Blood, Sweat, and Heels: Say Heffa Say What? Oh No She Didn’t! » VSB

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Blood, Sweat, and Heels: Say Heffa Say What? Oh No She Didn’t!

"I'm going to toast to this stupid sh*t right now....but wait til I get to my computer."

“I’m going to toast to this stupid sh*t right now….but wait til I get to my computer.”

Tonight, Bravo debuted the show Blood, Sweat, and Heels featuring a few women I’ve never heard of, Melyssa Ford (who is still hot and was once referred to as the Cornel West of video hoes to me), and blogger extraordinaire and the one with sense, Demetria Lucas, of A Belle in Brooklyn fame. I didn’t watch the entire show because, well, I just wasn’t that interested. But after a few “are you watching this sh*t?” text messages and reading the Twitters disbelief at the (apparent) sheer idiocy of a few of the women on the show, I was all in.

I’m here for non-sense.

Fortunately, I managed to catch a segment that holds near and dear to the hearts of nearly all persons who have ever taken fingers to boards: what is and isn’t off-limits to be blogged about? Demetria attended a brunch with a bunch of her “friends” from this show, they said stupid sh*t (or at the very least debatable sh*t), and she decided to write about it. Wash, rinse, repeat for life.

Of course, this caused issues with her friends as they not only didn’t appreciate her using that brunch for material, she also did what all people who write about their personal lives and opinions do; she wrote it from her point of view AND made dumb sh*t sound dumb as hell. As you can imagine, this didn’t go well and never does. With anybody. Shenanigans will ensue. Whether this show will be worth watching from a positive perspective remains to be seen. Thus far it looks like it will be Basketball & Hip-Hop If The Chicks Could Read. But I’m sure I’ll watch for the potential non-sense. Because non-sense. Because shenanigans.

But Demetria’s decision to blog about a conversation that was had where she clearly thought the opinions of the other women were suspect brings up a very interesting point of debate that (like I said) every blogger I know has gone back and forth about. Champ and I have spent CONSIDERABLE amounts of time talking about life situations that we can’t ever write about for various reasons. But those are overly personal…

…what happens if you’re out amongst the homeys and somebody brings up a convo that gets the creative juices flowing? For most of us bloggers who dabble in the opinion and perspective arts our daily lives and conversations are the drivers for all of our journalistic whims. Hell, we look to it on purpose for material because its hard as hell to create new content daily without some inspiration. I know that I’ve definitely jacked my personal life for material and have taken conversations from the real world wholesale and turned them into blog posts. Now, I will usually, say nine times out of ten, let the people involved in a conversation know that I may use it for blog purposes. Which could be very well why so many conversations I have start with some variant of “don’t write about this” or “I do not want to read this on your blog!”

Of course, if you drag anybody over the rails, there’s going to be push-back no matter how necessary. And you have to expect that as a blogger with a popular forum that folks will read. And in Demetria’s words to her #bae, she said she had to hold folks accountable for their words (paraphrasing), except public blog #shotsfired feels personal. Granted, in these situations, the audacity to write about some sh*t without ever having that convo in person is usually worse than the words…hence the personal part. Especially since if a real conversation ever happened, the blog post may not have or wouldn’t be met with such surprise and “AND HEFFA SAY WHAT? AND HEFFA SAY WHAT? oh no she didn’t”.

But all that’s irrelevant. Only not at all. At the end of the day, as a writer/blogger/opinion artist, once you find a topic worthy of discussing you discuss it. Decorum and presentation matter and all that jazz, but if we’re convo starters, then if we have a convo thats worth having, don’t we owe it to ourselves to drop that bomb on ’em?

So what say you? Would you be upset if you saw a convo that you just had with your writer friend show up on their site and you didn’t know they were going to write about it? Does it only matter if the subject matter shines a negative light, even if the post is completely anonymous? What’s the line?

Basically to all you writers out there…what dat blog do?


Filed Under:
Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly (and gorgeous) for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. He refuses to eat cocaine chicken. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future. You can hit him on his hitter at

  • BreezyX2

    Disqus said be the first to comment so EYE just did. Happy New Year VSB and VSSs!!!

    • Cherry

      Chuck=Bitchassness at its finest.

    • sharitaatx

      He was tacky as hell but he was def on some CYA. He had to wifey was not
      gonna let it go until it was done…on camera! Bet that!

  • I’m in the writer camp, there’s been plenty of times I stared at WordPress without a clue what to write and I get a text or call that sets me off. I write anonymously but regardless in some of their eyes me writing or tweeting anything, is like me roasting them in front of thousands of people.

    I’d say the line is nothing u would want to read about urself. Tell Ur story without bashing, if its impossible to do so then think if the story is worth telling.


    I missed VSB. Happy New Year everybody!!

  • Rachmo

    First of all I would like to say that my sister and I still do the Barely Legal dance all the time. Like in 2014. Further my friend is a radio personality and has definitely used our convos on the radio. My name wasn’t mentioned so I didn’t really care. Also I didn’t watch the show but um, was the brunch taped? Bc um, your convo was already going to be on TV so I don’t see why they were mad.

  • ED

    As long as I’m not identified in it, I’m good

  • ED

    I’ve grown up around a lot of women at home. I’ve gone to school with a lot of women. I work with a lot of women now. I’m beginning to worry that I am either ridiculously oblivious to the changes in people’s emotions, or I just don’t care enough to even pay attention. I don’t even recognize in my live-in fiancee. With that said, how prevalent are extreme mood and emotional swings due to PMS? I understand there are some hormonal changes at that time, but are their effects always that noticeable. Please school me ladies.

    • $60245819

      I am moody all the time… so there is that :)

      • Epsilonicus

        Oh I know lol

        • $60245819

          HUSH! LMBO

      • ED

        PMS ain’t go shyt on you! lol

        • $60245819

          Not a darn thing Ed!

    • Rachmo

      I unfortunately get serious mood swings (I think it’s my BC) but I recognize what’s happening and am able to check it pretty well. Like I feel my irritation building but sort of brush it off bc I know it’s not the situation it’s me. But the mood swings really do vary from person to person.

      • ED

        How much less extreme do you think you mood swings would be without the BC?

        • Rachmo

          Um, WAY LESS EXTREME! Haha I went from a bit grumpy to my bf asking me a simple question (did you eat the last burrito) and me internally praying for the strength to not stab him. This is why I can identify it and during that 48 hours I force myself to pause before responding to anything.

          • ED

            So is it safe to say, for you at least, PMS accounts for a relatively small amount of your mood swings? Is that the norm or an exception.

            • Rachmo

              I think my case is the exception bc I’m still playing around with my BC to find the one that will make me the least crazy. And it really does vary fro person to person. Also diet and exercise affect my mood swings as well and I’ve been slipping lately.

              • ED

                Lol ok I’m gonna stop right there. Too many moving parts for me. If/when my fiancee has mood swings I’m just gonna pray lol

                • Rachmo

                  *randomly punches cubicle wall* Yes just pray. Or if she’s nice she’ll tell you and you just ride that b*tch out.

                • menajeanmaehightower

                  I feel like the mood swing issue does get blown out of proportion but i have seen it from one friend who was just a jerk for a solid 2 weeks. She had just switched her BC and asked the doctor to take her off the medication.

                  • Rachmo

                    I’d agree that it is blown out of proportion. I am very much the exception and realize it and just refrain from flipping tables like I want to when someone says “excuse me”

                  • I wonder, b/c I have found ways to mitigate that mood swing issue…do we take PMS/BC mood swings as a medical statement of fact? Like, it’s my BC not me, that’s why I’m moody, don’t hate me? Or is it something attributable to the person?

                    I ask b/c my husband says I was a “different person” when I was hormonal and pregnant, but I still FELT like me.

                    I dunno if this makes any sense lol. I’m trying to figure out how much mood swings mask a person’s personality/character.

                    • I do think some ppl use it as a crutch for an otherwise pisspoor personality, or an excuse to be a bish, but the hormonal effects of BC are truly nothing to eff with. I’ve said plenty times that the depo shot tried to ruin my life. I was crying and angry and excited and ready to hump legs and punch ppl in the mouf at the same damb time. Tis scary stuff.

        • menajeanmaehightower

          BC can cause serious mood swings. Even depression. This is why women have to test out a few before they determine which one is right for them and the level of the hormone as well.

          • ED

            That I’ve been a witness to. Not pretty

      • BC hormones are the DEBBIL. but that’s another topic.

    • esa

      ~ how prevalent are extreme mood and emotional swings due to PMS

      being a hippie chick, i believe that PMS is a condition caused by poor diet/lifestyle and high stress. whenever i eat well and i take care of myself, no PMS. when i am slacking and stressed out, i end up having a private meltdown once a month.

      i dont know if PMS can be prevented by people who aren’t willing to detox from the “comforts” and “discomforts” of modern life. most people want it both ways #vivaamerica

      i dont fukk with BC cause i dont buy into Big Pharm. me and my girl had a deep convo about it the other day. people are literally brainwashed into taking pills daily that no one knows the true consequences of.

      • SuperStrings

        “that no one knows the true consequences of.”
        Until 20 years later when all the damage has been done.

        • esa

          thas what happened to my girl. she went off after 20 years and had a horrible health problem as a result. we talked about how scary it is that society is has indoctrinated girls to fukk with their reproductive (amongst other) system rather than learning how to practice natural birth control.

          • SuperStrings

            That’s unfortunate, but probably far from uncommon. I try to avoid medication when I can.

      • All of my female friends are on BC. They pop pills every single day. Some of them aren’t even having chex on a consistent basis but they believe that it’s awesome that they have zero acne, regulated menstrual cycles, etc.

        I’ll never go on BC again, if I get pregnant, then I’ll just deal with that pregnancy how I see fit to. I don’t want to be a guinea pig for pharmaceutical companies. I know exactly what BC does to my body and the mechanisms that it confuses in order to keep my uterus baby free. I’m good. Don’t need it. I won’t knock women who choose to take BC though. We’re free to do as we see fit with our bodies.

  • Sigma_Since 93

    Am I the only person who noticed the question about dudes dating strong women and the two dudes that they have shown look spineless as all get out????

    • $60245819

      Nope, old boy looked like the Help.

    • Yoles

      i thought one dude was spineless as penance because he cheated on ole girl before and she took him back… payback + take you back= you my bytch

      • Sigma_Since 93

        That doesn’t explain the other dude.

        • Yoles

          i don’t have ALL the answers, I’m just one woman…

          • Sigma_Since 93

            but your Yolie……………

            • Yoles

              alas, my reach isn’t infinite…
              i’ll stay visually hot toddin though, to keep the peoples spirits up

      • SuperStrings

        “payback + take you back= you my bytch”
        Yep, looks right to me.

  • SuperStrings

    Happy New Year everyone. I haven’t seen the show, but I’d say that, unless someone specifically asks you not to share information on your blog, then you just have to use your own discernment. Hopefully you’ll be right more times than not. I’d like to say that any personal dramatic info should be off limits, but sometimes those scenarios make for such interesting blog commentary that I can see why writers would find it hard to resist sharing it.

    • Ahhhh, hello SS….fancy seeing you this year!!

      …..what part of science got it snowing and 7 degrees in Atlanta today? *weeps*

      • Sigma_Since 93

        Misery, and cold temps, love company. Besides it’s cuffing season. Get yo cuff on!!!

        • im permanently cuffed, and allll the cuffing in the world doesnt explain snow and temps below 50 degrees in Atlanta!!! *curb stomps a snowman* lol

          • It ain’t snowing by me :( I almost feel left out.

            • Sigma_Since 93

              You can GLADLY have these single digit temps and the snow and ice that have accompanied them.

            • Its just flurries where I am (west Atlanta), but still….what the frick.

      • SuperStrings

        Yeah this cold weather is not the business. I need to be somewhere in Fiji on a black sand beach with plenty of libation.

        • I’ve been to Fiji, and their breeze is like unicorn farts and safe chex lol

          • SuperStrings

            “their breeze is like unicorn farts and safe chex”
            If this is good, then I’m jealous. lol

      • ED

        7 degrees in Atlanta?!?! You mean Celcius right? I’m going back to Haiti. Fuck this cold shyt

        • No. Real life below freezing 7 degrees. Sigh. :-(

    • Heeeeey! :)

      • SuperStrings

        How’s 2014 going so far?

        • can’t complain! :)

          • SuperStrings

            True. Nobody listens anyway. lol

  • Yoles


    in short, if you are not naming names nor talking about something very personal to your friends and family then its ok to use your everyday life and conversations in blog posts imo

    ETA: i will watch the show for the pretty dresses… melyssa’s brunch dress was the stuff dreams are made from… and belle’s dress too… YUM

    • menajeanmaehightower

      You have a BC commentary to walk into downthread.

      Happy New Year!!

      • Yoles

        hormonal birth control is both satan and his minions

        HNY Mena!!!

        • esa

          tell it !

    • hugs and hi and happy new year, Yoles!

      • Yoles


    • h.h.h.
      • Yoles

        lol.. thats is the way i have seen you dance… get em’

        HNY to you as well…

      • This will never not be funny to me

    • Sigma_Since 93

      Mrs SS93 liked Melissa Ford’s brunch dress too. Will we see you Hot Toddin in something similar in 2014?

      • Yoles

        I’m scanning the inter webs for my “I’m big girl so i won’t be money making” version for myself right now… if the mrs has any clues pass the intel

        HNY to you and yours!!!!!

    • SuperStrings

      Hey Yolie Yoles. How you doing?

      • Yoles

        hey SS.. I’m great.. HNY to you and yours!!!

  • Is the My Disqus tab tripping with some SSL Error * message for anyone else?

    • camilleblu

      Disqus is giving me a slow death today…

    • Me too….creepy

      • Yeaah, I ain’t clicking nothing…

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