Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Pop Culture, Race & Politics, Theory & Essay

We All Know That Black Girls Do That Right?

Now that's some good dome.

One of the most common myths in the Black community (yes, the whole entire Black community) is that Black women aren’t brain surgeons. And I don’t mean the types with M.D. after their names either, though I’m sure for the women with M.D. after their name the double entendre has to be hilarious. I’ve heard for years that oral sex was a white woman sport, even being immortalized by poet laureate Plies in his now famous song, “Becky”.

By the way, please don’t ever listen to Plies. Listen to me now; believe me later on.

Well, the myth, along with the devil, is a lie. On “Braxton Family Values”, WEtv’s show about the lives of Toni Braxton and her sisters, Trina admitted that she gave some dome to a band mate of hers causing Tamar, the loud-mouthed, often wrong, and absolutely most extra woman on the planet, to claim that Black women didn’t do that.


Say what? Oh no she didn’t. I can personally say that I’ve only known two Black women ever who “claimed” to have never “done that.” And honestly, I don’t believe them. At all. Both of them protest that the act itself is too nasty to do with anybody outside of their husbands, of which neither has one. Coincidentally, neither is engaged or married OR opposed to any man giving her special kisses where the “sun don’t shine”. And to complete the murder, they’re not smart enough, fine enough, or funny enough to NOT do it. And yes, I wrote that out loud.

I can honestly say that aside from those two women, every other woman I know not only engages in the act, they actually enjoy it. Hell, some women are to the point where they enjoy it so much that they offer tips to their wayward friends who either don’t know, don’t show, or just don’t care to learn what’s going on in Mr. Roger’s neighborhood. At this point in our collective sexual histories, very little is taboo or even off limits. Sex is everywhere you want to be. It’s like Visa. Not to say that anybody should be acting reckless with their sexual exploits and yes, you should use protection and preventative measures if you’re going to casually engage in any type of sex.

But real talk, a Black woman – or any woman for that matter – giving a man head is so not a big deal. Trina was right to say that. It’s a part of the sexual experience that most men and women share with one another. And very few men are really going to look at a woman with disgust after she’s dropped down and got her seagull on. If she’s any good at it, he just might propose. Take note.

Now of course, as a man you can’t go expecting every woman to top you off just because. And maybe that’s where it all gets lost in translation because a lot of men view it as an entitlement as opposed to a privilege, like we do with sex. And yes, that is a problem. So maybe Black women just like to teach their men a lesson about entitlements and I suppose that’s fair.

But that has NOTHING to do with the fact that women actually enjoy the act of giving some of that good ole kneepad love.

So Tamar is again, as with so many other things in life, wrong. Plus she’s married. You can’t convince me that she’s not topping off Vince. She’s WAY too annoying to stay married to if you aren’t being satisfied in the bedroom.


Anyway, the larger point is, where the hell did this myth even come from? And why does it persist? Does it even persist? Are there any women out there who really believe this to be true?

Inquiring minds would like to know.

Civil rights, y’all. Civil rights.


For the DC heads, its time again for another edition of REMINISCE! at Liv Nightclub this Saturday, February 4th, 2012 from 930pm til 3am. It’s all 90s everything and anybody who has been will tell you this party is a motherf*cking monster. It’s FREE BEFORE 11PM WITH RSVP ($10 after) (click the link to RSVP), OPEN BAR FROM 930-1030PM (doors open earlier b/c people keep showing up MAD early) and no dress code. Supa Qool DJ Quartermaine on the 1s and 2s. Come on out and we’ll see you on Saturday night! Peep the FB event here!

Filed Under:
Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • MadScientist7

    i don’t know where this myth came from. i personally have never had a conversation with a woman who said she didn’t bop. even the most uptight, seemingly shrewd women claim they only do that with their man. i can respect that. even if you just don’t want me to know just don’t say anything. don’t tell me that you don’t give head. that’s along the lines of a woman telling me she doesn’t masturbate ever. you need more people.

    • The Human Spider AKA Spider Jefferson

      I agree. If you not trying to bop, then say you don’t wanna bop, but don’t try to put yourself on a pedestal to make yourself look good.

    • southernsweetness

      what a kick-azz first comment.
      and may I say, no good can EVER come from revealing what you WON’T do in bed. this goes for the fellas as well. i hate to hear of a man who is sexually inhibited. free your mind.

      • Deviant

        and the azz will follow…

        • southernsweetness

          LOL. true.

    • GypsyCurl

      I can truly and honestly swear before baby Jesus, I have never done that. I can’t get over the stigmatism of it.

    • Panama Jackson

      you make an excellent point. telling me you don’t do it is like telling me that either 1) you think you’re too good, 2) you dont think i deserver it or 3) you spend all your time on your knees you just dont want me to think that you do. lol

      • GirlSixx

        9 times outta 10 it’s usually reasons 1 and 2.

        Now You Know… lol


        • R_G_Love

          Speaking as a previous “uh-unh, I aint doin THAT!” girl, the thought of it was pretty intimidating. Since we’re blinded by girls like Trina & Becky who do it all the time, the things running through our heads are “what if I’m horrible at it? can he feel my teeth? do I have to keep going until he ____?” Yes, this is what women think. After expressing these thoughts to a guy, he was like…”just try it. no dude will ever tell you to stop. we’re willing to teach!” Now I’m free lmao.

      • MadScientist7

        yep. and if any of those three are true i don’t want to be bothered with you.

  • Vanity in Peril

    Well played, good sir. You threw out the bait but I doubt I’ll bite. Pun so not intended. I like that one tall tale out there that goes; black women are like people who do things and don’t do things just like errrybody else. It tickles me.

    The entire Braxton Family Values Attention clan owes me a reparations check. Just because.

    • femme noire

      The entire Braxton Family Values Attention clan owes me a reparations check. Just because.


      • Chelsea

        “The entire Braxton Family Values Attention clan owes me a reparations check. Just because.”

        Girl preach! +1

    • Rewind

      Can they pay you in weave? Cause that’s a lot of expensive Indian hair worth more than Toni’s records. You get the scissors, I’ll get the # to a hair shop, meet you in Antigua for margaritas. deal?

  • nillalatte

    I don’t believe it because all the black women I know make sure they have the full experience of sexual contact with their dude. They enjoy making pleasuring him and he enjoys making them pleasured. I thought for the longest that black men didn’t go down because they played like they didn’t do that. Ha.ha Such liars. Now it’s like every freaking man I know loves taco Tuesdays! LOL

    • Mo-VSS

      Girl stop…I had two bf’s who didn’t go downtown and thus they never got lip service. I’m not with Tamar on a lot of things but one thing she said in that episode that I 100% agree with is until he does, I don’t.

      Otherwise, we’re good to go :D

      • Justmetheguy

        ” And to complete the murder, they’re not smart enough, fine enough, or funny enough to NOT do it. And yes, I wrote that out loud.”

        And that’s comin from the kinder more polite and empathetic half of the VSB duo lol
        You had me rollin on the floor throughout this one man. So true tho. The only time I had issues with black women doing it was in high school and once in college. Back when they were more naive and too into their perceived image instead of the optimal sexual experience. Mo-Vss has the best policy though, cause back when I was narcissistic and immature I would definitely accept favors and not offer to give. I’m not like that anymore, I enjoy doing it, but that’s only if I don’t smell anything foul…

        • Jay

          And to complete the murder, they’re not smart enough, fine enough, or funny enough to NOT do it. And yes, I wrote that out loud.

          Yeah, I remember the “Days of Denial” AKA high school. EVERYBODY was denying it back then, at least where I’m from. Kind of like if you ask any middle school boy if he is a virgin. I guarantee that the answer will range from no to HELL no, when in most cases everyone is.

          • That Ugly Kid

            Not in Chicago. I went to a college prep (read: supposedly better than “regular” high schools) high school where being a virgin was a rarity. If you came into high school a virgin, that would be changed by years end. A sure fire method to have a lot of sex was to join the school band. D*mn near all the females in the band were heauxs.

            Now as for the myth that black women don’t give dome. I’m afraid, from personal experience, I have to co-sign. I know me being 22 means I don’t have as much dating experience as the lot of you, but of all the women I’ve dated, only ONE of them actually liked giving dome. Scratch that, she loved it. The other women I’ve dated, said it was “too nasty” and they weren’t into that. In fact, my ex who I was with for 2 years (we recently broke up), admitted that even though she did it semi frequently, she didn’t WANT to. She didn’t like it. She only did it to make me happy. But yea, from my perspective, black women just don’t give head.

            • Mena

              Find another woman the next time. Just saying. It can be the most empowering experience that a woman can have during sex. Especially if the guy is holding onto the sheets, wall, steering wheel, etc for dear life…from what I hear.

              Just joking about finding another woman. But if you find one that is comfortable and will grab hold like it is a baton in a 4×4 track competition, your life will never be the same.

              • WIP

                That power is a great feeling.

                • Mena

                  It REALLY is. That’s why I enjoy it SO much. It has everything to do with him… Let me not get started this morning.

                  • Rewind

                    That’s how I feel about giving a chick face time. Just knowing that my tongue can create convulsions for the body is a tickle to my ego. Plus my moustache gets a healthy shine. No complaints.

              • Corey

                I’m not joking when I tell you to find another woman. There is no reason for you to go without just because she’s too worried about somebody she doesn’t even know thinking something she’s not even aware of about her. In my book this falls directly under sexual compatibility. If she ain’t slobbin, you need to be mobbin. That’s your 2012 anthem sir. Roll with it.

            • WIP

              Yes, it is your age. You’re 22- give it about 10 more years- or date a 30 year old. Our s.e.x drive is on fire and we’ve embraced being nasty. LOL

              • A Woman’s Eyes

                You don’t have to be in your 30s to be on fire. I was on fire at 19 when I learned it. Find you another woman, TheUglyKid.

              • Marzell

                Age doesn’t have anything to do with it, I’m 24 and I’ll go down on my girl any time any day. It has more to do with the person their preconceived notions about the act or what their parents told them about it. It may also stem from insecurity. Whatever the case may be no one and I say again NO ONE should go without top in 2012. Tell em’ to get with it or get lost!

          • erika

            T’is true. I remember back in the day no chick, worth her weight in Funyuns, wanted to be known to ‘rap on the microphone’.

            Now I gotta sit at the dinner table and listen to girlfriends talk about the head games they like to play.

            • Corey

              You don’t join in the convos?

            • DQ

              “Weight in Funyons”? Man y’all and this imagery… y’all are killing me with laughter.

        • Cheekie

          “And that’s comin from the kinder more polite and empathetic half of the VSB duo lol”

          LOL, nah man. Panama is the historic arsonist… it’s only recently that Champ has gotten the reader vitriol. Panama is a lot of things, but “polite” he ain’t. He’ll pay for a drink, doe. LMFAO.

          But seriously, that ninja never holds his tongue (TWSS). He just does it in a way that makes you hate him first then laugh afterward. Slick self.

          • SpottieOttieDarlin

            iDied @ TWSS… hahaha

  • Iceprincess

    My homeboi said he wuz f*ckn wit this chick & she doesnt giv head. We talkn bout a grown azz 27 yr old woman. She prolly thinks that makes her all high & mighty, if only she knew how bad we used to jone her behind her back. Its 2012, not 1812 lmao. GTFOHWTBS

  • kenyamcqueen

    Tamar is absolutely thee most extra woman on the planet!!!!! I don’t see how/why Vince puts up with her smh

    • Mo-VSS

      Have you seen what he looks like? LOL That’s why he puts up with her.

      Who knows though. He might like that behavior.

      • SpottieOttieDarlin

        “Have you seen what he looks like? LOL That’s why he puts up with her.”

        iCant! …. I was thinking the same thing.

        • Bey

          Ummm, idk about that one. If they get divorced tomorrow I think Vince would get chose WAYY before Tamar. And to add insult to injury, I’m willing to be the next chick would be badder… Just my thoughts. *shrug*

  • D

    What about Khia’s anthem: “My Neck, My Back (Lick It)”?

    • Cheekie

      I bet everyone is trying to forget they remembered that song AND her. She looks like she sneezes STDs.

      • naturalista88

        I just died 1,000 deaths because of this comment *lol*.

      • SororSalsa

        Not the airborne herpes!!!! SMH

      • Telekendall

        didn’t she just get married?????

        • Cheekie

          LOL, I think so.

        • Royale W. Cheese

          Wow. Well let me just go jump off a bridge right now. I officially have a relationship IQ of negative 40.

      • erika

        This is one of my biggest fears… STD’s going communicable.

        • Deeds

          Then they would no longer be STD’s but just regular diseases.

        • just for today

          By definition, all STDs are communicable. Maybe you mean more easily than they are now”.

      • tasty thoughts

        *Closes Casket*

      • MsDre’

        OMG…She sneezes STD…(priceless)

      • Jimna

        That comment….
        …… Slayeth!

      • Chanelle

        “I bet everyone is trying to forget they remembered that song AND her. She looks like she sneezes STDs.”

        Lmao quit hatin at least she was sexy tho

        • Cheekie

          She was? Huh.


          • Chanelle


      • MicTheMessenger

        excuse me miss, you’ve got some gonorrhea on your lip.

      • SunaoButterfly

        Why, Cheekie? WHYYY?

    • The Human Spider AKA Spider Jefferson

      I erased it from modern memory. Otherwise, I would’ve just driven a sharp object into my brain.

    • TheRealestLeo

      More like herpagonosyphiliclapaids. lmao

  • Lady Ngo

    I really truly to my core don’t know why its so hard to believe that *gasp* there are some womenfolk that ain’t interested and that 9 times outta 10 it has nothing to do with how we think a man will view us. And lowkey..just cuz people give service with a smile (see what i did there) doesn’t mean they like it. Maybe they just like YOU.

    • MsDre’

      Well said..

    • Wild Cougar

      It’s not hard to believe, men know there are plenty of women who don’t give head and plenty more who will do it but don’t enjoy it. Id say that makes the majority. You have a minority of women who enjoy the act. With anyone. Men need to quit watching internet naked Disney and tryna force that ish into reality.

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        Why is it that dating sites never talk about “how to find out if you and she are sexually compatiable”? because I see how that can create problems… A woman who doesn’t like to give head, for some reason will share this tidbit after he’s thinking they are sexually compatiable.

        Ladies if you hate head, don’t wait until you are naked to tell him.
        Don’t offer head when you’re married to deflect the topic or to have him marry you thinking he’ll get head.

        Men don’t do that. I’ve never heard of a man promising head when he gets married, then getting married and she complains that he won’t give her head.

        Stop the deception. lol

        • Justmetheguy

          ” Ladies if you hate head, don’t wait until you are naked to tell him.
          Don’t offer head when you’re married to deflect the topic or to have him marry you thinking he’ll get head.”

          That’s a whole bother topic right there. I have first hand experience with a chick who pulled the ole bait and switch. Had me thinking that not only did she give it, but she gave it consistently and enjoyed it, then after we got into a serious relationship got all bratty about it and hardly EVER did it. Hell it wasn’t even a granted that I’d get it on my birthday. The importance of sexual compatibility is SOOO underrated that it’s scary to think about how it’s ruining otherwise good couples/individuals…

      • Panama Jackson

        hmm…surprise, but i dont agree. maybe my experiences are just different or all the women i’ve…hmm… been involved with were extreme fakers…but i never had to ask for it…. maybe i keep meeting that joyful minority.

        i love minorities.

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          *snorts laughing*

        • Wild Cougar

          It’s cause you’re cute as a button. What woman would say no to a man so cute you just want to eat him up.

          • A. Faulkner

            *Stops lurking just to say* I saw what you did there… ( ._.)

          • Panama Jackson

            well gee ma’am.

            golly. thanks.

        • mike

          SMH at dudes that actually ASK for it…..i’m wit Panama on this, never asked, never had to…if she didn’t, she didn’t……but shit, then again maybe she will or would #drakevoice….if i asked…LOL.

  • Malik

    Where the hell did this myth even come from?
    Black church going women made it up as part of a PR campaign to desexualize the perception of Black women.

    And why does it persist?
    1. Black women claim not to in an effort to combat the culturally entrenched Jezebel image that men have for them.

    2. Black women are hyper-religious.

    Does it even persist?
    Very much so. I mean they still SAY they don’t. I don’t know how many actually follow through with that though. A lot still feel shame afterwards.

    • Mo-VSS

      Who are these women feeling shame for paying lip service to someone of their choice? I don’t get it. I know a lot of women have issues surrounding sex. It’s something that we, black women, need to address though (individually and collectively). Just because we’re painted as hypersexual doesn’t mean we have to adopt anti-stances on certain sexual acts as a way to compensate for that perception. (besides, people will think what they want anyway)

      • Malik

        Well if it was up to me, everyone would have to spend 100 hours of masturbation alone before they were allowed to be intimate with another person so they can learn their body first and a partner(s) second (and third or fourth or fifth…).

        • TWIsM

          100 hours?!? That’s a lot of… studying. You’ll be raw, blind, and narcoleptic at the end of that.

          • Kidsister04

            Absolutely #slayed

          • Malik

            Not consecutive. You’d never want to do it after all of that. lol

            • The Human Spider AKA Spider Jefferson

              For some odd reason, I actually wanna attempt this…

          • erika

            Darn you! You made me spit on my computer!

          • Cheekie

            Not narcoleptic, doe. TWIsM, you SLAY me. Buffy.

        • Mo-VSS

          Ha ha…I do have a philosophy that goes a little something like this:

          If you ask a man to come pick you up for a date but don’t give him directions, how do you expect him to find your house? Sex is much the same way. Men won’t “just know” everything about you so communication is key. And in order to communicate what you like you have to know what that is. And you get to know by getting to know (biblically) yourself.

          •!/IluminatiNYC Todd

            Preach! Too many women expect a brother to just know, and if he doesn’t, he’s lame. WTF?

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            Yes, Mo-VSS & Malik.

            Knowledge is why I enjoyed it. I had a great teacher.

            I would also add a mirror for the ladies so they can see what their vulva and clitoris looks like. Some women have no idea, and are squeamish about their own vagina.

            Men, pick women who go to their GYN every year faithfully. Women who are aware of their bodies will notice if they have an odor and need to see a doctor about that. A woman who notices she has a cut, an ingrown hair, a grey hair will be more comfortable with sex.

            We talk about oral sex, yet there’s women who thought it was crazy that I went and got a Brazilian wax. But it is my vagina. I better take care of it, it is the only one I have.

            • Mo-VSS

              +1 on all of that.

              Also, I have family members, grown women 25+, who will not get a wax EVER. That right there…shameful!

              • MicTheMessenger

                jawn lookin like the amazon rainforest. no light WHATSOEVER. strange creatures we thought were extinct. Vines and trees and bushes and shrubs and exotic hours and strange smells


                • A Woman’s Eyes

                  That explains the reason behind the funniest euphesism I’ve heard for vagina…..Cookie Monster!

                  Explains alot!

        • Gem Jones

          100hrs of masturbation?!?!?! omg that is waaaaaay excessive!! hell, i dont think ive done 100hrs in my entire life. and i have gotten it in (quite literally).

          • Corey

            Don’t underestimate yourself Gemmie. Times flies when you’re…having a relative moment.

            • Gem Jones

              time does fly. but i damn sure dont need 100hrs worth. give me 5min tops and im happy 2 maybe even 3x.

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            I think its better to set a number for orgasms for women vs. hours of masturbation. . . So 100 orgasms before having sex with another person.

            If you can give yourself lots of orgasms, you are learning your body :-)

            Orgasms keep the vagina lubricated, and kegels are great. Without those, the women who are waiting until marriage to have sex, but do not have sex with themselves, and are getting closer to 30s, 40s will deal with less muscle tone and vaginal lubrication. (dry vagina)

            Use it so you don’t lose it.

            • Corey

              That last part sounds traumatic. That’s the kind of thing that could get a woman who waited for quite a long time divorced in short order. EWWWW!!!

              • A Woman’s Eyes

                Corey, When uptight women they brag to me about the sex they’re not having until they’re married, and they don’t do this, don’t do that in bed, they don’t have sex with themselves, eww thats nasty, I reply “I guess it will dry up” and walk off.

            • CPT Callamity

              Nothing, I say again, nothing is worse than a woman not knowing her own body. Dudes too but I have encountered more women who were ashamed of their body or who didn’t masturbate by saying “he needs to do that not me, I don’t need to” or whatever. They were usually the worst lays too.

            • Gem Jones

              @A Woman’s Eyes

              yessssss let the ppl know!!!

            • Deeds

              do not have sex with themselves, and are getting closer to 30s, 40s will deal with less muscle tone and vaginal lubrication. (dry vagina)

              Loose muscle tone doe…ok I learn something new everyday.

            • MicTheMessenger

              Man, i read this article that talked about women who stay virgins into their 40s and 50s and by that time, sex is absolutely painful for them.

        • SunaoButterfly

          Does this count for community service? Cuz this is a straight-up PSA right here.

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        ” Who are these women feeling shame for paying lip service to someone of their choice? ”

        The best way to find that out is to talk openly about sexuality with your female relatives and married church ladies. If the marital bed is not defiled, they will either be open talking about this with you (in the context of married sex) or they will be offended.

        Yet sexuality is a topic we need to discuss in order to understand ourselves, and pick better partners.

        I believe that some women can be in a relationship with a man she likes, but not like sex with him. (I don’t go for that, but more power to her if she likes that) But I don’t know that a man can do the same.

    • LegallySouthern1

      Word on the church streets as heard from my brothers in christ is “the best dome comes from those chicks DEEP in church.” I’m not sayin its true, I’m sayin *THEY* sayin its true.

      • Corey

        As a PK, I can verify this statement as 103% accurate.

        • Kiwi

          103% ???
          As a friend of a few PK’s, I’m not disagreeing but thats alot of assurance

      • MicTheMessenger

        I’m a preacher’s kid, and i approve of this message.

        *thumbs up*

    • Justmetheguy

      ” A lot still feel shame afterwards.”

      Yeah, a lot do unfortunately, but the tide is changing. Think about how big of a deal it was 15 years ago (especially when Lil Kim was out) and how it’s just something that is part of a sexual act/experience. In 20 years they’ll be thinkin of the times when it was taboo and looking at those ppl with as much distance as we look at our enslaved ancestors…(ok maybe I’m exaggerating just a lil bit lol)

      • V Renee

        Just because you mentioned Lil Kim, I have to throw out my favorite line of hers: I used to be scared of the dikk/now I throw lips to the sh*t/Handle it like a real bytch.

        • WIP

          Thank you for repeating this line. It is also one of my favorites. Lil Kim, on occasion, spoke some real sh*t. LOL

          • Justmetheguy

            V Renee and WIP- That’s a line I didn’t even remember but as I got older and traveled to/lived in different cities I realized that that line is EVERY woman who listened to Lil Kim growing up’s favorite line from her! It’s like the one that resonated with ALL YALL! lol “It’s provocative, gets the people goin” I’m sure it sums up many grown and sexy women’s attitude towards the fun times and I wouldn’t have it any other way :)

            • MicTheMessenger

              Honestly, i think if offered, i’d actually decline head from lil kim. but teyana taylor doe…

              • Justmetheguy

                Yeah, Lil Kim had to talk her sex up and get hyper sexual for attention. She was never attractive. Had to look up Teyana Taylor, but yeah. Seal of approval on that young lady. I like dem lips! :)

        • Mena

          Dude, this was the first time I heard a chick rap about this type of stuff!!! My brother owned the album and I was blown away. Now I know that whole darn song by heart.

          • Justmetheguy

            @ VRenee and WIP- What y’all probably don’t realize is that’s EVERY WOMAN who listened to Lil Kim grown up’s favorite line by her lol. I’ve lived in 4 different states and that’s what they ALL quote with fervent enthusiasm lol. It’s like the line that sums up most of their sexualities to a tee I guess, either that or it gets the people going like that Kanye and Jay line (“Got my ninjas in Paris and they goin gorillas HAAA!” lol. Either way y’all all looooooove that one. Wit ya nasty *sses lol

    • Hawaii

      “Black church going women made it up as part of a PR campaign to desexualize the perception of Black women.”

      I really do believe this is true though.

    •!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      Sadly, playa, I have to say from my dating days that it’s not just a myth. Is it oversold? Yes. But there are Black women out there that don’t give head…even after I freely kissed the love below with no expectations. Of course, the selfish heauxs didn’t get a second invite from the kid, but it happens.

      What I do think is more common is that Black women tend to do it out of obligation instead of liking to make their man happy. Like you said, Black women are so afraid of being the Jezebel ™ that they go way to the left with it and act all weird about brain. As I’ve also had a few Beckys in my day, they tend not to have that baggage, making head just…head, not a metaphysical reenactment of Slavery where they were Forced to Service Master ™.

    • Wild Cougar

      Good theory, but its more likely the fact that having a stick in your mouth gagging you is not pleasant. Especially since that stick is intimately involved in human waste. You need to really like the person to get past those two things.

      • Corey

        Wait a minute….does somebody have head issues…..?

        • Wild Cougar

          Nope, just stating a fact. The tool is an inherently disgusting and uncomfortable thing to have in your mouth. You have to get over that fact to get into it. If you have no incentive to get over those issues, it will continue to be disgusting and uncomfortable. Kinda like smoking.

          • Deviant

            But you’ll let that same “tool” all up in your person? Stirring up your bodily fluids? And grazing your womb?!

            Shenanigans have been called.

            • Wild Cougar

              Puhleeze. Stop. Just stop. You know, I know, every damn person in here knows that putting something in your mouth that touched human waste is more disgusting on a basic level than putting it in your vagina.

              You play too damn much. Please cut that bull right on out. Not having it.

              • Anon

                But I’m sure you’d have little to no qualms with anyone rubbing their face into your less than antiseptic vagina.

              • Deviant

                You can use Listerine in your mouth. Your veej? Not so much.

                • Wild Cougar

                  *cough* douche *cough*

            • Wild Cougar

              For those of you who don’t know, (can’t see how anyone wouldn’t) I am a fan of the giving of the dome. With a guy i really like who has given me respect and affection. If that situation is not present, its gross and im not into it.

              Just because I will do it freely without moral compunction does not mean I’m indiscriminate. No, not just anyone can get it. I do have standards.

          • suburbanthug1

            *stops lurking for a sec* …and letting someone’s face in your place in your place is not? Dudes will lick the kitten, no problem, but to sit here and say that blood and other bodily fluids dropping out the hole of life don’t give some men pause? Surely you jest.

            • Wild Cougar

              I never said it wasn’t unsanitary. I have no problem with a man who doesn’t want to go down because of what happens in that area. His prerogative. If he’s into it, great, if not, no problem. I might just do him cause I feel like it. It’s not a competition. I happen to prefer regular chex anyway. Doesn’t change the fact that peens are kinda gross.

          • poeticion

            Fact: more things come out of the vaag than the jawnson. Blood, discharge, kids, urine, semen. AND things go into it too. Nothing goes into the jawnson except that little annoying swab from STD tests. Even though that could make the vaag seem like a cesspool, it can still be a tasty treat when it’s fresh and well groomed. Let us not trip….

            • MicTheMessenger


              I dies. I dies.

            • A Woman’s Eyes

              omg when I read “kids” I had this visual of smiling happy children doing the Soul Train line out of the vagina. *LMFAO*

            • indigo

              lmao, I’m so mad at kids, urine, and semen….

              kids and semen by choice, not naturally. urine…wrong orifice haha

        • Mena

          I agree with WC on this and as someone said on this post, if your first experience is someone grabbing your head and forcing you down on it, making you gag, I can see how that is a horrible experience. I couldn’t even imagine if it were like that my first time. I would probably never want to do it again. Guys can be idiots and girls, trying to please their boyfriends or whoever the person is can be idiots also by not speaking up if this crap happens. You want to shove my head down on your pipe, I may catch a case of lock jaw.

          • WIP

            I think WC has a very good point. Most of us are talking as if there aren’t very logical reasons for not wanting to do it. It doesn’t sound like a pleasant act at all. OS is one of those things that’s better in practice than in theory.

        • Justmetheguy

          ” Wait a minute….does somebody have head issues…..?”

          Man some people have head issues in more ways than one…I don’t know if you knew that Corey…lol

          • Wild Cougar

            Why you so obsessed with me, boy, I wanna know….

    • Chad C.

      After reading what you wrote, it make me think about the last book I read:

      Sister Citizen: Shame, stereotypes, and Black Women in America

      I enjoyed reading it. Highly recommend it to any one

  • Cheekie

    “I can personally say that I’ve only known two Black women ever who “claimed” to have never “done that.””

    Three. But, I haven’t done that other thing, either. LOL Oh, and I guess I am exempt because I’ve said that I would. The guy that gets the box shall also receive blessings for his gift… which also happens to be in a box. It’s like Christmas! Somethin’ special…

    But yeah, I have NO idea why that “Becky” thing is so popular because most Black chicks I know definitely do it. Just not for airbody. And yeah, I think that’s where the discrepancy comes in. Those mofos who got turned down by a sista then turned it around to mean, “All ya’ll sistas don’t like giving head!” instead of what it really meant: he probably turned her off by having breath that smelt like the deepest corner of a wild boar’s a-hole. Or something like that…

    • Mo-VSS

      Yeah, some dude you just started dealing with should not get it. I know men like to get all the tricks out the bag in case they don’t get another chance, but from what I see, women aren’t like that. I guess it’s because we know whether or not there will be a next time.

    • Hawaii

      “Just not for airbody.”

      And this is the key point. Where many of the White girls I know/know of have or do give oral appreciation to any guy she wishes to, Black women (in my opinion) are pickier about whom they will please & pleasure and I think along with the Black church women putting the myth out there (as Malik stated), this is also where the myth came from.

  • Mo-VSS

    If I’m not in a relationship I don’t do it. I knew girls in college just giving lip service to any dude they let hit the box. Random hook-ups, one night stands, and all that jazz. Uhm, yeah, not this one.

    But, I don’t know why people think that it doesn’t go down (pun all the way intended) in the black female community. It so does.

    • Justmetheguy

      ” But, I don’t know why people think that it doesn’t go down (pun all the way intended) in the black female community. It so does.”

      It goes down proper too. Which is why I’m not a fan of the more adapted myth that white girls were better and had better technique. I think the widespread of porn changed that. Black women have quite a few oral experts to take notes from. Do I need to start recommending names? lol

      • Justmetheguy

        *widespread of free porn (changed the advantage that white chicks used to have when it was taboo in our community)

        • MissJacksonIfYaNasty

          Names please (takes out notepad and pen)…

          • poeticion

            Vanessa Blue, Obsession, Kitten, Havana Ginger. Jussayin I hope you get off to a great start. No need for thanks, the karma will come back to me.

            • Corey

              Obssesion is easily one of my ALL TIME favorites!!

              • Justmetheguy

                +1 On Obsession. All time classic, back during the desktop age lol. Italia Blue’s technique and passion is also elite. Kelly Starr has the aggressive style, but it’s still appealing. Gianna Michaels even does her thing on the pale side of things. Carmen Hayes has the sloppy nasty kind on lock. Hope that helped…. I could go on for days lol

                • c-real

                  Smh, Italia Blue, oh if they all had the passion of Italia Blue LMAO!!

    • MicTheMessenger

      Ok, so what’s the lesser of two evils? Doming a dude off first, or giving up the panties first?

      • Mo-VSS

        I will not EVER give a dude head before we have even had sex. NOT NEVER! I know that seems a bit strong, but I’m not on random lip service. Plus, the only dude getting anything sexual from me is the dude I’m with in a relationship. Period.