Summertime is here and that means that the insane heat is going to be messing with people’s good judgment and common sense. Lucky for you, I, Panama Jackson, am here to provide some do’s and don’ts for the summertime, though really, these rules can apply all year. I’m all-purpose like that.
Follow me.
Do be conscious of the fact that all people cannot wear all things. If you are a 300 pound woman, you cannot wear a size 2 anything. With that in mind…
Don’t be afraid to be fat if you are. All women aren’t intended to wear tight clothing. If you’re of gut, cover it up. You shouldn’t wear form fitting clothing if you haven’t got any form. Newsflash: Your knockers should be up-top and differentiable from your stomach. Two sets of boobs works great for the circus. Life? Not so much.
serial mom download If you must wear short shorts, do tackle the spiderwebs, ladies. I’ve actually seen a chick who looked like she had a mop in a headlock THRU her shorts. A little minor gardening can go a long way.
And fellas, don’t wear short shorts. I’m aware with the current skinny jeans phenomenon that the gay look is in. It is a bad look.
Do enjoy the lovely outdoors.
Don’t f*ck it up by shooting somebody. You know the crime rates increase in the summertime because ninjas get hot and agitated. Calm the f*ck down.
Do use lotion on your flour-kickers if you must wear sandals. This rule does not apply to white people so much, though I do suggest using lotion on your feet anyway. But that’s more for health and not aesthetic reasons.
And along those lines…
Don’t overdo the baby powder, especially on the chest region. Not only do I not understand it, but you will walk around looking like you’re about to be put in a deep fryer. Again, not a good look.
Speaking of ungood looks…
Do make sure that you don’t try too hard to bring certain dead styles back. Like speedos. Once again, with the whole 80’s fashion faux-pas problem resurfacing, who knows what’s on the horizon.
Do wash your cars because there is nothing worse than driving around in the summer with a dusty ride. Women at bus-stops can’t really appreciate a dusty-mobile. At the same time…
…don’t write anything overly obscene on anybody’s dusty car. A simple “wash me b*tch” or “this f*ckin’ car is dusty as f*ck” will suffice.
Do make sure that your shoe game is in check. Keep them clean, especially your Air Force 1s (or Uptowns or Coke Whites, whatever you call them). For the life of me I’ll never understand why any grown man would walk around wearing shoes looking like they survived Vietnam. Women notice shoes, fellas.
As a caveat to a former one for the ladies:
Don’t wear shoes that are too small for your feet to handle. If you need to understand geometry and calculus in order to get your feet comfortably into your shoes, shoot yourself. Or if you’re not the violent type, just get some bigger shoes, sasquatch.
Do
make sure you summertime mackin’ game is intact. Please fellas, practice your game on minor league women you really don’t want before you go taking it to the big leagues. You make all men look bad when you have bad summertime game.
I realize that last one was bit jacked up and implies that some women should have game “practiced” on them. There is no set guideline for who the batting practice chicks are. Just assume you aren’t one. Mmkay, ladies?
Don’t deal with losers with zero game, ladies. It will have repercussions and reverberations for years to come on some sorry sap who really does like you. Feel free to clown a lame cat though. But give yourself a quota, only like, one a week or something.
Do go to a BBQ.
Don’t burn down a park. Smokey the Bear says only you can prevent forest fires. Hey, did anybody else ever notice that Smokey was always on the scene of forest fires? I’m not saying he lit them himself, but if there’s no fires he kind of doesn’t have a career now, does he? Think about it.
Do download the poseidon adventure movie enjoy the summer.
Any other dos and don’ts for the summertime we need to address?
Share.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3
Admin Note: You’re going to hate these soon. We’re going to constantly remind you that between now and July 25th, you TOO can nominate VSB for any of various awards for the 2009 Black Weblog Awards. Love us and never leave us alone. Thank you and goodnight.
Do make sure your hygiene game is on Ko.be type status- calm, cool, and Confident. If you sniffing around thinking it Might be you, it’s you!
@melekaj, **AGREED**
@melekaj, hmm…when i think Kobe status I think bad hygiene that’s covered up by a fake facade…
…basically, Kobe is Febreeze.
@Panama Jackson, …basically, Kobe is Febreeze.
lol! that is the best description of Kobe i’ve ever heard.
@Panama Jackson,
…or axe
@The Champ,
LOL. Kobe just looks like he smells like axe deordorant.
@Cheekie,
and white mountain chick that let 5 dudes nut in tha draws
@Panama Jackson, i really laughed hard at that comparison
If you are going to be in the sun for a long time, remove your sunglasses for a bit. There is nothing worse than the raccoon tan you get from wearing glasses while in the sun.
Use deodorant. This is self-explanatory.
Do something to your feet. A busted pedicure is inexcusable any time of the year but especially so in the summer. Get your toes done – or do them yourself – every two weeks, at a minimum!!!!
Ladies: perfect two humidity defyin’, no frizz hair styles and work them to death. Busted hair, all shrunk up from the humidity is not the business. I don’t care if you’re natural – I am too! – no excuse to be looking like ya runnin north to freedom just cuz it’s hot outside.
@iloVEGrits, summer time is the best time to be natural, what’s the point of straight hair if its gonna frizz up, just embrace it. i know this isn’t a hair thread, but aside from mixed chicks, i love
Olive Oil Moisturizing Hair Lotion (organic root).
@overit,
Yeah, that stuff truly works miracles. I use their oil sheen, shampoo, and conditioner as well. And I love the way it smells!
@overit,
“@iloVEGrits, summer time is the best time to be natural, what’s the point of straight hair if its gonna frizz up, just embrace it. i know this isn’t a hair thread, but aside from mixed chicks, i love
Olive Oil Moisturizing Hair Lotion (organic root).”
***filed under “times when overit obviously confused vsb for nappturality”***
@iloVEGrits,
Deodorant and hygene is so necessary. The only thing worse than smelling someone that smells like boiling garbage truck juice is BEING the person that smells like boiling garbage truck juice. Chances are if you have been in 3 or more different places and you keep smelling a similar stank smell…it’s time to go home.
@SAULE WRIGHT, you know, i often wonder if people really don’t know that they smell…OR..are they just that bad of a person to know they’re funking like jamaica yet they continue invading people’s personal space from 10 feet away anyway.
i want to believe in people. maybe some folks are just nosedeaf.
@Panama Jackson,
smells dim over time, so i can see how someone smelling their same stank ass smell over and over again can be oblivious to it. this is why i have no problem telling strangers they smell like sh*t. its your duty as a citizen
@Panama Jackson,
I file all those folks who don’t smell themselves under the same folks that swear they have a good voice in American Idol auditions, causing Simon to roll his eyes and set the record straight.
Them mofos know they can’t SANG! Same with the smelly folks. I swear, some people just need those smelly dangling lines over their head permanently, like in a comic strip. To warn people before they get too close.
@iloVEGrits, “humidity defyin’, no frizz hair styles ”
Any suggestions? Sharing is caring.
@iloVEGrits, no excuse to be looking like ya runnin north to freedom just cuz it’s hot outside
CTFU!!! oh VEG how I luv thee… let me count the ways.
@pgh muse, so count ‘em already.
Sistahs!
GIVE THE WEAVE A REST! If you low budget on your extentions, that shyt will matt up on you, and if you got that good Indian natural, and your roots rebel against the humidity… it just all turns out to be a hott asz mess!
There is nothing with going natural for the summer time. If you picky… shave that shyt off get you some earrings and go Badu wit it… If you got a little bit, bust out the ole school pink and black sponge rollers, and if you have a little hang time on your lovely tresses, dont be afraid of heated rollers, or pin curls with bobby pins( if you cant sleep with rollers in your head) Pony tails, can be sleek and sophisticated, and you can find an abundance of acessories for you hair at the local GBSS ( ghetto beauty supply sto)…. To my dear lace front divas…. Take that shyt off and give that scalp some air…. that wig smell is almost equivilant to that “dred” smell, except worse!.. at least a person with dreds can get some circulation up top.. ( and yall know im not talking about the new do fashionable dreds… im talking bout them “real dreds”.. they may not stink, but I definitly would not say that the smell is plesant). Rock your summer glow ladies, and get your feet and heels together. What is the point of spending 69.99 on your jimmy choo “like” 6 inch backless strappy peep toe platforms if the back of your heels look like the cracked Nevada desert in the summertime during a fugged up drought?? WTF? Crusty heels can kill your ENTIRE look and all the effort you put into it.
Know your personal lotion level… Me personally ( living in the very humid south) I only have to moisturize hands, feet, knees, and elbows during the summer. Make sure that you know your ash spots ( to my darker complected fam… please dont forget to moisturize around your mouths PLEASE).. I live in the south, so it summer most of the year… there are soooooo many comments i can make to this post.. i guess i will pause for now! lol!
@Laneianna,
LMFAO @ Know your personal lotion level
@Laneianna,
“to my darker complected fam… please dont forget to moisturize around your mouths PLEASE”
Lol,I’m lighter and a lot of times I have the” looks like I just ate a powdered donut” or “made out with the Pillsbury Doughboy” look too.
LMAO!!
*Do make sure that when the temp rises that you arent walking around smelling like a steak & cheese.
*Ladies Do make sure that you arent walking around with winter boot feet in summer sandals.
*Don’t be afraid of a razor, Nair, clippers, or waxing. Nappy chest hair is gross fellas. Wads of hair in your pits ladies is shameful.
*Fellas Don’t rock socks & flip flops IT IS NOT A GOOD LOOK!
*Do not walk around with a wash rag to wipe sweat or to wear on your head to shade you from the sun.
*Do not mix liquor and the sun!! It only causes violence. I think they should start labeling bottles with this warning!!
@Yaa,
Feeling this post but I gotta a question, as a brother who sweats alot; how can I get all the sweat of me without a little towel? I look like I run through the Sahara with a suit when I’m outside for five min in 60 degree weather, if you have a solution hit me
@Toussaintthefree,
Iono why NOT have a towel, a sweaty brother gets about as much rhythm as a 2520 listening to the purcalator. Get yo towel fam, and grab me one too.
@SAULE WRIGHT,
I agree! Sweating is not cute! I hope she means don’t wear it on your shoulder or hanging out your back pocket so everyone knows that you have it, but please do carry one if you are prone to sweat!
@Ms. T,
yea i keep a towel on my head jus ta shield the sun tho it be hot in cali its gonna be in tha 90′s 2day shiiii
@BLUNTBLAZER, 90′s HA..It is supposed to hit 101 in some parts of TX today! Feeling like we touching the gates of H*LL!
@Toussaintthefree,
Nah, I think some dudes NEED the towel. The sweat’s gotta go somewhere. Better on the towel than all over the people shorter than you!!
@Me fail english?, agreed. Eww.
@Me fail english?,
“Nah, I think some dudes NEED the towel. The sweat’s gotta go somewhere. Better on the towel than all over the people shorter than you!!”
lol…why did this make me think of patrick ewing?
@The Champ,
Ugh@ his ugly sweat. I bet if his sweat drips on you, you start looking like him.
Terminator Me fail english, EXCELLENT!
@Toussaintthefree, It’s not the towel but the way its carried. Walking around with a big towel over your shoulder is like walking around with pink rollers or a shower cap in my opinion. Why not a handkerchief or bandanas that can be pulled discreetly outta yo pocket (or purse)…used…and put back? This is what I was taught & what I teach my kids but…to each his own I guess.
@Yaa,
I hear what your saying. Something about it looks very “home-like”, but hankies aren’t as absorbent. Plus smthg about putting a sweaty, wet cloth in my cool, dark purse doesn’t seem hygienic.
@Me fail english?, True but if you have to use a towel…can you just put it away? There is something about walking around with a bathtowel that seems gross as well.
@Yaa,
not a big a$$ bath towel like you goin to the beach but one of those towel you use to dry ya hands.
@Yaa, you may have a point. be on the look out for Panama’s Designer Summertime Sweat Towels…for Men. Coming soon to a swap meat/flea market near you.
or Asian-run Black hair supply store.
@Yaa,
I so saw someone at the pool donning flip flops and socks. SMH.
@chaoticdiva,
No you didn’t! wth?
@iloVEGrits, Flip Flop and socks is my biggest summer pet peeve, i live in South Florida and hood figgas wear that mess everyday, it should be banned.
@JamaicanGirl,
Girl, when I was in Miami, I saw dudes in full length jeans, socks, sneakers a wife beater and two tees…on the beach! Hahaha!
@Me fail english?,
i hate sandals and flip flops guys should not wear flip flops and some girls shouldnt either
@iloVEGrits,
So did! AND he had on all black. And a backpack. Was grown as h*ll. And it was 87 sweltering sunny degrees, no breeze.
@chaoticdiva, flip flops and socks is the business. best fashion idea since writing on butts.
@Yaa,
*Do not walk around with a wash rag to wipe sweat or to wear on your head to shade you from the sun.
Man please!!! It was 104 yesterday…this is how I get down.
@miss t-lee, Really??? I use a handkerchief that I keep tucked in my purse.
@Yaa,
Yes really…especially if I know I’m gonna be outdoors for a bit.
100 plus heat ain’t no punk.
@miss t-lee,
Girl tell ‘em!
I don’t sweat a lot… but I could totally understand why someone would do that. This Texas weather does NOT play…. then you get into the office and it’s cold as Saskatchewan in winter… damn 2520′s *smh*
@Sula,
I already know you feel my pain…ya’lls humidity down that way is way worse than ours.
@miss t-lee,
LOL…for real. I’m definitely sweat prone. I even try not to do the downtown strut (i.e. walk super fast like everyone else in a rush) when I’m going to work, but sometimes I can’t help it. I just don’t know how to walk slow down here. I pay for it when I get in the building though. lol
Which reminds me…I have a major help question…will write it below in a new comment.
@Cheekie,
Haha! you sound like me! Elevator be feelin like Satan’s armpit. They aint gots NOOO air circulation.
Then I gotta do my cool off jig in the bathroom so ppl don’t make smart remarks like “Were you in rush to work?”
@Me fail english?,
*in-tune with the above*
@Yaa,
“Nappy chest hair is gross fellas.”
So its cool for men to be waxing and shaving chest nowadays. Seems pretty suss to me, NTTAWWT
@Peysonic Temple #69, i’m with you. i’m gonna need to know when all this changed. i know women like a well-groomed man and all, but if you met a dude who told you he waxed, you wouldn’t side eye him?
@Panama Jackson,
I sure would. A guy I used to date told me he waxed his chest. That moment was the beginning of the end.
@Panama Jackson,
Chest hair on men is pretty hot (it must be my love of men from the 1970′s, though Iwasn’t born until ’78) as long as it’s not like Alec Baldwin or Robin Williams.
@pinksghetti,
We aint talkin regla ol’ chest hair, tho. We talkin’ tacomeats!
@Me fail english?,
i got tats(esp one of jessica rabbit-she dont look good hairy) so i shave the chest maybe like once a year a do the underarms to i hate havin a afro under my arm. hint deodorant cant get thru a fro
@Me fail english?,
Oh ok, I just don’t want to see too many men looking like that belong in one of those boy bands who always have smoove chests even when they are in their 20′s.
@Peysonic Temple #69,
agreed, men shaving “body” hair is def suss to me. Unless of course, in late night boredom, I’m the one who did the shaving.
Completely different.
@Peysonic Temple #69,
if a guy has a tat on his chest, he should not have to part his chest hair to be able to see it. seriously, chest hair is ok, just keep it cut low or shave it off.
1. don’t have so much hair on your chest that your girl can cornrow it…that’s not what’s hot in these here skreets. please&thankyou
@Yaa, i’m with the masses. the towel thing is a must. i used to think this was a southern thing b/c growing up, we ALWAYS rocked hand towels to keep the sweat off. hell, if you didn’t have one you were often mad at yourself.
when its 100 degrees outside, and the humidity is damn near on summer shower status, you need something to sop up the sweat.
@Yaa,
*Fellas Don’t rock socks & flip flops IT IS NOT A GOOD LOOK!
this was my go-to weekend campus outfit for my first two years of college. afterwards, i graduated to a black beater, jeans, and mac and cheese tims
@The Champ,
I never minded flip flops and socks. I think you shouldn’t go to the movies and restaurants in em. But if you’re just making a quick run to Target? meh.
@Yaa,
I dont mind a man with nappy chest hair… I wouldn’t say that hairy men are my type, but i think man hair is very masculine. And if you got u a mandingo with roots a lil closer to the muthaland.. bee-dee-bees are just something that is going to come with the package. This doesnt have anything to do with the post, but there are certin things about men that I dont mind… chest hair, receding hair lines, ugly feet(in referance to womens feet)…… those are just some things that men come with that I can appreciate. I am NOT into the metro dude!
@Laneianna,
I am NOT into the metro dude!
Neither am I. I went to a fashion show the other day and all the men were wearing capris/ cropped pants! So not cute!!!
i really think we need a thread on deodorant alone. very few things annoy me, but the chucks of cottage cheese stuck in the stubble of your armpits NEED TO GO. make me sick! why on earth can’t you just take 2 minutes out your morning routine (which you clearly needto revisit) and handle that? i’m so tired of seeing that mess, and i have to say…the last few offenders have been sistas. i just need it to stop, and i don’t know how.
*sacramental emergency*
@overit, start a campaign. that’s how you stop it.
and call steve harvey and michael baisden, for some odd reason, people actually respect their opinions.
@Panama Jackson,
lol.
I just respect that Michael Baisden uses “fragganackle bull” on the regular.
@overit,
“i really think we need a thread on deodorant alone. very few things annoy me, but the chucks of cottage cheese stuck in the stubble of your armpits NEED TO GO. ”
This, as they say, is what’s up.
I especially hate the chicks that overly flaunt their armpits in Facebook pics and you can see the deoderant chunks hanging on to your armpit creases for dear life. Brush that ish off or something…you look diseased.
Furthermore, deoderant companies need to stop making that type of chunky residue deoderant ANYHOW.
@Cheekie,
lmao@ flaunting your armpits!!!
@Me fail english?,
thas why i shave um cause i like sportin the basketball jerseys/wifebeaters jus cant do it and girls should know better and if ya gonna shave shave all the way the deodarant can get stuck in the stuble also
in other semi-unrelated news….
I know someone asked this already, but I don’t remember the answer (sawwy) … when nominating y’all, there are three fill-in-the-blank thingees – “blog name,” “blog url” and email —- do they want yall’s email ( the contact@verysmartbrothas.com) … or mine?
I should prolly go with my instincts and put my email…. but i’m afraid. LOL. thanks
@Selah,
This answer would be very helpful. I went yesterday, too, and wasn’t sure what to put.
Can someone help us short-bus peoples?
@luvtheshoes, i’m on the short bus too, cuz i honestly have no freakin’ clue. i usually leave stuff like this to Liz to answer.
we’ll make sure she comes thru to clarify. the champ and i are the just the pretty faces and letters behind VSB, we make liz do all the heavy lifting.
Fellas, you may not want to get a pedi, but DO sand down the stone you call a heel. If you can walk barefoot and your foot doubles as flint rock, you may want to check that out. ALSO, if your toes look like you are going to swoop down and grab a small rodent, you may want to take care of them claws you call nails.
or you can just wear shoes instead of sandals.
@SAULE WRIGHT,
I literally lol’d at this.
@SAULE WRIGHT,
this hilarious and so very true. fellas, get a pedi, do it yourself, or let your girl do it, but please get it done.
@SAULE WRIGHT, humphf… men can get pedis too. And as THE ULTIMATE show of love (i missed yesterdays post
) his wife (i say wife cause if i’m just ur girl u AIN’T gittin’ this type of treatment I’m mean) I would handle them feets fo ya. Soak, sanding of the cracked heal, and filing of the talons. oh the things we do for love or to say i’m sorry i’m such a bytch lol.
@pgh muse,
I agree, men can get pedis too. I have nothing against it. I’m sure I’ll kick someone in the mouth they mess with my feet, can’t stand it.
@SAULE WRIGHT, I so agree!! I will have to say that even though A LOT of brothas dont have nice looking feet that they should pay attention to the grooming part of it. I will take ugly but groomed over ugly, cracked & fungi any day!!
@SAULE WRIGHT,
Fellas, DON’T be afraid or think you’re too macho to get pedis. Ashiness and crustiness ain’t macho, it’s nasty.
I even read there are some businesses opening more masculine spa shops with big plasma TVs with Sportscenter or TV shows with Men eating giant turkey legs…ya know, what you neantherthals like.
@Cheekie,
Ashiness and crustiness ain’t macho
**t-shirt potential**
@Cheekie,
Does it serve beer and the staff wear boyshorts and wife beaters…um, A shirts?
@Cheekie,
some businesses opening more masculine spa shops with big plasma TVs with Sportscenter or TV shows with Men eating giant turkey legs
You know what, that’s really not a bad idea… It would be Hooters, except you get your feet touched… Not bad, not bad at all…
@Cheekie, we could use the more manly spots too (with women doing the feet of course, LOL)…
Because it’s hard for guys to do the damn thing up in these shops that are basically built only for women, painted all PAINK, predominantly broads coming in, hair mags and tabloids everywhere, TV on some chickenhead show on channel 13…a man can’t sink his teeth into that.
i see all you womenses talking that men should get pedicures. i’m not sure how i feel about that. i mean it sounds good in theory, but if you went into your salon and saw some dude in there getting his feet done, you’d talk about him and not in a “oh look, he takes care of his feet” you’d give him a bit of a double take.
one of my boys apparently gets pedicures done and my girl saw him one day and came home and told me. she had a hint of “xxx gets pedicures…”
kind of an evil snark kind of thing, except minus the darth vader mask and hand puppets.
@Panama Jackson,
i feel you. is a catch 22. i personally haven’t seen a guy or had any of my guys go but y’all at least need to take care of that sh1t at home. ain’t nothing wrong with taking some clippers to them toes.
this chick i used to work with years ago got cut up, literally, from her guy in bed one night. they were sleeping and for whatever reason, dreaming, just turning over, whatever, he scratched his foot up against her leg and his toe nail was so sharp it cut her and she was BLEEDING! like, woke up in pain had to get out of the bed and put a band aid on it bleeding…smh.
@SouthernGirl,
omg, I just literally lol!!!!! wow!! that’s a deal breaker!! Scarrin up my legs and ish with your lack of self maintenance!! Unacceptable!
@SouthernGirl,
exactly 99cents at ya local drug store some clippers and they will last foeva.
@Panama Jackson,
so basically, we should do it, but we hafta be on some jason bourne/ethan hunt type stealth sh*t when we do?
@Panama Jackson,
I’m iffy about men sitting up in salons getting pedicures too. Something about it doesn’t sit right with me. Now if it’s my man, I will give him a pedi. But I don’t know about us sitting there together getting pedicures and ish. Sharing nail polish and sipping mojitos. Just doesn’t seem right.
@Panama Jackson,
Maybe if while the guy is getting a pedicure he is reading Playboy or Penthouse magazine it would make us feel better, lol.
@pinksghetti,
I forgot to add and not reading them for “the articles”.
@pinksghetti, penthouse has articles?
@Panama Jackson,
I’m a straight girl (who only peeked in her brother’s Playboy magazine once,hey it had famous women in it, lol). I’m not sure about Penthouse though.
@pinksghetti,
black tail cough cough
@BLUNTBLAZER,
Oh yeah I forgot about that one, lol.
@Panama Jackson,
I am COMPLETELY against Man-ny Pedis. You don’t need a pedicure to get your male feet acceptable. All you need is a damn nail clipper and MAYBE a pumice stone. WTF is the glitters for?
@Me fail english?,
lol@glitters
@Me fail english?,
wtf is the stone for? lol you step on it or sumthin
@BLUNTBLAZER,
LOL no… the stone makes those cracked heels smooth again when you rub them for a while with it (sometimes this takes a LONG while lol)
@Me fail english?,
LMAO @ glitters. Do they even do the extra stuff at the mani/pedi shop? I just thought men went to feel good about being catered to and/or because they don’t know what they’re doing to take care of their own ish.
I swear if I see a dude getting nail polish and acrylics I will perish, I tell ya, PERISH.
@Cheekie,
I’ve seen this! Dude had a full set of acrylics w/ a design and evrything. He was my limo driver to prom. Hilarious!
@Me fail english?,
lol @ glitter.
I’ve seen men get mani/pedi in my shop before, but they don’t get any polish on their nails. if i saw a guy getting the newforthesummer OPI on his nails, then that is a problem….
@N.I.A. naturally….,
Yep.
I don’t care how they hook them up, just make sure they are hooked up.
@Panama Jackson,
if you went into your salon and saw some dude in there getting his feet done, you’d talk about him and not in a “oh look, he takes care of his feet” you’d give him a bit of a double take.
Not at all… Last time I went, there was a very macho looking dude getting his feet done… The nails lady even thought we were together *smh*… I don’t find it awkward, I find it proactive.
Your feet need to be taken care of, there is nobody to do it for you like you want it, you pay somebody to do it for you… Basic rule of capitalism. It works.
@Sula,
I totally agree. There was a man in the pedi chair next to me last sunday and there is no doubt in my mind he likes women. I am soooo pro-pedi for the fellas.
Cause I’d rather soak in a bath of famine and locusts than give a man a pedi. Feet. Yuck.
@SAULE WRIGHT,
I don’t think men should get pedicures. I just think that they should not wear sandals!
@Ms. T,
I still dont understand this. I mean, mens feet get hot too. I’d rather see a man in sandals in the summer than some sneakers or god forbid Tims. Let your feet out, thats what summer is for!
@Dom,
Then maybe they should wear a harachi (?sp) or something cause I don’t like to see men’s toes except in the house.
@Ms. T,
chuuuuuuuuuuch one time you see my feet is in tha house and nigs dont swim so lol
@Dom,
I am with ya.
I am perturbed to see men wearing sneakers on the beach!! On the beach!
Come on!
@SAULE WRIGHT,
ALSO, if your toes look like you are going to swoop down and grab a small rodent, you may want to take care of them claws you call nails.
LOL
Oh, and DO lotion your WHOLE LEG. Socks stop at the ankle, lotion shouldn’t. Stop looking like you were getting cremated and stepped out at the last minute.
@SAULE WRIGHT, “Socks stop at the ankle, lotion shouldn’t. ” Yesssss you better preach!
@SAULE WRIGHT, “Stop looking like you were getting cremated and stepped out at the last minute.”
Youse a mess for this. lmao
@SAULE WRIGHT,
“Oh, and DO lotion your WHOLE LEG. Socks stop at the ankle, lotion shouldn’t.”
This should be on national TV. Make this PSA, STAT.
“Stop looking like you were getting cremated and stepped out at the last minute.”
Oh my goodness, no. lol
@SAULE WRIGHT, you know, its interesting you mention this b/c this is a topic for future examination…
@Panama Jackson,
Obviously Champ won’t be writing this post about the proper ways to lotion. We all know he has a fight with the chalk all the time. And loses.
@V Renee,
i only use lotion 4-5 months out the year ya kno when tha sun comes out. ghetto tip*if you at a bbq eatin chicken and ya got some grease on ya fingas slap that on ya knee reall quick or that ashy heel
@BLUNTBLAZER,
LOL! When you workin on your car do you slap motor oil on em too?
@Me fail english?,
naw diff colors lol
@BLUNTBLAZER,
I am in shock @ the ghettoness of it all.
@BLUNTBLAZER,
I imagine that would smell like B.O. mixed with cologne marinated in the smell at any fine KFC establishment. I just threw up in my mouth a little.
**typing a request to Champ to not seat me near BLUNTBLAZER at the VSB BBQ (that is on the 32nd of Nevruary)**
@BLUNTBLAZER,
if you at a bbq eatin chicken and ya got some grease on ya fingas slap that on ya knee reall quick or that ashy heel .
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! What if a chick gets to licking on you and rises up like “tastes like chicken”
@V Renee,
That’s what her dirty ass gets lickin his knees!
Wear sunblock, at least on your nose. Black people can and will get burned if they sit out for too long in the sun without any protection. A peeling nose is not whats up.
Check your attitude. Nothing is worse than going to a party/pool/bbq and there’s someone with a stank attitude ice-grilling everybody. That’s how stuff gets started…
Speaking of barbecues…KNOW HOW TO COOK. It is the worst to have your first official cookout, and you’re serving everybody undercooked chicken. Shoot, did you not learn from the flavor of love fiasco? (not that I even watch that show…but tu sabes…)
Last, but not least: if you are single, seeing someone new, or dating every motherlover alive, GET TESTED and WRAP IT UP. Nothing is more of a summer buzz kill than unwanted creatures down south (not limited to babies, crabs, the clap, etc).
@chaoticdiva,
Last, but not least: if you are single, seeing someone new, or dating every motherlover alive, GET TESTED and WRAP IT UP. Nothing is more of a summer buzz kill than unwanted creatures down south (not limited to babies, crabs, the clap, etc).
chuuch
@chaoticdiva, i like your list b/c its about preserving life. everything you mentioned has some long term health implications.
even the chicken cuz if i eat your undercooked chicken i can get salmonella and die, which directly f*cks up my long term health.
@Panama Jackson,
word. this goes along greatly with our bigger, crime fighting ideals. good job and sh*t
@The Champ,
thas why all my food has to be cooked well done dont come to my bbq if you want ya meat bloody.lol
@Panama Jackson,
Yup. Death can be fatal to your life.
@Me fail english?, that’s what i keep hearing.
@Me fail english?,
LOL, yeah, I hear they don’t get along well.
@Me fail english?,
If you die, I’ll kill ya
@SAULE WRIGHT,
Ike, is that you?!
@Me fail english?,
Annie Mae, just eat the cake, please.
@Cheekie,
WHAT?! I thought her homegirls had her back in that scene!! lol
Bump this, we just gon have to skip to the end.
Nam-yan-rang-ay-kyo, Nam-yan-rang-ay-kyo…
*Anna Mae.
Ugh, it took 85 years for me to correct this because the computer froze, grunting and ish like it was constipated all because I clicked “click to edit”. Then, the time ran out. I hate PCs…Naw, this calls for luvvie-speak (and it’s so apt): iHate PC’s.
@Me fail english?,
“Nam-yan-rang-ay-kyo, Nam-yan-rang-ay-kyo…”
LMAO. I have declared that no one does a Buddhist chat cooler than Angela Bassett. She put some soul into it…it felt so powerful.
Do drink LOTS OF WATER. No not red or purple koolaid flavored water that is 3 parts sugar and 1 part water. Don’t know if you are drinking enough water? Drink until your pee is the same color as water all the time. Your skin will not be ashy even if you do forget to lotion. Your eyes will be whiter. Your hair will feel softer. Your skin will be clearer. So many good things. I love water.
Don’t avoid the sun because you don’t want to get black. Ninja…you are already black. Different shades of black are still black racially. Can’t stand when people say that ish.If you are scared that one/two shades of darker skin will make you look like you are related to Wesley Snipes then where SPF 1000 sunscreen before you go out.
Do switch up the normal summer cook out/bbq for a nice quaint picnic sometimes and surprise people with your diverse tastes.
Do get all the wearing you can out of you new white jeans or all white outfit, because after Labor Day you will look really lame wearing them. I had to learn this the hard way. LOL
@Blue Skyez, “Don’t avoid the sun because you don’t want to get black. Ninja…you are already black. Different shades of black are still black racially. Can’t stand when people say that ish.”
^^^^^^ Co-signs this statement
Co-signing the co-sign! I LOVE tanning! Black is so beautiful.
@8th Wonder, Ain’t it though??? I just wish I could get darker!
@Nicki Sunshine,
yall crazy my arms tan alot cause im always rollin with my arm out tha window cali style lmao my son be light in tha winter so he look mex now that its he tanned like a mug catchin up to me talkin bout look dad im black again lol
@Blue Skyez,
“Don’t avoid the sun because you don’t want to get black. Ninja…you are already black. Different shades of black are still black racially. Can’t stand when people say that ish.”
Most def. I LOVE my color when I’ve gotten more sun. It is so beautiful, I just wanna die. But, I can’t die because then I wouldn’t be able to show it off.
@Blue Skyez, Don’t avoid the sun because you don’t want to get black. Ninja…you are already black. Different shades of black are still black racially. Can’t stand when people say that ish.If you are scared that one/two shades of darker skin will make you look like you are related to Wesley Snipes then where SPF 1000 sunscreen before you go out.
on a related note, i often find it humorous how us lightbrites tend to go out of our way to get sun in attempts to approach a darker hue.
i’m light. i aint getting but SO much darker.
btw, i have an issue with black folks that go to tanning salons. ftl.
@Panama Jackson,
I refuse to believe in black people who go to tanning salons like I refuse to believe in the bogeyaman.
Just a caveat on the water: Don’t drink just water. You drink all water and no food or no something you are gonna mess yourself up! You will get sick as a dog, so either gatorade it up, eat some potato chips (salt helps, you need it to sweat) or something, get some minerals and electrolytes and sheeit.
OH also if your black@ss has patchy skin tone issues, PLEASE do not be the one avoiding the sun. Tis better to be a shade darker and one color than looking like a calico cat.
@willnotbetelevised,
My dermatologist told me that tanning to even stuff out just makes the dark parts really dark and the light parts slightly darker. So effectively the difference is more pronounced. And as someone who’s brownskinned on top, and light about the lower body, I can verify these findings
@willnotbetelevised,
gatorade is my best friend fruit punch 4sheeeezy
Do see the new transformers movie… I just did …and LOVED it!!! that is all.. now off to bed
oh co sign the shorty shorts.. I hate looking at pasty gelatinous ass man thighs….ugghhhhhh!!!
@shay_d_lady,
I saw it this morning too. It was okay, but I wasnt wowed.
Actually, I fell asleep on it. No more midnight premieres for me….
@Dom, so how do you know it was just okay if you fell asleep on it. you may have missed the greatest.scenes.ever.
hmm?? hmm???
@Panama Jackson,
Doubt it. I only fell asleep for about twenty minutes at the most. I still saw 90% of the movie, and again, I wasnt as impressed as I was with the first one. They were trying a little too hard to impress.
The desperation on screen, the alcohol, and the long day caught up with me around 2 am. Sue me.
@Dom,
lol, who goes to a movie premiere drunk?
@The Champ,
Let me live my life! LOL
@Dom
aaa-aaaaaaa-aaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaaaaay
@The Champ,
Haha. Smthg tells me the premiere wasnt the most interesting part of her day.
@Panama Jackson, @Dom, so how do you know it was just okay if you fell asleep on it. you may have missed the greatest.scenes.ever.
hmm?? hmm???
naww she didnt.. i mean if you are going for actual plot and acting.. but if you are going for transformers, fights and lots of optimus prime (who I have an unhealthy fascination with)..this is the one for you!
Be mindful though transformers is real long and there are 2 characters that if you assume they are portraying black guys (if you can assume that about robots) are a lil offensive…
@shay-d-lady,
Thanks, Shay-d-lady! I want to see this but my son is at his Daddy’s for some summer vacay time. Imma wait for him to get home so we can see it together. Glad to hear it’s good though!
@shay-d-lady,
I thought I was just being sensitive. I had to narrow the eyes a bit at some of their comments.
*Do work out. Yes, I know its hot as h3ll, but the days are longer. Enjoy the outdoors and get some exercise. Don’t live in the air conditioning.
*please don’t assault my visual cortex by wearing sh*t you just know you shouldn’t. Or not wear appropriate undergarments. I seent FAR to many women rocking maxi dress/sundresses with NO BRA and NO SHAPE WEAR. Which is fine… if you can get away with it. If you can’t (and you KNOW it) strap them puppies in/up/down. Ladies, if you got a girlfriend who thinks she can get away with that nonsense and she can’t be a good friend and community servant… drag her azz to a lingerie store.
*Do take advantage of the fun/free summer activities in your city. It will be gone before you know it.
@blackberry molasses,
” Or not wear appropriate undergarments. I seent FAR to many women rocking maxi dress/sundresses with NO BRA and NO SHAPE WEAR. Which is fine… if you can get away with it. If you can’t (and you KNOW it) strap them puppies in/up/down. Ladies, if you got a girlfriend who thinks she can get away with that nonsense and she can’t be a good friend and community servant… drag her azz to a lingerie store.”
I whole-heartedly co-sign. I’ve seen more bad built chicks in maxi dresses lately than a little bit.
And the sad thing is, its a MAXI dress! It covers up mostly everything, how do you still look a hot unshapely mailbox mess?
@8th Wonder,
lol. It’s all in the cling! I used to work with a girl who wore what musta been rayon maxi dresses all damn summer. In the winter, I thought you was nicely shaped. By June, I knew every dimple, crater, lump, pothole, pimple and crease in her body. ewwww
@Me fail english?,
I agree it’s all about the fabric. I tried on one yesterday and took it right back off. It was way too clingy in all the wrong areas.
Some people don’t care though, they will just throw it on and go…I ain’t running round here looking like a shar pei puppy in this jump.
@miss t-lee,
I ain’t running round here looking like a shar pei puppy in this jump. .
A shar pei tho??? BWHAHA
@Me fail english?,
dam im lost a fuq maxi dress?
@8th Wonder,
LMFAO @ people looking like a mailbox in maxi dresses. This is so, so, true.
@blackberry molasses,
“seent FAR to many women rocking maxi dress/sundresses with NO BRA and NO SHAPE WEAR.”
I agree, and this rule does not only go out to the team chunk members, this rule is for all women. I have seen too many cotton dresses with jiggle to say the least. Shape that ish up!
@Ms. T,
Good point. My 103 pound friend is determined to show off he protruding belly bones. Sorry thin ladies, but no matter how skinny you get, not all of you are shaped like models! Your belly still pokes out over your pelvis and what’s worse, is I can see your heartbeat! I don’t care what Herve Leger told you. Skinny women can have bad shapes too!
preach.
@blackberry molasses, da hell is a maxi dress?
@Panama Jackson,
I’mma pretend I ain’t see that.
@blackberry molasses, oh…i just lump those all in with summer dresses. how was i supposed to know that its a “maxi-dress” the only maxi i’m aware of maxi-pad.
what…you think i get pedicures or wax my chest or something???
@Panama Jackson,
yea when i heard maxi thas wha i thought of to lost as a mug
@Panama Jackson,
Here’s some examples:
http://styletips101.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/maxi-dress.jpg
They’re those really long and flowy type dresses…they’re very comfy and give you a lot of room. It’s one of the closest things to having nothing on. You’ve probably seen them around lately…they’re becoming really trendy.
Personally, I think they stunt my already short self at 5’3 since they’re so long. Probably best with wedges, I hear. There are so many types of styles (not just the popular tube style), but the flowy, ethereal look makes a maxi dress.
@Cheekie,
Haha. I’m 5’3 too and they make me look like a midget. Eff it though!
@Cheekie, thank you for sharing that information…unlike SOME people
*sticking tongue out at BBMo*
@Panama Jackson,
careful of sticking things out at me… they may not come back … or if they do, not in the condition they left in.
@Cheekie,
Thats funny, I think they look better on shorter women. They give you length, esp when worn w/ wedges. At 5’7 , I think I am too tall for them. They make me look like a column.
@Dom,
I guess it depends on the specific style, because dresses below your ankles make you look shorter since your legs disappear. It’s probably an illusion thing depending on how it fits and your specific shape.
@Cheekie,
I am 5’4 3/4 (tres important!) and I stay wearing them…. with flats too! So yeah, eff’ em!
@blackberry molasses,
i agree with the working out. most people sit around and become extra lazy during the summer. add to that all of the great summer foods and drinks, and it is real easy to put on mucho weight these 3 months…
@N.I.A. naturally….,
See we kinda like have 6 months + of summer down these parts… It gets tricky!
@Sula,
i know. my friend live in houston, and she refuses to workout outside…mostly b/c she doesn’t want her “perm to sweat out”(smh), but also b/c of hte heat. she joined a gym for the summer
@blackberry molasses,
Well the outdoors thing is great if you get up at like 5 -6 am… It’s already 90 at 8 around here and it stays in the mid-nineties well into the evening… In Texas, it pays to have a gym membership in the summer…
(I went biking this week-end and lord Jesus Christ I came back feeling (and looking) like beef jerky)
@Sula,
I guess that was bias… I get up at 5 every day and work out. So yep, in the morning it is quite lovely
@blackberry molasses,
I started working out at 5:15 in the morning and in TX is about 80-90 degrees and the humidity is a beast. I go home drenched from head to toe!
@Sula,
I wanted to go walking at the track up the street last night and it was still 100 at 8.
I had to reconsider.
@miss t-lee,
wow. it sucks to live in TX
@blackberry molasses,
Only in the summer.
I enjoy my snow free winters, thank you…lol
@blackberry molasses,
*please don’t assault my visual cortex by wearing sh*t you just know you shouldn’t. Or not wear appropriate undergarments. I seent FAR to many women rocking maxi dress/sundresses with NO BRA and NO SHAPE WEAR. Which is fine… if you can get away with it. If you can’t (and you KNOW it) strap them puppies in/up/down. Ladies, if you got a girlfriend who thinks she can get away with that nonsense and she can’t be a good friend and community servant… drag her azz to a lingerie store.
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My eyesight is bad enough as it is.. must I be privy to the fact that you do not like to wear underwear? I mean that’s your business if you don’t want to, but please hold on to your half yard of cloth as you are walking up the stairs.. I should not be able to say with certainty what your natural hair colour is… and while I am at it, if you wear above a certain size bra (like say and A cup) PLEASE WEAR A BRA. And I don’t know if “we” do this, but guys.. please… if you are going to wear loose shorts WITHOUT any drawers underneath.. please… please.. please… do not for any reason cross, lap, or lift you feet/legs in anyway… this can only lead to a bad end for you because either you will get clowned for having your business literally out there, or said business will get attacked by an unsuspecting squirrel who is just trying to store up for the winter….
This post was a great way to start my Wednesday.
1. Don’t use perfume/ cologne to cover up heat funk.
2. Ladies- put the boots away. U look silly.
@Nicki Sunshine,
Yes lawd!
And I hate those open-toe boots with a passion the world has not yet seen.
@Me fail english?,
Those are the worst! My friends have been buying those, out there looking like spiderman!
@Ms. T, “there looking like spiderman”
I have been kilt
@Me fail english?,
“And I hate those open-toe boots with a passion the world has not yet seen.”
OMG, YES. Folks like boots THAT much? You only have several months, not several years…put them AWAY.
And those shoes make your feet look weird. I have no better way to describe them, but they kinda make your feet look at square and block-y like Megazord on Power Rangers.
@Cheekie,
I don’t understand the open toed boots either. They vex and perplex me.
iHate them.
@Me fail english?, I agree… it makes no sense.. so the rest of your foot will be hot while your toes get air?
@Nicki Sunshine, open toed boots???
that makes about as much sense as sleeveless turtlenecks.
@Panama Jackson,
Sleeveless turtlenecks…another hatred of mine. I hate when clothes confuse me because it makes it seem like they’re smarter than me.
Except not because if I were a shirt, I wouldn’t have no-sleeves and a turtleneck. That’s just plain silly.
@Cheekie,
” I hate when clothes confuse me because it makes it seem like they’re smarter than me.”
I know! They’re all smug like “HAW-HAW. Can’t you figure us out, puny earthling?” with their fancy french accents.
@Me fail english?,
Love you for the Monty Python reference.
@Panama Jackson, Look at them. lol
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_TrniAF4gLDA/SNze6tcqydI/AAAAAAAABVk/yOyclMI1nW0/s400/Black.Open.toe.Bootie.gif
@Panama Jackson,
I love sleveless turtlenecks! Great under a suit.
@treble,
sleeveless turtlenecks….do you wear them with corduroy shorts?
@SAULE WRIGHT,
bhwahahahaha spitting water every where i hope this wasa joke lololol
@SAULE WRIGHT,
…and open-toe boots
@treble,
My mama loves ‘em too. I clown her so. She specifically gets them to wear under shirts also…which I can kinda see, but still…a sleeveless turtleneck just so…oxymoronish. It should disappear into oblivion because each component cancels each other out.
@Nicki Sunshine,
It was pointed out on The Sartorialist that L.A. folks wear UGG boots a LOT. I couldn’t not notice them ever since. Them beasts just look off to me.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
like many things that are plagues to mankind, LA is where the UGG trend started… round about Y2k, I believe.
I saw all these Cali kids showing up on campus wearing them in AUGUST and I was like
“Wow, they really think it snows here year round.”
Kid from LA: “No, we wear them in LA all the time”
Me: “You mean Los Angeles. Where it NEVER snows?” **blankest of blank stares**
@blackberry molasses, I don’t get it either…it looks like someone wearing bread baked around the feet. No kinda solid shape to them whatsoever. And they’re made in Australia, another place not known to snow.
1. Ladies and Gentlemen, get regular pedicures if you plan on showing your feet at all during the summer. I know it’s been said, but it needs to be repeated until i no longer see a pair of crusty, dusty, chipped polish, clawed(men) feet.
2. my natural ladies, do rock your ‘fro, dreads, fade, etc. Ladies who press/blowout/flatiron…it’s too hot for all of that, and it’s not gonna last in the heat anyway, so just pick out your ‘fro and let your soul glow.
3. do be careful about your alcohol consumption is this summer heat. 151+100 degrees=a disaster. don’t do it.
4. do enjoy the ourdoors, especially these summer nights. and during the day, make sure you wear sunscreen. People of color can burn, and they can get skin cancer.
5. Do step up your summer wardrobe. Ladies, get a few summer dresses and skirts to balance out the shorts and capris/crops. Dresses are sexxy….
** that’s all I have for now….
@N.I.A. naturally…., i’m gonna go ahead and say that 151+any temperature is pretty much not a good look.
if you aint on your pre-151 grizzly proper, it will take take you down faster than a chris brown jab.
sidenote: amongst my crew, 151 is part of our homecoming ritual…we usually buy a few bottles and take shots before tailgating. despite our degrees and accomplishments, etc., we’re not smart.
@Panama Jackson,
i thought about homecoming right after i wrote that. and at almost every homecoming i’ve attended since i graduated, it’s been unseasonably warm. and at every single one of those homecomings, i’ve had copious amonts of alcohol pre- and during tailgating. i pretty much feel my degrees and accomplishments has given me the right to drink and be merry at my homecoming…even if it’s hot as hades in ATL in October….
and since this year is my 5 year, it’s definitely gonna be on!!!
@N.I.A. naturally…., like donkey kong.
@Panama Jackson,
exactly….
@N.I.A. naturally….,
“2. my natural ladies, do rock your ‘fro, dreads, fade if you’re a lesbian, etc. Ladies who press/blowout/flatiron…it’s too hot for all of that, and it’s not gonna last in the heat anyway, so just pick out your ‘fro and let your soul glow.”
^^^^fixed
But yes indeed I need to see the sundresses on the single freaks…It’s my summer resolution to mack to those jawns.
“Don’t be afraid to be fat if you are.”
All day, erry day!!! Team Chunk!!!! We all we got.
Ladies– lotion & a fly pedicure are your friend, but then again you should be up on game all year.
@miss t-lee,
vsb.com: where miss-t-lee drops different “team chunk” catchphrases every week
@The Champ,
Thank you for noticing…lol
@miss t-lee,
afraid? lol, folks don’t let you forget. Tryna walk in your shade, counting how long until you sweat…oops, I’ve said too much.
@SAULE WRIGHT,
*snickering* You keep giving away secrets like that we’re going to be forced to kick you out.
Just say no to Uggs.
I think Uggs are ugly anyway, but you look extra stupid in a halter, jean skirt, and Uggs.
@Jae,
THANK YOU. I knew someone would say this. People trying to kill “swagger” and the N-Word when folks should think about priorities: Kill those Uggs. Actually, no…Crocs first. Kill them dead.
If you can kill two fug shoes with one stone, more power. These need to make like magic and disappear.
Keeping it short since I have to do this on the phone…
but won’t SOMEBODY please think of the children?!?
Don’t ban them outside during heat advisories, letting them bake and not get enough water, on the principle that they’re young and don’t need to come in until the streetlights are on. That’s how my little cousin got sick the other day at a camp.
If you’re gonna be stepping out nicely at these functions, make sure your seed(s) are decent too. I will talk about you at the fam. reunion. This also goes for all seasons, for future reference.
Don’t leave them in anybody’s car with no windows down too. That goes for your puppies too.
*end psa*
@Beez, Good PSA – hate seeing a mama all fly and the babies look like something u just stepped on. just shameful.
@pgh muse,
I hate seeing the opposite as well… Kids looking all fly and the mother looking busted….
@Beez,
Years ago, walking to work, I saw a puppy AND a baby locked in car with the windows up in Phila! It wasn’t ridic. hot but it was warm enough!
I was too much of a punk to call the cops so I just stood by like 15 feet away til the driver came back. Betch!
@Me fail english?,
That actually happened to me at the garage near Jefferson Medical College. I was going to a conference and thought I was trippin because I heard a baby crying.
I look in this car and lo and behold is a little bitty BEAUTIFUL baby girl, maybe 4 months old, in a BLACK SEDAN WITH DARK TINT WINDOWS ROLLED ALL THE WAY UP. Oh, and it was about 88 degrees already… at 11:30 AM
I immediately called 911 and hung out till the cops and the fire dept (?) got there.
Apparently, the father had forgotten the child was in the car… he was somewhere nearby, getting a haircut I think.
I don’t know if they charged him with anything, but I was giving ol’ boy the Lady Cameroon Side Eye while he was thanking me for protecting his child. Ninja, you the FATHER. That’s YOUR JOB.
@blackberry molasses,
I’m so glad you called the police.
So many babies/kids die down here every year because people are steady leaving them chirren in the car.
@blackberry molasses, as a father of a little baby girl, that breaks my heart. man, i don’t know what i’d do if i became so absentminded as to put my daughter in harms way like that.
@blackberry molasses,
Im soooo happy you called the police. This 2520 (she was the assistant principal at a school) did this last year around here. Forgot her baby was in the backseat and let her sit outside in the car all day. The baby died and she didn’t get charged with anything. Pissed me off!
I know I’m in the minority but, I really think everybody should be half nekkid in the summer, regardless of body type!
I demand that you all wear lotion and deodorant and I can’t stand the excessive baby powder!
But ppl look crazy as hell wearing hot ass jean capris tryna hide some thunder thighs. We know you big, boo! Why be big and hot?? Or long sleeve shirts to hide eczema on their arms. Eff em all! I say let that ish breeeeve (breathe)!
If I was 200 lbs I’d wear proper underwear and make sure the body hair was in check, but folks could kiss my big, juicy asz if they think I’ma hit the beach in a goddamn T shirt. *middle fingers in the air*
I was so happy to go to Miami to see everybody from the Itty Bitty committee, to the Sag & Stretchmark consortium looking real comfy in their skivvies. That is… til the Euro tranny took off her top! *barf* So I guess that’s my only tip. Don’t start your own nude beach.
*
@Me fail english?, I know I’m in the minority but, I really think everybody should be half nekkid in the summer, regardless of body type!
i co-sign. let people be free. just because you big don’t mean u gotta be extra hot and tied up. although i (shameless plug) got some really cute dresses for any body type (and can be tailored) that i’m putting in my store like next week… they will be on my blog sometime this weekend. http://www.museacd.blogspot.com
@Me fail english?,
“If I was 200 lbs I’d wear proper underwear and make sure the body hair was in check, but folks could kiss my big, juicy asz if they think I’ma hit the beach in a goddamn T shirt. *middle fingers in the air* ”
Have you been following me around?
@Me fail english?,
“If I was 200 lbs I’d wear proper underwear and make sure the body hair was in check, but folks could kiss my big, juicy asz if they think I’ma hit the beach in a goddamn T shirt. *middle fingers in the air* ”
This is the truth. I call out folks for wearing too small ish, but big gals and guys don’t have to die from heat overexposure at the beach just because a little extra skin makes some folks uncomfy. There are FABULOUS swimsuits out there for big girls, so ya’ll should take advantage.
@Cheekie,
“I call out folks for wearing too small ish”
Oh yeah, I also advocate for people wearing their proper size. Me and my sis were just talking about how Mariah Carey doesn’t qualify for big girl status but her G&G influenced wardrobe sure makes her look like a stuffed sausage!!
@Me fail english?,
I saw this the other day. Girl musta been about 125 lbs soaking wet, but she had a belly shirt on and some tight ass jeans that gave her lovehandles. Alla this and it was only 65 degrees and rainy out!
@Me fail english?,
I call people out on some
“Save the Spaghetti Strap!”
“Ban the Tumbly Tummy!”
“You.Need.A.Bra!”
type ish… I’m ignant as hayle….
But as a TC member who works diligently at keeping her frame toned up and dressing it appropriately, I get mad when I see chicks of ANY SIZE walking around on some
“Biyatch, I’m sessy with my 89 rolls of backfat in a backless belly shirt!”
No. You ain’t.
@Me fail english?,
Oh yeah. Skinny snitches ain’t immune. Mariah Carey is a perfect example. Girl, take off that Limited Too tube top. You look the hot mess.
@Me fail english?,
“Don’t start your own nude beach.”
Sorry the e-twinhood stops here I guess cuz I was definitely topless in Miami…cept I’m not the euro tranny you were speaking of.
@Happy Meal, “topless in miami” was the original title of Forrest Gump, until they realized not a single scene in the movie involved miami and nobody was topless.
@Happy Meal,
Noooo! e-twin. Were there kids on the beach?!
@Me fail english?, i spent a large part of my formative years overseas and the breasts were out all over the place. its just not that big a deal in other non-muslim parts of the world.
and look how well adjusted i turned out. i used to see boobs all the time. at the park, on a lark. on the stairs, everywheres.
@Panama Jackson,
“and look how well adjusted i turned out”
EXACTLY! And Miami aint overseas! It’s..um..
underseas…that shet is down Souf!@Me fail english?,
I know I’m in the minority
Nope you are not.
I mean we can’t exactly ask people to wear burqas just so we are happy…
*Do put some nail polish on your toes ladies (it looks purty), especially if your toe nails look like they have gangrene.
*Don’t have your kids playin outside until the crack of dawn I know it’s summer and school is out but kids need sleep too.
*Do give teens something constructive to do because kids get more badder in the summer.
*Ladies don’t put on bikinis and wash cars in the middle of the street (yes, I did see some women do this the other summer).
@pinksghetti,
Or wear them to the grocery store in the middle of the hood and miles away from any form of water!
@Dom,
I co-sign.
*Fellas don’t walk around wearing shorts that reach your ankles with some long socks and boots then wonder why you are hot and angry. If the LA Lakers in the 70-80′s could wear daisy dukes on the court then you can wear knee length shorts and look macho.
@pinksghetti, um, you do realize that those shorts that they were wearing were not a good look right? there’s a reason those shorts got longer.
plus, fashion in the 70s and 80s is largely considered…bad.
@Panama Jackson,
I do get a creepy feeling when I see those old clips of Kareem Abdul Jabar in those shorts. But I’m just saying if dudes could rock the booty shorts in the day then it’s cool to show off a little calf or a half a knee these days.
@pinksghetti,
Fellas don’t walk around wearing shorts that reach your ankles with some long socks and boots then wonder why you are hot and angry. .
LMAO!! True true!
@pinksghetti,
Yeah those ankle shorts are the fashion equivalent of saying “no homo”. Just unecessary and childish.
I hate that I read so many blogs that I need to sit down and contemplate this here voting process like it’s the second coming of November 2008.
Oh, and the small font make my squinty eyes hurt. But, ya know, I understand why.
Okay, summertime is here little Willie from Philly! I stepped outside today and it was already 80 degrees. The sun kissed my face. The rays shook hands with my soul. Hot weather makes me prose-y.
Dos and Don’ts of the Musty Mayhem aka Summer:
- Don’t wear sunglasses inside. Pay attention to the first part of this glorious compound word: SUN. I don’t care if there’s a sunroof in the building, you look like a bag of douche. You’re trying too hard to be cool, thus you are not.
- Don’t wear socks with sandals. It is HOT, ya know. Your feet are crying out for air. Think of the feet.
- Do SMILE when out and about. We had reason to be frowning it up during the coldest winter evah (even then I tried to keep a smile on my face…I looked insane, but I was trying to do that whole trickery to the brain thing where they say if you smile, the movement itself actually makes you feel better), but now that the sun is out? Mirror it.
- To the 2520s: Don’t overtan. Looking like a crusty glass of Tang is not the hotness. I know ya’ll want this delicious melanin, but sometimes you can embrace the pale…it’s better than looking like you’re from outer space. Besides, vampires are hot these days.
- Do incorporate outside into your workout routine. Ladies, do not underestimate the power of a bouncing booty when jogging. You may risk unwanted attention, but who knows you might catch the
groineye of that shirtless hottie jogging behind you. Which brings me to: Fellas, if you got it like that, take those shirts off when exercising. You might as well. It’s for the good of society.- Do drink lots of water. I know I’m the biggest water stan on the planet and I’d probably go all PETA and throw bags of salt on non-water drinkers but you’ll feel better. A drink that tastes like nothing but tastes so good is full of win. Your body, skin and thirst will thank ya.
@Cheekie,
as a former faux water hater, I agree. Drink lots of water! Your skin, hair, nails and other important organs will thank you.
Oh, and iQuit you for the following:
1. “bag of douche”
2. “crusty glass of Tang”
That is all. **hands you quittage papers**
@blackberry molasses, are quittage papers right before the separation agreement in divorce proceedings?
@Panama Jackson,
as a matter of fact. yes. yes they are.
@Cheekie,
I hate that I read so many blogs that I need to sit down and contemplate this here voting process like it’s the second coming of November 2008.
this may be true, but we’re the best, so your decision shouldnt be that difficult
@The Champ,
I knew this was coming…lol
@Cheekie,
I knew this was coming
if i had a dollar…
@The Champ,
you’d have — $27.53 in your checking account.
Uh, huh. Champ. I know, I know, I set myself up…
@blackberry molasses,
Naw, he’d have insufficient funds. Bada-bing.
@blackberry molasses,
Only if the sentence ended with “…but I wasn’t expecting it so soon.”
@blackberry molasses, that is supposed to read that he’d be $27.53 in the RED.
FML.
@blackberry molasses,
Oh, that was a minus sign. I’m computer character illiterate. F MY life.
I’d also like to state, 2520′s DO get ashy! And it IS unsightly as hell. Their flesh is NOT literally white and YES we can see that ish. The crazy part is, I’ll see pretty 2520 girls that look like they just stepped off the set of Gossip Tree Hills (Tory Burch bag, Giuseppe Zanotti sandals) with frost-white feets!! Da fcuk part of the game is this?
@Me fail english?, as long as my Lauren Conrad ain’t ashy, i’m good.
MEN, if you’re gonna have the NERVE to show your feet (it does happen), whether it be just the heel or heel and toes…go get a damn pedicure! Walking around looking like your foot should be served with some fries with mild sauce (it’s a Chi-town thing) is NOT what’s up!!!
@K to the…,
I love and hate you for mentioning the Jeebus-made creation that is mild sauce. I love you because it makes my mouth water thinking about it…and I have you because, well, my mouth is watering and Harold’s is not good for me. Ah well, I can just serve myself the “But you haven’t had any in a while” justification speech. Mmmm, mild sauce.
@Cheekie,
*correction*
I meant to say *hate, not have. I don’t HAVE you. I hate you. And typos hate me.
I want some Harolds…
@Cheekie,
ahhhhh yes, co-sign mild sauce….mmmmmm…I always get extra to have in the fridge as it is good on…lots of things.
@treble,
Haha. Same here. Throwing away the excess mild sauce is a mortal sin in my family. It does go well on so many things.
@K to the…, welcome and sh*t.
and i live in DC, home of the mumbo sauce so please enlighten me to this mild sauce. is it merely…mild? is it special??
@Panama Jackson,
It’s special sauce…sort of BBQ-y but better. Probably sweeter..I can’t describe it. It’s one of those things that are so incredible that descriptions aren’t worthy of it.
Here’s a pic to get a visual description:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_VYi08gxSWj0/SSXcQC4QVHI/AAAAAAAAAlk/8W19ncr_H54/s400/P1010825.JPG
*salivating*
Can you get away with linen pants and long skirts and jeans all summer? I really dont have much choice as I was dealt a bad hand of eczema on my legs as a kid…haven’t shown the legs since. Talk about self-conscious (spell-check).
@ladytreez,
Probably. There are just some folks out there that don’t like showing their legs and they somehow manage in the 90+ (100+ index) degree range.
@ladytreez, i think you can…especially linen pants. those things are a godsend. i have a pair of white linen pants that i bought for a white-party in DC a few years ago. i love those pants. they’re so comfy and i feel like i look like i live on a beach somewhere when i wear them.
of course when i take them off i’m reminded i live in DC and hain’s point aint a beach…
@Panama Jackson,
Aww I’m in Jersey now and I miss Haine’s point. But I will never ever go back until PGC gives back the man in the sand. I would just sit there and cry and people would be wondering why I’m raining in the sun.
Oh I know BBQ etiquette was earlier but can I say, if you don’t belong to the BBQ do not attempt to eat at the BBQ. In any way shape or form! I don’t care if you offered to pay (which doesn’t excuse you invading someone elses event) but a BBQ is not a Nathan’s. I know it smells good but you betta hit up Dixie Bones.
@Panama Jackson,
What’s wrong with Rehoboth. Do ppl go there?
So, um, sweat loves me for some reason. Do any of ya’ll have any recommendations for good anti-persperant? I’m sure none of it is perfect, but I’m trying that clinical protection from Degree and while it smells good (like baby powder), it doesn’t really help with the drenching. My coworker said try men’s deoderant (um…nonscented, I’m guessing..hmm. *side-eye*) or maybe I should get that Mitchum…I remember using that at high school prom but never tried it out while I’m speed-walking to work everyday.
@Cheekie,
Your co-worker was kinda right. eeither go to your doctor for a real prescription or try right guard clear stick…I haven’t managed to find one that is unscented but you can find one where the scent isnt overbearing like the etreme clear stick….it may or may not work for you but nothing beats a failure but a try
@Happy Meal,
Yeah, she said it didn’t hurt to try so…I’ll try. Thanks!
@Cheekie,
I’m one sweaty broad. I work out a lot and drink plenty of water and ALL that. Dove works great for me as a deodorant, anti-perspirant, a pal and a confidante.
@Me fail english?,
“I’m one sweaty broad”
***reminding self to seat me fail at least 15 feet away from me at the vsb bbq***
@The Champ,
Uhm, I think we’d agree I’d be better working with the food in some capacity. Preferrably by the grill
@The Champ,
me fail don’t wanna sit next to you ANYway, Champ.
*sticking up for the fellow sweaty and water-loving folks*
@Cheekie, women’s deoderant actually is stronger than men’s. The chemicals in a woman smell worse than the chemicals in a man, its just that women just bathe themselves better, USUALLY
@Peysonic Temple #69,
Interesting. But is it stronger in terms of just odor or anti-persperant also?
LOL @ adding “usually”. Sad, yet true.
@Cheekie,
Secret…strong enough for a man. I actually know a few very active athletic guys who use secret. I double up, using the stick and the spray in the summer. Invisible stick is great for everywhere that sweats… just about.
@treble,
Noted! Thanks. I can’t believe I forgot that slogan.
I don’t see the problem with wearing whatever the hell you want on weekends, but please watch what you wear to work! Spandex, tunics that barely CYA, flip flops, see-through shirts, mini skirts and 6in platform sandals are not effing office wear. It’s usually the young interns who are offenders, but I see some folks old enough to know better doing it too.
Also, back women with the night scarf on: Stop wearing that ish in public! It’s bad enough in the winter, but it’s like 90 degrees and sunny, we know you’re a** is just being lazy. Unwrap your hair and let the wind hit it.
@Dom,
“I don’t see the problem with wearing whatever the hell you want on weekends, but please watch what you wear to work!”
Yeah, it got so bad here, HR had to send out a sternly worded e-reminder to the entire office. It was so detailed and clear so you know there were specific offenders.
additions and sh*t
1. you should attend a company cookout, and when an email is passed around asking you to bring a consumable to this company cookout, instead of any type of decent tasting food, your broke and nothing but eggs and bacon making-ass should write “bottled water” down. you should also make sure you come an hour late to this cookout with your 48 bottles of aquafina, just to insure that your water will stay practically untouched, and you can take at least 45 of those bottles home with you.
2. you should do many push-ups, because you will sweat alot, turning your skin into a soft glisten, and when you look in the mirror you can almost convince yourself that its 1999
3. you shouldn’t listen to “bang, bang” by nancy sinatra while you do those pushups. this has nothing to do with the heat actually, its just something weird that you probably shouldnt do
4. you should shower at least three or four times a day…
but
5. …you shouldn’t presume that you dont have to use soap anymore at all since you’ve been in the shower at least four times in a 24 hour span, since “water is doing the trick”, nasty bastard
@The Champ,
lmao! Half of this ish don’t have nothing to do with Summer. Are you just listing things people teased you about?
@The Champ,
“come an hour late to this cookout with your 48 bottles of aquafina, just to insure that your water will stay practically untouched, and you can take at least 45 of those bottles home with you.”
You’re right about taking 45 bottles home because Aquafina has the nastiest after taste.
@The Champ,
“4. you should shower at least three or four times a day…”
Yessir. I hate that summery dirty feeling. If it’s hot enough, I could’ve taken a shower an hour ago and then all of a sudden, it feels like I haven’t taken one at all. Blah.
Ladies should also take note that when it is hot outside less makeup should be worn. Some women do not understand this and thus walk around looking like a melted candle. As for men…if you are outside and it is above 78 degrees and sunny please leave the 13lbs of jewelry at home. we all know it gets hot and burns the skin. Hood figgas just dont understand that metal in the sun on skin leaves you looking like u are an extra on Alien Nation(if u remember that show from the early 90s)
@Freaknik,
welcome and sh*t
Please carry trial sized deodarant with you (but don’t leave it in the car). You’ll thank yourself.
Ladies – oil wipes for your face are your friend.
Ladies – Please wear underwear. Dresses can fly up and I do not want to see your cooch.
@V Renee,
Ladies – Please wear underwear. Dresses can fly up and I do not want to see your cooch.
speak for yourself
@The Champ,
LOL!
@The Champ,
HA!
Do you wanna see everyone’s though? I think it’s better to be safe than sorry. lol
LMAO @ these comments!
Fellas, disregard the suss factor and just GET A BLASTED PEDI. There’s a reason I have yet to rub a brother’s feet: for one, I ain’t tryna get cut by yer hooves.
Team Chunk, don’t make me call a UN-style meeting cause some of you wanna wear shorts that can double as too-small boxers with the footless tights underneath (also: LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS.).
Ladies, if the girls sag even a *little bit*, please, oh, please get a bra that FITS. Leave the 27pc quick weave, sausage casing tees and the fishnet flats @ the beauty supply! In short, invest in stuff that fits and lasts a while…
@rainebeaux,
“invest in stuff that fits and lasts a while…”
Good point! Cheap summer gear seems to fall apart quicker than cheap cool weather gear
**sorry, can’t reply via the crackberry.
Oh, and about those flip-flops: if they’re getting their smooth criminal lean on, it’s time to invest in some new and better ones (especially if they help your feet scrape the floor/ground).
Ladies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dont- Wear jeans still its summer get a dress/skirt let ya legs breath i hate chick sayin my legs r fat so ima jus wear jeans shiiii i like ya phat a$$ legz thas why im wit you bring um out.
– wear booty shorts everywhere there is a time and place for everything/real talk yestaday i saw a chick standin out side tha grocery store tryna get donation money (ya know those charity people) in some dam coochi cutters im like are you serious she had a nice body but its safeway not a rap video (and no i didnt give her my spare change)
-dress older/younger than your age- know ya lane if ya to young dont try it and if ya too old dont try it i will laugh in your face or vomit on you seriously. also: if you aint workin out dont expose ya rolls to tha world we not ready and we will never be
-dress hella sexy and expect a dude not to holla- shiii why females wear tha shirt that show the lungs then expect us guys not to look. or wear the jeans that make the cakes look great and wonder why guys is lookin
Do- shave- ladies dont put the razor away now that the sun is out dont need to explain
-keep tha hands, feet, hair game on lock- thas the first thang i check out feet
@BLUNTBLAZER,
I’m sorry but I just can’t get with the shorts, jeans hold ish up that shorts won’t. I can wear shorts that are to my knees or I can throw on a dress or some capris. I know my legs are fat and I know some men like big legs but the cellulite ain’t cute.
@Ms. T,
Co-sign. I am a jeans fanatic and I can’t show the legs EVERYday of the summer. Besides, we womens need variety.
@BLUNTBLAZER,
“Do- shave- ladies dont put the razor away now that the sun is out dont need to explain”
*confuddled* I thought women put the razor away when the sun is away…not when it’s out. lol
“dress hella sexy and expect a dude not to holla”
I do wanna note that this defense can’t be the default response everytime a woman rejects a lame. Like if some lame dude tries to holler and the woman clowns their game and/or disses them, dont be like, “Well, you had them painted-on jeans, don’t expect me not to say something”. Sometimes it’s not about not expecting, it’s about your lame-arse game and you will get checked on it. Just like we should expect the hollas, you should expect the diss. lol
*dead* @ the donation chick in coochie-cutters. Epic fail. Jeebus should smite her.
@Cheekie,
Word em ups, G! I expect men to look. Not ogle and eye-fcuk me. That’s just rude!
OK, it’s my turn…had to marinate on it for a second.
Do hit up the park on a weeknight that is the aftermath of a beat-the-heat kinda day to enjoy a crispy cold bottle of brew and bump some good old school. That alcohol during that blazin’ *ss day is a no-no, but at 9pm is a divine reward along with the laughs had with whoever’s out (po-pos notwithstanding)
Do break out some color and knock it off with the all black. G’ahead wearin’ them damn heavy jackets too. We know you rough rugged and raw, homie (even though I could knock you out with my index finger like I’m Wonder Man) but I don’t need you making ME sweat because you feel you must look like a hood soldier at all times.
Do go bike riding…the beach, the hood, downtown, wherever, whenever, whatever (mountain bike, hybrid, road, beach cruiser). And run with a crew. The 2520s seem to be having fun doing it, why can’t we?
Do break out the weekend warrior cars early and often. The classics, the droptops, the hot hatches…yes, open the windows and open the throttle.
Don’t terrorize us with your douchey *ss motorsickle like you tryna audition for membership in Ruff Ryders or Sons Of Anarchy. Iron horses themselves aren’t the problem, it’s the overdoin’ it *ss ninjas (no pun intended) who pilot them. Calm down, quit tryna induce heart atacks 5 blocks down with your rev-ups, and turn those tacomeat oldies down because you ain’t no super lover, fringe-boy.
Don’t show up to the next Black Beach Day en masse in full D-boy regalia (AF1s, expensive jeans, tacky shirt of the month, and shines)…and then just stand around in big ominous packs. Y’all ninjas look more high maintenance and uncomfortable in your own skin than the broads y’all came to push up on.
And don’t bring smuke you don’t plan on passing to others.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Do go bike riding…the beach, the hood, downtown, wherever, whenever, whatever (mountain bike, hybrid, road, beach cruiser). And run with a crew. The 2520s seem to be having fun doing it, why can’t we?
This is summer talk I can get behind! Preach that good gospel of biking!
Well I can tell you secret couldn’t cut it fa me and that was in junior high, phuck mani’s or pedi’s never had one yet have been told I have pretty feet by the women and I was a foot messanger 3 times in NYC!
Now as for those do n donts: go somewhere-ya don’t have to actually leave ur city but get off the block like say ALL DAY, when comin home @ 6 am from a gig dudes look so lame on the benches -since I left @ 11p holdin court and the ladies too must go somewhere your girls or cuz house doesn’t count you can always tell who the ppl are that go nowhere all summer long. As for drinkin in parks @ nite not in nyc unless you have a thing fa dim witted cops, as for the gear well yous guys hit much of the important parts that’s all I got