It is the season of champions. What do UConn men’s basketball, LeBron James and Charlie Sheen have in common? They are all winning. Do you know who else is winning? White women. More specifically, when it comes to playing for the ultimate title of Wife, white women are the All-Star MVPs
This paragraph is from “Why White Women Are Winning” — an article published by UPTOWN Magazine last week that gives reasons why white women are, well, “winning” in the game of love while clearly implying that since white women are winning, black women are definitely losing.
As you probably guessed, this created quite a stir in the black blogosphere. In fact, if you google “white women winning,” the first results page will show five different responses to that article written in the past three days, including “Paper Thin: Why the white women are winning argument is a losing one” from the homie Sister Toldja.
(It’ll also show a thread from Yahoo Answers titled “How can us white men start winning back our women once again from other races” — a topic that proves once and for all that everybody is wrong about everything, all of the time.)
Anyway, while the other responses are a bit more reactive and defensive, I thought I’d go a different direction and list ways that black women are in fact winning.
Here’s 10 of them.
1. They’re usually not the protagonists in super shitty romantic comedies
While some might interpret this as proof that black women aren’t as desirable as the Katherine Heigls and Jennifer Anistons of the world, I tend to look at it a different way. You see, because most romantic comedies revolve around thimble-headed white women making thimble-headed white woman decisions, people who’ve seen enough of these movies can’t help but begin to think that, well, all white women must be thimble-headed. This thimble-headed/silly bitch stigma largely escapes black women, a fact which definitely helps them get high scores while playing Words With Friends.
2. Their “window of bangingness” is much, much longer than all other women’s.
Between the fine wines – women who seem to get better looking as they get older (think Halle Berry), the steadies — women who seem to look exactly the same as they did when they were 25 (think Stacey Dash), the seasoning salts — super fine 20 year olds who are now super fine 40 year olds (think Nia Long), the martians — women whose combination of age, fineness, and proportions defy the laws of the universe (think Kenya Moore), the shirleys – legitimately old women who still look like they’ll wear your ass out (think Jenifer Lewis), and the loomers — women who decided to wait until they were 43 to become dimes (think Regina King), it’s not a game with black women’s “aging well” game.
3. Their relationships with their girlfriends are better than any relationship you’ve ever had with anyone.
While the dynamics of the black female/black female close friendship aren’t always perfect or even understandable (still not clear why many women choose to include women that they clearly abhor in their inner circles. Seriously, I think we’ll learn who else shot Kennedy before we get a good answer to that), the otherworldly connections they seem to have is laudable, commendable, and, to be honest, even enviable.
(If I was an asshole I would have said “They’re laudable, commendable, and enviable..at least until you introduce an appealing man to the equation. Then, all bets and bras are off.” But, since I’m not an asshole, I didn’t say that.)
4. Their hair gives them an easy excuse to not do, well, anything they don’t want to do.
Even if it’s complete bullsh*t, the reverence and respect others have for black women’s hair allows them to use this reverence and respect as a means to cop out of any undesirable task.
Don’t feel like giving head tonight? Just say that the neck motion will make you sweat, and you don’t want to go to work with your hair looking like you were just adopted by a white celebrity.
Don’t feel like staying at work today? Just tell your boss some bullsh*t about how you “need to leave before your ends explode.” Even though he’ll have absolutely no idea what the hell you’re talking about, he’ll let you bounce because he doesn’t want to risk having to go to sensitivity training again.
Don’t feel like staying faithful to your man? Well, every time you visit your secret lover, just tell your man that you’re going to the hairdresser. That’ll give you a 12 hour window to basically do whatever the hell you want, especially since most men prefer not to know why the hell it takes women an entire Wendy’s work shift to get their hair done.
While we’re still on hair, we can’t forget the fact that…
5. They can change their entire identity with one trip to the hairdresser.
While identity changes happen when non-black women switch up their hairstyles, these changes tend to be more superficial. I mean, so you went from blond to brunette and people take you more seriously. Whoopdy f*cking do. That still won’t get you into Heaven. But a black woman can alter everything from the type of music people assume she listens to the types of men who’ll approach her (and what they say when they approach) just from going from perm to natural.
6. Everyone assumes they’re automatically great cooks, great dancers, competent singers, soulful, community-minded, full of wisdom, unflappable, and sincere.
In fact, the only thing black women ever have to “prove” is whether or not she’s angry, able to find a man, able to keep a man, able to think like a man and act like a lady, and able to find the one eligible, attractive, and available man in the sea of HIV-infected, middle school dropout, homosexual atheist rapist goons she has to choose from.
7. They’re given carte blanche to beat their kids in public.
If little “Johnny Whitemommy” took out his d*ck and started peeing on the mannequins in J Crew, the most he’d probably receive from his mom would be a slight scold and a half-assed teachable lesson. (“Remember Johnny, if you pee in public, at least try to pee in the mannequin’s pocket next time so it doesn’t spill everywhere”)
Why? Well, as soon as the first drop of Johnny’s urine hit the ground, the PC police would have been poised and ready to attack; thumbs ready to call CYS on speed dial while they’re paying close attention to how Johnny’s mom reacts.
On the other hand, black women have no such worry, and in a similar situation, they’d be free to drop kick and punt little Jaheim as far as they’d please.
8. Other races of men write songs specifically about them.
From the Rolling Stones’ “Brown Sugar” to Fleetwood Mac/Santana’s “Black Magic Woman,” history is filled with examples of non-black artists writing songs directly inspired by black women. Whether this is fetishization or homage (or somewhere in between) is debatable, but the fact that both of these songs are about 150,000 times cooler than Mighty Casey’s “White Girls” isn’t.
9. They have magical vaginas.
What exactly makes their vaginas magic? Well, that’s the only way to explain how the same woman can produce one kid who looks like Blake Griffin and another who looks like Eddie Griffin.
10. They’re not black men.
Which means that they’re approximately 1752% more likely to stay alive long enough to read this entire list.
Anyway, I’m sure I forgot a few. Can you think of any other ways that sistas stay winning?
The carpet is yours.
—The Champ
***Just in case you missed it, here’s a video recap of “Three Deez” our book signing/anniversary party in D.C. Shout-out to Tim at Jamos Studios for the production***
Forgot Sade homie. She’s 50 and still gorgeous in mind, body and spirit.
Fail, Sade is Nigerian.
*Dunce cap and kazooing*
nigerian=still a sister
exactly.
I saw that mess and skipped right over it. Uhm….African=form of black.
We all have moments, but VSB’s should be, uhm, smart.
Charlize Theron is Black?!
Well….technically she is (she is South African btw).
Aw hell Naw, South African! Charlize Theron!?! Technically, she is the descendant of the oppressors of the TRUE South Africans!
Nuff said….*storm out!*
*vsb glittter*
Yay!!!! I’m all shimmery! ain’t I so purrrty like? Thanks Liz
NEWSFLASH:
Africa, Caribbean, Latin America, Europe, etc all have BLACK people that live there.
No no no… Charlize Theron is a white African American not black.
That’s what I meant.
Why wouldn’t she just be a white South African… in America?
Because in America its common to just lump all 54 countries in Africa as one.
so why do we call ourselves African American if we are Black Americans? **just a thought***
Others call themselves, Irish, Brazilian, Ecuadorian, etc. Why because they either came from these countries or their bloodline originated in these countries. It is the same with us. As Paul Mooney said we are Stolen Africans. We have an origin just like everyone else. Also no one can tell me I can’t be called an African American.
Please let that fool know…ughh I grew up with everybody telling me I aint ‘really black’ just African. Now African American dudes can’t stay off this real African poom poom. Swear it makes em think they in the mother land…
She’s 50??
Maybe thats why she seems so mature..
Your only “fail” is thinking Nigerian doesn’t equal “black” (-___-)
but he failed his self. Isn’t that worse than what he thought? iono.
Be the man, say ish and walk away before it settles. Why not?
Black men gotta win too
I tried to tell him in a comment below… and of ALL the places to go with Sade’s racial identity you go with nationality? By 9a.m. someone is going to call him out on Nigeria’s ethnic diversity.
It’s too late for me to give a speech on Nigeria’s ethnic diversity, otherwise I’d do it.
Btw, YORUBAS STAND UP!!!
“Btw, YORUBAS STAND UP!!!”
*daps*
Yaaas!
Bawoni!
Mo wa pa! Iwon ko?
I was hanging with the YORUBAS last night at the FEMI KUTI Concert in NYC!
Say “YEAH, YEAH!”
Me feelings on ‘black’ are essentially in line with those of Leroi Jones/Amiri Baraka as he discussed them in Blues People. I understand your perspective, but wholeheartedly disagree.
Can you explain please?
Will probably be a long conversation, click the name->about->contact information there if you want to talk about it.
So Sade is not black?
It’s cool. Don’t listen to me. It’s not like I’ve been caught in this trap before.
“Me feelings on ‘black’ are essentially in line with those of Leroi Jones/Amiri Baraka as he discussed them in Blues People. I understand your perspective, but wholeheartedly disagree.”
i actually do understand what you mean. i disagree, but i understand and sh*t
I like your new avatar…
Somebody’s been watching too much Always Sunny.
Ima need ppl to learn the difference between black and African-American
SUPER DUPER CO-SIGN
most people are confused with what exactly “African-American” is…
Quadruple DAPS to this comment. It’s 2011 people, geez.
@hehe
Really? We need to learn a way to create distinction between ourselves more than there already is? I thought the idea was unity. Lest you forget that Racism is based on skin color and not origin or birthplace.
Know your History, great. But this seems like birther talk to me. Just another way to pull us apart. Like we aren’t doing it enough without separating and rending at the social fabrics of acceptance and…GROWTH.
OMG! can I take away your VSB badge because that comment was stupid. No one said ANYTHING abt being divisive. African-American is a ethnicity but they are BLACK. I am ethnically West-Indian(or Caribbean) but I am BLACK. My gosh.
But wait? Yuh yardie? Wha’pin sistren!
OMG SFG, ENGRISH PLEASE! I don’t know what you’re saying!
“Hold on, you’re from the islands? What’s up girl?”
wow. thanks for the translation!
DEAD at the WI translation.
Nope not Yardie. Vincy
Well, dat nuh same ting? lol
yup, I don’t think I’m going to enjoy interacting with you much…thanks for being honest.
well’p that how it goes. I was going to post an apology for getting a little upset…
it ain’t that deep. I’ll take the responsibility for preaching at you…I was wrong for that. My mistake.
We good? Cool VSB/VSS family
lol we good.
@Sage jr | @hehe
I aint post on here in a minute and I read yall’s post…I prolly shouldn’t even say this, but……awwww.
Agreed, there is a difference.
We stay winning because we reproduce and raise these fine desirable black men that women all over the world desire.
I love it!
*welcome *
It seems to me that people are more interested in tooting horns on why “African-Americans” SHOULD be recognized as separate, how they “Raise these fine desirable black men that women all over the world desire”.
Everybody damn near knows there’s is cultural differences, but that’s just what it is, cultural differences. I hope that this string of posts don’t reflect an attitude that I missed somewhere growing up in Northern California.
First off, to everyone who doesn’t share our complexions , we’re all black. Period. So there’s the bathwater without the baby. Secondly, I do agree with @Sage jr, and I think he was taken a bit out of context. it is ALL about unity, and things like “Ima need ppl to learn the difference between black and African-American” , as if members of this board have put it in question.
Not only is this putting alot of your own shortcomings on the table for all to see, but the Black commenters who aren’t African-American on this entry now have even more reason to believe some of the stereotypes about African-American’s and take that all over the world.
I’m not throwing people under the bus, because I know online txt might make this comment seem cold, but I wake up everyday trying to promote unity with black people worldwide. Besides, being African-American doesn’t actually describe our culture, it just describes a place most of us have never been.
I’ve seen this go down personally in real life. The situation went like this:
Young African Lady: Why are Americans so arrogant
Young African-American Man: What are you talking about?
Young African Lady: All Americans are players. You just seem to always be trying to pick up women, fast talking, and the women are always angry, talking loud.
Young African-American Man: Well ya’ll Africans be on bum mode, weaves be out of place, no lotion, dudes hair be unkempt all the time. Only like 3 of ya’ll are ready ta go.
Angry Young African Lady: You Americans aren’t African, you aren’t the original people. Africa isn’t your homeland. Your Americans!
Pissed Off Real N*gga: Wait a minute h*! What you sayin? Ya’ll be out there starvin’ on the news and sh*t, lookin’ hella bloated! B*tch go somewhere!
(Cue divine intervention by surrounding people)
Angry Young African Lady: Ugh! your all idiots! Whatever!
Pissed Off Real N*gga: Miss me h*! Get gone!
So as you can see, everyone brought their insecurities to the table, and everyone else got free tickets and popcorn to “Trans-Atlantic Sh*t Fest 2010!”
By the way, I’m African-American, and my wife is Australian born African. We watched in complete gob smack.
I hope I helped someone out there. Respect VSB Fam!
Now this is gonna be good…
its already poppin on the comments liiiiiiiiiine. its not even 8:00 am
11. They have a way of turning their narcissistic behavior into a preference or character trait.
Yup.
And its odd how I like the attitude even when it strikes out at me. Makes me smile. And makes me want to do nice things for her. I sound like an abuse victim that has come to accept this sort of thing. Not a good thing about it.
I thought about this feel good post and my mean response then I thought, “You know, the ability to make a flaw a positive helps them keep winning.” Like being proud of not knowing how to keep house or the fact that BW are proud that they dated “bad boys” from the time they were 14 until they were 33 but they “learned from it and are now stronger” type of shyt. If I said “I can’t fight (protect a woman or myself) or that I am a 35 year old with no kids and never married, BW would think something was really wrong with me. And Yes, you sound like an abuse victim or at least a glutton for punishment. Does that stuff really make you feel good?
Dude you b*tch & whine about black women way too much. Jus date white women and call it a day.
LMAO! Okay so it’s not just me, then. he been bitter since he hit the scene. then tried to call me crazy for pulling his card. mmhmm….
@BHillBoy do you like white woman? Is that your preference?
@Liz he does seem bitter…
Admin note: bhillboy37 is currently not taking questions at this URL.
Ain’t nobody intimidated by you Liz…Stop bullying us. ROFL….(and by ain’t nobody, I meant I am…and by stop bullying I mean Let me be great!)
SAGE! YOU HAVE A SMILE!!!!!!!!!! Awwww!!! i can’t even say nuthin snappy back to you cuz I like black men with smiles. it melts my heart! #nothugzone
Liz being nice to Sage? This hasn’t been the case since….
http://jouromeo.blogspot.com/2011/02/5-reasons-why-verysmartbrothascom-makes.html
Go to the comments section….thats the first and last time before now.
(ok, ok, ok. The shameless plugging of my own blog was the point here – Liz is actually very kind when she isn’t ‘roid raging due her modding powers. BWAHA!)
@Sage
LOLOL! Awwwww. Loved your post!! *ANOTHER GROUP HUG*
P.S. The absence of meanness from me usually means I love you. I haven’t been mean to you in
38 hoursages!There’s nothing more “ITCH” than calling a person on a message board a “ITCH”. You wouldn’t say it to my face. Nobody ever has and you wouldn’t be any different. Liz- your angrier than any man on here who stands up for men as a whole. For the record, I only date black women, have a black, ex wife and a chocolate 2 year old.
*snicker*
Oh you try so hard.
I see your ITCH and raise you a NITY.
*roller skates around this thread backwards*
Keep talkin. You will find yourself on time out.
I’m Okay with that but it’s funny that people think they can “moderate” the truth.
moderate deez.
You will stop there. Ahhh.
We love you Liz. Thank you for er’rything you do for us.
I mean, he said he was okay with it?? You ain’t got to tell me twice!
@ sage jr
C’mon bro..stop kissing on Liz and every woman in here..if this is what u do in real life that’s very pathetic..trust me, quality sisters love the intrigue..that’s why real life smart brothers stay winning.
@mandela
I’m fine losing on VSB or in real life.
What you don’t know is me and Liz have had darn near full on arguments until she ignored me.
That the women on VSB and me have a very hit and miss past with only recently have we found any rhythm and understanding with each other.
I may have been right for my perspective BUT I was wrong for my approach.
Thus, I appreciate your words of encouragement yet I must deny you your denouncement of my stature because pathetic to you means nothing to me.
These are the same women that will feel for me when bad things happen and cheer me up JUST BECAUSE. So, again, no offense but no thanks on the advice.
REASON # XOXO why Black women stay winning (above)
y y’all goin’ on dude like that? he do seem to be a bit in his feelings though
For the record, dude has been going in on black women in general since he started. like 95% of his comments, and not in the way where he’s seeking help or trying tot alk out his issues (like TRL for example). Then he wants to sit here and call me and others B*tches. then when i give him a comedic way out to clean himself up, he tells me it’s okay to moderate him? oh, he ain’t said nuthin but a word.
I tell you, people literally be asking to get moderated.
@Liz
moderate deez
Lmao! Liz done gone gangsta..carry on.
who in their right mind would mess with the moderator of a blog who is CELIBATE?!?!?! shes gonna take out her pent up aggression some way lol.
p.s. no shots Liz. i love you!
and did you see the roller skates? and we all know only the bad@ss people can rollerskate backwards.
I’m so proud of Liz.
*fin*
curtsies on liz’s behalf…
LMAO… love it, Liz!
Dead. Dead indeed. If I was still alive though, this right here would’ve made my day!!!!
iGuffawed & iCackled
“For the record, I only date black women, have a black, ex wife and a chocolate 2 year old.”
I find this shocking. From your comments you REALLY do not seem as if you are compatible with Black women. Take my advice. Find a snowbunny and type about something else okay. This post isn’t the time for your bashing.
He did say “ex”. ThT’s a mouthful
she didn’t call you a b*tch. she said it as a verb. as in “why are you constantly b*tching about…”. its different.
*he
Considering all of the negative articles and trolls I decided now was the appropriate time to defend black womanhood(not to mention I want to make sure Liz don go off on me like she almost did last week, thinkin I was a member of ol dudes clan)
LOL. Now that you bring it up, he was exactly who I had in mind when I was telling you last week about the crazies who have been talkin sideways on here recently lolll
I guess people don’t know I can read their ENTIRE comment history on this site fairly easily and can spot trends in hateful wet blanketness with ease.
ooo…
that power would be kinda awesome. just for one day….
What does my trend say about me?
*lays down on therapist couch*
@SFG
It says YOU’RE CRAZY!
And obsessed with the notion of goondom….whatever that is…
This is true. lol
sometimes people see what they want to see
“You wouldn’t say it to my face.”
This made me chuckle. Took me back to 3rd grade street fights. “Baxdest one hit my hand”. Lol
o_0
So, what you’re saying is that you don’t personally know any VSS’s?
Okay, cool…cuz what I read isn’t indicative of anything remotely close to a VSS.
At least I now know why you stay losing regarding this subject….
I know a lot more VSS’s than VDB’s but I’m speaking more to VDB’s than VSS’s. VSS’s don’t need the tough love but I hear some insane stuff from the VDB’s that keep me scratching my head. I could run down my “troubling” convos with women friends but it actually makes me more sad than angry.
Duly noted, then.
Carry on…
“I know a lot more VSS’s than VDB’s but I’m speaking more to VDB’s than VSS’s. ”
why bother, since the VDB’s won’t be reading this anyway? that’s like going to a convent and talking sh*t about strippers.
Thought the same thing.
VDB?
very dumb broads?
That’s what I think it means.
I just wanted to squeeze in here next to you and KB since I luvs ya’ll.
Eff dat puto
lol. right back at cha sfg!
Yes it does.
Its somewhat of an acquired taste. You aren’t just going to get your way. Its almost always better that way too.
Because you may be smart but she knows how to use your intelligence. Its weird. It works for me.
Ladies can you take it easy on bruh, he ain’t going to be less jaded with you e-punking him. And maybe its just y’alls goal to go in but sending him to our residential “comment blogger” isn’t the only possible course of action.
You do kinda sound like an abused victim. However, I have heard many men say that they like a Black Woman’s attitude even when it is directed at them. I mean look at Neyo’s “When You’re Mad,” this man enjoys a woman fussing and cussing and throwing stuff at him. I think it is a sad norm of black relationships, we need to evaluate this…*smh*
Neyo enjoys angry peen.
corey
“Neyo enjoys angry peen.”
i agree sir, i agree
I seen more than one man get amused when I was upset (and it made me even angrier). They don’t know what they want.
I think I can assist with this. You see, your membership in the I.M.P. (Insane Midget Posse) can be both a blessing and a curse. There are few things more humorous than watching you shake your little fist in the air while you’re ranting. Over time I realized that even though its absolute comedy, the tiny ones are stone crazy! Usually after laughing at the baby fist shake something will come flying at your head!
LOL, I see.
This is how men become victims of domestic violence.Exactly! See this is why me and WIP be >><
< but you get the point.
Number 5 is the truth. Cab asked me just today why I don’t look the same in any of my AVI’s. The hair, chico…the hair never lies
Anyway, I can’t speak for all black women but reasons why I stay winning are as follows:
1. White women want to be me. (and you know this maaaaannn, said in my Chris Tucker from Friday voice) LOL, I have had more than my fair share of white women who marveled at my hair, ass, intellect, swag (ugh, hate that word) and personality to know that they’re thinking “if I were black, she’s the type of black woman I’d want to be.” Ha, ha!
2. I’m an every-woman. I cook, clean, take care of kids well, clean up even better, look good in lingerie, am mother approved, desired by fathers, write well, and love hard. Oh and did I mention that I look good? Yeah, all that.
It’s late and that’s all I have for now. But, I’m interested to see what others have to say.
I agree with Cab. Ain’t nary one of your avis looked the same. I’m starting to think MO-VSS is actually a girl group being produced by Diddy.
I’mma stop wondering why I fux with you, DQ. This comment KILT me so much dead.
On that note, all of DQ’s avis look the same *whistles* *sashays away*
LOL
Touche’ Madam Touche’
LMAO, Just for that, Ima change it again!
BAM…AVI changed! LOL
I swear I’m the same person. I just change my hair the way folks pick out clothes. If you look, the face is always the same. Only I’m darker in one AVI cuz it was summer and I tan like a Mexican or a Greek person, LOL (no offense to Mexicans/Greeks, but they do tan well and seriously)
Nice. Quick change.
Right… you look pretty much the same…
…except for everything about you from photo to photo. If you ever did a crime the sketch artist would have to be able to draw an animated gif to caputre all your looks.
Mo
Oh Em Gee
now you really look different… i am looking at the face.. maybe i need to see a full frontal face picture or something… each avi is quite pretty btw
LMAO…I do have to admit, it looks different, but I swear it’s just the hair….
*whistles away while folks ponder if I’m actually one of many….
you know, i’m in the “you look different in all your pics” club too. i used to change AVIs all the time and people would say that. but, that’s also a sign you could do well as an actress or model if you ever had hollywood ambitions. a person who can have many “looks” is asset there.
Muze, I like the name of your club. LOL
If she is, we’ll be asking “Whatever happened to MO-VSS?” pretty soon.
hahahahahaha
hopefully Mo-VSS the group will be able to make at least a lil bit of $$ before diddy takes it all, shelves their album and blacklists them
LMBOOO *faints*
“I agree with Cab. Ain’t nary one of your avis looked the same. I’m starting to think MO-VSS is actually a girl group being produced by Diddy.”
i read this when you first posted in last night and it made me LOL for maybe 2 minutes straight
DQ murdered me. in the library. with words.
Disclaimer:
Oh, and I’m not of the school of thought that white women are the standard in beauty, finesse, or desirability. But, since we’re comparing and whatnot, I asserted that white women wanna be me not as a way to say “see, if a white person is with it, then it’s the sh*t” type mentality. It’s purely a comical way to express a phenomenon (sheer fascination with certain outward/inward traits I am perceived to have) that I seem to be on the receiving end of regarding some of the white women I’ve known.
Carry on!
LOVED the “for folks who believe Tyler Perry is making a Love Jones remake” disclaimer. *slight cackle*
Got to…before the race police come in and assert I’m trying to hold the standard as white and I’m everything that is wrong with black women.
Either that…or…you know…claim that I’m angry or something. LOL
in re #1: we gots da receipts
in re #2: ALL DAY LONG, ALL DAY STRONG. the gift that keeps on giving.
Agreed…My roomie sophomore year told me she’d want to look like me if she were black….I’ve NEVER thought about wanting to be white much less what I’d want to look like….
me too…and you cant even see my avi. when i cut my hair folks thought i was another person!
#staywinning on #s 2, 5 & 7.
yeah..between the tanning, the bronzer, the lip injections, the booty implants…
yeah…about that…
*nods in agreement*
Co-sign all day…
I cosign you with the hair thing. My hair has been every color: reds, browns, blondes and I look dramatically diff when my hair is straight vs curly. When it’s straight, I’m a sista and can blend in. When it’s curly, I’m one of those exotic others. lol My hair can change my entire ethnicity. Cool beans.
“Especially since most men prefer not to know why the hell it takes women an entire Wendy’s work shift to get their hair done.”
I’ve been trying to figure this out since the age of 9, when I’d get my haircut done faster than my mom could get her hair done. (We went to the same unisex barber/beauty salon.) I would move around and have a 5 minute cut take a half-hour, and I’d still get done faster than my moms. So I just let it be…
Cuz some stylists don’t know how to schedule appointments properly. They’ll have you waiting 30-60 minutes when you get there, make you wait an hour between shampoo and blowdry, and an hour between that and flatironing. Add extra time if you need a cut/color/perm. Sometimes they’ll leave in the midst of your style to get some food. I’ve had a stylist leave in the middle of doing my hair in order to go to the store and get some socks. That ish gets on my last nerve.
Yup! Overbooking runs rampant in salons. SMH…
Not at MY salon, which is prolly 1 of 5 black salons where appointments actually happen on time. Longest I’ve spent there was 3 hrs. And that included the time it took for my hair to be done.
Yes, I’ve made it my mission to protest salons that don’t book properly. I refuse to be in the salong for 6 hours reading the whole last two year’s worth of Jet magazines and listening to mixed gospel CDs. I don’t go back to places like that; there are so many salons in my city I don’t have to stand for that LOL. Last place I went had me out in less than two hours and I plan on going back.
I feel like it happens at salons that don’t take ish seriously. Overbooking doesn’t actually get you more clients or more money. It just increases cutomer dissatisfaction. they just do it cuz they get away with it. Fine salons DO NOT play that mess and they make sure to account for hair processing time in the appointment book.
I don’t play that mess anymore. The last time I did I just left in the middle of it and went home to finish it myself (that’s what she said). I didn’t pay or ever return. I don’t have time to be sittin in the shop for 6+ hours.
I’m thrilled to have finally found a salon that books appointments on time. I went to a salon once that booked me for a press-n-curl the day of a big event. On the stylists day off. *slow clap*
OMG….this is my absolute pet peeve. Doesn’t take a six sigma black belt to figure out the root cause of all that extra time is poor appointment booking and lack of overall respect for customer’s time. Just cause you’re at work all day doesn’t mean I want to be there with you!!!!! But why, o why, can’t I find an in-and-out salon that does my hair as well as my you-may-as-well-bring-a-pillow-and-a-blanket-salon?
On the other hand, my stylist will squeeze me into her over-booked day in a second if I call her with an emergency…so I just accept that sometimes I’ll leave in 2-3 hours, other times, it may be 6+ *sighs*
Last minute appointments are one thing, but how I make an appointment and still end up waiting an hour before I’m advised she’s running behind?? I’m getting mad just thinking about that LOL.
I have a standing appointment and it’s still always a crapshoot. However, I have NEVER left not loving my hair. I have tried salons that get me in and out but I have just been meh about my hair. I’d rather have to wait and love it..
The most efficient stylist had my hair looking nice, but she used too much heat and my unprocessed hair was bone straight for 3 weeks in GA in July. And I worked out. No bueno.
That’s the thing… I can not find a salon that does my hair as well as my “hood salon”. I go back there to fix the messes that the other salons did. However, I found if I go to my salon during the week, like on a Thursday, I’m in and out. On a Saturday, be prepared to stay all dayum day. (But at least you can get some catfish for lunch from one of the churchs going around selling dinners).
I don’t even thinks it’s 100% overbooking…
I’m always my hairdresser’s 1st client of the day. We have a regular standing 10 o’clock. We ain’t never started before 10:30. Most of the time she ain’t even there at 10:30! It should take about 3 hours to do my hair…she almost always has a 12 or 1 o’clock. Typically she doesn’t finish my hair til Judge Mathis comes on (at 2).
Ahhhh, good times, indeed… Then again, my mom did have a small issue with being on time. Either way, thank goodness that a.)there was a TV that had Nickelodeon and b.)the pizza joint next door sold slices for a $1 (and had Street Fighter 2).
However, I thought the idea was to knock out as many customers as you could. Keep in my mind that was only my idea…
for real. that is why it is essential that you like your stylist. my homegirl in the chi is the first person i see when i am in town because her spot has an excellent selection of both movies and take out menus. i don’t even have hair for her to do anymore but her dude rolls thru to line me up. that is some real friendship right there.
this made me laugh out loud. <3 Black women and our relationships with our hairdressers. I had one and he used to have me looking SO good, and then he opened another salon in a more gentrified (READ: white) part of BK. I called him shortly thereafter to make an appointment and he said he didn't have room and maybe call him back later! My eyes actually watered. I haven't been back since. It was like a really abrupt breakup… no closure. *sigh* I should call him out. Lol.
he just left you like that? oh no, booboo. you owe him an in person, unscheduled visit talmbout “i thought we was friends.” he owes you a seat and an explanation.
you right, you right. i think i’ll say something.
thanks for the pep talk, coach
any time. #3 works on the interwebs as well.
awww *blushing*
bumilla, ma’am, you made me smile.
he did tell you to call back, though. it’s not like he left you in thin air
yes, but he said he was *busy*. that is the kiss of death.
Aww…that made me cry.
The relationship is no joke…I had been going to my hairdresser since the 6th grade (I’m 30) before I left Chicago for DC…we cried about as hard as I did with some of my family members…AND she’s one of the first five people I call whenever I come home
Nah…BK style: you shouldve HUNG UP THE PHONE , THEN SHOWED UP AT THE SALON! How dare he? He must be trying to floss like Cakeman’s trifling behind!
(I apologize for my BK Hood interruption)
that is why I don’t fux with most black hairdressers. Ima need someone with good business practice. I plan this summer to get my haircut and colored and I’m going to Aveda concept salon where customer service is paramount.
Exactly. I stick with Dominicans all day er’day. They treat me right. Black hairdressers used to roll their eyes when I would walk in with all this hair. They copped mad attitude while frying the sh*t outta my hair with massive haircuts. No bueno.
the dominicans are cool til they find out you’re natural. then they start looking at you crazy upping prices. i LOVE a roundbrush blowout every once in a while but you will NOT try to play me!!!
Yes! My stylist always pulls that with me. I have to walk in there with my hair in a bun sometimes. I see her once every few month and she always pulls that “it’s getting long, $80.” How is it 80 when last time it was 60? I hate that!
SFG
GTFOH $80… shyt even $60 is WAY too much!!!!!! i’m here thinking they try to up the price from $15 to $25 to which i argue bytch and moan in english and spanish… but they do explain that the price goes up the longer the hair…
jesusmaryandjoseph that’s a lot of money for a blow out tho OMG.. i’m clutching my heart and telling elizabeth i’m coming to meet her
and red foxxthe reason why my hair is long is because I don’t patron black hairdressers.
My hair is the longest (middle of my back…just at my bra strap) and healthiest it’s every been and I go to a black salon. I used to go to Dominicans – didn’t work for me or my hair. My salon specializes in and encourages natural hair though.
This is one thing that I do not miss about salons. I have sister locks which is done in my consultants home. A bottle of wine later my hair is done. lol! It takes a few hours but I always feel like I just went to visit a friend.
Yeah, my girl works out of her home. No walks and no crackheads selling oils and mixtapes.
*snicker*
Sad, but true.
Whoop! Whoop!
I have Sister Locks too
*High fives formerly* Yay!!!
what are sister locks??? yes i’m asking
Its a hair locking system (interlocking) that creates micro locks.
http://www.sisterlocks.com/
Cuz some stylists don’t know how to schedule appointments properly
this.
nodding head.
hence why i have a hairstylist that works out of her home and i’m pretty much her main client.
*gets my celebrity on*
The last time I had my hair braided… I got there at about noon, she finally finished at about 3am. Yep. The whole, entire day was full of tom foolery. Fights broke out, police were called. I’m sitting the whole time with half my head done. Ooohhh, if that heifa wasn’t my cousin-in-law!
This is why I now go to a Dominican lady in Visible Changes (Texas peeps know what that is) in the mall. Yes the mall. I’m sure I’ve wasted about 5 years of my life spending 9 hours each time getting my hair done by my old stylist. With my new stylist I’m in and out. Max time 1.5 hours. And my hair has never been healthier.
Imagine my surprise when I arrived for my scheduled 12:30 appointment and was at the shampoo bowl at 12:31. With my old stylist I’d make and appointment for 12:30 and knew not to even bother showing up until 2 at the earliest.
With my new stylist I’m in and out. Max time 1.5 hours. And my hair has never been healthier.
Imagine my surprise when I arrived for my scheduled 12:30 appointment and was at the shampoo bowl at 12:31. With my old stylist I’d make and appointment for 12:30 and knew not to even bother showing up until 2 at the earliest.
*JAW DROPS*
*FAINTS*
Yeah my old stylist wasn’t ish! But she was good with some marcels doe…
I’ve had the same experience at Dominican salons. I’m talking walking thru the door and straight to the shampoo bowl. Nice. But, I still consider it going to a black salon since Dominicans are often black.
My Dominican stylist is black but the salon is not. That makes the difference. I get my hair done next to wrinkled old white ladies getting their roller sets on their blue hair lol.
No offense but I’m not down with Dominican salons because they will fry your hair off.
or your scalp. my scalp stopped itching and flaking once i stopped going. I also cut all my hair off tho, so i guess I didn’t need to go anymore either lolol
Agreed. I used to go to Dominicans when I lived in CT…My hair is in much better shape now…thanks to going natural plus my black salon that actually specializes in natural hair. My friends here in Philly who go to the Dominican salons have all tried and prefer my stylist (maybe I need to stop referring people so I can reduce my wait time)
They’re blow outs are the best though. My stylist doesn’t fry my hair. I found that at the Black salon. They love the heat and OIL…my goodness easy on the oil ma’am. icant.
true! i just cant get their blowouts too often
If you guys are ever in Philly, I’ll refer you to my stylist. Her blow-dry/flat iron is better than any blowout I’ve received from Dominican’s I used to frequent in NYC. Just please don’t go on my night
Oooooh! Good to know. I will most def hit you up when I am in Philly…
Dominicans put way too much heat on your hair. I remember when I was at a party once and started sweating the guy I was dancing with said something smelled like burnt hair. I was so embarrassed b/c I knew he was talking about me b/c he put his freaking face in my hair (man of another ethnicity), but he didn’t want me to be offended.
I don’t have these issues. My lady uses very low heat. The lowest setting actually.
The Dominican salons here in Philly will put you in the chair and you’re out of there in an hour and a half tops. Plus they have the nice bachata playing in the background. I used to go to them all the time in protest to the 7 hour salon sessions at the AA salons (no I don’t wanna sit in here all day watching church plays on vhs!) or the sometimes too-tuff tactics at the afrikan salons but now that I don’t relax my hair I stay away just in case they hit me with the “mami, this is a deep conditioner” crap and slap a kiddie perm on my head.
Ok, you have officially freaked me out. I don’ frequent Dominican salons (I went once years ago and literally was crying in the chair) but that deep conditioner sub kiddie perm stuff? really? That’s how they doin it now?!
*VSB glitter**
completely off subject here, but there’s something I been trying to figure out since about 9 also. ladies, what the h311 does the different inflections on the “umph” mean? I think i have deciphered at the very least, the meaning changes depending on the situation i.e.,
man: baby, u know i loved u rite?
woman: umph…with the whateva negro tone
or
man: baby, i got a bump on my back, can u look at it?
woman: *looks at bump and twists face up* umph…that ish is nasty tone
This right here made me cackle…
I’ma be late for work, thanks to you!
When I was back in the States a girlfriend made an appointment at her salon for my daughter. After waiting for over an hour I asked what was taking so long. The stylist copped an attitude with ME and told me that I should have spoken to her directly when I made my appointment. So, making an appointment with the receptionist didn’t count? My daughter was five and tired of waiting so another stylist did her hair and took WAY too long. My daughter was exhausted and so was I.
I was mad at my friend for making the appointment and she half apologized, “Oh yeah, you’re not used to black salons. You have to wait.” Uh, no I do not! My money and I will go elsewhere. It’s a shame, I’d like to support my own people, but I go where the service is good.
And if your daughter was younger than 11 they REALLY shouldve been done quicker-SMALLER HEAD! They wasted your time and werent courteous SMH
you know, i never ever wanted to know why or how a woman’s hair salon worked. i felt like it was one of those things i should leave alone…like the hebrew isrealiste angry black men in times square.
Hahaha, yeah I don’t mess with those dudes. Something has seriously gone wrong for you to sit outside all day yelling at people while dressed like Kull The Conqueror.
In 90 degree heat, by the way.
I’ve always said that they wear the castoffs/rejects from Parliament Funkadelic Tours in the ’70′s/’80′s
LOL yeah don’t mess with that dude.
Sadly, I made the mistake of “messing” with those dudes when I first moved out here…smh….wasted about an hour of my life….nobody warned me.
If we have successfully shown we’re not angry, at work we can get away with snark and insults so long as we smiles.
If we show up to work on time regularly, people give extra points because they expect us to be late.
We can make other people uncomfortable by eluding to them offending us in some way. Example: Black woman gets sick to her stomach from a gluten allergy, vomits in the bathroom, but if anyone mentions the possibility of her being pregnant, they’re racist and classist. Two for one!
People will give us what we want while we’re smiling with just a glint of ‘angry Black woman’ behind our pupils. They want to avoid her at all costs. They will give us the refund as we stand there with nary receipt or original packaging.
If we play the damsel in distress game–one successfully perfected by white women–people are so caught off guard, confused, and defeated.
My after midnight typo game is so on point. Whatever happened to the option to edit comments?
it met an angry black woman and ran away.
“They will give us the refund as we stand there with nary receipt or original packaging.”
—
THIS! I got a full refund on 3 computer books that I bought 6 mos prior by throwing up B&N’s 5 year old return policy in the manager’s face. When I read the current return policy I felt so bad..but oh well. lol!
“If we have successfully shown we’re not angry, at work we can get away with snark and insults so long as we smiles.”
this is true.
“People will give us what we want while we’re smiling with just a glint of ‘angry Black woman’ behind our pupils. They want to avoid her at all costs. They will give us the refund as we stand there with nary receipt or original packaging.”
Truth.com!!!!!
I gotta cosign doing anything that goes against Black women stereotypes. I love throwing people off with my white people tendencies. You can’t tell my race over the phone, I show up early, prompt, reserved and professional. When they get to know me they see I talk butu, late for functions, outgoing and ratchet. It’s like negro on the inside, white on the outside when needed. It’s a gift.
Lol @ talk butu. Girl we just speak many languages.
11. Curves: ain’t NOTHING like a black woman! Nothing!!
’nuff said!
12. Confidence: It can get outta hand sometimes when you start half-steppin’ (read: attitude) but for the most part, sistas have confidence & that sh!t is sexy like a mutha. Black women can say exactly they want in expressive ways (verbally or using body language). That’s why you don’t see allo that wrist-splitting or bulimia-type body/image disorders.
They got it & they know it….matter-of-fact they’ll let you know it!
If #11 is not cosigned by every VSB, then I submit to you that they are not VSBs.
“11. Curves: ain’t NOTHING like a black woman! Nothing!!
’nuff said!”
I’m sure there are a few Latinas that would like to have a word with you…
*Awaits Critical Beatdown*
Yeah, because all of my family that has come up from Panama or Costa Rica ain’t exactly flapjacks. I don’t even think we need to bring up Brazilian women (youtube Watermelon Woman, no not the classic black lesbian film by Cheryl Duyne). I’d rather not get entangled in an ‘African Diaspora’ debate right now though.
Rookie. Trying to define black as African American on this site will lead to trouble.
Right. Black is all encompassing. AA’s do not have the lock on what is considered black.
Besides, we know all y’alls black a$$es come from Africa anyway. LOL
Right. Take that “black is all encompassing” to the “coloureds” in South Africa and see what happens to you.
south africa is a very special situation- otherwise known as the exception to the rule- thanks to a slave/race mixing history that is very different from the US and apartheid.
I knew we should have stuck with Negro.
but we a’ight cause we done seen the circle of life, yo…
Yeah, but….its one thing to have them; but sistas know how to move/swivel too. It doesn’t matter what age.
Combine this with #2 (prolonged window of bangingness) & you have a dangerous combination.
@Simba.Africanna
I have seen other races with curves move/swivel their stuff. I have also seen some Black women with curves have ZERO idea what to do with them. But I agree that a curvy woman that knows how to move/swivel her curves and looks like they haven’t age since 18 is a dangerous combo worse than anything Tyson ever threw.
“I have also seen some Black women with curves have ZERO idea what to do with them.”
this used to make me sad, but now i think it’s cute, like a kitten trying to drive an escalade.
same goes for men with thick, long, shlongs and ZERO stroke game. Smh! What a waste!
O_o
*clutches pearls*
OMGAAAAAHHHHHHDDDDD this was funny!!!!!
“I’m sure there are a few Latinas that would like to have a word with you”
But most of those aren’t Mexicans. Is this bogus of me? It prolly is. But say I’m lying. Salma Hayek is the exception to that rule. Ok lemme quit while I’m behind.
Dominican women have strong African roots and a lot of them have very banging bodies.
I aint mention Dominicans. They are banging. I’m talmbout Mexicans here.
yeah ur right. Also put Salvadorian into that too. They are shape like boxes.
When I was growing up in California, my bff and I called it the “Sponge Bob Body”
Guatemalans are usually shaped like oranges on stilts.
#allbad#
Oranges on stilts???? *flatlines*
Wait, you’re from Cali? What part?
LMAO @ Luvvie again. I swear you have me in stitches tonight.
And yes, Mexican women (SOME not all) do seem to have that “not quite right” proportioned figure market cornered.
“And yes, Mexican women (SOME not all) do seem to have that “not quite right” proportioned figure market cornered.”
LMAO! You ain’t right for that.
as the resident VSS Mexican….
i, regretfully, have to confirm this claim. #carryon
You have a typo in there but yes, Indian people have curves.
lol ihatechu
“Salma Hayek is the exception to that rule”
She gets it from her Middle eastern side…
*DEAD* Ya know, I often DO get confuddled at folks shaped like Sears appliances.
Make sure Mama CNotes received my death certificate. She will need the insurance money.
and clean out all my p0rn.
@SFG
LOL! Right?? No need for mama to know that I have a VERY healthy sexual appetite. (shhhh) : )
“11. Curves: ain’t NOTHING like a black woman! Nothing!!”
See Ices Brown. She’s SEGZY!
See Ices Brown. She’s SEGZY!
ihatechu
supa dupa cosign the hate… segzy=no, fleshly=yes.
Luvvie you are so out of order ROFL
Hot fiyah! And she kilt it when she did Dru Hill, too. Girl is going places.
Ices has one big curve…
Curves: ain’t NOTHING like a black woman!
Yessss. We have natural curves too:)
Unless you happen to be Nicki Minaj or Angel Lola Luv…or whatever she’s calling herself nowadays. SMH… I can’t keep up with these kids…
Stress on “natural” though because we all know Nicki Minaj has had some work done.
Of course. I was lumping her in the “Black woman” category, not the “natural” category.
What work?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhFF2CdiJc0&feature=channel_video_title
***someone whose cartoon curves are actually real. this probably isn’t safe for work, btw***
that a** is SUPERFLUOUS!!
@ #11
But doesn’t Kim Kardashian have the curve game on lock right now? I believe I read I even read it here, may have been one of Champ’s post, talking about how the black woman’s curves have led to misogyny and oversêxualized images of black women on TV, but that the white woman’s curves get praised or whatever. I don’t remember the words but it was something like that.
That said, I’m with you. I ain nothing sexier than the black woman’s figure. Oversêxualizing?
11. Curves: ain’t NOTHING like a black woman! Nothing!!
’nuff said!
yeah…this is that thing that keeps me around longer than i need to be. DAMMIT JIM!!!!! its my slavery.
I’m mad late. but…
x___Squeak_______
Black women gt carte blanche to say the most racist sh*t ever… at least I’ve heard. *whistes and walks away*
I heard that too. I’ve never witnessed it through. Every Black woman I know holds hands and share’s her cans of Coke.
Yeah that is an alleged statement. *looks over there somewhere*
See my previous comment. LOLLL
My “Aint sh*tness” is on 10 today.
It’s sad cuz it’s true….
It’s also hilarious.
Bwahahahahaha! Ahh, we are winning!!!
LOL (I’m not admitting this is MAY be true)
I am guilty as charged! I’m THEE worst racist ever and my friends just laugh at me. Atleast I distribute my hate evenly to all races.
11. People of other races are automatically afraid of them. Even if you’ve never thrown a punch in your life – it’s assumed you can and will beat someone down. You don’t have to lift a finger
S/N Love the video! And dude at 1:07 is cute…
this gets me in a lot of awkward situations because people try to hold me back when i have no intention of throwing a punch (i totally can doe). and then i get angrier because i need space to get my point (AKA hand) across.
unrelated: i automatically *heart* you because you have my baby sister’s (nick)name.
Your baby sister has a wonderful (nick)name!
unrelated: I love your comments, you pull no punches. #hardinthepaint
she really does! <3 the world is not ready for baby sister. she is so articulate with her rage. i will just assume that you are a similar bird.
also, thank you.
get a room, with a view, overlooking a lake of gayness
LMAO!!
CHAMP!!
CTFU
first, panama tells me that i need hugs. now you are on me about being to lovey? clearly, i can’t win for trying around these parts.
You’re a fool for this!!! LMAO
:::DEAD:::
SMH…we do have the lock of the aggression corner of the market. When it works though, it works. Never really have had too many women outside the black race try me in terms of confrontation cuz they assume they’ll lose.
SN…I can’t fight worth a damn. But, I will assess the situation, pick something up and knock you out with it. So, technically I’m the champ by knock out even though a fight never happened.
Another reason why I, as a black woman, stay winning
I can’t fight worth a damn. But, I will assess the situation, pick something up and knock you out with it.
LOL. i feel like this is the fine print. #trust
Agreed, almost had to bust open an empty bottle of skyy b/c some dudes were messing with my girl. Since everyone thinks she’s crazy, they thought she threatened to do it. Nope, it was me, the unassuming girl watching ish about to go down.
S/N Love the video! And dude at 1:07 is cute…
Yep.
*sucks teef* he aight. he ain’t nobody.
LMAO…ok den
hmm…. I sense that you are derailing and that he may in fact BE somebody…
Liz is that your E-boo?!?!?!
I mean….he MAY or MAY NOT be my e-boo but as far as all of YA’LL *points at every VSS* are concerned: he ain’t nobody!
*Tips hat and walks away whistling*
I didn’t see this intensity when Simba was walking by and you were making googly eyes.
*throws hands in the air*
Okay Meech. You see what you wanna see. i clearly only have eyes for you (am I thirsty enough for you??) but if you see me lookin at him, then fine.
And then they wonder why a black woman is single. *kicks glitter bucket across the room*
It’s ok. Let’s go over to the naughty black Mormons chat room and makeup.
Oh, MEECHY!
I know nobody will be over there….rawr.
damn straight.
ugh.
YS are we gonna have to have a discussion?
*takes off earrings*
*reaches for the vaseline*
You know what Liz… I am too much of a lady for that, but HELL YEAH!!
*points YS in SFGs direction*
It really was her fault tho!!!!!
Naw, you know… it’s cool tho. I just gotta let it go… This too shall pass.
@Meech MUSTAFA DEAD!
Is wah dee?! *windmill punches and scissor kicks* I dare any of unnu to ramp wid bumboooclaaaat me!
Actually, Liz threatened me. She’s scary and I heard she’s packin heat.
Liz
HE said polyamorous.. earlier in the day i stated i didn’t want to cross any boundaries…
*learned my lesson while walking to the corner*
I thought that as well, but since celibacy-watch2011 is in full swing, I figured I’d leave that alone. LOL
Lol.. I know who that is….
He’s a sweetie too…
lol. perhaps.
i got my own opinions on that dude.
Umm….. (Sonic toe tap)
lol.
awww. e-boo. you aint got nuffin to worry about.
i didnt say my opinions were positive! ha!
*snort* ((munches caramel popcorn))
Keisha LaRenaissance Brown…
He was definitely a pleasant surprise. Not to make his head larger than medium or anything.
11. She gave birth to me.
Niiiiice! I, along with Boyz II Men, love this comment whilst singing “Mama”.
exactly.
but she stays using that as guilt now. “you’re all i have” etc etc. damn, momma. just let me be great.
U too? I thought it was just my mom with the “u kids are all I have.”
Uhm, job, friends, house, car, other family…surely, you have more. LOL
naw, gurl. when she drops that line i always take a step back. EVERY TIME. this woman told me that a few weeks ago because she was concerned that my new career move was ~dangerous~ despite making her baby more $$. i got off the phone with her and sat staring at the wall wondering if i had really done something wrong.
it’s because i know that she REALLY loves me. like, for real real. :\
Can we start a “My Momma Stays Tryna Guilt Me Into….” Club. I’m steady hearing her two hits “When are You Bringin’ Someone Home” and “Why Do You Live So Far Away”.
Heavy rotation on Momdora.com
no matter how many times I click thumbs down.lol, this sounds like it’s own VSB post
“Why Do You Live So Far Away” – even tho this it’s her doing that i am in another country- is usually followed by “Your grandmother wants to see you.” double dose of strong black woman guilt keeps my credit card bill high.
My mama just told me the other day that when I was young (5 yrs old) my grandma would Black Woman Guilt her into letting me stay with her the entire summer (summer after summer until i was in high school) because she “only had a little more time left on this earth.” My grandmother ended up living until I was 27 years old! LOLLL.
i’ve taken to throwing my grandmother’s guilt back in her face saying that the baby jeebus needs more time to make me great, so she needs to get on that healthy senior living lifestyle. mums her right up cuz then she’s happy i’m in church.
My mom’s favorite song used to be “When am I gonna have some grand babies to brag about?”. The heavy rotation of that song ended when I said “If you want grand babies, I can get you some grand babies.” She apparently understood the implications. #Ifinallywonone.
LOL, I’m getting that guilt now. “Are you and so-and-so still together? You think it’s going to get serious? No wedding plans yet? Are you pregnant?”
Q_Q
“Let me call you back.”
Before my great aunt passed away she had dementia and short term memory loss. so. imagine how i felt when i went to visit her and she asked me if i had a boyfriend, or if i lived with my boyfriend. over and over and over again. i aint had a boyfriend since 1992! All i could do was grin and bear it.
not that i recommend this for everybody, but try having a kid…THEN they show up and you can chill out.
Or just stop answering the phone and delete the guilt-laden voicemail messages
i don’t know if i want to “try” labor. i prefer to stay practicing getting knocked up in general.
“Try having a kid….then you can chill out”
I don’t think that that is how it works….
awwww.
*approves this message and co-signs*
Pure comedy…from the How can us white men start winning back our own women once again from other races? article
The thing is ,you don’t own “Your Women”. They free to choose whom ever they desire. But if you insist, I’d say grow a bigger, larger penis, know how to be rough, tough, protective, and fight and F*ck better, Stop being lame, and have some rhythm.
LOL
!
LMAO. Goodnight.
LOL. As a white woman attracted primarily to nonwhite men, I wholeheartedly cosign this statement.
ALL of that is the truth!
Reason #211 Black men stay winning as well.
oh lawd
ditto
The thing is ,you don’t own “Your Women”. They free to choose whom ever they desire.
Borat says: WHHAAAT?!?
so. far. gone.
word to drizzy.
Shout out to the Spelman Women pictured on this post. #130years
I stopped at #2. I was totally amused by the categories for women.
Shout out to the Spelman Women pictured on this post. #130years
SPELMAN STAND UP!!!!! *stands up*
*stands up* *starts humming the hymn*
shout out to their barbers too. those Rakim tapers were fresh!
*fell out*
Respect and love to those sistah’s though…but Champ ain’t right, lol!
“In fact, the only thing black women ever have to “prove” is whether or not she’s angry, able to find a man, able to keep a man, able to think like a man and act like a lady, and able to find the one eligible, attractive, and available man in the sea of HIV-infected, middle school dropout, homosexual atheist rapist goons she has to choose from.”
GAAAAAAAAH DAAAAAAAMN *in my smokey from Friday voice* #shots I dont even know what to say
But I will add that we are winning because everyone wants to be us. They want our almond eyes, our full lips, hips, butts, thighs, rythm, strength and brown skin… but then again like paul mooney said, everybody wanna be a n!gga but don nobody wanna be a n!gga… #winning?
Right!
But I proclaim it’s winning!!!!! (and you know this), and not winning? (as if it’s in question) Cuz like Jay says, “I will NOT lose.” Ever!
Period. the end.
I agree, Mo. Winning to the fullest. Folks hatin’ you cause they ain’t you is winning. Them being hateful is not your problem.
*Buys DC1913 a drank for her comment and quoting Mooney*
13. Rythm: In the streets (the walk), in the club, and in bed.
I think the word I’m looking for is incomparable.
i think the word you’re looking for is “rhythm”, actually
*snickers*
*joints CNotes in snicker fest*
*also eats a Snicker*
LOLLL
tu shea
Touche to the use of the “tu shea.”
Best
Response
Ever
One reason this Black chick stays winning: I got greedy and asked God for two sets of pinchable cheeks. He nodded and it was written.
So let it be written, so let it be so…
How do black women stay winning
1. The smart ones absolutely MURDER the corporate game. Especially the ones that have older white male bosses that take a shining to them… they STAY winning. And it’s not that they don’t work hard, but we know sometimes it’s not what you know it’s who you know. Black women work that angle like NOBODY else.
2. Strength. Push comes to shove, they do not crumble. They might cry later and purge emotionally, but when the pressure’s on, there all in, no falter, no fail. Lifetime won’t be making a made-for-tv movie about them, but they hold it down like no other.
3. When they dance… man… when they dance… there is just NOTHING comparable. I’m not even sure what it is that makes it different but it just is. I remember the first time I went to a party when I was in college, and I saw this black woman slow winding to some Reggae joint it literally stopped me in my tracks #MothToTheFlame
4. Naturally thick lips. Take that wherever you see fit to take it.
5. Variety – I know we get color struck, and hair struck, but I personally just like the fact that I had so much to choose from – maybe this one is more about how I stay #winning
Alright that’s all for now
#1 is the truth, but I’m not sure if I can take the crown away from white women. Sug Knight ain’t got nothing on them. RUTHLESS.
Maybe I see more of this because I revolve around engineering and technology industries. The black women in that field? MUR – DER – OUS. My first 2 mentors when I was a summer intern were black women, and I learned some of the illest strategic planning from them that has ever been taught.
Yeah, I can see that. Mine was focused more on the straight political aspect of the corporate world. Cut throat.
This is true… I ain’t NEVA seent a person cut a ni@@a (white, black or other) throat straight OFF like I’ve seen a white woman do it in the corporate arena… *shivers*
This is true… I ain’t NEVA seent a person cut a ni@@a (white, black or other) throat straight OFF like I’ve seen a white woman do it in the corporate arena… *shivers
Yeah, I love my sistas but these corporate white women be RUTHLESS…like mama’s “before we go in this store don’t ask for sh*t cause I ain’t got no damn money!!” speech. Cold man..
Exactly… leaves yo’ @ss stunned… O_O
@Medium Meech
im actually glad to hear Black women arent RUTHLESS in the corporate world. we dont need to be ruthless. winning aint about steppin on folks or burning bridges behind you to get to the top. thats just MY opinion doe…. #carryon
But you all ARE ruthless and yes you have to be. Not ruthless as in using and abusing people, but ruthless as in being no-nonsense. Ruthless as in you will destroy the person that tries to throw you under the bus, if only to make an example out of them to other would-be saboteurs, and do it in a way that’s entirely professional, entirely reasonable, and beyond reproach.
i see i see. #carryon
Your whole list made me smile
If I was a different kinda woman I’d e-lap dance you just for that…welp! Lucky I’m not that kinda woman then
-_-
Fortunately for you, I’m trying to let y’all be great today. But the day after that, you and I are going to have a talk about dangling these e-lap dances around. In closing
-_-
“Strength. Push comes to shove, they do not crumble. They might cry later and purge emotionally, but when the pressure’s on, there all in, no falter, no fail. Lifetime won’t be making a made-for-tv movie about them, but they hold it down like no other.”
So true! Though I feel strongly that this gift is sometimes a curse…
If it’s a curse (and I don’t concede that it is) it’s a necessary evil, as a people we wouldn’t have survived our American experience without it.
I agree
All true I can’t believe that back in the day I use to hate my thick lips now I love them. Everyone loves them
#3 Tell ‘em again.
I know this is about black women, but nothing is better than a black man who can dance with her. Perfect strangers, but bodies in sync and making your friends on the sidelines hot…damn
This happened to me in Jamaica, me and a guy danced/wined so well together strangers around us kept asking me when he was gone back to his job (he was with the performing sound system that night) if I was his woman. I said no why? They said the way the two of you move, like you KNOW each other.
We had never met before that night…but the chemistry was hot enough to fry an egg on, cause Jamaica is the land of sensuous moves and we still had them amazed. My eyes had started half-closing and my lips parting in the middle of it all.
I’ve also done the elephant man type active dances while out and people think we choreographed it…no, just vibes!
Perfect strangers, but bodies in sync and making your friends on the sidelines hot…damn .
Ooo-weee! There’s nothing like it! I’m getting excited reminiscing.
Re: #2, Lifetime made a movie with Taraji, but she was strong and #winning in it. Chick was like eff the authorities, experts, and language barrier in her story.
Aww… *hand over chest*
LOVED this entire list. LOVED.
#1- So true. It’s funny how romantically the stats say white men don’t want black women, but I swear in the offfice it seems like white men love black women. I’m not talking diversity quotas, just our interaction and personalities.
#3- Nice
#5- Is there any other ethnicity that goes from black as night to damn near translucent?
lols I have to say I think #1 has happened to me before…more than once. A boss WINKED at me once and complimented my hair when I did a big chop and got it Amber Rose short…(these happened two separate occasions)…and I was shocked cause meanwhile some black men were downcrying the hair saying they didn’t like it, cause we know how black men are into long hair!
Aside from knowing how to do the job, I get the feeling some black women are getting ahead faster than our men cause the hiring or supervising manager is sexually attracted to them. Just a theory.
A hood dude once told me something similar. “Man white man will give y’all a chance cause y’all female. He ain’t gon’ give no N*GGER a chance!” I had to wonder back then if he was on to something.
To the original list I was going to add:
11. Black women stay winning because we are the only race on earth considered universally WICKED in bed. People seem to view it as a bad stereotype but HELLO not all stereotypes are bad.
ROFL at your #3. I’m Jamaican and have seen black American men that literally look hypnotized when I dance. I remember one asking me one time “WAITTTT what did you just do??? Do that again!”
I don’t think white women want everything we have, but I remember in HIGH SCHOOL (when the black FEMALES here often teased me about my big lips), a white woman at my little after school job at the doctor’s office just burst out suddenly, like it had been pressing on her mind for a while to say, “I would pay hundreds of dollars in plastic surgery to have a mouth like yours.”
Just like that.
I use to feel self conscious about them but after that I was like wait, if some older white lady can find them so appealing and the BOYS love them, why am I feeling bad about my lips? So I stopped.
12. Black women stay winning because our saddlebags and big backsides are the HEIGHT of sexy to our men, and even other men…white woman are in the gym trying to burn bottom and that part of your thighs that forms hips off…we’re found sexy the way we’re naturally built!
13. Black women stay winning because we have the best natural shape out the blocks…who else can be fat and still have a sexy shape but a black woman? Of course, we would win in the MAINTAINING it department too if we stopped worrying about sweating out our hair and got in the gym!
#12- Yes, I don’t get that. Why do white women not want to have hips? They think it’s shameful to have hips. I watch “What Not to Wear” and the white women with the nicest figures are often embarrassed about have curves to their legs. I’ll never understand it.
as the owner of naturally thick lips. i approve this entire message.
co-sign.
I like this list a lot. I co-sign and lived #2 to the fullest.
Kind of wish I lived in D.C. for these events. Thats about it.
Black women stay winning because, it doesn’t matter why!
1 They are simply the best(Tina Turner).
2 Have a character from being attacked on all sides and still standing on top of it all
3 Handling business despite not having Black men there and raising great Black men
4 Have the most loyal sons
5 Harriet Tubman, Rosa Parks, Susan B Anthony and the list could go on…
6 The most fearless people I’ve ever seen and still retain some form of sanity
7 Sacrifice on levels only paralleled by Ghandi with no recognition
8 For sticking by Black men
9 For having so many odds stacked against her and still overcoming
10 I’m breathing ain’t I? Thats a reason onto itself why Black women stay winning(Haters gonna hate)
11 The first woman was what again???
12 Oprah-idk…think I’ve gone too far.
13 I’m addicted to listing reasons even long after I no longer have reasons to list.
I’m mad at the last thing Champ said because I’m a Black man…it wasn’t funny.
ha
Co-sign on #6. They are fearless.
Double co-sign on #6
#3 is my fave
#6 & 7 is definitely true. How they do it, I don’t really know. #mostUnderAppreciated
Number….8…1…. you know what, this whole list is 100%. Co-sign & co-sign again!
Sage, I officially e-love you for this list. *throws rose petals around*
sage… i fell in ??? with your list!!!!!
That’s it huh? lol… Love the list, bruh!
so, I definitely thought I was going to catch mess for #6.
I appreciate all the acceptance. Its rare that I get acceptance. I’m weird.(not really but people like to think so.)
Whaa number 6? For why? That’s like one of the best ones… now #13 tho… I’m sure that was meant to be a sidenote LOL
You are weird, but we love you for it <3
Okay, Forwan, How you gon’ define me?
fortwo, you all don’t love me for it….y’all love me for the similarities we have and tolerate my eccentricities.
forthree, Sweetheart, I know your hearts in a great place…but for youself can you only speak.
forfour….dambit, I’m listing again and I seem to like this….can a person be addicted to listing???
@Yeah..So, pretty much but since I like listing it didn’t deserve a SN:
Oh and #6 is like kinda back handed as a compliment because its a little to close to reality for my experience with women in general, because of Black women. Because other women get froggy just because they got a Black homegirl that they seent gettin froggy and now the whole scenario can be inundated with rouge(sarahpalin’s Rogue) elements. (Sarah Palin went to a college 8 miles from where I went to college. Fun fact about me that Yall ain’t know.
@ Sagey Bear
How was that? Better?
I love you because you’re wonderful (#nominnie), and because your spirit is in the right place. Your mind’s a bit everywhere, but I can dig it because mines usually stuck on Earth.
LOL @ Sagey Bear! We will give ninjas a pet name, right? (See also: Meechy and Squeakers)
Sagey bear is kind of weird….it implies the I need a hug.
but don’t bite the hand that feeds your online persona nicknames….I may just change the name to Sagey bear…it has a ring to it. Makes me feel all icky and stuff but it has an undeniable ring to it….I’m mad grawr!!! bwaha!
Actually I see Sagey Bear as being warm and cuddly! Fits nicely for you since you’re showing a softer side. : )
I’m literally stunned by “softer side”.
Suddenly, I realize that I’ve been misunderstood to some great degree.
Utterly confused.
Stunned? How? Cmon Sagey Bear! (I just like saying that). You aren’t exactly the resident Ralph Tresvant. : ) However, in your defense, intentions can be difficult to see in keystrokes. Maybe it just took me a sec to digest and filter your novel language. : )
I like you more than I already did….blushing and 5417
as far as being all swooney Todd and what not…grrr, really?
I ain’t about to lie or take an insult just to be in good graces with women or men. So, I say how I really feel and I say it with mah lil bird chest puffed up.
“I ain’t about to lie or take an insult just to be in good graces with women or men. So, I say how I really feel and I say it with mah lil bird chest puffed up.”
…..as you shouldn’t. I respect honesty and standing up for what you believe even when it feels like a carpet burn. However, I’m always seeking to see a balance in people. I’m just now seeing yours (which makes me smile).
I don’t know how to respond to this…..I’ve typed two essays. erased both.
I just can’t.
…is that good? o.O
Tes, its all good. Plus, ’til I was 21 I was a VSV so I understand a bit of your perspective.
You are the #1 VSS/VSV Sweetheart!
spread the love…haha
List is fire *statues Sage*
Thanks bruh.
Susan B. Anthony? ummmm, please have a seat and consult Google. -_-
You noticed that too. To Sage, let me suggest Ida B. Wells as a replacement.
that made me say hmmmmm as well. , ,
I was wondering when somebody was going to say something…I was just gonna claim her just because…..#nogoodreason.
I was trifling for it, but you know….I felt like I got over for a moment. JHAHAHAHAHA, er’rything about that was conspicuous…..ahhhh
Yes. I’ve got one on my desk so I decided to go for it…I almost threw Sacajawea in there too but her name would’ve pulled immediate red flags. SBA skated for a while.
I’m glad we peer review tho…bwaha
#6 sooooo true. I think over the last 2 years and say “How am I sane???”
~By the Grace of God~
honestly your list sounds depressing. Like we’re only winning for being strugglers with no men only sons.
Find POSITIVE things that people actually want in their lives that we’re champs at! Don’t reinforce the idea that we’re the pack mules of the planet!
Its all in how you want to see it.
This is fertilizer to grow the most beautiful flowers…..take your 5417 elsewhere. Thats depressing.
Cheer up & Optimism is free!
i’ll cosign the love being thrown at this list.
gives sage platonic e-daps.
Got a tear drop in my eye #7
I think I have a crush
#5 Susan B Anthony? Was she passing,cuz I was taught that she was Caucasian.
On the other hand…I went to public school in Brooklyn. In the ’80′s.
Naw, I already got called on it and explained. She does not and nor will she ever be passing. I was just ….hmmm….how do you put it….pullin y’alls leg.
#3 Shoutout to Gayle and Oprah
#11 When we have sisters, the entertainment, intelligence and unadulterated f*ckery NEVER ENDS.
Braxton sisters>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Kardashians
Braxton sisters>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Kardashians
Apart from Tamar. That raggelly, hay in the middle of the barn weave-wearing heffa tap dances on my last nerves!
“…hay in the middle of the barn weave-wearing heffa tap dances on my last nerves!”
Crucial Conflict this early in the morn? bwahahaha
Black women stay winning because we stay pushing forward. For every slight against us we just hustle harder until we get there. Double minority, I don’t think any of my white gf’s would really switch with me. I don’t think they could handle it. It’s a chosen job and a gift at the same time from my perspective.
sorta s/n— I read an article about weave hair being stolen from a BSS and rumblings that some of this weave hair is coming from corpses! In that vain, we aint hardly winning, mammas.
Hell…It’s not like they need that hair anymore.
lol! Funny if these women get up to heaven and can’t get past the velvet rope praise section ’cause St Peter and dem aint letting in bald-head broads. shoulda brought your hair. My dad tells that joke everytime I mention I’m an organ donor. “how you gonna see all this nice stuff up here you aint bring your eyes, girl”. I think he thinks heaven is a nightclub.
dawn of the dead lace fronts are not the business.
So “The Braxtons” is good? So not what I expected. I have got to catch an episode… my cousin mentioned this before but… she also likes “The Game” so, you know…
Thank you for not liking The Game. I thought I was the only one. I would rather “Homeboys In Outer Space” in Turkish than The Game.
“hay in the middle of the barn”
I see you are turned all the way up today.
(runs to youtube to get my flashback jam on right quick)
About #9, do vaginas come in non-magical?
LMAO.
yes. other variations are Loose, Diseased, and Extremely Fertile. available at Walgreens.
LOL.
and check out their clearance section, open sores and gonorrhea 90% off!
YES. i’ve had to counsel more than a few white friends with loose yet lazy vaginas. idk but apparently, it’s much more common over there.
bumilla i’m sure its clear around these parts that i am NOSY so i’m gonna need you to break this down… thx
Think Paris Hilton’s leaked p0rn tape and the subsequent reviews her “performance” got. Folks said she looked like she was the more boring (i.e. lazy) lay ever.
Never saw the tape, but since she don’t eat (judging by the way she’s built) I’d assume she doesn’t have energy for anything else, sex included.
*most boring
not more boring
i saw the recording.. i can’t speak on how she is in regular life but during that recording she was intoxicated, inebriated and all f’d up….
are you saying that somewhere out there, women that are sober act like this and get away with it…
YOU LIE
nope truth. thar be some squares with magic pockets and then thar be some magicians with magic P* in boots(YES! for metaphor).
Thats why you role play as the teacher so that they don’t take it personal. #somebodygottacare #teacherdoesteacherdoes
exactly.
well, just between you, me, and the lamppost:
there are some white (and actually asian women, too) who are too afraid to make demands/suggestions in the bedroom/kitchen/hallway as to their actual desires. they just lay there, no reflexes (downthereyouknow),watching the clock, and wait for it to be over from the underbelly. um? what? no. burn some calories. wake up a neighbor. ask and you should receive etc etc.
oh my… i actually thought that was a “young girl” problem but hey each one teach one right
Wow, there are lazy vaginas? I mean I know there are some that are temporarily between full time employment? But is that really cuz they’re lazy?
And how do you counsel these friends?
I am learning so much
gurl, yes. please see my reply to yoles above. it’s a #whitegirlandemproblem.
*waits to see if any men chime in specifically on this issue*
Do I count or am I DQ’d for my exorbitant perspectives approach?
Anywho, I can’t actually comment on other women because I’ve only been with Black women. I’m discounting that Native American chick.
naw, sage. you seem to have settled in. comment away.
They aren’t lazier. I would say its more an overall lack of skill. (relatively speaking) Some can get down! Some are straight up nap time. But that’s applicable to all races of women. Its an individual thing.
I’m discounting that Native American chick .
Liz??
I kid I kid!
LMAO!! (I think she said her mom is the full Native American but I’m too respectful to make that joke.)
Yes my mama is full blooded Navajo (who thinks she’s Black, so you know she extra crazy).
Ya’ll better watch yoself! (o_O at V renee)
My GrandMother is half Native one part Cherokee&Black, one part Choctaw&Black. It wasn’t a serious #shotfired
I’ll say it’s hit and miss. Some are engaged some are not.
The blk wimmiz have been spirited (no Holy Ghost), like responsive, requests, etc. YESSIR!
What in the hell am I chewing on? It looks delicious.
if by ‘delicious’ you mean ‘sexy’, then I agree…
Thanks e-boo, but I’m going babe on whatever that is.
*nauseous*
Yeah….So, CO-SIGN~!!!!
*throws e-salt around for YS and Sage* …Lawry’s.
Oh so now you Tes-the-roasta(testarossa)?
Duly noted
*goes back to the lab to work on incorporating collaborations to diss Tes via WAX!!!*
On some funny sh*t, that’s the car my name derives from (the Ferrari Testarossa + Porsche = Tes’ really long and hoodtastic/unique first name.)
Don’t diss me Sagey Bear, you know I’m just tryna throw some flavor around. <- See what I did there?
yah.
11. VSBs love them!
….yes, I am pandering. What of it?
CBG, is that you??? Lol…
LOL you are WRONG for that!
LMAO!!!
LuckBALady<- i'll pander right along with you.
and what?
Black women are losing, and I say this as a Black woman who’s proud to be a Black woman. (see how i capitalized the b in black?? PRIDE). This list was funny and thought-provoking, but in the end we unfortunately live in a society in which any list outlining advantages to being a Black woman will be strictly funny and though-provoking… not so much true.
As a community, Black women know we’re the sh*t, but recognition/appreciation of this fact is lacking among other demographics.We’re “winning” like Charlie Sheen is “winning”. “Winning” in regards to being a Black woman always has to be thrown in the quotation marks because though we believe it about ourselves, and everyone thinks that’s nice, they also know it to be untrue within the social and historical framework of this country.
I’ll be the first to say I can’t wait until we can say Black women are winning… no quotes.
Negative Nancy OUT. *tucks self in bed*
wet blanket much?
LOL. Negative Nancyyyyy at your service.
Can I blame it on exams??
Actually, exams make me wanna throat chop anyone who even looks like they enjoy life. So yeah, that’s a good excuse in my book.
I never minded exams. They give you a chance to show all you’ve learned. I can’t recall stressting about any (besides that fateful Biology exam…)
*hands you the “Dank sour ass duvet cover” award of the day* Who took a golden shower on your flintstone vitamins? Gahtdamb.
(O_O) its probably WAAAAAY to late (or early?? relativity is a b*tch, boyyyy i tell ya) for this but i just feel the need to make this demand before i go to bed….
please ma’am…… \_
#syad
LMAOOOO @ #syad. She needs to have a seat on a nice pool chair too \_________. Or maybe a church pew |_. Or a sofa {\____/}. Or a stool —> T. Just relax.
lmao luvbug this is why i <3 you!!!!
or maybe she just needs to have a seat on a therapist's couch |\___
Or a park bench |______|
DIES @ Luvvie’s department store of seating…
LMAO @ Luvvie’s variety of seating.
LMBO @ all those different seats. dead.
You are a fool for that one!
Y’all are killing this seat thing huh? LOL
The seats are HILARIOUS!
I’m so slow. I didn’t know what \_ meant until today. Hell, I briefly thought it meant doing a line of coke.
Not negative. Just honest.
thank you
Welcome.
i cosign with the anti-cool.
i appreciate what sheeeeit said.
we’re supposed to be encouraging of all different kinds of comments right??
and i kinda see her point. if we were TRULY winning, would we need a post to tell us why? would there be more articles than there are people in china about why and how we stay LOSING?
sheeeeit gave some food for thought. let’s at least try it and see how it tastes!
Yeah, honest and well-written…why are ppl going in on sheeeeit?! I didn’t know this was Bossip, d*mn….haters made it out today, I see. Always nice to see y’all.
Dayummmmm, even your avatar needs a hug, doe…
LMAO!!
LMAO. i hate that you’re right about that, cheekie! i was studying and i thought it was a nice profile of me but in light of my comment it’s looking more depressed than focused. :-/
guess i’ll have to change it when i change my dank urine-soaked duvet. –> -_-
It actually IS a pretty profile, it’s just that it’s very apt given the nature of your post. You look stressed. lol
Like she’s not winning LOL
Isn’t what you just said based on how an individual views winning?
Say, Black women aren’t winning because everyone is trying to pull them down and degrade them? But I think thats exactly why they are winning. Black women got more haters than any other women.
“If nobody is hating on you then you are doing it wrong.”
Maybe with the cointelpro, the crack epidemic, the social economic caste system and the societal re-slaving of young Black men, I don’t think it is possible for Blacks, let alone Black women to be WINNING overall but individually, Black women, are KILLING THE GAME.
Nope, not claiming that. I stay winning, and I’m black (I just don’t capitalize it cuz…don’t know..don’t capitalize any racial monikers though, so yeah…)
I hear what you’re saying, but honestly, I don’t buy into the fact that society sees me as something other than great. Surely some folks will see my skin and think negatively. However, that doesn’t define me. Our history and legacy as black folks is that we have always had to define how we see ourselves and fcuk the rest of the world…they will either come around or not.
From the Black is Beautiful to the Black and Proud sentiments, we stay proclaiming what others know but don’t want to admit. That we are fearless, beautiful, revered, exalted, envied and desired.
And we get so much flak in the media elsewhere, I’ll be damned if I don’t take an opportunity to say “halye mf’ing yeah, we’re the sh*t when given the opportunity.
I just realized that my first line seemed like #shotsfired. It wasn’t. I just don’t capitalize black or white, cuz I just don’t. Laziness???
*kanye shrug
No shots fired though
“recognition/appreciation of this fact is lacking among other demographics.”
I definitely see where you’re coming from about us not winning in a way but I don’t agree. I honestly do believe that “they” do recognize our greatness and that is why “they” try their hardest to make us think that they don’t think we’re great or that we’re… losers. It’s the mind game that they’ve been playing for years upon years now. As a [unit of] people, it’s been a hinderance… a road block for some but for those of us that have taken notice, it hasn’t stopped us from, as you stated, know(ing) we’re the sh*t.
They watch us, look down on us, deny us and then go and try to be us/like us. I can recall reading a passage in my study Bible several years ago that read something like: “Never look for recognition of men but only from The Lord.” and I’ve held this particular reading close because it has reminded me NOT to desire or even anticipate acknowledgment from people around me and not looking to other races for props is the best and THAT makes me- winning. *shrug*
TRUTH.
*church fan going at full speed* AMEN!
“I honestly do believe that “they” do recognize our greatness and that is why “they” try their hardest to make us think that they don’t think we’re great”
i really like this argument, and admittedly i hadn’t thought of it this way and i appreciate the optimism of it. and i also appreciate that you respectfully disagreed.
It’s “Rah Rah” day here at VSB. If you ain’t with us, you’re against us.
LMAO. yeah i think the only person losing here today at VSB would be me. i feel like i’m on the wrong side of the stadium wearing all the wrong colors. lol.
*hi5*
“I honestly do believe that “they” do recognize our greatness and that is why “they” try their hardest to make us think that they don’t think we’re great or that we’re… losers.”
SAY THAT.
Excellent comment, Hawaii! Love it!
*hand clap* very nice.
Well I hope you wake up winning.
well EYE for one wake up in the morning and piss excellence. so yeah, THIS *points to self* black woman stays #winning!
plus, i’m famous–so im winning here (pgh), winning there (dee cee #threedeez)…. #biwinning if you will
#boom
uh uh..
it’s #BoomPOW
<3 you…
its whatever i say it is….
I totally read your post in the voice of Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. *sigh*
Just wow at some of the responses you’re getting for offering a different view from the rest.
Calling you out for being negative while being negative themselves…
WOW at YOUUU being negative about those being negative about her being negative!
Just how was that comment negative?
And hit dogs will holler. <—That's me being negative.
LOLOL. I’m just playin
Sidenote: I may or may not be drunk right now.
Shoot..Don’t scare me like that.
I thought we was gonna throw down and I was gonna get banned forever.
Hope I didn’t dent your buzz.
Hahahaha! naw just having a lil fun. You guys are the only fun I have had this past week or so! <3
It’s the least we can do.
*sloppy church hug*
@TheAnti-Cool
EVERYONE is entitled to their opinion. and EVERYONE is entitled to be told to #SYAD if said opinion is outta order to those handing out seats. we are equal opportunity around here #youcangetdeezseatstoo….
\_ \_
see? yall can #SYAD next to each other.
Gem you a fool for this!!! No one #goons harder than you right now
what?
*signs* if ya ti’ed be quiet and… have a seat
*sings
Yes, EVERYONE is entitled to their opinion.
I also thought EVERYONE was entitled to respect as long as they were being respectful themselves.
I’d be happy to sit next to her actually but you can go sit by your damn self.
Sorry. I got 404′d and my first comment didn’t show up immediately.
I’m sure the mod gods will take care of one of these for me. Please and thanks in advance.
Where’s the termite seat when you need it?
@miss t-lee – you rang? Here it is \…..
Awww. Thank you, Champ for recognizing our level-headedness, our ability to effortlessly maintain and our … heck- just overall greatness.
I feel like giving a curtsey up in this piece.
Black women stay winning with our walk. Dudes get mesmerized and sh*t with a black woman’s strut. The way we sashay through the malls, into our offices…. now, when’s the last time any men have really admired a woman of another race walk?
yessssss. good one.
the ‘runway strut without ever having been on a runway’ walk. yep.
11. VSBs love them!
….yes, I am pandering. What of it?
(12. Nobody checks a Black woman.)
LOL
Sorry for the double posts*smiling& batting eyes*I just got carried away.
I’m reading this while twisting my hair for tomorrow and damn near died when you started going into hair identity. It’s so not a game; I get more looks as a natural than I did as a relaxed and as a former wall flower, sh*t freaks me out. Also, some dude in class asked me if I was on a “weave break” and just didn’t want to put my other hair back on. T_T really doe…
If I had to add anything onto that list
which is hard as you got all the good ones ChampI would say our sensuality. Swaying hips to music while cooking? Hotness. Doing our hair and make-up before we go out? Hotnessexcept the ugmo face when putting on the mascara.I’d also like to think we’re mysteriously interesting. Wishful thinking on that one? o.O
I swear I’mma hold a national challenge to see who can put on their
mascara WITHOUT having their mouths wide open.
I can!!! I did it the other day and impressed myself.
I actually never even MADE the face when I first started applying mascara. In fact, I do it intentionally so that it’s authentic.
I can! I went through this phase where I wore mascara everyday…everywhere. I got a lotta practice
Anyone in college catch a ride from a completely random person since you didn’t have a car? One girl gave me a ride while putting on mascara and driving a stick. #BAWSE
YES! I think on HBCU campuses this was the norm! And once I got a car, I gave rides to random people! It was just the culture!
I tended to give rides to halfway decent looking females though. Can’t get stupid and get regrets.
For some reason, this made me L.O.L.
On the yard (SU) we used to see someone walking and offer them a ride to their car so that we could get their parking space.
I put mascara on everyday on my way to work and I’m certain my mouth is always open… however, I can also drive with no hands/steer with my knees so I get points for dat.
I steer with my knees too. I probly shouldn’t be posting that for the entire Internet. A guy friend in the car when i went round a curve with my knees said I got skills though.
Then again, I ride bikes too so…
I can put mascara on without even looking *-*
LOL, and use the curler. My eye-look game is serious.
i need both msmelissa and WIP to teach me how to
dougieget my mascara game up. lol.
LMAO… me too! But don’t let that curler be off a little bit… OUCH!!!
I can!!!
This is so true… the difference in attention I get when my is hair pressed vs when it’s natural is uncanny. Just yesterday dude at work, a brother, was like “damn you must have the most beautiful hair in the building”… and I thought well ok, thanks… uh, who’s saving that $100+ salon money and rocking the big-@ss-excuse-me-lady-up-front-we-can’t-see-back-here fro from now on? *raises hand*
yeah when it started getting big I’d wonder “is this too much?”… but now I’m like “eh f*ck it”.
“Also, some dude in class asked me if I was on a “weave break” and just didn’t want to put my other hair back on. T_T really doe…”
What the flippy jibbert!?!?!?!?
Know what, I have to agree with you on the natural hair thing. 24 years of having locs yet folks, including Black folks, seem to think you can just weave it in or wig it then boof…hair’s done. Thanks alot Chris Rock.
And while you’re at it, make a movie about sista’s natural hair secrets cuz I’m done explaining. The next non Black person that comes up & tries to pull my locs to see if its real or sewn in, they’re losing a pinky toe.
I always knew my #9 was magical…
how’s that celibacy coming along, elizabeth? i’m pretty sure this declaration is not in the manual.
Sex is not the only way you can use a magical #9.
Mine can tell the future, and do card tricks.
mine gives weather forecasts
*cackles and snorts*
Mine brought our troops home.
mine can do a press n curl in 20 minutes…
mine predicts the winning lotto numbers
hands out many MANY seats to all the ladies above me.
LOL.
Mine can make a grown man cry (#noJimJones), while climbing ladders to save cats from trees.
Mine proved our President was born in Hawaii today.
hey HEY. It can be magically bottled up too. Like a genie and sh*t…
As for #celibacywatch2011 it’s been going swell. I think it’s been about 2 weeks. Sigh….
oh i see. your celibacywatch seems to be on the congressional fiscal calendar.
i still lub you doe!
LOL!
@MediumMeech
ayo Meech. Y’all had a fight the other day, right?
so did y’all break up? You shd be pissed man. She was flirtin with dude & you sipped some loco and….
No? oh. [brief silence] okay.
*looks longingly @ Liz*
*bites lower lip briefly*
*walks away*
See. WHY YOU GOTTA BRING UP OLD SH*T?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ypAgYYEGMc
lol
I was trying to create acrimony so I can
have an openingbe like “how you doin?”(but now I have a feeling he’s gon see right thru it & be like “back the hell up, son!” )
*walks away before Meech gets here*
Say bruh? Are we going to have a problem? Do we need to take this over to the allhiphop comment section?
*thinks about allhiphop comment section*
//mental note: that sh!t might be a euphemism & you ain’t strapped! You just recently de-lurked. Meech’s got a crew & sh!t
*clears throat. *Tries to diffuse situation. *thinks Meech’s boys might be nearby*
Nah, we cool. That won’t be necessary. Being the VSB & all, we could just ummm…..I mean she’s fine. Obviously. She said sumthin bout magic & I used to do magic too & what not. So uummmm I thought, y’know, I could y’namsayin, just…like…I don’t know. Just find out what’sup.
*nervous laugh*
*leans in. real close. temples 2 inches apart*
Maaan, she was giving ni99as lap-dances & sh!t yesterday. 4 real, bruh. Yeah. Her & Tes! How you gon let that slide, like that?!
*steps back. normal space*
So, ummm yeah. The game is wack!
Nah, nah,…..I mean the show “The Game”. lol
*launches into long Obsidian-like rant about The Game*
YOU LIE!!1
Oh. So now you just gon’ lie on me?
Like I was givin e-lap dances yesterday?
Let the record show that i was NOT giving anybody (unless his name is Meech) any e-lap dances! not yesterday, not ever! /claire huxtable rant.
besides. e-lap dances are not good for #celibacywatch2011
Say bruh, I’ont like how you throwin my name out there and sh*t son…What’s really good folk? We got problems?
@Tes
Nah, we good. We good. Sorry about that.
#MultiTaskingPast3am #ThingsToDoBeforeTheGoonSquadGetsHere
*tries to
hide evidence of snitching and/or not double checking factsdelete comment above *Dang it. Let’s see….who do I ask…..damn!
*Passes by the “naughty black Mormons chat room” *
You know what. I have a feeling Meech has already won & is just gonna laugh at this whole thing
Sorry Tes. Sorry Liz.
*takes notes: #VSBafterDark rules: don’t try to start something.”
*blows kisses* Its all e-love Simba
*Has flashback, notices Liz holding eye contact too long, has another flashback to Mustafa dieing*
*dead*
Baby, don’t even pay attention to what he was sayin! Think about bunny balloons….
or Mustafa dying… AGAIN!!
I’m sorry… I’m just gonna need some time… Mustafa dead!
I like to think of mine more as a voodoo.
YES. I know I could put a spell on someone with mine.
Only thing better than magical #9 is magically delicious #9…aka: Lucky Charms poon…
*DG looks off into the distance and fondly reminisces on thoughts of green clovers, blue diamonds, purple hearts, etc.
o_O #VSBafterdark
Keep your celibate side-eyes to yourself, Ms. Burr. I’m doing me over here…
*Goes back to reminiscing…
LOLLLLL! Carry on….
Now is that with or without milk?
It doesn’t matter if you have milk with the Lucky Charms Poon Tes, you can just open the box and eat it straight up…
omg i think i need a fan….
iCant with you and DG right now….
LMAO!!!
Let ‘em know, fam…
*sips glass of water…
well damn then.
@Tes,
The dudes bring the milk….(oh my bad, mind in the cess pool)
That’s what I was thinking…
I’m trying to preserve my employment.. but I’m cacklin on the inside…
“2. Their “window of bangingness” is much, much longer than all other women’s. ”
- Although I agree with this I try my hardiest to preserve my youth(although I’m in my early 20′s). I drink a lot of water, exercise, use products with glycolic acid, eyecreams. I’m not tryna have wrinkles until I’m 75 -_-
“4. Their hair gives them an easy excuse to not do, well, anything they don’t want to do.”
-doesn’t work for me as a natural sista. I rarely go to the hair dresser so if I start going more frequently with no change ppl going to know somethings up(especially my man).
“5. They can change their entire identity with one trip to the hairdresser.”
Even though I don’t go to the hairdresser when I flat iron my hair I go from afro curly to Malibu black barbie with the long hair.
I don’t know, I think you could still get alot of use out of #4. Just need to get creative
ooh also Black women in Chicago because they bought to get some nice remy weave fir cheap:
http://abclocal.go.com/wls/video?id=8093207
Wait….. why the bald headed black lady had to do the story??????????
this post made me LOL and say “awwww”. both hilarious and heartfelt. ya got me all verklempt and ish about being a winning black woman, Champie. thanks
You know what’s also winning right now? My funny bone because I am cracking UP at the fact that the ad for today’s post is “Interracial Dating.” Lawd…
Those ads get me. The post about internet dating where half the folks said it wasn’t for them but the ads above are all about internet dating.
LOL, right.
We win because we can pretty much do what you want and ain’t nuttin you can do about. Who gon’ check me boo?
lmao @ “Who gon’ check me boo?”
#BlackWomensWinningMotto
LMAO @ “who gon’ check me boo?”
Loves that line, still.
i really need a t-shirt with this saying on it. i stay saying that to my friends. lol
I’d take a bumper sticker or coffee mug-
Do I need to go register http://www.whogoncheckmeboo.com?
Taken…
This is the t-shirt
http://machronicles.com/2009/08/12/bravo-is-selling-who-gonna-check-me-boo-t-shirts/
Ike turner, Bobby Brown, Oj…uh…Jim Brown and white Seattle Police officers who are apparently very afraid of Black teenaged girls.
The Seattle police officers are afraid of Black teenaged girls because Seattle is the largest whitest city in the US….oh my city…white women stay winning with Black men there…and apparent police officers do to!
Have you ever been to Seattle while you saying that? More asians than a little bit.
Tac town resident, but I know better than to think Seattle is the whitest city in the US let alone the Whitest city in Washington.
Let’s be real now.
Like you on’t know ninjas be runnin seatown
saddown with that
Sagey…oh sagey…
Been to Seattle? No boo…Im from Seattle. Born and raised…does 27th and cherry ring a bell to you? How about the valley? The number 7 metro? Im not from Tacoma…not Bellevue, not Edmonds, not eastlake…but the 206…yes the 206…I know people from parts of Washington try and rep the 206 all the TIME…you know those folks from bellevue, bremerton, tacoma always claiming Seattle…but me…I really really am from Seattle…and while I love my city..I do know how white it is…and yes as I said before it is one of the Largest and whitest cities in the US..
If you read what I wrote I said it is the whitest largest city in america.
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2014859409_censusrace24m.html
To quote it says:
“Along with Portland, Seattle is among large U.S. cities in which the highest proportions of residents describe themselves as non-Hispanic white, based on 2010 census data.”
WHO gonna check me boo? Not you….at least not on this one…not today.
But it was pretty funny that you tried…. Tac town stand up?!
P.S. The paper mill is the shiiizznnittt!
I both love and hate you for punkin’ me like this. (can we talk CD?)
I don’t even claim Tacoma….I’m from Cali. San Diego to be precise….I was just tryna be a smart aleck and you gon’ go and buss me all da way up.
Ain’t messin with you no mo.
Gaw, can’t get ova at all…..but really, how you going to pull 206 on me? I gotta at least fire back with a 253.
And how you gon’ pull that Tac town stand up on me…rough on a brotha. You ain’t right…not even a lil.
*Hangin mah head real low*
lol….yeah lets talk the CD..Judkins Park…Ezell’s…Red Apple….let’s go ahead and run it!
You can not pull 253 out on me at all…unless you reppin Federal, Bonney Lake or Spanaway…(goodness..my parents move here a few years back!)…it’s so white out there they don’t even know they white, because essentially they are literally the only ones out there….but I digress…you can raise yo head back up…..we are like kindred spirits…one day we can meet in the middle….Southcenter Mall shall we? one day when i decide to move back….Right now I’m sleeping in my I luv LA shirt…
nitey nitey fam…yeah we are family now.
And I have nothing to say to that…truly…you just keep hoppin around the Chess board on me SO I’m going to stick to checkers.
I don’t like being beat this bad. Spanaway. Nuff said. SMH.
And we were always fam, thats why I calls ya my sista.
again here, I knew I was comin out my trail end and feelin myself….but if I didn’t give you the opportunity to check me for checkin you then how could we grow as a community? rofl
Don’t answer that.
…..let’s build and grow…and grow some more…but on the strength…white women stay winning in seattle and tacoma with the brothas…I believe every single one of my uncles (I have 5…my granny had 12 kids in total) all had children with white women…but not one of my aunts had children with white men…interesting right?
Is there anything that can even be said about that???
Some people do the darnedest things.
“Who gon’ check me boo?”
LOL!! LOVE IT.
Who gon’ check me boo? .
This never gets old!
NEVER!!!!
Black women win because we don’t get that turkey neck thing until we’re like 70. I’ve seen 30 year old white women w/ that.
Here I go w/ the racist comment Alise was talmbout. Naw but for real. Our skin is all tight and taut. We age very well. i.e. Diahann Carroll is 75. But looks younger than Madonna who is 45. Now think on that.
i would even challenge 70. my african grandmother has never worn sunscreen a day in her life. she has false teeth and a wig (for church, of course) but her skin is ~flawless~.
@Luvvie Let’s not forget Lena Horne went gray, but didn’t actually age. 92 years old looking 40
This true or even just look at the woman who are the same ages… Madonna and Stacy Dash (that’s not really fair, she’s prolly not even a real person)… Madonna looks like she could be her grandmother.
oops…same *age
stacey is 45 and madonna is 52 but the 7 years between them are hard like a sing-sing 7
Oh… well den Angela Bassett… yeah.
STACY IS 45?!
*FAINTS*
And I can’t stand that b*tch.
Why?
because I felt like throwing a little hate at the pretty girl LOL,
but she aight though. Still love Clueless.
*stacey is 45 and madonna is 52 but the 7 years between them are hard like a sing-sing 7*
A warrant has been issued for Yoles, for 1st degree murder. Approach her cautiously as she is assumed to be armed and dangerous.
*Dead*
Melanin, FTW!!!!!
YES. I actually believe melanin is the thing that keeps us from straight mollywhopping folks everytime we encounter subtle racism. This makes sense.
i want a tshirt that says THIS!
bwahaha…
#3- pookie is my road dawg all day long. i legitimately have another good (white) friend who is straight jelly on our love. i don’t have the heart to tell her that aside from time spent, i can never speak to her about CrazyWhitePeople like i do with mah grrl.
champ, is this a love letter to Lady Champ? because i think i might love you right now for this list.
@Sheeeit, I’d be liable to agree with you except that I don’t lol
I mean in a society where black women face multiple jeopardies yet are still excelling in numbers how can we really say that we are losing? How many other women would have crumbled under the pressure. When the world stands against us, I love how we have each others backs. There is no support like a sista friend. Yes in the face of all the negativity – the stereotyping, oppression, poverty, health risks etc., in the midst of all of our struggles, so many black women are beacons of light, pressing on and moving forward. I feel for black women like no other, I despise that we face so much, yet I am so proud of us! As a group we could have crumbled, but we did not. I don’t know if we are winning just yet; but we are making gains. On a playing field that is extremely unbalanced, we are coming up….still.
you’re response just made me think of maya angelou’s “And Still I Rise”. love that poem.
this was well said, and i take your point. considering black women’s perseverance in the face of constant oppression and opposition, i absolutely agree we’re making huge strides despite the fact that everyone is counting us out. still not sold on “winning” in the greater scheme of things, but we’re certainly contenders.
Gem’s voice is SO. NOT. what I expected it to sound like. She sounds grown and sexy, I’m pleasantly surprised.
lmao!!!! i HAAAAAATE my voice and sound like a total dork on that vid. but i love being famous, so, it is what it is.
#celebritystatus
Is that why you changed your name to Gem Jones? To get some street cred?
Meech…. *taps foot* dont come for me unless that a$s been sent for, ok?
#ImAGoon
Since I’m an associate Goon by way of my relationship with NY2VA’s sister I’ma let that one slide #everybodygetsone. But you know that I know that you may or may not be a certified NERD. #Pharell
SIR!!!! you are gettin real outta pocket right now!!!!!!
your distant relationship to my #goonsquad wont save you from the wrath i got comin….
so please…. go back to the safe arms of your e-boo and no one will get hurt.
now that i am making moves to vacation with gem
who’s a celebrity in the making it’s official that i am on the COME UP….
#youcanhatemenow
lmao yessss yoles!! you are yet ANOTHER black woman who is clearly winning!!!!
I hate hearing my recorded voice too. It never sounds like I think it should sound.
i thought the SAME thing.
i sound like such a teenybopper. teach me how to sound like an adult, Gem. lol
LOL you are so foolish…
but errr uhhhh yeah, i’ll be holding speech workshops at the VSB BBQ
LOL jussaying.
DIES @ speech workshops.
i woulda confirmed gemmie’s flyness..but the vid did that for me!!
i love my kb *hugs*
gives luv and hugs right back…
Hold on wait a minute… that’s Gem? *Goes back to watch vid*
Well damn.
are you disappointed?
LOL oh stop fishing for compliments, you know what kinda “Well damn” that was. #GemJonesFTW
@DQ
Well played. Agreed.
lmao i wasnt fishing for compliments. clearly i dont take compliments well. besides,i really do hate how i sound–like a dork. so… i mean…. *shrug*
*Shaking head laughing* I swear you all are your own worst enemies sometimes. You do not sound like a dork… at all.
Off topic: So I seent (seent not saw) where you and Meech was gettin’ into it and there was some digital flexing going on. Tell me more about this iGoon phenomena. Is it danger? Who is involved? Do you have corporate sponsors?
thank you for the compliments, DQ. much appreciated *curtsies*
as far as my gooning is concerned… i cant be talkin about it, mayne. you just need to ask about me. these here innanets will let you know skraight up, im the real deal. look to your left, look to your right, my #RGS is all around. we got the VSB and twitter goon game on LOCK.
do some research, young buck. you’ll see what im talmbout.
#RGS mayne!!!! Rock a bye baby!!!!
*dead* @ rock a bye baby
Goons don’t hafta splain ish we do. We goon and that’s all that needs to be said lol. But on the real, ” Who gone check us boo?”
Goonlite #RGS
well said, my goon
Ok I mean I hear y’all talking that good goon ish, and I see you even got a hashtag gang sign, miss t-lee over here throwing it up. But the other day when someone had said, “all my real goons stand up”…
…RGS stayed in their seats. At least… that’s what the word on the e-streets. #butIaint12gossip
you’s a lie.
Ma’am, I challenge your gooness…challenge it, I say…
Aren’t you studying neuroscience or sumthin’ like that? Like, you not only know where the hippocampus and the pons are, but you know HOW they function, right?? Well, a REAL goon can’t even spell hippocampus, let alone knows that s/he has one.
You probably wear glasses, too….how you gon’ call yourself a goon AND be nearsighted??…REAL goons don’t wear glasses.
You’re a goon…lmao…
You’re a goon…
im glad you rec-a-nize….
its true…she sucks at compliments. lol
(-_-)
et tu, Peej?? after i professed my love for you this morning??? psshht
the hair excuse is why women stay losing as well. at least in my book.
another way black women stay winning: phat a$$es. well those that have them.
Nice AVI
thank you kindly
That’s why you need a natural hair sister
oh i don’t have a problem with natural haired women. rock what works for you. as long as it looks good. the only thing i have a problem with are tracks that i can tell are tracks. i have a problem with the excuses women make when it comes to their hair.
I don’t know… to me it seems like the more things you dont want to do that you could get out of, the more time you have for winning
excuses are are monuments that i don’t have time for. *shrug*
The hair excuses doesn’t really come into play unless 1)we’re natural and have our hair straightened or 2) we have a constructed hairdo. Otherwise, there’s no reason not to participate in stuff- it’s just an easy excuse.
Yes, I agree with you. I definitely stay losing since my hair is natural and I keep it pressed 99.99% of the time. I went on vacation last winter and had to decide if I wanted braids or a weave (because we all know aint no black woman getting her pressed hair wet, let alone relaxed hair!) It’s very frustrating because I want to wear a wrap 24 hours out the day 7 days a week (except when I’m sleep duh).
And I’m sorry but I HATE you for the “phat a$$ses” comment. Im a slim chick and I stay hatin’ on slim black women with booties (yea I be lookin’…and?). But I can say that I love black women for this because, okay, you can see a white woman here and there with some booty, but a slim white woman with some booty? Never.
And I, as a black woman, can name another way that I personally stay winnin’. I feel comfortable in the hood and in white communties or gatherings alike. I wouldn’t get a 2nd look.
*BTW, I’m from the group Lurkers Anonymous and I’ve been lurking for a while now. I’m being pushed to come out of the shadows and…well…here i is. Maybe next time an avi? No no no, too soon.
*VSB Glitter*
next stop: gravatar.com for your own avi!
Hmmmm *ponders* …maybe
hey i don’t blame you for looking. i look too. lol
i’m with liz. add the avi.
11. They are members of the Brown Nipple Society (BNS, Inc.) When aroused these body parts are exact replicas of Hershey Kisses (and who doesn’t like a little candy?) Whether these perfectly shaped sets of goodness are milk chocolate, dark chocolate, or (good God Almighty), the yet-to-be-released butterscotch, everyone wants a taste.
I think I want to look at a nipple tonight…mine of course.
LMAO. you sir (?), have no sense
do you know what katsumi means? is that why you chose it? Nice!!! eitherway
Wow, LOL
DIES @ Katsumi.
now im craving chocolate.
THANKS.
yeah, so i love this comment.
*falls out and just lies right here under this comment* LOL
*heads to bathroom to admire and appreciate my own chocolate* Your comment inspired me, Katsumi.
Okay this is freaking hiliarious.
Laughing, as a caress my personal hershey kisses.
“(good God Almighty), the yet-to-be-released butterscotch”
LOL @ Katsumi and everybody else in this thread getting their “VSB soft-p0rn” on….
Great post Champie ‘preciate the love and sh*t.
However, I’m a bit confuzzled, I thought Blake Griffin’s moms was of the 2520 persuasion. Still a magical vagina?
The video made me glad that I’ll be on the east coast starting this summer.
Yeah I’m a little upset I missed the event too. I know the BBQ better be in NYC or even Philly…
I’m glad someone is saying something positive about our Black womensezes. #winningonVSB
okay i just laughed for 3 minutes at the image of a black woman drop kicking and punting little jaheim. lmbo. maybe it’s the cappuccino i’ve been ODing on, but that’s hilarious. almost as funny as “don’t you dare hire me!” eyebrows. lmboooo.
anyhoo. i like this post. and yes, we can be Clara Kent one day and Superwoman the next with just the change of a hairstyle. and THEN take it down and look exactly like we did the day before.
and there’s no better ode to Black Women than comedian Stephen Lynch’s “Vanilla Ice Cream.” love that guy. lmbo. “if you’re a h*nkey, you’re singing the wrong key, it’s the honest truth… the skin that she’s dwelling in must contain melanin, that is the fountain of youuuuuth….”
Digging the Clara Kent!
Thank you Champ for writing this!!! Black women stay winning because of our strength, grace, ability to lead, overcoming obstacles, rising in so many industries, and still looking good and put together. We don’t crumble during hard times and have the natural curves that so many women envy (and get plastic surgery for). I’m proud to be a black women and no matter what the media tries to portray, our beauty and strength is unmatched.
I would add that black women are considered by everyone to be cool. I can wear what I want or put absolutely no effort into my appearance and people find something about me that they find fashion forward.
Having curves? Love it. What’s better? That if I gain a couple of pounds, they always settle in the right spots.
if I gain a couple of pounds, they always settle in the right spots.
Yesss I love this! My weight always go to the right places.
>#5 But a black woman can alter everything from the type of music people assume she listens to the types of men who’ll approach her (and what they say when they approach) just from going from perm to natural
That’s pretty amazing when you think of it. Girls with natural hair tend to exude a certain confidence & I tend to perceive them as having it together. Like they’re not letting anybody define them i.e. they’re not “thimble-headed”. Sistas with locks esp. I tend to perceive as being layered/deep.
Like they can hold their own in a convo on anything from the merits of interventionism & geo-politics to the eternal shoe cuteness vs. comfort question. It is amazing a black woman’s how hair can change how you step to her.
Super human ability to function on 4 or 5 hours of sleep.
Wait no, I don’t have that actually. I need to get my ass in bed.
I think that is more of a happiness thing. Because sleep wasn’t necessary when I was thrilled to talk with my woman. I stayed up 24hrs straight more than a few times on the phone with my Delta woman.
I must have missed that piece because I don’t function right without at least 7.
Charlie Sheen has completely ruined the word winning for me.
Yep.
basically. even my mom says winning now. and that’s a fail. lol
Exactly… anytime my mother and I share slang it’s time for me to move on.
Or when we’re trying to do the same dance…
he ruined it for me too. only because i used to say winning ALL DE TIME before that looney toon came on the scene. now ppl think i say winning because of him. WHY WONT SHEEN LET ME BE GREAT AT WINNING!?!?!?! *shakes fist*
cosign.
winning = swag = hater.
we need new words.
Agreed.
KB,
You are winning with that comment. And I feel your swag. Only people who disagree are haters.
#allthewayturntup
@DQ..
have i mentioned that i want a strawberry sundae everytime you type?
no?
carry on.
? many can carry extra weight without looking crazy like stay puff marshmallow or michelin man
? of course they are not the only ones that can sing but when a black woman sings the hairs on your arms and neck stand up, you get goose bumps and tears form in your eyes. they are the only ones that are known to SANG
? smooth skin… there is something about the texture and feel of it… its just good
Oh Yoles and your self love. I admire that about you. I Love your attitude.
thx sage
You are welcome you beautiful Black Queen you
All true.
Nice
At my college, the Black men put on a show for Black women called the “Thang”.
We gave out massages, had them gourmet food, a few brothas with talent would get up there and sing and whatnot. Nice scenery, candles floating on water, engagements, dancing and appreciation with poetry and awards.
Reason #Umpteen why Black women stay winning (Disclaimer: women of other ethnicities were welcomed and it wasn’t awkward).
They should re-name that event, “pandering for the pearl.”
Perhaps.
Uh, you on’t even want to know about my school…we ain’t have to do that to get the pearl. All we had to do was show up or want to watch a movie late at night. The game is being cheated out there.
*secretly hopes #1 Snowflake will post*
#shotswithasilencer
#shotsfiredinathunderstorm
#shotswithachaserhaha
there it is!
*snickering*
dead at the different kind of shots…
*snickering*
Every time she comments, she cracks me up. #blankshots #no vascetomy
Black women stay winning:
#1347 More non-black men ask how to get/date a black woman than any other women on the planet. From friends, to blog post, to magazine articles. There will always be a discussion or something to read on how to approach a black woman. Should be selling seminars on the subject alone
I don’t think this is true.
I personally don’t like this topic even if I can only intimately associate with one, I’m greedy in thinking they all COULD be the wife to my husband, the rib from my Adam, the Eve to my loneliness. Oh, how I wish I was able to spread to companionship I have to offer to all of the lonely black women out there. Alas, only one lucky lady can have me(at a time) and I’m currently dead over heels in love with *HER*.
I forgot what I was talking about….daydreamin of my woman.
no one (read: white/latino/chinese/japanese/etc) ever bragged to me “I dated a white woman!” – but them folks always step to me (with pride it seems), “I dated a sister!” – like that was a major accomplishment in their life / on their resume.
Chocolate ‘gina got folks mystified.
I think it is more important to survey peoples’ behaviors rather than what lines they throw out there just to be considered edgy and open-minded.
So if you want to talk about who is winning in terms of which group of women is drawing more interest from men of other races, I hate to tell you that black women are not winning in that regard.
Asian women, then, are actually the ones who are winning.
Just keeping it real.
“your hair looking like you were just adopted by a white celebrity” LOL! Now I know what to tsk to myself when I see these European women walking around with their black kids hair looking all tricked up. I don’t deny that they love their kids, but let that love extend to their kids’ hair.
You write the absolute truth about black women winning with aging well. I live in Holland and nothing, absolutely nothing, gives me more pleasure than watching the jaws drop when I tell the other playground mommies – almost all blonds – how old I am. I’ve even considered adding another 10 years to the truth just to make them cry. Would that be mean?
Don’t be cruel and don’t lie. You’ll still be crack free in 10 years when they’re recovering from their facelifts. I live in Europe as well and despite all of their skin creams I’m surprised about how bad some European women’s skin looks. I think it’s their addiction to the sun. They’ll be rocking incredibly-toned bodies, but their faces are a dead give away for their age.
LOL, don’t make the mothers cry in front of the children.
Holland in the building! I love it! How do we fare over there?
Black folks are well represented in Holland between those from the former colonies, the Africans, the Americans and Canadians for business and all the other black folk who’ve come from the rest of Europe. You should really check it out some time. And yes, the blonds notice that we hold up better. They’ve got the early advantage but all bets are off after the age of 25.
A positive blog about Black women….Nice.
I hope I’m coming back to some of these kinds of women in three weeks so I can say some of the same positive stuff.
if you exude positivity, im positive (#swidt?) you will receive positivity back!!
I #swydt.
If there was ever a work in progress, me being more positive is it.
That, or the Davison Freeway in Detroit. They been fixing that ish since ’96. lol
LOL i believe in you, TRL.
you are a good sport, for real doe. you put yourself out there to be judged, and you seem to really appreciate the feedback. or so is my impression, anyway.
when you get back to the states, we’ll throw you a Welcome Home
Roscoe JenkinsMe-party, complete with VSB glitter, confetti, and shooting stars.Fa real. AND! TRL when you get back to the States you better not ack like you don’t know nobody. I know times are boring over there in Korea but you better make sure we see you at least semi-regularly lolol
right!?!?! LOL.
heck, i’mma go to Det to see Muze and maybe the Bot..
Since I plan on being either in DC or no more than a stone’s throw away when this is all said and done (by ‘this’ I mean the Army), maybe I could make it to a VSB-VSS event should y’all have another one there.
YES! Def come out, I know we can’t wait to meet you
Yeah, there are several of y’all I wouldn’t mind meeting as well. Plus I love DC (shout out to Howard U) like Kevin Durant hates brushing his hair….lol
Thanks, Gem.
I was trying to tell y’all I am really not that bad….lol
Dear TRL,
I hatchu and your negative attitude.
Signed,
Truly over it!
LMAO, I kid, I kid…..
No, on a serious note, I don’t hate you. But change that attitude as soon as you touch down stateside so we all can finally talk about how you won one.
VERY DISAPPOINTED IN THIS LIST! With this topic being such a pressing issue.. a constant attack on black women and a even more constant attack on black men (remember the whole premise of these pray-for-black-women-because-they-are-all-so-alone-and-desperate-and-never-got-a-man articles like “why white women are winning” and CNN special reports, is the media’s sick obsession to let the world know that there are no good black men), you guys come up with 10 things of absolutely no substance? You could not find at least one WINNING thing to say about black women that had nothing to do with their hair, ass, looks? You could not say at least one WINNING that talked about her substance, her ability to raise a family, her ability to be a double threat and take racism and sexism shots in this country and brush her shoulders off like the bullets from those shots just bounced right off her. You couldn’t say she’s WINNING because they have the largest spike in college acceptance and graduations. You couldn’t say she’s WINNING because she can hold a household down as good as she can and raise a nation without the help of most of their counterparts. BUT because they have ‘MAGICAL VAGINAS’?!?
If you’re not part of the solution… YOU’RE PART OF THE PROBLEM.
lil louder, couldn’t quite hear what you were sayin…
and try to be more direct
ok, seriously, I feel you, but he did ask for suggestions on why Sisters winning – this is a discussion, not a lecture right? maybe? hmmm? perhaps?
Yes he did ask for suggestions.. and I gave suggestions… but I’m discussing their own suggestions as to why we’re winning. And be more direct about what?
yea – I c u down thread, I feel ya,
(forgive my misfired sarcasm above)
it goes back to superficiality, and why we ‘preciate cha’ll -> if we (as men AND women) can get to a point where we ‘preciate the culture of black / aframer women, and not just their physical attributes (though we both feed that bad habit), then we talkin’ bout something of substance, that stands the test of time.
“VERY DISAPPOINTED IN THIS LIST!”
thanks!!!
This just made me laugh really loud.
same
Respect for your comment and perspective, however this blog is not the “media”. Speaking from the standpoint of actual journalisim, this is a blog and they aren’t under any actual obligation to research and report “facts”. Most of what’s written on this blog is satire meant to provole thought and discussion, not to solve the ills of the black community.
If a dude is reading this blog and is a commenter he is most likely intimatly familiar with the strengths of black women because he was RAISED by one. We also cannot make SWOT analysis and “winning list” based on what a person might possibly do in an adverse situation. Id be willing to bet for every black woman holding it down there’s one fu*k!ng up, so that zeros out to me.
Real talk, you can pick your wet blanket award up at your local fire house.
In the meantime why the hell is your email account emailing and auto-responding to us literally 55 times in the last 5 hours? You bout to be put on our evil spam filter. This is your warning. Literally. 55 emails from you about being on your email list.
is that why the site is crashing this AM?
getting lots of errahs and sh*t.
no.
u aren’t doing this: http://drupal.org/project/misery
to me r u?
lol no but the site does have a high error rate. we are busting at the seams with growth. we are also (in case you didn’t notice) BLACK and our sh*t is just janky just cuz. I am working on trying to fix it
Ahhhhh given the dysfunction of black relationships and the amount of these men AND WOMEN not acting right coming out of broken black homes, obviously we are NOT winning in raising kids by ourselves cause most of the jails are blacks and the most unmarried group of women are blacks!
Please hush. We get downed a lot for our looks and personalities so if he wants to big that up, he can be my guest.
Black women graduating college and such wouldn’t even cross my mind because in my family there are a lot of college graduates…and the point of winning lists is something we can do that it is hard for anyone else to do. Whites and ASIANS definitely have no problem mopping the floor with graduation and progression rates! Asians are actually the ones winning in that department cause their race started out maligned for their “evil” eyes and silent ways in America and as a bunch of railroad workers and such…and look at them now they are not even an underrepresented minority anymore!
Black women, going by the state of a significant chunk of black personal lives and behaviour…SUCK at raising children…else why are half of them failing out of high school nationwide?
Let’s focus please. Black women are doing well in school but women in general are winning with that across the board.
And considering how often black men are accused of not appreciating black women unless they look mixed…it’s GREAT to get big ups for the very black things about us!
and keep in mind i mean suck at SINGLE parenting but we’re not SUPPOSED to be able to do it without men.
I’m beginning to feel like you need a lot of hugs.
I know life seems unfair, and sucks at time but as to why you don’t have Black men, who can you blame?
The oppressive financial system that manages to exploit the horrible inner city education systems, the hopes and desires of being fair and equal, the idea that society gives a damb, the fact that slavery and the ills of it caused tremendous generational trauma throughout the World let alone in the Black community. I mean if you want to talk negatives, we can go down a very long list but the point is we aren’t going to get anywhere doing that.
Black women ain’t the only ones that lose, they are just alive to tell about it. AND I had a very real fear thinking that I wouldn’t make it to the age of 25, Tupac 25 dead, Jimmy Hendrix 27 and all I could think about was all the people who said I annoyed them, said that they wanted to kill me, talks about racism and whatnot….I’ve been chased by racist with guns quite a few times, so I believed the hype and the ONLY reason I made it out of that effed up arsed mindset is because I have THE GREATEST MOTHER in the WORLD.
So, while you are complaining about how Black women aren’t winning, you really are only TRYING to give yourself a reason NOT TO BE GREAT. Why won’t you let yourself be GREAT? huh? Please do and , err, Thanks for playing.
Did you even notice I was telling this person that the examples they are bringing up that they would prefer to have seen are not, in fact, examples of us winning, and that I was actually in support of the original list?
Or just cause I said something to you about your other post, now you’re going to be looking for ways to get me back by jumping on this post bout I need a hug and I”m finding reasons to not be great. smh.
Read what the person I’m responding to said, then read my response, and try not to let your opinions and feelings from interaction on your previous post cloud the issue. Thanks.
And side note, I am not looking for anyone to blame, I am observing facts and the reality for many, too many, black women. My only unresolvable complaint is that my first preference in men, Jamaican, do not live near me and I am not so pressed to have my own kind that I will move where they are, cause I like where I live. Other from that all this black man complaints is no issue for me cause I don’t believe a woman MUST be with a black man so if I couldn’t attract any decent ones I’d be “on to the next one”.
Culture and class >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> race in my book.
(O_O) pissy much?
damn. idk whether to tell you to #SYAD and provide any number of seats (\_ or |_ or \___/) or have a seat myself because im utterly shocked at the venomous and unnecessarily angry-black-woman tone about albeit perfectly understandable points and concerns. yikes. gimme a minute…. *takes a deep breath and pauses for the cause*
ok. ill just response with this: considering the original article “Why White Women are Winning” is focused on love and relationships, i dont think its inappropriate or irresponsible for The Champ to offer ways in which black women are winning in love and adoration–and a lot of that has to do with appearance, personality/attitude, and sexuality.
are you saying that your vagina isn’t magical?
yes, that’s all i took out of this comment.
That’s more than I took.
1. Big, thick, full lips
As a brotha that appreciates the soup-coolers I love the lips Black women have. Even though historically and even in our own community they have been seen as a negative. I personally love them
2. Understanding the BS us (Black Men) have to deal with
When I rif about the police, corporate 2520s, etc. bothering me she can understand. (Although this maybe be changing b/c I find some Black women assimilating with corporate culture easier than brothas)
3. Still checking for and believing in brothas regardless of how ignorant, selfish, and self-defeating some of us are. (This aint going to last too much longer. Get it together fellas)
4. The genetics to have wide hips, bitties, a round backside, thunder thighs, and not be grossly overweight. Other folks say fat but how can she be fat when her stomach is flat or a little pudgy?
5. Resiliency
Women catch it bad in the world period. But through it all they push on. The things I see women go through in the US, Africa, South America, etc. will break most guys. Frankly the things I see Black women (or poor women of all colors) go through pisses me off. Yes Black men don’t have a cakewalk but since we are men there are some prviliges we have that women don’t.
#4: we really need to revisit the “thickness” debate again, cause what you describe here is 90′s “thick” – right? or is this 80′s “thick”? it certainly isn’t 2010 “thick” (nicki minaj) – cause that ain’t right – damit -> we need a wiki on “thick”!
@LSQ
What I’m speaking of is pre-1995 thick not “Internet thick”. I agree there should be a wiki on thick because the word has been hi-jacked and bastardized for too long. You even have men calling women thick that passed thick a looooong time ago.
Thick is regional. Some of the women guys call thick I’ve heard other men call skinny. (Old Beyonce vs. new Beyonce) Also- it’s probably more of a proportion thing than a size to a certain extent.
And- f*ck that, I recognize I’m about xx-pounds past thick but I use it anyway, LOL.
Definition of thick: having a coke bottle shape and you b00bs stick out further than your stomach nor does your stomach cover your vee-jay.
Oh…well ya girl good then LOL
(it’s gotta be more specific than that though; isn’t that just about every woman?)
Gurl, you know some of those tummies have a zip code of their own.
Tentpole, that makes sense. My homeboy used to say, “If your bitties are bigger than your stomach, then it’s all good.”
What about us pear shape women? Not everyone can have a coke bottle!
Exactly. Pear shapes in the building!!!
3. Still checking for and believing in brothas regardless of how ignorant, selfish, and self-defeating some of us are. (This aint going to last too much longer. Get it together fellas)
This^^^^^^
Thanks for saying that.
3. Still checking for and believing in brothas regardless of how ignorant, selfish, and self-defeating some of us are. (This aint going to last too much longer. Get it together fellas)
Men of all races can be ignorant, selfish, and self-defeating, and women are still checking for them. Let’s not hold those traits out as being peculiar to black men, and let’s also not praise black women for it.
I don’t think you personally believe this, but I hear this theme being thrown around a lot, and its puzzling to me.
@Alvin
“Men of all races can be ignorant, selfish, and self-defeating, and women are still checking for them. Let’s not hold those traits out as being peculiar to black men, and let’s also not praise black women for it.”
I agree. I’m the last dude to let women off the hook. But you can’t ignore that Black men not being right hurts our community more due to historical reasons.
Our failures as men certainly work against the interest of the black community. I just find it odd when I hear people attempt to ascribe those negative characteristics to black men only. You are also right on the account that our malfeasance affects the community in a measure of greater proportion than other races, due to historical reasons.
@Alvin
I agree with you. Black men do not hold a monopoly on ignorant, selfish behavior. It’s definitely unfair to make such a claim. (And I also don’t think Humble subscribes to this theory)
(And I also don’t think Humble subscribes to this theory)
Nor do I. I was just compelled to address the point.
@Alvin
Of course I know black man aren’t the only race that act out at times — what I was agreeing to in regards to Humble’s comment was the COLD HARD FACT that we will still stick by and/or choose black men no matter how much grief/sorrow/heartache or distress gets thrown our way from loving them.
#thatisall.
“COLD HARD FACT” and “#thatisall”
You are winning at sensationalism.
Again, I do not deny that Black women will stick through a grief-stricken relationship (how proud of this they should be is debatable), my point is that they are not the only ones to do so.
Some women in East Asia live a life of pain and misery as a result of their feet being bound. I don’t see them holding a parade for that.
“I don’t see them holding a parade for that.”
I bet they do. I tried to search for “asian feet parade” but pr0n came up.
Lmao. Your responses are always hilarious
YES!!
+1
Nice post! Esp. #3.
Great list especially #5.
I completely in love with #1 too. I just didn’t know that
> “historically and even in our own community they have been seen as a negative.”
That’s news to me.
writes just for the sake of writing… and points to —–>
tee hee….
Growing up in a single parent situation(in the projects from age 10-13 during the height of tha “crack era”. thanks reganomics) I know first hand the positive power of a BW.
My mom(rip) was raised in Selma during the 60s/70s and lived through the kind of rasicm/prejudice that I (probably) will never experience.
Now that I got that out tha way…
There’s nothing more magical than a BW’s areolas…(esp. with tha goosebumps around the nips) whenever i’m near them I feel at home.
God lives in the hips and thighs of BW’s that own their confidence…they make men go weak at the knees, and gives birth to civilizations.
@kid video..
i see you….
^^@ KB
Back at cha…
>… (esp. with tha goosebumps around the nips) whenever i’m near them I feel at home.
*drifts away for a second ….. _____*
*tries to re-focus*
okay, I’m back. Yeah, I’m with you on that. 100%
*uncomfortably covers nips with both hands*
There’s nothing more magical than a BW’s areolas…(esp. with tha goosebumps around the nips) whenever i’m near them I feel at home.
Woww… this is a 1st!!! the Areolas huh??!! *lol*
lol not a first…and here I thought those guys were the strange ones… black men like large ones!
That’s what he said! TeamBreast
Blackwomen wins because
1. She comes in every complexion on the planet
2. Every other woman on the planet is trying to copy her body parts (ask any plastic surgeon)
3. The only women on the planet who can make hair its own sub culture.
4. Her neck has to be registered as a deadly weapon
5. made “thick” , “phat”. and “big boned” sexy
6. The only group who still support black men when they know their options will treat them better.
Now the neck being registered as a weapon was funny lol
“4. Her neck has to be registered as a deadly weaponR