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Black Man Who Wants To Be Dominican Dates Puerto Rican Who Wants To Be Black

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I was away from my computer for much of the day on a journey that took me to quite a few places, including The Container Store. Which although I’d never actually been there until today, has always fascinated me.

I first heard about it in a Bill Burr stand-up routine over a decade ago, in a bit where he joked about useless weekend activities his girlfriend made him do. And I thought it was a store he made up specifically for that joke. Because the idea of an entire freakin store devoted to shit you put other shit into sounds like some shit a comedian would invent for a routine.

But, lo and behold, The Container Store is real. Well, I’ll now entertain the possibility of it being real. I still haven’t actually stepped inside of one to verify its realness. I happened to be in a store next to The Container Store today, but I didn’t go into The Container Store because a part of me wishes to continue to believe that it really is a fake store. That you’ll walk in, and it’s nothing but walls filled with TVs airing that same Bill Burr joke on repeat. I just refuse to fully believe that there’s that many different variants of fucking Tupperware. Maybe, perhaps, it’s some Kafkaesque/peak meta-type shit, and the store itself is actually the container. (Deep, I know.)

Anyway, while out today I also saw that Drake and Jennifer Lopez are apparently dating now. Good for them!

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at Or don't. Whatever.

  • L8Comer

    I love the container store ?

    • miss t-lee


    • PinkRose

      Y’all should know those containers leach chemicals when microwaved.

      • L8Comer

        Good thing I only microwave my glass Tupperware.

      • PDL – Cape Girl Shero

        I warm food up in my convection toaster over. I cook using my convection stove. I RAAARELY use my microwave.

        • L8Comer

          Me too. I try to limit my use as much as possible. When I pack lunch for work tho I end up using the microwave

          • PDL – Cape Girl Shero

            I’m guessing the most I use the microwave is probably at work for lunch, too. Sometimes I’ll take leftover take out or spaghetti or soup. That’s not that often tho. Others times it’s a sandwich or something simple.

      • Gibbous

        I use pyrex in the microwave. I love that I can get new lids when I lose them/dog chews them. Every other brand comes in sets.

      • MsSula

        Who puts plastic containers in the microwave? These are used to STORE stuff not heat them up.

        • I do. Sue me.

          • MsSula

            You won’t say PinkRose did not warn you though. Loll.

        • PhlyyPhree

          Alas, I do. I guess I’m gonna die anyway so…..

        • PinkRose

          Frozen dinners typically come in plastics containers.

    • Gibbous

      I buy the sweater and boot boxes to store my fabric in. You can get them by the dozen. I also dream of the day I can have an elfa closet!

      • SororSalsa

        Ooh, yes! If I got an elfa closet for Christmas, I would be done. Just bury me in it!

    • MsSula

      That’s my store.

      Grabbing coffee at Starbucks (or Grand Lux Cafe) and strolling around all the Post Oak stores ( Nordstrom Rack, Marshall’s, The Container Store) made up many of my Saturday morning routines in the H.

      • Yay Radley

        I love browsing Whole Earth Provisions. So hipster-y and fun.

    • Cleojonz

      Me too, I can fully admit though that it’s a pretty girly sentiment and it’s probably a certainlevel of h*ll for men if they ever get dragged in there lol.

    • SororSalsa

      Just bought a box to store my ornaments and wrapping paper. Going to pick that bad boy up tomorrow. I am WAY more excited about that than New Years Eve.

      • L8Comer

        Lolol. You can get so many things there! I love the kitchen stuff as well

  • Lex


  • L8Comer

    I don’t believe they’re dating either

    • miss t-lee

      Publicity stunt for 1000.

  • BatmansExWife

    The Container Store is great! I applied to work there a few years ago because the pay is pretty good.

  • Shott3r

    97.8% chance that photo is a still from a music video. They are supposedly working on some new music together. And floating the idea they are dating is easy publicity. Which we are all doing our part in.

    • marwilli

      While you may be right, you’re also no fun for that.

    • SororSalsa

      That coquettishly cocked eye from Drake should let you know that this is ALL about that publicity. That eye is saying, “Rih Rih….you know we just playin, right???”

  • BatmansExWife

    Oh, and I doubt they are dating. Weird.

    • He’s going to ape the Latinidad sound in 2017.

  • This is the perfect “response” to this stupidity – thank you

  • Photoshop’s a helluva drug

    Well they have us looking for their new music. Nice cheap advertising.

  • chilly2

    Container Store = first world “problem”.

  • PDL – Cape Girl Shero


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