Moscato’ just sounds bougie…MO-scat-O…just rolls off the tongue more easily than E&J, Boones farm, etc. Plus, you can carry it around/take it home sans brown paper bag, and you actually need a corkscrew to open it up (y’know the corner store liquors got the screw-off caps)
Moscato wine: Making regular ninjas feel bougie since 2008…
Moscato wine: Making regular ninjas feel bougie since 2008…
Flatline!!!!
*dead*
That made me laugh for a good solid 2 mins
lol I was thinking the same thing
Bougie people do not drink Moscato. It is the Hi-C of wines….
I beg to differ. Bougie people don’t drink Moscato in the club or at dinner with their steak. And on another note, bougie folk know and understand wine pairings. You can’t just drink a red wine with anything. Will completely ruin your palate.
NIA for the Win.
Word!
Thank you!
But they do drink chardonnay in large quantities. Not to say there is anything wrong with Chardonnay but when in doubt it’s the uppity ninja who doesn’t know a thing about wine’s drink of choice. Just saying…
i was out with my homeboy once and this ninja ordered moscato. i looked at him like he just kissed amber rose with wiz khalifa and kanye west in attendance.
i asked him where dey do dat at? he said, he heard it in a rap song and rap ninjas know whats up.
That’s that ignant shhhhh….. SMH
UGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Oh yes. Bougie folks drink Moscato at home for shits & giggles. Not in public really.
This. I am not Boogie, though.
Practicing bougie nigs DO NOT drink Moscato.
Practicing bougie nigs DO NOT drink Moscato.
Correction: no longer drink Moscato since the ghetto folks BE drinking Moscato now and because, as Naima (see above) said, Bougie people know Moscato is a dessert wine with low alcohol content.
“Correction: no longer drink Moscato since the ghetto folks BE drinking Moscato now and because, as Naima (see above) said, Bougie people know Moscato is a dessert wine with low alcohol content.”
Last night while dining in a dessert bar in the hidden part of STL that is still thriving (note: bougie), the bf and I were just mentioning how so many people we know don’t know that Moscato is a dessert wine and how the fact that it’s so “common” we don’t drink it anymore.
Also, bougie women don’t shop at Bebe or Arden B if for no other reason than the women from the block shop there also.
I hate Bebe with a passion! I went on the website yesterday to see if there’s anything cute but it’s just a bunch of tight ugly clothes.
Bougie chicks shop high end dept stores, boutiques, designer-specific stores, or Anthropologie….half their closet comes from local designers they discovered during their exotic travels…
Bougie chicks make–and arrive ontime to–personal shopping appointments at department stores (at the white mall).
YES!!!!
Bougie nigs drink port and sherry wine INSTEAD of moscato and have the appropriate glasses for that wine
Also on occasions, they will break out a bottle of absinthe to get extra bougie with it..
Now, that is just talking it too gahtdamn far. You super mega bougie.
you must completely ignore this post to wish the one and only (and original) Queen (cuz she’s a Leo) Bee of VSB (Cheekie if yall aint guess) a very very very happy birthday!!!!!
*pauses on the making it rain in cdn currency til thursday…
but..um.. about the post..
i dont consider myself bougie, but know myself. i grew up in bougie. my entire wardrobe in HS was Gap and Nike. i was accused by black people for not being black enough. i hold potlucks. i still dont know how to dougie.
um…that’s all i got for now!!
After reading this post, its been concluded that I am, indeed, Bougie lol. I went to a predominately white school K-12, so really, its all I know!
exactly. there were like 5 black families in the 5 yrs of secondary school. (ok.. maybe 10). and i was one of them. lol.
I ain’t going to lie. I’m bougie as hell. In undergrad, (I even went to an hbcu) I drove a Jeep Wrangler and played golf when I wasn’t in class. lol. I even dressed like I was on staff at J.Crew and use a Macbook.
Using Macs isn’t bougie..it’s smart.
If by “smart” you mean “evil” then yeah.
Pretentious evil 2520 “ha. ha. ha. ha. haaaaa” laugh.
uMad?
A Wrangler?? Really?? As a former mechanic, I can safely say I have NEVER seen a person of color driving one of those sir.
To answer your question…yes. Its a pretty cool vehicle, it just bad on gas. lol.
*throws confetti*
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHEEKIE!!!
*dougies*
HAPPY BIRFDAY CHEEKIE!!
I’m sure Yoles is gonna do some fancy type ish and I’ll sign that like it’s from me.
(hits my Bougie)
lol. for the record…my bday wishes are a day early tho.. i’m heading into a vsb hiatus… lol.
Aw…Where you going? Are you too bougie for us now.
i’ll be hosting some of your fave VSS’s in Toronto for Caribana weekend. Arrivals begin tomorrow.
i will have no part of a computer til next week.
Sounds like it’s gonna be loads of fun. Hope you ladies have a blast & be safe (oh, and if you see Laz Alonso get a nude pic of him)
Happy BDay Cheekie
Happy Birthday Cheeks!
happy birfsday Cheekeh!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LADY CHEEKS!!!!
And I’m confused, are potlucks not Black?
“you must completely ignore this post to wish the one and only (and original) Queen (cuz she’s a Leo) Bee of VSB (Cheekie if yall aint guess) a very very very happy birthday!!!!!”
LOL, thanks dollface!
VSB Fam, the actual birfday (will be traveling all day so may be a little ghost so big ups to KB for lookin’ out ahead of time) is tomorrow (7/28) but you know how we bougie? We celebrate Birfday Eve!! POW!
i was about to say, ain’t your birthday TOMORROW!?
happy early bday cheeks. have some cheeks.
“i was about to say, ain’t your birthday TOMORROW!?”
LOL, yeah. Didn’t VSBers do the same thing to you for your birfday? I just think VSB Nation likes to dispel stereotypes. We ain’t truly on CPT, we be EARLY up in this bish. Pow!
Thats only because with think our birthday should be a national holiday and therefore giving us two weeks of vacation, for which we need to take off the day before! Make sense???
Loads.
Happy birfday lil Cheeks!!
*grabs two handfuls of cheeks, licks face and gives four trill pelvic thrusts*
it’s a bougie leo thing.
my birthday celebrations start tomorrow and go until monday! day of birth? wednesday. lol.
damn skippy.
i’m taking three days off work to make sure i exercise my born day rights to the fullest.
#TeamLeo
BAM!
When’s ya bday Bumilla?
Leos stand up!!! Pretty sure I got the week off for mine lol
#TeamLeo
#TeamLeo
#TeamLeo
Happy Birthday Eve to you Cheekie!
wish I had scrolled down before i sent my tweet, enjoy your day. the countdown is on!
Happy early Birthday, Cheeks!!! May you have a fabulous b-day potluck…at a low-key hipster art gallery…with nothing but high-brow, expensive wine…and tray-passed hors d’oeuvres, aka Cheese Whiz on Ritz crackers!!!
???????? YAY ??CHEEKIE?? !!!!!????????
???Do you know what
todaytomorrow is????!? It’s your ?????Birth-A-Versary????????Much ??? BLESSINGS ??? sent your way ?? on this your almost??EARTHSTRONG???
???travel ???safe tomorrow & have a ???great??? trip!!!!!!!
(signs my name to this birthday wish)
LOVE,
NY2VA
*faints at this glorious birfday wish* Thanks Yoles… and cosigners! Black folks comin’ together to cosign on other black folks’ ish when the reason has nothing to do with bad credit is a beautiful thang.
Happy Earthday Cheekie….sign card. Leo’s Rock!
Happy Birthday Cheekie!
Keisha, you don know how to hit that dougie? 0_0
@wayupthere:
LMFAO…um. i do not.
no one really did ever teach me.
I’m in shock, but willing to offer support. I saw Naima hittin the dougie upthread. Maybe she can help.
Don’t worry, I’mma teach her. And finish it off with a cat daddy. America, f**k yeah.
See das why I like you cheekie. You’re solutions-oriented AND giving back on your birfday! Be careful though cuz with that combination, your bougie is showing.
i cannot wait to execute my 1st feline father (s/o to lboogs). LOL.
Brooklyn
what? what about it?
Bougie ninja heaven now.
Really?! I must visit
For real? I was the grits and biscuits party this past weekend down there, and let’s just say a lot of them left the bougieness at home.
Yeah for real! I was definitely on stage at G&B thinking I was Big Meech…Larry Hoover. Good Times! #NoJJ Everybody checked the bougieness at the line (a long a$$ line at that) on the hottest day of the year.
And 2520 hipsters too.
They’re everywhere now. Like roaches. *shudders*
Have I been forgiven TAC?
I don’t know…You hurt me badly Malik. I don’t think your face licks will ever feel the same…
Can I lick your neck instead?
On topic: The Boug only light hand made scented candles during luvins. No Bed, Bath or Beyond going on over there. FYI anyone, if you’re in NYC I can get you some for the low because I can make them.
what type of candles? my mom loves them.
I’ll allow it.
I guess that means your face is all mine now….MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Eh, they’re just trying to prove how they can live alone from mommy and daddy without someone having to do their laundry and clean up after them. About 5 years ago, I was ready to lead them to the concentration camps. Le sigh…
Gas ovens are so not green enough for them.
So I guess just sticking them in the woods in Alaska and making them fend for it would be best, right?
If the Palins can do it, you betcha!
LOL, yeah as soon as my ex coworker said Brooklyn was an “up and coming” place prior to moving there, I did a honorary facepalm for the natives. LOL
you betta not talk bad about my hood
Am I the only one who thought of that Jeezy track “My Hood” from his first album after reading this comment?
E’erytime I do it, I do it for my hood….
Loved this this list, especially #3. Well done. “Maybe it’s his titties” LOL
photography. for some reason bougie ninjas, maybe all ninjas are really into photography. thats all i got right now
smoking weed out of bongs/pipes.
to go off of number 4, discuss everything wrong in the black community and be in a constant state of offended at anything slightly racial.
networking events also seem to be popping up more and more.
there seems to be a running contest for who can get into the most obscure fashion trends while simultaneously looking cool/thrown together
also must listen to all types of music or you are uncultured.
must be up on the current events in africa and have knowledge of african art
Yes, like it’s the new hobby of the moment. Everyone with a bit of expendable income done picked up a Nikon with a lens and got to work. Some of them are quite good too…others, uhm, yeah.
Another emerging hobby of the black bougie is becoming a make-up artist. If another one of my friends suddenly proclaims their “Kevin Acouin” (or however you spell his name, God rest his soul) skills must be tested on my face I’m gonna scream. Your smokey eye looks like a raccoon. Beat it!
Dag…I was bout to go get a NIKON this weekend.
Oh no, it seems as if I have some bougie tendencies. In my defense I was into film photography way before it became trendy again. Also, I working on using the sun to develop some of prints…
Can’t patronize Walmart
Must be vegan, vegetarian, toying with idea or at least know the difference between the two. (No, I won’t just eat around the bacon in the string beans… -___-)
Must have at least 2 degrees
Must have read “Our Kind Of People”
“Can’t patronize Walmart”
SEE?! This is the main reason I couldn’t be a bougie niggrette. I contently support Mr. Walton & fam too often.
Bougie Ninjas prefer Target.
Amen.
so true LOL
Aaand pronounce it “Tar-zjay”. LOL
YUP! Lol
You mean The Bullseye Boutique?!?
Stealing it!
LOL I like that
I love this! until it get’s overused, then I must find something new.
Yes! The Targets here just expanded and added a grocery section! A bougie chicks heaven!
Girl, yes. I was too happy when the local Targets got that expansion. TARGET FOR LIFE!!
I can pick up a funky lampshade, a maxi dress, a sofa table, and grab some bananas for baby boy’s breakfast all in the same place. That’s a win for me.
bougie chicks love maxi dresses.
maxi dresses are full of WIN!
*looks down at maxi dress currently being worn…
Yes they are! Summer dresses in general! Fully dressed in 2 seconds…and I’m cute! Yeah. Win!
say YES to the maxi dress!
Oh I’m not hating. I love bougie chicks IN maxi dresses.
It’s Tar-jay. Soft sensual J sound, btw.
And yes, Target >>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I don’t patronize Wal-mart if I can help it because I used to be a union organizer and I just can’t with their employer/employee practices. They are truly an outright evil company.
But their pact with Satan guarantees such low, low prices.
Right! Beware Falling Prices… Because they’re going to our HQ in HELL!
No but seriously, Arkansas is pretty close to hell. I mean would you go there?
Would you? Seriously, would you?
Folks tell me I’m going to hell anyway; why not?
Actually the prices aren’t that low. They have nice pricing when they open one but after they have eliminated all nearby competition, they slide those prices back up on you and you don’t even notice. Walmart and GE got some tru to da game business goons on the team.
Ummm….I did 6 years @ The General….elaborate por favor…
You nuccas is cut throat!
That we are….
Oh, so true. If only Jesus were cheaper…
LMAO!
I’m more offended by the people who usually shop there than Wal-Mart’s evil practices. (bougie)^2
I don’t patronize Wal-mart if I can help it because I used to be a union organizer and I just can’t with their employer/employee practices. They are truly an outright evil company.
#bougieninjalogic
Man, I’m kinda glad I saw that Walmart documentary AFTER college because I have no idea what I would’ve done after being so enlightened and air-thang. Especially a college student enlightenment. College makes you wanna change ish. Anyway, I’m mad ain’t no Costco by me because I have to frequent the devil Walmart’s cousin: Sam’s Club.
Naw.. You just can’t patronize Walmart after noon on Saturday. At least in Oakland, because that is when the Jackson/Grant/Jones Family reunions starts, and anyone with sense worth a dollar knows to be FAR AWAY..
Go early in the morning, get your cheaper than Ikea furniture and drive a way, real fast. Also good to avoid traffic.
No you need to head 3 exits over and head to your neighborhood San Leandro Wal-Mart for that ish….I never go to Hegenberger Wal-Mart. As a matter of fact, I once paid my patna 5 dollars gas money to head to the SL!
LOL, I’ve definitely read Our Kind of People. I remember reading it at my 2520 dentist office and him asking me what it was about… I’m sure my explanation was awkward.
i read it as well then discarded the book…
I hate Wallyworld with a passion but can’t ignore the low, low prices. Cheaper groceries, condoms, wind and beer.
Thing is, it seems to only be a few cents cheaper. When I do go to Wal-Mart, its always the new SuperCenter near my job. Its still relatively nice, and haven’t been overrun by the ninjas who just like to hangout in Walmart. *sigh*
Part of my issue with Wallyworld is the actual people. It’s like the state fair without funnel cakes and donkey basketball. It never fails that I get pissed off at some mom who has her kids out at 1:00 am because she’s yelling at the kid for acting up. He’s acting up because he wants to be at home! In bed!
did you say WIND???
LOLLLLL
I remember reading “Our Kind of People” for the firs time and being amazed that these ninjas existed. clearly, i aint one of them kinds of people.
hell, when i got to morehouse i kept hearing about jack & jill and wondered why so many ninjas were obsessed with fetching pails of water.
You silly!!!
My auntie had that “Our Kind of People” book. When I read it– I was shocked & amazed. I was like “who these folks?”
My bumpkin a** never heard of Jack and Jill until I saw Graham speak at a conference for minority students who attend PWIs. I wanted no parts of those kind of people.
Yeah me neither. Definitely, do.not.want…lol
Had never heard of Jack & Jill until an episode of Bernie Mac, when they joined “Jack & Jacqueline” and I was curious so I googled it
That’s the first time I heard of it too. lol
Using words like “verklempt” occasionally on your blog is a bougie ninja best practice. Oh, and off topic, Naima is fine.
Maaannn, she AIGHT!! -__-
You so silly
I’ve seen men wearing some of the gayest attire out in public and catch no flack from any ladies. Skin-tight pink button ups with a vest, ascot, pocket square and those polyester not-quite-tennis-shoes-not-quite-dress shoes from Aldo with some skinny jeans.
You have just described Kirk Franklin’s wardrobe with precision my friend.
LOL when I read that I said Panama must have caught a glimpse of Sunday Best the other night…what’s up with the high waters Kirk? The whole time I was distracted by his pants.
Yep. But ALL the men on Sunday’s best needed mirrors that night. All I could do was smh and ask Jesus to be a stylist!
Jesus wore dresses and open-toed shoes. Just sayin.
He would’ve looked better than Kirk sunday night…
HA!
I must Google this asapedly…
Not Buff Jesus. He wore wife beaters, bball shorts, and adidas flip flops.
W/the white & grey ankle socks, and he walked w/a slight limp.
It was from a knee injury he sustained playing in a 5-on-5 basketball tournament with the disciples. You know that’s where he fed the multitude. I hear the fish was bangin that day.
they are not high waters.. they are men peddle pushers.. act like you know Snarky
You’re right I should know better!
you know, i’ve seen some pics of Kirk Franklin lately and he does have a certain myoutfitisfcukedandubergay about his habadashery.
how about flashy with the name brands? trying to emulate their money is all good just to “fit in” with the fashion trends… saw it while I was in college…
Bougie ninjas MUST stay posted up studying, pretending to read, or hunting for women/men in coffee shops and cafes looking contemplatively out of one of the floor-to-ceiling windows at the non-bougie ninjas who would dare (or can’t afford to) spend $5-$10 on a frappe or real fruit smoothie.
Also, using analogies, similes, metaphors, and other figures of speech just so you can throw in the phrase “if you will.”
Of course you’d say that. Guys named “Chris” also hate fallacies as much as they support circumcision. Circumcision is so debilitating, I was circumcised the day I was born & couldn’t walk for at least a year.
a Non sequitur, if you will.
Chris, as it were, use of a simile,vis-a-vis a metaphor, if you will, can add to the intellectualism of a convo. it is what it is
this made me giggle.
Wonderful, but I would much rather listen to ghetto babble than people who think they’ve mastered the language because they know a few big words, and misuse them
You mean like him:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrjCX8ude04
LOL!
“Let me clarifly, or ‘scuse clitify….in otherwords, I’d probably teach”
hahahaha
“Confruscious”?????? LMAO! So dead. For the record, I like to refer to myself as “Boughetto”. The young poet from St. Louis described it best in his song. What’s one thing bougie folks do? Avoid certain stores/places like the plague. They’d never be caught dead at the hood mall, movie theater, Wal-Mart. They shop clear cross town to avoid the riff raff. Hey…at times I do it too, the hood Wal-Mart is 5 mins from me, but to avoid catching a case, I make the extra drive.
+me
yep.
but you do see the most interesting outfits at the hood Wal-mart. smh… black women have no shame at the hood walmart. smh…
You ain’t neva lied. I stopped by a recently hoodmart here in the ATL with a cousin. While waiting for her, the outfits was enough to keep me EN-TER-TAINED….serioulsy. Such a sad sad day…lol I’ll take Publix anyday over
“outfits”?? Most of the chicks I see look like they just rolled out bed, and got in the car…lol
you know this is so true. i was dating this chick once and she made me drive CLEAR across the damn DMV to take her to Tyson’s Corner instead of going to PG Plaza which i always seem to live near (though i stay in DC…NE!!! UPT!!!). all b/c she didnt want to go to the hood mall.
i like pg plaza. the african scented oil/knockoff watch/as seen on TV stand always has interesting items.
As a PG Plaza regular during my youth, I make a point to go as often as I can (it reminds me of my humble beginnings). Now the malls I frequent are The Grove and The Beverly Center. LOL
Hahahaaahahahahahhaahahaha. All of the above resonates. I agree, women are much better at figuring out where not to go. I try really hard not to have that squinch face when someone suggests a club in NE, but I can’t.
Additional rule:
1. Bougie Blacks also have to be up on politics and have a reason beyond “I voted for the Black guy” for why they’re Democrats. I remember I went to a “Hill Happy Hour” and someone commented that the Dems had control of Congress since 08 and a chorus of folks said, “uhhh. 2006 b&#$H!” Geez!
so does this mean that Stadium is out? They got good food!!!
You go out for “SUSHI”.
WhyTF is ‘sushi’ the only food that is stressed in the invitation??? Nobody says: ‘let’s go out for pasta/fried chicken etc…..’
LOLLLL
truuuuue!!!
LOL
Well then let’s stay in for sushi. I’ll go by Harris Teeter and grab some on my way home from work. What’s your preference? LOL!
bougie ninjas sushi menu goes past california rolls and knows the difference between hot and cold sake…..
Do you live in the south? ‘Cause Harris Teeter is da bomb!!! I love it when they have those meat sales (filet mignon for like $10). The one in my town is where all the bougie ninjas shop at. lol.
Yeah. I live in VA. The butcher section at my Harris Teeter is the business! Four words for you, Ground lamb… LAMB BURGERS!!!!
I got to try the lamb burgers. I like shopping at Harris Teeter late at night (around 9pm) b/c its one of the few grocery stores where the shopping experience is second to none (first would be Whole Foods. Always packed)
There’s a Teeter a block from my office. The $2.99 sub lunch is the movie. There sushi is good but Publix has a better selection to me.
The Teeter is the truth!
Guilty! LOL
OMG, the sushi invite is the WORST! I prefer my food cooked, & don’t think I’mma wanna get dressed & ride out for California/Dragon rolls (for those of us who avoid the raw stuff)!! PASS!
Sushi? So 2000 & Late. It’s about the Japanese Noodle/Thai invite. Get with it, hello!
“Skin-tight pink button ups with a vest, ascot, pocket square and those polyester not-quite-tennis-shoes-not-quite-dress shoes from Aldo with some skinny jeans. Somehow, someway, this became acceptable attire. I don’t know when stylish dudes decided that looking gay was the way to get women, but it seems to be the case. Perhaps this is a DC-ATL-NYC-LA problem but really, someone please call 911.”
Somewhere Farnsworth Bentley just let out an angry yell.
I didn’t even finish reading the post. After I read this, I immediately raced to comments. P, preaching that gospel right now.
Let da chuuch say Yay-men!Like have some of us forgot the fact that we should dress like we’re actually men? I live in NYC and this isht is an epidemic. I walk out the crib and wonder how guys walk around like this and then try to step to a VSS? Style is fine, and in some cities requisite, but that up there ^ is ridiculous.Who the hell made this acceptable? Like who did ninjas see doing this and think “Hmm. Lemme throw out all my clothes and buy nothing but smediums dress shirts and polos, dainty shirts, and skinny jeans! The women will love it!” ?
hahaha im mad you said dainty though
My question is who is sellin these ascots?? Fred?? Cause that’s the only time I’ve seen one in real life. And that still ain’t even real life
“Like who did ninjas see doing this and think “Hmm. Lemme throw out all my clothes and buy nothing but smediums dress shirts and polos, dainty shirts, and skinny jeans!”
That sh*t is f*ckin’ hideous, and needs to be stopped!
You absolutely MUST be willing and able to live tweet Obeezy’s press conferences, speeches, etc. If you are not in the know about the President and his business, you can’t be part of the bougie Pegro set.
Yasss! *Passes offering plate*…
@NY2VA
I have noticed that Obama is the poster child or mascot of the Black middle class. What I hear about Obama in the hood and what I hear from the Black middle class is not the same.
Thing is, I think it varies from hood to hood and there is variation generationally (is this a real word), as well. Hood or no hood, Obama can do no wrong with the older folks, unless their name is Tavis Smiley or Cornell West (no shots, I love Dr. West… just not speaking to him right now).
THIS!!!!!!!!!!
HAHHA!!!! You enjoyed my Obama live tweets the other night huh? #RGS
You know it!!!!
OK?! You will get TALKED ABOUT if you live-tweeting ANY thing other than Barry O’s speeches/press conferences/breaking news ish. Especially if you live-tweeting hoodrat ish. lol
Whenever you complement a bougie ninja on something they’re wearing or something in their home, they reply, “o this, I picked it up at this open air market in St. Tropez” or… “i saw this while I was vacationing in Capri…the artist gave me such a deal, even with the exchange rate, I just couldn’t love without it…”
…and I would reply with a hearty side-eye & a #FOH.
*snickers*
i know somebody who does this. in fact, she told me that part of the reason she travels so much is so that she can get authentic sh*t, come back here, and when somebody comments on it, she can say she got it from…ghana…or prague…or wherever. she told me that she INTENTIONALLY lives her life so that she can tell people how worldly she is. i wish i was making this up.
Naw, you can’t make sh*t like that up dude *lol*.
PJack, you’re bullsh*ttin’!!! This can’t be true!
I think a throat punch for her is in order.
Indeed!!!
funny thing is half the ish from ‘exotic’ places is Made is China…just flip it over or turn it around…I’ve been “got” by a local artist or 2
#guilty I do it with clothes. I cannot accept a compliment on a dress without saying “oh this? I picked this up at a souk in Marrakesh.”
Adding to the list.
- Eats Ethiopian food and talks about love of honey wine.
- Has a blog with philosophical musings about the state of hip hop. References Native Tongues.
- Hosts dinner parties not house parties. Everyone must take off their shoes…
- Wheres blazers with bright colored shirts underneath
- Decorates house with Afro-centric art pieces
- Names children after famous black political figures
“Has a blog with philosophical musings about the state of hip hop. References Native Tongues.”
ALL. DAY. LONG. I’ll add to this that teaching your young children to love and appreciate the musical stylings from the Golden Age of Hip Hop. My 5yo knows what’s good. #teachtheyouth
“Host dinner parties, not house parties. Everyone must take off their shoes”
I’m a ghettosnob really, but this right here,is my pass into Middleclass snobbery. Also I fret about the shoes since that horrid and legandary episode of SATC,when carrie’s shoes were stolen (Every SINgle & childfree womans anthem episode).
I didn’t realize how bougie I am
>- Names children after famous black political figures
I’ve already decided I want my 1st son to named Walter Sisulu
>- Eats Ethiopian food and talks about love of honey wine.
I just visited Blue Nile (Ethio restaurant; Ann Arbor, MI) & the food was on point; and honey wine? Out of this world!! (didn’t even realize Ethiopia produced wine!)
#carryOn
If you are in Ann Arbor, I will be moving there soon. I know that I will desperately need black friends. This is an open invitation to be my friend IRL.
Thanks. I’m flattered. Unfortunately I don’t live in Ann Arbor.
I drove in just to go to Blue Nile. I’m about 45 minutes East. But Ann Arbor really fun (night life, tech hub, etc.) & is not a big metropole. You’ll be fine.
blue nile moved to ann arbor???
yep.
I checked bluenilemi.com & looks like they’re also in Ferndale. I’d been hearing about it for like 2 years (supposedly best ethnic food in Ann Arbor, highly rated etc.) & wanted to try it. I drove 45 minutes on July-4th weekend to try check it out.
Great dining experience. Worth. Every. penny!
@Simba.Africanna, NomadaNare, and randomeffery
Not sure if you all are in the Detroit area but there is another Ethiopian restaurant in Downtown Detroit that I heard was pretty good.
I had no idea.
I just Googled it. Is it Taste Of Ethiopia on Russell st.?
@simba.africanna
“I just Googled it. Is it Taste Of Ethiopia on Russell st.?”
Yes. That’s it.
They used to be in Southfield…i looooove this place…last time I saw the owner, she said she was moving to Royal Oak…glad she chose the D
naima
- Has a blog with philosophical musings about the state of hip hop. References Native Tongues.
U need to stop stalking the future me.
Damn, with every comment I am looking more bougie. I even have a honey wine connection, not “hook up”, named Nigel. Because you can’t buy it in stores.
Hey, I’ll let you borrow my ghettoness. I’ve managed to get two degrees from college, avoid this ratchedness AND keep my distance from the hood stuff. What ever happened to being a regular Negro? No Whole Foods, no ghetto fried chicken, but a healthy balance meal in your middle-class home.
And besides, Wallyworld has some cheap-a$$ diapers.
The regular negro is the new bouge.
@Todd & NY2VA
Yeah regular has become the new bougie. Bougie ninjas act like everything in the hood is dysfunctional.
In my experience, it isn’t that the hood is more dysfunctional per se. It’s just that dysfunction, a lack of pride and a lack of stake in “the system” tends to put a bit of stank on the ratchetness.
I am so with you on that. I grew up middle class. Which is working class for 2520s. In a house with two parents, yard and dog. My dad worked for the city and had a blue collar. We ate hamburger helper and didn’t wear any designer labels. So I shop at Walmart, still won’t wear labels unless its at Marshals. I love Jaspers and live in Prince George’s on purpose. But I keep my distance from ghetto folk. So does that mean I can stick my nose up when the gentrifiers arrive?
Yes, you can. Feel free. Hell, on an inflation adjusted basis, my parents cleared six figures when I was growing up, sent me to private school (even though I had a partial academic scholarship for HS) and worked in white collar jobs, and I still grew up like you.
But you’re right. There are no grey areas in this world.
I love Jaspers brunch. But Jaspers is also the place where I first heard a waitress pronounce the L’s in the word quesadillas. My girls and I were under the fcuking table.
the bone crushes and dark vadar drinks at jaspers are excellent.
I toe the line on bougie and hood. Jaspers is good with me. not my fave brunch (I am pretty bougie about those) but it is good for everything IMO
I just can’t get past how Ethiopian food LOOKS. Everything I”ve seen looks mushy and wet. Yuck.
of course you must take off your shoes..
WHO WEARS SHOES THROUGH A HOUSE DOE??????
oh. sorry for yelling.
one more – knowledge of random music/art/designers and when they become a trend it becomes basic, or old news.
Nothing worse than when something new and dope becomes all popular and ish.
I would say I’m “boughetto.” I’m Bougie, but I’m definitely still rough around the edges. Will I go to a hood cookout with my Marc Jacobs purse hanging on my forearm (where it will stay all day?) Damn skippy!
Do I go to black professional happy hours and then complain that they aren’t playing any dancehall or Rick Ross? Heck yeah (sn: it definitely IS the tiddays!)
Lastly, do I support my natural sisters and defend them if my employer makes a comment, but still go HARD for my creamy crack? (fly, short cuts just aren’t the same without it) Absolutely!
OMG!!!! Yes!!!! Bougie chicks carry their purses on their forearms!
Side note: why does Queen Elizabeth always carry her purse? Is Buckingham that hood?
It’s where she keeps her ciggies and her “personal massager”. A true queen can’t be caught anywhere without those things.
Hehehe
I spit out my coffee on that one!
She’s also got a snub nosed .38 made of Adamantium with pearl handle in her purse. That sh*t is mad dainty.
Preach!!!!
I did the natural thing for a year, but I had to go back to my relaxer!! I missed my fabulous cuts that were laid to perfection!! To each their own, I say!
Bougie ninjas scoff @ American cars….act like they don’t know what the hood is, let alone where to find it…carry Amex…gold or platinum….green or blue are not even an option…have had to get extra pages for their passport…
and they have at least one skymiles credit/debit card
that’s a big one…bougie ninjas LOVE them some skymiles. that way they can tell you that they got a ticket to Buenos Aires for free.
Bougie ninjas have seen the inside of the (insert airline here) lounge
@Yaadgyrl
“Bougie ninjas scoff @ American cars”
This is funny because they usually buy crappy foreign cars. No son your base model 3-series is not better than a CTS-V.
Yeah, beat it with your 325i or God forbid….your 1 series…..The CTS-V is a MONSTER…and that CTS coupe is sexiness on wheels.
Are you female? You can’t be talking about the CTS-V like a certified gearhead.
Haha… My ex was an e46 fanatic. By default I became a BMW fan… Been hooked on cars since… I’m not a car snob though. I love my 335 but my dudes CTS coupe is the sexiest thing out right now and I take pride in knowing I strongly influenced his decision in getting one. My car sounds waaaasy better though. I will never frown on a Honda (my 01 Accord is still kicking) and anyone who cops that new Sonata is smart to me… You get like everything you could ever want in a car + a 10 year warranty for like $24…
@YaadgyrI
I’m and e46 fan too. That was last time BMW’s quality and design was on par with each other. Its cool that you’re a gearhead too. You understand the value/performance balance that car snobs don’t get. I can appreciate a Porsche 911 and a Mustang.
One of the best cars of our generation. If I ever ran across a 04-06 330ci convertible (Monaco blue with navy top and terracotta interior) with low miles, I might snatch it up.
@Yaadgyrl: I remember driving one (335 coupe) for the “Race for the Cure” a couple years ago. I was lucky enough to transport one from BMW dealership Winston-Salem, NC to the dealership in Hickory, NC (approx: 70 miles straight interstate). Now that was some FUN!
And then even called it an e46 too… I’m flabbergasted. I’m not a fan on the CTS coupe, the ass is a little too big, and I feel that turning such a large platform into a coupe is a little ridiculous. That being said if someone gave me one I wouldn’t sell it. I’m more a fan of exotics. I plan on owning something very quick someday. My tastes lean more towards Aventadors, Sagaris, and R8′s. Here’s a treat:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrDRdna-Rxg&feature=youtu.be
@NomadaNare:
Ah, there you are! Was hoping I’d find you here.
Apologies for the tardiness in my response, but the O-Man is needed in many places these days; at any rate, here is my response to you on yesterday’s VSB discussion:
http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/man-up/#comment-314789
Looking forward to chewing the fat with ya.
O.
The butt is a little rotund but it’s a cool car… I promise you. I’m not quite @ the exotics level yet… One day.
Drats!
* as I cancel my appointment to test drive a base model 3-series this w/end*
carry Amex…gold or platinum…
This ought to be hilarious soon since now Amex has a prepaid card…
And it comes in gold and platinum….
Somewhere a bougie ninja is starting a letter writing campaign to Ken Chenault about the negative impact this will have on the AMEX brand…this here is sure to be a topic of conversation at bougie ninja’s dining ( not dinner) tables….
LMAO!!!!
lol bougie ninjas use a knife and fork the “european way”: no switching between the knife and fork on one hand, but keeping the fork in the left hand and knife in the right
Funny! You must own (but you don’t need to know how to play any more than a few chords) an acoustic guitar that you showcase in the corner of your sunroom. Even better if you walk around town with it strapped to you.
You must watch and appreciate movies such as Medicine for Melancholy and try to convince your ghetto gf’s that Wyatt and the little dude from Community are as good looking as the Bidris Eljo’s of the world.
You must appreciate the cultures of everybody BUT the African American negro/negress
You must self-identify with one of the Cosby or Diff World kids and you must pretend not to know what others are talking about when they make jokes from the tele sitcom Martin. (“Who is this Otis you speak of?”)
That’s all I got! Great post.
I have an acoustic guitar. It was displayed in my sunroom – until I realized kneegrows in ATL were kicking in doors for pawnable items and I place it in my spare closet.
At least I can play a lil bit tho. Sitting on the Dock of the Bay is mys signature piece.
“the little dude from Community are as good looking as the Bidris Eljo’s of the world.”
No.
Bidris Eljo…
BWHAHAHAAAA
LOL cuz i totally identified with Denise on Cosby & Freddie on A Diff World…and my parents did NOT let me watch Martin…or in living color…
i love Martin now, but in living color is “whatever” to me. & I think Wyatt Cenac is pretty doable…clearly idris is hotter…
maybe i’m bougie after all??
i wasn’t in to TV like that as a kid & there are plenty black movies i either never saw or were unmemorable to me…i was & still am way more into books…i think that has more to do with having parents who loved books & preferring mental stimulation to “entertainment” , than being “bougie” though.
lol i agree. I always thought I was the Freddie Brooks of NJ, even more so after I read my mother’s copy of Buppies B-Boys Baps and Bohos from Nelson George when I was a pre-teen. We were not allowed to watch Martin so I actually only started watching it in recent syndication. At the time, I am sure I would have turned up my nose to it. Just like I turn up my nose to movies like State Property but will eagerly watch a movie like Juice because it’s older and I feel like I’m watching it in a post-modern way. I’m the product of a very artistic hippie background with my parents both touring the world as a child as musicians and doing theatre so I couldn’t shake the Boho off of me if I tried. I am kind of bougie though. I suck, lol!
O and I think Wyett C is adorable and funny but that be’s about it. And I can play the beginning of Stairway to Heaven and the sick guitar part from Hotel California so obviously I think I’m the chit with a soft c.
Def fit into bougie ninga category just paid $25 on Sunday for brunch with other bougie negros but def not on the reg, and def have to go to certain stores once a month….. since my grad student status this is about to start I will have to stop this except on special occasions like Spelhouse homecoming
If you’re ever in Philly, lemme introduce you to a place called Lacroix… best brunch I’ve ever been to… easily $160ish for 2 people. Especially if you get your drinky drink on. No bottomless mimosas here.
Yeah I have to think real hard about this one..see to “ghetto” people I’m “Bougie” to “Bougie” people (even some of you boujie ninjas on here) I’m “Hood”…. it’s all about the audience with me. I’ve never really fit neatly into either of those boxes. ..I like art, I be reading n shyt, I like ratchet music,rock n roll and everything in between,I will go out west for a Gpan, Avalon and 118th for a burger, and brave Washington Park for some Belizean food. but will not do a hood club because I aint about dat life, and hate being around sweaty yaki and lycra…since a lot of the folks I chill with kinda are as unplaced as I am more or less, most of my encounters with “Bougie” ninja’s has been online…so I will post my observations..
1. They like “craft beers” and loathe anyone who consumes domestic malt liquor.
2. They like to make fun of people who go to “vocational schools” and trade colleges.
3. The bougie women folk like to use words like “heteronormative”, and wax poetic about “lovin the brown skin they’re in” and musical tastes range from Neo Soul to 90′s RnB.
4. You must know and like Esperanza Spaulding, and K’naan.
5. They never have ‘irresponsible” chex…God no.
“.see to “ghetto” people I’m “Bougie” to “Bougie” people (even some of you boujie ninjas on here) I’m “Hood”…. it’s all about the audience with me.”
I understand your plight.
“but will not do a hood club because I aint about dat life, and hate being around sweaty yaki and lycra…”
The hood club has never appealed to me. I just can’t. I love my people and I love my hood, but I’ll be damned if I would go to the Q-Club, Krystal’s, the Scene, or any of those hood spots I grew up around. Ain’t NEVA been bout that life.
Ditto on hood clubs, you won’t catch me at The Dragonfly, Green Dolphin, Secrets, Ibiza nonathat! I don’t get dolled up to smell straight body, synthetic hair, and pay 20-30 bux at the door to look at mishapen women, and greasy ni@@as, just cuz you got some Pier 1 accent pillows.
Lmao @ “Pier 1 accent pillows”….you a fool for this right here…
Ha, you haven’t seen “hood clubs” till you’ve gone to Boutique and/or Zentra. “Ratchetness” doesn’t even come close to describing what goes on in those places…
That is exactly what I was referring to when I said “Pier 1 accent pillows” because that is what you are paying for. The problem in Chicago, is a lot of the hood clubs are charging boujie club prices. And bottle service ? 150 for a mid size 30 oz bottle of watered down goose and a sticky table? That’s why you se 12 people at a table meant to sit 6.
In actually I prefer mixed clubs. They are usually reasonably priced, though I rarely have to pay going in, nobody is too busy trying to look hard, cute, or cool.even though the music may suck for the first hour, and I never want to hear a techo version to 50 cent ever again…and they love them some Pitbull And it’s fun to watch drunk white guys in long sleeve Affliction shirts dance..it makes me happy.
I prefer a bar to these overpriced arse clubs any day. I can sit & have a Long Island while talking sh*t w/my friends w/out shouting over nothing but bass & watching a bunch of 2 for $10 weave wearing jezebels shake their cellulite all over the place.
Never not once…hood clubs are everything I hate (but secretly love seeing on tv) about black folks. Bad weave, drama, ratchet clothes, baby mamma/daddy drama, emotional n*ggas…all dat. I can’t do it.
I’m odd woman out I see. I love a hood club.
That ish is entertaining. Where else am I gonna hear my favorite “bust it wide open” jams?
Cosign!! I can’t get down with the whole “going out to be seen” crowd. If I’ma drop this cash on cover and drinks somebody gonna need to come pop some cheeks my way ASAP!
I’ll take a a hole in the wall, or hood spot anyday over some pretentious azz club with overpriced drinks & everyone standing around looking at each other.
The last hole in the wall I went to, I spent $15 all night. $8 on cover, and $7 on a goose/cranberry–which was 95% goose, btw. I was good, all night!! Folks was two stepping, and mingling. Good times.
“I’ll take a a hole in the wall, or hood spot anyday over some pretentious azz club with overpriced drinks & everyone standing around looking at each other.”
This is why we are destined to party wif each other. *dap*
When I make it to Chi-town, we’re definitely gonna kick it at a hood spot…lol
Cosign this here!! I can’t even fool with the “going out to be seen” crowd. If I’ma drop this cash on cover and drinks somebody gonna need to come pop some cheeks my way ASAP!
4. Esperanza can be the mother of my kids. She can have a girl and a boy and they both will have big afros just like their momma. I am not going to front, I really do like her music b/c she is really talented and incredibility attractive.
I give all music a try and I attempted to listen to Esperanza, I popped in the CD and was like:
Oh she has a lovely voice…boy she sure can play that..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Me too! I thought I was just not getting it.
I felt the same way about Norah Jones. I mean, lovely voice, great song quality but unless I want to go to sleep, I can’t listen to them.
Audio Ambien Like What
But I fux with Nora. Even when I don’t have insomnia.
The only song I can listen (and stay conscious too) by Norah Jones, is the joint she did with Andre 3000, “Take Off Your Cool” I never want that song to end…Ironically its the shortest song on the album.
I remember that song pretty well. It was on point.
Yeah I always wanna say it’s my fave on Speakerboxx till I listen to “She Lives In My Lap”…
That’s actually a great song.
But that whole album was super on point and ahead of its time. Even the more eccentric tracks like “She’s Alive” were good; and yes, I’m currently listening to the album.
“Prototype” has gotta be my fav on The Love Below
I love both albums. Outkast still gets heavy rotation from me.
(gets ready to play “Bowtie”)
I love her joint with Q-Tip. #NativeTongues
lmao at the sleepy trail off. nicely done
I love saying “Bowtie” when listening to “Bowtie” and I don’t even have time to lament on my absolute stanship over Outkast…and Speakerboxx/TheLoveBelow
Off of Speakerboxx..it’s either “Bowtie” “Ghetthomusick”..”Knowing”..or “Unhappy”
Love Below..man damn near all of em….Every time I think of a favorite, I remember something else I love..I love “Vibrate”
Me and you are so here on this Outkast thing.
(does the “Morris Brown” outta this comment thread)
I do notice that bougie folk don’t ever really mention any Kast albums before Aquemini at the absolute earliest. And lord forbid they know who Cool Breeze, Witchdoctor, or Backbone are!
“I do notice that bougie folk don’t ever really mention any Kast albums before Aquemini at the absolute earliest”
Uh oh!!!
If you weren’t a fan from SouthernPlayalistic, you were late to the game…lol
I saw Witchdoctor once when they came through here w/ Goodie Mob. Totally forgot about them kats.
Xcuse me I love me some Cool Breeze lil Buddy! I was a stan of the whole Dungeon Family even Big Gipp (now you know….) and I even bought a copy of Joi’s Star Kitty’s Revenge! I actually kinda love that CD.
“Lick” and “Missin’ You” were great songs.
Yep Star Kitty was pretty good, and slept on.
I went to see Joi in concert while she was promoting Star Kitty! She opened for Raphael Saadiq. . .
I am a stan for all Outkast!! From the very beginning!
And, I am too many things in these lists (including Jack N Jill). . . so I am totally bougie (with a tinge of ghetto for good measure)!
me and you? we here ><
I’m guilty of number one. But see….see…I lived overseas and sh*t and got a taste for the good stuff. MGD and Bud ain’t gonna do it for me…ever.
“MGD and Bud ain’t gonna do it for me…ever.”
See, now you and Tammi Roman can never be friends
And that’s just fine by me. LOL
Tammi Roman… *shudders*
All beer is the devil’s piss. Ugh.
All beer taste like fart in bathwater to me..but then again I haven’t tasted all beer, but meh, I’ll just roll with that generalization.
Implying that you have tasted a fart in bathwater…Interesting.
Please don’t ask me how I know what the devil’s piss tastes like though. I’m still somewhat traumatized by the whole thing.
Just wait till I can think of a snappy comeback..just wait….
Satan got his Kelz on with TAC. That’s why she stay with the bitter beer face!
Cause it smells like hot wet moldy wonder bread, dipped in the devil’s piss
Agreed. Domestic or imported, that sh*t is disgusting.
Budweiser is God’s fruit punch but I wish I could afford Stella from time to time though.
@Misty Knight & NY2VA
” I’m “Bougie” to “Bougie” people (even some of you boujie ninjas on here) I’m “Hood””
Glad you said it and its not just me. Although I’ll still do a hood party or club occasionally I hope I never get so out of touch that I can’t enjoy the company of hood people.
Ditto. I still do a few “hood” events.. a lot of my guy friends are “club promoters” (..I know I know..) but I never feel uncomfortable, and hope I never do. I’ve been to “bougie” party’s ,(READ: LA Clubs North of the 90 East) I need to be able to jig without judgment.
Well, hell… outside of me shopping at Wal-Mart, my ignorance of wine, and my no f*cks to give about wearing a pocket square, I’m bougie according to most other practices on here. #KanyeShrug
Now excuse me as I drink my $5 frap on my way to go eat sushi. Would anyone like to come conmigo and get some Sushi?
Let’s go to the sushi buffet. I know a fabulous one in Bethesda!
…but bougie people don’t do buffets. Lol. Food must at least appear to be made to order
It is made to order at this buffet. That’s why it’s FABULOUS!
@Misty Knight
” They like to make fun of people who go to “vocational schools” and trade colleges.”
Right. Which is odd since a lot of these people that went to vocational or trade school make way more money than them and their 2-3 degrees.
“Right. Which is odd since a lot of these people that went to vocational or trade school make way more money than them and their 2-3 degrees.”
BULLET!!
Rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, me say Oh MAN DOWN
LMAO!
Hate u. #studentloanslave
I just made my $850 online payment about 40 minutes ago. #Ipaytwomortgages
*Lol*.
Laugh at a dude with HVAC certifications if you want too! That ninja has clients, a nice salary, and get’s to charge triple the price when an emergency happens. He’s winning!
@ Wu Young
Word up. The guy/girl that went to trade and vocational school is beneath you until you have to cough up 1/2 to 3/4 of your paycheck to pay them for repairing or remodeling your ish b/c you don’t have the skill or talent to do it.
In this heat wave we’re having, dude is winning on some “All I Do Is Win” status right now.
Say the truth Humble. Folks forget about that quickly.
Hey, I like craft beers. They’re the business. But I’m with you on the rest of them. Where is there a country for the non-bougie, non-ghetto Negroes of America? Is there a country for us?
No. Grey areas are unwelcome, unfun poopers of the hyperbole party. STFU.
Alright. (Goes in the corner with his non-organic buffalo chicken and mixed veggies.)
joins you in the corner. do you got that ranch dip?
Here you go Lina!
Brooklyn. Northern Virgina, too. Bougie kneegrows don’t do VA. They stay in the District, Prince George’s or Montgomery County, MD.
“Hmm…has anybody noticed how liberal we are with male fashion choices? Honestly, ladies, I blame this all on you. I’ve seen men wearing some of the gayest attire out in public and catch no flack from any ladies. Skin-tight pink button ups with a vest, ascot, pocket square and those polyester not-quite-tennis-shoes-not-quite-dress shoes from Aldo with some skinny jeans. Somehow, someway, this became acceptable attire. I don’t know when stylish dudes decided that looking gay was the way to get women, but it seems to be the case. Perhaps this is a DC-ATL-NYC-LA problem but really, someone please call 911.”
Dude, your nuts.
*Literally*
***Whistles while perusing StreetEtiquette.com***
–returns to lurk mode–
LOLLL. *welcome*
You know, I wouldn’t say stylish is gay these days as much as it just seems douchebaggey. I really am not feelin SE cuz the dudes be lookin like douchebags and particularly unmanly. I appreciate their ability to put an outfit together. But if I saw a dude liek that day in day out and fashion wasn’t his career, I’d just think he’s weird.
If these are the characteristics, I’m not bougie. I’m simply a country girl that went out and got some ejumication. A lil bit of bougie jumps on me from time to time, but I shake it off like the lil ninjas in the G Dep Special Delivery video.
Ha ha this post is hootlarious! So my list of boughie ninja hashish in no order of course, they like:
Hummus
BYOB & Tapas restaurants
Brunch on Sunday
Mimosas
Wine & Cheese Parties
Target over Wal-Mart
Traveling (Mexico and Canada do not count)
Pruis’ and other eco friendly cars
Boat Shoes – even tho most don’t own boats
Gentrified Neighborhoods
Charter Schools
Neo Soul Music but know all the words to the most gutter butt ratchet songs on the radio
Ray-Ban Sunglasses
Organic Foods
Apple Products and Moleskin Notebooks
I will come back with more in the morning…
If I nod my head to 10 things on this list, does this mean?!?!
That you better hit your bougie, guhl. Gone head. You know you want to.
Girl go forth and accept your boughie…wear it well it feels like velvet!!!
Yep…go head and embrace your inner Hillary Banks…:)
Chile I’m from Southside Jamaica, Queens. Hood all DAY! Even I had to acquiese and accept my pegro status and embrace my bouge.
Here’s your bouge badge. Don’t squirm. I don’t wanna stick you.
*Reaches over to pin it on you*
I’ve been fighting this bougie ish for a minute… I can’t fight no mo…
Ditto…10
LOL – and with all this My Name is NinaFontaine and I am a bougie ninja!
+1
Negro, you know you’ve been bourgeois since 8th grade.
Gee thanks for calling me out FRIEND!!!! Takes one to know one :p
+Yoles
-2 things
Spot on list!
listen.. hummus is a great alternative to ranch/spinach dips for carrots!
mmmm…garlic-kygoodness
If you like hummus…BEST EVER is at this Israeli/Mediterranean restaurant in Philly called Zahav….get the tasting menu – you will beg them for more hummus and that warm flat bread they serve with it.
Bougie folks are/were affiliated with some greek or national black organization and will look for opportunities to drop that info amongst other bougie folks in hopes to find a fellow member and discuss an upcoming conference.
And Bougie ninjas LOVE conferences
We do. And I’m not ashamed either.
You must be well traveled
Its always funny to me to hear a bougie ninja talk about world travel and they’ve only been to 1 place out of their respective country.
I find that to be a US thing. Us Europeans have no damm choice but to travel, to get away for some decent weather every 6-8 weeks…I do hold my 4th passport,does this make me an offical ghettosnob?
It’s true for the UK but not for us in the mediterranean region. The weather is fine all year long
I’ve noticed that many bougie kneegrows have been to places outside of the US but know NOTHING about other regions of the US. New Orleans doesn’t count because all bougie kneegrows have been to Essence Fest. I don’t wanna hear about your international travel if you haven’t even been to the state adjacent to yours. Basic a$$ bougie kneegrows.
CTFU!!!
HA HA!
that’s so true. i remember getting into an argument with a friend of mine b/c she told me i wasn’t cultured enough b/c i keep saying i want to visit places in the US that i aint been to. she’s like you need to get out and see the world. nevermind that i was actually RAISED overseas. that trips me out though. i aint been to seattle, seen mt rushmore or the grand canyon and i need to take my ass to paris first?
“that trips me out though. i aint been to seattle, seen mt rushmore or the grand canyon and i need to take my ass to paris first?”
I am in TEARS because I’ve been to Paris and haven’t seen these monuments either LOL
Non-traveling in the US kneegrows have no idea how much there is to see in the States. They also tend to think that the only difference between American kneegrows is hood-raised vs. suburb-raised.
Its true but in my defense I do couple my world travel was primarily work related vs personal (that’s a bougie thing to say huh? ) but I do travel quite a bit across the continental US I just don’t do outdoors very well i.e camping and hiking (mt. rushmore, grand canyon) LOL and I’ve resided in 3 states in the union. I did however admit ^^^ I would be considered a ninja of the bougie persuasion by the lists formed here today!
I don’t do that outdoors ish either. I need a hotel..
“i aint been to seattle, seen mt rushmore or the grand canyon and i need to take my ass to paris first?”
Okay? That does not make one bit of sense…lol
I also have an issue with people visiting the West Indies and US, but by passing areas of Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales, likes it not part of the United Kingdom. Have enough friends who look at me crazy when I say ” Peak district is crazy beautiful” ” Where in Spain is that?”
Hahah.
It works the same way even in other parts of the globe huh?
Well, held to the standards of this here post, I am not bougie.
I can sleep well tonight.
Co-sign.
#4 in the original post doesn’t count. Everyone hates BET.
Yes, they do. Even her –> http://twitter.com/#!/pinchmycheekie/status/95654979188166656
Add:
For the DC negrobougies:You must appear to be “out of town on business travel” atleast once a month. Eventhough out of town on business travel really just means “in Alexandria for a one-day, 8- hour HOUR training on anti-harassment practices in the workplace.
2.You must have 3 degrees by age 26, work a full-time job, but still maintain a nightlife prescence as one of 15,246 “Upscale Public Relations Coordinators for elite events” (read:party promoter)and have a “connect” at any and every negrobougie hot spot.
And I concur with the sushi and brunch listings from above….guilty as charged. Lol.
i honestly think that you could randomly pick 10 ninjas in DC (not locals, but transplants…so cherrypick ninjas on U Street) and follow them around for a week and get a full fledged view of what the New Bougie Ninja looks like.
Your social circle reflects your professional circle.
Yes when I was younger I learnt the art of delegating people to some events and exculding from others. Sorry but that loud ghetto friend CAN NOT make the work dinner of the year, or awards sumer party, Much less, you decide to host a garden party (snob), and bring in your friend, who loves to discus sex techniques and cheap yaki. You will be fired by Sunday morning.
I agree. Know your people and help them stay in their lane. If they are interested in lane changing, make SURE they know what they are signing on for PLEASE coach them up properly. You don’t need them having a melt down in public because they didn’t have a witty comeback for some condescending bougie em effer at the garden party. Even goons refrain from kicking over chairs and mean mugging toddlers at the garden party.
“Even goons refrain from kicking over chairs and mean mugging toddlers at the garden party.”
Exactly. We got home training and sh*t.
#RGS
I’m going off my interactions with buppies recently. These ninjas trip me out.
1. They drink spritzers and perrier water
2. They are usually vegetarians.
3. Wouldn’t dare bust out a game of horseshoes, dominoes, or bid wiz at a bbq. That’s too hood ninja.
4. Hip hop doesn’t exist if it wasn’t made in the 80′s or 90′s. Kanye West, Common, Blackstar, and the Roots are exceptions.
5. Never heard of the movie Soulplane
I would hat this person with an unbridled passion. For reals.
hat=hate
Damn typos. This bougie ass blog needs an edit feature or preview button or something. HMPH.
What’s that? I need to pay attention to what I’m typing? That’s some real bougie sht to say. You disappoint me.
LOL @ bougie azz blog.
I hate them club soda drinkin’ ass ninjas too
Oh yes. And we can’t get a game of spades going either? Sht.
#NoCountryForYoungBuppies
Spades? That’s sooooo Boyz n the Hood. Lets play cribbage or gin
I need to get out more cause I don’t know nothing bout no cribbage or gin. How bout some 5 card stud then?
You don’t know. Then you sir/ma’am are not bougie. I will continue to drink my perrier, listen to De La Soul, eat my kale and goat cheese sandwich, while simultaenously making fun of you because you went to a state university. Want the number for my therapist? I think all bougie people have therapists lol
If they don’t they should. Bougie people problems tend to require professional help.
(puts some hot sauce on your sammich)
There. That’s better.
A bougie ninja wouldn’t dare add something so ghetto as hot sauce to anything! That would be uncivilized! Where’s the capers? Bougie ninjas can’t eat a sandwich without capers.
Oh these folks do not sound like any kind of fun.
Hellz nah.
a game of horseshoes? A GAME OF HORSESHOES!!!!!!
Where’s Baba?
I hate both of you so much.
you covered everything but here are a few of my favorites to add:
1)Being “political aware”/Obama cheerleader: post-obama election black ppl love discussing/debating politics, when most times its just discussion Obama. ppl love to defend and praise Obama in the name of “being politically aware” but ask same “political aware” ppl what congressional district they live in and who their representative is and they will look like a deer in headlights. basically all they know is: Obama can do no wrong, democrats are good and all republicans are evil.
2)Be anti-”chain restaurant”: Women are usually biggest offenders of this, ask 5 different 25-33 “bougie” blk women “how would you feel if dude took you to olive garden or red lobster for 1st date?” and watch their reactions and laundry list of reasons why its not acceptable smh lmao. ninjas act like they did grow up on olive gardens salad/breadsticks and red lobsters cheddar biscuit(yea i know its no “s” at the end lol).
3)have a blog: everyone is a blogger and life is so interesting you have to blog about it, despite fact only thing they do is 9-5 and come home after work everyday -_- “YOU THINK YOU BALLIN BECAUSE YOU GOT A BLOG!?”
Ok I have 2 good reasons why Olive Garden and Red Lobster ain’t shyt.
1) Look I live in Chicago, as much Italian food I’ve consumed..I should be Italian or at least Sicilian…I loves me some Eye-Talian cuisine. I went to Olive garden One Time, and damn near got food poisoning off their stuffed mushrooms. You mean you can’t even get stuffed mushrooms right?! Why overpay for sub par Italian food, when I have 3-4 decently priced Italian joints down the street?
2) Red Lobster ain’t shyt. Everybody knows the best thing about Red Lobster was the Cheddar Bay Biscuits. Ni@@as love them some Cheddar Bay Biscuits, but about 5-6 years ago they started to only give you like 4 or 5..then the biscuits got SMALLER. Eff you for that Red Lobster, I don’t come here for the Seafood!
You need to fix your cheddar biscuit game. You’re supposed to finish like all but 1 or 2 just before you get your meal and then when you’re half way done finish the last ones so you can get a fresh batch. By time you get the new biscuits you’ll be done eating what you ordered and have an entire new fresh batch to take home. Panda Swag
You know what..I can’t even sit here and act like your method ain’t effective. Wish I would’ve thought of that, however I came for the biscuits, not those melancholy lobsters they keep in that rusty tank. And the quality of the biscuits has gone down so terribly, and I resent their new booty stinginess , I recently purchased the “Restaurant Secret Recipes” cookbook and I am bout a few batches short of nailing it. Clone Swag.
I’m sorry… did you just say melancholy lobsters? Please tell my mama, and my boys that I loved them dearly.
*Heads toward the light emanating from the Upper Room*
Please relay the adjustments you made to the recipe.
I use about a 1/2 cup less flour than the recipe called for,..and more cheese.
Thanks!
I live in Philly….we have a million Italian BYOBs with amazing food….I would dismiss someone for taking me to Olive Garden….I don’t even know where one is….prob in the suburbs somewhere…now Maggiano’s?!?! Diff story…
Yaadgyrl you in philly??
im coming to visit! LOL.
Girl I’m here till Sept 10th and then back in early Jan… you are more than welcome… just give me a couple hours notice so I can tidy up a smidgen…
Ya’ll do know that Biquick has a cheese garlic biscuit mix right? It does indeed go just as hard as the RL version. Just add water, and 15 mins later, voila!
You’re welcome.
+1
real talk I went to red lobster last night. the biscuits are smaller, but they do bring em to you at least 2 times. 3 if you are greedy and ask nicely lol
2) I don’t hate chains. Chili’s is a-ok w/ me, especially if they have the all day happy hour (2for1 strawberry mango margaritas FTW!!!) But I hate Red Lobster. I went to school in FL, so there were waaaaayyy better seafood restaurants for the same price point or cheaper, so suggesting that place was an insult to me.
3)have a blog: everyone is a blogger and life is so interesting you have to blog about it, despite fact only thing they do is 9-5 and come home after work everyday -_- “YOU THINK YOU BALLIN BECAUSE YOU GOT A BLOG!?”
dude i’m so there with you. blog ninjas are so wacksauce.
wait…dammit.
Bougie ninjas love to flaunt their vocabulary. Bougie ninjas love to throw out terms that demonstrate a solid educational background and use words that are not a part of the common American lexicon.
Lol, you said lexicon.
Sidenote: Are there really 120+ comments on this post and its only been up for half an hour?? VSB HAS to hold some type of record for blog commentary…and not even just black blogs or relationship blogs. I mean like blogs period. Even celebrity blogs don’t get this type of response. Kudos to Panama, Champ and Liz
I think we needed something a little light and airy after the past couple of posts. At least I did.
I missed Monday, but I will say yesterday’s (which was really earlier today for me since I’m west coast) post came with some seriousness that I was not ready for. LOL
Yeah after monday’s topic, I knew that was gonna happen and i deliberately missed that comment section. We dont need VSBs and VSSs e-hating
It was an all out brawl, but I got brawler in me honest.
All my African ancestors were thugs. I’m a frustrated litigator with nobody to cross examine. But yeah, that was ugly. #allbetternow
u think this is alot? a few months ago, there are about 200-300 up within the first hour on a few posts. They are some of the top 5 in that top 10 list over to the right of the screen.
As the Regional Vice President of Bougie Negresses, Inc., LLC, here are some mandatory traits:
* Watching Real Housewives of ATL, while simultaneously talking about how the show is trash and how the cast will never be part of the negroid élite
* Puts the accent over the ‘e’ in élite
* Has an executive job at TVOne, frowns upon BET
* Only watches intellectual independent films (plugs “I Will Follow”)
* Does not have high blood pressure
* Has an HBCU bachelors and an Ivy League grad degree
* Only listens to 90s R&B, Esperanza Spaulding, Afropop and Mozart (Beethoven’s too pedestrian)
“Have an HBCU Bachelors and an Ivy League grad degree.”
LMAO!! This shouldve actually been number 1 on the list.
“* Has an HBCU bachelors and an Ivy League grad degree”
Na you forgot it can’t be just ANY HBCU, remember the only ones HBCU’s that matter and are acceptable are: Howard, Hampton, Spelhouse, NCA&T and FAMU, “anything else is uncivilized”
*straps on bullet proof vest and runs for cover*
Only listens to 90s R&B, Esperanza Spaulding
*In my Craig Voice*
“I told you..I told you” Bougie ni@@as love them some Esperanza Snoozing
…and Corrine Bailey Rae
Now don’t you come for Corrine. I loves her.
Yes! Love me a singin, black, Englander! And that girl can SANG!
You forgot Laura Izibor..however, I actually liked Corrine Bailey Rae’s first album, it was so bubbly, and bright, it made me happy. But if I am to choose my favorite of British imports it’d have to be Shingai from “Noisettes”.y’all bougie folk ain’t up on that doe.. a bit too alternative.
the napptural bougies are
and yes, i did just pretend napptural is a word
Shingai Shoniwa hair is glorious (Sa-Ra voices)
I like her too but sometimes she makes me feel like ending it aI love Laura Izibor!
i think that shouting out “too alternative” and then claiming that bougie ninjas ain’t up on something makes you bougie.
Ha! Nope! that just makes me a pretentious music snob…that title I can own.
NO that just makes me a pretentious music snob…which I can admit to being from time to time
This is the truth right here. Please don’t do the reverse (Ivy UG; HBCU grad)–everyone will know you failed at life.
Haha. Harsh, but very true.
The real upper crust bougie ninjas… the ones that went to places like Choate and Andover for high school don’t know what HBCU stands for and looks down their noses at people who attended them once they find out what it means. They may ask you if it’s like public school (aka free) for black people or some sort of Democratic attempt at reparations. They look down their nose at anyone who didn’t pay to attend high school and never went to an ivy league for undergrad or grad (I had one ask me WHY I went to UCONN?!?! Ummm, it was free?). They pity the fools who haven’t spent at least one semester living and studying in a non-English speaking country (immigrants don’t count). Their louis bags and designer luggage are vintage that were handed down from granny bougie…
wait. Howard is the only acceptable HBCU.. who are the others? I laugh at them.
“*Does not have high blood pressure”
LMMFAO!! NO you did NOT say that!!!!! *on the floor*
+1
@IAYP
a) do you have an international chapter of Bougie Negresses, Inc., LLC <- us bougie folks like having power, and titles.
b) if i know what the accent is (pronounced aigu en francais)…does that make me bougie or Canadian?
Yo be a snob you must do some of the following
1) You must attend the arts at least once a month, Blue Moutain productions do not count.
2) You must understand the plight of Africa is about China, not slavery/religon or tribal issues.
3) You should have changed your political views from Labour or Libreal Democrate to Green or Independant three years ago.
4) You are engaged or married and childfree for a few years (snobs SINgle with children/s NEVER).
5) You have speed dial to a Solicitor, stock brocker, off shore banker and good Dentist.
6) You must cook and know your spirits or dinner wines.
7) You read the broad sheets daily, or at least subscribe to a Sunday paper that is city based.
8a) You must have a signature ring, that shouts gentlemen’s club/society/illumati connections/etc
8b) You must be part of the WI or ladies society
9) You attend the sports events of the year ( Ascot not Premership football final)
10) You will attend a religious base weekly, the classics never die.
I’m out of ideas now
this was good. welcome and sh*t.
Am I bougie cause I’m offended that you said “snob” and not the agreed upon, widely accepted, PC term “bougie”??
Yes you are, because real snobs are not PC. I’m for the UK, we created snobbery and Bougie is just not cutting enough.
The only time being a single parent is ok to a bougie ninja is if they have a dog… And they call their dog by their first and last name.
AND they have serious conversations with their significant other about adopting said dog once they are married so they can all have the same last name.
I really hate how you all just talk about me like I’m not here & I can’t read…
LOL …another calling card of the bougie: passive aggressiveness.
LOL. i see you !!!!!! i see you!!!
Exercise means Tai Chi,Pilates, trialthons,badminton/squash or a daily trainer, what the hell is P90x or Zumba!!!
Yoga.
I’ve been gone for a couple weeks what with quitting my job, getting ready for Grad school, French lessons and the upcoming semester in Paris… This is the perfect post for my bougie arse return…
This shouldn’t be here….meant to post this up thread… While we’re on the topic of exercise….not just pilates but reformer pilates…regular pilates is just…regular….and not just yoga but the associated correct term for the type of yoga….ie Vinyasa or Bikram
Bikram or hot Yoga is great, and yes I love it. But alas my pockets are scrapping the floor so I’m subjected to “Insanity” dvd’s (I am so not getting that 90 days body, he’s sexy but I hate him with a passion).
Girl I buy my classes 5 – 10 @ a time for $25 or $50 bucks when they come up on Rue La La or Groupon…
Nah, bougie negros can get in on some Zumba because it show our appreciation for other cultures
I sadly have nothing to add to this list…I have no idea what bougie people do. I’m allergic to alot of things and bougie is on that list. Ok well let me clean that up…all of the negative connotations associated with bougie individuals are what I’m allergic to.
I don’t judge people (when you come from nothing or are used to struggle its hard to look down on anybody else), I don’t eat specialty foods (I can’t mess with sushi cause I like my fish cooked. that and I’m allergic to shellfish), or shop at specialty stores (I’m in Crown Heights there aren’t any Whole Foods out here), I don’t hate BET because it provides a vast amount of comedy at least three times a year. I shop where the clothes fit me nicely, I perm my hair, I listen to all types of music, I buy sandwiches from the bodega and get my chicken from Kennedy Fried Chicken or the nearest chicken spot, and I’ve been known to drink Old English or a Coors Light every now and again (sometimes I just dont feel like walking all the way down to the liquor sto’).
Now upon reflecting on my list of things that I do…I might as well admit that I’m so hood #DJKhaled but it is what it is..I know this post is gonna have hella funny commentary today but I won’t even be able to participate. See I’m doing hood ish like taking the day off to go to the Bronx Zoo on the free day..so ya’ll enjoy
I phucks wit you on this my nig!
…but bougie people love the zoo!
LOL I know ya’ll do…its the all encompassing act of taking a day off (I had to really decide not to call out) and I’m going on the free day. Bougie people would pay to go to the zoo, but not I.
I HATE free day at the Bronx Zoo in the summer!!! Every single hood camp is there on a field trip. Why? Cuz it’s fcukin free. Now Wednesday’s at the Bronx Zoo in September are GLORIOUS because all the kids are back in school and it’s too early in the game for anyone to be cutting. #NewLeafSteez
I hate the zoo…the animals never look happy… True bougie ninjas have been on safari….overnight….in Africa.
I wanna take a hood holiday with you.
LOL don’t be fooled the boughie ninja enjoys those things to…he/she just won’t own up to it. I mean will adamantly argue to the ground if you mention you saw him/her in the papi store getting oodles of noodles and some succatash to combine later for dinner. See the boughie ninja is really a hood ninja in disguise with an accent. In my honest opinion. I could be wrong tho!
You’re SO right. They’re just afraid that the second they’re exposed, they’ll lose all their money and be forced to move to the projects. Bull-ish. If they were alright, they’d be in the PJ doing the exact same thing. Since you know they won’t, what does that say?
I miss the bodega. Le sigh…
@Phidelity15
We are here ><.
I'd like to proclaim my membership to team "I'm so hood". I stay in the hood and I'm from the hood. Unlike Pegroes I prefer to keep the company of unpretentious real ninjas and the hood/working class neighborhoods has more of them than Bougie ninjas.
@phidelity
LOL I dont perm my hair but I am pretty much a hood chick.
i know all about bougie though cause my sister is the embodiment of the bougie chick. Love her to Death but if you look up Bougie Im pretty sure that chick is there in all white, wearing some 6 inch stilettos standing slightly cocked to the right with her head tilted holding a overpriced hobo bag with a slight smile and a glass of white wine.
if you look up Bougie Im pretty sure that chick is there in all white, wearing some 6 inch stilettos standing slightly cocked to the right with her head tilted holding a overpriced hobo bag with a slight smile and a glass of white wine.
X_X
im allergic to seafood in general! i wish I could be down with the bourgeoisie that eat sushi, lobster, salmon, and shrimp cocktails
This is me, but I often get mistaken for being bougie because I’m quiet and….lite skint. But I love my local hoodrat sports bar! I just don’t fit in.
Bougie people own laptops, but don’t pay for wi-fi. Why?? Cause bougie people hang out at Starbucks and order drinks like carmel macchiato with soy milk and extra foam. Cause bougie people somehow know what difference the foam makes to a caffinated beverage.
Bougie people take their glasses off indoors and place them neatly in their case instead of pushing them up on their head, because bougie people pay $200 for sunglasses and spend $80 on their hair (even men) and can’t afford to mess either up.
Bougie people have a gym membership. They run (not walk) on the treadmill and take spinning classes.
Bougie people always wear a watch, so that their never late. But their never on time cause they need to appear busy.
Bougie people support gay marriage (cause their male friends are gay).
Bougie people drink cocktails at the bar and order screwdrivers instead of gin and juice.
Bougie people don’t read Us Weekly, they read Entertainment.
Bougie people recycle, they actually know what a carbon footprint is and their always “trying” to go green.
Bougie people listen to Coltrane while they drink and enjoy games like Scrabble.
Bougie people’s cars come in 4 shade variations. Black, Red, Champagne and Pearl (never white, it gets too dirty too fast).
Bougie people recycle, they actually know what a carbon footprint is and their always “trying” to go green.
You know we roll Hybrid Escalades and Tahoes. Got re-usable grocery bags in our Hummers because we care about the ozone
Bougie people have a gym membership. They run (not walk) on the treadmill and take spinning classes.
Bougie people support gay marriage (cause their male friends are gay).
Bougie people drink cocktails at the bar and order screwdrivers instead of gin and juice.
Bougie people don’t read Us Weekly, they read Entertainment.
Bougie people recycle, they actually know what a carbon footprint is and their always “trying” to go green.
Umm, I do all of these things but I’m really not bougie!! LOL, & how is a gym membership bougie – 4 real? Come on now!
I’m in NY, so not all gym memberships are the same. There’s Planet Fitness downtown Brooklyn vs. Equinox, NYSC or Crunch. Bougie folks need towel service and Planet fitness doesn’t have any. The bougie folks that are really making that paper though go to Reebok.
You. Are bougie. Lol
The gym membership itself isn’t bougie, it’s what you do at the gym (maybe I shoula said “jog”). Unless you’re training for a marathon, people don’t “jog” on the treadmill!
Bougie people do this to look more fit than they really are
LMAO!!! Okay, I got’cha
hilarious!
*clutches pearls* AM I *gasp* BOUGIE?!?!?!?!
@Liz
I you gotta ask…….
Sorry shawty. She is who we thought she was!!!!
You’re an AKA
Uh, brunch?
If you pearls are real…mos def bougie!
I was about to say! If you got pearls to clutch, you’z bougie!
Here’s your bouge badge. Hold still.
*Reaches over and pins it on*
Now you’re all set!
I don’t do brunch, I eat at Waffle House. Whenever, where ever, however, whoever.
I never drank a mimosa in my life and don’t plan to.
I hate coffee and ergo coffeehouses.
If you see me dressed like I just hopped fresh off some ninja’s peen, feel free to beat my
azz on the spot.
I hate bullish music and as a person who can’t draw a stick man right, art just ain’t my thing. Most of this modern stuff looks like somebody ate too much Mexican and didn’t make it to the toilet in time.
Fcuk BET that sh!t wack
I’m an undercover fat man so break bread on good eats but I refuse to eat crazy ish just to flodge like I’m cultured
The only hair I care about is DONE hair. However you gotta make that happen, MAKE THAT HAPPEN.
I listen to a bunch of music so just cause I’m bumpin Gorilla Pimp today doesn’t mean I wasn’t just bumpin Longview or The War of 1812 Overture.
I’ve never been in a Whole Foods in my life, vegans are puzzies and I don’t recycle.
I don’t drink wine. Drinking is not for taste. It is for the purpose of getting fcuked up. I ain’t got time to be sitting around drinking three bottles of wine and feeling all bloated.
I drink hard liquor straight (as in out the bottle) or I drink some good home made ish. Now
I do enjoy some tasty malt beverages from time to time……
“I don’t drink wine. Drinking is not for taste. It is for the purpose of getting fcuked up. I ain’t got time to be sitting around drinking three bottles of wine and feeling all bloated.”
Outta your list, this kilt me the hardest. Youse a fool.
Did you mean to evoke the image of you Muggin when you wrote this? Cuz that’s exactly what I imagined, you Muggin.
I probably was. The last time somebody offered me some wine I told them to “Get that bullish out my face!!” and popped the cork on some Paul Masson.
+1
Mimosas are waaaanduhful – but you’re a dude so I don’t expect you to appreciate that!
The only hair I care about is DONE hair. However you gotta make that happen, MAKE THAT HAPPEN<<<<<.—————————- THIS
is funny as HELL to me.. lol
I listen to a bunch of music so just cause I’m bumpin Gorilla Pimp today doesn’t mean I wasn’t just bumpin Longview or The War of 1812 Overture.
uhhhh.. is it a person named "gorilla pimp" or are your referring to the hood classc by Project PImp?
"imma call yo momma up, B!tch thats a no no!" LOL i LOOOVE that song
That’s actually my ringtone on a girls phone!!
Feeding you Taco Bell while pimp eat steak, cornbread, collard greens, chiterlings on my plate!!
@corey. that has endeared me to you foreva!!!
she hate my f!cking guts but she lovin my pimpin!!! LOL
You don’t recycle and you’ve never been to Whole Foods?!?!? Someone call Carlton Banks to mentor this lost soul!
lmfao
As a VSS who is caught between hood and bouge, you make my heart sing. You are a cave man, just like my husband. Hood-bouge is only compatible with caveman steez. Hood-bouge is not bougie enough for bougie men. They go entirely too hard.
I agree daaaaas chexy!
” Hood-bougie is only compatible with caveman steez. Hood-bougie is not bougie for bougie men”
Yes yes yes, you hit it on the head. Tell Steve and Hill a new person is in town, Essence has a new coverperson for next 4 rotation years. We found the new Oprah.
hood-bouge.
me likely!
“I don’t do brunch, I eat at Waffle House. Whenever, where ever, however, whoever”
Pecan waffles!!!!!
YES LAWD!!!
how old are you? if you’re under under 32 i bet you will soften up in a few years. if you’re over 32…you too old not to brag about not recycling! & vegans are hard core (i’m not a vegan…too hard core for me)
either way, i salute you!
28 and I ain’t going nowhere! It might just be a deep south thing but I don’t really know too many folks on the going green kick. We drive big azz trucks, gas guzzling Lacs, eat red meat and REGULAR salt. I think they have a day for putting your recyling out but who knows when that is. Hell up here in CT they actually FINE you if you don’t have enough stuff to recylce!!
i’m telling you…if/when you go back south…you gon be on that sea salt & bottle recycling like mug…gettin a honda cuz u tired of the gas guzzlers & caddies that only take premium gas.
No self respecting southern gentleman/gangsta would be caught dead driving a hybrid car that woooshes. Besides, you can’t put anything on a Prius. The damn thing can barely get up a hill with my bodyweight in it muchless with some thangs on it. I been tired of paying these high azz gas prices but I don’t do Honda. Honda and Toyota got yall fooled. They USED to be super reliable vehicles but they got comfy (like the american car makers did in the 90′s) and started mass producing junk. Hondas are the most overrated cars on the road. Somehow american carmakers are getting it right (finally) but they have to live down the sh!t rep the already earned.
Time out…I have a Civic, and it’s 10 years old…i’ve NEVER had a problem!…i Love my baby!…lol
you gotta recycle Corey!!!!! its OUR world!!!!!
? ? ?
Eh….I figure all these extra azz folk out here got me. It’s really not all that easy and accessible when you from a red state that considers holsters and safeties “gun control”.
Yup
Wait, that “yup” was agreeing w/ Yoles!! lol
Damn I think I just fell in some type of love LOL juuuust playing. But for real though the only thing we kinda differ on is the wine/mimosas and coffee. I’ve drank or tried pretty much all types of alcohol because my pops owned a liquor store and he’s also into coffee, so I’m partial to a cup or two every now and again.
Other than that, I think we can hang something tight and not fight or argue for a good lil minute.
Now can you please pass the Paul Masson…. thxs!!
You want ice with that or you want it warm?
#Wepopbottles#
A proper bourgie natural hair sista only buys hair care products from Whole Foods, Tarjay or the Internet. She frowns upon beauty supply stores
Bourgie ninjas read BOOKS. Eff a Kindle. Everyone needs to see your book is 500+ pages long and 10 pt font.
Over a game of spades, ninjas get into a heated argument over whether it’s W.E.B. “doo-BWAH” or W.E.B. “DOO-boyz”
See…I love Sally. But I buy natural products, or natural type products, like tea tree oil shampoo and shea butter/olive oil conditioner.
But this whole post has got me confused…I don’t know where I fit in. It’s like high school all over again
F a Beauty supply
They read books but they still have an ipad just to SHOW they read books by choice
Cosign the distaste for beauty supply stores…the dont carry kinky curly, Shea moisture or tea and honey blends…what’s the point?
…and let’s not forget being followed aorund the store like a criminal.
That never gets old…lol
right! They got the expensive weave in glass cases behind the counter
I practice 1 – 6. Especially 6, but not in the way you describe. I’m all about buying quality food from the grocery store. I will splurge on wild salmon before I EVER consider procuring a designer bag. Whole Foods is like Bloomingdales to me – only on special occasions.
If I may add a few usual indicators of the bourgeois set…
7. Attended a HBCU for undergrad, and an ivy league for grad. This was the most appropriate path in my community. In my parents generation, you were ‘sposed to have fun and find your spouse at the HBCU and then grind at the ivy.
8. Be a member of an organization. Any organization where membership is semi hard to achieve is fine. Whether it’s greek, mason, social, secret, or illuminati, the point is to be elite.
9. Don’t eat pork. Or have some other dietary restriction that demonstrates your palette is is more sensitive, refined, or better educated on the dangers of what it is you’re fasting from.
10. Use all natural (and often very expensive) health and beauty products. Nothing but the sumptuous butter of shea nuts that have been sung to by Zamundan maidens, ground with a platinum mortar, and mixed with lion tears.
11. Volunteer or mentor. Every true card carrying member of the bourgeois performs charity at least once a year. They have to pat themselves on the back for rembering their less fortunate brethren.
12. Meet with other bourgeois at least once a month at brunch/card night/wings/book club/wine night to commune about current events, philosophy, Black male-female dynamic, and theorize on why “hood ninjas” do what they do.
A lot of this was tongue and cheek. I have a big, warm place in my heart for bougie negroes
No pork=no bueno!!
EVERYTHING is better with bacon!!
You would love this place out here called Slater’s 50/50. Their signature burger is 50% beef and 50% bacon. I don’t do swine but I must admit it sounds good.
Oh my!!! I just got some kinda feeling!
lol San Fransisco just opened a bacon truck with entrees like a “bacon bouqet” and one of my friends is officially on a first name basis with the owners…
Lucky bastid….I ought to punt a chipmunk.
will be saving up to go SF.
Everything is better with bacon!!!
I feel like most Black ppl don’t eat pork. I just found out that my dad doesn’t eat pork my reaction was this O_o
I try not to eat pork often.
However bacon, and my grandmother’s fried pork chops won’t let me go!!! LOL
9. Don’t eat pork. Or have some other dietary restriction that demonstrates your palette is is more sensitive, refined, or better educated on the dangers of what it is you’re fasting from.
There’s just something about grilled pork chops, rice, and a giant pile of mac & cheese.
that’s a good one i aint read…
bougie ninjas LOVE them a damn book club.
“Nothing but the sumptuous butter of shea nuts that have been sung to by Zamundan maidens, ground with a platinum mortar, and mixed with lion tears.”
WHY MUST I CRY?!?!?!? bwajjsksk!!!
This is the most true to life comment thus far for me.
From the looks of the blog post and comments, I think I might be on some uber-bougie plane or something, because I do some of these things without trying, and I’ve always been kind of an outsider in terms of social clubs and what not (never got into the Greek thing). It seems to me that bougie folks deliberately position themselves to give some kind of impression. The things that I do that pop up in the bougie category are things I genuinely enjoy.
I consider most of what I do as normal. Maybe I’m so bougie I can’t help myself…bougie-normative, perhaps?
+1
born bougie
I am oh so bougie! I’m boarding a plane now to the gambia for a week…(Cheeky grin).
yep. textbook.
Read online publications such as the Huffington Post, or listen to NPR.
Mannnn, HuffPost is my shttt!
first
time posting
Last
time posting first
Enjoy
LMAO!!
I don’t know why I like you so damn much…smh
You don’t have to know why, just know that you do. #ChickLogic
Bwahahaha!!
Bougie negroes love to inform you of which common terms have roots in racism.
- “don’t say you’re going on a picnic, that’s racist, picnics are for lynchings”
No Negro, they’re not, that was a rumor that went around aol mail chains for a while, but any research will tell you the term dates back to the 17th century, way before lynchings in the US
-”jungle has racist connotations, it’s really called a tropical rainforest”
No negro, it’s a jungle and that’s what I’m gonna call it
LMAO!!!
Oh my lord you just outed me…
LOLLLLL
LOL!!!!
Bougie people move away from trends as soon as they appear in a popular rap song. We all know a bunch of bougie people were happily sipping moscato at the club and at lunges/restaurants because it’s usually pretty cheap and you can keep a full glass at a networking event w/o getting drunk off your azz. Soon as Drake put it in a song, and hood clubs starting offering it, bougienistas were off that. Same thing w/ Cristal, Patron, etc.
Bougie people plan overly expensive weddings and receptions, foregoing the jumping the broom tradition, but making sure the annoucement is sent to Jet magazine for the wedding section.
Bougie people use sunblock.
Bougie people have just enough artistic, antique, or vintage stuff in their house to distract from the mass produced IKEA, Ashley, and walmart/target furniture in their homes.
Bougie people don’t live in apartments, they buy/rent condos or townhomes.
Eyyy, don’t throw shade at sunblock! I’m tryna preserve my sexy. If it’s good enough for Sanaa Lathan, it’s good enough for me.
*note, not because of her perceived bougieness, but because of her flawless skin…
Hey my derm (black woman) said sunblock is a must
…”my derm…”
Classic Bougie
LOL, I’m am fully bougie, and wear sunblock all the time. My not so bougie family talked about me for days.
I use sunblock, too. Shoot.
Sunblock is a given, even in the winter months. And yes i will rock my shades in winter also, that winter sun is crazy.
I do the same. Especially when there’s fresh snow on the ground? Blinding! lol
1. Not eat pork or meat at all. Swine is foul.
2. F**k up all dope holiday gatherings with some unwanted political statement. Yes, we were slaves when the Fourth of July jumped off but I need you to turn those damn ribs.
3. Make snarky political commentary online but your actually as country as a burning cane field.
4. Use phrases like “Oh, you’re just finding out about ”
5. Use the Obama marriage (people you don’t know) as a barometer for your personal life.
6. Use the word “barometer” at six-something a.m. While not giving the weather report.
7. Believe in b.s. conspiracies that are only backed up glittering generalities and revised history.
loving your list!
@Wu Young
“Use the Obama marriage (people you don’t know) as a barometer for your personal life”
Its funny how the Obama’s are the barometer for a lot of chics. They love the image and not the substance behind it.
And the thing is, a lot of these people are missing the point of the Obama marriage. Barack was a broke lawyer just starting out when he and Michelle started dating. She was already on top her game and could’ve told him to get his broke a** away from her. But he had potential. She saw it in him. She gave him a chance. She pushed him. He was driven and he grew. The rest is history.
A lot of these chicks want a man that’s already there instead of giving a chance to the man who’s up and coming. That’s their f*cking problem. But that’s another thread.
PLEASE YELL THIS FOR THE CHEAP SEATS!!!!! Did Michelle “settle”? I think not. This is why I offer these \_\_ to chicks who $hit on dudes on the come-up.
But er um, Barack was a “broke” lawyer with a Harvard law degree. So, basically speaking, he was on her level, just behind her a few years career-wise. The true testament of her holding him down was when he became a community organizer and she was thrust into the stereotypical BW role of being the breadwinner, even with a husband at home.
But really, what is wrong with using the Obama marriage as a barometer? You have two people with similar education levels; who love each other and aren’t afraid to show it; who compliment each other; who are a team; who mutually discussed, bought into, and decided on a common vision for their family; and who love their children. If that’s wrong to aspire to, then goodness help us all.
There is NOTHING wrong with using it as the barometer. I think black folks should. Thing is, a lot of sistas screaming about finding their Barack don’t realize that he was a broke dude (albeit an Ivy league broke dude) on the come up, and a lot of brothas looking for their Michelle don’t realize that she was the bread winner, holding the family down for a minute. They are often looking at the end result without understanding the underlying grind. Power couples like that build together. They do not come ready made. Folks just need to understand that the outcome they see is actually the result of work they claim to be unwilling to sign on for.
Thank you!!!
No that’s and awesome way to be but my hang up was on the “(people you don’t know)” portion of my comment. I take folk’s relationships with a grain of salt because I don’t know they behind closed doors dynamic.
As soon as the election was over the Root, Griot, and Earthy N***er Press was full of stories with titles like “Can you find your Barack.” The Obama’s are great but hold up on the fairytaleness of it all. A lot political marriages are just that political. From the way Barack looks at her it’s sure as sh*t real though.
No pork or meat? They probably suck in bed.
I don’t mind anyone’s dining choices but when the convo ends with some coded phrase that means “I’m better than you.” then I’m lost.
They probably have to suck something somewhere to get enough protein.
I think they’re better
You would o__O
I know some VegHeads with the long stroke
This whole list is golden, Wu.
Especially #4…lol
This post, as well as comment thread, described nearly every Famuan I know. I’m guilty right along with them! *tosses natural bouncy wrap*
yep. FAMU? bougie.
My other boughie ninja items after getting a little sleep:
The chicks rebuke perm and the dudes have cultivated locs but are not rastafari
Their children have 1-2 syllable names – none of that Shondrinettakisha for the buppie
They own album cover art from the 70-early 90′s to promote their music taste
They adamantly deny eating pork unless it’s a bbq and they will be eating ribs
They have board game parties that do not include Spades
They are passive aggressive
They run marathons for charities and post the finish line pics on FB
They have “tasteful” tattoos that are uber “creative”
They flaunt their vocabulary and constantly remind folk that conversate is not a word ( I mean it’s not but carry on)
They talk shyt about ratchet programing but know all the details of every episode
My son’s first name is a two syllable Swahili name. His middle name is two syllable Arabic name. Together the two names carry the dopest empowering meaning. That ain’t eem bougie.
Bourgie people do not have tattoos and aren’t reminding anybody that conversate isn’t a word because their friends would never use the word “conversate.”
My first tattoo was a tribal rose (upper back)…tasteful. My second was a sankofa (inner wrist…no Janet. I didn’t even know she had the exact same tat in the exact same spot until after I got mine). I researched exactly what I wanted my tattoo to symbolize before I got it. I’ll be adding some deep quote to it soon…that’s creative (I guess).
But you put somethin on your body that’s gonna be there for the rest of your life, you should make sure it’s tasteful and meaningful.
My next tat I’ve been workin on for 2 years…I want it to be deeply symbolic of a few things, cause it might be my last, and I need it to be perfect before I etch it in my skin
Bougie people have tattoos that are easily concealed. And none on the boob
Mine is close enough to the boob, just enough to get my gran’s WI hanky out ,waving the demons away. If I wasn’t so snobbish I would love a whole sleeve.
We have the same tat in the same spot. Small world
Ugh the more I read the comments, the more I discover how bougie I am! I came out the womb this way though. Haven’t read all the comments, but I’d say owning vintage (Urban Outfitters does not count) furniture, art, etc. makes you bougie. And please know who Jean-Michel Basquiat is and drop his name during brunch…lol…I’m making myself sick smh
And pronounce Basquiat properly.
Do bothie ninjas laugh out loud on the NYC subway because that’s what this post has me doing
I despise I-phone autocorrect
LMAO @ your phone auto-correcting “bougie” to “bothie.” Dear iphone, WTH is bothie? Must be a non-bougie word. *flips hair*
yes.
why is this post about my life! I admit it, college made me bougie as hell. But don’t let the saddity fool you I can revert if need be. See what just happened?
“A group of bougie ninjas will hit up TGIFridays in a minute.”
This is sooo true! My best male friend and his boys stay in Fridays or Cheesecake factory! Expand your palate my n*gga! Expand!
Not sure if anyone mentioned this, but bougie chicks LOVE them some brunch. It’s all about brunch every weekend w/ unlimited mimosas, bellinis, and screw drivers. Funny thing is the unlimited drinks will bring out the Tadiqua from the Bronx who always throws up her “x’s” in all of us. But at least we look bougie w/ our champagne glasses.
I personally hate the Cheesecake Factory if it’s not about dessert. Every time I go with friends, they order dinner, I order cheesecake. LOL
I’m only bougie around some of my old HS chums. Otherwise, I’m just an educated chica who enjoys good food, good drank, and good people. One thing that bothers me about the bougie set is this whole brunch thing. I’ve been brunching since 1988, and these fools act like they invented. Half of them didn’t even know what a mimosa was until they started going to brunch last year. I call shenanigans on the whole lot.
I’m a fabulous bougie ninja because I do that sophisticated ignorance ish like Yeezy. In fact, I actually call it classy ignance. Or intelligent ignance. Either way. I not only can switch to each one, I COMBINE them.
Also, I’m traveling ALL’AWAY up to Toronto (o_O) tomorrow for Cheeknik aka Caribana. Cultured dinna mug. \(^_^)/
+1 for the Yeezy reference
Cheeknik FTW!!!!
You will be badassinghettochic by the end of Sunday. No one goes Carnival and keeps their bougie card, too much rum and dumb in the place (Enjoy and get some pics for your old age)
I plan to act even MORE of a fool than I am now. Buh-lee dat.
what happens at carnival-bana….
does not get captured for facebook.
well..
in its entirety…
HAHAHAAHA! This post made me laugh so! Mmmm….
- Drop what they do/where they work in the conversation someway, somehow… I swear I was talmbout the benefits of Crest toothpaste, how you working on the HIll fit in the convo?
- Then promptly ask you what you do to figure out who you know and who you don’t
- Always have a business card at the ready to hand over w/ a wink and gun
- Find the “hottest”, club, church, lounge, bookstore/coffeeshop/restaurant and flock there en masse.
- Say en masse. Heh.
you know, bougie ninjas do treat church like the club. i cant tell you how many times i got folks telling me about churchs in DC but describing them as the place to be and trying to convine me that i just need to be at this church cuz thats where everybody else goes.
No, the most pretentious church on PLANET EARF has to be 1st AME Church in LA..in fact the most pretentious anything has to be in LA.you wanna see the creme de la creme of Bougie, go to the Starbucks in Ladera Heights…I dare you to go in there with casual wear!! I’m surprised it doesn’t have a velvet rope yet.
Oh yesss! There is a certain church in the DMV that shall remain nameless, but when I go for Young Adult time I feel wayyyy under dressed. I’m sorry. Are we stopping by the house/office bathroom and changing outta work clothes ‘fore we go to house of Lord and get our praise on now too?!?! Have mercy!
Bougie Ninjas dont exchange numbers. they exchange business cards.
They spend 50.00 for pretentious all white/all/black/zebra print events and stand around talking about how wack it is.
Bougie Ninjas love to be seen on the scene.
Bougie Ninjas also drive luxury hybrid’s or “classic” re: old model luxury vehicles 99 lexus, 96 Benz..lol ninja you’d a done better with a 2008 Honda
Bougie Ninjas shop at boutique’s naw they dont do the malls…
and Bougie ninjas love to go out of town to do some shyt you can do in your own city.
Oh Im getting my broker’s license, day care certification, etc in New York/canada,
Oh, im buying my love seat from Ashley’s home furnishings in ATL…
Theres a swag that comes with handing a business card, and its the easiest way to avoid having to call first
@herbetteroption
im sure you think so lol it still a bougie ninja practice.
I do have bougie tendencies *checks blackberry i only use for business*
@shay-d-lady
Your whole list is on point. Especially the going out of town to ish they could do at home and spending money at pretentious parties. And anything they do, anywhere they go, is never good enough they always know of some place or something better.
wait…you mean im waisting (ha!) money on biz cards?
LIES!!!
*it’s too late to stop the presses…
Bourgie folks have gone from using the term “debauchery” (sp?) to “ratchet” to describe all things foolish.
Bougie folks wonder why people are not using the term ‘ratcheted’ instead of ‘ratchet’ and ‘scared’ instead of ‘scary’ ie:
“I took my date to a club in the hood. She refused to go because she’s scary and refuses to go to a ratchet club. “
Best practices of the bougie ninja
1. Are pro-Black and all “power to the people” yet scared to come to the hood or deal with Black folks not in academia or the corporate world
2. Bougie ninjas love things Black as long as its Cosby Show-esque.
3. They don’t set foot in cities like Cleveland, Camden, New Orleans, or Detroit
4. Bougie ninjas seem to be bohemian and eclectic but have a penchant for yuppies and gentrified neighborhoods
5. They get butt-hurt if you call them country or ghetto
6. Bougie ninjas love titles, positions, and status
7. Bougie women turn up their nose at men that prefer jeans and sneakers and admire the sophistication of men in cheap dress clothes.
8. They drive overpriced crappy European cars (you could have got a better japanese or domestic car)
@ Humble Bougie Ninjas love the cosby show but HATE Goodtimes..and 227
@shay-d-lady
Lmao!! Right. Its like Good Times and 227 never existed. They never give those shows the same adoration they give the Cosby Show.
Good Times taught me that “boy” is a white racist word. It also introduced me to the concept of culturally biased assessment. Good Times is for the children!
6. Bougie ninjas love titles, positions, and status
I’ve walked away from many conversations that were started with the terms:
“What do you do?”
“Where did you go to school?”
and if they’re not impressed they always talk about how they know someone who knows someone who went there
5. They get butt-hurt if you call them country or ghetto
This is the TRUTH!!!!
Don’t know if anyone said this but… bougie ninjas visit blogs called “Very Smart Brothas”… shit, bougie ninjas READ BLOGS. lol
i keep hearing people mention this Very Smart Brothas…blog, is it? what’s that? is it dope?
Yeah, I don’t think it’s ever gonna really take off, doe…
i heard dem VSB folks need WAY more people. like a whole nation full of dem….
You just wait.
Once this innanet thing catches on. Imma be on that blog getting my bougie on. But first, I need to hit up that after work cocktail bar next to the car wash.
Bougie ninjas READ.
oh and bougie ninjas dont like shyt thats popular. They gotta always be up on some “new new” or some underground. he dont get play cause people dont understand him when its really not new and that shyt just be wack as hell.
I was thinking the exact same thing. They’re some how ten years ahead (or behind) on music, food and all kinds of other shyt that no on cares about.
Bougie ninjas are foodies. Not only do they know the best brunch spots, but they know all the other places to eat in the city that most folks may not be hip to, but the food really is good! But shoot, I’m a foodie, too, so we’d get along just fine there. I LOVE trying new places in the area. Who’s with me?
50% of a bougie ninja’s music collection consists of old-school, and the other half consists of neo-soul and independent artists. Look through their iTunes past the 10 or so current n****r songs by Lil Wayne and Rick Ross, and watch you come across Adele, Goapele, Frank Ocean, The Weeknd…
Wait…those are all in my iTunes, too. Do I secretly want a bougie ninja? Nah…#TeamNerd
Bougie ninjas also know the correct wine pairings to go with ANY food
Bougie ninjas can taste hints of oak, fruit and other random ish in their wine
Bougie ninjas would never own stemless wine glasses….they know the wine glass is to be held by the stem because the warmth from your hands affect the temperature and the taste hence the would NEVER hold the glass by anywhere BUT the stem
Bougie ninjas would never pour white wine in a glass meant for red wine. Yes, there are glasses for the appropriate wines. A bougie ninja taught me.
My friends and I were just talking about that. You can’t even tell who’s gay anymore because the straight dudes are dressing way better than the gay dudes. I wouldn’t go as far as say skinny jeans and pink flaming clothes; but actually looking pretty decent and care more about his looks. Can we say, well groomed here?
Bougie ninjas know the owners of the clubs or at least pretend. They love to go out but don’t want to pay for shit anything. Want the hookup! Then run to VIP with their bar drink special…
Bougie ninjas joined Google + and didn’t even know what to do with it; just know they got an “exclusive” invite. And I also think bougie ninjas love Google. Their homepage is Google. They also ditched their Hotmail and Yahoo email address a long, long time ago.
Yeah I jumped ship – google+ all night and gmail all day on my iphone.
Google+ is like the facebook we used to love back when it was limited to only college students (at least for now). Let me keep my bougie Jamaican fingers crossed and pray that they don’t open google+ up to the entire world.
I would add to the list:
1) read VSB (no shots)
2)Watch CNN
We could all be on Mediatakeout right now lol
Watch CNN? They get their news from the newspaper.
You think, I didn’t know people still read print media
Actually I should have said…access CNN via their smartphones
I subscribe to The New Yorker and The New York Times.
I have an email subscription to the New York Times and the Atlanta Journal Constitution, although I have not lived in Atlanta in over 2 years.
I think that it also depends on your location. Some newspapers suck!
How about this: having 2520 friends are irritated that I’m not as ghetto as their other black friends… I don’t get it.
I would also like to add owning a French press to make coffee–and actually taking the time to grind the beans so that the flavor is just right.
/longtime reader, first post (^_^)
ooooh, french press coffee. i gladly gifted mine because I was over caffeinated and acting not-so-bougie due to my addiction.
We’re opposites, the caffeine high strengthens my bougie-ness!
and you can’t drink that in just any cup….cup gotta be Bodum and has to be double wall insulated.
1. Use ninja instead of the other option
2. Sleep on satin pillowcases
3. Do not wear long acrylic nails
4. Likes J Crew, Michelle Obama likes J Crew (reason enough)
5. Wear vintage clothes
6. Want a partner from a 2 parent household (apparently it makes a difference)
7. Attend mega churches
8. Use olive oil to cook, it’s healthier
9. Have never seen a food stamp (shout out to Jen from B-Ball wives)
10. Have a love/hate relationship with trashy reality t.v.
11. Look down on ppl who use writes things like “cuz” and “dis” on FB
12. Thinks profile pics of your booty is tacky
lmao i dont think you have to be bougie to think that profile pics of your booty are tacky