Sh*t Bougie Black People Love

Bougie Ninja Best Practices

Picture this with an ascot. Then you got a bougie ninja.

Let’s be real here, the vast majority of us tow the line between being the pretentious bougie ninja we hate the most and the person two steps out of the projects still concerned with credibility. It’s why men fight in three-piece suits and women complain like hell about Basketball Wives and Single Ladies while keeping them DVR’d. We’re always keeping it real or just being entertained. For a large part of us, success is erroneously how other people perceive us. It’s no secret we tend to be statusticians.

We’re a confused bunch for the most part. And if confused is too strong a word, then denial is the closest term. It’s like most of us reading black ninjas are constantly in a fight for that whole double consciousness Black thing that W.E. was rappin’ ’bout back in the late 1800′s and further in the Souls of Black Folks. Basically, Black people have had image problems for a very, very long time.

However, given that we are a bunch of bougie ninjas, or aspiring considering one’s current station in life, I figured that I’d run down the list of what actually constitutues the current practices of the bougie ninja…best practices if you will. See, bougie ninjas like saying sh*t like best practices because it implies you’ve read a book. Nobody in the hood says “best practices” unless they’re on a team somewhere and you know, “that was one of the best practices we done had, boss…”

Tupac back.

By the way, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a bougie ninja unless you actively look down on other people. Life’s a lot easier when you stop being so judgemental about everybody else’s f*cksh*t and do you. Then again, can one really be a bougie ninja without being judgemental? Confruscious my ni*gga. Confruscious.

Let’s take a stab at this, shall wel.

1. You must know where NOT to go.

Bougie ninjas congregate in all types of places. Grassy knolls. Bookstores. Coffee stores. Home Depot garden centers. Basically, you can go anywhere and be bougie and live your life. What’s important is to know where bougie ninjas don’t go. Like clubbing in Maryland. Not because you won’t see other bougie ninjas, but because non-bougie ninjas don’t really f*ck with bougie ninjas like that. And if you show up at Jasper’s with an ascot, my ni**a,  folks are going to talk about you. I think women tend to do better at this than men, women STAY up on where not to go.

Hmm…has anybody noticed how liberal we are with male fashion choices? Honestly, ladies, I blame this all on you. I’ve seen men wearing some of the gayest attire out in public and catch no flack from any ladies. Skin-tight pink button ups with a vest, ascot, pocket square and those polyester not-quite-tennis-shoes-not-quite-dress shoes from Aldo with some skinny jeans. Somehow, someway, this became acceptable attire. I don’t know when stylish dudes decided that looking gay was the way to get women, but it seems to be the case. Perhaps this is a DC-ATL-NYC-LA problem but really, someone please call 911.

2. You have to be up on some sort of artistic expression be it art, esoteric music, or travel arts.

Yes, I said travel arts. And do you know why I said travel arts? Because some of you ninjas treat your travels like its the gateway to painting oneself as a well-learned person. And while I do believe that experiencing new things helps to make you a fuller person, I definitely know some bougie ninja women who travel just so that they can tell other people that they travel so that they seem otherworldly to other folks who think a stamped passport makes you cultured. Bougie ninjas like art. I’m not sure why, but this is fact. I remember a long time ago this cat trying to sing to me the praises of Cody Chestnut’s Headphone Masterpiece. It’s mixed like hot garbage. On purpose. And somehow this made it artsy and I just wasn’t up on that hot sh*t because I didn’t f*ck with Cody’s album. Still don’t. But being the music snob that I am, I understood his plight. It also helps if you actually know what things like impressionism mean. I don’t. But my art knowledge is largely based on vinyl album covers. This right there? Is art.

3. You really do have to pretend to hate current popular Black culture and only have love for all things 90s

Rick Ross is the exception. Somehow, all bougie ninjas can get down with Rick Ross. Could be because he keeps making dope music. Maybe it’s his titties. I don’t know. The interesting thing about this one is that in order to hate it you have to engage in it. Which means that we have to listen to it all to hate it, which we do with enthusiasm. I know I do.

4. BET is the ruining the community.

You just have to say this a few times a week or whenever somebody says BET. And you can use any BET awards as your only reference point. It’s like an exemption to play in the Master’s.

5. It is vital to appreciate natural hair.

Odd, I know. But there is a huge undercurrent of women going natural and it has to be loved and appreciated en masse. Now I personally love natural hair. En masse. See what I did there?

6. You must be willing to overspend on food.

Real spit, I HATE boutique eateries. If your menu only has 8 items and all of them cost $20 per plate, I cannot f*ck with you. But if I want to see other bougie ninjas, that’s what I have to do. Well, if I want to see bougie women. A group of bougie ninjas will hit up TGIFridays in a minute. Of course, this one is more prone to be likely in major cities as well.

I think I’ll stop there for now. These are a few of the best practices of the bougie ninja.

VSBNation, what else you got?

-VSBougie P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. ASCOT TO MATCH MY SOCKS WHATS IN MY SPEAKERBOXX? PINK AND BLUE. aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

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Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. He believes the children are our future and is waiting to find out if he is the 2nd most interesting man in the world.

  • filthy.

    You must go to brunch at least once a month if not every weekend.

    • http://twitter.com/thenaimacyde Naima

      I went to this place called Smiths with a friend and they had a brunch menu until 5 pm. Who wants Belgian Waffles at 2 pm? -__- I can’t stand these hip spots who think all people want to do is drink mimosas…oh wait…

      • http://twitter.com/#!/NewYork2VA NY2VA

        I want belgian waffles at 2pm… DAILY… with chicken.

        • http://twitter.com/_boron Boron the Negromancer

          I want belgian waffles at 2pm… DAILY… with chicken.

          Why must you make my job harder? It seems as if you are part of the solution, not the problem: you are far too comfortable occupying the space between bougie and gully!

          But don’t pat yourself on the back too fast! Your accomplishment is a statistical anomaly! Ha! Ironically, there are few other educated Blacks that are as enlightened as you are! As Panama himself wrote, “the vast majority of us tow the line between being the pretentious bougie ninja we hate the most and the person two steps out of the projects still concerned with credibility.”

          Ah ha ha! I always win! I’m going to celebrate by blasting “Aston Martin Music,” “B.M.F.”, AND “I’m Not a Star!”

          …Plus I’ll throw in an obligatory playback of “All I Do Is Win.” Because winning is what I do.

          • Corey

            Where my money or I’m bad perhaps??

        • j.ivy

          Or with a fried chicken omelet! Harold’s. Ok, time to make that trip to LAX!

        • Nell

          I love waffles. Any time of the day. LOL!

          I go to the Front Page here in DC sometimes – nice breakfast buffet – with waffles – at only $20 a person. Yum!

        • Amos Banks

          This goes with #6. Anybody who has been to a chicken & waffles spot has thought, “Dang, I could have bought a whole chicken and a whole box of Hungry Jack and still had ten dollars left”.

      • filthy.

        I don’t even go to brunches that don’t have unlimited mimosas. I will call the restaurant and specifically ask. “Oh you don’t have unlimited mimosas? Click.”

        • Mo-VSS

          RIGHT!

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          hmm…you need to step your bougie up…its “BOTTOMLESS” mimosas.

          • filthy.

            Pardon my bougie blunder. I went to a non-HBCU school. “/

        • Girl Kanyeshrug

          This is the only way to go…

      • Mo-VSS

        Uhm, I want to drink mimosas everyday in many different varieties:

        Traditional
        Pomegranate
        Rudy Red
        Cranberry

        Yes. I want mimosas all day long.

        • http://twitter.com/#!/NewYork2VA NY2VA

          And it bet not be no fcuking pulp in the juice. That’ll make me flip the table over.

          • StrawberryPoptarts

            this is true and iHollered

          • http://www.wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

            Omg, I can’t breathe

          • Girl Kanyeshrug

            AND in the really good places if you ask them to make the drinks stronger, they totally will!

          • http://eatreadrant-nadette.blogspot.com Nadette@Eat, Read, Rant!

            And it bet not be no fcuking pulp in the juice. That’ll make me flip the table over.<—-iDIED!

        • StrawberryPoptarts

          I think I’m going to transition to Bloody Mary’s. You know, some good ol “Hair of the Dog” Sunday morning drinking.

        • miss t-lee

          I’m not crazy about mimosas. I’d rather have a bellini, if they’re made right.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            why cant we all just do both and get bougiefied and drunk at the same time.

            • miss t-lee

              okay…truce!!! Let’s get wasted at 11am. :)

        • KenyaMcQueen

          I drink a mimosa everday at breakfast. I had to switch to non alcoholic champagne!

      • http://twitter.com/kjnetic peter parker

        “I can’t stand these hip spots who think all people want to do is drink mimosas…oh wait…”

        *Adds “drinks mimosas” to the bougie practices*

      • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay-d-lady

        let me jump on this bandwagon cause ur ah..

        Yeah
        went to this place called Smiths with a friend and they had a brunch menu until 5 pm. Who wants Belgian Waffles at 2 pm?

        SHYT ME. All Day. I love waffles.

      • J Murray

        @ny2va me too

      • http://www.theycallmeher.com YepYep

        “I can’t stand these hip spots who think all people want to do is drink mimosas”

        But wait… Brunching with my Bishes is my favorite pastime. Bellini’s and Mimosas are about 75% of my blood composition. lol

        And who wants to brunch at Old Country Buffet. Viva La Hipster Eateries!

        And most of them aren’t even that expensive. Hip Spots to eat don’t have to be Wolf Gang Puck’s. I find the menu prices at most of these places to be on par with Friday’s.

    • http://www.bellesandgentssociety.com Myssdee

      True

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      you real spit, brunch is definitely some bougie ninja sh*t. in DC its like brunch has exploded as the “it” thing to do. if one more tattoo’d thug walks by me talking about “best brunch spots, my ni**a” i’m gonna kick a squirrel.

      • Myra

        I’m sorry but if you live in DC you are in the Bougie Ninja Capital, Mecca, Ground Zero, Baseline of all Bougie Ninja Origins…and I’m from PG County, so I know what I speak of. But to me the funny thing is, that most young urbanites today are cartoons of Bouige (think little girl wearing her moms bra…totally playing dress up) buying into and acting more than for appearance purposes only. It’s actually quite sad, and yes I’m guilty because I wouldn’t be caught dead clubbin in Maryland, I like Rick Ross (cause T.I. keeps f*ckin up), but I don’t brunch, I get it in straight at IHOP…see what I did right there, Boughetto at it’s best!

      • Girl Kanyeshrug

        NYC on a Saturday or Sunday is Brunch Central with brunch special everywhere…

      • http://www.theleftsidepoets.wordpress.com MicTheMessenger

        It’s bougie everywhere, even here in Dallas. And it kinda came out of nowhere…or maybe it just seems like that since i just recently discovered it. I walked into a spot and was like, “So DANG, this is where all the bougie ninjas been hiding. They been having mf’in steak and eggs! and mimosas

    • Yaadgyrl

      Bougie ninjas know the owner of their favorite brunch establishment(s)…

      • http://twitter.com/itztrizz617 herbetteroption

        and bougie ninjas know the whole menu….you touch the menu they recommend like 5 things

      • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay-d-lady

        GIRL you talmbout my sister right there. lol With her old “Telll Chef Carl I said hey” face.

        • Yaadgyrl

          Or they come with, “tell him I love what he’s done with the Chicken chorizo and eggs…I can’t put my finger on it but something’s different”

          • CurlyTop

            Chicken chorizo ftw!!!!!!!!! Mmmmm. I’m not bougie.

      • Jen

        How about send their children to the same private school as the owner of their favorite brunch establishment?

    • http://www.thefriendraiser.com jenifer daniels

      there is a whole hashtag by elon james white called #webrunchhard. but we do.

      • Sasha

        The blog and video…hill larry us

    • Ivy St.

      My boyfriend and I go to brunch every Sunday. We at least try to switch the places up. Last week the lady making the omelettes asked my bf if he wanted his omelette the same way she made it last week. If you are really bougie, never go to the same place twice.

    • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      I love your screename, filthy. The period at the end makes it art. Also, I went bagginfoaf as to whether I should put another period after that sentence since your name already has a period and I figured I shouldn’t waste periods. Go green. Which is bougie. Win.

      • filthy.

        Lol. Thanks! =]

  • http://twitter.com/thenaimacyde Naima

    This seems to describe Black Yuppies pretty well. I try to fight these pretentious urges. I’m trying to bring humility back and sh*t.

    Some people take number 5 way too seriously. *whistles*

    • http://twitter.com/_boron Boron the Negromancer

      This seems to describe Black Yuppies pretty well. I try to fight these pretentious urges. I’m trying to bring humility back and sh*t.

      No, Naima! Embrace your bougie! Look down on others! And definitely don’t volunteer in the inner city or do anything else that alleviates urban plight!

      Come to the bougie side!

      • Yonnie 3000

        And definitely don’t volunteer in the inner city or do anything else that alleviates urban plight!

        See. I disagree. I think that bougie ninjas always volunteer and mentor. They have to show the less fortunate the way so that maybe they can grow up and be bougie… or at least have bougie children.

        • Imperfect

          …or at least have bougie children

          This!
          Is my daughter! Though I must admit, I cater to her bourgeoisie (I’m real bougie).
          She’s 12. Is morally opposed to eating meat (buying leather or anything that once lived). She’s in a private school, so all her friends live in the ‘burbs and/or the sticks. She plays a ukulele. Reads Shakespeare. Speaks French. And outside of basketball, all her sneakers are Coach and Toms.

          Like I said I do cater to it to some extent. I will support my babe in anything she feels strongly about and within reasonable means, do all I can to make sure she has what makes her happy. But she also has family who want the same. And in her circle, she’s not bougie, she’s average

          • WayUPThere

            0_0

            You done broke out the original word from which we coined the term bougie. Wow you certainly are bourgeoisie…or bourgeois, whichever you prefer. Carry on

          • Rogman

            Ukelele my ninja ?????????????

            lololol

            • Imperfect

              Yes. My babe is also a card carrying member of the nerd squad

        • http://twitter.com/_boron Boron the Negromancer

          Well, um…uh…

          *Removes mask*

          You’ve hit the nail on the head. I think that that is one of the few redeeming qualities of the Black elite vis-a-vis the White elite: its members believe in contributing to disadvantaged communities. And they practice what they preach. I’m not talking about fancy fundraisers in downtown penthouses and suburban mansions; I’m talking about tutoring, mentoring, and other forms of active volunteering. Because for every rich White woman that adopts a Michael Clarke Duncan a la “Blindside,” there are ten thousand educated Black people who volunteer in their inner city. However, I believe that, among bougie Blacks, women are much more likely to be the ones volunteering.

          Now that I’ve said (well, written) all of that, it’s no longer time for me to be the negro that the bougie set wants. It’s back to being the negro that the bougie set deserves…

          *Puts mask back on*

          I ignore everything that you just said! I am Boron! Kneeeeel to me!

          • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

            I like you.

            • http://www.wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

              I concur, we like you. Are you male?

              • http://twitter.com/_boron Boron the Negromancer

                In the days of time immemorial, Boron was once a man, but he then became something yet greater…a force of evil!

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          yeah i agree. bougie ninjas stay on their public service tip. they have to. b/c they have to be able to tell somebody else about their public service.

          some ninjas just watch Extreme Makeover: Home Editiona and swear they were there doe.

        • Jen

          Yes. Boron must be effing with the pseudo-bourgeois.

      • http://twitter.com/thenaimacyde Naima

        *gasp* I volunteer in hispanic communities because in VA that is our ethnic minority. For real though, they are treated horribly. Next time you see a day laborer you should ask him about his life and where he came from….and there I go way off topic.

        I think what people call bougie isn’t that serious. I hate pretentious people who have this huge sense of entitlement. No one cares about your master degree or PhD. *plays College Dropout by Kanye West*

      • http://www.thelowerfrequency.com TheMostInterestingManInTheWorld

        Oh no, if you’re bougie you most definitely have to do something that alleviates urban plight. You do this because normal non-bougie folk are too busy scratching out a living to actually have time to worry about other people. If you have the free time to spend your saturday mornings mentoring at risk niglets you’re either a saint or a bougie n***a. You must also do this because one of the first tenants of being bougie is that you must always out-bougie the next bougie n***a and volunteering in the hood is like reverse psychology to other non-volunteering bougie n***as. So when homey pulls up in his brand new Mercedes (the go to car maker for bougie ninjas) talking about how he just spent a week in the Vineyard (go to summer spot for bougie ninjas), you pull up in your Audi Hybrid and subtly mention how you spent your vacation with Corey Booker cleaning up the streets of Newark FTW.

        Adding to the list now let me say:
        Bougie n***as love Jesus, but don’t catch the holy ghost. When you’re bougie you have to be very particular about what church you go to and what denomination you practice. Non-Denom, AME (depending on the church’s history) and Presbyterian are all acceptable. Baptist and anything Pentacostal… no sir.

        • http://www.thelowerfrequency.com TheMostInterestingManInTheWorld

          *Pentecostal

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          word…bougie ninjas ain’t pentecostal? you might need to send that memo to the DC where Greater Mount Calvary has a slew of bougie ninjas in attendance every Sunday-Sunday.

        • NinaFontaine

          OMG MOST!!!! #DEAD!

        • Myra

          OMG I was just about to chime in as to whether my volunteering at my mega Baptist Church counts toward my alleviation of Urban Plight…
          And if you don’t know Baptist Bougie Ninjas are gangsta, the AME and Presbyterians arms are too short to box with God.
          P.S. I love this blog because of it’s diction, grammar, subject verb agreement, and well developed predicates….I want to set up shop and visit this place everyday!

        • http://www.eriesworld.blogspot.com Erie

          @TheMostInterestingManintheWorld

          I loooooved the response! I have accepted that I am bougie but I can act a fool if need be. I am from Chi city so…. Lol!

      • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        @ Boron the Negromancer,

        Let’s talk about your avatar, doe. And your screename. In that order. LOL

        • http://www.wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

          Concurred

          • keisha brown

            +2

        • http://twitter.com/_boron Boron the Negromancer

          Very well. The picture is of me moments before being in flagrante delicto. Let’s call the woman…Tammy.

          As for my name, I have dubbed myself Boron for as long as civilization has existed. In fact, there are records of my devious deeds in Mesopotamian ziggurats, Egyptian pyramids, and Roman frescoes…look it up. I employ the appellation “negromancer” because I am the Dark-skinned Master of Dark Arts. And though my title has “Negro” and “romance” in it, I am the Enemy of both! Ah ha ha ha!

      • J Murray

        lol

    • @milesfan79

      “Some people take number 5 way too seriously. *whistles*”

      yea everytime a women goes natural an angel gets their wings and 5 children in africa are able to eat the rest of the year

      • Cheeseburger Royale

        Nah, nothing that magical happens. What happens is that one more black woman doesn’t go into a rage when it rains or when she gets splashed by water. Also, the relaxer companies and brute-icians cry a little.

      • http://twitter.com/thenaimacyde Naima

        When I flat iron my hair, I feel like I am committing some cardinal sin. And I don’t like Carol’s Daughter products. *runs for cover*

        • Be On It

          The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing naturalistas that Carol’s Daughter was the end-all, be-all, for every single type of natural hair.

          • http://www.thefriendraiser.com jenifer daniels

            i can’t stand carol’s daughter. what a hustle.

            • miss t-lee

              Yeah, that sh*t stinks. No bueno.

              • CurlyTop

                I thought I was the only one who thought that mess was STANK! Add that to being over priced and doing jack squat for my tresses, I pass.

            • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

              Yeah, I’m not a fan, either. Used some of the products and it seemed to dry out my hair. I mean, air-body’s hurr is different and what works for mine won’t work for someone else’s but those who ack like CD is the cure-all for air-thang? Yeah, have a natural seat.

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            Whilst irritating scalps everywhere after Carol’s Daughter changed her original recipes for bigger profits!

            Are people still kissing Lisa Price’s behind? Jada, Solange, Cassie and that skinny chick have to have the worst case of itchy scalp and stink in their hair! Carry on!

            • http://www.vanitaapplebum.com vanitaapplebum

              +1

          • J Murray

            lol i have a friend who had bad reaction to those products

        • Imperfect

          I’ve never used Carol’s Daughter. I’ve been natural for maybe 4 years and until I got my locks 2 years ago, my CHI was my BFF! Getting locs was always the plan, and my hair straight (by whatever means) is far more manageable than kinky.
          But I love my hair now, best decision I ever made!
          Maybe goin natural has changed, I thought it was more about hair health.

          • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

            It was for me. I can’t speak for the bougie people.

        • Aisha

          Gurl yes! Carol’s Daughter is not a cure-all.

        • sigma_since 93

          @ Naima you will need secret service type protection after what you just said. I can see the angry mobs forming from here.

        • Yaadgyrl

          Carol’s Daughter is awful….I too used to feel guilty straightening my hair….now I flip the middle finger to anyone who has something to say about my straightened hair or blonde highlights…

          • Be On It

            I know this is a no-true scotsman fallacy, but no true naturalista is going to give your grief over straightened hair, or blonde highlights. All we want is people to not knock natural hair, and wear hair that is best for them. And stop saying wearing straight hair is easier without appropriate qualifiers.

            • naturalista88

              Agreed. Like, why do people have negative stuff to say to those who straighten their hair? Silly ass ninjas making all naturalistas look bad *smh*.

          • Yoles

            yaadgyrl… that would be you AND me flipping birds to chicks having something to say about our relationship with blow outs and flat irons!!

            • Yaadgyrl

              Girl YES! Dem same chicks want to know what products I use when my hair is un-straightened….GTFOH….I get these curls from my Daddy’s Daddy!

            • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

              Yeah, even though I’m in curly obsession since being a new natural, I can’t hate on folks who want to straighten sometimes. I mean, folks put color in it, too… no different. It’s just another way to style it. No biggie.

          • Royale W. Cheese

            You should never feel bad about your choice to straighten, and I will stand with my straightened sistas against general black oppression and stuff. But sistas who want to hang out on the pool side, on the beach shore, indoors when it’s “too humid” out, or under the eaves when it’s raining get left behind with the quickness. My patience ends at water-phobia.

        • http://twitter.com/thepopculturist thepopculturist (aka BKSweetheart)

          Miss Jessies makes the best hair products for natural hair, IMO. Curly Buttercream! Also Mixed Chicks products are great as well. Expensive, but well worth it.

        • Royale W. Cheese

          Most Carol’s Daughter products are very drying. However, the best product I’ve ever used for my afro is the CD Hair Milk…even compared to Paul Mitchell products. I like the CD Hair Balm, too. The rest of the products are not the bomb, IMO.

  • Phuture PharmD

    And have a vast knowledge of wines…..and shop at Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s at least twice a month.

    • MizzCam

      Be at least semi-fluent in another language. [or throw in random foreign phrases during your conversation and act surprised that other people didn't know what you said]

      Only eat organic food – Whole Foods, Mustard Seed – or even grow food yourself.

      Join/host/start a book club.

      • MizzCam

        Didn’t mean to reply here.. =/

      • Yaadgyrl

        Yup! They also shop at Farmer’s market…

        • http://iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

          I deeply study all the organic varieties of wines at Trader Joe’s before purchasing 2 buck chuck I’m a reg’la sommelier

          • Fivegirl

            the juxtaposition of the words “reg’la” and “sommelier” is pure poetry

            • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

              Ain’t it though.

        • http://www.thefriendraiser.com jenifer daniels

          i stay at the farmer’s market.

          • Yaadgyrl

            I like the concept but I never remember the days or times… The new thing in my gentrified neighborhood is the urban garden… Really? I know we are gatedesque but this is still North Philly…

      • randomeffery

        i think you are branching out beyond black bougie and into blipster territory…but i could be wrong…

        the OP made me happy b/c being black bougie is like my worst fear…and if this is the checklist, i definitely am NOT…

        but the trader joe’s, linguaphile, natural hair, enlightenment through books, wanting to grow one’s own food & having a political analysis that extends beyond the “conservative v. liberal” (false) dichotomy, probably not christian, sexually liberated enough not to care if ur gay/straight/bi/sex worker/promiscuous/asexual/celibate/polyamorous, proud to be african, black folk w/degrees…who aren’t stuck in the 90s b/c we know quality, CURRENT underground, independent, & international artists…*we out here*…some of us can pass for regular bougie, some of us can’t or refuse to do so…but we out here!

        this is probably just a transparent attempt to make myself feel better, or maybe my ego is too big but i think…we deserve our own category…

    • Telekins

      I am a member of a wine club. . . and go to the wine shop to drink and socialize every Friday. . .

      • Telekins

        O and I try to only buy wine from the black owned wine shop. . . *sigh o Hampton look what you have done to me. I cant drink moscato, love malbecs, and a good port. . .

        • http://lizburr.com Liz

          LOL. I haven’t gotten that far yet, but I am about to be…

        • Andi

          Go Pirates!!!

          :D

        • Be On It

          we are right >here< on the love of Malbecs. I prefer the Argentinian ones. Higher alcohol content.

        • Yaadgyrl

          I think they drink Salentein in heaven…

        • Briana

          O and I try to only buy wine from the black owned wine shop. . . *sigh o Hampton look what you have done to me. I cant drink moscato, love malbecs, and a good port. . .

          This is so real. Hey soul sista.

    • Mo-VSS

      Oh, and the bougie also have taken at least one trip to a vineyard (bonus points if they don’t call it a winery…lol) to do a tasting.

      I know I’ve been to several. In my defense, I live near Temecula, which is like the lower class Napa Valley of southern Cali.

      It’s expected here.

      • Lauren

        I’ve been there too! I liked it. But I have to ask, why is aiming high, working hard and wanting the better things for your family considered bougie?

    • DC1913

      Right….like who the hayle is dropping $100 on groceries they could have bought for $35 at giant??? Bougie ninjas! But the tabouleh at whole foods hot bar is devine! I eat it wit red kool aid on the side #gangsta !

      • K

        The vegan crab cakes @ whole foods. To. Die. For.

      • http://twitter.com/itztrizz617 herbetteroption

        i have gotten used to organic fruits, even if i gotta rent an EBT card to get em lol

        • miss t-lee

          You already know. Hustle hard. :)

        • J Murray

          rotflmao lol

        • js_nene

          LMAO!!! Now you ain’t never lied! This truly tickled me…

      • http://twitter.com/#!/NewYork2VA NY2VA

        But see, the fact that you purchase and eat tabouleh in your home negates your entire statement. Eff, your red kool aid. You know it’s really cranberry-pomegranate juice. Here’s your bouge badge. *reaches over to pin it on you*

      • http://www.clothingoptionalshoesrequired.com Toni Childs

        In defense of Whole Foods, the seafood tastes better AND Giant gets a little price happy on their lamb (when you can find a store that carries it -ground and in chops).

        • http://twitter.com/#!/NewYork2VA NY2VA

          (when you can find a store that carries it -ground and in chops).

          Harris Teeter, baby!

    • Ivy St.

      It’s funny how Trader Joe’s always gets lumped in. Trader Joe’s is cheaper and closer that my regular grocery store. I think people who do the majority of their shopping at Whole Foods are somewhat bougie. Some go JUST to say they shop there.

      • sigma_since 93

        Cosign. I ger my fruit, nuts, and veggie chips cheaper here than I do at wally world or the grocery store.

    • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      “And have a vast knowledge of wines…..and shop at Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s at least twice a month.”

      So basically, folks who drink Moscato with their pinky up and grocery shop at Walgreens (where they got their Moscato from) need to have a fold-up seat?

      • GuestOfTheDay

        Dying…Died..DEAD!! @ “folks who drink Moscato with their pinky up”
        priceless

  • Mo-VSS

    No no no…women do not like men in skinny jeans, tight baby tees and sneakers. We don’t. I know y’all wanna blame us for the male fashion choices but unless you live in Cali, that attire is not acceptable (I see women with men who wear those clothes here (none of them black women) so I say it works somewhere)

    And other things that toe the line:

    1. Erykah Badu…I love her and am willing to defend her with the 3 or 4 kids by maybe as many fathers. I’ll say she’s “earthy” and “unafraid” instead of ratchet and ignorant.

    However, Lauryn Hill, even with all the kids by the same dude, I just can’t defend. LOL, hilarious I know.

    2. Knowing at least one blog to be up on and comment/lurk on frequently. I feel like you ain’t sh*t if you don’t know at least one black blog that’s not necolebitchie (no hate) or the ybf (some hate). Like you aren’t even educated unless you peruse at least one of them. I know that’s not the case, I’m just saying.

    I can’t think of any more but I’m sure others will :D

    • tgtaggie

      1.I think Erykah gets a pass (with me and most men) partly because she is a anomaly. She is actually badder now than when she first came out. http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRRdPaLaH8hg6TLgEbHEbXmHG-lXwgTK9Zdpi3diSSGPFJdGPJn
      Plus she turns her baby daddy’s into bougie ninjas (see Common and Andre 3000)

      2. And their comments are like dissertations. lol.

      • keisha brown

        And their comments are like dissertations. lol.

        ……….
        LOL

      • WayUPThere

        Just when I thought I was done with Erykah Badu, she pulls me right back in to her. That booty intellect of hers is ginormous

        • tgtaggie

          It still amazes me on how bad her body is now after 3-4 kids. I really think every guy wants their future wife to be like that.

          • WayUPThere

            co- to tha friggin-sign

          • http://twitter.com/itztrizz617 herbetteroption

            i’d trade my fitteds for headwraps to tap Erykah lol

            • http://twitter.com/#!/NewYork2VA NY2VA

              DEAD!

            • Yaadgyrl

              I died…

            • xLadyTx

              LMAO

      • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

        *badly written dissertations

    • http://twitter.com/#!/NewYork2VA NY2VA

      Girl you know we can’t quit Erykah, especially when she spells her name that way.

      • Mo-VSS

        Right, she is like the EPITOME of what we’ve all come to socialize “ghetto” with yet, she stays winning and out of that category by white and blacks alike. Amazing. The spelling of her name, the babies, never being married, the weed smoking, the “block is hot” mentality (in some of her songs) and yet and still she never is associated with anything remotely sour.

        I can’t knock her. Like. AT.ALL!

    • http://iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

      .Lauryn Hill said Rohan IS NOT THE FATHER of her new baby boy. *deep sigh*

      On that note, bougie ninjettes don’t do Rasta d*ck

      • http://twitter.com/#!/NewYork2VA NY2VA

        Only on vacation…

        • http://twitter.com/fixedwater fixedwater

          I completely BOLMAO at this, “On that note, bougie ninjettes don’t do Rasta d*ck”, then this^

      • Myra

        ________________*flatline*_____________

        I love everything about this comment…carry on.

      • http://twitter.com/fixedwater fixedwater

        I completely BOLMAO at this, “On that note, bougie ninjettes don’t do Rasta d*ck”

    • http://tdlove.wordpress.com Tonya

      I live in Cali and I refuse to accept men wearing tight jeans. That outift may fly in SF but not in Oakland!!!

      • http://twitter.com/GGBanger Phidelity15

        you in Oakland?!? Can you please explain this Kreashawn ish? What in the entire fcuk is a white girl mob??? I clicked a link, watched two youtube videos and lost a few brain cells watching her.

        • http://tdlove.wordpress.com Tonya

          I’m more on the Bougie side, so the I only listen to 102.9 KBLX or my iPod (which includes neo-soul, Tupac/Biggie and 90′s soft rock), so I have no idea what you are talking about. (I just googled though, sounds like a hot mess).

          We rep EnVogue, Raphael Saadiq, Goapele, or (if you are bordeline ghetto) Keshia Cole. :)

          • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

            I tried liking Goapele but I just can’t. I find her to be a poor man’s Amel Larrieux.

            • Be On It

              With half the range and vocal mastery

              • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

                Exactly.

              • http://twitter.com/#!/NewYork2VA NY2VA

                But her hair is GORGEOUS! I like her but she can’t touch Amel vocally.

            • http://tdlove.wordpress.com Tonya

              Okay..let correct that. The dudes in Oakland LOVE them some Goapele. She’s kind of a one hit wonder to me.

              • Cali

                Also in O, & yea – she has one great song that I love, but I can leave all the rest. & her hair WAS gorgeous – she chopped it though, did she loc again??

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      No no no…women do not like men in skinny jeans, tight baby tees and sneakers. We don’t. I know y’all wanna blame us for the male fashion choices but unless you live in Cali, that attire is not acceptable (I see women with men who wear those clothes here (none of them black women) so I say it works somewhere)

      you say its not acceptable but that style of dress is running rampant. that style of dress is like an hiv outbreak in botswana. its everywhere and ladies are dating these dudes. why ELSE would straight guys continue to do it. its like a slap in the face to social darwinism. stop slapping darwin ladies.

      • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        I JUST saw those cat daddy inventors on Mo’Nique yesterday wearing skinny jeans that were FLOODING (pants too short for those who don’t know… now ya know). They looked every bit of a plum fool.

        • naturalista88

          So now you either sag in skinny jeans or you flood in them. Lawd, these churrin’ is so confrused….

      • Tahdow

        Unfortunately it is everywhere. I blame H&M!

  • SayItAn’tSo

    You are not enjoying the lounge if you don’t get bottle service…50 dollar moscato is soo much better than the 9 dollar bottle in target!

    • http://www.bellesandgentssociety.com Myssdee

      LMAO…riiiiight

    • Yaadgyrl

      Regular people make bougie ninjas itch so VIP is mandatory…

      • nickalee

        mingle with the gen pop?? no sir.

    • OutrageousFlair

      Bougie people drink Moscato!? Are you sure this is not the Boughetto?

      • tgtaggie

        All I hear is Roscoe Dash in the background.

      • SayItAn’tSo

        maybe some 8.84yrs aged organic wine imported from the Himalayas would be more appropriate… after all moscato might just be too ghetto

      • http://twitter.com/thenaimacyde Naima

        Bougie people know Moscato is a dessert wine with low alcohol content. Blame Drake for not having anything to rhyme with “bravo.”

        • Yonnie 3000

          +1

        • Aisha

          +2

        • sigma_since 93

          +3

        • OutrageousFlair

          +4!!!

          • StrawberryPoptarts

            +5.

            • http://twitter.com/itztrizz617 herbetteroption

              +6

              • keisha brown

                Drake stay getting blamed for sh*t.
                It’s cuz he’s Canadian isnt it???
                Y’all took that Blame Canada thing WAY TOO FAR!!!
                lol.

                • naturalista88

                  You make me wanna pop in the South Park movie now *lol*.

                • Yaadgyrl

                  Lol

        • sigma_since 93

          Moscato has replaced wine coolers and boones farm. Ninjas tryin’ to come up.

          If Dave Chapelle could do the reprations skit over he would have a piece that winery profits are up due to increaded negro moscato consumption.

          • DG

            True, true…I think it’s cuz the name ‘Moscato’ just sounds bougie…MO-scat-O…just rolls off the tongue more easily than E&J, Boones farm, etc. Plus, you can carry it around/take it home sans brown paper bag, and you actually need a corkscrew to open it up (y’know the corner store liquors got the screw-off caps)

            Moscato wine: Making regular ninjas feel bougie since 2008…

            • sigma_since 93

              Moscato wine: Making regular ninjas feel bougie since 2008…

              Flatline!!!!

            • StillSuga

              *dead*

            • xLadyTx

              That made me laugh for a good solid 2 mins

      • hehe

        lol I was thinking the same thing

      • Andi

        Bougie people do not drink Moscato. It is the Hi-C of wines….

        • http://naturallydreaded.wordpress.com N.I.A.naturally

          I beg to differ. Bougie people don’t drink Moscato in the club or at dinner with their steak. And on another note, bougie folk know and understand wine pairings. You can’t just drink a red wine with anything. Will completely ruin your palate.

          • http://www.thelowerfrequency.com TheMostInterestingManInTheWorld

            NIA for the Win.

          • NinaFontaine

            Word!

          • J Murray

            Thank you!

        • Nikki

          But they do drink chardonnay in large quantities. Not to say there is anything wrong with Chardonnay but when in doubt it’s the uppity ninja who doesn’t know a thing about wine’s drink of choice. Just saying…

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        i was out with my homeboy once and this ninja ordered moscato. i looked at him like he just kissed amber rose with wiz khalifa and kanye west in attendance.

        i asked him where dey do dat at? he said, he heard it in a rap song and rap ninjas know whats up.

        • J Murray

          That’s that ignant shhhhh….. SMH

        • Girl Kanyeshrug

          UGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

    • filthy.

      Oh yes. Bougie folks drink Moscato at home for shits & giggles. Not in public really.

      • http://www.wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

        This. I am not Boogie, though.

    • IsOurChildrenLearning?

      Practicing bougie nigs DO NOT drink Moscato.

      • KneeCee

        Practicing bougie nigs DO NOT drink Moscato.

        Correction: no longer drink Moscato since the ghetto folks BE drinking Moscato now and because, as Naima (see above) said, Bougie people know Moscato is a dessert wine with low alcohol content.

        • Amazonian Midget

          “Correction: no longer drink Moscato since the ghetto folks BE drinking Moscato now and because, as Naima (see above) said, Bougie people know Moscato is a dessert wine with low alcohol content.”

          Last night while dining in a dessert bar in the hidden part of STL that is still thriving (note: bougie), the bf and I were just mentioning how so many people we know don’t know that Moscato is a dessert wine and how the fact that it’s so “common” we don’t drink it anymore.

          Also, bougie women don’t shop at Bebe or Arden B if for no other reason than the women from the block shop there also.

          • hehe

            I hate Bebe with a passion! I went on the website yesterday to see if there’s anything cute but it’s just a bunch of tight ugly clothes.

          • Yaadgyrl

            Bougie chicks shop high end dept stores, boutiques, designer-specific stores, or Anthropologie….half their closet comes from local designers they discovered during their exotic travels…

            • ThisIshRightHereNinja

              Bougie chicks make–and arrive ontime to–personal shopping appointments at department stores (at the white mall).

              • Yaadgyrl

                YES!!!!

        • Phuture PharmD

          Bougie nigs drink port and sherry wine INSTEAD of moscato and have the appropriate glasses for that wine
          Also on occasions, they will break out a bottle of absinthe to get extra bougie with it..

          • http://www.wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

            Now, that is just talking it too gahtdamn far. You super mega bougie.

  • keisha brown

    you must completely ignore this post to wish the one and only (and original) Queen (cuz she’s a Leo) Bee of VSB (Cheekie if yall aint guess) a very very very happy birthday!!!!!

    *pauses on the making it rain in cdn currency til thursday…

    but..um.. about the post..
    i dont consider myself bougie, but know myself. i grew up in bougie. my entire wardrobe in HS was Gap and Nike. i was accused by black people for not being black enough. i hold potlucks. i still dont know how to dougie.

    um…that’s all i got for now!!

    • xLadyTx

      After reading this post, its been concluded that I am, indeed, Bougie lol. I went to a predominately white school K-12, so really, its all I know!

      • keisha brown

        exactly. there were like 5 black families in the 5 yrs of secondary school. (ok.. maybe 10). and i was one of them. lol.

        • tgtaggie

          I ain’t going to lie. I’m bougie as hell. In undergrad, (I even went to an hbcu) I drove a Jeep Wrangler and played golf when I wasn’t in class. lol. I even dressed like I was on staff at J.Crew and use a Macbook.

          • http://tdlove.wordpress.com Tonya

            Using Macs isn’t bougie..it’s smart. :)

            • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

              If by “smart” you mean “evil” then yeah. :)

              • http://tdlove.wordpress.com Tonya

                Pretentious evil 2520 “ha. ha. ha. ha. haaaaa” laugh.

              • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

                uMad?

          • Corey

            A Wrangler?? Really?? As a former mechanic, I can safely say I have NEVER seen a person of color driving one of those sir.

            • tgtaggie

              To answer your question…yes. Its a pretty cool vehicle, it just bad on gas. lol.

    • http://twitter.com/thenaimacyde Naima

      *throws confetti*

      HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHEEKIE!!!

      *dougies*

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

      HAPPY BIRFDAY CHEEKIE!!

      I’m sure Yoles is gonna do some fancy type ish and I’ll sign that like it’s from me.

      (hits my Bougie)

      • keisha brown

        lol. for the record…my bday wishes are a day early tho.. i’m heading into a vsb hiatus… lol.

        • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

          Aw…Where you going? Are you too bougie for us now. :(

          • keisha brown

            i’ll be hosting some of your fave VSS’s in Toronto for Caribana weekend. Arrivals begin tomorrow.
            i will have no part of a computer til next week. ;)

            • naturalista88

              Sounds like it’s gonna be loads of fun. Hope you ladies have a blast & be safe (oh, and if you see Laz Alonso get a nude pic of him) :)

      • WayUPThere

        Happy BDay Cheekie

    • Imperfect

      Happy Birthday Cheeks!

      • http://iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

        happy birfsday Cheekeh!

    • Andi

      HAPPY BIRTHDAY LADY CHEEKS!!!!

      And I’m confused, are potlucks not Black?

    • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      “you must completely ignore this post to wish the one and only (and original) Queen (cuz she’s a Leo) Bee of VSB (Cheekie if yall aint guess) a very very very happy birthday!!!!!”

      LOL, thanks dollface!

      VSB Fam, the actual birfday (will be traveling all day so may be a little ghost so big ups to KB for lookin’ out ahead of time) is tomorrow (7/28) but you know how we bougie? We celebrate Birfday Eve!! POW!

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        i was about to say, ain’t your birthday TOMORROW!?

        happy early bday cheeks. have some cheeks.

        • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

          “i was about to say, ain’t your birthday TOMORROW!?”

          LOL, yeah. Didn’t VSBers do the same thing to you for your birfday? I just think VSB Nation likes to dispel stereotypes. We ain’t truly on CPT, we be EARLY up in this bish. Pow!

          • J Murray

            Thats only because with think our birthday should be a national holiday and therefore giving us two weeks of vacation, for which we need to take off the day before! Make sense???

            • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

              Loads.

      • Corey

        Happy birfday lil Cheeks!!
        *grabs two handfuls of cheeks, licks face and gives four trill pelvic thrusts*

      • keisha brown

        it’s a bougie leo thing. ;)
        my birthday celebrations start tomorrow and go until monday! day of birth? wednesday. lol.

        • bumilla

          damn skippy.

          i’m taking three days off work to make sure i exercise my born day rights to the fullest.

          #TeamLeo

          • keisha brown

            BAM!
            When’s ya bday Bumilla?

          • xLadyTx

            Leos stand up!!! Pretty sure I got the week off for mine lol

            #TeamLeo

            • nickalee

              #TeamLeo

          • The Law

            #TeamLeo

      • Yaadgyrl

        Happy Birthday Eve to you Cheekie!

      • http://twitter.com/fixedwater fixedwater

        wish I had scrolled down before i sent my tweet, enjoy your day. the countdown is on!

    • Ms. My2Cents

      Happy early Birthday, Cheeks!!! May you have a fabulous b-day potluck…at a low-key hipster art gallery…with nothing but high-brow, expensive wine…and tray-passed hors d’oeuvres, aka Cheese Whiz on Ritz crackers!!!

    • Yoles

      ???????? YAY ??CHEEKIE?? !!!!!????????

      ???Do you know what today tomorrow is????!? It’s your ?????Birth-A-Versary???????

      ?Much ??? BLESSINGS ??? sent your way ?? on this your almost??EARTHSTRONG???

      ???travel ???safe tomorrow & have a ???great??? trip!!!!!!!

      • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

        (signs my name to this birthday wish)

      • http://twitter.com/#!/NewYork2VA NY2VA

        LOVE,
        NY2VA

      • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        *faints at this glorious birfday wish* Thanks Yoles… and cosigners! Black folks comin’ together to cosign on other black folks’ ish when the reason has nothing to do with bad credit is a beautiful thang.

      • http://twitter.com/#!/AbRock3000aNC9I BmoreCreative

        Happy Earthday Cheekie….sign card. Leo’s Rock!

      • StillSuga

        Happy Birthday Cheekie!

    • WayUPThere

      Keisha, you don know how to hit that dougie? 0_0

      • keisha brown

        @wayupthere:
        LMFAO…um. i do not.
        no one really did ever teach me.

        • WayUPThere

          I’m in shock, but willing to offer support. I saw Naima hittin the dougie upthread. Maybe she can help.

      • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        Don’t worry, I’mma teach her. And finish it off with a cat daddy. America, f**k yeah.

        • WayUPThere

          See das why I like you cheekie. You’re solutions-oriented AND giving back on your birfday! Be careful though cuz with that combination, your bougie is showing.

        • keisha brown

          i cannot wait to execute my 1st feline father (s/o to lboogs). LOL.

  • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

    Brooklyn :(

    • Queen Elizabeth

      what? what about it?

      • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

        Bougie ninja heaven now.

        • IsOurChildrenLearning?

          Really?! I must visit

        • WayUPThere

          For real? I was the grits and biscuits party this past weekend down there, and let’s just say a lot of them left the bougieness at home.

          • http://www.twitter.com/MrRefinement MrRefinement

            Yeah for real! I was definitely on stage at G&B thinking I was Big Meech…Larry Hoover. Good Times! #NoJJ Everybody checked the bougieness at the line (a long a$$ line at that) on the hottest day of the year.

        • http://twitter.com/#!/NewYork2VA NY2VA

          And 2520 hipsters too.

          • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

            They’re everywhere now. Like roaches. *shudders*

            • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

              Have I been forgiven TAC? :(

              • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

                I don’t know…You hurt me badly Malik. I don’t think your face licks will ever feel the same…

                • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

                  Can I lick your neck instead?

                  On topic: The Boug only light hand made scented candles during luvins. No Bed, Bath or Beyond going on over there. FYI anyone, if you’re in NYC I can get you some for the low because I can make them.

                  • Lina

                    what type of candles? my mom loves them.

                  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

                    I’ll allow it.

                    • Corey

                      I guess that means your face is all mine now….MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

          • Todd

            Eh, they’re just trying to prove how they can live alone from mommy and daddy without someone having to do their laundry and clean up after them. About 5 years ago, I was ready to lead them to the concentration camps. Le sigh…

            • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

              Gas ovens are so not green enough for them.

              • Todd

                So I guess just sticking them in the woods in Alaska and making them fend for it would be best, right? :)

                • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

                  If the Palins can do it, you betcha! ;)

          • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

            LOL, yeah as soon as my ex coworker said Brooklyn was an “up and coming” place prior to moving there, I did a honorary facepalm for the natives. LOL

    • hehe

      you betta not talk bad about my hood

      • WayUPThere

        Am I the only one who thought of that Jeezy track “My Hood” from his first album after reading this comment?

        E’erytime I do it, I do it for my hood….

  • difficultisnotimpossible

    Loved this this list, especially #3. Well done. “Maybe it’s his titties” LOL

  • Queen Elizabeth

    photography. for some reason bougie ninjas, maybe all ninjas are really into photography. thats all i got right now

    • Queen Elizabeth

      smoking weed out of bongs/pipes.
      to go off of number 4, discuss everything wrong in the black community and be in a constant state of offended at anything slightly racial.
      networking events also seem to be popping up more and more.
      there seems to be a running contest for who can get into the most obscure fashion trends while simultaneously looking cool/thrown together

      • Queen Elizabeth

        also must listen to all types of music or you are uncultured.
        must be up on the current events in africa and have knowledge of african art

    • Mo-VSS

      Yes, like it’s the new hobby of the moment. Everyone with a bit of expendable income done picked up a Nikon with a lens and got to work. Some of them are quite good too…others, uhm, yeah.

      Another emerging hobby of the black bougie is becoming a make-up artist. If another one of my friends suddenly proclaims their “Kevin Acouin” (or however you spell his name, God rest his soul) skills must be tested on my face I’m gonna scream. Your smokey eye looks like a raccoon. Beat it!

      • Squeakdaddykane

        Dag…I was bout to go get a NIKON this weekend.

    • Lina

      Oh no, it seems as if I have some bougie tendencies. In my defense I was into film photography way before it became trendy again. Also, I working on using the sun to develop some of prints…

  • iNeedANewVSBName

    Can’t patronize Walmart

    Must be vegan, vegetarian, toying with idea or at least know the difference between the two. (No, I won’t just eat around the bacon in the string beans… -___-)

    Must have at least 2 degrees

    Must have read “Our Kind Of People”

    • Hawaii

      “Can’t patronize Walmart”

      SEE?! This is the main reason I couldn’t be a bougie niggrette. I contently support Mr. Walton & fam too often. :|

      • tgtaggie

        Bougie Ninjas prefer Target.

        • http://twitter.com/#!/NewYork2VA NY2VA

          Amen.

        • NinaFontaine

          so true LOL

        • http://www.twitter.com/drrdb TWIsM

          Aaand pronounce it “Tar-zjay”. LOL

          • xLadyTx

            YUP! Lol

          • Ms. My2Cents

            You mean The Bullseye Boutique?!? ;)

            • OutrageousFlair

              Stealing it!

            • xLadyTx

              LOL I like that

            • http://twitter.com/fixedwater fixedwater

              I love this! until it get’s overused, then I must find something new.

        • Imperfect

          Yes! The Targets here just expanded and added a grocery section! A bougie chicks heaven!

          • http://naturallydreaded.wordpress.com N.I.A.naturally

            Girl, yes. I was too happy when the local Targets got that expansion. TARGET FOR LIFE!!

          • http://twitter.com/#!/NewYork2VA NY2VA

            I can pick up a funky lampshade, a maxi dress, a sofa table, and grab some bananas for baby boy’s breakfast all in the same place. That’s a win for me.

            • Squeakdaddykane

              bougie chicks love maxi dresses.

              • keisha brown

                maxi dresses are full of WIN!
                *looks down at maxi dress currently being worn…

                • Imperfect

                  Yes they are! Summer dresses in general! Fully dressed in 2 seconds…and I’m cute! Yeah. Win!

              • Yaadgyrl

                say YES to the maxi dress!

                • Squeakdaddykane

                  Oh I’m not hating. I love bougie chicks IN maxi dresses.

        • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

          It’s Tar-jay. Soft sensual J sound, btw.

          And yes, Target >>>>>>>>>>>>>>

    • Mo-VSS

      I don’t patronize Wal-mart if I can help it because I used to be a union organizer and I just can’t with their employer/employee practices. They are truly an outright evil company.

      • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

        But their pact with Satan guarantees such low, low prices.

        • http://www.twitter.com/drrdb TWIsM

          Right! Beware Falling Prices… Because they’re going to our HQ in HELL!

          No but seriously, Arkansas is pretty close to hell. I mean would you go there?

          Would you? Seriously, would you?

          • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

            Folks tell me I’m going to hell anyway; why not?

            • Corey

              Actually the prices aren’t that low. They have nice pricing when they open one but after they have eliminated all nearby competition, they slide those prices back up on you and you don’t even notice. Walmart and GE got some tru to da game business goons on the team.

              • Yaadgyrl

                Ummm….I did 6 years @ The General….elaborate por favor…

                • Corey

                  You nuccas is cut throat!

                  • Yaadgyrl

                    That we are….

        • Todd

          Oh, so true. If only Jesus were cheaper… :)

          • http://twitter.com/#!/NewYork2VA NY2VA

            LMAO!

      • Cheeseburger Royale

        I’m more offended by the people who usually shop there than Wal-Mart’s evil practices. (bougie)^2

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        I don’t patronize Wal-mart if I can help it because I used to be a union organizer and I just can’t with their employer/employee practices. They are truly an outright evil company.

        #bougieninjalogic

      • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        Man, I’m kinda glad I saw that Walmart documentary AFTER college because I have no idea what I would’ve done after being so enlightened and air-thang. Especially a college student enlightenment. College makes you wanna change ish. Anyway, I’m mad ain’t no Costco by me because I have to frequent the devil Walmart’s cousin: Sam’s Club.

    • http://tdlove.wordpress.com Tonya

      Naw.. You just can’t patronize Walmart after noon on Saturday. At least in Oakland, because that is when the Jackson/Grant/Jones Family reunions starts, and anyone with sense worth a dollar knows to be FAR AWAY..

      Go early in the morning, get your cheaper than Ikea furniture and drive a way, real fast. Also good to avoid traffic. ;)

      • MissMiko

        No you need to head 3 exits over and head to your neighborhood San Leandro Wal-Mart for that ish….I never go to Hegenberger Wal-Mart. As a matter of fact, I once paid my patna 5 dollars gas money to head to the SL!

    • Andi

      LOL, I’ve definitely read Our Kind of People. I remember reading it at my 2520 dentist office and him asking me what it was about… I’m sure my explanation was awkward.

      • Yoles

        i read it as well then discarded the book…

    • http://uphereoncloud9.wordpress.com Wu Young, Agent of M.E.

      I hate Wallyworld with a passion but can’t ignore the low, low prices. Cheaper groceries, condoms, wind and beer.

      • http://naturallydreaded.wordpress.com N.I.A.naturally

        Thing is, it seems to only be a few cents cheaper. When I do go to Wal-Mart, its always the new SuperCenter near my job. Its still relatively nice, and haven’t been overrun by the ninjas who just like to hangout in Walmart. *sigh*

        • http://uphereoncloud9.wordpress.com/ Wu Young, Agent of M.E.

          Part of my issue with Wallyworld is the actual people. It’s like the state fair without funnel cakes and donkey basketball. It never fails that I get pissed off at some mom who has her kids out at 1:00 am because she’s yelling at the kid for acting up. He’s acting up because he wants to be at home! In bed!

      • keisha brown

        did you say WIND???
        LOLLLLL

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      I remember reading “Our Kind of People” for the firs time and being amazed that these ninjas existed. clearly, i aint one of them kinds of people.

      hell, when i got to morehouse i kept hearing about jack & jill and wondered why so many ninjas were obsessed with fetching pails of water.

      • miss t-lee

        You silly!!!
        My auntie had that “Our Kind of People” book. When I read it– I was shocked & amazed. I was like “who these folks?”

        • http://uphereoncloud9.wordpress.com/ Wu Young, Agent of M.E.

          My bumpkin a** never heard of Jack and Jill until I saw Graham speak at a conference for minority students who attend PWIs. I wanted no parts of those kind of people.

          • miss t-lee

            Yeah me neither. Definitely, do.not.want…lol

          • Imperfect

            Had never heard of Jack & Jill until an episode of Bernie Mac, when they joined “Jack & Jacqueline” and I was curious so I googled it

            • J Murray

              That’s the first time I heard of it too. lol