We’re all familiar with the concept of the tragic mulatto. You’ve seen her on television (probably Maury, Montel, or Oprah at some point ) spilling her heart out about the difficulties she’s faced due to her affliction.
You know the problem; nobody plays with half-breeds.
These shows have given these children, usually the offspring of Black and white couples and usually girls a platform to to talk about the difficulties of growing up mixed (or interracial) in a world where almost black kids (because let’s be honest here, these kids are not almost white) have many troubles due to those race-mixers — their parents — decision to make their lives a living hell.
Typical Talk Show Conversation b/w Host and Mixed Kid(s):
Host: What is it like to be – do you need a tissue, Becky-Shanquilta – what’s it like to be MIXED???
collective gasp from the audience
Becky-Shanquilta: The black kids won’t play with me because I’m too light, and the white kids won’t play with me because I’m too dark!! It’s sad because I can’t make friends. I just want people to like me!! It’s not fair; I get picked on in school by the black kids who call me “oreo” and “half-breed” and the white kids always want to touch my hair.
Most of the conversations (in summation) go something like that. And to be quite honest, it’s offensive to me. They make me look bad. Now I’ve been mixed my whole life, and maybe I’m the exception to the rule, but I’m always thinking: WHAT THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH THESE BASTARDS???
Truth is, I know what’s wrong with these people. For whatever reason, two simple facts seemed to have eluded them. Let us delve:
FACT#1: Mixed kids are black. That was the case in the good old days, you know slavery days…its the same now.
Somehow, they didn’t get the memo. I got mine, though luckily I had the fortune of having my dad sit me down when I was six years old and tell me straight up that though my mother was white, I was Black. Period. Point blank.
If more mixed kids were privy to these kinds of realizations at an early age instead of parents trying to tell these mixed (up) kids that they aren’t black or white, but mixed, well maybe, just maybe, these f*ckers would have somebody to play with because…
FACT#2: People don’t hate you because your mixed…they hate you because you’re an a*shole.
A lot of these bastards probably play up on the fact that they aren’t black around the black kids, and try to play up the fact that they ARE white around the white people. We can blame slavery for the inferiority complex…I’m blaming parents for not being strong enough to tell the kids the damn truth. These kids spend so much time saying “I’m not black” to their black former friends that the black kids start to hate them. Black people come in all kinds of shades, we learn that early, so we as black people accept most black folks (except in some parts of the South where light skinnededed people tend to be loathed by some and loved by others), but these f*ckers come along and say, “I’m not black, I’m mixed”, and sound proud to not be black. Major no-no. That’s why some Black folks hate them some half-breeds.
Now the problem from the white people, well, white people aren’t dumb. They know a non-white mufucka when they see one – EXCEPT in those cases where the mixed kid really does look, in fact, white (Imitation of Life, anyone???) sometimes confusing even black people. And white people are protective of their club AND hate self-unaware black people as much as black people do.
There you have it, the tragic mulatto. In a nutshell, people hate you have no sense of self and if it all went down tomorrow, we really don’t know what you’d do. Actually, yes we do…
…you’d listen to Mariah Carey’s “Vision of Love” on repeat for hours.
Tragedy. Just stop it.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P
Alls I know is that one of my favorite untragic mulatto is Angela Nissel. She wrote on my wall on MySpace CTFU after I told her I saw her tonguing someone down on “Scrubs” and it is STILL the highlight of my 2008.
Mariah Carey (and her 40% lycra, 60% Viscose, 100% tacky black dresses), however, needs to go find the closest quicksand, stand on it, and fight sinking. She irks my LAST nerves.
@Luvvie, hee hee at Mariah Carey. I like her music (but let’s not discuss that newest joint) but she is off her rocker. And how you damn near six feet tall and all your clothes look like they came from the children’s place?
I could probably comment more on the light vs. dark skinned blacks in the south thing more cause I’ve never been caught up in mixed people drama. But one of my boys says the same thing about a friend of his who has issues and is mixed. So his theory is all mixed people are crazy and have issues. *shrugs* I’ve met the dude and he is a bit crazy but I don’t if that relates to his mixedness of if he’s just an @sshole. He’s hot though.
@SouthernGirl,
I respeck Mariah and her 15 octave voice, but some of her music irks me too. EVERY damn line in a song does not need to end in runs. Her behind can make a 3 minute song turn into a 15 minute perpetual riff. She starts to sound like a dying cat at times.
I just cant. I won’t. I refuse. and I shan’t.
@Luvvie, um, yeah. that’s that beyriahtina-itis aka beyonce, mariah and christina agu-however the hell you spell it cause they all have that problem.
I find though that mariah has toned it down a bit lately, on wax (ugh, how do you translate this phrase to ’08?) but promptly falls off the wagon when she’s live. I don’t know how Christina don’t pop a lung on stage and especially B with all that vocal and literal running she does around a stage. mary gets to wailin’ a bit much for me too sometimes now that i think about it. still love ‘em though.
@SouthernGirl, ohmigosh. i dated a “mixed” guy for a while. at first, i was very impressed w/ his seeming lack of identity issues. but i soon began to realize, that his a*s was delusional. full of himself. an all around a*shole jerkoff.
not to mention this other mixed guy that i go to school with who tries to camoflauge himself in with the white people like they won’t notice. he’s even afraid to make eye contact w/ me or the other black women because i guess he thinks we want him (which is highly illogical because he’s so far out of the league that i would need opera glasses to even SEE him. lol) AND he almost had a seizure when someone asked if he wanted to join the black law student’s association. [wtf?]
so now i, like your friend, think all mixed guys–i can’t just prejudge a whole subgroup of women. that would be wrong.lol– are a little jerkish. or, at the least, just crazy.
….sorry panama. lol.
@charli skipper,
“he’s even afraid to make eye contact w/ me or the other black women because i guess he thinks we want him”
interesting that this is the conclusion you came up with as to why he isn’t making eye contact with you…
@Panama Jackson,
No, that’s the reason. He thinks if he makes eye contact we’ll drag him off into our love nest and….wait. did you just e-diss me? lol
@charli skipper, i was just asking a question…lol. just sounds like some chick logic to me is all…lol!
@charli skipper….ok wait! it typed that for me…dang ya’ll got auto-complete on this joint now? a sister been gone for a minute huh?
N-T-WAY I dated a mixed kid once (upon a time in a former life) and he was cool than a fan…but umm….he was half white…I wondered which half…and then I found out… (buh dump bum, ching!) yeah he had to go because he was under-qualified for the position, not because he needed a handler…but that is a very interesting theory!
@GOODENess,
“I wondered which half…and then I found out… (buh dump bum, ching!) ”
glad to see you’re back…lmao
@GOODENess, ohmigosh, GOODENess (you hit the nail on the head so hard that I have to say your name twice. lol) When I saw my mixtie’s um…..”cookies” i felt like i was being punked. i was like, “maybe we need to turn the light on.” “maybe we need to take you to the doctor.” “did you just come from swimming?” he kept looking like he didn’t see what was the matter, so i just had to play it off and be like, “I am sooo awkward when it comes to chex. lol.” lol!
and then when he started to act like an a-hole in the community i always wanted to call him out on that, but i couldn’t figure out a way to without making myself look like a bitter strumpet. so, it’s our little secret.
i don’t, however, believe that’s a universal affliction for mixtie men. or even 2520 men.
@charli skipper,
“i don’t, however, believe that’s a universal affliction for mixtie men. or even 2520 men.”
hee hee.it’s not…
Oh and I love me some A. Keys (pre and post moisturized situation and uncompromised sexy). She rocks!
@Luvvie,
boo her a$$.
that is all.
@Relax, Relate, Alise, lmao.
i don’t know what to do with alicia. i like her, but i didn’t get all the hype when she first came out cause songs in a minor was not the business to me. i think she has talent but i don’t lurve her. and now that she might be a homewrecker i really just don’t know.
@SouthernGirl, i just can’t get with alicia keys. i try to check myself often and make sure i’m not hatin’ but….yeah, i’m cool on alicia keys.
@charli skipper,
Yeah…I’m with you, I only like certain songs by Alicia.
I own her “Diary” album, but that’s because I got it for Christmas that year it came out…lol
@SouthernGirl,
whose home is she supposed to be wreckin?
i like her music but i miss the big curly hair…
@shatani,
“whose home is she supposed to be wreckin?”
Swizz Beats and Mashonda…lol
@miss t-lee,
hmmm. i had no idea about this. my cave staff must have intentionally kept this news from me
You’ve been sleeping Champie…lol
@miss t-lee,
Yeah. I like A. Keys but she trifling for this whole thing. She even threw him a party. YBF told me ALL the juice!
@champ, time to rotate yo’ staff homie. that’s been out there for a minute. swizz and keys ain’t saying much but mashonda gave an interview not too long ago that put alicia on blast kinda slick-like
@miss t-lee,
He upgraded. Good for him
LOL!!!! Ahh Deviant…your posts warm my heart so…lol
@miss t-lee,
I shouldve said he got an upgraydd
with an extra d for that double dose of pimpin.
Thank you…Rosebudd….lmao!!!
@SouthernGirl,
Homewrecker? I’m so out of touch. Whose home is she wrecking?
@Voiceofreason, look ^^^^ (swizz beats and his wife)
@SouthernGirl, I think…I know…Alicia Keys is overrated…I mean really…she cute…but that sanging…them lyrics…all.sound.the.same…her last CD sounds like she made it over the weekend! “the people” saw light skin, long hair, and a pretty face (complete w/ over bite) and didn’t expect her to be able to belt out notes the way she does…”they” went berzerck! sounds like hollering to me….(shrugging) I’m just saying!
@Luvvie, i generally feel like i’m in the minority here, but i think alicia keys is perhaps THE most overrated individual in music history. her music is okay at best, and it isn’t like she’s that interesting as a person…
i really don’t get her appeal aside from the fact that she’s attractive…and bright as hell.
@Panama Jackson,
She comes off as smart… at least to me.
I am ok on her music (not a big R&B fan in general) but she sounds intelligent and articulate in her interviews. She also seems to have a cool demeanor. Like a girl I would be friends with.
That’s why I fux with her.
I don’t know nothing about this business of her homewreckage ways… Listening to NPR constantly has its drawbacks…
@mssula, ummm….did you just say she came across as SMART? really? you think so? I used to like you….and now…(deep sigh) you have lost some credibility with that one!
@Panama Jackson,
“i generally feel like i’m in the minority here, but i think alicia keys is perhaps THE most overrated individual in music history”
I kinda like her, but I agree she’s a bit overrated. It’s because of the piano. They needed a new “Patrice Rushen”, and she was available. She even used to rock the braids when she first came out; just like Patrice.
@RedBeanzNRice,
…………………….
@SouthernGirl,
Why you do that? LOL
@RedBeanzNRice, cause you kilt me bringing patrice and her braids out the closet. lol
SouthernGirl,
Shew, Patrice is mah girl fa real. I still rock “Forget Me Nots”, “Haven’t You Heard” and “Remind Me” on my homemade CDs, in my car, lol. I was startin to think nobody knew who Patrice was (feelin all old and sh*t, like I’m the only one born in the early 70′s) Thank you for knowin. Can I borrow some glitter to throw on you?
*feels young again*
Wait, did I just tell on myself? I meant the LATE 70′s – yeah, REAL LATE 70′s.
Whew.
@Panama Jackson,
I agree. Alicia Keys stands out because she has a quality voice and can play an instrument. Most of today’s artists can barely carry a tune so when people hear someone with more talent than most they go crazy.
@Panama Jackson,
I think Alicia is genuinely talented… all around. She was also great in the secret life of bees.
@pgh muse,
Yes she was!
@Panama Jackson, cosign w/da whole a keys statement, she got a horrible case of tragic mullatto 2, she b steady trying to play it off all the time, I personally think she should b da poster child for tragic mullattos errywhere!!
@badyellabroad,
welcome and sh*t
@The Champ,
thankyou kind sir
I do have to say that as a “mulatto” (i aint no mulatto Im black damnit). I do not think that ALL mixed folks have a hang up about it, in my personal opinion the ones that do would have a problem w/themselves no matter what race they were. To me the whole being mixed was hard and i didnt know who 2 play w/is a muhfuhkin copout. I wouldnt give a good gotdam* if yo black arse or your white arse wanted 2 fuc* w/me or not. its not a case of ur skin color its a case of not being comfortable w/who u r period. if these people were another color, not mixed i mean, then they would still find sumtin to b dissatissfied w/about themselves. Ive always found it funny how sum say it held them back they didnt know which way 2 go, I think i got the best of both worlds in a way, does that make sense?
As far as the post stating that mixed kids r black…dat is just tru, if they cum bak and draw a line now i wouldn’t b allowed to go stand ova there w/my momma but I’d b allowed to go stand on da otha side w/my dad!!! O, I did get da dumb white girls asking 2 touch my hair though….bytch I wish da phuck u would!! LOL
@badyellabroad,
bwahhahaah
How you gone start wit “Thank you kind sir” all civil and sh*t, but end wit “bytch I was da phuck u would.” That mess had me dyin.
@badyellabroad, i’m gonna make that my mood on facebook. “charli skipper is feeling like ‘bytch i wish the phuck you would.’” lol. that made my day.
@Luvvie, Alisha
Those big legs in fishnets when she was in “Smokin Aces”?!!?!?!?!
Yes lawd!
@Swamii,
Those big legs in fishnets when she was in “Smokin Aces”?!!?!?!?!
Yes lawd!
yea. she, ummmm, “impressed” me in that flick
@Luvvie, I will throat punch Mariah if I can get past security. Maybe then, she’ll realize her real age.
@Nicki Sunshine,
::applause::
Kudos to you ms. sunshine…lol
@miss t-lee, [bows]
Thank you, thank you. smooches!
@Luvvie,
Alls I know is that one of my favorite untragic mulatto is Angela Nissel. She wrote on my wall on MySpace CTFU after I told her I saw her tonguing someone down on “Scrubs” and it is STILL the highlight of my 2008.
she gave me a happy birthday email and comment on my myspace page (before it was destroyed), and that was easily one of the top six moments of my life
@
weird enough in a class tonight i saw a kid who i had not noticed all semester. he was presenting to us and i realized, i think this sucka is black! but then the more and more he spoke, i realized his koolaid was really watered down. he had a SLIGHT tan and a lil curly hair and then the green eyes, but his features don’t lie.
i know his daddy name dante and he grumma named clementine.
@jana.love,
“i know his daddy name dante and he grumma named clementine.”
LMAO Jana! And his Mom’s name is SueBeth Ann Rosewood.
@jana.love, don’t you just hate it when ninjas sneak up on you?
@SouthernGirl,
it’s a damn shame. but i think the worst is that usually whenever i have a class with another blk person ( i don’t think there’s been more than 2 in my major classes). we usually give eachother a nod on the first day. just a good ol “wassup sista/brutha” kinda nod.
but since i didn’t point this one out, i didn’t get one! i don’t even think he wouldve understood it!!
@jana.love, ain’t no shame. it was the same way in my grad program. there were 4 of us in my year and we banded together (though one chick had to go cause she was certifiable). there were 4 girls in the class before us and they took us on and it’s like a tradition. the old people take on/introduce/have potluck whatever for the new kids and give the lay of the land.
sadness at the fact that he probably wouldn’t have gotten the head nod. i heard dl hughley on the tom joyner morning show one morning talking about how we as black people have so many shared experiences, regardless of where we grew up and it’s so true. he had me cracking up cause every example he threw out there, was something that i could relate to. it makes me a little sad when some people can’t share or relate things like that.
@SouthernGirl, Well can we bond over how horrible DL’s show on CNN is? lol. But seriously, did he have to explain himself to Tom for that?
@charli skipper, “DL’s show on CNN is?”
i LOVE that show….its really offbeat but somehow still relevant. I liked when he had the rabbi on talking about kosher sutra..i thought that was an interesting little segment.
and the grandmaster flash performance was hotness..**ignant comment***i thought they were all somewhere drinking metamucil out a straw.
@Princess Duvet, they WERE drinking metamucil out a straw, until performance time.
@charli skipper,
agreed, DL’s show is bad. I was mad at him for using material that I had already seen on both Def Comedy Jam AND his HBO special.
Ohhhh lest we forget that we learned DL used be a Blood too! Word to Soledad O’Brien.
@Cornell Westside, “agreed, DL’s show is bad. I was mad at him for using material that I had already seen on both Def Comedy Jam AND his HBO special. ”
some of us here use the same dam@n jokes ..i think the format warrants some “reappropriation”..the show isn’t ReALLY about standup. Funny things do come up..but i think CNN with DL did something very brave. and i guess black people don’t like what they can’t catagorize….similiar to our feelings on the subject matter today.
@Princess Duvet,
i guess black people don’t like what they can’t catagorize
I think it’s true for most people. It’s that need to categorize that will kill us all…
@Cornell Westside,
I totally agree about the DL show. I wanted to like it so badly!!!! It is unwatchable though. He’s just waiting to insert his used up lines into each & every interview.
@charli skipper, honestly, i’ve only seen it once and it was only his intro and i was not that impressed and wound up watching something else. i said i was gonna give it another chance and actually watch him interact with the guests but i haven’t gotten around to it yet…
@SouthernGirl,
Apparently I’m not missing much. I knew he had a show only from the promos on cnn.com…lol
@SouthernGirl,
you know, i honestly think that my rayraydar (the black equiv of “gaydar”) is impeccable. i can spot the negro in anybody, and ive always seemed to be one step ahead of most other people in that regard.
this is one of those personal skills that probably would have made me a millionaire in the 1890′s, but is useless now
@The Champ, lol@rayraydar. i don’t have much of a problem with it either but i also just don’t think about it that much until someone else makes it an issue. growing up in new orleans you pretty much just look at people, classify ‘em and keep it moving.
@The Champ, “this is one of those personal skills that probably would have made me a millionaire in the 1890’s, but is useless now”
LMAO! I always say I can spot the one drop in anyone, but what is the point now? I will say though, I met some of the passingest (i know) folks this Thanksgiving. My friend who really does have a whole lotta Indian (feather) in her has some aunts who I wanted to send to Henry Louis Gates Jr. They looked WHITE, straight up.
OMG you prove more and more each day to be my e-twin. i use the “dot” and “feather” distinctions when using the term “indian” as well!! *e-hug*
@jana.love,
Hey whatchu know about Clementine?
That’s my mama’s name….
Hilarious!
well, im Blackedy-Black and i love me some Vision of Love-era Mariah!! i dont know how the hell one goes from being able to sing like that to what she has become, but i can always go back to simpler times…
@shatani, I love old school mariah..but when she started to wear that same lycra dress every where she lost her dayum mind… I like my mariah in a body suit that snaps between the legs, tight stone wash denim doing the running man… someday…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylNKZE62LCo
@shay-d-lady,
“I like my mariah in a body suit that snaps between the legs, tight stone wash denim doing the running man… someday…”
Mariah STAYED camel-toed up in the early 90s. lol Po’ thang’s print was plastered across the walls of men everywhere.
@Luvvie, Yes she did.. smh…and then she got divorced..did a remix with Mase and it was over.. LOL yall blame jim jones but Mase was evil as well he took Mariah and Brandi out the game.. but the players way and that why you over there looking at me are still classics…..
@shatani, i lurrrrrrve mariah. new school mariah always gets a pass because she scored so high when she was old school mariah. i’m not even mad at the mini-skirts or nick cannon. i just turn up “always be my baby” and say “that’s my girl!” lol.
@shatani,
Yeah…that good Mariah is gone, just like the 90′s.
Can’t even sing live anymore…dayum shame.
*cues up “Fantasy (remix) with ODB*
I often wondered this as well..the tragic mixed kid where I grew up being mixed gave you a free pass especially if you have “good” hair and light eyes…the only times it didnt work in your favor was the mixed kid that got the unfavorable features.. the big nose.. “nappy” hair, bad skin…..and even then them ninjas would still get some play…
not to be a wet blanket but I guess as an adult I understand how it is tragic. They are forced by society to only identify as one side of who they are, while they see the privilage attached to the other side ..trying to get the best of both worlds and getting caught up in the middle.. but hey we all got problems and being an a$$hole never helps.. and a lot of those “tragic” chicks and dycks be on some holier than thou bullshyt….
@shay-d-lady, eh.maybe this whole post is wet-blanket inducing. i can only imagine.it seems to be a combination of how you present yourself and how people are going to see you anyway.
@SouthernGirl, “it seems to be a combination of how you present yourself and how people are going to see you anyway.
”
i totally agree with this. An @zzhole is an @zzhole you can’t really tie a sweater over that. (that actually sounded dope girl fresh in my head..lol..time for bed.)
@Princess Duvet, “An @zzhole is an @zzhole you can’t really tie a sweater over that”
Maybe I need to go to bed too because I thought it was dope.
@Princess Duvet,
dope girl fresh?
someone has been listening to Juicy J
@shay-d-lady,
i need some clarity here:
am i imagining things or did you not only respond to your own comment, but rebuke yourself?
@The Champ, man i was wondrin’ the same thing.
@The Champ, yeah.. I dont know what it is.. LMAO momentary empathetic lapse…. wont happen again…
@shay-d-lady,
lol, no…please. do it again. it was entertaining
@shay-d-lady,
They are forced by society to only identify as one side of who they are
And that to me is the real problem… WHY should they have to choose? To please society?
They are mixed and that’s a fact.
true dat. word.
LOL off topic but I watched the movie “soulman” the other day with C Thomas Howell.. that shyt is offensive as h.ell LMAO but that use to be my shyt back in the day.. and to think we got all up in arms about soul plane…….
@shay-d-lady, why was i thinking about this movie the other day and thinking the exact same thing!
@SouthernGirl,
oh yeah! rae dawn shoulda smacked somebody cross the face when they asked her to be in that farce….but yeah, when i was a kid i thought it was hilarious.
you should check out that episode of 30 rock where tracey morgan becomes a white woman (hilarity!) and jane krakow becomes a black man…i wonder if 20 years from now i iwll look back on that episode and be like, “that ish was so offensive but i LOVED it!”
@shatani, lol. that’s been happening to me a lot lately. looking back on stuff from my childhood like, wtf?
i wonder what rae dawn is up to nowadays? but i guess the whole ‘a check is a check’ mentality is not new…maybe she convinced herself that it had redeeming moral qualities about racial issues since he got over himself in the end?
@shatani,
“oh yeah! rae dawn shoulda smacked somebody cross the face when they asked her to be in that farce….but yeah, when i was a kid i thought it was hilarious.”
You know she was dating C.Thomas Howell at the time…that’s probably why she let it pass…lmao
I’m sure she had a mortgage payment as well.
@shay-d-lady,
Yeah Soul Man was madd offensive. I wonder how that ish got green lighted?oh yeah, money talks, nevermind…lol
@miss t-lee, you know, i don’t see how anybody can find Soul man offensive when a good 90 percent of us LOVE Coming To America, possibly the most offensive (and bestest and hilariousest) movie ever created.
that movie was one LONG ASS stereotype. now, it is one of my favorite movies and will always be, but if Soul Man is bad then CTA is next level.
@Panama Jackson, ya know, if we’re comparing soul man to CTA, i think this can all go back (wrong or not) to the ‘we can but you can’t’ conversation.
i love CTA too but i don’t know if would say it’s next level. but then again i haven’t seen soul man in ages. i just know i thought about that movie the other day and just realized how much i DIDN’T realize was going on at the time.
@Panama Jackson,
Exactly.
Stereotypes work in movies because they can be considered as satyre.
Satyre works.
@Panama Jackson, CTA
Yep, PJ, a favorite. Even my kids get it.
@Panama Jackson,
I see your point. I guess it’s just a bit different in my head when it’s coming from Black folks, about Black folks (CTA) as opposed to Soul Man which I’m guessing was coming from the 2520 perspective.
Sigh…another post about “Mixtie-ness”. PeeJay, you working out personal shyt on this blog, man. Like Prince in “Purple Rain”.
I don’t care nothing about the mixties. They’re just people. I got REAL Black problems!
My car is in an eff’d up situation.
My Hand-Holder is perpetually ashy.
I work entirely TOO close w/2520s.
I am all out of red kool-aid.
I have high blood pressure, and my cable is borderline bootleg.
Do I sound like I have room to care about some crying ass mulatto lamenting his/her “sad lot in life”, getting an automatic pass due to lightskinned/curly haired points?? I should have such problems.
@PBG, hilarious!
@charli skipper,
im dyin!! i thought i was the only one…i thought i was being insensitive to the plight of the mixeded folk. cuz i surely dont care either! i guess i dont know any mixties who had identity crises…
lets talk about tragic grad students!
@shatani, lets talk about tragic grad students!
lol. let’s not. well, since i’m out of that period now, maybe its okay.
re: let’s not.
exactly!! i’m like failing at grad life right now. i need many months of therapy to cope with my mid-grad-life crisis. vsb may not be enuff lol.
@Gem of the Ocean, you can do it girl! i never worked that hard in my life (yet) but you’ll get through it. vsb and glittery emails to BBJ (brown baby jesus) should lessen the strain. lol. *gold stars*
thanks, SG. like you really lifted my e-spirit with this comment. i e-<3 you and feel encouraged to keep on moving. hallelujah, thank ya BBJ!! *tambourine*
@Gem, yay!!!! glad to help. *joins tambourine shake*
@SouthernGirl,
awww, i needed this tonight…sittin in a bar talking with my supervisor about the lack of movement on my dissertation…depressing! luckily i wasnt drinking…
@PBG, Whoosah… girl I feel ya…let me add to that I tragically over spent on black friday and now I am sitting here sad and remorseful with shiny new pot sets and no food to cook in well I guess I will be warm in my old navy fleece eating pbj and toaster waffles………
@Shay-d-lady,
Mmmm…toaster waffles.
You can keep that “pbj”…nastiness!
@PBG,
peanut butter girl, dont hate! lmao
@PBG, You’re one of my favorite people in the blogging world right now.lol.
@Slim Jackson,
thanks, Slim. how nice of you to say. i’d offer you some red kool-aid if i had any left.
@PBG,
This is why I STAN for my PeeBeeGee! LMAO!
@Luvvie,
she a-ight, nuffin to call da crib about….. meh.
…. i kid the pbg, kinda…..
@PBG, ok! tell em why you mad! I just don’t have the sympathy, unless I know the person individually.
DO NOT even get me started on Mariah’s Hello Kitty lovin dumb a$$, I DESPISE Hello Kitty, and…(breathe,overit breathe) she has a whole Hello Kitty ROOM in her house. A whole room! For who,what,when,where,WHY?
http://img81.imageshack.us/img81/5646/mariah1pw5.jpg
She could never explain this to me.
Being able to sang does not give you a pass to commit such offenses.
*humming “Always Be My Baby*
@overit, hello kitty “room”…. is her version of the rich person’s “indulgence”. Im not understanding why people hate her so.
Chick had a nervous breakdown several years ago…i mean can she have her little escapes?
What if we knew Oprah had a room of antebellum hand made dolls or Janet had a room of betty boop stuff?? It probably doesn’t bother most. But people have this unexplainable hate for a woman really could have passed in the industry, and kinda did in her early life.
but came to identify with both later in her career. Why does that bother black people so much?
@Princess Duvet, I’m not too concerned with how she indentifies racially, like Panama said, her family failed to equip her with proper confidence (in any race) and so she just ended up trying to “find herself”. That’s fine with, that still doesn’t explain her other antics and general airheadedness, oh well. I love her music.
@Princess Duvet,
i like Mariah…
@overit,
Girl, you just have to realize that the M Diva is plumb crazy. Just enjoy her twitters and hope she doesn’t take a turn for the worse (back to TRL in booty shorts and a tank for no dayum reason).
PBG – Girl….this is why I flucks with you. No time to entertain the musings of the tragic mulatto. You’s nigra – keep it movin’!
@overit, lol. ok, let’s leave hello kitty out of this. i like HK but i was giving her the side eye over hello kitty room. i limit myself to stuff i can actually use like contact holders and aluminum water bottles since i’m trying to do my part for the environment and all…
@SouthernGirl, LOL do you, it was the whole Hello Kitty room plus the pink carpet that proved to be an eyesore for me. I used to work with an asian girl who had Hello Kitty EVERYTHING. She was really annoying, so I think there is a connection here lol. It just brings back bad memories.
@PBG,
lol…how can anything be “borderline” bootleg”?
@The Champ,
aaahahahaha
I remember one of my sophomore years in college. I moved into a 4 bdrm town house w/ some homies on this cul de sac. We decided to get cable. So the dude comes out right and the hook up is on the ground not up on a pole. Well he must have seen all the illegal hook ups n started disconnecting. One by one someone of my neighbors peaked out of they house n started looking like the was gonna kill somebody. Later during a block party some body said yo the Jamaican bwyoy ovuh dhere got the tool from his cousin and can hooks that shyt up. So being broke college guys we had that shyt cut off. but this time we stayed outside to watch our neighbors get pissed about it all. lol too funny.
@PBG,
“Sigh…another post about “Mixtie-ness”. PeeJay, you working out personal shyt on this blog, man.”
actually, i’m not. but given what i planned on upping tomorrow, i think its appropos.
“I don’t care nothing about the mixties.”
but man, who pissed in your wheaties?
@Panama Jackson,
Actually homie. I think you have a great handle on it. I mean you present you well. Concidering it can make most verclempt to present their awsome. Like testifying n shyt.
Yall pray my screnf in the Lord.
@Panama Jackson,
My generic maple brown sugar oatmeal was piss-free this morning, thanks for asking, PeeJay.
@PBG,
I guess PJs panda-ring didn’t work on you. . .
@PBG,
e-boo ya killin me.
We can put some duct tape on the car, a double dose of lotion on your hand to spread it to your hand holder, take a trip to the watering hole for a bout 25 35 40 min cuz I gots to see this hood rich cable, make some sweet tea, I hear regular cardio is good for the hypertension *cue the S.O.S. Band*.
but 4 reals say hi to my bottle of 9 year old bourbon. It convinces me it goes w/ everything, in the syrup that goes on my toaster waffle, in the whipped cream, in tea, or with falafel. (alcohol is a natural diuretic as is the caffeine in tea hopefully this will help the hypertension). How in the sam Hades is the cable bordering bootleg… you know what I don’t even want to know. Lets pull out the olive/holy oil for the hand holder, pray they learn to love they skin. For reals lets take a walk in the hood (don’t worry I’m w/ you n nobody messes w/ a big black bro walkin down the street). b4 you know it we’ll be @ the park watchin bogart. N who will need a car then. + you can count the walk as some cardio (trust me I know as a bro who walked to school from kindergarten through college. It can keep you healthy).
*walking off rambling* don’t make no sense sugar no kool aid, somebody get that ashy somebody some 7oil, put that public enemy in the ipod’s rotation.
@WuDaMan,
My head hurts.
@miss t-lee,
I’m sorry I got xcited n shyt.
*shrugging shoulders slight gas face*
@WuDaMan,
You gotta be you…don’t apologize…lol
@miss t-lee,
don’t tell me what to do. Lets boogie. my bad. lol
@WuDaMan,
You tryna get mollywhopped ain’t ya?
@miss t-lee,
is that anything like the squirl? If so yes. My blood sugar is low. But I wonder if gluconeogenesis has started already.
i LOVE this entire remedy/solution-oriented comment and understood every last word. you are the shiznit.
@Gem of the Ocean,
Pretty good hunh..*wink* Who’s keeping it hood?!
*cues Kellis* lets dance
Sing it Gemy
I’m Bossie
Just throw ya hands in the air
*doing the Ed Lover*
sorry boo, i’m on my thug game today, so no dancing.
@Gem of the Ocean,
excuse me babe let me clear my throat. *mouthing I can’t hear you* *signing the music is too loud* *blairing music*
@WuDaMan, dang I go away for a second and come back adn I still SPEAK WUDA!!! YAYEE YAYEE..cut “lotion” and paste “vaseline cocoa butter oil gel” and you have a winner….GOOD one WU-WU!
@GOODENess,
What up Grrrl! Come get some of this boogie. SHAKE IT FAST!
@WuDaMan,
If I even began to tell the story of my borderline bootleg cable, you wouldn’t believe it.
And *sniff*, I haven’t seen Bogart @ The Park anymore since that day he got sick out there. I still pray for that puppy.
“Sigh…another post about “Mixtie-ness”. PeeJay, you working out personal shyt on this blog, man. Like Prince in “Purple Rain”.”
this is what i was thinkin..maybe its cathartic and what nots.
namaste P-fiddy
@Princess Duvet,
I’m just saying…I’m tired of them making their issue all of our issue. Get thee to a dayum therapist and get over yourselves, Mixties! I side eye a few of my mixtie friends…they seem kinda janky.
I have one in particular that was raised by her white mama and I think her wholehearted delve into black culture was some sort of teenage rebellion she never really shook. I honestly think she hangs out w/me because I’m the blackest person she knows and somehow, some of it will rub off. *sigh* There isn’t enough transferable moxie on the planet to eradicate that wide streak of passive white woman she has in her. The same streak that’s gonna mess around and get her the business end of my tiny fist one day. *eyeroll*
@PBG, “I’m just saying…I’m tired of them making their issue all of our issue. Get thee to a dayum therapist and get over yourselves, Mixties! I side eye a few of my mixtie friends…they seem kinda janky”
did you steal my wet duvet? lol..im torn here. I believe everybody’s got something to get over.
And sometimes you’re stuck in the middle and the pain is thunder….
umm..(this should prolly be my last post for the night LOL)
@Princess Duvet,
you’re a vegetable?
@Jeandra, “you’re a vegetable?”
seriously i always considered myself a buffet.
anywhoo…i believe in me so you believe in you.. Ma Ma Se, Ma Ma Sa, Ma Ma Coo Sa…
@Princess Duvet,
Everybody does, La Princesa…but who cares about my regular old Black stuff but me? My issues aren’t exotic enough to warrant a whole blog post anywhere but on my personal spot. Perhaps if I were cafe au lait instead of milk chocolate, I could get some air time. Not that that’s ever been my goal here @ VSB or in any other blog. I’m just sayin’.
Until then, I’ll continue having my sit-downs w/the NiceDoctorLady.
@PBG, “Until then, I’ll continue having my sit-downs w/the NiceDoctorLady.”
oh Pretty Young Thang…if mental health was that cool in the black community..i wouldn’t have been subjected to an hour long of rude Donny Hathaway awakenings on tv one a couple of hours ago.
@Princess Duvet,
im trying to turn it around…black folks lets go to therapy!! woohoo! yeah! mental health, snitches!!
@shatani, im tryna incorporate fengshui, reiki and meditation in that piece..but err aaa its a tough sell for a “real” clinical program LOL..
but as blogs get black folks closer to discussing our “issues” all the better…tho..
but yeah final destination is therapy …but it still comes with mad stigma.
@shatani,
i know…it makes me very sad.
i was so hard into feng shui when i was in highschool…that was fun times!
and whatchu mean “clinical program”…i aint tryin to get you involuntarily committed, girl! lmao…no padded rooms…you dont even have to lay on the couch.
@shatani, ““clinical program”…
Clinical Psychology
@shatani,
oooh, do tell about the complimentary alternatives!
@shatani, “do tell about the complimentary alternatives!”
im scared LOL…and you not ready. lol
@PBG,
“My issues aren’t exotic enough to warrant a whole blog post anywhere but on my personal spot. Perhaps if I were cafe au lait instead of milk chocolate, I could get some air time. Not that that’s ever been my goal here @ VSB or in any other blog. I’m just sayin’.”
Hmm, PBG, you may have just earned a spot in the “SAT DOWN” corner.
@Luvvie,
Yes, I will go SAT DOWN. One minute for each one of my years.
Then I will go over to the Prayer Cubicle and email BrownBabyJesus and ask Him to calm my soul and my feisty typing fingers.
@PBG, yeah the only post we get is angry black women, hmmm, and ya wonder why we so mad…. lol
@PBG, “Yes, I will go SAT DOWN. One minute for each one of my years. ”
i actually think its all good…everybody’s something is what in my opinion makes us interesting and authentic…anything less to me warrants a “come to Jesus” and a sat down.
I also agree with Alise..”ABW’s” somehow just ain’t sexxay enough for us to all feel sorry for or make it to the cover of Time.
@PBG,
can we have a milk chocolate angry non-smiling group hug??
lmao! i e-love you chicks!
@PBG, but I like your feisty typing fingers, makes me feel like i’m not alone
@PBG,
“My issues aren’t exotic enough to warrant a whole blog post anywhere but on my personal spot. Perhaps if I were cafe au lait instead of milk chocolate, I could get some air time. Not that that’s ever been my goal here @ VSB or in any other blog. I’m just sayin’.”
you feel neglected, hmm? we only give air time to light skinned chicks? we don’t spend enough time talking about how f*cked up dark skinned chicks are too??
@Panama Jackson,
you feel neglected, hmm? we only give air time to light skinned chicks? we don’t spend enough time talking about how f*cked up dark skinned chicks are too??
smh. we can’t win for losing.
@Panama Jackson,
If you don’t spend enough time doggin’ out dark-skinned chicks, I’m sure you will now. I’m glad to contribute to the cause.
Oh.So.Glad.
@PBG, i’m kind of wondering why all the hostility, myself.
@Panama Jackson,
Me three, me three.
As everybody seem to agree, they are black people too.. No?
So, this forum is a good one to talk about it.
@Panama Jackson, or whoever…
Somebody remind me not to ever speak again on my disdain for the “Mixties’ Plight”.
@PBG,
awwww! e-hug! im empathetic to your pretty brown plight!
@shatani,
I don’t have a plight. I have therapy, purpose and a mission.
It’s all good in the PBG ‘hood, and getting better.
@Princess Duvet, not exactly sure what issues you all think I’m trying to work out…lol…but its not cathartic, trust me.
however, the point of the post was kind of what PBG is insinuating, get over it…you’re Black…accept it…what that has to do with me necessarily, i’m not sure, since in the same post, i said that i don’t have that problem b/c i know i’m Black.
@Panama Jackson, P-Fiddy you don’t think that people speak to and through their blogs..when i read passion..i rarely read people writing for others as much as they are THEMSELVES.
thats just how it is. obviously being of mixed race affected you. And it is apart of your subject matter. i write about duvet’s, shams and do-overs. its just apart of who you are.
Additionally tho when you are able to evoke something in someone ..i think you’ve succeeded…even the “where did that come from”.
PBG’s feelings are valid. black women sometimes rarely get the luxury of contemplation and then having people want to actually talk about it…with a certain level of sincerity.
it gets the ABW stamp and you keep it movin. the end. havin real black woman issues isn’t always whats hot in the streets. that is all.
@Princess Duvet,
PBG’s feelings are valid. black women sometimes rarely get the luxury of contemplation and then having people want to actually talk about it…with a certain level of sincerity.
it gets the ABW stamp and you keep it movin. the end. havin real black woman issues isn’t always whats hot in the streets. that is all.
thing is, a comment like pbg’s insinuates that we don’t cover all ends of the spectrum, and that we spend an disproportional amount of time talking about mixed/lightskinned issues…which is far from the truth
@The Champ,
“thing is, a comment like pbg’s insinuates that we don’t cover all ends of the spectrum”
i honestly think you both do, and Im not sure if i took that entirely from PBG’s comment. but let’s be kind of real. Black men know very little about what its like to be black women..even from your very self-aware black male perspective selves.
i didn’t take her comments as a personal indictment as much as her (and my own) personal reflection.
@Princess Duvet, and hopefully when PBG gets back from the prayer circle we can get her thoughts on the matter.
@Princess Duvet,
“i honestly think you both do, and Im not sure if i took that entirely from PBG’s comment. but let’s be kind of real. Black men know very little about what its like to be black women..even from your very self-aware black male perspective selves.”
now this i agree with, however, her comment was like maybe if she was cafe au lait as opposed to dark chocolate she’d get some airtime…which assumes that we should be the ones doing what we clearly can’t do. thats why we have personal blogs, right?
maybe i’m reading this wrong…but if i can’t properly speak on it, why should i?
@Panama Jackson, “cafe au lait as opposed to dark chocolate she’d get some airtime…”
im not deepak chopra YET…lol..but maybe we all need to bring some form of detachment to what we read and write
but thats tough cause people ARE what they write and THINK..and if they aren’t..well they bore me.
so not sure what the answer is here. P’ster.
@Princess Duvet, oh i’m aware that people speak thru their blogs. thats fair. but let me add this, being of mixed race hasn’t really affected me much in life (though that could be my parents design). i was raised Black (by my black mother and father) so i never really questioned it. and it never came up cuz im from the South where everybody just asssumes color = Black anyway.
but the issue is this, being dismissive of an entire group of people on some, “them ninjas again, they ain’t got real Black problems” seems hostile for no reason…
@Panama Jackson,
“being of mixed race hasn’t really affected me much in life”
ummm…ok. we’ll go with that.
“but the issue is this, being dismissive of an entire group of people on some, “them ninjas again, they ain’t got real Black problems” seems hostile for no reason…”
Well P-Fiddy i heart you all..let us not forget that we’ve ALL been on the hot seat here for various reasons…people “bring things with them” wherever they go. That IS in what you write, what you say and how you respond.
**looking for my own shrink to figure out why i gotta fight errybody;s battles LOL**
@Princess Duvet,
““being of mixed race hasn’t really affected me much in life”
ummm…ok. we’ll go with that.”
just in case i’m accurately reading your tone as one of “okay, if you want to believe that then go on ahead poorlittle confused boy” – that’s why i put in those parentheses that it may have been by my parents design. my white mother sent me to my father at a young age b/c in her words, she could not raise a black man. my point there was that from an early age, all i kept hearing was that you’re black, you’re black. and i was raised that way. it never occurred to me to examine my “whiteness” mostly b/c i’m not sure how. now maybe my parents were trying to shield me from confusion early on in which case i applaud them for that. i love my white side…unfortunately, they’re largely the only white people i’ve ever really been around, and even then i didnt grow up with them…
@Panama Jackson,
“just in case i’m accurately reading your tone as one of “okay, if you want to believe that then go on ahead poorlittle confused boy” -”
see
i think this is SOOOO dangerous
…i don’t think you are confused AT ALL..but if i can be honest..i don’t not not (yes not not) think it hasn’t really affected you.
what is wrong with being affected by something. We know you and the Champ are like gansta’s kickin turtles, waffles and squirrels…but you are one of the ONLY black men on the net talking about seriously non-pimp shyt and thats why i read. **i know im about to offend some black men writers. But I am reallly tired of reading different iterations of fwb, how you mack, how you’re not really a mack, how your a part-time mack..i mean im just sick of it LOL**
don’t change…
well thanks…and i appreciate the honesty. i dont think there’s anything wrong with being affected…you’re absolutely right about that.
my point is that i never grew up “mixed”. from a wee tyke i was told i was black and at that age you don’t question and i grew into a man who understood his mother was white but still understood i was black.
you know what, i guess i’m beating a dead horse b/c you understand that, and you are right…perhaps subconsciously it has affected me and i should delve more into that…
I just want to jump in and say this was a really good exchange…..
I just want to jump in and say this was a really good exchange…..
doing orgy’s, this phrase is usually a pretty good icebreaker
@shay-d-lady,
Ditto!
@Panama Jackson, um……so is we still gonna talk about rain pryor?
i was looking so forward to that. lol
@charli skipper,
LOL
I guess you kinda made this point, but this is only as big an issue as the mixed/mulatto person makes it to me. Once I notice someone is mixed/racially ambiguous, I just shrug my shoulders and go back to life as usual. Most of the mixed folks I know identify heavily with being Black.
@Slim Jackson, “Most of the mixed folks I know identify heavily with being Black.”
Most of the time, this is the case. Sometimes, I meet people who identify with both sides, but there was only one time where I met mixed kids who identified with being white. There were a set of twins that I grew up with who said that they were white. They were adopted by a set of white parents when they were babies and had white features, except for their hair. My best friend and I were the only black kids in the class & we knew that they were mixed, but the other kids didn’t realize.
@Slim Jackson,
you know what, i really think that a mixed person’s “racial identity” is usually defined by the type of people that are attracted to them…not vice versa. like, if a little mixed boy is getting love from the tiny sisters and not the small snizzles, he’ll start to internalize it and identify more with his blackness.
i feel like this is a groundbreaking theory
let us not forget that population of mixed kids who wear their swirlness as a badge of honor and how dare us regular black folx look at them as anything less than the ideal.
“mixed kids are ALWAYS cute”
- not true, what happend to Rain Pryor?
“mixed kids have good hair”
-then why is never combed sufficiently?
in honor of this topic, I will watch:
Queen
Mississippi Masala
Jungle Fever
Do the right thing
Training Day
The Crying Game (oops wrong mix)
@Jeandra, “let us not forget that population of mixed kids who wear their swirlness as a badge of honor and how dare us regular black folx look at them as anything less than the ideal.”
how much tho of this is what “mixed kids” ACTUALLY do as opposed to unresolved issues some have about their own blackness and its associated beauty?
@Jeandra, Panama needs to do a whole topic on Rain Pryor.
@charli skipper,
I’ll be sure to pack my depends on that day. I have a feeling i’ll need them.
@charli skipper,
Nobody needs to do a whole topic on that square jawed chick. Lookin’ just like a female Lurch.
@charli skipper,
Rain Pryor is scary @ me!!!
@Luvvie,
awww, she aint so bad!!! lmao! poor rain…
i like to remind folk about how wrong mulatto is capable of going…caramel colored, overly freckled, rusty red/brown-haired wrongness…i seent it. and she thought she was the shiznit!
shoot, i will take my little chocolate babies thank you.
@shatani, “awww, she aint so bad!!! lmao! poor rain…”
i agree..dis is a tough crowd LOL. but i seen a couple of cute pictures of her.
besides umm “100%” black folk can’t come out looking rather interesting ??
@shatani, LOL i am a freckle faced mullatto myself so dat was funny 2 me, however I get my freckles from my black folk, aint a single one of my white kinfolk got a freckle, all da black ones is freckle faced!!
Da scary thing w/mixed kids is either they cute or …u f’d up and got a lil ugly mixture going on!
@shatani, u said.. shoot, i will take my little chocolate babies thank you
…damnit I want lil choclate babies 2! My bro got kids w/white girls and my sis got kids w/a black dude. ..dem kids is all kinda diff colors, funny thing is my bro kids is browner than my sis kids. U could mess around and have u a lil high yella baby guhl!!! LOL
@charli skipper, “Panama needs to do a whole topic on Rain Pryor.”
ouch, but ouch so true. lol.
@Jeandra,
Rain Pryor looks like a cross between Red from “Fraggle Rock”, Bert, & Ernie with a wool cap on.
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
I was thinking more of fraggle and arsenio
@Relax, Relate, Alise, PBG, and Jeandra:
yall know you think that girl is cute. lol
@charli skipper,
No sucha thang…
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
“Rain Pryor looks like a cross between Red from “Fraggle Rock”, Bert, & Ernie with a wool cap on.”
LMAO!!! I pretty much need you to call Austin&Royster’s and make them funegro arrangements. You dumb AS a crooked pinky toe.
At my funegro, I demand that my posse act a plum fool. Enough to get escorted out the premises. And I ain’t playing. You MUST wear polyester blend. Yall gon be some itchy *sses!
@Luvvie,
can i fling myself on your casket and threaten to go with you into the ground?
@shatani, you are stoopid! LOL, but yes, I think Luvvie would want that.
@overit,
we can consider VSB her living will.
@shatani,
whooo… i cackled at this one!
@Jeandra,
“mixed kids are ALWAYS cute”
- not true, what happend to Rain Pryor?”
Wow….just wow….
*crying*
@Jeandra,
“mixed kids are ALWAYS cute”
- not true, what happend to Rain Pryor?
“mixed kids have good hair”
-then why is never combed sufficiently?
LMAO…this inspired me to Google Rain Pryor…why does it look like her chin is running away from her spine?
@Cornell Westside,
“mixed kids have good hair”
-then why is never combed sufficiently?
don’t say never. my mama learned how to braid at an early age. I have older sisters, so by the time i came around, she had it down. i always looked cute with my long braids.
but i have seen many a mixed child with unkept hair… i think this is because the mother thinks it’s cute. there is nothing cute about your hair turning into one collective dreadlock. individual ones… cool. but one big one??? no bueno.
@laylah,
I think some mixed children have unkempt hair because in some cases their mothers don’t know what to do with it. These women just need to take the time to learn to work with a different hair texture. I grew up around alot of mixed children and their mother’s used to stop my mom and ask if she could do their child’s hair (my hair was always on point…straight parts and ALWAYS shiny!). They’d say things like “I just don’t know what to do with her kind of hair. Do you think you could braid it or something?”
@Cornell Westside,
you are like the other side of my brain on this one. I too googled her. Her chin is quite… prominent.
she’s a dead ringer for her daddy
(ooooooh, that was in poor taste, wasn’t it?)
@blackberry molasses,
She’s a handsome woman.
*snickering*
@miss t-lee,
hahahaha! this is one of my favorite insults! but fact of the matter is…what looks decent on a man may not look so much on a woman.
case in point, i know these twins….they literally look just alike. thats great for the boy twin and terrible for the girl twin! lmao…she look like her brother with a bad wig. not. cute.
@Jeandra,
training day?
@The Champ,
i needed space filler for the flow of the sentence. Denzel had a secret baby with the latin girl living in the jungles.
@Jeandra,
ah yes. who could ever forget eva mendez, and eva mendez’s n*pples
@The Champ,
which brings us back to “do the right thing”
thank God for the left nipple, Thank god for the right.
I think its segmented as with any group of people with similarities. There are those who detest their heritage and those who embrace and another section who think it makes them superior. I’m sure there are even more sub categories but due to the recession I was only able to interview a few before my comment.
@Jeandra,
I think its segmented as with any group of people with similarities. There are those who detest their heritage and those who embrace and another section who think it makes them superior
this is true, but, like everything else, it seems to be exaggerated with us
@The Champ,
this topic will always speak to what is engrained in us as black people dating back from slavery.
We are all mixed due to the diaspora. not all of us are bi racial.
i’ve always found it to be an interesting topic and judging by the responses, it’s still a very sensitive issue to people who are not bi-racial and clearly discussion worthy.
The only problem I had with mixed kids when we were growin up was that most of em tried too hard one way or the other; like they all had identity crises. I used to run wit this girl called Deseane; half black, half Spanish.
Deseane around black folks: What up, yo?
Deseane around latinos: Que paso?
Me around Deseane in said situations: Wtf???
In each situation she was extra toward whichever culture she was currently courting. Just never made any damn sense to me. Wit most of the mixed kids over the years, I found them to be the same way. I used to always think, “Damn why can’t s/he just be him/herself?” But in retrospect, I guess they didn’t know exactly who they were; not because of their parents, but because of society and their own weak minds.
@RedBeanzNRice,
The only problem I had with mixed kids when we were growin up was that most of em tried too hard one way or the other; like they all had identity crises.
to your point, it does seem like many of the most militant blacks are lighter-skinned. maybe, for some, the militantism is the result of latent racially ambivalent feelings from their childhood.
@The Champ,
“to your point, it does seem like many of the most militant blacks are lighter-skinned”
Yep. Just like Michael on Good Times.
@RedBeanzNRice,
Is it trying to be extra or is it knowing what the situation calls for? For example, being one way at work, one way with your girls/boys, and another way with family . I know my demeanor probably tweaks a little bit one way or the other depending on where I’m at and who I’m with but I wouldn’t say it’s because I’m not sure of myself.
Maybe as a mixtie, people are trying to find the proper tone for any particular circumstance? (Not talking about those people that go extra-extra though and completely change their personality based on who their with.)
@Luvtheshoes,
“Is it trying to be extra or is it knowing what the situation calls for? ”
Well, with the type of people I’m talkin bout, it was being extra. It was never in a work situation; only around our peers when we were runnin the streets, actin up. I know what you mean about adjusting yourself in professional situations; I think we all do that because it’s necessary. But not when we’re just hangin out. Hangin wit her was like hangin with Cybil.
@RedBeanzNRice,
The problem seems to be that if she was not doing any of the behaviors above folks (as we have seen on this here blog) would have cast her as “not identifying enough” or “thinking she’s better than the norm”.
Our aversion for what we consider “outside of the norm” makes us become truly difficult human beings.
@mssula,
Exactly. I couldn’t have said it any better.
hmm… once again, i invoke those 2 words – Happy Sindane. It doesn’t get any more tragic. cry, the beloved country…
for those who didn’t read my last post on this, the condensed version, at wiki
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Happy_Sindane
@superwoman,
if i had a milkshake right now, there would be tears in them.
@The Champ, you have tear ducts?!
@overit,
i didnt say they would be my tears. just tears and sh*t
Oh, and now that I’ve realized my full drunkeness, another thought popped into my head. Yes, it’s 3:30 am , and yes I’ve been sippin vodka/cranberry for roughly 3 hours, and yes I should be asleep – don’t judge me.
About the “society” comment I made earlier, this is what I mean:
I used to work with this guy named Greg. Now, me being of the super-chocolate persuasion, I have a tendency to view other super-chocolate people by degrees. (like 3 shades lighter than midnight, etc.)
Having said that, Greg was “Wesley” black, but for some odd reason he seemed to think he was “Brooke Shields” white. Every conversation I had with him would make me loathe him even more, but the one that sticks out in my mind is a conversation we had in the elevator after coming back from our respective lunch breaks.
Me: Hey Greg, how was your lunch?
Greg: Great! I brought my lunch, but I had to run out and buy Shania Twain’s new CD.
Me: (unnoticed eye roll) Yeah? I’m not really into country mu-
Greg: She’s GORGEOUS! I love her melodic tone; it’s just so soothing.
Me: ……..
Me: So what are your plans for the weekend? (Ugh, why do we work on the 10th floor?)
Greg: Well, Saturday is Black day at our house.
Me: Black day?
Greg: Yeah, we barbecue, blast Marvin Gaye, sometimes Parliament, and don’t care what the neighbors think. One Black day I took our daughters to East Oakland to show them how other blacks lived and which ones to not get mixed up with.
Me: ……
Me: Greg? Is your wife white?
Greg: No, she’s black. What would make you ask that?
Me: No reason. (Thank gawd the elevator got to the 10th floor by that time)
Of course that conversation made me RUSH to tell Asia. (the black receptionist, and only other black chick in the office) Maybe I’m stupid, but for me, EVERY DAY is Black day; I couldn’t wrap my head around his concept. She concurred.
Now, CLEARLY he had issues with being black because of society’s impression of black people, and what is accepted in white society. I just had to put that out there cause it’s not just relevant with mixed people only. It’s disgusting, annoying and sickening – but sadly true.
Sorry for the long-windedness.
@RedBeanzNRice,
“Greg: Well, Saturday is Black day at our house.”
This is worthy of a throat punch.
@miss t-lee,
“This is worthy of a throat punch.”
AND a open-handed slap in the mouf.
@RedBeanzNRice,
‘Greg’ sounds like a perfect candidate to be yoked up by Ving Rhames and the ‘Drop Squad.’ (does anyone but me even remember this movie?)
@ThePhiladelphiaNegro,
I remember Drop Squad.
@ThePhiladelphiaNegro,
…great movie.
“Come on back, brotha…”
I gotta try and find that movie…somewhere.
@RedBeanzNRice,
i get the feeling that he was pulling your chain a bit. i cant imagine someone being so self-unaware that theyd freely mention that a “black day” takes place in their household.
@The Champ,
“i get the feeling that he was pulling your chain a bit.”
Except he wasn’t. He was the dude at work that would over-pronounce his words extra loud when he was on the phone so that the white folks could hear that he was “educated”. He’s also the dude that couldn’t relate to any of us black folks, which is why I guess he felt the need to point out that he didn’t “forget where he came from”. Hence the “Black day”. Even the white folks couldn’t stand him; no joke.
I used to work with a dude that was like this too. He ended up being an aight dude, but he just didn’t identify with black culture…I kinda felt bad for him in a way. He just identified with white culture more and I couldn’t even fault him for that after learning more about him.
What’s funny is, there were times we might grab some lunch and the topic of hott women in the office would come up and he would be bringing up Becky, Suzie and Erin (even though…Erin was made up like a sista, body-wise) and I would bring up, Tameka in Accounting or Maria in Marketing and he’d be looking at me like the RCA dog…
Sometimes, it is what it is.
@AkShone,
not the RCA dog…lmao!!!
@RedBeanzNRice,
See I really don’t know how to feel about this, because I have been called an oreo plenty of times. Based on things that I truly enjoyed doing and that have always been part of my life.
I worked at a place where some of my black coworkers said they couldn’t “relate” to me.
Now should I go around and change my behavior to “fit” in or remain true to who I am and what I have always been?
I don’t know, but it might all come down to perception and perception can be dangerous.
@mssula,
There’s nothing ever, ever, ever wrong with being who you are. My whole point about him was that he seemed to be putting himself into the mold he felt society wanted him to be in. Greg was introduced because I was trying to say that not only do mixed people try to bend to societal views, certain black people do too.
@RedBeanzNRice, Yall shoulda had beat gregs black ass day at the office!!!
@RedBeanzNRice, i think i need to start invoking Black day at my house. we will all don names like LeRoy and Sadie Pearl and watch Good Times and I will play the bass guitar for 3 hours at time.
@Panama Jackson,
“i think i need to start invoking Black day at my house. we will all don names like LeRoy and Sadie Pearl and watch Good Times and I will play the bass guitar for 3 hours at time.”
Ok, that made me choke on my Kool-Aid, lol.
@RedBeanzNRice, was it red kool aid? if so, can you give some to PBG?
@SouthernGirl,
It was orange Kool-Aid, but if it was red, I woulda been happy to share. : )
@RedBeanzNRice,
I can’t even speak on the level of FOOLISHNESS that this notion is… BLACK DAY? In the home of obviously Black people? *looks up to Heaven and sighs* Dear Lord, WHY?!?!
@RedBeanzNRice,
WOW!! Greg gets a big wow…
wowzers… its 5:50am where i am and there’s already 76 comments? vsb=my heros!!!
anywho, on to my comment… kudos to you panama… kudos…
i mean, when did the 1/8th rule up and get thrown out the window confusing these people? and y in the hell do mixed kids think it’s soooooo hard to be accepted by either race? i’m sayin, most mixed people look like regular light skin black people and in many cases are darker then light skin black people. i think that they just suffer from the poor me syndrome and want some extra attention. like you said, quit being an asshole and people (of all races) will like you…
ok, i’m off to the gym now… great blog!
@ladebelle,
what gym is open that early?
@The Champ, la fitness in midtown… y? u comin to work out with me?
@ladebelle,
does it have a basketball court?
I think the fact that the person doesn’t feel like they can identify with either race may causes issues. Its not limited to kids of mixed race either. You can be a little black girl and feel like you don’t belong.
The key is to work on self-esteem. In the past, society has placed a “stigma” about being Black. It does take someone the child admires in his or her life to instill in them the truth. In this society, if you have one drop of Black blood in you—you’re Black. There’s nothing wrong with being Black…just ask our new Pres.
@Shelia,
In this society, if you have one drop of Black blood in you—you’re Black.
do you think this’ll ever change?
@The Champ,
If the barriers were truely knocked down, I would think at some point, maybe, the majority of folks in such melting pot societies would end up being mixed. So one drop would not be really able to define you. Maybe your culture would then be more important than your racial background.
But Star Trek taught me that even in the long time away future, folks tend to stick with folks that looked like them…..except for Kirk and Uhura in that one episode!
@Swamii,
I loved one Star Trek episode where they landed on a planet with striped folks, 1 black side and 1 white one. The crew was really happy and figured this planet wouldn’t know any racism and such. Unfortunately, even those creatures found a way to discriminate against each other… based on the position of the stripe!!!
So yeah, swamii, you might be onto something here.
(And I always love a Star Trek reference!)
@The Champ – Grant it, we’ve come a long way, but I don’t think it’ll change.
@Shelia, i agree that the key is to wrok on self-esteem…i just wonder why more parents really dont play a hugely active role in correctly identifying their child for the world we live in.
becuz often times the ppl in an “interracial” relationship aren’t clear how they fit into society (even though it may be very “black & white”, no grey areas) so they have no F*CKING clue how to make their little racially mixed child fit in either. so they do what they think is best–confuse them by NOT addressing the issue of mixed heritagedness.
@Shelia,
You can be a little black girl and feel like you don’t belong.
Truer words were never spoken.
Hell you can be a big black girl and feel like you don’t belong. Ask moi.
@mssula, “Hell you can be a big black girl and feel like you don’t belong. Ask moi.”
halleluher…
“Hell you can be a big black girl and feel like you don’t belong. Ask moi.”
Say that!!!!
@mssula,
you are my she-ro. I addressed my particular pathology and its manifestation here…
http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/2008/11/self-therapy-time.html
@blackberry molasses,
i was SO feelin that post….im still workin on it though.
I’m not sure about this one, I know a couple of mixed kids that identify completely as white. Mainly because we went to a 95% black high school they just became part of that 5%. They didn’t dress, chill, or listen to music like anyone else. Crayz thing is dude had a baby with a mixed girl, so what does that make the baby? Does a union between to mixed people make a mixed baby.
@J. McFly,
Yes…it’s a mixed baby.
@J. McFly,
They didn’t dress, chill, or listen to music like anyone else
Is that what makes one black?
@mssula,
Sometimes yes. In middle school, because I wore payless shoes and non name brand clothes, read books in my spare time, and apparently liked my classes, I was a bit ostracized.
This is how bad things were. Our class was large enough to warrant two buses every time we went on trips. There was clearly a “black”/minority bus, and clearly a white/international students bus.
So, for the first few trips, I’d have to actually decide, do I get on the “black” bus where ppl are likely just going to ignore me for the entire trip and just sit there by myself and read or do I get on the white bus where I at least had some friends (hint: almost none of them were white)?
I think our teachers tried once to rebalance the bus makeups then just gave up for the remaining couple years.
@kamakula, not to pick on your comment, but I hate this stereotype.. I went to black schools, predominately white and mixed schools, and I never not never knew people that were ostracized for just being smart. Yeah black kids play the dozens, and check your shoes, your lunch, that you on free lunch that your not on free lunch etc… and either you develop a tough skin and jump in or you go over to the otherside but thats a choice its never only because the child was smart and read and shyt.
The kids considered popular or the leaders are the same group of kids at every school black or white. The jocks, the dance/cheerleaders and the all around extra curricular folks with good grades…I went to the most urban highschool in Memphis, and I kid you not there was a fight where a chick almost got her head cut off by a machete on the first day of school, blood everywhere but even there, kids with good grades and lots of extra curriculars were the leaders…
@shay-d-lady,
The kids considered popular or the leaders are the same group of kids at every school black or white.
i have to agree with this.
@shay-d-lady,
I was not talking about popularity. Perhaps you missed the fact that I had near zero friends among the “black” kids at this school. This has never been an issue at other schools I’ve attended.
The point of telling this anecdote was not to bolster any stereotype, but to enter evidence that supports other people’s experiences and can explain their present-day worldview.
@kamakula, I didnt miss it at all. You had few friends…doesnt that equal un popular? my point was that in my experience popular kids are smart, well rounded…they read and like star trek and all too..its not the intelligence that causes the ostracism…..
@shay-d-lady,
Perhaps you’re right. I just have a hard time believing that there could be an entire group of about 40 people who were “popular” over 2.5-3 years.
“….and I never not never knew people that were ostracized for just being smart… The kids considered popular or the leaders are the same group of kids at every school black or white.”
both my brother and i (we’re 18y apart, mind you) experienced being ostracized because of our “smartness” at our diverse/mixed schools (we went to schools in different districts). it’s not a MYTH or some steretype. that ish is real. i wouldn’t dare say it were typical or common, since i had no earthly idea what goes on at every school in every city in every demographic. but it has and does exist.
i don’t see what popularity has to do with anything. at my high school, it just so happened that 97% of the popular black kids were athletes (of varying degrees) and in remedial or “college prep” classes–none in the honors or AP classes. it was diff with the popular white kids–they were all diff levels of academic status.
point is, smart black kids have and DO get a bad wrap for being high academic achievers. like it’s cute to not know sh*t. hell, Chris Rock hit it on the head–books are like kryponite to n*ggas. not all but plenty.
@Gem of the Ocean, not sure about your school but again.. simply being smart has never been cause for being ostracized in any setting I have been a part of….however intellectual snobbery (stand offish or shy behavior sometimes is mistaken as this)… but I am not co signing the fact that black people or schools promote being dumb or target smart people..thats ridiculous yes there are black people straight with being dumb but I have never seen them at the top of the social circle in a school setting.. .neighborhood maybe
@shay-d-lady,
Where did you goto school?
hell yeah it’s a mixed baby. why is it NOT a mixed baby?? when asked further what mix, they can say that both parents are blk & white. but they still black!! other thing i hate to hear that ppl don’t like is “what are you?”
OK, i cannot seem to identify your background, what the hell is it? ppl ask me this cuz i don’t look “african american” i’m never offended, but mixed kids like to come with the whole “i’m a human being..what are you?”
womp womp womp. cry me a river.
@jana.love,
non-black racially ambiguous people frighten me
@The Champ,
Why is that?
We cling too much to boundaries, “known things”…etc…
Maybe because I come from a place where your Mixness does not show physiologically and there are gazillions combinations, I don’t quite get this fear of anything different from us.
@mssula,
Maybe because I come from a place where your Mixness does not show physiologically and there are gazillions combinations
is “the concept of being facetious” also banned from this place?
@The Champ,
Today it is. As well as sarcasm, irony, hamartia, hyperbole, double entendre, understatement, subtext, rhetoric, stereotype, and metaphor.
@kamakula, lol. ironic that your “the humor’s gone” comment is funny to me.
@The Champ,
Usually there, the concept of “being facetious” comes with that of “being funny”… which it clearly didn’t in this case.
But eh, different places, different customs.
“If more mixed kids were privy to these kinds of realizations at an early age instead of parents trying to tell these mixed (up) kids that they aren’t black or white, but mixed, well maybe, just maybe, these f*ckers would have somebody to play with because…”
Okay…this made me laugh…I almost feel bad for laughing, but I have plenty mixed relatives, including my nephew so I’ma laugh. I think it’s all in how you are raised, but that goes with anything.
I just read an article yesterday about how some people don’t want to own up to the fact that Barack Obama is Black. That was also equally as funny. Back in day they concocted that “one drop rule” to keep us down, now that ish had come back to bite them in the azz and they wanna b!tch about it…I love it.
@miss t-lee, “I just read an article yesterday about how some people don’t want to own up to the fact that Barack Obama is Black”
i wonder if tthese same people have owned up to Michelle’s blackness. Is that up for debate too? LOL
@Princess Duvet,
LOL–I wonder…
@Princess Duvet, anybody questioning her Blackness needs to be pimpslapped with a swordfish and a pimp chalice.
@Panama Jackson, well i think figuratively her blackness has been questioned in the “who is this Obama guy” phase..that many black people had ..if only for a couple of days.
I give you handclaps for this article.
So true… I’ve heard that a mix child shouldn’t deny their “other” parent b/c it is disrespectful…. I think the “other” parent just needs to be smart enough and AWARE of how they’re child will be treated…
To a Kentucky cop, your mixed child will be a ninja.
To the KKK (yes, we still have them in deep KY), your mixed child will be a ninja.
Keep it going….
Halle Berry and Alicia Keys both have white mothers but will always be thought of as black women.. no disrespect to their mothers…
Mariah Carey? I’m not going to be able to claim that trollop of confusion. We’ll mark her down as “other.” She is the exception.
@Nicki Sunshine,
i have never claimed mariah. my sisters taught me this at an early age. she makes me nauseous.
@laylah, I like early Mariah, with Visions of Love and Fantasy,
but now I cannot STOMACH this broad. Point blank period.
Even back then, you could tell she had issues though.
During my college days I was in INROADS with this mixed dude who gave me a long dissertation on why he always checked the “other” box in the race section on tests, forms, surveys, etc…
When he was finished I replied Riley Freeman style, “nucca…you’s a nucca, open your eyes”
He and I didn’t talk much after that…
@Cornell Westside,
you should have ended that sentence with “b*tch”. ending sentences with “b*tch” is like adding the perfect condiment to a spectacular crab cake.
case in point: “nucca…you’s a nucca, open your eyes, b*tch”
see?
@The Champ, i couldn’t agree more, but this was before the “I’m Rick James, B*TCH” era…circa 2000
@Cornell Westside,
see. this is why i can flux with ya.
*btw I saw the comment you left on my site… MAD FUNNY. Thanks!!!
It really depends on where you grow up. I grew up in upstate NY and in my area, mixed children did have a hard time fitting in. One of my best friends growing up who’s not mixed, but often mistaked for being black & asian was constantly picked on by other kids. It was harder for her to fit in with black kids who teased her for looking different. She was so sweet & nice, but kids picked on her all of the time and it caused her self-esteem to drop. I was her only close friend growing up. Things changed when she went to college and her look was considered “exotic” instead of different and she was more accepted. It can be tough depending on where you are. I think it’s easier now because there are a lot more multicultural backgrounds now…
@Leila,
do you think its generally tougher for men or women?
@The Champ, Hmm probably women. Guys don’t seem to care about that kind of stuff as much. Girls can be cruel for no reason…
@Leila, but I think its customary that black kids tease EVERYONE for something….. suck it up and move on
why should kids, of any background (eco, socio, heritage, whatever) suck up being teased?? adolescence is very difficult to go through becuz hormone levels are constantly changing, the body is going through so many changes, and brains are still developing. it’s very difficult to just suck some sh*t up if you aren’t raised in a household that is comforting enough for you to retreat or learn to love yourself.
society as a whole needs to do a better job of LOVING and CARING for our youth. why the hell should we just cast them aside and let them fend for themselves?? sure, some kids do need to toughen up in certain respects, becuz afterall, we live in a cruel world. but why should we excuse ignorant and intolerant behavior, just becuz “kids will be kids.”
that’s just a f*cked up mentality, in my opinion, and the sh*t makes NO sense to me.
@Gem of the Ocean,
::applause::
@Gem of the Ocean, I completely agree with you! Some kids get treated so badly and they shouldn’t have to put with that. A little teasing can be tolerated, but when it’s constant and the kids are traumatized, then it’s not okay. They shouldn’t have to deal with that.
@shay-d-lady, There’s normal teasing and then there’s more. I remember just going to a basketball game at school and the second she walked into the bathroom, girls would call her all types of names for no reason.
Fab blog post…I have a mixed friend who identifies with black culture but looks more like her other side. I always wanted to ask her how she indentifies herself technically but that would be such an uncomfortable conversation. HOWEVER, my Spanish-speaking friends can be a hot ass mess.Can someone also send this to my dark skinned Latinos that say, “I’m not black, I just look black.” Wtf is your dumb ass talking about??? You speak Spanish, but your ass is black! It’s like once someone has the opportunity to identify with another component of their racial makeup, they leap at the opportunity forgetting that as everyone said, you’re a n*gga at the end of the day. Get over it, it’ll make your life easier.
@Nonya,
you just opened up a whole other can of worms. let’s not get started on my hispanic friends who can’t accept the blackness. makes me so angry.
@Layla
Yeah this is a whoooooole other can of worms alright! The latinos and blackness conversation can get crazy. Have you ever tried to convince a black person that they’re black? RIDICULOUS.
I’m Dominican and hardly ever get my hair straightened so I always get asked if I’m mixed and i always reply yes. I just figure my mom is a white Dominican and my dad is a black Dominican so it counts. Either way…anywhere I go, I know I’m considered black. How do I know? All I have to do is drive a few hours north of NYC and walk into WalMart. lol
Most of the more “Americanized” members of my family know they’re black though. Things get real funny when my “mexican looking” niece walks up to one of the workers at Toys R Us and asks why they don’t have the baby she wants in black because “i’m black and i want a black baby” lol Good times!
@Nonya, ““I’m not black, I just look black.” Wtf is your dumb ass talking about??? You speak Spanish, but your ass is black!”
I must agre with you. . .my family here in this country is very well adjusted. We all see ourselves as black people FIRST . . . clearly descended from slaves (or Africans on a road trip). I do have a little black cousin back in Panama who refuses to admit that he is black. He is a twit for not forming his own opinion, but that is how it is down there. It’s like they see all the broke white/mixed ones living in the ghetto with them so they think they are all the same, but you turn on TV and you may see one black person on a music show. But all the rich folk, celebrities, idols, all look like white folks. It seems like lack of ambition on my people’s part to break that ceiling, but whatever, im gonna do me.
My problem arises when the tards of the world try to convince me that I am not black because my family is not from America. I save my history lecture and just figure their gene pool will be drying up shortly.
@IVR et al,
See, I don’t know about this. “Black” is an western term used to describe people who otherwise have little racial identity within their home country.
In Nigeria for example, nobody goes around saying they’re black. They are Igbo or Yoruba or something else. I’m thinking a lot of people more identify with being Dominican or Puerto Rican than black.
Remember, “black and white” are not purely racial terms, they’re cultural as well. Look at eastern europe, we don’t refer to them as white either. They’re Latvians or Belarussians, or South Osetians. I’m pretty sure they themselves don’t identify as white.
I think part of the reason why this can be such an issue is due to the culture war in the US. Where it’s almost fighting words when a dark skinned person refuses to name themselves as black. As if there’s a you’re either with us or against us thing going on.
@kamakula,
See, I don’t know about this. “Black” is an western term used to describe people who otherwise have little racial identity within their home country.
interesting point and sh*t
@kamakula, That’s always been my feeling about it. I’m Dominican and if someone were to ask me if I was black I would take it that they were asking me if I was African American, which I’m not so I would say ‘nah, I’m Dominican’ and that’s it. By looking at me you can easily deduce that I have African ancestry, so what else could you be asking? And what else would my answer be?
@kamakula,
I can see how “black” can be a western term as you say but Dominicans have issues beyond that. Some (not all) really and truly believe that they are ONLY Spanish and Taino :- Now I don’t know how white and indian give you black but that my friends is denial at it’s best.
When we refer to black dominicans we mean Dominicans of African decent…some just don’t wanna hear it (even though it clearly plays in the drums of some old school merengue!)
@CurlyFries, I know it’s true but I’ve never witnessed a black Dominican outright denying their African ancestry, and if I did I would HAVE to resort to the throat punch. The lighter is better concept is something my sisters and I have all rejected (which leads to the inevitable and fascinating summer quest for my older sister to get as tan as possible, lol)
@tatica,
I know a whooole lot about that quest…i have a yellow tone to my skin that only a few days in the sun can help :-\ Now i’ve discovered i get some weird allergic reaction to the sun if i stay out too long so i have no idea what i’m gonna do with my pale yellow self lol
@kamakula, “Remember, “black and white” are not purely racial terms, they’re cultural as well. Look at eastern europe, we don’t refer to them as white either. They’re Latvians or Belarussians, or South Osetians. I’m pretty sure they themselves don’t identify as white.”
I hear you, but those are white people in 2520 Land and Black people in Africa. I am talking about black people in this hemisphere, whether they be descended from slaves or just Africans in America. Here, in America, Black and White are what they are, and regardless if u came here on the boat ride or on a plane from some exotic locale, you are now a Black person. If I go to someone and tell them I don’t eat collard greens and sweet potato pie (not trying to be racist just saying what happened to me at my thanksgiving luncheon here at work FROM black people) they will look at me like I am crazy. If I were a white person they would be like. . .figures.
No matter when you get here, if you are black, chances are you will encounter racism. Me and a friend of mine were riding down the street a few months ago in Palin land and we get pulled over. The cop comes up to the window and asks me for my ID, problem is, I wasn’t driving. He then proceeds to ask my 2520 friend if he was alright. (he dresses like an abercrombie and fitch person, I was in my big black new york style North Face coat) I dont think the “I am Panamanian” card would have made the copper reply “oh, I am sorry, I thought you were African American, have a nice day”
The term may refer to a culture as some African Americans like to put it, but once you step foot in America you are put into a category. There’s not really much you can do about that. Latin American racism is a separate issue, kinda related, but not the same.
@IVR,
Actually, you make the argument for my point pretty well, that in North America and parts of the western world, racial identity is all about one’s position in the racism divide and NOT about culture at all.
However, for many people, especially those NOT from the US or some western countries e.g. UK and France, the question of identity is mostly about culture and race is kinda superfluous.
So, for such people, responding with “I’m X, not black or African American” is not about saying “don’t lump me in with those people”, it is about affirming that I as an individual have my own separate identity whether you like it or not. And the subtext of that is “you cannot make generalizing statements about everyone who has dark skin, look, I just demonstrated that I have a different background than what you thought, what does that say about your preconceptions of people?”.
@kamakula,
“Look at eastern europe, we don’t refer to them as white either. They’re Latvians or Belarussians, or South Osetians. I’m pretty sure they themselves don’t identify as white.”
But, should they ever take up residence in America, they are classified as “white” because of their skin color, whether they identify with the “culture” or not. The same goes with Dominicans, Haitians, Afro-Cubans and Aborigines having to be “black” even though they’re not necessarily familiar with black culture in America.
I guess the “melting pot” that America claims to be means you must “melt” to fit your color instead of your heritage. Just a thought.
“Now I’ve been mixed my whole life, and maybe I’m the exception to the rule, but I’m always thinking: WHAT THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH THESE BASTARDS???”
YA DAMN SKIPPY. it’s not that hard being mixed. what the eff is the problem???
sheeeeet.
@laylah,
what the eff is the problem???
jim jones
@The Champ,
i know, jim jones, jim jones. but i say all of dipset.
@The Champ,
Speaking of this dude…have you seen his “revolutionary” side? http://www.xxlmag.com/online/?p=30896
Pure comedy!!
He also has a documentary on his life coming out…sad…so sad
@CurlyFries,
He also has a documentary on his life coming out
*blinks*
He has a WHAT coming out?
They’re letting anyone fake intellect these days, along with faking talent. What’s next?
@blackberry molasses, “They’re letting anyone fake intellect these days, along with faking talent.”
In the age of camera phones and youtube anyone can have a “documentary” or a “reality show” or a “music video”
I have no idea what’s next
@CurlyFries,
Jim Jones and revolutionary have no business being in the same sentence…lol
@CurlyFries,
“Shouts to all my Obamas, the niggas is out the Obamas is in,” Jones told SOHH.com. “The bitches is out and the Michelles is in. So if you’re lady gets you mad you say, ‘Michelle you betta get out of here before I slap the thunder out of you.’
***dead***
@laylah,
See what I was talking about in my above comment?
Put a muzzle on that MF’er.
Ugh…
@CurlyFries, Aren’t you directing that curlyfries? lol
@IVR, LMAO!
If I was directing it (read: selling my soul for lots of money) I would use my post production skills to sneak in an animated troll to come in and throat punch him every few minutes…then i’d probably lose the job i never wanted in the first place. Tis life! He’s an idiot!
However, I do have to sit through a screening of this nonsense at work tonight with this said idiot sitting in the same room…so it should be an interesting night to say the least.
A girl’s gotta pay the bills. :-\
@CurlyFries,
you gotta be in the same room with him??
let me do my job real quick…
are you up to date on all your vaccinations? you know, small pox, typhoid, malaria? Make sure you have hand sanitizer handy in case you have to shake his hand. MRSA is no joke. I wouldn’t want to take chances with airborne infectious agents either… what city are you in? I’ll get one of my counterparts to drop by with an N-95 resipirator mask for you.
@blackberry molasses,
LMAO!!! Yeah…same room…very small room
HELP! Do you think his dead brain cells are contagious? Is it possible I might come in to work tomorrow and as I try to lurk through VSB I might not understand anything people are saying? 
please extend your arm… I’m going to administer
“Anti Stupid Dirt Boy” vaccine. It will protect you from catching his dumba$$ness. Usually, its a multi-shot series, but they just approved the single dose vaccine. Side effects include enhanced lucidity, mental clarity and rapier wit with a marked decrease in tolerance for stupid sh*t.
@CurlyFries,
Speaking of this dude…have you seen his “revolutionary” side? http://www.xxlmag.com/online/?p=30896
Pure comedy!!
this frightens, saddens, and amuses me
@CurlyFries, documentary?!?! i heard that sh!t was gon’ be on BROADWAY! *sobs*
@SouthernGirl,
Oh yeah…that’s a different project. I don’t know how he managed to get that one. Some coworkers went to see it and they came back green in the face :- They say he “acts” AND “raps” in it. MADNESS!
@CurlyFries, lawd! kang jesus help me! it’s gon’ take more than glitter and gold stars to get me up out of the sadness i am in right now.
You are a d@yum fool Panny!!!
@Teacia, aww…thanks!
“Why so tragic?” seems to be the general concensus, and I have to agree.
The “tragedy” and “confusion” of mixties gets lost in the shuffle because they should have gotten over that sh*t long ago. Most of their issues stem from school – but who doesn’t have issues that stem from school? And am I the only one who sees this as mostly a “woman” issue? I hear similar whining from my militant light skinned friends and my mixtie friends about the “hardships” of being them.
But men can be really funny with theirs. I’ve seen some brothas look at sistas like we was kryptonite hanging from their capes. Try to go out in northern VA or Bethesda/Chevy Chase – dudes get a look like, “How did YOU get here, Nigerina!?!” They was hoping to push up on the 2520′s in peace…
But I digress. I’ll give a mixtie a hug today to help ease the sorrow.
@Lil’T, “Try to go out in northern VA or Bethesda/Chevy Chase – dudes get a look like, “How did YOU get here, Nigerina!?!” They was hoping to push up on the 2520’s in peace…
”
maybe im in some type of denial..but i never got this hangin around BCC..
@Princess Duvet,
It’s been a while since I hung in that area (had a job in NoVA – thank God I found something closer to home) but I’ve definitely seen it. BCC has gotten more diverse, though. When I saw “the look” it was generally in places where there were only 2-3 black folk.
@Lil’T,
i wonder tho how much of this is “what we bring to the party” seriously like overit said NOVA is like a mini little newyork..alexandria, arlington even on down to parts of reston.
i wonder if expectation plays apart..cause if you expecting to not be well received im thinkin you won’t be.
@Princess Duvet,
I feel you on the expectations point. Coming into a situation thinking the worst usually results in the worst happening. But the infamous look pretty much caught me by surprise. Truly a wtf? moment. And to be fair – not all brothas do this.
@Lil’T,
it’s not hard, at least for me it wasn’t. i think a lot has to do with how you were raised; having a strong foundation and an ounce of self-esteem.
@Lil’T, Northern Virginia is mad diverse, what is you talm bout?
@overit,
I’ll have to clarify for the part of NoVA I was stuck in for a time- Tyson’s Corner. The most diversity I saw out there was in the nanny brigade. On a side note – I never saw so many nannies in my life.
“The “tragedy” and “confusion” of mixties gets lost in the shuffle because they should have gotten over that sh*t long ago. Most of their issues stem from school – but who doesn’t have issues that stem from school?”
i think this is exactly the problem–ppl expect those with “issues” to just get over the ish when they’ve never really dealt with the issues to begin with. why?? becuz comments like “get over it”/ “move on” / “suck it up” are made. no one can get over some thing they’ve never been given the opportunity to.
as i’ve stated before, adolescence within itself is a difficult period to live through. they don’t call them “growing pains” for nothing. it’s taxing on the body and mind. so not only are certain kids (namely mixed, since they are the topic of today’s discussion) dealing with issues that ALL pubescent youth are going through, they also may be going thru identity issues. and i imagine it’s extremely difficult to build strong self-esteem if you keep getting tossed aside, marginalized, ostracized, teased, pigeon-holed based on your skin color and heritage.
maybe you (global sense) can’t empathize, but a little sympathy might help these confused, tragic muh fuggas work through they issues.
damn.
True-dat!!! I haven’t read any of the other comments but I agree with what you said. I’d also add that until white women started OPENLY having Black babies, there was no such thing as bi-racial. For most of the white women I know who call their kids something other than Black, it’s because deep down, they can’t stand to admit they birthed a darkie/Black/negro. Furthermore, there is a difference when it comes to Black mothers. I’ve never seen a Black mother try to tell her child with a non-Black father that the child was anything but Black. Typically, the mothers are in charge of socializing the kid. So the Black mother socializes the child around people who look like that child–Black. But, if that white mother refuses to accept that her baby will be seen and treated as a Black person, the kid is screwed from the womb.
@Hostess,
I’ve never seen a Black mother try to tell her child with a non-Black father that the child was anything but Black
i have. my ex-fiancee’s nephew used to refer to himself as “gray”
@The Champ,
gray? Oh sweet Lawd…..
bwahahahahahahahaha!!!!
@The Champ, She’s the exception and that poor lad is fugged from the womb. Instead of a 529 plan, might I suggest your ex start a therapy fund for the little guy.
@The Champ,
my ex-fiancee’s nephew used to refer to himself as “gray
BWAHAAHAAA…. whooo….
@Hostess,
Well my cousin is coffee bean black married to carrot top Scottish man… living with 2 kids in Glasgow… She would have a hard time telling those kids they are anything but Scottish…
The kids know where their mother comes from, have visited, understand that they are a product of different cultures. However, they live in Scotland and for all intentive purposes are as a matter of fact Scottish.
Now, imagine those kids come to America to study, what pray tell should they identify as? Or why should they even have to identify with anything?
They might experience racism in their home country, but that doesn’t make them less from that place.
I don’t know, that whole “the kid should accept he’s black because society said so” seems a bit narrowing to me.
Hallie Berry is mixed…and beautiful. Mother’s white, father black. I believe she’ s able to somehow identify with both races because she’s so mainstream but considers herself a stong black woman. I think where she’s always tried to compensate is dating and marrying different races of men. Could be wrong, just my opinion.
@Tx10inch, Actually, I mentioned this in another post, Halle’s mom sat her down and told her that society saw her as Black, so she was Black, period. I think up until then Halle was doing the “I’m bi-racial” thing, which really should not be a problem, but her mom had to break down the ways of our society to her.
@Tx10inch, i’m just gon’ go ahead and say hello since i’m commenting here so…heyyyyyyy
but anyways, i think she’s ok with her id as black cause her mama had sense and told her and her sister that they were black and that that’s how they would be viewed. she’s mentioned this before in articles. let’s not discuss her man choices though.
@SouthernGirl,
Heeyyyyyy Sweet thang. Pimp’n ain’t 4get you. Co-sign on her choices in men. Lots o’ problems to say tha least. Looks like she finally settled down though. who knows?
@Tx10inch, i hope so. her daughter is precious though.
“you know what, i really think that a mixed person’s “racial identity” is usually defined by the type of people that are attracted to them…not vice versa. like, if a little mixed boy is getting love from the tiny sisters and not the small snizzles, he’ll start to internalize it and identify more with his blackness.”
i said this upthread as a quick aside, but the more i think about it, the more this seems to be true.
@The Champ,
interesting, neva thought about that.
@The Champ,
I dunno bout that one; unless it only applies to men. I knew a mixed girl (black n white) that had nothing but white girlfriends even though her boyfriends were always black. If she internalized that, and identified with her blackness, wouldn’t she have at least one black girlfriend?
@RedBeanzNRice,
I bet her Daddy was black.
Usually they (mixed folks) go with the color of their opposite parent… If its a mixed girl, and daddy was black, she usually goes for black men (unless maybe he was absent and she was rural) and if its a mixed dude…. all the same rules for regular black men apply. (dip and dabble whereva, wheneva, howeva…) but usually if moms is white, they end up dating more white chicks.
Ayo,
As a matter of fact, her daddy was black and both parents lived in the home. Your explanation makes a lot of sense; I never really looked at it way.
also…
i don’t think anyone has a right to say a person should consider themselves this and not that. it is that person’s perogative. it may look foolish to the rest of us… a person who is visually black claiming all white or whatever the mixtie case may be… but i don’t really care. your issue, not mine.
@laylah,
In a nutshell, that’s kinda the whole point.
What should it matter if someone considers themselves a Klingon? It only engages them. It might seem ridiculous to me but if you like it, I love it.
i agree with bof yall. let ppl be whoever the hell they want to be. but some ppl just don’t know who they are. and i think that’s the major struggle–finding self.
if it were easy, the self help section at Borders would be just 1 shelf and this VSB post would have less than 100 comments.
my name is Gem of the Ocean and i’m a mixtie. neither tragic nor confused. neither torn nor desolate. not one or the other but BOTH. i embrace my black and mexican heritages, though i typically identify as black. how YOU choose to define me is irrelevent to my life. but if it makes you sleep better at night to label me as one thing or the other–black, half breed, other–then go right ahead. i, however, will define myself by more than just my skin, my blood, and my ancestry. they help contribute to my experiences in this world and how i shape my understanding of where i come from, but my heritage does not solely determine WHO i am.
while i find this whole topic exhausting and not interesting (i’ve lived this post my whole life and it gets old), i think it’s unfortunate and troubling that so many ppl dismiss the “plight” of mixed kids because they don’t personally identify and frankly don’t give 2 sh*ts. but why?? black mixed children’s issues are just as worthy of attn as “pure” black children. because ultimately mixed ppl’s issues become society’s issues.
mixed black kids who are “tragic” and “confused” are so typically (and i’d be bold enough to say always) because of 1 of 2 reason:
a. they have a black father who is no longer around, and thus the absent black father is synonomous with all the ills of the black community. “black ppl aint shit anyway, just like you’re father.” non-black mothers often capitalize on this and make sure the child feels ashamed to be associated with the niggerishness that runs in their veins.
b. the black father has identity issues himself and believes “white is right.” so the black father praises the child for being mixed and hell, the kid is half white so they are half right and thank heavens for that!
as Peej mentioned, it’s the parents job to ensure their children understand who’s they are and where they come from. and to be comfortable in their skin. i have NEVER (and yes, i’m saying never) seen a mixed person have “identity” issues when both of their parents were comfortable in their respective “skin”. never seen it. not kids who grow up in predominately black neighborhoods, not kids who grow up in predom white areas, not kids who grow up in “diverse” surroundings. never seen it.
but as with everything else that’s wrong in society, bad parenting sets children up for the REST OF THEIR LIVES. so what can we do about it to make it better?? how are we embracing each other and making each other feel welcome and accepted?? because truthfully, it’s not just a mixtie problem. most black ppl feel marginalized for one reason or another–be it skin color, the type of music they like (oohh you not black if you don’t like rap), the type of clothes they like to wear, the way they speak, etc. it’s a community problem and we as black folks need to do a better job of understanding and sympathizing with those who got issues. maybe it’s not YOUR problem individually, but why shouldn’t you be willing to help a n*gga out anyway??
in short (yeah right), that’s all i gotta say.
@Gem of the Ocean, you know…well stated.
well stated.
from one mixtie to another–’preciate ya.
@Gem of the Ocean,
Personally, I truly believe mixed women are some of the most beautiful women walking the earth. Along with our beautiful black sisters (of course). But whether black-white/black-mexican/black-fillipino/black-japanese or any other combo of cultural mixture, the majority I’ve had the pleasure of seeing/meeting/dating have been absolutely drop dead gorgeous (in my eyes). And they usually don’t have a problem with being identified with either race but they’re comfortable growing up/interacting as black.
Tx, you know i almost e-loved you once upon a time… but i must say i HATE being told mixed women are at/near the top of the beauty pyramid. like all mixed chicks are gorgeous?? NOT.
i met some dudes last night who made comments about how pretty i was, how nice my hair was, and it was all thanks to my mixtieness. like wtf?? is that supposed to be a compliment?? i mean pretty genes are pretty genes and if anyone is lucky enough both parents will pass on the chromosomes to produce beauty (big ups to Ma & Pa Oyster for creating this GEM).
point is, don’t give some one props on being good looking on account of their racial/ethnic geno/phenotypes. K?? thanks.
@Gem of the Ocean,
Dang, girl! Was you feelin’ the post or what, lol?
Anywho…I think you’re right about the parent’s role and attitudes…flucked up parents will get you every time. There are emotionally mature, balanced mixties out there – but as usual with us colored folk, the loudest and most obnoxious (I’m giving you the side eye, Mariah) get to represent the bunch.
lol initially i wasn’t gon say ish becuz i was like “here we go, resident mixties in vsb attendence STAN and say something”. so i was gon let the post ride and just lurk. but i read a couple comments upthread and the ABM (m=mixtie) in me just roared out. so yeah… lol
i think becuz mariah is somewhat tragic and confused about being a mixtie is what brings her so much attn. if she were some white chick with an obsession of _____ (fill in the blank) no one would pay her any mind. but becuz she has this “identity” issue of sorts, ppl pay close attn to her.
i like her music and that’s all i think about when i hear the name MC. i couldn’t care less about her, nick, or her need to be “young” at her middle age. i just say–do you, boo.
@Gem of the Ocean,
**clapping**
Awesome post.
thanks boo. where you be at?? whats crackin in the burgh?? i needn’t go out, but just in case i get the urge to party… lol
@pgh muse,
Hey girl… shoot.. I’ll be in class 2nite
and home with my babies after… I swear to the death i’m coming out… i have to see what’s going on this weekend coming up. U go out over Thankstaking?
@Gem of the Ocean,
how YOU choose to define me is irrelevent to my life. but if it makes you sleep better at night to label me as one thing or the other–black, half breed, other–then go right ahead.
go on girl!
i think you are my new best friend.
from one mixtie to another (other than Peej)–thanks boo!!
we can be e-mixtie-bffs if you want. just need to fill out some e-paperwork….
@Gem of the Ocean,
Standing Ovation.
That was beautiful and $h!t!
lol @ standing ovation. you are so silly! thanks but i’m just speaking what i know.
@Gem of the Ocean, go ‘head on then ms. gem.
*thumbs up*
SG, even with the controversy over “our” e-pimp, you know i ‘preciate you girl!! lol
@Gem of the Ocean, lol. back at cha hun! ch!cks before d!cks!
ok, that was kinda crass but you get my point!
Ooh-ooh-ooh, way off topic:
I keep forgetting to say this, and I’m not sure exactly when you got the “2009 Black Web Award for Best Blog”, but congrats to you, Champ and Panama! Very nice!
@RedBeanzNRice,
thanks and sh*t
@The Champ,
You’re welcome and sh*t.
And y’all wonder why I don’t advocate “the swirl”! Black life is hard enough, why further complicate it by having a parent who will never know what it’s like to be Black? I kid I kid. Not really though. My dad is a mullato, with absent Black father issues, and he’s a strong Black man. But I would never want my own child to go through the crap Black folks have given him because of how he looks. Plus, he can kinda sorta pass, I’m light skinned and I worry that if I had a mullato kid of my own, they’d look like Pinky!
First I want to thank “intellectual hedonist” for putting me on to the site and flagging this post for me! Holla chica!
As an “execption to the rule”…actually – i feel like i am “the rule” – i too have issue with those of weak constitution that play the victim becasue they are “mixed race” / “bi-racial” / “mullato” / “quadroon” / “octaroon”…and so on…
I didn’t find out that I was not 100% Black until I was 10 years old, and while my mother stuggled to tell me that my father was a white man, I was resolved in the fact that I watched the Jeffersons and understood what it all meant (yes, I am old enough to have been watching it while it was in its original run)… I ran to school the next day to share the news, but not because i felt like i was any different – closer to white or whatever – but instead because I had a tangible bit of information about a man from who’s seed i am a product. Not once did it cross my mind that i was anything other than Black – because for me it was and always has been something I am proud of.
Now, it hasn’t always been “easy” – I can pass the paper bag test, but can’t pass for white – and because of that I have heard my share of dumb comments, but never have I ever felt or played the victim. And folks who do, whether its because of race, or ethnicity, wide noses, narrow noses, “good hair”, “bad hair”, whatever other things that make one different than another, at the end of the day there are two primary races – Black and White – and I am proud to be the former. And frankly take issue with folks who want to question whether I am something else. “Hey, what are you?”…”what do you mean?”…”you know, where are you from etc”…”im an american black” – it kills ppl who assume they can tell that I am not “just black” – shoot i’ve even been told “oh, no wonder you are so attractive – thank goodness for the white blood in your system” – LMAO – WTF!
I can go on and on on this subject – talk about the friends I know who joined student support groups in college for “bi-racials”; the cape verdeans i’ve run across who are darker than me, with “nappier” hair than me believing they are Portugese vs. African; and so on and so on…
This morning I was finishing up the article in Newsweek on our soon to be First Lady and I came to tears on the subway when I read the following “Wow, look at her and her brown skin….and I don’t mean any disrespect to my sisters who aren’t dark brown, but gee, its nice to see a brown girl get some attention and be called beautiful by the world. that just doesn’t happen a lot, and our little girls need to see that-my little girl needs to see it.”
All I’m saying is be proud of the skin your in – you can do that even while being proud of all the other parts that make you whole! There are hundreds and hundreds of years of Black folks who you can lean on (Michelle and Barack being the most recently highly publicized)…You will be happier…
@mouthfullajoy,
Good post.
@miss t-lee, Thanks!
@mouthfullajoy,
No problem girlie.
@miss t-lee,
get my reply?
@Tx10inch,
I can’t check my personal email here at the J.
I will holla back.
@mouthfullajoy,
first of all…
Welcome!!!! **sprinkes Diva Dust ™**
The official welcome committee (with their CPT @$$es) will be along shortly to give you the tour.
Secondly, i stopped in the middle of your post because I NEEDED to comment on this
“shoot i’ve even been told “oh, no wonder you are so attractive – thank goodness for the white blood in your system” ”
you didn’t stab this person?! because I would have. They disrespected your mama to your face. That’s grounds for evisceration in my book….
okay, back to the rest of your comment.
@blackberry molasses, thanks for the welcome…gurl, understand – trying to change the (or kill) an old biggoted b*stard, is a big waste of time! lol!
@mouthfullajoy,
welcome and sh*t
@mouthfullajoy, first, great post!
second, welcome and sh!t. i just come by to throw *gold stars* at people on top of BBMo’s diva dust (did you get my note about the tm yesterday, bbmo?).
and since we had a slight dust up yesterday, the rules of engagement re: certain real and mythical creatures which are as follows:
-albinos, midgets and clowns are not to be thrown around all willy nilly as these really do freak some folks out and cause mental collapses.
-black squirrels are real (though some doubt this)
and this will be proven as soon as one of them stands still long enough to gather photographic evidence.
-references to unicorns, glitter, gold stars and the like are welcomed and encouraged (though the champ and/or panama sight send you to the corner for over-use depending on how they’re feeling that day)
oh, and luvvie should be by momentarily to tell you about the corners and sh!t…
@SouthernGirl,
tis all good about the trademarking. i’ll let you in on the secret on FB. it ain’t hard at all
just as long as i get the creative credit, i’m cool
I’m not mixed but I grew up having to deal with some of the same issues as biracial children. I look Black (quite dark), but according to most folks I sound white (I prefer saying I have a voice commonly associated with that of a white person). I experienced instances when Caucasian children didn’t want to play with me because I’m Black, and Black children teased me because I sounded like a “white girl”. Their assumption was that because I SOUND white, I might as well BE white. The lack of acceptance hurt me a lot. Black people that don’t know me(actually all ethnicities take a stab at me) still tease me and assume I’m a spoiled black white girl because of my voice, but I’m grown now so I don’t give a good d@mn.
@Voiceofreason,
“Black people that don’t know me(actually all ethnicities take a stab at me) still tease me and assume I’m a spoiled black white girl because of my voice, but I’m grown now so I don’t give a good d@mn.”
You’re preaching to the choir girlfriend, but “either love me or leave me alone” (shouts to Jay!).
@miss t-lee,
actually shouts to Brand Nubian, but I will back away b4 I get throat punched for being nit-picky, lol
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
Hey…I won’t throat punch you missy…
I do make mistakes…lmao!!!
@Voiceofreason, i can relate here too ***cues Mari Ben Ari LOL***
i had it from every side comin color struckness of members of my family, issues of class and education, odd couple parents…
but like i told PBG nobody gets out of this world alive without that “something”. Everybody’s got it Nikka Costa style.
but again i hate to get all mr. rogers up in here but isn;t that what makes us all uniquely special…i would seriously go some kind of nutty if everyone shared the same experiences. thats rather boring to my a.d.d. and all lol.
@Voiceofreason,
The lack of acceptance hurt me a lot
I bet, from both sides. At the end of the day we all just want to be loved, for who we are, whatever our gender, racial identity, or sexual identity. Your post just made me have that epiphany really – - like it’s that simple but yet so hard.
Why is everyone personalizing this so much with the exception of the author? It’s starting to sound like a “mama done burnt up the cornbread” play in here.
@Jeandra,
*** googling “mama done burnt up the cornbread”***
@Princess Duvet,
I think we should write it if it doesn’t exist.
@Jeandra, chile don’t tempt me…
i’ll have that joint scored by dinner time…
“mama done burnt the cornbread and the hotrolls” goes right to broadway.
@Princess Duvet,
***scene 3***
“mama, how are we going to make it?”
“i dunno chile, i just burnt the last cornbread we have”
“oooooh! mama done burnt up the cornbread”
@Princess Duvet, “goes right to broadway.”
hey, if jim jones can do it….
@Jeandra,
LOL! I think it’s natural to read, watch, or hear something and personalize it. But you’re right. Today is sorta leaning toward “Mama I Wanna Sing Because A Hero Ain’t Nothin But A Sandwhich And My Arms Are Too Short To Box With God At The Beauty Shop Part 2″
Gotta love the chittlin’ circuit.
@Voiceofreason,
EXACTLY.
@Jeandra,
I hope you’ve got an extra gig over there, cuz I know I’m out of a job after this! Too funny!!!!
@Lil’T,
I’m but a humble HR person. But I am trying to develope a side venture
@Jeandra,
That play can’t be any worse than who made the potato salad?
Google that…lol
@miss t-lee,
“who made the potato salad”
The obligatory question asked at ANY african american gathering.
@Jeandra,
True…and also a very bad movie…lmao
@miss t-lee,
horendously bad not only was the situation bad but the acting cinematography set….
@WuDaMan,
since i’ve gotten the class action thumbs down, i’ll have to check it out.
mob mentality is a mofo.
@Jeandra,
Steal the boot leg
@WuDaMan,
since i got the class action thumbs down i’ll have to check it out.
mob mentality is a mofo.
@Jeandra,
They’ll probably thank you
@WuDaMan,
I knew YOU had seen it…lmao.
@miss t-lee,
and wouldn’t you know it. I saw it on bootleg @ a family gathering. smh I was ready to pass the hat for the poor famly member that actually wasted their time and money getting it. Then I thaught for a min and said faulk em we in a recession bytches.
@WuDaMan,
LOL. that’s a bad bad day when you have to steal a bootleg.
Another movie you should steal a bootleg of is “The dorm that dripped blood” it was a favorite in my dorm back in the day.
@Jeandra,
In the case of my family, if the answer is anyone other than “Eugene”.
The visible disdain is coupled with whispering.
personalization is how we learn. DUH! besides, i can’t speak for no one else–i can only give PERSONAL accts, ya dig??
oh, and if i were to have a autobiographical hip-hopera straight to dvd, it’d be entitled i may have “good hair” but a perm left in too long will burn my scalp just like yours, shaquita, so just pass the collard greens and hush
it’s still under revisions…
@Gem of the Ocean,
Please notify me of casting dates. I have several people in mind.
I dont know, it seems like all you mixed/I sound white people need to get a grip. People that tell you that you sound white probably aren’t doing too well themselves right now. I have heard this myself (normally at work/a lot in my youth) and I am a dark skinned brother . . . realistically if you speak properly most not so VSBs will say you sound like a white person . . . because most of the white people they see (on TV if they live/grew up in a segregated area) speak like you do. Tnese people, where are they now? The ones who accused me of being “like a white person” are still on the block.
My case may be a little extreme because I was bussed out of my neighborhood. My mother was told that I was intelligent and wouldnt have went to college if I stayed at my elementary school at that time. So everyone else is hanging out during school and then here comes the kid that goes to school with the white folks down in bay ridge with the payless shoes on. . . let the jokes begin . . . So I feel bad for them not having the opportunity . . . they are still friends and we talk when I see them . . .
But I’ll be G*DD*AMNED if I sit here and wish they accepted me! My black , more than 3 syllable word saying, payless shoe rocking, travel an hour extra to go to school @ss got a degree AND a JOB! Accept deez nutsz. . .I’m only going back to the hood to visit.
@IVR,
“My black , more than 3 syllable word saying, payless shoe rocking, travel an hour extra to go to school @ss got a degree AND a JOB! Accept deez nutsz. ”
This made me laugh out loud for real!!!
Love it mayne.
@IVR,
**clapping**
ok, I’m just sitting here. but in my mind I’m clapping.
@IVR,
“I dont know, it seems like all you mixed/I sound white people need to get a grip.”
Congrats if you didn’t care about being accepted as a child. But you can’t deny that it’s perfectly normal for a child to want to be accepted by their peers. No one said anything about looking for acceptance as an adult. Even in college and law school other black folks called me white, but as I previously stated, I’m grown now so I don’t give a good d@mn.
@Voiceofreason, “Congrats if you didn’t care about being accepted as a child. But you can’t deny that it’s perfectly normal for a child to want to be accepted by their peers. No one said anything about looking for acceptance as an adult.”
But that’s just the thing . . . it is probably for the better that I wasn’t accepted. I can’t look back and say I didn’t care as a child. I was MAD AS HELL that my mother would get me laughed at in school because of my fake kicks and the fact that she cut my hair with a bowl (this was funny . . . I also remember her and my grandmoms trying to perm my hair as a child I haven’t brought that up since I’ve been grown but its getting there). But who is to tell what would have happened if I was accepted . . . started doing dumb ish to prove how HOOD I was . . . I would have just been another negative statistic . . . looking back and reliving your unacceptance sucks because your probably a lot BETTER now, adulthood lasts longer . . .we win! LoL
i think they key, IVR, is your PARENTING. and that’s what a lot of ppl seem to be overlooking. it has less to do with the peer-to-peer interactions, reactions, and responses than it does with how your parents raises you and teaches you to deal with these issues. strong, informed, loving, caring parents better enable their children to “get over” sh*t and become comfortable and confident in their skin. parents who aren’t as mindful of and aloof to identity/acceptance issues tend to mal-prepare their offspring to succeed and have strong self-esteem.
i’m trying to tell yall, it’s all about upbringing.
@IVR, clap… clap… clap..clap.. -> applause
don’t apologize for shyt! i grew up hearing the same insults and for a long time, i felt really excluded… (‘sniff) but now those same people not only accept me, but tell me that they’re proud of me – you know, when i return to the hood to visit.
@ladyb, “but now those same people not only accept me, but tell me that they’re proud of me”
I don’t hear the I’m proud so much, its more like DAMN son can you get ME a job. . .they about to close Circuit City and ima be runnin in these streets again yo! Same sentiment I suppose.
@IVR,
But I’ll be G*DD*AMNED if I sit here and wish they accepted me! My black , more than 3 syllable word saying, payless shoe rocking, travel an hour extra to go to school @ss got a degree AND a JOB! Accept deez nutsz. . .I’m only going back to the hood to visit.
if this comment was a chick, it would be a hybrid of aisha tyler, res, pre-1997 deborah cox, post-”moving” stacey dash, and kenya moore
@The Champ,
More like that girl from Soul Food (the tv version)
that’s married to boris kudjoe
@Jeandra,
no. not at all.
@The Champ,
maybe more like cree summer.
@Jeandra,
She has my dream job. Voice over!!!!!
@IVR,
*tear*
@ Champ & Panama
That actually would be a really good topic… “What is acting white?”
It’s really a shame that anything positive seems to be credited to the 2520′s.
If this topic has been covered please point me to that thread. I’d love, love, love to read it.
@CJnPA,
both p and i have plans in the works to touch on this in some way
@The Champ,
Can’t wait! I answered you about my locale in PA. I’m assuming you’re in Pittsburgh.
@CJnPA,
“What is acting white?”
The only thing I truly consider “acting white” is insisting on walkin outside, and all up and down the street barefooted. It still puzzles me why they do that.
@RedBeanzNRice,
That’s the question I wanted to address. What IS acting white.
Having proper diction?
Wanting to educate yourself?
Liking varied types of music?
Growing up all these things, plus others that won’t come to mind at this moment would get you called “white”. I find it sad.
HEEEY EVERYBODY!! I MISS YOU GUYS!! haven’t read the post, just had to say HEY! first…ok now I am going to read and sh1t!
@GOODENess, heyyyyy
@GOODENess,
AAAWWWeee Yeah! Gone be some changes round heuh!
GOODENess is BACK!
I like what Lenny Kravitz once said in an interview. Mixed kids need to know who they are b4 they get out there in the real world. Now according to the context of his love revolution album his Mama mainly raised him. And according to the Hostess the community that raised her was the one that had her ear on what to teach her chillins.
I like the father son talk you had Tangl Jig P. I keep picturing a sit down like that scene in pulp fiction when Chris Walken is talking to little boy butch. But I can only imagine you w/ your full grown head on a little boy body. eheh heeheheheee
I can almost identify w/ mixties cuz of my hair’s texture people sometimes accuse me of being a mixtie n all. I just would put it to the kid like hey this is your ace in the hole. You don’t tell everyone what your holding. (anybody remember Biloxi Blues the movie) Remember the ghey dude who was actually a mixtie passin in the whote man’s army…
@WuDaMan,
“I can almost identify w/ mixties cuz of my hair’s texture people sometimes accuse me of being a mixtie n all.”
I think you should retain an attorney
@Jeandra,
*squinting face like eddie murphy in bowfinger* What… I don’t get it?
@WuDaMan,
You need an attorney to help you categorically deny the allegations that you are a mixtie. : )
@RedBeanzNRice,
Hey I’z negruh my Daddy is my Mama is my Brothuh is my big Sistuh my lil Sistuh… It’s just some of them Great Grands. but I hear her. I tend to look @ hair to help me determine a mixtie or not.
Tip toes away
@RedBeanzNRice,
thank you
You know what P Mo Nimblie. I like that you brought this up. Too often people get this sort of self-ism. (I know there has to be a word for this if any body knows please say so). People sometimes live out of their heads. They take the attitude ‘if I can do it this way this is the right way.’ But this is so wrong because so many people have such different gifts n talents. And situations present themselves differently in real time. *sigh* Then the assumptions come out. Where people think that their and the people around them have the only and true experience @ being of a certain demographic. All I’m saying is open your mind punk. But be mindful enough to call schinanegance and give a slight side eye to let people know that scalped wolf tickets will not be sold here. A lot of times it is enough to make them tell the truth about what’s going on.
Ummmm…. Is it against the VSB rules or will I get e-fired from VSB if i ask a question that is waaaayyy off topic?? It’s related to a post from last week but reared it’s ugly head in my real life today… I have a celibate woman in my office… everybody knows she’s celibate… and she’s crazy and nebby and generally unhappy. She hasn’t gotten any in 7 years.
My question is: When is it ok to stop waiting for Jesus and get you some (safely of course)???
*** Champers, PJ, sorry for going so far off the topic but the question was BURNING in my soul and I want to smack her a$$ with something (a dyck preferably) ***
@pgh muse, lol. well, she done hit the 7 year itch like a mofo, i guess. 7 years, for real?!? was she down with the get down before and now she’s refound jesus and is off the wagon? i’d say the time is now, but *shrug*
@SouthernGirl,
lol… I KNOOOOWW!!! She is so extra, and I know she would still be extra cuz that’s her personality, but I really think that if she had a good man in her life… or at least a physical release she would be so much more even keeled and happy….
@pgh muse,
My question is: When is it ok to stop waiting for Jesus and get you some (safely of course)???
There’s no time frame…lol
@miss t-lee,
There’s no time frame
Hey girl!! I really am like seriously thinking about this cause this woman in my office is nuts! But I’ve been celibate b4 – - and know that it was a reaction to a traumatic experience. I think that a fast to cleanse the soul is great (like fasting from food – instead you fast from sex)… but all in all i think celibacy is overrated for adults. If your a virgin then you’ve never had sex so that’s not technically celibacy (TANGENT!!) … But she’s unhappy… and she fills her life up with work (she has like 3 jobs) and is meddlesome cause she doesn’t have fulfilling relationships. And she’s very active in her church so I’m just wondering when it’s ok to try something else… not stop having faith…but…
@pgh muse,
I have faith as well, but I’m coming up on year, I don’t hope to see 7 years celibate…ever….lol
@miss t-lee,
a year? how does that happen? do you have a booger on your lip or something?
you know I’m playin rite?
@Deviant,
I know you’re playing. lol
It’s completely and totally by choice and it’s a hella long story. It’s been real rough, I’ve been a saint.
We’ll chat sometime about it.
@miss t-lee,
GIRL… ME EITHER!!! EVER!!! Like… what do you do… and she swears that she’d go to hell for getting some, I’m like dayum… being around u is putting other people in he!! –
@pgh muse,
I’m so sorry…I feel for ya’ll.
@pgh muse,
its always a good time to get nekkit and get down to the bisness of the bisness.
@Deviant,
lol. More and more I’m thinking that maybe it is…
@pgh muse, 7 years LOL…
i actually think some people use religion as a serious crutch. Jesus can’t get your head did, he can’t show you how to turn on the “girly” to get the guy. And buy a nice “jesus loves me dress” that hugs the body in a sanctified way LOL..
Jesus wants what you want. but some women do believe that the UPS guy is gonna deliver them a man.
you still kinda gotta do your part.
@Princess Duvet,
I agree 110%!! I swear my neighbor is the same way… she’s another older woman who is waiting for a man… and not actively living life… just waiting on Jesus. And her a$$ is crazy, and nebby, and hasn’t had chex in like 8 years… and i’m like dawg, get u a friend or something… not a jumpoff – a male “friend” as they call them.
@pgh muse, i don;t understand this either..i actually took a courtship class in church a couple of months ago on a whim..and it was some old @zz women in dat class..
who had a bible quote for why they didn’t date..
err but where is the bible quote for not wearing lipstick and lookin like aunt bee on andy griffith..Even Jesus had a little umph you know what i mean? LOL
@Princess Duvet,
“but some women do believe that the UPS guy is gonna deliver them a man.”
Well hell, that’s their slogan: What can Brown do for you? So really, THEY started the false hope.
@RedBeanzNRice, ctfu!
some of yall up in here are cold and heartless!! damn, can a mixtie get a break?? lol i’m only half kidding (guess which half–black or mex?)…
but seriously, i feel very privileged to have parents who cared enough about my whole person to make sure i am confident in my identity, my skin, my life experiences all that. i do have body issues, however, that they couldn’t really address properly but that’s another story for another post (perhaps another blog) lmao…
i say all that to say, well ummmm, how do i put this?? basically, date/marry within your “race” or make sure you and your racially-other partner are damn good parents, and all this tragic/confused mulatto business won’t be an issue. if you’re already a mixtie, either don’t have kids or follow the latter advice for the previous statement. and IF you have mixed kids, remember mixtieness does not equal prettiness–so you may have to prepare them to have even tougher skin if they are not cute.
that’s all
@Gem of the Ocean, “some of yall up in here are cold and heartless!! ”
My mama used to tell me when i had a bad day at school…tomorrow is a new day.
im glad for it..we can start over. YAY.
I think it’s a little arrogant to assume what a mixed person should classify themselves as if ur not mixed. It’s just as annoying as white people saying they understand the black mans burden because they have black friends. I have never walked in a mixed persons shoes. Now my daughter (by marriage) who is mixed has never been told she is black, however being raised in a black community (ironically the same community Halle Berry grew up in, even went to the same elementary school) she basically classifies herself as black, because she LOOKS black. She has black friends, she is neither confused nor tragic and she has a healthy relationship with BOTH parents. Black is a physical description anyway, if someone looks white (no matter what their parentage), who am I to say what they call themselves? There are mixed people from all over the world that when you ask them what they are, they will probably name their country affiliation before racial identification comes to their mind. Should it annoy me when I ask a mixed person what are they and they say South African?
@L,
Word.Life. to quote Sir Panama.
I went through the “tragic mulatto” phase in like 8th grade. But mine was more so kids telling me I spoke too proper to be all black.
Uh dude, my dad is Afro-Cuban and my mom is a Brown Cherokee. That means black.
SMH at me still having to explain that to people to this day.
So for those of you who are unsure, this is how you know someone is black: they have skin darker than PALE. Yes, there are such things as latinos who are black and not mixed black and latino. Its because latino is a freaking ideology and culture, not race. SMH.
I’m done.
@chaoticdiva,
“So for those of you who are unsure, this is how you know someone is black: they have skin darker than PALE”
What about albino black people? Their skin is lighter than pale; basically 2 shades less than pink, but yet still black. I’ve only met one so far in my lifetime thus far (he was selling magazine subscriptions door to door, had pronounced black features, and me being nosy as hell, I had to ask him what was his nationality) but he was black. He even rocked a sandy brown fro.
According to your statement, since he had skin LIGHTER than “pale” (even though his mama and daddy were both black) did that not make him black? Just askin.