Pop Culture

Black Heat: VSB Guide To the Dos and Don'ts of Summer Madness

Summertime is here and that means that the insane heat is going to be messing with people’s good judgment and common sense. Lucky for you, I, Panama Jackson, am here to provide some do’s and don’ts for the summertime, though really, these rules can apply all year. I’m all-purpose like that.

Follow me.

Do be conscious of the fact that all people cannot wear all things. If you are a 300 pound woman, you cannot wear a size 2 anything. With that in mind…

Don’t be afraid to be fat if you are. All women aren’t intended to wear tight clothing. If you’re of gut, cover it up. You shouldn’t wear form fitting clothing if you haven’t got any form. Newsflash: Your knockers should be up-top and differentiable from your stomach. Two sets of boobs works great for the circus. Life? Not so much.

serial mom download If you must wear short shorts, do tackle the spiderwebs, ladies. I’ve actually seen a chick who looked like she had a mop in a headlock THRU her shorts. A little minor gardening can go a long way.

And fellas, don’t wear short shorts. I’m aware with the current skinny jeans phenomenon that the gay look is in. It is a bad look.

Do enjoy the lovely outdoors.

Don’t f*ck it up by shooting somebody. You know the crime rates increase in the summertime because ninjas get hot and agitated. Calm the f*ck down.

Do use lotion on your flour-kickers if you must wear sandals. This rule does not apply to white people so much, though I do suggest using lotion on your feet anyway. But that’s more for health and not aesthetic reasons.

And along those lines…

Don’t overdo the baby powder, especially on the chest region. Not only do I not understand it, but you will walk around looking like you’re about to be put in a deep fryer. Again, not a good look.

Speaking of ungood looks…

Do make sure that you don’t try too hard to bring certain dead styles back. Like speedos. Once again, with the whole 80’s fashion faux-pas problem resurfacing, who knows what’s on the horizon.

Do wash your cars because there is nothing worse than driving around in the summer with a dusty ride. Women at bus-stops can’t really appreciate a dusty-mobile. At the same time…

…don’t write anything overly obscene on anybody’s dusty car. A simple “wash me b*tch” or “this f*ckin’ car is dusty as f*ck” will suffice.

Do make sure that your shoe game is in check. Keep them clean, especially your Air Force 1s (or Uptowns or Coke Whites, whatever you call them). For the life of me I’ll never understand why any grown man would walk around wearing shoes looking like they survived Vietnam. Women notice shoes, fellas.

mission to mars movie

As a caveat to a former one for the ladies:

Don’t wear shoes that are too small for your feet to handle. If you need to understand geometry and calculus in order to get your feet comfortably into your shoes, shoot yourself. Or if you’re not the violent type, just get some bigger shoes, sasquatch.

Do

watch who s your caddy online

make sure you summertime mackin’ game is intact. Please fellas, practice your game on minor league women you really don’t want before you go taking it to the big leagues. You make all men look bad when you have bad summertime game.

I realize that last one was bit jacked up and implies that some women should have game “practiced” on them. There is no set guideline for who the batting practice chicks are. Just assume you aren’t one. Mmkay, ladies?

Don’t deal with losers with zero game, ladies. It will have repercussions and reverberations for years to come on some sorry sap who really does like you. Feel free to clown a lame cat though. But give yourself a quota, only like, one a week or something.

Do go to a BBQ.

Don’t burn down a park. Smokey the Bear says only you can prevent forest fires. Hey, did anybody else ever notice that Smokey was always on the scene of forest fires? I’m not saying he lit them himself, but if there’s no fires he kind of doesn’t have a career now, does he? Think about it.

download the flock dvd

Do download the poseidon adventure movie enjoy the summer.

Any other dos and don’ts for the summertime we need to address?

Share.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3

Admin Note: You’re going to hate these soon. We’re going to constantly remind you that between now and July 25th, you TOO can nominate VSB for any of various awards for the 2009 Black Weblog Awards. Love us and never leave us alone. Thank you and goodnight.

Filed Under:
Damon Young

Panama Jackson is a co-founder of VSB and co-author of Your Degrees Won't Keep You Warm At Night: The Very Smart Brothas Guide to Dating, Mating, and Fighting Crime. He believes the children are our future and is waiting to find out if he is the 2nd most interesting man in the world.

  • http://www.myspace.com/igotastory melekaj

    Do make sure your hygiene game is on Ko.be type status- calm, cool, and Confident. If you sniffing around thinking it Might be you, it’s you!

    • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

      @melekaj, **AGREED**

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @melekaj, hmm…when i think Kobe status I think bad hygiene that’s covered up by a fake facade…

      …basically, Kobe is Febreeze.

      • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A. naturally….

        @Panama Jackson, …basically, Kobe is Febreeze.

        lol! that is the best description of Kobe i’ve ever heard.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Panama Jackson,

        …or axe

        • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

          @The Champ,

          LOL. Kobe just looks like he smells like axe deordorant.

          • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

            @Cheekie,
            and white mountain chick that let 5 dudes nut in tha draws

      • http://www.myspace.com/igotastory melekaj

        @Panama Jackson, i really laughed hard at that comparison

  • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ iloVEGrits

    If you are going to be in the sun for a long time, remove your sunglasses for a bit. There is nothing worse than the raccoon tan you get from wearing glasses while in the sun.

    Use deodorant. This is self-explanatory.

    Do something to your feet. A busted pedicure is inexcusable any time of the year but especially so in the summer. Get your toes done – or do them yourself – every two weeks, at a minimum!!!!

    Ladies: perfect two humidity defyin’, no frizz hair styles and work them to death. Busted hair, all shrunk up from the humidity is not the business. I don’t care if you’re natural – I am too! – no excuse to be looking like ya runnin north to freedom just cuz it’s hot outside.

    • overit

      @iloVEGrits, summer time is the best time to be natural, what’s the point of straight hair if its gonna frizz up, just embrace it. i know this isn’t a hair thread, but aside from mixed chicks, i love
      Olive Oil Moisturizing Hair Lotion (organic root).

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=73903598 Dom

        @overit,

        Yeah, that stuff truly works miracles. I use their oil sheen, shampoo, and conditioner as well. And I love the way it smells!

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @overit,

        “@iloVEGrits, summer time is the best time to be natural, what’s the point of straight hair if its gonna frizz up, just embrace it. i know this isn’t a hair thread, but aside from mixed chicks, i love
        Olive Oil Moisturizing Hair Lotion (organic root).”

        ***filed under “times when overit obviously confused vsb for nappturality”***

    • http://WWW.ITSSAULEWRIGHT.BLOGSPOT.COM SAULE WRIGHT

      @iloVEGrits,

      Deodorant and hygene is so necessary. The only thing worse than smelling someone that smells like boiling garbage truck juice is BEING the person that smells like boiling garbage truck juice. Chances are if you have been in 3 or more different places and you keep smelling a similar stank smell…it’s time to go home.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @SAULE WRIGHT, you know, i often wonder if people really don’t know that they smell…OR..are they just that bad of a person to know they’re funking like jamaica yet they continue invading people’s personal space from 10 feet away anyway.

        i want to believe in people. maybe some folks are just nosedeaf.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @Panama Jackson,

          smells dim over time, so i can see how someone smelling their same stank ass smell over and over again can be oblivious to it. this is why i have no problem telling strangers they smell like sh*t. its your duty as a citizen

        • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

          @Panama Jackson,

          I file all those folks who don’t smell themselves under the same folks that swear they have a good voice in American Idol auditions, causing Simon to roll his eyes and set the record straight.

          Them mofos know they can’t SANG! Same with the smelly folks. I swear, some people just need those smelly dangling lines over their head permanently, like in a comic strip. To warn people before they get too close.

    • http://twitter.com/jaect Jae

      @iloVEGrits, “humidity defyin’, no frizz hair styles ”

      Any suggestions? Sharing is caring.

    • http://www.museacdonline.com pgh muse

      @iloVEGrits, no excuse to be looking like ya runnin north to freedom just cuz it’s hot outside

      CTFU!!! oh VEG how I luv thee… let me count the ways.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @pgh muse, so count ‘em already.

        • Laneianna

          Sistahs!

          GIVE THE WEAVE A REST! If you low budget on your extentions, that shyt will matt up on you, and if you got that good Indian natural, and your roots rebel against the humidity… it just all turns out to be a hott asz mess!

          There is nothing with going natural for the summer time. If you picky… shave that shyt off get you some earrings and go Badu wit it… If you got a little bit, bust out the ole school pink and black sponge rollers, and if you have a little hang time on your lovely tresses, dont be afraid of heated rollers, or pin curls with bobby pins( if you cant sleep with rollers in your head) Pony tails, can be sleek and sophisticated, and you can find an abundance of acessories for you hair at the local GBSS ( ghetto beauty supply sto)…. To my dear lace front divas…. Take that shyt off and give that scalp some air…. that wig smell is almost equivilant to that “dred” smell, except worse!.. at least a person with dreds can get some circulation up top.. ( and yall know im not talking about the new do fashionable dreds… im talking bout them “real dreds”.. they may not stink, but I definitly would not say that the smell is plesant). Rock your summer glow ladies, and get your feet and heels together. What is the point of spending 69.99 on your jimmy choo “like” 6 inch backless strappy peep toe platforms if the back of your heels look like the cracked Nevada desert in the summertime during a fugged up drought?? WTF? Crusty heels can kill your ENTIRE look and all the effort you put into it.
          Know your personal lotion level… Me personally ( living in the very humid south) I only have to moisturize hands, feet, knees, and elbows during the summer. Make sure that you know your ash spots ( to my darker complected fam… please dont forget to moisturize around your mouths PLEASE).. I live in the south, so it summer most of the year… there are soooooo many comments i can make to this post.. i guess i will pause for now! lol!

          • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=73903598 Dom

            @Laneianna,

            LMFAO @ Know your personal lotion level

          • pinksghetti

            @Laneianna,
            “to my darker complected fam… please dont forget to moisturize around your mouths PLEASE”

            Lol,I’m lighter and a lot of times I have the” looks like I just ate a powdered donut” or “made out with the Pillsbury Doughboy” look too.

  • Yaa

    LMAO!!
    *Do make sure that when the temp rises that you arent walking around smelling like a steak & cheese.

    *Ladies Do make sure that you arent walking around with winter boot feet in summer sandals.

    *Don’t be afraid of a razor, Nair, clippers, or waxing. Nappy chest hair is gross fellas. Wads of hair in your pits ladies is shameful.

    *Fellas Don’t rock socks & flip flops IT IS NOT A GOOD LOOK!

    *Do not walk around with a wash rag to wipe sweat or to wear on your head to shade you from the sun.

    *Do not mix liquor and the sun!! It only causes violence. I think they should start labeling bottles with this warning!!

    • Toussaintthefree

      @Yaa,

      Feeling this post but I gotta a question, as a brother who sweats alot; how can I get all the sweat of me without a little towel? I look like I run through the Sahara with a suit when I’m outside for five min in 60 degree weather, if you have a solution hit me

      • http://WWW.ITSSAULEWRIGHT.BLOGSPOT.COM SAULE WRIGHT

        @Toussaintthefree,

        Iono why NOT have a towel, a sweaty brother gets about as much rhythm as a 2520 listening to the purcalator. Get yo towel fam, and grab me one too.

        • Ms. T

          @SAULE WRIGHT,
          I agree! Sweating is not cute! I hope she means don’t wear it on your shoulder or hanging out your back pocket so everyone knows that you have it, but please do carry one if you are prone to sweat!

          • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

            @Ms. T,
            yea i keep a towel on my head jus ta shield the sun tho it be hot in cali its gonna be in tha 90′s 2day shiiii

            • Princess Jai

              @BLUNTBLAZER, 90′s HA..It is supposed to hit 101 in some parts of TX today! Feeling like we touching the gates of H*LL!

      • Me fail english?

        @Toussaintthefree,

        Nah, I think some dudes NEED the towel. The sweat’s gotta go somewhere. Better on the towel than all over the people shorter than you!!

        • http://www.museacdonline.com pgh muse

          @Me fail english?, agreed. Eww.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @Me fail english?,

          “Nah, I think some dudes NEED the towel. The sweat’s gotta go somewhere. Better on the towel than all over the people shorter than you!!”

          lol…why did this make me think of patrick ewing?

          • Me fail english?

            @The Champ,

            Ugh@ his ugly sweat. I bet if his sweat drips on you, you start looking like him.

            • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

              Terminator Me fail english, EXCELLENT!

      • Yaa

        @Toussaintthefree, It’s not the towel but the way its carried. Walking around with a big towel over your shoulder is like walking around with pink rollers or a shower cap in my opinion. Why not a handkerchief or bandanas that can be pulled discreetly outta yo pocket (or purse)…used…and put back? This is what I was taught & what I teach my kids but…to each his own I guess.

        • Me fail english?

          @Yaa,

          I hear what your saying. Something about it looks very “home-like”, but hankies aren’t as absorbent. Plus smthg about putting a sweaty, wet cloth in my cool, dark purse doesn’t seem hygienic.

          • Yaa

            @Me fail english?, True but if you have to use a towel…can you just put it away? There is something about walking around with a bathtowel that seems gross as well.

            • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

              @Yaa,
              not a big a$$ bath towel like you goin to the beach but one of those towel you use to dry ya hands.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          @Yaa, you may have a point. be on the look out for Panama’s Designer Summertime Sweat Towels…for Men. Coming soon to a swap meat/flea market near you.

          or Asian-run Black hair supply store.

    • http://jdivaonline.com chaoticdiva

      @Yaa,

      I so saw someone at the pool donning flip flops and socks. SMH.

      • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ iloVEGrits

        @chaoticdiva,

        No you didn’t! wth?

        • JamaicanGirl

          @iloVEGrits, Flip Flop and socks is my biggest summer pet peeve, i live in South Florida and hood figgas wear that mess everyday, it should be banned.

          • Me fail english?

            @JamaicanGirl,

            Girl, when I was in Miami, I saw dudes in full length jeans, socks, sneakers a wife beater and two tees…on the beach! Hahaha!

            • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

              @Me fail english?,
              i hate sandals and flip flops guys should not wear flip flops and some girls shouldnt either

        • http://jdivaonline.com chaoticdiva

          @iloVEGrits,

          So did! AND he had on all black. And a backpack. Was grown as h*ll. And it was 87 sweltering sunny degrees, no breeze.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @chaoticdiva, flip flops and socks is the business. best fashion idea since writing on butts.

    • miss t-lee

      @Yaa,
      *Do not walk around with a wash rag to wipe sweat or to wear on your head to shade you from the sun.

      Man please!!! It was 104 yesterday…this is how I get down.

      • Yaa

        @miss t-lee, Really??? I use a handkerchief that I keep tucked in my purse.

        • miss t-lee

          @Yaa,
          Yes really…especially if I know I’m gonna be outdoors for a bit.
          100 plus heat ain’t no punk.

          • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Sula

            @miss t-lee,

            Girl tell ‘em!

            I don’t sweat a lot… but I could totally understand why someone would do that. This Texas weather does NOT play…. then you get into the office and it’s cold as Saskatchewan in winter… damn 2520′s *smh*

            • miss t-lee

              @Sula,
              I already know you feel my pain…ya’lls humidity down that way is way worse than ours.

      • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

        @miss t-lee,

        LOL…for real. I’m definitely sweat prone. I even try not to do the downtown strut (i.e. walk super fast like everyone else in a rush) when I’m going to work, but sometimes I can’t help it. I just don’t know how to walk slow down here. I pay for it when I get in the building though. lol

        Which reminds me…I have a major help question…will write it below in a new comment.

        • Me fail english?

          @Cheekie,

          Haha! you sound like me! Elevator be feelin like Satan’s armpit. They aint gots NOOO air circulation.

          Then I gotta do my cool off jig in the bathroom so ppl don’t make smart remarks like “Were you in rush to work?”

          • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

            @Me fail english?,

            *in-tune with the above*

    • Peysonic Temple #69

      @Yaa,

      “Nappy chest hair is gross fellas.”

      So its cool for men to be waxing and shaving chest nowadays. Seems pretty suss to me, NTTAWWT

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @Peysonic Temple #69, i’m with you. i’m gonna need to know when all this changed. i know women like a well-groomed man and all, but if you met a dude who told you he waxed, you wouldn’t side eye him?

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=73903598 Dom

          @Panama Jackson,

          I sure would. A guy I used to date told me he waxed his chest. That moment was the beginning of the end.

        • pinksghetti

          @Panama Jackson,

          Chest hair on men is pretty hot (it must be my love of men from the 1970′s, though Iwasn’t born until ’78) as long as it’s not like Alec Baldwin or Robin Williams.

          • Me fail english?

            @pinksghetti,

            We aint talkin regla ol’ chest hair, tho. We talkin’ tacomeats!

            • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

              @Me fail english?,
              i got tats(esp one of jessica rabbit-she dont look good hairy) so i shave the chest maybe like once a year a do the underarms to i hate havin a afro under my arm. hint deodorant cant get thru a fro

            • pinksghetti

              @Me fail english?,
              Oh ok, I just don’t want to see too many men looking like that belong in one of those boy bands who always have smoove chests even when they are in their 20′s.

      • treble

        @Peysonic Temple #69,

        agreed, men shaving “body” hair is def suss to me. Unless of course, in late night boredom, I’m the one who did the shaving. ;) Completely different.

      • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A. naturally….

        @Peysonic Temple #69,

        if a guy has a tat on his chest, he should not have to part his chest hair to be able to see it. seriously, chest hair is ok, just keep it cut low or shave it off.

        1. don’t have so much hair on your chest that your girl can cornrow it…that’s not what’s hot in these here skreets. please&thankyou

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Yaa, i’m with the masses. the towel thing is a must. i used to think this was a southern thing b/c growing up, we ALWAYS rocked hand towels to keep the sweat off. hell, if you didn’t have one you were often mad at yourself.

      when its 100 degrees outside, and the humidity is damn near on summer shower status, you need something to sop up the sweat.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Yaa,

      *Fellas Don’t rock socks & flip flops IT IS NOT A GOOD LOOK!

      this was my go-to weekend campus outfit for my first two years of college. afterwards, i graduated to a black beater, jeans, and mac and cheese tims

      • Me fail english?

        @The Champ,

        I never minded flip flops and socks. I think you shouldn’t go to the movies and restaurants in em. But if you’re just making a quick run to Target? meh.

    • Laneianna

      @Yaa,

      I dont mind a man with nappy chest hair… I wouldn’t say that hairy men are my type, but i think man hair is very masculine. And if you got u a mandingo with roots a lil closer to the muthaland.. bee-dee-bees are just something that is going to come with the package. This doesnt have anything to do with the post, but there are certin things about men that I dont mind… chest hair, receding hair lines, ugly feet(in referance to womens feet)…… those are just some things that men come with that I can appreciate. I am NOT into the metro dude!

      • Ms. T

        @Laneianna,
        I am NOT into the metro dude!

        Neither am I. I went to a fashion show the other day and all the men were wearing capris/ cropped pants! So not cute!!!

  • overit

    i really think we need a thread on deodorant alone. very few things annoy me, but the chucks of cottage cheese stuck in the stubble of your armpits NEED TO GO. make me sick! why on earth can’t you just take 2 minutes out your morning routine (which you clearly needto revisit) and handle that? i’m so tired of seeing that mess, and i have to say…the last few offenders have been sistas. i just need it to stop, and i don’t know how.

    *sacramental emergency*

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @overit, start a campaign. that’s how you stop it.

      and call steve harvey and michael baisden, for some odd reason, people actually respect their opinions.

      • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

        @Panama Jackson,

        lol.

        I just respect that Michael Baisden uses “fragganackle bull” on the regular.

    • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

      @overit,

      “i really think we need a thread on deodorant alone. very few things annoy me, but the chucks of cottage cheese stuck in the stubble of your armpits NEED TO GO. ”

      This, as they say, is what’s up.

      I especially hate the chicks that overly flaunt their armpits in Facebook pics and you can see the deoderant chunks hanging on to your armpit creases for dear life. Brush that ish off or something…you look diseased.

      Furthermore, deoderant companies need to stop making that type of chunky residue deoderant ANYHOW.

      • Me fail english?

        @Cheekie,

        lmao@ flaunting your armpits!!!

        • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

          @Me fail english?,
          thas why i shave um cause i like sportin the basketball jerseys/wifebeaters jus cant do it and girls should know better and if ya gonna shave shave all the way the deodarant can get stuck in the stuble also

  • Selah

    in other semi-unrelated news….

    I know someone asked this already, but I don’t remember the answer (sawwy) … when nominating y’all, there are three fill-in-the-blank thingees – “blog name,” “blog url” and email —- do they want yall’s email ( the contact@verysmartbrothas.com) … or mine?

    I should prolly go with my instincts and put my email…. but i’m afraid. LOL. thanks :)

    • luvtheshoes

      @Selah,

      This answer would be very helpful. I went yesterday, too, and wasn’t sure what to put.

      Can someone help us short-bus peoples?

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @luvtheshoes, i’m on the short bus too, cuz i honestly have no freakin’ clue. i usually leave stuff like this to Liz to answer.

        we’ll make sure she comes thru to clarify. the champ and i are the just the pretty faces and letters behind VSB, we make liz do all the heavy lifting.

  • http://WWW.ITSSAULEWRIGHT.BLOGSPOT.COM SAULE WRIGHT

    Fellas, you may not want to get a pedi, but DO sand down the stone you call a heel. If you can walk barefoot and your foot doubles as flint rock, you may want to check that out. ALSO, if your toes look like you are going to swoop down and grab a small rodent, you may want to take care of them claws you call nails.

    or you can just wear shoes instead of sandals.

    • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ iloVEGrits

      @SAULE WRIGHT,

      I literally lol’d at this.

    • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A. naturally….

      @SAULE WRIGHT,
      this hilarious and so very true. fellas, get a pedi, do it yourself, or let your girl do it, but please get it done.

    • http://www.museacdonline.com pgh muse

      @SAULE WRIGHT, humphf… men can get pedis too. And as THE ULTIMATE show of love (i missed yesterdays post :() his wife (i say wife cause if i’m just ur girl u AIN’T gittin’ this type of treatment I’m mean) I would handle them feets fo ya. Soak, sanding of the cracked heal, and filing of the talons. oh the things we do for love or to say i’m sorry i’m such a bytch lol.

      • http://WWW.ITSSAULEWRIGHT.BLOGSPOT.COM SAULE WRIGHT

        @pgh muse,

        I agree, men can get pedis too. I have nothing against it. I’m sure I’ll kick someone in the mouth they mess with my feet, can’t stand it.

    • Yaa

      @SAULE WRIGHT, I so agree!! I will have to say that even though A LOT of brothas dont have nice looking feet that they should pay attention to the grooming part of it. I will take ugly but groomed over ugly, cracked & fungi any day!!

    • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

      @SAULE WRIGHT,

      Fellas, DON’T be afraid or think you’re too macho to get pedis. Ashiness and crustiness ain’t macho, it’s nasty.

      I even read there are some businesses opening more masculine spa shops with big plasma TVs with Sportscenter or TV shows with Men eating giant turkey legs…ya know, what you neantherthals like.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Cheekie,

        Ashiness and crustiness ain’t macho

        **t-shirt potential**

      • http://WWW.ITSSAULEWRIGHT.BLOGSPOT.COM SAULE WRIGHT

        @Cheekie,

        Does it serve beer and the staff wear boyshorts and wife beaters…um, A shirts?

      • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Sula

        @Cheekie,

        some businesses opening more masculine spa shops with big plasma TVs with Sportscenter or TV shows with Men eating giant turkey legs

        You know what, that’s really not a bad idea… It would be Hooters, except you get your feet touched… Not bad, not bad at all…

      • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

        @Cheekie, we could use the more manly spots too (with women doing the feet of course, LOL)…

        Because it’s hard for guys to do the damn thing up in these shops that are basically built only for women, painted all PAINK, predominantly broads coming in, hair mags and tabloids everywhere, TV on some chickenhead show on channel 13…a man can’t sink his teeth into that.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      i see all you womenses talking that men should get pedicures. i’m not sure how i feel about that. i mean it sounds good in theory, but if you went into your salon and saw some dude in there getting his feet done, you’d talk about him and not in a “oh look, he takes care of his feet” you’d give him a bit of a double take.

      one of my boys apparently gets pedicures done and my girl saw him one day and came home and told me. she had a hint of “xxx gets pedicures…”

      kind of an evil snark kind of thing, except minus the darth vader mask and hand puppets.

      • SouthernGirl

        @Panama Jackson,

        i feel you. is a catch 22. i personally haven’t seen a guy or had any of my guys go but y’all at least need to take care of that sh1t at home. ain’t nothing wrong with taking some clippers to them toes.

        this chick i used to work with years ago got cut up, literally, from her guy in bed one night. they were sleeping and for whatever reason, dreaming, just turning over, whatever, he scratched his foot up against her leg and his toe nail was so sharp it cut her and she was BLEEDING! like, woke up in pain had to get out of the bed and put a band aid on it bleeding…smh.

        • treble

          @SouthernGirl,

          omg, I just literally lol!!!!! wow!! that’s a deal breaker!! Scarrin up my legs and ish with your lack of self maintenance!! Unacceptable!

        • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

          @SouthernGirl,
          exactly 99cents at ya local drug store some clippers and they will last foeva.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Panama Jackson,

        so basically, we should do it, but we hafta be on some jason bourne/ethan hunt type stealth sh*t when we do?

      • V Renee

        @Panama Jackson,

        I’m iffy about men sitting up in salons getting pedicures too. Something about it doesn’t sit right with me. Now if it’s my man, I will give him a pedi. But I don’t know about us sitting there together getting pedicures and ish. Sharing nail polish and sipping mojitos. Just doesn’t seem right.

      • pinksghetti

        @Panama Jackson,
        Maybe if while the guy is getting a pedicure he is reading Playboy or Penthouse magazine it would make us feel better, lol.

        • pinksghetti

          @pinksghetti,
          I forgot to add and not reading them for “the articles”.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            @pinksghetti, penthouse has articles?

            • pinksghetti

              @Panama Jackson,

              I’m a straight girl (who only peeked in her brother’s Playboy magazine once,hey it had famous women in it, lol). I’m not sure about Penthouse though.

        • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

          @pinksghetti,
          black tail cough cough

          • pinksghetti

            @BLUNTBLAZER,
            Oh yeah I forgot about that one, lol.

      • Me fail english?

        @Panama Jackson,

        I am COMPLETELY against Man-ny Pedis. You don’t need a pedicure to get your male feet acceptable. All you need is a damn nail clipper and MAYBE a pumice stone. WTF is the glitters for?

        • http://WWW.ITSSAULEWRIGHT.BLOGSPOT.COM SAULE WRIGHT

          @Me fail english?,

          lol@glitters

        • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

          @Me fail english?,
          wtf is the stone for? lol you step on it or sumthin

          • Selah

            @BLUNTBLAZER,

            LOL no… the stone makes those cracked heels smooth again when you rub them for a while with it (sometimes this takes a LONG while lol)

        • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

          @Me fail english?,

          LMAO @ glitters. Do they even do the extra stuff at the mani/pedi shop? I just thought men went to feel good about being catered to and/or because they don’t know what they’re doing to take care of their own ish.

          I swear if I see a dude getting nail polish and acrylics I will perish, I tell ya, PERISH.

          • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=73903598 Dom

            @Cheekie,

            I’ve seen this! Dude had a full set of acrylics w/ a design and evrything. He was my limo driver to prom. Hilarious!

        • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A. naturally….

          @Me fail english?,
          lol @ glitter.

          I’ve seen men get mani/pedi in my shop before, but they don’t get any polish on their nails. if i saw a guy getting the newforthesummer OPI on his nails, then that is a problem….

          • miss t-lee

            @N.I.A. naturally….,
            Yep.

            I don’t care how they hook them up, just make sure they are hooked up.

      • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Sula

        @Panama Jackson,

        if you went into your salon and saw some dude in there getting his feet done, you’d talk about him and not in a “oh look, he takes care of his feet” you’d give him a bit of a double take.

        Not at all… Last time I went, there was a very macho looking dude getting his feet done… The nails lady even thought we were together *smh*… I don’t find it awkward, I find it proactive.

        Your feet need to be taken care of, there is nobody to do it for you like you want it, you pay somebody to do it for you… Basic rule of capitalism. It works.

        • 8th Wonder

          @Sula,

          I totally agree. There was a man in the pedi chair next to me last sunday and there is no doubt in my mind he likes women. I am soooo pro-pedi for the fellas.

          Cause I’d rather soak in a bath of famine and locusts than give a man a pedi. Feet. Yuck.

    • Ms. T

      @SAULE WRIGHT,

      I don’t think men should get pedicures. I just think that they should not wear sandals!

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=73903598 Dom

        @Ms. T,

        I still dont understand this. I mean, mens feet get hot too. I’d rather see a man in sandals in the summer than some sneakers or god forbid Tims. Let your feet out, thats what summer is for!

        • Ms. T

          @Dom,

          Then maybe they should wear a harachi (?sp) or something cause I don’t like to see men’s toes except in the house.

          • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

            @Ms. T,
            chuuuuuuuuuuch one time you see my feet is in tha house and nigs dont swim so lol

        • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Sula

          @Dom,

          I am with ya.

          I am perturbed to see men wearing sneakers on the beach!! On the beach!

          Come on!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @SAULE WRIGHT,

      ALSO, if your toes look like you are going to swoop down and grab a small rodent, you may want to take care of them claws you call nails.

      LOL

  • http://WWW.ITSSAULEWRIGHT.BLOGSPOT.COM SAULE WRIGHT

    Oh, and DO lotion your WHOLE LEG. Socks stop at the ankle, lotion shouldn’t. Stop looking like you were getting cremated and stepped out at the last minute.

    • JamaicanGirl

      @SAULE WRIGHT, “Socks stop at the ankle, lotion shouldn’t. ” Yesssss you better preach!

    • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

      @SAULE WRIGHT, “Stop looking like you were getting cremated and stepped out at the last minute.”

      Youse a mess for this. lmao

    • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

      @SAULE WRIGHT,

      “Oh, and DO lotion your WHOLE LEG. Socks stop at the ankle, lotion shouldn’t.”

      This should be on national TV. Make this PSA, STAT.

      “Stop looking like you were getting cremated and stepped out at the last minute.”

      Oh my goodness, no. lol

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @SAULE WRIGHT, you know, its interesting you mention this b/c this is a topic for future examination…

      • V Renee

        @Panama Jackson,

        Obviously Champ won’t be writing this post about the proper ways to lotion. We all know he has a fight with the chalk all the time. And loses.

        • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

          @V Renee,
          i only use lotion 4-5 months out the year ya kno when tha sun comes out. ghetto tip*if you at a bbq eatin chicken and ya got some grease on ya fingas slap that on ya knee reall quick or that ashy heel

          • Me fail english?

            @BLUNTBLAZER,

            LOL! When you workin on your car do you slap motor oil on em too?

            • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

              @Me fail english?,
              naw diff colors lol

          • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=73903598 Dom

            @BLUNTBLAZER,

            I am in shock @ the ghettoness of it all.

          • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com blackberry molasses

            @BLUNTBLAZER,

            I imagine that would smell like B.O. mixed with cologne marinated in the smell at any fine KFC establishment. I just threw up in my mouth a little.

            **typing a request to Champ to not seat me near BLUNTBLAZER at the VSB BBQ (that is on the 32nd of Nevruary)**

          • V Renee

            @BLUNTBLAZER,

            if you at a bbq eatin chicken and ya got some grease on ya fingas slap that on ya knee reall quick or that ashy heel .

            EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! What if a chick gets to licking on you and rises up like “tastes like chicken”

            • Me fail english?

              @V Renee,

              That’s what her dirty ass gets lickin his knees!

  • http://jdivaonline.com chaoticdiva

    Wear sunblock, at least on your nose. Black people can and will get burned if they sit out for too long in the sun without any protection. A peeling nose is not whats up.

    Check your attitude. Nothing is worse than going to a party/pool/bbq and there’s someone with a stank attitude ice-grilling everybody. That’s how stuff gets started…

    Speaking of barbecues…KNOW HOW TO COOK. It is the worst to have your first official cookout, and you’re serving everybody undercooked chicken. Shoot, did you not learn from the flavor of love fiasco? (not that I even watch that show…but tu sabes…)

    Last, but not least: if you are single, seeing someone new, or dating every motherlover alive, GET TESTED and WRAP IT UP. Nothing is more of a summer buzz kill than unwanted creatures down south (not limited to babies, crabs, the clap, etc).

    • http://WWW.ITSSAULEWRIGHT.BLOGSPOT.COM SAULE WRIGHT

      @chaoticdiva,

      Last, but not least: if you are single, seeing someone new, or dating every motherlover alive, GET TESTED and WRAP IT UP. Nothing is more of a summer buzz kill than unwanted creatures down south (not limited to babies, crabs, the clap, etc).

      chuuch

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @chaoticdiva, i like your list b/c its about preserving life. everything you mentioned has some long term health implications.

      even the chicken cuz if i eat your undercooked chicken i can get salmonella and die, which directly f*cks up my long term health.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Panama Jackson,

        word. this goes along greatly with our bigger, crime fighting ideals. good job and sh*t

        • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

          @The Champ,
          thas why all my food has to be cooked well done dont come to my bbq if you want ya meat bloody.lol

      • Me fail english?

        @Panama Jackson,

        Yup. Death can be fatal to your life.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          @Me fail english?, that’s what i keep hearing.

        • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

          @Me fail english?,

          LOL, yeah, I hear they don’t get along well.

        • http://WWW.ITSSAULEWRIGHT.BLOGSPOT.COM SAULE WRIGHT

          @Me fail english?,

          If you die, I’ll kill ya

          • Me fail english?

            @SAULE WRIGHT,

            Ike, is that you?!

            • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

              @Me fail english?,

              Annie Mae, just eat the cake, please.

            • Me fail english?

              @Cheekie,

              WHAT?! I thought her homegirls had her back in that scene!! lol

              Bump this, we just gon have to skip to the end.

              Nam-yan-rang-ay-kyo, Nam-yan-rang-ay-kyo…

            • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

              *Anna Mae.

              Ugh, it took 85 years for me to correct this because the computer froze, grunting and ish like it was constipated all because I clicked “click to edit”. Then, the time ran out. I hate PCs…Naw, this calls for luvvie-speak (and it’s so apt): iHate PC’s.

            • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

              @Me fail english?,

              “Nam-yan-rang-ay-kyo, Nam-yan-rang-ay-kyo…”

              LMAO. I have declared that no one does a Buddhist chat cooler than Angela Bassett. She put some soul into it…it felt so powerful.

  • Blue Skyez

    Do drink LOTS OF WATER. No not red or purple koolaid flavored water that is 3 parts sugar and 1 part water. Don’t know if you are drinking enough water? Drink until your pee is the same color as water all the time. Your skin will not be ashy even if you do forget to lotion. Your eyes will be whiter. Your hair will feel softer. Your skin will be clearer. So many good things. I love water.

    Don’t avoid the sun because you don’t want to get black. Ninja…you are already black. Different shades of black are still black racially. Can’t stand when people say that ish.If you are scared that one/two shades of darker skin will make you look like you are related to Wesley Snipes then where SPF 1000 sunscreen before you go out.

    Do switch up the normal summer cook out/bbq for a nice quaint picnic sometimes and surprise people with your diverse tastes.

    Do get all the wearing you can out of you new white jeans or all white outfit, because after Labor Day you will look really lame wearing them. I had to learn this the hard way. LOL

    • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

      @Blue Skyez, “Don’t avoid the sun because you don’t want to get black. Ninja…you are already black. Different shades of black are still black racially. Can’t stand when people say that ish.”

      ^^^^^^ Co-signs this statement

      • 8th Wonder

        Co-signing the co-sign! I LOVE tanning! Black is so beautiful.

        • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

          @8th Wonder, Ain’t it though??? I just wish I could get darker!

          • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

            @Nicki Sunshine,
            yall crazy my arms tan alot cause im always rollin with my arm out tha window cali style lmao my son be light in tha winter so he look mex now that its he tanned like a mug catchin up to me talkin bout look dad im black again lol

    • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

      @Blue Skyez,

      “Don’t avoid the sun because you don’t want to get black. Ninja…you are already black. Different shades of black are still black racially. Can’t stand when people say that ish.”

      Most def. I LOVE my color when I’ve gotten more sun. It is so beautiful, I just wanna die. But, I can’t die because then I wouldn’t be able to show it off.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Blue Skyez, Don’t avoid the sun because you don’t want to get black. Ninja…you are already black. Different shades of black are still black racially. Can’t stand when people say that ish.If you are scared that one/two shades of darker skin will make you look like you are related to Wesley Snipes then where SPF 1000 sunscreen before you go out.

      on a related note, i often find it humorous how us lightbrites tend to go out of our way to get sun in attempts to approach a darker hue.

      i’m light. i aint getting but SO much darker.

      btw, i have an issue with black folks that go to tanning salons. ftl.

      • willnotbetelevised

        @Panama Jackson,
        I refuse to believe in black people who go to tanning salons like I refuse to believe in the bogeyaman.

        Just a caveat on the water: Don’t drink just water. You drink all water and no food or no something you are gonna mess yourself up! You will get sick as a dog, so either gatorade it up, eat some potato chips (salt helps, you need it to sweat) or something, get some minerals and electrolytes and sheeit.

        OH also if your black@ss has patchy skin tone issues, PLEASE do not be the one avoiding the sun. Tis better to be a shade darker and one color than looking like a calico cat.

        • Me fail english?

          @willnotbetelevised,

          My dermatologist told me that tanning to even stuff out just makes the dark parts really dark and the light parts slightly darker. So effectively the difference is more pronounced. And as someone who’s brownskinned on top, and light about the lower body, I can verify these findings :(

        • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

          @willnotbetelevised,
          gatorade is my best friend fruit punch 4sheeeezy

  • shay_d_lady

    Do see the new transformers movie… I just did …and LOVED it!!! that is all.. now off to bed

    oh co sign the shorty shorts.. I hate looking at pasty gelatinous ass man thighs….ugghhhhhh!!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=73903598 Dom

      @shay_d_lady,

      I saw it this morning too. It was okay, but I wasnt wowed.

      Actually, I fell asleep on it. No more midnight premieres for me….

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @Dom, so how do you know it was just okay if you fell asleep on it. you may have missed the greatest.scenes.ever.

        hmm?? hmm???

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=73903598 Dom

          @Panama Jackson,

          Doubt it. I only fell asleep for about twenty minutes at the most. I still saw 90% of the movie, and again, I wasnt as impressed as I was with the first one. They were trying a little too hard to impress.

          The desperation on screen, the alcohol, and the long day caught up with me around 2 am. Sue me.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Dom,

            lol, who goes to a movie premiere drunk?

            • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=73903598 Dom

              @The Champ,

              Let me live my life! LOL

            • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

              @Dom

              aaa-aaaaaaa-aaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaaaaay

            • Me fail english?

              @The Champ,

              Haha. Smthg tells me the premiere wasnt the most interesting part of her day.

        • shay_d_lady

          @Panama Jackson, @Dom, so how do you know it was just okay if you fell asleep on it. you may have missed the greatest.scenes.ever.

          hmm?? hmm???

          naww she didnt.. i mean if you are going for actual plot and acting.. but if you are going for transformers, fights and lots of optimus prime (who I have an unhealthy fascination with)..this is the one for you!