Pop Culture

Blood, Sweat, and Heels: Say Heffa Say What? Oh No She Didn’t!

"I'm going to toast to this stupid sh*t right now....but wait til I get to my computer."

“I’m going to toast to this stupid sh*t right now….but wait til I get to my computer.”

Tonight, Bravo debuted the show Blood, Sweat, and Heels featuring a few women I’ve never heard of, Melyssa Ford (who is still hot and was once referred to as the Cornel West of video hoes to me), and blogger extraordinaire and the one with sense, Demetria Lucas, of A Belle in Brooklyn fame. I didn’t watch the entire show because, well, I just wasn’t that interested. But after a few “are you watching this sh*t?” text messages and reading the Twitters disbelief at the (apparent) sheer idiocy of a few of the women on the show, I was all in.

I’m here for non-sense.

Fortunately, I managed to catch a segment that holds near and dear to the hearts of nearly all persons who have ever taken fingers to boards: what is and isn’t off-limits to be blogged about? Demetria attended a brunch with a bunch of her “friends” from this show, they said stupid sh*t (or at the very least debatable sh*t), and she decided to write about it. Wash, rinse, repeat for life.

Of course, this caused issues with her friends as they not only didn’t appreciate her using that brunch for material, she also did what all people who write about their personal lives and opinions do; she wrote it from her point of view AND made dumb sh*t sound dumb as hell. As you can imagine, this didn’t go well and never does. With anybody. Shenanigans will ensue. Whether this show will be worth watching from a positive perspective remains to be seen. Thus far it looks like it will be Basketball & Hip-Hop If The Chicks Could Read. But I’m sure I’ll watch for the potential non-sense. Because non-sense. Because shenanigans.

But Demetria’s decision to blog about a conversation that was had where she clearly thought the opinions of the other women were suspect brings up a very interesting point of debate that (like I said) every blogger I know has gone back and forth about. Champ and I have spent CONSIDERABLE amounts of time talking about life situations that we can’t ever write about for various reasons. But those are overly personal…

…what happens if you’re out amongst the homeys and somebody brings up a convo that gets the creative juices flowing? For most of us bloggers who dabble in the opinion and perspective arts our daily lives and conversations are the drivers for all of our journalistic whims. Hell, we look to it on purpose for material because its hard as hell to create new content daily without some inspiration. I know that I’ve definitely jacked my personal life for material and have taken conversations from the real world wholesale and turned them into blog posts. Now, I will usually, say nine times out of ten, let the people involved in a conversation know that I may use it for blog purposes. Which could be very well why so many conversations I have start with some variant of “don’t write about this” or “I do not want to read this on your blog!”

Of course, if you drag anybody over the rails, there’s going to be push-back no matter how necessary. And you have to expect that as a blogger with a popular forum that folks will read. And in Demetria’s words to her #bae, she said she had to hold folks accountable for their words (paraphrasing), except public blog #shotsfired feels personal. Granted, in these situations, the audacity to write about some sh*t without ever having that convo in person is usually worse than the words…hence the personal part. Especially since if a real conversation ever happened, the blog post may not have or wouldn’t be met with such surprise and “AND HEFFA SAY WHAT? AND HEFFA SAY WHAT? oh no she didn’t”.

But all that’s irrelevant. Only not at all. At the end of the day, as a writer/blogger/opinion artist, once you find a topic worthy of discussing you discuss it. Decorum and presentation matter and all that jazz, but if we’re convo starters, then if we have a convo thats worth having, don’t we owe it to ourselves to drop that bomb on ‘em?

So what say you? Would you be upset if you saw a convo that you just had with your writer friend show up on their site and you didn’t know they were going to write about it? Does it only matter if the subject matter shines a negative light, even if the post is completely anonymous? What’s the line?

Basically to all you writers out there…what dat blog do?


Filed Under:
Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • BreezyX2

    Disqus said be the first to comment so EYE just did. Happy New Year VSB and VSSs!!!

  • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

    I’m in the writer camp, there’s been plenty of times I stared at WordPress without a clue what to write and I get a text or call that sets me off. I write anonymously but regardless in some of their eyes me writing or tweeting anything, is like me roasting them in front of thousands of people.

    I’d say the line is nothing u would want to read about urself. Tell Ur story without bashing, if its impossible to do so then think if the story is worth telling.


    I missed VSB. Happy New Year everybody!!

    • http://trulytafakari.com/ dtafakari

      Happy New Year!

  • Rachmo

    First of all I would like to say that my sister and I still do the Barely Legal dance all the time. Like in 2014. Further my friend is a radio personality and has definitely used our convos on the radio. My name wasn’t mentioned so I didn’t really care. Also I didn’t watch the show but um, was the brunch taped? Bc um, your convo was already going to be on TV so I don’t see why they were mad.

  • ED

    As long as I’m not identified in it, I’m good