Black Card Denied: Stereotypically “Black” Things You’re Just Not That Into

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“You’ve never rocked a doo-rag before? Ever?”

This question came about yesterday as a friend and I were having a nuanced discussion about the peculiarity surrounding the idea of blackness. Wait, that’s a lie. We were actually talking about something called a “Dr. Laura Schlessinger“, and the conversation somehow segued to an analysis of women with mustaches (and which occupations they’re most likely to have), morphed to a debate about old men with baby hair, and finally landed on Cheese from”The Wire”. (don’t ask)

As any fan of “The Wire” will tell you, Cheese–a mid-level East Baltimore drug dealer played by Method Man–was perpetually doo-ragged up. In fact, I don’t think there was a single moment in five seasons where Cheese appeared without a doo-rag or hoodie on his head.  Anyway, while discussing Cheese’s contribution to the show, my friend made a reference to the acne a loose do0-rag can cause (for the laymen: if you leave the strings hanging down, they can irritate your skin), and that it would be difficult to be taken seriously if you were a drug dealer with adult acne. My reply:

“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never attempted to sell drugs in East Baltimore, and I’ve never rocked a doo-rag”

“What? I don’t believe you”

“You’ve known me for 10 years. When have you ever seen me attempt to sell drugs in East Baltimore?”

“I’m talking about the doo-rag, d*ckhead. You’ve never rocked a doo-rag before? Ever?”

“Nope”

“You sure you’re black, right?”

“No, but my d*ck is definitely black. Ask your wife”

“You might not be black, but you’re definitely gay”

Gayness aside, I was telling the truth. I’ve never rocked a doo-rag or stocking cap before, but for good reason(s)

A) Due to one of my great, great, great Native American second cousins, I was able to get waves without having to wear one.

B) Because of my head size/shape insecurities as a youth, I (rightly) assumed that wearing one would make my head look like a condom.

Anyway, this conversation made me think of a few more stereotypically “black” things I’ve just never really been that into, parts of standard American blackness I’ve never experienced, and other things that might jeopardize my black card membership if word ever got back to the committee.

I’ve never seen Love Jones, Love and Basketball, The Golden Child, The Last Dragon, The Wood, Booty Call, Hav Plenty, and anything Tyler Perry. I finally watched The Color Purple for the first time two years ago, and I’m close to 122% certain I won’t be watching Precious any time in the pre-apocalyptic future.

My reasons for not seeing any of these movies vary from “it just doesn’t look any good” (The Golden Child) to “He’s 5’6 in heels. How the hell am I supposed to believe he’s a great basketball player?” (Love and Basketball)

I’ve never been to Atlanta

Although, thanks to YouTube (NSFW!), I have been to Strokers numerous times.

None of my friends in Pittsburgh have any kids

Wait, let me rephrase that. None of my friends in Pittsburgh have any kids they know of.

Seriously though, I realize some people might find this–there are entire crews of childless, 25 to 35 year old black people floating around–hard to believe, but it’s true. I actually have a theory about how black people with kids and black people without kids usually travel in completely separate social circles, and I’d expound upon it if I actually gave a damn.

I always hated Good Times

The entire premise was depressing, none of the jokes were funny, and I could never make the Bob Beamon-esque leap that John Amos and Esther Rolle would have been able to overlook the 932 year age gap between them to form a loving couple. 900 years? Maybe. But, not 932. That’s just pushing it.

I’ve never purchased an R&B album

Unless, of course, you include Ghostdini the Wizard of Poetry.

I grew up in Southwestern Pennsylvania, went to a predominately white college, played a sport, and only slept with one white woman

And, to be perfectly honest, she was somewhat thick before it was cool for snizzles to be thick–her nickname was “Jabba The Butt“– so she didn’t really count.

I haven’t worn a pair of sunglasses in at least a decade

I’m including this even though I’m not exactly sure how “black” sunglasses really are. Basically, sunglasses are exactly like Rashida Jones in “Parks and Recreation”

I’ve never drank an entire 40

Honestly, I’ve never understood how people can do this. I mean, I can’t even drink 40 ounces of water in one sitting, so how the hell do people drink 40 ounces of beer? Are beer drinkers born with extra stomachs? Is the beer in 40s like cotton candy where it evaporates as soon as it hits your mouth? Is there a prize at the bottom of a 40 bottle? Like, is there a pocket-sized Kenya Moore waiting at the bottom of the bottle for you to rescue her from her foamy hell? Someone (preferably someone from south central Los Angeles) please explain this to me.

I’ve never shot dice

But, unfortunately…

My house has been shot at…

…which basically makes up for everything else on the list.

Okay, that’s enough from me. VSB.com, can you name any stereotypically black things you’ve never experienced, parts of universally accepted black culture you’re really just not that into?

The floor is yours.

—The Champ aka No Alias (because aliases are a bit too black to)

634 thoughts on “Black Card Denied: Stereotypically “Black” Things You’re Just Not That Into”

    • 1)Not fond of fried chicken, watermelon, pig feet, chitling,or fatbacks
      2) I’m not a fat or overweight
      3) not an angry black woman

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      • I hate Kool-aid…yes, even the infamous “red” kind

        I work out…I know that’s not considered “black” but I’m not interested in diabetes (also known as “sugar” in the black community) high blood pressure, and all that other health related jazz that many a black folk seem to be fond of. Don’t want it, any of it.

        Yes, I have a donk…think “Tasha Mack” from The Game. What’s lacking upstairs (sadly) is pretty well made up for with the butt. A slim black woman’s saving grace, lol

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      • What!? Watermelon is the bomb. I never even tried pig feet, chitlin, fatback or kool-aid, but watermelon? I could eat it every day.

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    • *raises hand* I didnt like the show either.

      I dont eat black eyed peas, greens (any kind), watermelon, pig feet, hog maws, chitlins, pig ears, chicken feet, etc.

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        • A hog maw with be the stomach of the pig while the chitlins are the intestines. Best cooked for a long period of time and in lots of vinegar. Wow I am black gladly accepts my card.

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      • My people kill me with that when I’m home. I hate black-eyed peas, pretty much anything with gravy or that’s gray in color or smells like it died 3 years ago.

        Now watermelon, all day, lol.

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  4. I have never seen a 40 in person before, let alone drank one.

    I do not possess The Black Spider Sense, but I make up for this by researching my surroundings before I go to them, and always being aware of them.

    I have never been with a snow bunny.

    I do not treat Income Tax Season like Christmas The Remix.

    I have never used Shea Butter.

    I do not understand the appeal of rims.

    Seeing Black people in a movie or show does not pique my interest.

    I do not pretend to think Lupe Fiasco is deep.

    Reply ↓

    • “I do not pretend to think Lupe Fiasco is deep.”

      He talks about social issues, he’s definitely not on some metaphysical, existential, aesthetic [insert any other word I had to learn for the new 2400 point SAT that I hardly ever use] type ish. Pretty surface level.

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    • “I do not pretend to think Lupe Fiasco is deep.”

      LAWL. But, but, he made a song called Dumb It Down! And put a buncha random $3 words in it! If stupid people can’t understand him, he’s deep! Right, gaiz? >___>

      …*cough* Yeah… But in real life… I’ma need a song mostly meant to insult people’s intelligence/the state of rap to NOT sound like a mushroom-induced freestyle, analysis be damned. =\

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    • When you say you don’t “treat Income Tax Season like Christmas The Remix”, are you saying you don’t buy anything nice when that little extra change comes? I didn’t know that was a Black thing…I surely will use that income tax money. ;)

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  5. 1. I’ve never had sex with my with socks on, but then again I’m a VBC
    (Virg by Choice) so that kinda eliminates that but if I did I probably wouldn’t have socks on.

    2. Went to an all-boys predominantly white high school in East Baltimore, yeah not that many of those out there and there were only 13 of us

    3. Never like chitlins, the scent is just gahhhhhh

    4. Fronts/Grills/Paul Wall mouth-Nah I’m good

    5. Never been attracted to big white woman, really WHO THE PHUCK CAME UP WITH THAT STEREOTYPE?

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    • 2. Went to an all-boys predominantly white high school in East Baltimore, yeah not that many of those out there and there were only 13 of us

      damn…man…i’m sorry……

      *flashbacks to the Sea Hag on rt 40 at 300 am*

      *shudder*

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    • @Rog

      “I’ve never had sex with my with socks on”

      Yes….leaving the socks on takes all of the sexy out of sex. It screams insecurity (IMO) and how is the brotha supposed to perform without slippin and slidin??? #failedsmash

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  7. I hate watermelon. I don’t eat pork. I can’t play spades. I’ve never played dominoes. I’ve never watched The Game. I got bored with Girlfriends after season 3. Hey, where did my Black card go? *rummages through purse*

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    • Watermelon has no taste. I also do not eat pork, and I am constantly asked if I am a Muslim because of it. I also do not pronounce shrimp as skrimp.

      The Spades thing is just…Let me check and see if your shade is the result of a tanning booth.

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      • I get asked the Muslim question all the time because I don’t eat pork too … well I stopped eating it almost 9 years ago … and I sometimes rock an Abraham Lincoln beard too … but then again I’m from Philly

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          • It’s only been about a year since I stopped. Don’t really miss it since I was never a fan of ham, obnoxious pork parts, bacon (I always liked turkey more. I like MEAT (o_O), not fat…turkey is leaner) etc. I will miss Parker House sausages sometimes lol.

            Holidays are annoying for the non-pork eaters. Like this past 4th of July, my neighbor made some BOMB arse spaghetti and then I found out there was Italian sausage in it. Not cut-up, but ground sausage. I was BUMMED that I couldn’t eat it.

            Little things happen like that all the time. I go to a family function and they’re like, “Oh, sh*t, forgot you didn’t eat pawk.” WTF, my mama hasn’t eaten it in 20 years, ya’ll shoulda learnt something by now.

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    • the watermelon thing is pretty interesting to me. i gave my niece watermelon and she vomited. i was like “how can a black (african) child dislike watermelon?” i’m pretty shocked to learn other black people don’t like it.

      but i am glad to learn someone else doesn’t know how to play spades, i guess i can make that up with dominoes, right?

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    • “I can’t play spades”

      The Council of Colored Folks Confirmation would like your Black card FedExed to us first thing in the morning. They said “We don’t know this stranger bish.”

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      • Not knowing how to play spades in inexcusable. I dated a girl once who was educated, cooked, cleaned, and was as sweet as they come.

        But didn’t know how to play spades.

        ……it didn’t work out.

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      • Can’t play spade is different than don’t play spades. I know many-a-black-folk who can play, but don’t. Just straight not knowing though? wheredeydodatat?

        *Motion for black card revocation is seconded!

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        • I spent my teenage years in Portland..no, Tigard, Oregon, home of the “Tigard Tigers” and the only Black female in my class.

          My mother made sure that I knew how to play spades. You teach the babies dominoes so they can learn to do math in their head.

          If you don’t know how to play..you should start using skin-lightening cream so that there’s no confusion..

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  8. I can’t and I won’t even attempt to cook chitlins. I don’t do CP time. *btw your detachable stomach tag reminds me of that old “detachable p*nis” song…lol

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  9. I’ve never been to jail, nor have any of my friends. My favorite new band is called The Whitest Boy Alive (really!). And wait for it….

    I didn’t have a BlackPlanet page in college o_O

    Reply ↓

    • You ain’t have BlackPlanet in h.s. either??? You aint LIVED until you had a glittery fiery background w/ music and cartoon characters w/ baggy pants on. And on dialup, it’d take 10 FULL minutes for ur page to load. YOU. AIN’T. LIVED!

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  10. i’m gonna try and keep my post brief (cuz im sleepy and i broke personal records on vsb yesterday lol).

    demanding/asking/expecting a hookup/link from someone.
    sure it might save me time, money or both – but i dont want to be looking over my shoulder, worried the cops will come knockin (maxwell) and frankly i actually want our community business succeed.

    being late. i am a planner (by trade and by nature). time is literally money when it comes to what i do. i’ve done 5 weddings this summer and everyone (including the filipinos and the trinis) ran AHEAD of schedule (which meant more drinkin time). *takes a bow.

    only listening and knowing ‘black music’ (in this case hiphop/rap/r&b/soul/reggae/soca/calypso).

    ok. that’s all i got..for now. ;)

    Reply ↓

    • these two are me absolutely. I just want to be treated fair, if its fair–meaning I’ve done my research because thats what planners do too ;-) I’ll pay the price, no problem. I hate being late, but I’ve conditioned myself to be late when dealing with certain people because I ESPECIALLY hate being on time when everyone else is late.

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    • Now I have to counter a stereotype….not all Trinis are late. This Trini was always taught to be on time. We are a family of WOMEN who are never late.

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  12. i need to say this:

    NO ONE SHOULD LIKE GOOD TIMES. you could write an entire entry on why Good Times negated the entire civil rights movement. and besides, one should never look forward to a show where the theme song lyrics include the words “temporary layoff! (Good Times!)” WHAT? that’s like saying “can’t provide for my family (Good Times!)”. James was always an angry black man, JJ was an idiot (but he was into art, so a very small +1 for him), Michael could not ever be the product of James and FLORIDA (<–FLORIDA?!), and NONE of them could act. the only good thing was little janet. until she got burned with the iron, and then she was just a precursor to precious.

    I just got really upset. i like this site though. just found out about it. feels like home.

    and i don't like fried chicken on the bone. only tenders. can't stand hot sauce. never been to a revival (that one's for the southerners.)

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    • “NO ONE SHOULD LIKE GOOD TIMES. you could write an entire entry on why Good Times negated the entire civil rights movement. and besides, one should never look forward to a show where the theme song lyrics include the words “temporary layoff! (Good Times!)” WHAT?”

      I agree, but you have to admit the song is quite catchy … especially when the end credits start rolling, thats the best part of the song IMO. “Just lookin out the window ….”

      Is it me or does that theme song sound like 70′s funk version of a negro spiritual?

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      • Remember that Dave Chappelle skit where he set up a mock game show and everyone had to guess that one line from the Good Times theme song. “hanging in a jury!” Gets me every time. lol

        Yes, I agree…that song was catchy as hell. I could sing the whole thing for you right now. A lot of sitcom theme songs had soul back then and I pretty much knew them all. I was a super tv addict in the 80s.

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        • “the Good Times theme song. “hanging in a jury!” Gets me every time. lol”

          I know right? WHY did he have to sing it in that high pitched voice like that? TOO FUNNY!

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      • LOL. in that it’s depressing, yet vaguely uplifting? yes, we could call it a negro spiritual in the times of P-funk.

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    • OK, it was always my assumption (yes I know), that the lyrics of the Good Times theme were supposed to be satire.

      You know like “We’re brothers, we’re happy and we’re singing and we’re colored. Give me a high-five!”

      What I got from it was, yeah we are STRUGG-A-LING, but we are living and we will scratch and survive and have Good TImes anyway.
      Or maybe I was just giving the writers too much credit.
      *Yeshrug*

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  13. Where do I begin?

    - I hate anything Tyler Perry. Especially the plays.
    - I hate potato salad, cole slaw or anything of that nature.
    - I especially hate Kool-Aid and Sweet Tea. I’d prefer Tang.
    - I hate syrup, bbq sauce, and lasagna.
    - I can’t play spades. (Went to a white hs)
    - Just started getting into Martin.
    - I’d prob prefer a bar over a club…

    That’s all I could think of for now…

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    • - I hate grits
      - never ate chitlins, pigs feet, or anything else like that.
      - I have eaten iguana and kind of like it, it reeally taste like chicken if cookes right. My rents are from the Carib.

      Reply ↓

    • -also, never went crazy and spent my refund check or tax return check on miscellaneous stuff. I paid off bills.

      - I also really hate watermelon.

      Wow, I guess I’m really not black.

      Reply ↓

      • Isn’t the notion of “blackness” just the idea of being culturally African American?

        What if you’re family is from the Caribbean, Africa, UK, Canada? ect.

        Why does African American Culture have a monopoly on “Blackness?”

        Reply ↓

    • I went to an all black hs where everyone graduated, went to college, no metal detectors, and I only remembered 2 fights my whole 4 years. Mind you this is a school in NYC. Now beat that non-stereotype ;)

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    • I especially hate Kool-Aid and Sweet Tea. I’d prefer Tang.

      Tang? Really?? How old are you? Do you drink TAB soda too? Just wondering…lol

      Reply ↓

      • *snickers* Tab? Dayum I haven’t seen that isht in years. :-D Tang? Really you drink that on purpose?! Ew. I never understood how folks could drink that when you could have actual orange juice. It’s kinda like drinking powdered milk when you have a whole gallon of the real stuff chillin’ in the fridge.

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        • I don’t drink it…I was responding to @S Emm. I ain’t even know they still made Tang ’til a week or so ago (saw it up in the Bi-Lo….I was like ‘d@mn…they still make this sh#t’?).

          I feel the same way, girl. Tang is basically ‘orange drank’ in powdered form….lol

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          • I used to luv me some Tang. I used it as a mixer. Make it really thick in a 32 oz gatorade bottle (orange, so no one would ask questions) and cut it with vodka. Very potent and very delicious…d@mn good times!

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            • “Make it really thick in a 32 oz gatorade bottle (orange, so no one would ask questions) and cut it with vodka. ”

              I mad at you right now for messing off perfectly good vodka by cutting it with tang. Ha.

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          • I should have put my comment to the OP….DG. Sorry.
            “I feel the same way, girl. Tang is basically ‘orange drank’ in powdered form….lol”

            Agreed. LMAO

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    • – I especially hate Kool-Aid and Sweet Tea. I’d prefer Tang. .

      The fact that you said Tang negates this line item. LOL

      I messed around and drank some Tang about a month and a half ago. Tasted just how I remembered it.

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    • You had me til you said “Tang”…

      You was that token white kid with black skin in the Sunny Delight commercials, huh?

      SMH

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  15. Never smoked pot.

    Hate, hate, HATE clubbing.

    Hate, hate, HATE chitlins (okay, to be honest I never tasted them, but when my folks would cook them when I was growing up, the oder would make be vomit. And that’s before I knew that chitlins were).

    Grew up mostly on white rock music, but discovered hip-hop during my late high schoo/early college years.

    Reply ↓

    • Cosign everything!

      I go clubbing once in a while and it is kind of hilarious/odd to me. There is a reason you have to be drunk to be at a club…so many triflin’ people! I still go to bars though, its a lot more chill imo.

      I sorta grew up on both rock and hip hop, My sister was in HS in the 90s and was into the scene heavy. I think she really wanted to be Aaliyah! My first CD was Crazy Sexy Cool…I really shouldn’t have been listening to that at a young age, but I turned out fine! I was more into rock music though, but transitiioned back to hip hop.

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      • “I sorta grew up on both rock and hip hop”

        I loved hip hop and rock growing up (still do), but got cross eyes anytime I mentioned a Rock group to my friends.

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  16. Ok- I am going to get stoned by the fans but I saw “The Color Purple” at a very young age. I snuck and watched it when it came on television for the first time. I was traumatized. I had no idea black people lived like that because my family didn’t and that older men did bad things to women. I have hated it ever since and have never watched it again. I wish I ;oved it like the rest of my people. Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh……

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    • i dont think anybody really “likes” that movie so much. people just like to talk about it because watching it is it’s part of a shared black experience. its like how two random guys can just strike up a conversation about the nfl.

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  17. *gasp* Never watched Love Jones nor The Last Dragon?!
    Where is your S/O?? I’ma need for her to get on this STAT!!!

    Let’s see…

    I’ve never had a Black best friend (I’m Black)
    Never smoked anything.
    Don’t attend a “Black Church”
    I’ve never seen The Color Purple
    I don’t have much Rap/R&B on my iPod
    I don’t have a big booty….

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  18. You know something, this is a bourgie bunch. Lol. And I’m including myself, so I’m not trying to be derisive. But would this doo-rag wearing, shade wearing, dice-throwing, Good Times loving, 40 drinking black person be posting on VSB? doubtful. there should obviously just be a Bourgie Black card, yes?

    Reply ↓

    • LMBO this is the most logical comment of the day. *ding*

      this is the site where people come to get away from the doo-rag wearing, shades at nighttime wearing, dice-throwing, 40 dranking ratchet black person. lol.

      i wouldn’t say bourgie though… but there should definitely be a VerySmartBlackCard somewhere. lol

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    • But would this doo-rag wearing, shade wearing, dice-throwing, Good Times loving, 40 drinking black person be posting on VSB? doubtful. there should obviously just be a Bourgie Black card, yes?

      um, im panama jackson and have done all of these things EXCEPT the 40 oz thing. and that’s only cuz i respect the West enough to leave that sh*t there.

      Reply ↓

      • but have you done all of these things SIMULTANEOUSLY? if not, then there are some ninjas in Baltimore who would like you to go ahead and send in your black card. lol.

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  19. I knew this was coming. This post encompasses every single reason we disagree so much

    The last dragon and the golden child are two of my favorite movies
    I love goodtimes. I still get teary when we find out j.j’s fiancee was on heroin and when cleon edwards
    Aka mad dawgs momma told him she hated him..
    Good times addressed a lot of real life issues. Remember when james had his first experience with instant credit?

    Sigh
    Anyway stereotypically black things I’m not into
    Corn on the cob
    Pork
    weaves or fake nails
    And recently being the “strong” black woman
    I really want to be able to put the burden of “being strong” on someone else right now…

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  20. Embarassing confession: I had NO IDEA what a doorag was growing up. I had seen them. I saw people wearing them, but had no idea what the purpose was. i was confused! I thought it was a fashion statement. Until one day my ex told me he use to wear one. o_O i was like FOR REAL? Why? And he explains to be the purpose of said doorag. Lets just say, MIND = BLOWN. How did I go so long without knowing what that was?

    Anyway, I love R&B and Black rom-coms and dramas. I guess I get a pass for that right. I’m African and so I get a pass because I don’t think the gangsters come up to you and threaten to throw you in jail for not wearing a seatbelt while pointing a semi-automatic weapon at your car in broad daylight. Yo! Corruption is awesome.

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    • Embarassing confession: I had NO IDEA what a doorag was growing up. I had seen them. I saw people wearing them, but had no idea what the purpose was.

      honestly, i didn’t either until i was like 12. i thought those people were just anemic and needed to keep their heads warm

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  21. Out of the list, let’s see…

    Wore a doo-rag once.
    Never seen Hav Plenty.
    Never seen The Family That Preys.
    Won’t be watching Precious.
    I hate Good Times too (even though Esther Rolle was born in the 954).
    Never drank a 40…or a 30…or a 20…or – y’all get the point.
    Never shot dice (unless you count computer games).
    Never had the casa shot at (almost happened once, though).

    Additions…

    Never referred to Kool-Aid – or a woman – by color or shade thereof.
    Never smoked weed (which actually led one kid from the hood to refer to me as “white boy”).
    By and large, don’t like soul food.
    Made it through my freshman year at an HBCU – as well as all life before that – before the non-Surface “first time”.
    Never liked 2Pac (he never got above “alright” to me).
    Never had an earring, piercing, or tattoo.
    Never had a jheri-curl or a haircut with a part.
    Never had to dance for my parents and/or their friends.
    Never seen the original Shaft…actually, if I go back to movies this could get real long real fast.
    Never been beaten with anything other than hand or belt (no switches, extension cords, etc.).
    Never been in a fight.
    Don’t do “let-outs” after the club: when the music stops, I’m going home (to those uninitiated, club let-outs are when people – most of whom never went in the club in the first place – hang out in the parking lot after the club closes for up to an hour or until the cops tell them to go home).

    Can’t think of anything else right now.

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    • “Never had to dance for my parents and/or their friends.”

      LMMFAO @ this!!!! Gawd, the times I had to do this as a youngin’, lolol

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    • (to those uninitiated, club let-outs are when people – most of whom never went in the club in the first place – hang out in the parking lot after the club closes for up to an hour or until the cops tell them to go home).

      Or until somebody gets shot

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    • “Never been beaten with anything other than hand or belt (no switches, extension cords, etc.)”

      Yeah, this is me too. When I committed “misdemeanors” my dad would sometimes just flick me on my hand. But he had huge hands compared to mine so it hurt like hell. He knew how to get the most force out of the flick and impact the most sensitive part of my hand. He was surgical with it.

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    • Never had to dance for my parents and/or their friends. .

      I’ll have you know I laughed/snorted at this. I’m still chuckling as I type this.

      I can still clearly remember the time when my cousin tricked me into dancing to “Doing the butt” for her friends when I was a youngster. I kept refusing to do it and finally she claimed that her friends were gone. So I broke down and danced. Do you know these heffas popped up from hiding behind cars laughing hysterically?! I could have smacked a b*tch.

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      • If you have never be requested to dance before your family or friends, you have missed out on a valuable life lesson. LOL! My and my sister and any other girls from the neighborhood we could round up STAYED performing something. My parents actually started requesting for us to stop dancing/singing for them.

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    • @B. Brown

      “Never had to dance for my parents and/or their friends.”

      I use to LOVE when my mom asked me to perform. I always had the lead while my brothers sang backup. We would choreograph a whole routine (including dance steps and harmonizing) and mama would grin ear-to-ear sayin, “my babies got talent”!!! *Sigh*…those were the days!

      Reply ↓

  22. I have never tried Grits. Not good at spades. Not good at basketball. Don’t like wearing fitted caps. Don’t gamble (no sure if that counts). I was a fencer for four years, Épée blade. I watch anime and read manga. I don’t own any jewelry. I haven’t watch a black sitcom since Girlfriends.

    Reply ↓

      • Word!!!! What you read?? My favorite is BLAME by Tsutomu Nihei.

        That, reminds me I own/love koeran and japanese pop/rock/rap(Gigabytes of music)
        One of my favorite band is Asian Kung-Fu Generation, own every CD.

        Reply ↓

  23. I hate Watermelon!!! Speaking of my company had there annual Watermelon seed spitting contest yesterday!! We know who didn’t participate.
    I can’t play Spades
    I have not seen half of the “good black movies”

    Reply ↓

  24. Just the other day my friend said I got my black card taken away because I don’t like Tyler Perry.
    Haven’t seen the Color Purple [I don't think I will...]
    I’ve smoked pot, but I go to a white school and everyone does it so I’m not gunna count that.
    Don’t like grits
    dont like Good Times
    Dont like Martin. I really. really. really. do not like him.

    I love rap though. And I love watermelon…but I’m allergic to it.
    There are just a lot of things I haven’t done that are stereotypic black.

    Reply ↓

    • but I think you can get your Black Card revoked for referring to weed as ‘pot’. IDK will have to check with the committee.

      My mom calls it ‘reefer.’ That makes me giggle.

      Reply ↓

  25. Never owned/bought anything from Baby Phat, Phat Farm, Apple Bottom, Dereon, Sean John, or any other popular black celebrities clothing that is thought to be worn by only black people.

    Reply ↓

  26. Yeah, yeah I’m late. Guess I’m Black. But here are the things that don’t make me Black…..

    - Never seen “Friday”
    - Don’t eat pork
    - I’m missing the chip that allows me to laugh at/cry at/relate to/generally enjoy Tyler Perry movies and especially the plays
    - In fact, urban theater/gospel plays in general make me break out into vicious hives and swell up like a balloon
    - BET (and now Vh1!?!) makes me want to pull my eye lashes out one by one
    - I don’t do Kool Aid
    - My Mommy and Daddy raised me. Been married almost 30 yrs.

    And Champ, I am so sorry you’ve never been to Atlanta. That’s the saddest thing I’ve heard today :(

    Reply ↓

    • Cosignimg the sadness over Atlanta. I visited my cousin there, who attends Emory, and she had me scheming trying to think of ways to stay there fo eva!

      Reply ↓

    • “- BET (and now Vh1!?!) makes me want to pull my eye lashes out one by one”

      Actually, hating BET might be the blackest thing to do since eating chicken wangs with hot sauce at corporate functions.

      Reply ↓

  27. 1. I don’t like hot sauce or potato salad.

    2. I drink juice, not drink.

    3. I don’t find white women attractive.

    4. I’m currently 22 years old. I learned how to play Spades sometime within the last year.

    5. Watching basketball bores me; I don’t like the NBA, and college basketball is starting to wear a little thin.

    6. I don’t watch music videos or listen to the radio. At all. And I don’t really like playing my music loud.

    7. This isn’t necessarily specific to Black people, but I have never wanted to modify my body in any way (ear piercings, grills, etc.)

    8. There’s a ton of Black literature and cinema/TV that I have not read/seen, and I have no intention of doing so.

    9. I hate going to the club.

    10. I don’t like urban fashion trends. When I decided to grow up sometime within the past three years, that included not wanting to actually look like I’m from Baltimore.

    11. I had absolutely no desire to attend an HBCU.

    Reply ↓

    • “I had absolutely no desire to attend an HBCU.”
      -Thats very sad… I understand its your choice on deciding which college you would want to attend, but “no desire” sounds a lil’ bit harsh.

      Reply ↓

      • @lola289: agreed. I understand personal choice, maybe it’s just my opinion of how you typed it and the fact that I attend an hbcu and “we” tend to get bashed on a lot..but my interpretation of what you said ” I had absoulutley no desire to atten an HBCU” like there’s a backstory behind that statement, or maybe I”m looking too much into it..#I’m just sayin

        Reply ↓

      • They didn’t have anything I was looking for in a college. I certainly don’t look down on HBCUs or the people that attend them (damn near my entire family, several friends, my girlfriend, etc.); it just wouldn’t have been a good fit for anything I wanted except a visible amount of Black people and active Black programs.

        Reply ↓

        • “I wanted except a visible amount of Black people and active Black programs.”
          -lmao…Thats all you see, huh? Wow…look I just want to say that there are various shades of being Black. Not just Americans, but people of color from around the world! At Howard, I was surprised to discover this and thrilled to be renewed in my culture and people. I don’t know what was different at the school you attended but to belittle HBCUs with your statement is not justified.

          HBCUs are not limited to “Black people and Black Programs” look a lil deeper next time!

          Peace!

          Reply ↓

          • I don’t think P was belittling HBCUs, I think he was just saying that none of them had what he wanted in a college experience (probably a particular major he wanted, something like that).

            (Ed. note: the preceding statement was 50% possible clarification, 50% attempted avoidance of the inevitable subject barely underneath the surface)

            Reply ↓

          • If this were a courtroom, I’d object on the basis of relevance.

            I have no idea what you think I’m implying, but I wanted four major things out of my college: MY major, a major athletic program (D-1A at the very least), other Black people and an active Black community, and somewhere that wasn’t close to home.

            My “belittling” statement was that pretty much every HBCU failed to meet all but one of my criteria, which is a fact and has nothing to do with my opinion of HBCUs (which, as I just said above, is positive).

            Reply ↓

    • “11. I had absolutely no desire to attend an HBCU”

      Ditto………No that I think about it none of my friends went to HBCU either. But have of them are in D9 0_o

      Reply ↓

      • @cheekie
        actually i dont care if a black dude is attracted to white women. its when his reasons for not considering a black women are based on stereotypes (word of the day!!) and his reasons for pursuing white women are based on myths.

        plus i dont propose..im still waiting for my very own e-boo! lol…

        Reply ↓

  28. I was often accused of not being “black enough” and I assume that my list solidifies that point.

    1. I only rock a weave in my natural hair color. No silver, purple, blue/black for me. (1B stand up!)

    2. I have never been in a real physical altercation. (I know fighting is no indicator of blackness, but the mean kids on my bus hinted that not fighting was a sign of weakness and therefore a negation of blackness)

    3. I have never shot or seen a real life gun.

    4. Although I am Nigerian and we can’t be on time anywhere, for anything, I hate being late. And seriously they could be giving out limited edition vaccines for AIDS or something and Nigerians would still be late and thus miss out.

    A side note, I do love watermelon, but only with salt and chili powder. Does that make me a little Mexican?

    Reply ↓

    • “I am Nigerian and we can’t be on time anywhere, for anything, I hate being late”

      I hate being late too! The only exception is a party, but I’m on time for everything else and get irked by people who always run late for everything.

      Reply ↓

  30. Wow…I luv “The Golden Child”! At least I did at 12 y.o.
    If you see it now w/ all the CGI and ish that movies have today then you will be disappointed! :-(

    Reply ↓

  31. Well, I’m inter racial half black/white and grew up with 2 white parents in a mostly black neighborhood, its interesting to see how your upbringing impacts preference. I know many white people in my neighborhood that are more stereotypically ‘black’ than many friends I met later in life.

    Truth be told I love watermelon, just won’t eat it in public. And find fried chicken amazing and yummy though I try to stay away.

    -I dislike Tyler Perry, movies, tv shows, play, closeted sexuality.
    -I rephase any sentence or song I’m singing with the word n*gga in it to say ‘dude’, because quite honestly the word, no matter the suffix makes me cringe.
    -I can’t do the electric slide, not sure why, maybe it should come with instructions. (ie cha cha or casper slide)
    -Im perpetually on time and/or early. I believe time is a valuable commodity that is not to be wasted by others.

    Rashida Jones is cute but she’s definitely plays non racial characters, I wonder if sje deliberately steers clear of black roles. Like a white porn star that hasn’t done ‘black’ yet, so she won’t bring her stock down O_o

    Reply ↓

    • Rashida Jones is cute but she’s definitely plays non racial characters, I wonder if sje deliberately steers clear of black roles. Like a white porn star that hasn’t done ‘black’ yet, so she won’t bring her stock down O_o

      good analogy. i’m the same with the electric slide, btw. I never learned how to do it as a youngster, and now i enjoy the attention i get when people keeping asking me to dance

      Reply ↓

  32. I always knew my black card would be denied.
    Never had grits, chitlins, collard greens and don’t plan too.
    Not the biggest fan of rap or hip hop (which is it? I don’t even know what to call it or the difference between the two!)
    I despise House of Payne.
    I’ve never seen any play on the chitlin circuit.
    I’ve never read Jet magazine.
    I love Christian Rock and Yanni (don’t judge).
    The biggest offense though seems to be that … >whispers< I don't know how to play spades! smh

    Reply ↓

    • i love grits, but why ( I don’t plan to)..at leat try a food you’ve never had before..I understand somethings are regional foods and you’re entitled not to like it, but just try it

      Reply ↓

  33. -Never had a 40
    -Never shot dice
    -Never smoked weed
    -Haven’t seen all of Good Times, The Color Purple, Roots, Martin, or A Different World (making my through it on Netflix though).
    -I’m a novice when it comes to 90′s rap.
    -I don’t own a pair of sunglasses nor a fitted.
    -Haven’t owned a pair of Jordans since I was 11.
    -Never been to Atlanta or Miami (Vegas this weekend for the first time).
    -Didn’t play basketball or football growing up (soccer all day ‘ery day).
    -I wear flip-flops sometimes.

    Reply ↓

    • And a couple other things I forgot…

      I used to be a huge NSync fan and knew the choreography to It’s Gonna Be Me (this is probably a two-for-one, questioning my blackness and my straightness) #shrug

      I mess with music from John Mayer, Maroon 5, Coldplay, The Fray, Rage Against The Machine, System of a Down, Linkin Park, and Queen.

      I love to listen to movie scores. My favorite composers are John Williams and Hans Zimmer.

      Reply ↓

      • “I mess with music from John Mayer, Maroon 5, Coldplay, The Fray, Rage Against The Machine, System of a Down, Linkin Park, and Queen.”

        Minus Maroon 5 and you have a great selection there.

        Reply ↓

        • Minus Maroon 5? Maroon 5 is the best musical group of any genre to sing a song since Jodeci broke up.

          Reply ↓

      • “I used to be a huge NSync fan and knew the choreography to It’s Gonna Be Me (this is probably a two-for-one, questioning my blackness and my straightness) #shrug”

        Whenever I meet you in person, homie, you will perform this for me. No excuses, no compromises. You will. And you shall.

        Reply ↓

      • I mess with music from John Mayer, Maroon 5, Coldplay, The Fray, Rage Against The Machine, System of a Down, Linkin Park, and Queen.

        I affectionately refer to this as “Douchebag Music”. It represents at least 40% of the music I enjoy. (The other categories are New Jack (BBD!), Ignant (Dorrough!), Angsty Crooners (Joe!), and Why You Mad (WuTang!), in case you were wondering).

        Reply ↓

    • I wear flip-flops sometimes.

      I think this is probably more of a cultural/regional thing than a ‘black’ thing. In the south, there was never any stigma associated w/ wearing sandals/flip-flops…you try wearing Timbs down here in the summer, when it’s 100 degrees in the shade…or try going to a beach wearing some heavy shoes….you’d look crazy.

      Reply ↓

  34. I never been to black baptist church until recently, and the way they’re portrayed on TV /movies is dead on …. funny sh*t

    I’ve never been good at basketball, but I do enjoy watching it. I’m a season ticket holder for the wack @ss Sixers, lol

    I don’t hop of the bandwagon on a new liquor brand that rapper XYZ talks about all the time. I’m good with a bottle of Jose Cuervo and a lemon.

    I don’t think Mike Epps, Steve Harvey, or most of the popular black comedians are that funny. Stand up comedy is not that funny.

    I never played dice either … I think I’m the only male from my hood that doesn’t know how to play.

    I hate …
    sweet potatoes
    sweet potato pies
    n*gga apples aka watermelons
    Any movie associated by Tyler Perry & ice Cube

    Reply ↓

  35. -I’m a sista without a DoNK/bubblebutt
    - I wear what compliments my features/body type, I’ve never been into names brands ie: fubu, phat farm, babyfat, applebottom, dereon, I wear what looks good on me and is affordable
    - I hate GOOD TiMES & SANFORD & SON.. My mom hates those shows too, because there weren’t ANY GOOD TIMES on Good Times or Livin’ in A freakin’ junk yard
    -I hate pigfeet, chitlens etc, and yes I’m from the South and speak proper English and blast Outkast and eat grits & all that pimp ish
    -I don’t have an attitude and am not on a vh1 reality show
    -I don’t have a baby daddy
    - My iPod has everything from Alanis Morisette Erykah Badu to Nicki Minaj & A Tribe called Quest
    I attend an HBCU, and I went to predominately white high school, middle, and elementary school, so I feel as if I have balance
    - I eat fruit yogurt salad etc on the regular and not on a diet, I eat it because I like it, and was exposed to healthy foods (non canned/processed) food as a young child
    - I don’t drink koolaid, I’ve drank it before, in my younger days, but I haven’t had any in years
    - I watch TRUE BLOOD & BiG LOVE,, and I miss SOUL FOOD, but have never really gotten into THE WiRE my bad..that’s my dad’s ish maybe one day I will

    Reply ↓

  36. Well..I’m frm Iowa. Beat that. Word.

    -I was THE ONLY black kid in my H.S. graduating class of 50 (yes 50) and 1 of 5 in college
    -My town has 367 people
    -I’ve only ever dated white guys
    ..and no..I wasn’t adopted. I’m just a product of my environment lol.
    -I’m really good at beer pong
    -I hunt…deer and ride horses…again, product of my enviroment

    Oh, and lastly..because I USED to live on a farm, we raised our own chicken, killed and ate it. True Story. Real Talk.

    Reply ↓

    • Wow- I lived in Iowa for a stint in HS and for college. I also hate watermelon- glad to find so many people who also hate it cause my black card has been threatened for many years for this offense.
      I am not fond of chicken wings- too much work for too little payoff- plus I hate getting my fingers dirty
      I too prefer to wear clothes that fit my body
      I also prefer to wear heels that I can walk in
      This is my short list lol
      I have never rocked cornrows
      I’ve never worn weave of any sort or a wig (I DETEST wigs- you’re not fooling anyone!)
      I have never had those nasty long acrylic nails- I have had normal length ones

      Reply ↓

  37. Like many on here, I’m pretty mehh about watermelon, which may possibly be the blandest fruit on the planet. In addition, I pretty much hate most vegetables, including collards and most things of the green variety.

    I’m d@mn good at Spades, but I don’t particularly *enjoy* the game itself. I’d be just as content sitting back and watching all the ish-talking across the table than winning (which I most certainly would). Also, I don’t know how to tally the points…I’ve never been put upon to do it.

    I’m 30, childless, with nary the possibility of matrimony in sight, and I’m pretty much OK with that, indefinitely if need be.

    I am gay/bi-friendly, and would have no qualms dating an openly bisexual man (if I was attracted to him).

    Intellectually and academically, I’ve never felt hindered by American society in any tangible way. I’ve always felt that I was just as good, as smart, as blessed as any of my White counterparts. I knew that even if they appeared to have more than me (and oh, did they), none of these things made them better.

    I going skydiving in 2 months for my 31st bday.

    Reply ↓

    • “I am gay/bi-friendly, and would have no qualms dating an openly bisexual man (if I was attracted to him).”

      You buggin

      Reply ↓

    • @brownivyx
      you had me riiiiight up until you wrote this..
      “no qualms dating an openly bisexual man (if I was attracted to him).”

      im not here to judge.. (ha!), but wouldn’t this cause more confusion than already necessary in the dating world? would you be extra worried about your health? (note the extra, we should ALL be worried). about never knowing who the competition is? is that something you’d really want to settle for?
      just some thoughts and questions…

      Reply ↓

      • I liked everything question you brought up except the health one. Plus the fact that there’s countless studies suggest that men who identify as bi-sexual are usually just gay. Not to be sexist(ha funny) but women are usually more fluid with there sexuality not men. And please don’t say it’s because our society is pro bi-sexuality when it comes to women.

        My comment had nothing to do with issue that “bi-sexual” can’t be in a monogamous relationship.

        Reply ↓

        • @hehe
          well thats kinda where i was going with the health question.
          if a bisexual dude tends to be gay (as per your statement, and my general assumption), and booty chex is riskier than kitty chex (increases 100000% if unprotected of course) – dating a bi-sexual dude would increase potential health risks one would think?

          im making an assumption here (so feel free to call me what we know we should ;) ), but it IS because our society is more forgiving/encouraging of bi-sexuality in women than in men. many people are digusted at the thought of 2 dudes, but aren’t so indignant at the thought of 2 ladies.

          Reply ↓

          • I think we’ve all seen enough statistics to know that, in the year 2010, whatever STD’s and STI’s are floating around are prominent within all realms of sexuality.

            And I’m not *even* going to delve into the idea that this monolith of bisexual and homosexual men are overly promiscuous, cuz I’ve known enough heteros who could give any of them a run for their money.

            I’ve thought about it long and hard. And of all of the things I love about men and want in a life partner (kindness, intellect, attractiveness, ability to kill bugs and put together furniture, love of the arts, great listening skills, potential to be a good father, etc…), NONE of them include any particular relevance to the people they’ve been with before me or an overabundance of stereotypical machismo, for that matter. *Anyone* I choose to be with in this day and age has a sexual question mark (in regards to STD’s) hanging over their head until proven otherwise. Real talk. And anyone I choose to engage with on a serious level (which, frankly for me, takes some time) will be expected to be monogamous, either way. To me, nothing counts or matters before “the talk”. As far as “competition”, *shrugs*. As far as I’m concerned, it’s not a numbers game. It’s one person with another, choosing to be with each other until one or both of these people decide otherwise.

            Reply ↓

  39. I think Tina Marie, Chris Brown, Beyonce, Keith Sweat, Rihanna, Ray J, and a few of other people that I can’t think of are terrible singers

    Fantasia is ok, but her regular speaking voice makes me nervous

    Reply ↓

  40. Fried Chicken and Watermelon are not the only things in my diet.

    I don’t brush my teeth with baking soda.

    I’ve never eaten hog-head cheese, hog maws, pigs feet or pig tails.

    Ive never had babies for the welfare (afdc), nor to I have 8 babies with 9 nine baby-daddies.

    I don’t weave red, blue, yellow, green or any other bright Crayola colors into my hair.

    All stereotypical, and I don’t understand any of them.

    Reply ↓

    • OOOH, and I don’t think Al Sharpton is the “leader” of African Americans – I think he’s full of sh*t, and I wish he’d get rid of that ridiculous “press n curl” – ole sorry buster.

      Reply ↓

  41. - I live in Seattle and moved here by choice. Everytime I go back home to NY or meet up with the fam in DC, they still don’t understand why I moved here.
    - I grew up playing soccer, lacrosse, and was a gymnast
    - I love nature and doing outdoorsy things – hiking up mountains, white water rafting, elephant trekking, etc….
    - I hate shopping unless it’s for shoes and have a very laid-back style and rarely rock name brands.
    - I’m usually on time

    Reply ↓

    • There are other black folks out here, I swear. Living in Seattle is not a threat to the black card.

      Although, most of us didn’t get here by choice.

      Reply ↓

  42. - no watermelon (but I hate all melon, just tastes foul)
    - no greens, they’re bitter
    - no chitlins ever ever EVER – tasted them as a kid & nearly hurled, so damn GROSS!!
    - never made fried chicken in my life, probably never will
    - just started liking grits within the last 10 years, I just didn’t understand them before
    - don’t have to have meat in every meal, yet I’m not a vegetarian
    - no Tyler Perry, his work is so weak
    - my ass lacks HUGEness, lol
    - I don’t smoke weed, yet friends STILL try to get me to after all these years… wtf??
    - I hate overly trendy, big a** labels/names on any of my belongings… & I’ve only seen ONE Coach purse worth having, most of them are either tacky or boring
    - never been weavy
    - I’m over 30 & don’t have a kid

    Reply ↓

  43. Great post, but I feel like everyone has been goin hard on Love Jones recently. Yes, it’s totally sappy and unrealistic but Larenz Tate warms my heart and it takes place in one of my favorite places in the world.

    Alright so my contribution to the black ppl aint a monolith convo…

    I loooove Radiohead and believe that their music pays better homage to black music (jazz, blues, and underground hip-hop/trip-hop) than most black artists debuting in the last 20 years.

    I have never had a perm or added color to my hair, but I’m not so natural that I judge/dismiss women who get their ‘fried, died, and laid to the side’ on (I do give the o_0 to people with damaged hair, tho)

    I believe in regular hair cuts/trims and refuse to be that black girl hanging on to those two tired strands of long hair (final hair comment, promise)

    I live in Atlanta (begrudgingly) and don’t drive a BMW, dangle a fancy purse on my forearm, or where stilletos to get groceries.

    I’m not the biggest watermelon fan, but do enjoy watermelon flavored jolly ranchers.

    Reply ↓

    • Co-sign! You are so smart. You are really smart. For real.

      Seriously tho, I think more 2520s eat watermelon than Black folk. And I thought I was the only anti-fancy one in ATL.

      But, I get my Black card back because I have seen Color Purple and have plenty folks locked up for stupid ish.

      Reply ↓

      • @cali
        yay! thank you for your honesty and bravery amid all the LJ hatin’

        @BG4rmMiami

        “on you side” (aka co-sign)…on the “anti-fancy” and “too many of my peers from home are locked up”-tip.

        since you are in atl too, am i the only one who does not believe in the “ATL is the black mecca” fairytale? Maybe i missed it or don’t frequent the right spots, but there are like -2.5 black people in the actual city of ATL.

        Reply ↓

      • i always thought the “food” arguments were interesting in the Black debates since down South, white and Black people all eat the same shit. i mean, we were cooking for them. lol

        shoot, my sister’s baby daddy (he’s white…go figure) his whole family loves chitlins.

        some might call us country, but we’s only southern…

        Reply ↓

        • You are right about that, Panama. White and black folks in the South pretty much eat the same food, especially in the small towns. My mom was one of those people that make us eat what she didn’t like to eat as a kid. My ex was surprised that I eat seafood other than catfish now because when we dated, she really exposed me eating crawfish with her family. I told her I didn’t eat shellfish a lot as a kid because my mom didn’t cook it because she is allergic to shellfish. I would get shrimp and crab when we would go out to eat but that was it. Now, I eat that sh!t like it is going out of style. I might have a crab boil for Labor Day just for kicks.

          Reply ↓

    • I loooove Radiohead and believe that their music pays better homage to black music (jazz, blues, and underground hip-hop/trip-hop) than most black artists debuting in the last 20 years.

      i’ve probably listened to more radiohead this summer than any other group/artist (outside of wu)

      Reply ↓

  44. I have a phenomenal relationship with my father, even after a brief estrangement.

    Apparently, ninjas don’t do that O_o

    I also have a slight problem with the “black church.” I don’t really get down with all the ‘shouting’ and jumping up and down. I’m feeling like a lot of it has become show…. And I am very much into my walk with Christ.

    Anyone who hasn’t seen FRIDAY or COLOR PURPLE????

    How do you exist in life???! :-)

    Reply ↓

  45. Well…I got a late start on my blackness. I attended a private Lutheran (no, that’s not Catholic, it’s Lutheran) school from K-12 and didn’t really come into my blackness until I started kicking it at my cousins house on the weekends..somewhere around 6th grade. My cousins…there were 11 of them, 3 different dads, and they lived in the most dangerous part of my city. I’d leave my house in some preppy ironed creased up jeans and a polo, and come back in some dirty sweatpants and t-shirt riddled with melted gubment cheese and old hot dog water…and I loved every second of it.

    Wait, what was the topic again? (pours some kool-aid…red of course)

    Reply ↓

  46. *coming outta lurker-dom*

    Loved this post, love your blog generally.

    I CANNOT STAND WATERMELON!!!!!!! And I’m African
    Boarding school pretty much ruined it for me.

    I can’t keep up with dance trends, gave it up back in H.S.
    By the time I learned one dance move, another one was introduced right after (e.g “teach me how to dougie” and “teach me how to jerk”). SMH
    i just keep it simple :-)

    Clubbing is another thing I cannot do, but in Joburg a lot more white people go out clubbing than black people.
    we enjoy hanging out in bars or someone’s house (*what, it’s a recession :-) -don’tjudge).

    In this country, black people like House\Dance music (think David
    Guetta). Personally, not my cup of tea.

    Believe it or not some of the shows mentioned played out here as well.
    I know I liked them, coz I watched them. (i.e Cosby Show, Good Times,Martin, Girlfriends,Sanford and Son,227 etc)
    At the moment I don’t watch as much T.V.
    So a lot of your pop culture references go over my head (I google, a lot)

    As for Tyler Perry, I’ve only watched “Why did I get married”
    Kinda liked it, but I thought it was too long.

    *back into lurker-dom

    Reply ↓

  47. Because of my schools and my neighborhoods, I didn’t fully realize I was Black until the 9th grade. Since then though, I’ve been blackity-black, y’all! But here’s where I draw the line:

    * I get furious at the thought of eating slave food. We ate pigs tail, pigs feet, cows tongue, and chicken gizards because that’s all massa and them would give us, NOT because its good! Black people seasoned the hell out of that stuff just so that their family could stand to eat it, but that doesn’t make it a meal of choice in 2010. I cringe anytime I hear Black people talking about how good that nasty, second rate ish is to eat. No thanks, I’ll take the biggest chicken breast you have. Enjoy your hog maws.

    * I have never smoked anything, ever.

    * I have never had hair that didn’t grow from my scalp.

    * I get annoyed when people call Barack the first Black president…considering he’s biracial.

    * I never liked Goodtimes, Sanford & Son, What’s Happening (And the ever so cleverly titled spin-off, What’s Happening Now?), or Fat Albert.

    * Up until last year, I had seen pieces of The Color Purple, but not the entire movie. I also hadn’t fully watched Poetic Justice until then. This year I’d like to tackle Boyz In The Hood, Juice, and Jason’s Lyric.

    * I don’t eat greens. Don’t ask me to.

    * I’m also not a huge Tupac fan. And I never believed that if Biggie had lived, he’d still be seen as the best rapper in existence. I think Puff would’ve used him, then dropped him from Bad Boy when he was finished, leaving him a washed up has been on jive records, where he’d spend his career making hooks for r&b chicks.

    I’m gonna stop now. Because I know I just blew some people’s minds here.

    Reply ↓

    • * I get annoyed when people call Barack the first Black president…considering he’s biracial.

      I’m completely blown away by this. We all know he’s bi-racial, but the world sees him and treats him like a Black man. Obama himself identifies as a Black man (check the census). I understand why white people are confused by this (this being post-racial America and all), but your admission just blows me away.

      Reply ↓

      • I, too, get annoyed when multi-racial people choose one race to “identify” with. My daughter is black AND Vietnamese AND white. What’s funny is the “white” things like speak proper English and go to college are things she’s gonna get from her BLACK mama. My race is black, but my identity is much more than just where my ancestors are from. (I checked THREE boxes for my kid).

        Reply ↓

        • guess you’d hate me, cuz my momma is european as they come of the slave holding variety and i refer to myself as a black dude. now if you ask, i’ll gladly tell you my background…but i’m from a place where you dont get that choice. white people don’t give a sh*t that my mom’s white.

          Reply ↓

          • @PJ

            I feel you on this. Being born and raised in the south, I’ve never heard anyone list all of their ethnicities. When I moved to the northeast is when I experienced people going out of their way to list their entire makeup.

            CNotes: Hi Tracey! Where are you from?

            Tracey: I’m from Brooklyn…but my family is black, native american, swedish, polish, german and scottish!

            CNotes: *blank stare* (wondering why she thinks I care)

            Reply ↓

            • CNotes: Hi Tracey! Where are you from?

              Tracey: I’m from Brooklyn…but my family is black, native american, swedish, polish, german and scottish!

              CNotes: *blank stare* (wondering why she thinks I care)

              *DEAD!!!!!!!

              Reply ↓

      • I’ll never understand why admiring and respecting a man for the whole of his being and not just the half that I most identify with throws people (specifically Black people) into a tizzy. For me to deny his mother because of what “the world” thinks is totally disrespectful in my opinion.

        You are correct in that white people see him as Black regardless, but that ignorance doesn’t have to dictate my thoughts.

        Reply ↓

        • It may not dictate YOUR thoughts…

          However, when you go to the bank: you Black.

          Tryin to buy a house? Black

          Getting a job: Black

          Doctor’s office: Black

          Census: black/asian/white…. ugh BLACK

          To Barack Obama (who loves his mama like no other)..he’s Black. He’s proud of it, so your annoyance isn’t necessary.

          Reply ↓

    • so am i doing a disservice by not referring to msyelf as “mixed” more often? then again it never comes up b/c nobody can tell since i rock a baldy. i could write about this for eons. b/c i think it does somewhat of a disservice to NOT refer to him as a Black man.

      Reply ↓

    • I feel you on the slave food. We really shouldn’t embrace that heart attack on a plate. But since when is Obama not black? I’m biracial and I consider myself Black. Like Panama said, if someone asks me I’ll gladly tell you because I get asked alot. I don’t identify with my Indian side. It’s not denying my other half but I refuse to call myself an other or mixed. Why do black people want to denounce light skin, biracial, mulattos, etc as black? Black genes are very dominant.

      Reply ↓

    • “* I get annoyed when people call Barack the first Black president…considering he’s biracial.”

      I’ve seen this viewpoint a lot of times actually so while not really surprising, I don’t necessarily agree. I call folks what they want to be identified as. And according to the census, while he DOES obviously acknowledge his mother, he identifies as Black. Racial/ethnic identity is such a slippery slope (especially with African-American versus Black, versus Negro, versus whatever folks wanna call themselves) and I feel it’s just safer to call them what they wish to be called.

      Reply ↓

    • And I never believed that if Biggie had lived, he’d still be seen as the best rapper in existence. I think Puff would’ve used him, then dropped him from Bad Boy when he was finished, leaving him a washed up has been on jive records, where he’d spend his career making hooks for r&b chicks.

      nodding head. i really believe that dying was his best possible career move

      Reply ↓

  48. I enjoy Good Times but could never get into Sanford & Son.

    I don’t make/buy Kool-Aid. I grew up on the stuff (sugar. water. purple) but when I got to college I had a roommate who bought juice (what? what is juice?). I asked her why she didn’t just get Kool-Aid and she said it was too much work for such a mediocre drink. I decided she was right and haven’t bought or made the stuff since. Plus today I only buy 100% fruit juice anyways. Notice i said I don’t “buy or make” Kool-aid. I will come to your house and drink up all your Kool-aid and leave the pitcher empty.

    Ever since that early 90s Cross Colors fiasco, I’ve never been into urban brands (phat farm, ecco, roc-a-wear, etc.) . Even for non-urban brands, I hate large logos on my clothes/purses. No one should be able to tell the manufacturer/designer of my clothes or purses from across the room.

    I’ve had braids before but never a weave (track or sew-in). I don’t like unnatural hair colors and have only colored my hair once. I don’t like any style that includes hardening gel (finger waves, ponytails in geometric shapes, etc).

    Didn’t know this was a black thing but I also don’t wear sunglasses. This is mainly b/c 1) I often find them hard to see out of and spend a lot of time peeking from behind them to see if what I’m seeing is really what I’m seeing and 2) I have a very… uh… prominent nose. It doesn’t need a frame drawing more attention to it and when I put on sunglasses I think I look like this.

    Reply ↓

  49. I’ve never drank alcohol period.
    I’ve never worn or purchased Phat Farm, FUBU, Ecko, or any other Urban clothing brands.
    I’ve never smoked weed.
    My mother never beat me with random household objects.
    I do not know the names of most of the members of The Wutang Clan.

    Reply ↓

  50. I love to read, I can swim, play tennis and whoop a$$ on a chessboard. I’ve never been accused of “acting white.” Maybe because I was a good athlete also.

    Reply ↓

  51. My list:

    I don’t have any tattoos
    I don’t drink kool-aid or beer
    I don’t eat red meat or pork
    I don’t like watermelon, white bread, sweet potato pie, pecan pie, chocolate, or yellow bbq sauce (my southern folks know about that!)
    I don’t know how to play tonk
    I’ve never worn a weave
    I was raised by both parents (like, in the same household!)
    I plan to get married before having any children

    Now, on to other things:

    Champ, how have you never seen The Golden Child?
    “I, I, I, I, I, I want the knife! Pleeeaaase!!”
    LOL! That movie is priceless!!!!

    Also, I know I’ve been away for a minute but did I miss something here? For a second I thought I was reading a Panama post because it contained all the proper capitalization. What’s up with that??

    Reply ↓

    • You might be my sister cuz your list is pretty spot on to mine. Except I will fight a broad for some chocolate.

      Reply ↓

  52. Wow.

    This post should’ve been called “Have You Seen My Childhood.” Michael Jackson. Tell me that you AT LEAST grew up on The Jacksons..Or New Edition.. Are you normal?!?!?

    I guess you were lost as hell growing up when folks said “I I ah I ah I I I wan’t the KNIFE!! Iiiii WAN’T THE KNIIIIIFE, PLEEEASE..” Or didn’t know Kanye’s reference of “Brother Numsie” in one of his songs.. The Golden Child is a classic!!

    Also, Good Times, I love. It’s sad as hell, but hey, thanks to Thelma’s NFL husband, Wilona getting a new job, and JJ’s come up, they finally moved out the projects. Cloud moved, silver lining. And by the way, the words are “Hanging in a CHOW LINE.” For at least 20 years I sang, “Hanging in a JURY,” It’s wrong.

    However,
    I HATE all types of Melons. Yes.. I HATE watermelon.

    I’ve never had ox tails or pig feet.

    I’ve seen The Wire in bits and pieces. Never a whole season, but enough to know what y’all are talking about.

    I just saw The Mack.. “STICK YO SELF!!”

    That is all.

    Reply ↓

    • Oh… and I don’t wear weave.. Fake hair makes my skin crawl. Give me a year and a half.. I’ll grow it out.

      Reply ↓

    • “I I ah I ah I I I wan’t the KNIFE!! Iiiii WAN’T THE KNIIIIIFE, PLEEEASE..”

      no one has ever said this to me. in fact, i’m certain you might be the only human being who’s ever said this

      Reply ↓

      • I just said this to my white co-worker last week (while giving her an update that the flick was now in the Wal-Mart $5 bin).

        She *totally* got it.

        Maybe it’s a Southern thing?

        Reply ↓

  53. Looks like my black card is on Black Card status, compared to some.

    I might need to look at my bougie license, however…

    Reply ↓

  54. Not reading is a black thing now?
    Why you think there’s an entire Zane section @ borders?

    smh. These end run descriptions of black folks is kinda disturbing.

    Reply ↓

    • These end run descriptions of black folks is kinda disturbing.

      Isn’t it though? I am reading in utter disbelief. Lol.

      Reply ↓

  55. *I enjoy going to the library

    *I am not a Democrat nor do I support their party-I did relunctantly vote for Obama because it was ‘our’ first real chance and I stood in the cold for the inauguration (I see you Jesse Jackson)

    *I have never rushed to be the first one on a blog post just to type ‘first’

    *I dont like meat and was never a fan of turkey or chicken

    *I have never seen Colors, all of The Five Heartbeats, Love Jones, Jason’s Lyric, New Jack City (and never had the desire to)

    *Not a fan of Tupac (he was sexy)

    *I don’t like any form of melon

    *I regularly go to the doctor (get tested) and the dentist

    *I dont enjoy any form of alcohol or ganja

    *Never been a fan of Urban wear (Used, Cross Colors, Fubu, Rocawear, Baby Phat, House of Dereyawn, Apple Bottoms, or any type of clothing that promoted the use of rhinestones or glitter)

    *I am attracted to white men (not just the typical Jon B types but the preppy or the fully tattooed, pierced up goth type…sue me…I went to VCU and Georgetown)

    *I have never that gold belonged in your mouth

    *I cannot stand designs on the nails (just looks soooooo ghetto to me)

    *I believe that black people should not be ‘blonds’ (rarely does that work)

    *I have never had (nor been into) personalized tags, rims, spoilers, spinners (I saw that in Hyattsville a couple of days ago), big tires, loud systems

    *I believe that you should keep your jewelry simple (one ring, one necklace…think rappers)

    Reply ↓

    • I have never rushed to be the first one on a blog post just to type ‘first’
      *shots fired!!

      although, as a regular on espn.com msg boards.. i can tell you this is NOT unique to black people or vsb. EVERYONE wants a lil bit of shine in this day and age!

      Reply ↓

      • I just don’t get it…especially when you’re not saying anything that relates to the subject matter. I know that a person is first because…they are the first response. At first I thought it was an ‘age’ thing, but that has been proven to be wrong. To each his own

        smh…le sigh

        Reply ↓

    • *I have never that gold belonged in your mouth

      *Quietly removes platinum/gold fangs from my mouth, followed by a quick gargle…

      Is that better??

      Reply ↓

      • @SFG…I get the Republican side-eye all the time. When I comment on other blogs (WAPO,CNN,FOXNEWS), I often get mistaken for a middle aged white man…

        @DG…you get a pass because you could have a mouthful like Weezy and I would still hold you down :) ! We on some SFG & CBG; Whitney & Bobby Bonnie & Clyde shyt.

        @Cheekster…You, Andi and Legimate have exemption from this theory. I think something is wrong if one of you guys are not first :(
        –side note…your play-by-play of 50 Tyson made my Viernes!

        Reply ↓

    • *picks up jaw from floor*…you mean with all them bama avi’s, you lack all the black requirements? Lmao. j/k girl this isn’t bad even though I gave you the side eye for being republican, not liking devil’s juice and not eating chicken. I cosign the rest of your list but you gotta see New Jack City.

      Reply ↓

    • “Never been a fan of Urban wear (Used, Cross Colors, Fubu, Rocawear, Baby Phat, House of Dereyawn, Apple Bottoms, or any type of clothing that promoted the use of rhinestones or glitter)”

      Yeah, even as a Leo (lol) I HATE flashy clothes like that. Like, I love things to pop, but in a classier effing way. You know…one bright color amongst a neutral color. But not seizures all over my jeans and sh*t. No.

      Reply ↓

      • @Cheekster…what’s worst is when you see grown women in applebottom (nothing says ‘class’ like words written across da azz smh) or babyphat (after 25??? really).

        Reply ↓

    • “*I have never rushed to be the first one on a blog post just to type ‘first’”

      take out the “just to type first” and you got me! At least be creative with your firstness, though.

      Reply ↓

  56. I hate Tyler Perry and most Black movies, Zane and most Black authors, I’ve never been to Atlanta, I spent a summer at an HBCU and did not have the most rewarding experience of my life, hate church (even the choir gets on my nerves), prefer football to basketball, I don’t eat hot sauce and get royally offended when a waiter offers me hot sauce, A1, and ketchup for my meal, I’ve never been thick (thick at thirty is fat at forty), I wear my hair relaxed and flat-ironed as a rule, I have a white girl name, and have never ever EVER owned any clothes created, designed, or promoted by a black celebrity (urban wear.). But I AM from the westside of Chicago and I WILL cuss anyone out who questions my blackness! (Take it for what it’s worth)

    Reply ↓

  57. What strips away my melanin bit-by-bit, with each “offense”,

    - I don’t eat swine. And I’m not Muslim.
    - I HATE grits.
    - No tattoos and don’t have any interest in getting any. Not because I’m scared but because…to quote *cringe* Kim Kardashian, “You don’t put a bumper sticker on a Bentley.” LOL, seriously though…I like them on people (not too much), just not me.
    - My favorite Kool-Aid flavor is not RED, but green (lemon-lime). Panama got on me for this, but red deez. I like red (it’s my fave color!), but ice cold lemon-lime is heaven for me.
    - I’ve never smoked ANYTHING, let alone weed. I have my own reasons for this. After losing my dad and paternal grandma to lung cancer, I decided against it. My lungs just did the holy ghost.
    - I don’t have diabeetus nor high-blood pressure.

    Reply ↓

    • “I don’t eat swine. And I’m not Muslim”

      Me either. And then I feel to compelled to explain that I still love Jesus while passing up a slab of ribs.

      Reply ↓

    • I don’t plan on ever getting a tattoo and I’ve never smoked anything either. Although I’ve been in the car when my friend has bought weed. Come to think of it, I’m the one who set up the whole exchange between my friend and the weed man. Maybe I am black after all.

      Reply ↓

    • ETA: What makes me a non-black woman in particular,

      I HATE Coach bags or any other logo-gasms bags. Frankly, I think they’re tacky. Louis V, your a*s, too. Don’t get me wrong, I would rock any of these brands’ more understated items (like a purse with ONE coach logo…a small logo at that, I’ve seen some cute plainer bags) but I’ve never went gaga over Gucci logos all over my purse or car interior (which, doesn’t even exist in real Gucci land of course lol).

      Reply ↓

      • @Cheekie

        “which, doesn’t even exist in real Gucci land of course lol”

        This is what plays in my head everytime I see someone in Gucci printed everything! I am into handbags (not Coach or LV, but more like Givenchy, Elliott Lucca and Elie Tahari) and I know Gucci did not make some of that foolery that ninjas are laced in.

        Reply ↓

  58. *Loading guns and waiting on the Drop Squad to come*

    1. I don’t like church but love Jesus.
    2. I hate the electric slide or any line dance.
    3. Marching Band halftime shows bore me.
    4. Tupac wasn’t dope to me.
    5. I’m not homophobic.
    6.Although that’s my man I will openly criticize the Pres. (I just want to hug Michele for some reason)
    7. I love all kinds of music. (Im glad I found about the Black Keys)
    8. I will not watch reruns of black shows on TVONE just because they are on.
    9. I’ve never changed a diaper and I’m proud of it.

    Reply ↓

    • “I love all kinds of music. (Im glad I found about the Black Keys)”

      Hell yeah! Did you find out about them from the collab they did with Mos Def, Jim Jones etc.

      Reply ↓

      • @Rog

        No, I read about that collabo in Esquire last year but never listened but I was flipping through that nightmare called the fm radio dial and came across “Tighten Up”. I went to amazon browsed and was impressed. “Next Girl” is a dope ass song. After that I checked out the hip-hop/R&B collabos and was hooked. Nicole Wray… who knew?

        Reply ↓

    • 2. I hate the electric slide or any line dance.

      I mess with the electric slide, but only when it’s the ELECTRIC SLIDE playing. I don’t do the electric slide to any song that comes on.
      Oh, and the cha-cha slide? *Mutumbo finger wag*

      Reply ↓

      • “7. I love all kinds of music. (Im glad I found about the Black Keys)”

        damn I thought I was the only ninja in the world liked Black Keys, maybe the world isn’t such a lonely place, or maybe none of us are ninjas and we all need our black cards snatched??? *shrugs*

        Reply ↓

    • Dude, I got to ask you, did you watch Burn Notice last night? Man, the season finale is going to be bananas next week. Jessie is about to act a fool. Oh, yeah, I thought I was the only one that wanted to hug Michelle, for no reason at all.

      Reply ↓

    • I don’t like church either…pack of lies. I feel you on the black show reruns…like am I not cool because I’m not watching A Different World on TVone right now?

      Reply ↓

    • I love the electric slide…it brings folks together. Like, the dance floor would be EMPTY (well, except me a few folks lol), but when they slide comes on, it breaks all kinds of ice. Like, we to’ that sh*t UP at the christmas part at my job my first year there. I was like, ‘I LOVE this place.’

      Reply ↓

  59. My long thick hair is all mine. I won’t pretend to know about weave terms & I am really shocked to learn that some celebs who I think are wearing their hair are not. Sorry. How am I supposed to know? My entire family has great hair.

    Reply ↓

    • Yep. I had someone accuse me of not being honest when I said I was 100% black because I had long hair. Stupid stereotype. If you take care of your hair, it will take care of you.

      However, I will rock a weave or braids from time to time because I like to give my hair a break. And unlike some women (not saying you) I don’t get mad when I see a women with weave. I do, however, hate to see chicks with bad weaves!

      Reply ↓

  60. “A) Due to one of my great, great, great Native American second cousins, I was able to get waves without having to wear one.”- I seriously never understood this concept right here, why the Native American thing, we all know the tribe though, North Carolina Hambone…wth? Can someone just explain to me why choose Native American, please & thank you .(another shard of stereotypical Black culture that I don’t get) although the list is endless, I surrender my card willingly !

    Reply ↓

  61. Waka across the train. Waka dog on a plane… WAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAAA…

    Sorry, I had to get that out…

    Black things I don’t do:

    Own a gigantic murderous pitbull

    Eat chitlins, cow tongue, pig feet, chicken feet, or chicken backs… That issh is nasty, just nasty. I understand the necessity of those foods during slavery and sharecroppery when we didn’t have other options, but dammit we’s free now.

    Sidebar: I didn’t really have anything to say, I just wanted to see if my avatar worked…

    Reply ↓

  62. -I like NASCAR, I understand/enjoy it and Ive been to a couple races
    -I’d rather play chess than spades
    -I’ve shot shotguns and rifles more than handguns
    -I was in Boyscouts
    -I take ALL the stickers off my fitteds

    Reply ↓

  63. Dang, judging by these comments I’m stereotypical Black. I’m Black y’all. I’m Black y’all. I’m Blackidy Black ‘cuz I’m Black y’all. Hehe.

    Let’s see:

    I LOVE Martin (tv show)
    Have seen Color Purple, Friday, Boyz in the Hood,…
    LOVE playing spades
    Wear my shades faithfully (plus, I’m from Miami so maybe that’s why)
    Buys R&B albums (Mary J, J Hud, Sade, Jilly,…)
    LOVE Tupac and I’m not even from Cali
    LOVE all the little hood dances (teachmehowtodugie)
    LOVE me some grits (although I try not to eat them more than once a month)
    LOL…

    But, I do throw people off when I tell them that I have never smoked anything, don’t particularly like clubbin (although in ATL that’s the ONLY thing to do here. Argh), don’t have kids, don’t wear fake lashes, I run for exercise (not ’cause the po-po after me), and I’m in Grad school.

    Reply ↓

  64. I’ll give you a pass on all the other movies, but not seeing The Color Purple is just inexcusable. Have you at least read the book (which we read in 11th grade English class)?

    As for me:

    Never had a weave
    none of my male friends have kids (that they know of)
    never had Kool Aid (or ‘drank’, juice, what have you)
    can’t dance

    Reply ↓

  65. I loved the Wire, but that’s the one thing I never got about the show. The acting was……off. Cheese (Mr. Mef) was quite obviously from New York. That much was said during the show. But characters like Marlo, Avon, Bodie, Stringer, Weebay (sp) and others were supposed to be Baltimore born & bred….yet used (pretty much exclusively) NY slang.

    Chiefly the word “son.” I repeat, Baltimore cats do NOT say “son.” And we do not wear Du-rags much, let alone with the strings hanging down.

    That’s something I’ve only seen in NY, and in Texas. Snoop held it down though, now THAT’S shonuff Baltimore right there.

    -You’ve never seen The Last Dragon? That’s like treason right there. But I guess I can’t trip….I didn’t see The Wiz until I was like 16. Which was about 10 years after everyone else I know did.

    -I’ve never been to Atlanta either. Or North Carolina.

    -Good Times was never on my must watch list, and to take it a step further, I never cared for the Cosby’s either.

    -I never shot dice. I couldn’t even tell you the rules to it.

    -I’m terrible at Basketball. What makes that funny is people always assume I can play (since I’m 6′, can easily palm a b-ball, and can dunk if no one is guarding me). And again, I know very little of the rules (I still dont know who’s supposed to pass the ball inbounds).

    -I hate Watermelon.

    -I don’t eat pork, and the smell of Chitlins reminds me of a dead body (don’t ask).

    -I don’t know s*** about cars. Don’t care about rims either.

    -I’ve never been to jail.

    -I’m 27 and don’t have any kids (extremely rare around these parts).

    -I only know about guns from being in the military. Before then, I never held or fired one.

    -I HATE Madden football games. Always have.

    Reply ↓

    • I loved the Wire, but that’s the one thing I never got about the show. The acting was……off. Cheese (Mr. Mef) was quite obviously from New York. That much was said during the show. But characters like Marlo, Avon, Bodie, Stringer, Weebay (sp) and others were supposed to be Baltimore born & bred….yet used (pretty much exclusively) NY slang.

      Chiefly the word “son.” I repeat, Baltimore cats do NOT say “son.” And we do not wear Du-rags much, let alone with the strings hanging down.

      THANK YOU!!! That was always something I find extremely off about the show. Some elements were not Baltimore-Related.

      Reply ↓

      • Awhile ago I went and look The Wire up on Wikipedia. Not surprisingly, most of the actors are from New York.

        Props to the guy that played Omar though, he at least tried (said “Ayo” at the beginning of each sentence like we do).

        Reply ↓

    • I suck at basketball, too. I haven’t seen the Wiz in some years, so I got a copy of it from Best Buy and it had the soundtrack inside. I’ve never fired a real gun before either, and I live in Texas.

      Reply ↓

    • “and to take it a step further, I never cared for the Cosby’s either.”

      I literally gasped out loud when I read this

      Reply ↓

      • @Yonnie

        My life and that of the Cosby’s were on opposite ends of the spectrum. It just wasn’t something I could identify with, so it came off as corny to me.

        Reply ↓

    • You know what bothered me? How McNulty pronounced ‘Baltimore.’ I’m like, “that ain’t how they say it…is it?” When I realized where the actor was from, it all made sense. lol Though, I DO have to say those Brits know how to switch accents far better than Americans know how to do theirs. I was absolutely O_O by Idris in particular.

      Reply ↓

      • White Baltimoreans (Highlandtown, Dundalk, Essex etc.)-Typically say “Bawlmore”

        Black Baltimoreans (Damn near every other part of city)-say BalDimore

        Reply ↓

        • Gotcha. So McNulty was doing his research, huh. Coolness. Thanks. I just thought it was because Brits are racist against the letter ‘T.”

          Thanks, Rog.

          Reply ↓

    • I loved the Wire, but that’s the one thing I never got about the show. The acting was……off. Cheese (Mr. Mef) was quite obviously from New York. That much was said during the show. But characters like Marlo, Avon, Bodie, Stringer, Weebay (sp) and others were supposed to be Baltimore born & bred….yet used (pretty much exclusively) NY slang.

      this is true.

      i’ve never seen the wiz either, btw

      Reply ↓

  66. Let’s see…

    I’ve never seen Juice, The Golden Child, South Central, Menace to Society, Coolie High, Do The Right Thing… I could go on and on for days. Oh and I CAN’T STAND BABY BOY!!

    I’ve never even seen a full episode of Good Times. Just the clip of Janet getting the iron to the face. I’ve never seen a full episode of The Jeffersons or Sanford and Son either. And to top it all off, I hate The Game. The only good thing to come from that show is Tasha Mack singing Take A Bow. I youtube it all the time!

    Nobody in my family has a name that ends in ‘onda’ or ‘tay/te’

    Reply ↓

  67. never watched those movies?! never been to ATL? never purchased a R&B album?! wooow. lol. good post.

    I can’t think of a thing. I am the quintessential American black person.

    I love watermelon, fried chicken, black movies, plays spades, and I still bust down the electric slide at every single wedding I attend. I think that covers it. oh and a proud HBCU alum that lives for homecoming, CIAA, and any classic game of any HBCU, not just my own. pretty much for the band and to people watch/socialize.

    oh wait…a few things. I ADORE 80s -90s Madonna. But she used to be black so I’m not sure that counts.
    I don’t like pig feet or chitterlings aka chitlins. and I’ve never sold drugs, been shot, or been to jail. but I have visited folks there. smh.

    Reply ↓

  68. Let’s see:

    -I don’t eat grits
    -I don’t eat potato salad
    -I don’t eat oxtails
    -I don’t eat chitlins
    -I have never watch a Tyler Perry movie in its entirety
    -I listen to as much classic rock as a 2520 twice my age. (Give me Floyd, Zeppelin, Clapton, Hendrix and a six pack and I am a happy dude)
    -I haven’t seen Precious and not making an effort to
    -I don’t have any illegitimate children at 28
    -Never shot dice (I have bad luck so I don’t gamble much)
    -I’m the ComicBookGuy, so there you go.
    -I can swim and I like to go swimming and to water parks
    -My dad and I have a good relationship even though my folks split up when I was 5.
    -I really don’t eat watermelon, and I especially hate watermelon flavored candy. Give me a cantaloupe and a salt shaker and I am good.
    -I have no tattoos. Not a one.
    -I have never owned a pair of Jordans. (I don’t see how boys can wear a pair of $150 shoes and wear them to the gym. Chill out, mayne.)
    -I’ve never drank a 40 (A 32 maybe, but not a 40)
    -I was into anime before it became cool because of my older sister. I’m talking about late 80s/early 90s.
    -I suck at Madden and will admit I do. I have always been into fighting games and RPGs like Final Fantasy and Chrono Trigger (which is the best game ever)

    Reply ↓

      • Sure have. I got it on the Sega Genesis Ultimate Collection on PS3. I have so many classic games on my PS3 hard drive and classic game collections on PS3 and PS2.

        Reply ↓

    • You don’t like oxtail? *bottom lip quivering*…well how the hell are we supposed to be together??? :(

      I agree comic books and Pink Floyd are pretty white and I’m an expert on whiteness. I hate grits too.

      Reply ↓

      • I’m sorry, boo. I just can’t do it, but you will win my mom’s heart over with them. She loves some good oxtails. I do like collard greens, though, and jerk, steamed fish and because of Throwdown with Bobby Flay, I would like to try Escoveitch fish. The Jamaican lady that he challenged made it look so good.

        Reply ↓

        • You just won 1,000 points for knowing what escoveitch is. I like collard greens with the pieces of pork. It’s okay, not everyone likes oxtail. I’m sure you’ll like to eat me fish.

          ;) bang!

          Reply ↓

          • Oh no. No no no. I am so calling the Judge of you. You are so evil. LMAO. (paging Judge Keisha Brown) You are just trouble, young lady.

            When I went home for my high school reunion, my mom spoiled me after church by having enough energy to cook me some collard greens. She didn’t have enough strength in her hands to cut them like she used to but it was okay. I took some home with me. The spices that the lady on Throwdown used made me really want to try that fish. Plus, the lady was a very pretty older woman and one of the judges was Miss Jamaica. She is FINE AS HELL! Her accent drove me nuts.

            Reply ↓

              • I love the island flavor. (You started it) Throwdown is a good show. I like how he puts his own spin on regional foods. Oh, and my silly @ss might be glued to the TV during the Miss Universe pageant because there are some gorgeous black women in it this year. Women from Africa and the Islands. Hell, even Miss Norway is black and she is fine.

                Reply ↓

        • *saunters in with her velvet robe..
          court is now in session.
          i cant keep track with y’all. you 2 have been before this court more times than (insert witty analogy here).
          case dismissed!
          *bangs gavel

          ps: oxtail. is. the. ish. that is all.
          *wishes it was thanksgiving…(when my mom makes it).

          Reply ↓

    • Mmmm, oxtail….*Homer Simpson drools*

      I can’t speak on anywhere else, but comics/manga/anime are kinda hot, though still burgeoning, in the Black community in the ATL. Just went to Onyx Con last weekend and I was shocked at how much it’s grown out here. Still not enough sisters though….

      Reply ↓

  69. I’d like to cosign the depressing-ness of Good Times… First of all how did Florida pull James and who considers the following “Good Times”

    Temporary lay offs. – Good Times.
    Easy credit rip offs. – Good Times.
    Scratchin’ and surviving. – Good Times.
    Hangin in a chow line – Good Times.
    Ain’t we lucky we got ‘em – Good Times

    seriously?….

    and, I agree childless black people do travel in a different pack than those with children, b/c we have freedom and usually the disposable income to do whatever we want when we want! I <3 happy hour.

    Reply ↓

    • “I agree childless black people do travel in a different pack than those with children, b/c we have freedom and usually the disposable income to do whatever we want when we want! I <3 happy hour."

      *thumbs up*

      Can you tell that to my cuzn's who are constantly side eyeing? LMAO

      Reply ↓

  70. LLS, love this topic today.

    I hate sunglasses.
    Cheap false lashes
    Fench manicures
    ANYTHING LV, Coach, or Dooney n Burke.
    No desire for rims or kits
    Wear a full sewn in weave once for a big party and it broke me out, took it out after two weeks and swore it off for life.
    ATL once when I was 12.
    Really don’t care for Pits, Doo rags, Malt liquor, Grills
    Not a fan of the Wire
    Never was limited to R&B EVER not even as a child
    Wasn’t go go head as in going to go go every day of the week or even on the regular…but the old school bands DO be crankin, RE, NEG, BYB, Junk etc by the way “crankin” was our word (DC) probably before Soulja boy was born.
    Don’t do braids, hate them on men now, its LATE as he11

    Reply ↓

    • “Wasn’t go go head as in going to go go every day of the week or even on the regular…but the old school bands DO be crankin, RE, NEG, BYB, Junk etc”

      YESSSSSS! I’ve actually never been to a gogo, but RE, NEG, BYB, Junk, and the rest def crank.

      Reply ↓

    • ANYTHING LV, Coach, or Dooney n Burke

      Dooney and Bourke seems like something only the ‘elderly’ would appreciate. I was in Macy’s and slung one over my shoulder and it aged me 20 years!

      (thought I would be hearing more go-go music since I moved to the DMV….)Not a big fan of go-go, but that Baltimore music….. :)

      Reply ↓

  71. 1. I’m in my late 20s, and I don’t have a baby. This fact causes awe and wonder among some of my old HS classmates still working at the Bi-Lo in SC. smh…

    2. I can’t play Dominoes.

    3. I don’t read my horoscope, and I don’t kow what it means to be a Taurus. And this is not an invitation for enlightenment. Thanks in advance.

    Reply ↓

    • oh yeah not a baby mama either.
      NOT A hoochie, ho, aspiring video vixen, chasing fame or ballas etc although this is universal now!!!!!!
      Not overweight, I am actually fit, and I go to the gym and work out, five days a week, WILL sweat out my hair in a minute.
      LLS

      Reply ↓

      • That’s another thing. Even when I had a perm, I was never that girl afraid of sweating it out. As much as I love my alma mater, there were ladies there who would put up an umbrella for dew. DEW!! Trying to protect their fresh perms. lol.

        Reply ↓

        • that’s crazy with a fresh perm I’m truly unfazed, humidity rain sweat whatever even with an old perm but esp with a fresh touch up!!!
          I made up mind I will not be a prisoner to my hair anymore probably in my late 20′s but don’t get it confused, I wet set and style my hair weekly sometimes twice a week depending on what’s going on……salon visits now only for trims and extra special occasions.

          Reply ↓

    • “And this is not an invitation for enlightenment. Thanks in advance.”

      lol. I was about to break it down. lol
      I feel you on the being late 20s with no children. we are truly unicorns it seems. I learned how to play dominoes on Yahoo surprisingly. its pretty fun.

      This post reminded me of how grateful I am to have had the childhood I had. everyone’s experiences are diff and that makes us all unique and it was interesting to read about everyone else’s experiences as well…

      Reply ↓

      • lol. I tried with the astrology thing, but I just can’t get into it. I follow @Sextrology, and when they tweet “Taurus loves passionate ksses” or something vague like that, I can’t but think that other signs probably like that too. lol. I feel like it’s all interchangeable depending on the mood of the person on any given day.

        And I need to learn Dominoes. My sister plays, but she won’t teach me. lol. I’ll check out Yahoo.

        Reply ↓

  72. i think after scrollin through these posts, that the definition of ‘blackness’ changes from region to country to continent.

    for instance, chitlins is very much an american thing. maybe west indians have an equivalent, but it stems from ppl back home raising their own goats/chicken/cows and using tha HAYLE outta if. (ps: i LOVE oxtail..but dont do the cow foot soup..bleh).

    the worse part about it, is that we know many of these things to be stereotypes of blackness, but its still sad that we can’t just be unique, know what we know, like what we like without having our ‘black card’ taken away. we are all products of our environments, and i’d rather be the me i know, than the me i’m not (and dont want to be).

    we’re a people that prides ourselves on ‘being real’ and ‘real recognizing real’ – so instead of looking down your nose at someone for not ‘acting/talking/dressing black’ (whatever that means to you), just let me be great.

    Reply ↓

    • your last paragraph is lovely….let folk be, as long as you are being true to yourself and your true self, no one else can really tell you what that is and folk do recognize authenticity all day!

      Reply ↓

    • the worse part about it, is that we know many of these things to be stereotypes of blackness, but its still sad that we can’t just be unique, know what we know, like what we like without having our ‘black card’ taken away .

      I think the “black card” is said in jest. Because no matter how I act or what I do or don’t do, to everyone who sees me, my azz is black. There’s no changing that whatsoever.

      Reply ↓

      • @V Renee,
        It may be said in jest, but i can honestly say the most racism i ever faced WAS from black people. who judged me because i didn’t ‘talk black’ ‘dress black’, walk black etc..

        Perhaps they thought I was puttin on an act and trying to front like i was better than them. Obviously they had a skewed definition of what it means to be black. But alas.

        I read this the other day (shout out to @OneChele/BlacknBougie) and loved it:
        “Blackness is not a state of mind or a state of being, it’s a skin-tone or a genetic marker. (there was more to the quote..but damn le twitter for only being 140 characters..)

        Reply ↓

        • I totally understand where you are coming from. The most judgment I experience in my life as a kid was from my own people. My sister always thought me to be my own person and not let the color of my skin limit me from enjoying life. Most of this stuff is really said in jest because there are many things that I do and won’t change about me are associated with black people in America. The things that people have said on here are things that usually people not our race would automatically assume about us. They are more of a way of saying “Just because I am black does not mean I have to do/eat/watch/be that.” Some things we fall in and some things we don’t as individuals, no matter the shade of our skin. Hell, I got a mother that grew up on a farm and does not biscuits and gravy and my dad grew up in the country in SE TX and hates yams. Everybody is different, and these is just jokes. We all family here and we all know all go through situations where people assume about us because of our skin color, how we sound and where we are from. I get it all the time. People think I am lying when I tell them what side of Dallas I am from because I enunciate, I don’t wear sagging pants and baggy clothes and I am as down to earth as I am. It doesn’t matter where you go in life as long as you don’t forget where you come and have pride in that it made you who you are.

          Reply ↓

        • Trust me…no one on here questions your blackness, not with those lips of yours (pause…but not really)…them thangs are beautiful.

          Reply ↓

    • I always say this but I heart you KB! I was so confused growing up feeling like I wasn’t black enough. I’ll play along today cause it’s all in good humor but I do hate that we do this black thing to each other.

      Reply ↓

      • Love ya right back SFG!

        lol @DG’s drake-like pause. umm..thanks. ;)

        @CBG: that’s pretty much what i was getting at. you are black regardless if you do the ‘stereotypical’ things or not. im not better than you for not drinking 40′s or eating grits and you aren’t more black than me for it either.

        Reply ↓

    • Actually I heard the reason black folk eat shit chitlins is because back in the slave days the good massuh-n-em used to only give the slaves the parts of the pig, cowl, chicken that they didn’t want.. Hence we started eating the aforementioned, pigs feet, hamhocks, tongue, etc.

      *stifles vomit*

      Reply ↓

    • “the worse part about it, is that we know many of these things to be stereotypes of blackness, but its still sad that we can’t just be unique, know what we know, like what we like without having our ‘black card’ taken away.”

      If anything, the comments have turned into more looking down on those that do indeed do some of these things. *shrugs*

      Reply ↓

    • I can’t free style. Never have either. I know white boys that got better rhymes than I do. (Lowers head in embarrassment)

      Reply ↓

  76. I don’t eat fried chicken or chicken on the bone. I don’t eat ribs (maybe it’s the bone thing). Chitterlings, ox tails, pigs feet, turkey necks, gizzards (what?) all sound like slave food and I’m really not trying to be on the slavery diet. I don’t drink Kool-Aid or eat watermelon (or any other melon), but I don’t think it’s because I’m not black–I’m just a picky eater.

    I went to an HBCU and still can’t play spades and I just learned how to play Dominoes last year but I suck at it.

    I only use slang ironically and it cracks my friends up because I’m a grammar, subject-verb agreement, and the like are my homies.

    I read.

    I cannot dance and don’t like going to the club. Give me a bar or a lounge and I’m straight. Oooh and if they have karaoke it’s even better.

    Someone bought me my first pair of Jordans two years ago and I’m about to turn 30. I have never worn them and don’t plan to.

    I hated Precious and only saw it because it’s what my cousins and nem wanted to see. I didn’t enjoy the Friday Trilogy and I just saw Love Jones (and didn’t care for it) for the first (and only) time last year. Is “The Golden Child” that movie with Eddie Murphy and the bald Asian Kid? Yep, haven’t seen that or Boomerang.

    I liked the Boondocks much better when it was in print and rarely watch the show. I only catch it if it happens to be on and nothing else is or if someone emails me a “you’ve gotta see this” Youtube video.

    I don’t understand rims or bass (knock? hit?) or whatever it’s called and am so not a fan of rap. I hear Wocka Flocka Flame for the first time yesterday by accident and almost wrecked my car. Well, I assume it was Wocka Flocka Flame since he kept repeating “I got that flame!” over and over.

    I don’t find any cinematic merit or worth in Tyler Perry Productions films and the plays get the major side eye, too. I really wish he would just come out of the closet already because Jesus will still love him. Oh, I’m not homophobic.

    I’ve never bought food stamps or claimed anyone’s child on my income taxes. I’m 29 and childless and that good mortgage and grad school tuition are my only deductions.

    I could go on and on but I’m pretty sure The Council of Colored People Who Verify Blackness has already got my number. But wait, I have a bourgie- pampered-lives-indoors-never-been-tied-to-a-treepit bull not named king, so that has to count for something.

    Reply ↓

  77. I do lots of non-stereotypical Black things and here are some I don’t…Let’s see…

    1. I just started eating watermelon like five years ago.
    2. I don’t like collard greens, but can cook them. Or any greens for that matter.
    3. I don’t like eggs, even scrambled with cheese.
    4. I just learned to ride a bike this year (Didn’t every Black kid get a bike when they were young? Well, I didn’t, though my mom swears she bought me one. Yeah, right!)
    5. My house has never been shot at and I’ve always lived in the “hood”.
    6. I don’t drink beer. Sh*t’s nasty.
    7. Never had a glue-in or sew-in weave…looks hot and heavy.
    8. I REFUSE to electric slide or cupid shuffle…I don’t need a song to tell me how to dance…I have rhythm and use it well.
    9. I don’t dress up and wear heels to go the mall…if you’ve been to Lenox Square in the ATL you know what I mean.
    10. I’ve never owned a pair of Jordans and don’t buy sneakers that cost over $50…why spend that much on some tennis shoes?

    Reply ↓

    • 4. I just learned to ride a bike this year

      This isn’t a Black thing, this is a “people” thing. How did you not learn how to ride a bike? An even better question is who the hayle taught your grown ass to ride a bike THIS year?

      Reply ↓

      • If ya mama don’t buy you a bike and no one else is riding, then you don’t ride. Just didn’t happen. Believe it or not, you can take a class to learn how to ride. With the big push for folk to stop driving, biking groups offer classes. Found out you can be trained to be a trainer. And it’s nothing like what folks do to their kids. Glad I live in the ATL where you can find such a thing.

        Reply ↓

  78. -never really played Spades (or any card game for that matter), dominoes, or shot dice/craps ..not my cup of tea
    -I don’t like chitlins, grits, or watermelon
    -Saw “The Color Purple” for the first time in college, lol
    -never drank a 40 (or any alcoholic beverage)
    -never saw “The Last Dragon”
    -never smoked anything
    -I enjoy episodes of Martin now, but never watched it growing up

    Reply ↓

  79. I don’t really care for soul food or fried chicken. I don’t readily admit that since people tend to shun me but since you asked…

    Reply ↓

  80. I didn’t start watching “Boondocks” until this past season…and I was not impressed.

    Don’t recall ever seeing “The Wiz”.

    I don’t eat grits. Pass me that Malt O’Meal.

    And I fix other flavors of Kool-Aid, besides “RED”

    Reply ↓

  81. I don’t eat collards… nor do I know exactly how to make them… they stink!

    I’ve never had fake hair of any kind… not exactly sure on how it is applied.

    I cannot quote anything from Menace II Society. Not even sure I’ve seen the entire movie.

    Oh and I rarely wear a scarf to sleep in and would NEVER wear it out in public no matter WHAT.

    Reply ↓

  82. Man, to be the mixed guy in the crew, I’m pretty stereotypically a ninja now that I think of it – i’m all about soul food, shoot dice, used to rock a doo rag (even in the VSB pic I have up, you cant see it, but underneath my hat…is a doo rag), live in predominantly black neighborhoods (thought i went to high school and lived in a about 60-40 white/black locale), had one momentary lapse in narcotic intake judgement BUT did nearly face a fed charge on a narcotics violation, OWN nearly every black movie ever created including the tyler perry suites, always find my way to TVOne and/or BET for some “my kind of people” entertainment, outside of family dont have a single contact in my phone of a white person….well i think that’s enough and you get the point. i dont even know how this happened…

    once my (white) mother told me that i’m like the blackeste person she knows…LOL…i thought she was being sensitive bc i didnt want to date snowbunnies…turns out she wasn’t that far off.

    plus, i can teach ninjas how to dougie….

    Reply ↓

    • plus, i can teach ninjas how to dougie…. .

      *crying* I WANNA LEARN!!! Someone teach me!!

      I feel ya list though. I may not do all n*ggerish activity, but please believe I participate in a great deal of it. Aint no shame in the game **clap clap**

      Reply ↓

    • plus, i can teach ninjas how to dougie….

      PJ just got bumped from a three to atleast a 6 for that. :-P

      Reply ↓

  84. I LOVE SOUL FOOD MINUS BEEF AND PORK….
    fried or baked chicken, mac and cheese, fish and girts, all greens collards turnips kale mustard with a smoked turkey neck or wing Delish!!!!
    Watermelon although this is a fruit
    Fried turkey bologna and hotdogs etc etc etc etc

    Oh yeah I don’t do Ciroc or any of those other hip hop endorsed Vodkas/drinks etc
    I do Goose in the summer Remy in the winter and Heine lights all year

    Reply ↓

  86. Hmm…I forgot to say this too…Champ, i’m like the POLAR opposite of you in all these regards.

    -i OWN every move you haven’t seen
    -I’m Westside ATL certified (go where the f*ck I wanna go)
    -none of my friends have to have any kids…cuz i got one
    -while it aint a great show, Good Times is classic TV and gave us the ubiqutous term “damn damn damn James!!!”
    -half of my roughly 1K physical CD collection includes R&B to include Rome, Profyle, Surface, Troop, Ideal, Playa, and other..well…ninjas
    -i don’t do snowbunnies
    -I rock sunglasses at this point cuz i’m cool like dat
    -don’t drink 40s, that’s some West Coast sh*t
    -shot dice, in fact in high school i got grounded for a week for starting a dice game in my garage…we keep it coming like 5-deuce-4-trey…sh-shaw-sh-shawty
    -somebody got shot on my back porch…lol good times (no pun intended)

    the main bullet point is that i need to know more white people.

    As a reminder for folsk who dont’ follow the Twitter feed (@panamajackson – get like me) i’ll be in the Chi on some last minute get out jail free sh*t…partaying it up at The Wit. i dont know where that is, but i’m black who cares.

    Chi-town stand up.

    Also, for those online at 3pm, i’m doing an interview with the The Kenny Burns Show on beehivefm.com talking about the article that pissed dames off, the “good girl” joint

    holla at a playa…

    Reply ↓

    • “i’ll be in the Chi on some last minute get out jail free sh*t…partaying it up at The Wit. i dont know where that is, but i’m black who cares.”

      It’s on State Street.

      lol, but everyone in the Chi knows where it is. Not sure if you know this, but it’s kind of a big deal. Chi VSBs/VSSs betta be there. Because, I’ll be there. Jermaine, too.

      Reply ↓

    • you know, i just realized i don’t own any movies at all, lol. black, white, nothing. seriously, my DVD collection consists of both Kill Bill’s and that’s it.

      Reply ↓

    • Late as ever, as always…

      Panama, I think we are one in the same. After reading all these “I don’t this… I don’t eat this…” posts I think I may be the most stereotypical black person ever minus Love Jones, Poetic Justice & most hood movies… I pretty much do everything else everybody says they don’t. LOL. However, I’m also in other things… and a uninamous vote in my family concluded I am most likely to marry a 2520. o_O

      Reply ↓

    • Hey P you are officially a certified 10. Lol.

      My list
      i love soccer and rugby
      Apparently ninjas dont get married but I am
      educated sistas dont date marry and/or date blue collar workers, i did.
      Never been arrested nor shot at

      I officially blacker
      I own almost every black movie dvd out there
      Went to a hbcu for both undergrad and graduate school
      had a kid out at a relatively young age(20)
      i love dried chicken and grits

      thats it for now.

      Reply ↓

  87. LMAO I love this Champ!!!

    [I cannot believe that you haven't seen THE LAST DRAGON!?! Seriously though Champ...you need to AT LEAST watch Love & Basketball!!! #Classicsh*t]

    -None of my friends in Pittsburgh have any kids
    [Yes! I am exactly the same way!!! All of my friends including myself are childless...needless to say, for the most part we are all single and college educated sistas too. Sigh. Our time will come...it will come...]

    -I’ve never drank an entire 40 (Honestly, I’ve never understood how people can do this. I mean, I can’t even drink 40 ounces of water in one sitting, so how the hell do people drink 40 ounces of beer? )
    [That's something I've been wondering too..I think know where it the beer goes though...on the ground cuz they gotta pour some out for the 50-11 homeys that's passed on.]

    -My house has been shot at…
    [LMAO...this shouldn't be funny, but the way you said it made me laugh out loud!]

    Reply ↓

    • “I cannot believe that you haven’t seen THE LAST DRAGON!?! ”

      I can’t either. I know growing up it was on like everyday on HBO…lol
      I saw it waay too many times, if I wanted to or not.

      Reply ↓

  88. I actually have a theory about how black people with kids and black people without kids usually travel in completely separate social circles

    I just think this is people in general, not specifically Black people. I beg my friends with kids to come around (WITH their kids), but I think that they think that their children will be a burden on the night’s events (sitting around stuffing ourselves with food and talking trash). I beg to differ.

    Reply ↓

  89. 1) I was 11 when I had McDonald’s for the first time
    2) I was 20 when I had soul food for the first time
    3) I’ve never had water with cornflakes
    3) I’ve never had an STD
    4) I’ve never worn weave, no perm
    5) I have straight pubic hair
    6) I have no idea who the pioneers of hip hop are besides Jamaica
    7) I don’t like shrimp
    8) I’ve never worn a head scarf
    9) Don’t like Biggie
    10) I come early to work
    11) I’m not afraid of water
    12) I’ve never been to Compton
    13) I don’t go to church nor do I believe in organized religion

    Reply ↓

    • Girl, iDied at #5. Judge Keisha caught with that one.

      Everything else I can see based on the conversations we’ve had on here. I don’t put in cornflakes, partly because I don’t eat cornflakes. It is odd you don’t like shrimp but I have noticed that shrimp isn’t in a lot of Jamaican food. You have seemed like a very worldly person, considering the heritage of your parents, and I like people like that and like to learn from people like that. Just learning patois the West Indian folks on here has been cool. Oh yeah, who makes an effort to go to Compton?

      Reply ↓

    • @KB…huh? I’m GUILTY!…now who gon check me boo? I’m hiding stuff and need a thorough strip search this time.

      @CBG…awww thanks for the compliments! I have traveled alot but there are tons of places I want to go. Most of my travels have stopped once I became a mom. I haven’t spent more than 3 days away from her. I’m all excited about going to Puerto Rico next month and that would have been an “easy” trip for me a few years ago. Ah such is life. I don’t eat seafood except for fish. You know black folk like to claim all the black ghetto “meccas”…comptom, carol city, detroit, watts, etc. lol

      Reply ↓

      • That is so cool that you feel that way about your daughter. I haven’t traveled as much as I would like, well at least out of the country. I want to go to the places that most black folks don’t go, like Japan, India, Austria, places that are beautiful and historic. I love No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain because to places that are beautiful that I knew nothing about. He was in Uruguay and was chilling on a beach where the beach houses didn’t have much electricity and no cellphone signal. Give me beer, a lounge chair, hat, and that sounds like paradise to me. You know where I haven’t been? Miami. Been to Florida plenty of times but never that far south. But I realized that I would get kidnapped by some smart girl if I step foot in South Florida, so I’m good. ;) I also realized that I travel to every city that is on “The First 48″ except for Cincinnati and Miami. I’ve been to all of those cities except those two just this year. Crazy.

        Reply ↓

        • I mean this in a nonsexual way when I say I’m wild. Seriously, I don’t need much. I prefer to do the most native things when I travel…and there is nothing I love more than BEACHES!! The more deserted and remote, the better. Way back in the day we used to d@mn near kill ourselves trying to find beaches and I almost died in White Falls (seriously). I like to do very little “touristy” things as I feel I have more fun just taking in the natural beauty places have to offer. I used to be one of those girls that ate anything until I had a very bad experience so now I’m picky on international dining. Don’t feel bad about limited travels as there is much to see in the U.S. I’ve been to every state on the east coat/west coast and below the mason dixon line however I’ve never been to middle america. I want to do a cross country road trip in december as I love road trips! Maybe I’ll stop in Texas. ;)

          Reply ↓

          • @CBG + SFG
            lord have mercy on the texans if you get there.
            mind you..i dont know how much of texas you’d actually see.
            unless we nickname CBG texas.
            that is all.
            oh wait..one more time for the road.
            texas.
            *snickers at self and friday silliness.

            Reply ↓

          • @SFG and Keisha Brown,

            I adore you two ladies. You guys are really cool and keep me laughing all day. I learn a lot from y’all because of the interesting perspectives you have on life. I honestly don’t have conversations this good unless I am with the fam. It’s like you two have been friends forever or something. Y’all have a good weekend.

            Reply ↓

            • LOL@ Keisha! hahaha. Thanks CBG, ditto. My productivity level at work has gone done alittle since discovering VSB. I really need to decrease my activity on here but I do enjoy it. I’ve never been a blogger. I would read blogs but NEVER comment. I see why people get into it. I don’t “know” any of you but I feel like I’ve known you and Keisha for years. Hell I tell ya’ll more about me than I do people I see in real life. I almost like the fact that we are anonymous even though I’m going to make a trip to Canada and see KB cause I know we were sisters in a past life…and if you ever are in Florida and don’t let me know I’m going put a hit out on you. The only vsbers I’ve met are Nickerz and Peyso.

              Reply ↓

  90. house never shot at or me personally but a bullet did ricochet off a vehicle me and my granma was in,,,,My granma was shot in the foot and owned a 45 Magnum..my Granma was Gangster, but she was still the sweetest, coolest, classiest, strongest, wisest, nicest person God rest and bless her soul.

    Reply ↓

  91. I think you should differentiate between what TYPE of black card is being revoked….i think i may have my ‘BADUblack’ card revoked because …

    I eat the swine( but shop at traders joes/whole foods/the food co-op)

    I use JAM (but I have dreads)

    I enjoy places like ART’s in Pittsburgh lol (but I also enjoy James Baldwin and NPR)

    I want a pair of solid gold bamboo earrings….(but I also want a dutch wax print onesie from Boxing Kitten)

    But i guess since Badu is the queen of paradox I’m good. My card is reinstated *POW!

    Reply ↓

  92. I had my black card revoked, when my girlfriends caught me singing “Private Eyes” by Hall & Oates.
    Here are some other offenses that I committed:

    1. I don’t know how to play Spades, Bid Whist, Spit, dominoes, or any other games. I grew up with a Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis and a Turbo Graphic 16 in my house.
    2. I am particular about my Kool-Aid (not too much sugar and don’t mix every flavor together). Also, I hate when cherry, watermelon or strawberry-flavored Kool-Aid is referred to as “red”.
    3. I refuse to listen to hip hop music that was created after the year of 2000.
    4. I am physically-allergic to hoodrats and ninjas. I break out in hives when I am around them…seriously.
    5. I hate watching movies on bootleg DVD’s.
    6. I don’t like fried chicken or ribs.

    Reply ↓

      • I am glad that you and I are hip to the H&O music.
        I do have one friend, who also listens to H&O. In fact, we were traveling through Brooklyn one day (in Brownsville, in fact) and she was playing “I Can’t Go For That” with the bass on high.

        Reply ↓

        • yeah they are soulful. lots of black ppl love them, and Michael McDonald. lol Sara Smile and Rich Girl are my jams. I have the very best of hall & oates on my ipod.

          Reply ↓

        • I feel ya. Hall & Oates is a staple on my iPod. I got some tracks from one of Daryl Hall’s solo albums.

          Reply ↓

      • YES. That takes me back. I remember watching Dtv (Disney’s version of Mtv) at night as a kid and listening to that song… They played all of that stuff back in the day.

        Reply ↓

    • “I had my black card revoked, when my girlfriends caught me singing “Private Eyes” by Hall & Oates.”

      You girlfriends are trippin’. H&O goes hard. I’ma side-eye them for you.

      Reply ↓

    • I saw Hall and Oates playing on tv recently.. still sound the same..
      “One on One” is my jam..
      OH! and “you make my dreams..!”

      I see you Reecie with the very best on the Ipod.. i actually bought the cd.!

      Reply ↓

    • @Mimi

      “I had my black card revoked, when my girlfriends caught me singing “Private Eyes” by Hall & Oates”

      Hall & Oates are a pass into the black community; along with Michael McDonald and Teena Marie. So You’re Good! : )

      Reply ↓

  93. I had forgot to add:

    7. I don’t own a Lauryn Hill/Fugees album.
    8. I don’t get how “artistic” Lil’ Wayne is…Sorry for not drinking from that cup.
    9. I would rather watch MTV and Fuse than to spend an entire hour watching BET.
    10. I don’t know how to double dutch.

    Reply ↓

  94. I HATE GOOD TIMES! ALL those years in that same dingy azz dirty miserable depressing room in front of that couch. DAYUM.
    I am SO glad someone else hates it too because when I mention my hate, people look at me askance.

    I also am not into macaroni and cheese, potato salad and other wonderful soul food classics.
    I dont do biscuits, I prefer yeast rolls. (Someone told me this was an Issue, who knew)
    I am not fond of Pits and Rots, I have a Cairn Terrier. And a Schnauzer.

    I hate the feel of oils so I don’t:
    use body lotion or oil
    use hair oils of any sort
    eat fried or buttery food
    because I just cannot stand greasiness of any sort on my skin, my hands, or my lips. No Blue Magic or Cocoa Butter for me.

    Reply ↓

    • Did anybody else just get a mental image of Nina lookin’ like she just walked out of her nighttime job where she works at a bakery? How do you combat the ash?

      Reply ↓

      • yes….’cause Bath & Body works don’t stay in business on Black money alone…most 2520 women i know keep a bottle of lotion in their purse. they might not have to grease down, but they lotion up.

        Reply ↓

      • Cmon, I’m not sayin’ the 2520′s don’t use oil or lotion. Just like some of ‘em drink Kool-Aid, eat grits,have pit bulls and stuff. But HERE, always having a stick of cocoa butter or bottle of lotion on you is a Stereotypically “Black” Thing. And I just cant grease myself or my kids up because I cant stand the feel of oily stuff on my hands. Cant stand the feel of hair grease as it melts and gets on the back of the neck and the ears, and watch in horror as some of the women I know cover their entire faces with face cream and stuff. I would DIE. Few women I know can believe I have no lotion,body oil,vaseline, cocoa butter, hair grease, baby oil or ANYTHING in my house. I dont think there is anything bad or wrong with it, I just hate the feel of oily stuff.

        If I eat buttery toast, I have to immediately wipe my lips. Which makes me an anomaly down south because it means I almost never eat fried food or veggies cooked with fatty meat.*resisting urge to wipe lips right now*

        As far as ashiness. a. I don’t have dry skin. b. i’m sort of pale. *hangs head *

        I have worn bandana do-rags and my brothers own pitbulls AND I live in the hood and loved me some Boston Baked Beans, Cherry Clan and Laffy Taffy (banana) when I was a kid.

        Reply ↓

  95. Pitbulls. I absolutely do not understand the obsession some of us have with pitbulls. I’m fairly indifferent about dogs. But if I was going to have one as a pet, I wouldn’t get a pitbull. I actually have a theory about cultures and the dogs they select. But now’s not the time, I guess.

    How you’ve managed to dodge all of those movies is beyond me. But what’s even more beyond me is how you’ve managed to dodge “Becky”. I did a stint in State College, PA for grad school. Becky and crew are hunters…and they’re hungry. Avoiding their clever traps requires skill and savvy. Even the nerdy ones have the ability to…

    Wait

    Perhaps I’ve said too much. Uh…I gotta go…

    Reply ↓

  96. I don’t think any of the things that people have posted make them any more or less than black than anyone else. Individual differences in general, trump group dynamics. Here is my list

    I am still black despite following:

    I don’t eat watermelon or grits.
    I am vegetarian, with a vegan leaning.
    I don’t eat greens, cole slaw, sweet potatoes, potatoe salad.
    I don’t like many cooked vegetables.
    I don’t play dominoes.
    I don’t drink Kool-Aid.
    I don’t like plays.
    I don’t wear acrylic nails or false eyelashes
    I never used food stamps or received public assistance.
    I am Muslim.
    I went to a PWI for undergrad.
    I am only child. Neither of my parents remarried or had other children.
    I am working on my doctorate.
    I like Maroon 5 and Cold Play.
    I wear my hair natural, instead a of relaxer.
    I breastfed my son.
    I believe in the time-out method.
    I am bilingual and speak both languages with my son.

    I am not more black because of the following:

    I am getting my doctorate from an HBCU
    I am the product of a divorced home.
    I had a child before 30 (at 28) and decided not to marry my son’s father.
    I wear weave when I want to wear straight styles, rather than putting stress on my hair
    I am a descendant of a Black Seminole ethnic group.
    I heart the movie Love Jones.
    I have seen Friday, Color Purple and some of Tyler Perry’s movies.
    I love step shows (though not Greek).
    I can do the electric slide.
    My father cares for my son while his dad and I work.

    In reality, none of this is Black-specific. It’s just the stuff that makes me “me.”

    Reply ↓

    • I think that’s why the title of the post is Stereotypically “Black” Things You’re Just Not Into. “Black” is even in quotation marks. I don’t think any of the VSBs or VSSs fit into, or want to fit into any boxes.

      Reply ↓

      • Sadly many people believe stereotypes to be true. My dissertation is actually on stereotype internalization. And while I know the smart ones among us may not buy into them, there are those who do. My intention was not to sing the choir.

        Reply ↓

  97. let’s see. i’ve never seen the color purple. at this point i think i just don’t want to see it to get a rise out of people (pause) when they hear i’ve never seen it. i didn’t see the five heartbeats or the temptations till college.

    i’ve never slept with a white woman. nor do i have any desire to. i’m lying. i’d do some pretty nasty sh*t to jessica beal.

    i don’t like watermelon, collard greens, mashed or baked potatoes or seafood (any type).

    outside of factory. i despise rims.

    i don’t like strip clubs.

    i’ve never been arrested (knocks on wood).

    Reply ↓

    • I’ve never been to a strip club either. I don’t do seafood also. Never been with a white woman. I don’t keep hot sauce handy anywhere, ever. I don’t have baby powder in the house. I didn’t even eat chicken wings until a year ago and I’m 31. Something about ‘em I just didn’t want to bother with. I’ve never had a pair of Jordans or now Lebrons.

      Now this takes the cake here though with the whole “driving while black” thing…as irresponsible as it is and I’ll get blasted for it I’m sure, but I was driving impaired and got driven home by the cops once. Not arrested or anything. Cops seem to be cool with me. Been pulled over twice without getting tickets in the last year or so.

      Reply ↓

  98. I’ve never taken an old toothbrush and gel to create baby hair that is not really there by swirling the toothbrush to pull hair from my hairline to make it look like I have baby hair. Go figure…I think I lost my black card along time ago when I decided to talk “proper”. LOL!!

    Reply ↓

  99. I’ve never been to Atlanta
    -really?!?!? Come on down!!!

    None of my friends in Pittsburgh have any kids
    -really. Hmm I guess only one of my friends has kids that’s not married. I feel like I know lots of ppl with kids though… now that I think about it most of them are divorced does this make a difference?

    ** I actually have a theory about how black people with kids and black people without kids usually travel in completely separate social circles, and I’d expound upon it if I actually gave a damn.** I’d like to hear it!

    I always hated Good Times
    -ME TOO!!!!

    I’ve never purchased an R&B album
    -what!!!!! Is the key word here purchased????

    I grew up in Southwestern Pennsylvania, went to a predominately white college, played a sport, and only slept with one white woman
    -I don’t believe you, you need more ppl.

    I haven’t worn a pair of sunglasses in at least a decade
    - I don’t think this is a black thing. The sun is blinding and sh!t

    I’ve never drank an entire 40
    - this is not a black thing it’s a ghetto thing

    I’ve never shot dice
    - I haven’t either but I guess this is a black male thing

    My house has been shot at… SORRY

    Reply ↓

  100. - I spend very little time thinking about race or racism.

    - I can’t recall anything ever happening to me that struck me as outright racist.

    - I was never seen as the go-to guy in class for racial stuff due to my being black.

    - I haven’t been stopped-and-frisked yet in NYC (I know this *could* happen – it just hasn’t yet.)

    - I no longer want to attend the MIH picnic in Brooklyn anymore.

    - I hate modern day oversinging melisma in R&B.

    - I (unwillingly) judge the Grown-N-Sexy First Fridays set, as well as what a friend and I call the “Howard Hollywood” set that lives here in NYC. (Howard Hollywood means the folks who went to top-level HBCUs like Howard, the AUC schools, Hampton, FAMU, etc., and who now live ostentatiosuly fabulous in New York City. They use their Facebook photos (I’m tangentially connected to alot of them) to display How Much Fun they’re having constantly and how interconnected they are. Ugh.

    Reply ↓

    • Hollywood Howard–LMAO!

      Believe me, “they” are worse in D.C.! Government jobs do sumthin for the self-esteem of a top-level HBCU graduate–LOL! And I am saying this a Howard grad student–UGH is correct.

      Reply ↓

    • - I hate modern day oversinging melisma in R&B.

      I am nodding *emphatically* at this one. What happened to clean, original, crisp, GOOD voice in R & B (Otis, Sam, Marvin, Bill etc)? or lyrics, for that matter? I guess that’s just not the style of the day. I think Mariah is the perfect symbol/allegory for the devolution of the genre.

      Also, I blame the popularity of the term “Grown & Sexy” on R. Kelly and his shenanigans.

      Reply ↓

  101. I saw The Color Purple for the first time (I’m 23) like last week.It was really good. While I don’t think my development was stunted by not seeing it earlier, it has helped me understand a lot of things that black people say often.

    LOVED this post. I think it just underscores the truth that there is more than one way to be black. SURPRISE SURPRISE.

    Reply ↓

  102. Sorry to burst some bubbles, but some of the things you people are listing as Sterotypical Black things are really sterotypical HOOD/Ghetto things….it’s kind of sad people can really seperate the two..SMH.

    Reply ↓

    • What’s considered “black” but not “hood”? All I can think of if stereotypical things involving the black church.

      Reply ↓

      • Lol, I just re-read my original reply above and I wouldn’t consider any of what I said hood except the Grown-”N’Sexy thing, so I guess that answers my question.

        Reply ↓

    • LLS firstly hood as in neighborhood as in black neighborhoods and the ghetto /slums/projects are two different things, sad you don’t know the difference between those two…understanding that is the first step.

      Reply ↓

  103. Let’s see, let’s see.. What has gotten my black card revoked…

    – I say the “ing” at the ends of my words.
    – i’ll go swimming AND get my hair wet.
    – I’ve never worn weave.
    – I don’t wear fake nails or eyelashes.
    – I love 80′s music. And yes, I’m talkin bout Duran Duran, Inxs, etc.
    – I love 90′s alternative music.. Dave Matthews, Matchbox 20, Third Eye Blind, The Verve Pipe etc..
    – I’m 32 and have no children.
    – I haven’t seen Precious and I didn’t like “The Wiz”
    – I hate gospel plays.. but I love musicals.. (Rodgers and Hammerstein kind)
    – I want to travel outside the US.
    – I do not like collard greens or okra..
    – I don’t leave the house in curlers..
    – I don’t put all that powder on my chest after my shower..
    – I’ve never been drunk..

    i’m sure I got more.. I’ll be back

    Reply ↓

    • I leave the house with my hair set, yes I do, and have no problem going to the store, the nail shop, running other quick errand LOL.. now I don;t do house shoes, satin caps, pajamas etc

      Reply ↓

      • i can’t.. once my hair goes in curlers, nobody outside of my family sees me in them.. i know my mother planted this in me somewhere..
        matter of fact, there’s been times when i’ll be asleep and in my dream someone will knock on my door.. i will literally take the curlers out of my hair in my sleep because i think someone is at my front door..
        i’ve woken up many times with dropped curls and the rollers all over the floor..
        no lie..

        Reply ↓

        • I can’t stand to see a sistah out in public with a head wrap and/or setters.
          That is the absolute worst. I dont care if its just a quick corner store run, fix yourself. You aint gotta dress up, but got damnit look like there is class along with that @$$.

          I have my large and empty salad bowl ready for the hordes of tomatoes and lettuce to be thrown my way.

          Reply ↓

          • Its beauty in progress, and not an acccurate measure of class at tall, LOL I’m a LADY no doubt. In a small way its a measure of my confidence ;-)

            Reply ↓

            • Oh is that what it is? A measure of your confidence or a measure of your hoodrattean ways? Well, whatever helps you sleep at night Orange Star. Whatever helps you get your z’s.
              :-) Just joking. I still hate that shyt though. It falls right along with pajama bottoms and house shoes out in public. Thats confidence hoodrat shyt all day.

              Reply ↓

    • LOL… this list was funny but uh yeah we gon need that black card ASAP!

      “I didn’t like “The Wiz”
      I’ve never worn weave.
      I’ve never been drunk???”

      Wut Nickerz? Say it ain’t so, say it ain’t so!!!!!

      Reply ↓

      • it’s the God’s honest truth..

        I don’t like Wizard of Oz.. so the fact that they remade one with black people didn’t help much..
        I can’t with weave.. i just can’t.. too much money for something that don’t look natural.. AND i can’t get it wet? suppose i wanna “sweat out weaves?” Too much work..

        i think the drunk thing is a control freak thing.. i need to be aware of myself at all times.. and dont’ wanna have any “where’s my panties, who is you?” experiences. I also hear that hangovers aren’t the business.. I can do without it..

        Reply ↓

        • Ohhhhh but there’s so much ignant/ridicKulous sh!t in the world you miss out on when you deny yourself these things…

          The jury is out on this black card revoktionation

          Reply ↓

        • and dont’ wanna have any “where’s my panties, who is you?”

          LOL…you made me choke on a chip with that one

          Reply ↓

        • i think the drunk thing is a control freak thing.. i need to be aware of myself at all times.. and dont’ wanna have any “where’s my panties, who is you?” experiences. I also hear that hangovers aren’t the business.. I can do without it..

          I don’t think the drunk thing is a “control freak”, IMO. I think it is more of a courtesy/common sense thing. I am the same way. I refuse to get tipsy/blown out/faded/blotto in public areas. Now, I can/will/have and had gotten faded, when I am chilling at a place, where I feel secure.

          Piggy-backing off your comment:
          Here’s another Stereotype-shattering quality of mine:
          I do not like Hennessey, Remy Martin, Courvosier, Alize, Bacardi Armadale, Cristal, Ace of Spades, Grey Goose and Old English.

          Reply ↓

    • Looove the 80′s music, and the 90′s alternative. My twin and I watched Headbanger’s Ball, too.

      NO to the Precious.

      Lawd, the powder! You have laid me out for the day…

      Reply ↓

  104. after reading and replying to some of these, I’ll join in…of all the stereotypes out there, I:

    1 – suck at the electric slide and hate line dancing of any kind
    2 – don’t speak patois, can’t imitate my West Indian relatives at all….don’t speak ebonics either. (I do kiss my teeth regularly)
    3 – got my first job at 15 and have been working ever since (I’m 34)
    4 – have dated White, Latino, and Asian
    5 – freely state that RnB is not my favourite kind of music…nor is it Rap…love ‘em both, but the only music I can listen to all night is house/pop – and if you see me at a Reggae or Soca jam, I’m there against my will
    6 – have never worn “urban wear” (Rocawear, FUBU, Dereon etc)
    7 – grew up in the “hood” (according to the media) but every parent I knew had a job, I always had Christmas presents/birthday presents and stuff for back to school…and my mother was a single parent…
    8 – can’t play dominoes or spades…
    9 – can’t stand anything related to Tyler Perry. He’s not funny.
    10 – can’t bring myself to use the word “n*gger” or it’s variants….won’t even use negro. If I want to insult someone or call them worthless, I call them a “muthafucka” or a “fuckwit”

    Loved the post.

    Reply ↓

      • @HLBB

        if you see me at a Reggae or Soca jam, I’m there against my will”
        co-sign. (*ducks for cover..saying that in tdot is blasphemy).

        but TOO many (yes.not all) reggae jams are either ppl smokin the ganja or daggering. mi nah bodda.

        and soca? requires the energy and stamina stamina of the engergize rabbit. going to a fete at night and coming out at sunrise is not the business. i love sleep too much.
        i do appreciate the dress codes for a soca jam (trackpants and runnin shoes!! ftw!!). lol.

        Reply ↓

    • I HATE the electric slide..
      i hate the song that goes with it.. i hate that the electric slide song does NOT match the dance…
      and i hate that even if the song isn’t playing, black people will turn any song into THE electric slide song..
      Lol…
      yeah, my hatred is that deep..

      i don’t cuss, but with your #10, i’m wondering how you got past moderation…
      “clap for em.. clap for em..”

      Reply ↓

      • Sigh, I hate when people do it to house songs, like “Follow Me” *grits teeth*

        I dunno, this is my first time posting on this blog…possibly the moderation detects only the correct spelling…?

        Reply ↓

        • that’s possible..
          I JUST heard “follow me” last year.. i’m not gonna lie, i like it, but dang! not every song needs the electric slide dance..
          and my girl told me about you.. so i shall follow..

          Reply ↓

        • I feel the same way about the song “Ain’t No Stoppin Us Now” by Whitehead & McFadden.
          Every party that I attend, whether if it’s a graduation party, wedding, family reunion, baby shower, BBQ, funeral reception and any other party that song is always played.

          Reply ↓

  105. 1) I have never sat around a table on a Friday/Saturday night with a bunch of other people drinking and passing blunts having conversations regarding the following: NayNay an em, who got out of jail, who just got locked up, who’s on the run, Keisha and her baby daddies, child services taking away Pumpkins kids, Rasheed beating Pookies @ss for cheating on him, scamming on food stamps, beatin some n*gg@ @$$, the chick you bout to get jumped, setting up a mofo, etc, etc. while playing spades.

    2) I have never played spades
    3) If I were to own a dog, it would not be a pit bull
    4) I just got my first pair of Timbs last year(as a gift) I hate em.
    5) I do not wear white tees and beaters as outdoor wear(unless its hot)
    6) I do not smoke weed.
    7) I have never seen or transported contraband of any sort.
    8. I dont ride dirty unless you consider a rejection sticker riding dirty.
    9) I do not own 20 fitted caps in a multitude of colors.
    10) I do not own anything military style or fatigue.
    11) My rims are factory and have never spun.
    12) I have never driven laying down with my seat in the rear of the car.
    13) I have never owned a sports jersey or team sweat suit.
    14) I don’t hop on fashion trends. I set them.
    15) NONE of my friends have been to prison or are involved in any ‘criminal’ activities.
    16) I have never flipped on a dirty mattress.
    17) I have never block hugged: hung out in front of a liquor store or on street corners.
    18. I dont respect thugs and criminals
    19) I believe women should breast feed.
    20) I cant stand Jay-Z. NEVER.
    21) I hate any rap music that glorifies self destructive and counterproductive shyt.
    22) I never really got into Good Times growing up because it was depressingly poor and discouraging to watch.
    23) I loved the Cosby show even if my parents weren’t doctors and lawyers because it gave me something to aspire towards.

    Reply ↓

    • I mostly lurk, but I am never disappointed when I read your comments. You are my greatest, never met, probably won’t, ever in life, e-pal!

      Thanks and stuff:)

      Reply ↓

    • first of all SoBo..
      i aint gots no kids. why you gotta call me out like dat?? lol.

      but umm.. please fill me in on this breastfeeding thing. (this is the second time its been mentioned today).

      and for the record, some women just can’t. and it’s so hard because you are made to feel like less of a woman or less of a mother if you cant. and it’s unfair. being a new mom is hard enough. and this is coming from someone who isn’t one yet. so dont judge. there might be a reason for it. if you get to the day where you are married and your wife struggles.. i hope you never say this to her right after she birthed your daughter/son.
      *gives stern look to SoBo.

      Reply ↓

  106. This is nice.Some of us probably refer to ourselves as “black” (in everyday life) regardless of the stereotypes (or lack there of) we identify with as individuals. That’s great.

    What’s horrible is the reason why some people will defer from referring to themselves as “black” due to the lack of stereotypes they identify with. That would imply, that their own idea of “black” is totally encapsulated in those stereotypes. That’s sad.

    “Black” is self-explanatory.

    AND, I’ve never seen The Color Purple. HA!

    Reply ↓

  107. ONLY way I can reclaim my Black Card:

    I have tattoos and piercings (4 tats (cant see them with certain outfits), 11 piercings I guess some of SFG is rubbing (pause) off on me)

    I have been arrested a couple of times and I have been to jail (no felonies-I am NOT jail material but was tough enuff to have control of the remote during my ‘extended vacation’)

    I am a single parent

    I hate my baby daddy (no good sorry piece of …)

    I had my daughter young (when I was 20…lil chica will be 12 on Monday…I am officially old)

    Most of my friends have kid (s)

    I have worn a weave

    Even tho I have gone to /am attending some great schools, it took me YEARS to get the undergrad (took my time with me being a single parent and all)

    Reply ↓

    • Somebody say “rub” and “SFG”? lol Jai, I got tatts too (2 on shoulder bone and one on back). I was young and anybody who wants to judge off that is a fool! I’m a single mom too and complete understand with the school thing. I had my daughter at 24, no husband and made NO apologies. It takes a real woman to have children and be a great mother at that. All these older women boasting about not having kids are missing out! Who cares if you wear weave…most women do. No need for strike throughs, be proud of yourself girl! I make no apologies for who I am or what I have been through…NONE. It’s all about how you carry yourself. I look bougie and I’m very classy on the outside but I’m a nerdy, hoe brain with tons of heart on the inside. You seem real and that’s much better than pretending to be miss perfect anyday.

      Reply ↓

      • @SFG

        I heart your entire response. I have a fleur de lis tat on my lower back that I “love”. I make no apologies for that because it represents where I’m from. I don’t have kids and I waited 8 years after undergrad to get my MBA, but I got it (so, big e-love for you Jai for making school happen). Everyone’s life will not run the same course. But, that is what makes life grand and interesting.

        Reply ↓

      • Awww thanks ladies, I feel so deep now. *waves over for group hug*
        Doesn’t that feel good? Let’s let it all out. We can’t be perfect. We have to love ourselves first. I love you too KB! lol

        Reply ↓

  108. I am SO everything! I’m the black girl who grew up in the hood, but was not of the hood (sort of like Nia Long’s character in Boyz n the Hood). But as a woman, I’m probably looked at like Sanaa Lathan’s character in Brown Sugar.

    Reasons why my black card is solidified:
    1. I can play spades and dominos with the best of them (and know what the hell I’m doing)
    2. Went to an HBCU (Southern University Baton Rouge STAND UP!!)
    3. I LOVE red beans, biscuits, fried chicken, watermelon and kool-aid (although I tend not to each it so much because I want to be healthy)
    4. Thought the Color Purple was a really good movie.
    5. Can Electric Slide my arse off!
    6. Love the fact that I’m built like a sista. : )
    7. Would prefer to have some black presence in the city I live in. (I don’t do living in the hood, but I need to know that we are around)
    8. Martin is the funniest sitcom….EVER!
    9. I know who Big L, Cella Dwellas, Buckshot and Jeru the Damaja are.

    Reasons why I may need a bougie card:
    1. The reason I don’t eat pork has nothing to do with being a Muslim or because I learned it wasn’t good for you. I did it as a spiritual fast when I was 14 and never went back (a lesson in sacrifice and discipline).
    2. I love Bjork, Portishead, John Mayer and Amy Winehouse
    3. Hate acrylic nails
    4. Hate Doo Rags
    5. Hate films about “the hood” (Boyz n the Hood, Menace II Society)
    6. HATE black art of black man holding the world on his shoulders or the naked sista with the afro hanging onto her black king.
    7. Hate linen suits or any tropical colored suits that pimps wear with Now & Later gators.
    8. I Love Jeremy Piven
    9. I know the meanings of Private Equity, Hedge Fund and Brick and Mortar

    Reply ↓

    • My Sistah from anutha mistah (boooo I know)

      Dammit if we ain’t on the same wavelength… I was just lookin at all the lists posted like “Oh my, who knew… I might just be the blackest beesh on VSB” (rhyme intended) However you may have me beat with the “built like a sista” part… Massah came up on that one *le sigh*.

      Reply ↓

      • @Yeah…So

        “I might just be the blackest beesh on VSB”

        (Loving the sistah bond) I felt the same way while reading. I was like, “who can’t stand to eat a popeyes biscuit every now and then?”; and not liking the Electric Slide? Even if you can’t do it….do you have to hate it?? smh

        Reply ↓

    • I am a down tempo/Trip hop head period, Esthero, Zero 7, Etro Anime, Telepopmusik, Morcheeba, Quandron, Thievery Corporation etc etc etc and Amy is another blued eye soul singer..John Mayer can eat two d y c k s tho.

      Old Skool hip hop baby, will never ger old!!!!!!

      Reply ↓

      • @Orange Star Happy Hunting

        I can appreciate your taste because I am definitely worldly when it comes to music. I can even understand you being pissed at John Mayer for the effed up things he said, but Amy is a talented singer/writer despite her troubles (listen to her singing with only an acoustic guitar on youtube). I just can’t lump her into the “another blue eye soul singer” category. Now Joss Stone…..I feel that way about her.

        Reply ↓

        • Didn’t mean JUST another(Johnny Kemp) for Amy, she’s an incredible talent and I hope she gets it together soon and makes another DOPE album..I loved Frank a lil more than Back to Black, both are nice!
          I don’t even like Joss Stone’s material or Christina “kill a song by oversinging it to death” Aguilera(sp), and many more I don;t care for LOL

          Reply ↓

    • 8. I Love Jeremy Piven

      Who doesn’t? I don’t even watch Entourage, but I have been a fan of Jeremy Piven for a long time. He can play the hell out of any character he does, no matter how big or small the role is.

      Reply ↓

      • @CBG

        “He can play the hell out of any character he does, no matter how big or small the role is”

        Exactly! I believe him in every role.

        Reply ↓

    • 6. Love the fact that I’m built like a sista. : )

      Y’know this is a violation of VSB code, right?? Statements like this must be verified with a recent, full-body pic…

      Btw, is that Lynn Whitfield in your avi?

      Reply ↓

      • @DG

        LOL! I have been told that I grossly violate the VSB code. There are plenty of VSBs and VSSs who post on this site and live in the D.C. area. With that said, I wouldn’t make a statement like that knowing the risk of running into one of them. : )

        …and yes, that is Lynn Whitfield. She’s from my hometown and I met her at an event I attended.

        Reply ↓

    • I actually did a spit-take on Bougie #6! (I was drinking water). As an artist, I have to uphold the code and not do my contemporaries dirty, but…

      I plead the fiz-ith.

      Reply ↓

  109. I crack up when Black people say they don’t eat pork, and follow with a clarifying statement about not being Muslim. From now on if someone offers me a rib, instead of saying I don’t eat meat, I’ll just respond “Muslim here.” LOL

    Reply ↓

  110. ***RETYPE (minus striketthru I hope)
    ONLY way I can reclaim my Black Card:

    I have tattoos and piercings (4 tats (cant see them with certain outfits), 11 piercings I guess some of SFG is rubbing (pause) off on me)

    I have been arrested a couple of times and I have been to jail (no felonies-I am NOT jail material but was tough enuff to have control of the remote during my ‘extended vacation’)

    I am a single parent

    I hate my baby daddy (no good sorry piece of …)

    I had my daughter young (when I was 20…lil chica will be 12 on Monday…I am officially old)

    Most of my friends have kid (s)

    I have worn a weave

    Even tho I have gone to /am attending some great schools, it took me YEARS to get the undergrad (took my time with me being a single parent and all)

    Reply ↓

    • You are too funny, but I got much love for you being a single parent and taking of your daughter and still getting your degree. My mom did the exact same thing you did. She was 20 when she had my sister and went to college to get her degree and at 32, she had a cute little boy that to turned into me (poor thing) and I ruined my 12 year old older sister’s life by making her miss the school play the night I was born. Kudos to you for holding it down for you and your daughter. Seriously, women like you and the e-boo SFG are the reason why guys like me become the men we are today. I know your daughter and any future youngin’s you have will turn out great because of you. (Sorry for getting too deep. Momma has been on my mind a lot lately.)

      Reply ↓

    • Ehem. Pardon me. *pushing CBG’s pandering to the side*
      Excuse me.
      @Jai
      *reading quickly* Got a rap sheet. Got undergrad. Great mom, yadda yadda yaddda. Ahhh, here it is: 4 Tatts and 11 piercings you say?? Can’t see them with certain outfits?
      licking my chops Heh-heh-heh-heh.
      Well,……hello Jai. How YOU doing?

      Reply ↓

      • Why you always be giving my man a hard time? You want me to fight you??? You know I got 5 brothas just waiting! *puts gat on the table* …say somethin…anything I dare ya.

        Reply ↓

      • Got an undergrad, will finish my Masters at Gtown in May, and plan on attending law school (rap sheet n all LOL) in the fall of next year. Tats & piercings are available for DG to see and explore (I’m a faithful e-boo LOL)

        Reply ↓

        • Good for you! Don’t worry about the rap sheet. Sometimes those who have been in the system make the best lawyers. You know and understand the foolishness that you are dealing with.

          Reply ↓

  111. Thank you! I watched Good Times as a kid, but could care less about watching reruns of it and my friends stay in front of the tv during a marathon. My cable provider doesn’t carry TvOne and I’m completely unconcerned. The only reason I’ve seen The Wood and Love and Basketball is because my friends made me watch it we were out of town with nowhere else to go. Never seen Jason’s Lyric, athough I do feel slightly bad for never seeing Poetic Justice all the way through. The Game? Girlfriends? Nope.

    But the main thing my friends stay renouncing me for is my dislike of macaroni & cheese, yams, sweet potato pie, and other such things, LOL. And I’m allergic to watermelon and cantaloupe.

    I do play Spades, though!!

    Reply ↓

    • @Nonotthejacket

      Love the name, btw.

      “I do play Spades, though!!”

      I can’t speak on behalf of the black card committee, but I think your playing spades gives you extra black points (to make up for your dislike of mac n cheese and sweet potato pie). lol!

      Reply ↓

  112. I’ve never seen all of Baby Boy or any of the Friday series…that usually induces some “gtfohwtbs”, and “are you serious?” I can’t relate, and they didn’t seem especially entertaining.

    I have a proportionate asp. my hip to waist ratio is what it should be. I have curves but more Nicole Parker Kodjoe than Pinky…somewhere midway between the two. Snizzle boo-tay.

    I don’t neck roll, or shout, or argue. Perhaps too passive, but far from being the stereotypical Shantonqua. I hate that stereotype. We aren’t frightening, biatches seeking to emasculate anyone with a peen.

    Never had a pair of Jordans, or wore cross-colours.

    Never been in a fight…outside of siblings…aaaand 1 cousin but those didn’t really count.

    never liked Peach Faygo, this may be a regional thing but Peach Faygo and chico sticks seem to be a documented part of black culture in the midwest.

    My clothes have ALWAYS come primarily from Nordstrom, J.crew and Banana Republic…before it was popular for “us”.

    I hate designer labels. i’m not paying you so I can advertise you! silly.

    I have never had a knock off bag.

    …I’m sure I could continue, but all of a sudden they want me to start working while I’m in the office, soooo

    ttyl.

    Reply ↓

    • I REFUSE to watch Baby Boy, Belly, any of that mess.

      I’ve never seen a Faygo bottle, except online in pictures.

      Reply ↓

    • I never owned a knock off purse either, thats so not fly IMO

      Never was in a fight outside of cousins either and maybe a minor thing in elementary although I’d like to throat punch this fake overbearing ol extra hating bama a$$ dry b*tch, forgive me Lord but I cannot stand people like her.

      I never did basketball shoes either, always running shoes.

      I love high fashion though, not gaudy and names everywhere, but nice premier sh*t fo sho!

      Reply ↓

    • “…I don’t neck roll, or shout, or argue. Perhaps too passive, but far from being the stereotypical Shantonqua. I hate that stereotype. We aren’t frightening, biatches seeking to emasculate anyone with a peen…”

      Same here…I don’t see the point in acting like a dang on fool because someone accidentally bump into me. I am also considered “passive” by my mother, because I am not the type of person who try to bum-rush other people, in order to get a seat on a public bus/train.

      Reply ↓

  113. Let’s see.

    I have a huge void in my music knowledge. I know the classics from the 70s but haven’t listened to 1/3 of them. Same with hip hop.

    Don’t drink much but when I do I prefer Dos Equis, stay thirsty my friends I like vodka straight on the rocks.

    I love to read. My sis has a quote: If books were a controlled substance I’d be, like, Amy Winehouse. That’s me.

    I love documentaries especially war documentaries, particularly WWII. I’m watching the History of War. Fascinating stuff.

    I love Samurai Champloo and Afro Samurai. It blends my love of swords, samurai, hip hop, and adventure. I also like ahem…adult hentai/manga/anime, just not too extreme.

    Live in the post Soviet Central Asia and loved it. People are so welcoming there.

    I’m an electronics geek. I have countless USB cords for stuff I bought and gave away ages ago. I have no less than 2 laptops and a tablet PC. Bought to upgrade the oldest laptop, it’s 4 years old. Reformatting=a new laptop, don’t forget.

    I love to ride my bicycle. Denver has bike trails all over. I stay in shape and get to see some women with insane legs. A woman in great shape is an aphrodisiac. Mmmmm…woman abs and shapely legs…mmmm.

    My spades game is off-ish. I either over or underbet. Dominos I’ma beast. Got southern relatives and a head for counting.

    Reply ↓

  114. Noticed that ppl on this site have some very negative views of black ppl.

    And that I don’t think black ppl under 50 eat chitlins anymore.

    Reply ↓

  115. I don’t know how to electric slide or play spades.
    I’ve never smoked w**d (whoop whoop!).
    i never starch all my clothes down and iron them OR match the navy in the shoes to the navy in the shirt to the right shade of navy in the jeans, even when that was cool.

    Reply ↓

  116. Black card confessions before it got cancelled:

    1) When I was a teenager, I rocked du-rags to sleep. I used Nu Nile, Dax, and JAM wave pomades to enhance my waves. Nu Nile worked wonders.
    2) I had a flat top in the 5th grade.
    3) I went to public elementary school in the projects.
    4) In high school, I went to basement parties and experienced some hardcore grinding in dark corners when the reggae came on.
    5) In high school, I’ve been to one, two, four or five cookouts that resulted in everyone running and jumping over fences cause something was about to pop off.
    6) In high school, I drank one or two wine coolers senior year, cause back then, we considered that sh*t real alcohol.
    7) I went to a few sketchy dark @$$ house parties, where you could cut the ‘some shyts about to go down” tension in the air with a knife.
    8. I used to want to ‘hump’ all the cute girls round the way. Even in the bushes.
    9) I used to tell, ‘yo mama’ jokes and crack/cap on my friends.
    10) I used to crush on girls that wore doorknockers and bamboo earings, at least two pair.
    11) I love fat @$$es.
    12) I ate Now-nd-Laters, bubblelicious gum, sunflower seeds, fifty cent pickles from the corner store, Doritos(ranch), salt and vinegar chips, and teenie juices. You dont get any stereotypically blacker than that.

    Reply ↓

    • p.s.
      13) I wanted to be GQ(Omar Epps character) in Juice, cause he was the ladies man and the fly dresser.

      Reply ↓

    • Well dang! And here I was pegging you as stoosh. You blackidy black boy! There was nothing, NOTHING better than dancehall house parties with wall grinding back in the day. I rocked the tennis skirts for that purpose alone. Wine coolers were the ish I tell you. We would drink them and pretend to be drunk. LOL

      Reply ↓

    • @Mr SoBo

      “I ate Now-nd-Laters, bubblelicious gum, sunflower seeds, fifty cent pickles from the corner store, Doritos(ranch), salt and vinegar chips, and teenie juices. You dont get any stereotypically blacker than that”

      I heart you for #12! I use to love eating the salt and vinegar chips. : ) But, nothing was funnier that watching guys eat sunflower seeds. Why did they shake them in their fist first?? lol

      Reply ↓

      • @Jai
        That hand movement comes natural to some guys. A habit developed from many lonely nights I guess.

        Reply ↓

    • You know you’re black when you read this…
      “I ate Now-nd-Laters, bubblelicious gum…”

      …and when spoken, sounds like this…
      “I ate Nowalaters, bubba gum…”

      My black is blacker than your black, folk…lol

      Reply ↓

      • @DG
        You know, I was just about to follow up with that, but you beat me to it. You aint lyin bro. You aint lyin’.

        Reply ↓

    • Now & Laters isn’t a Black thing.

      That falls under the umbrella of smart life choices. I still cop a few from the gas station from time to time (though the inflation in the last 20 or so years is ridiculous).

      Now, if you pronounce it without the &, *that’s* a Black thing.

      Reply ↓

      • Speaking of food….

        All I got say is:
        Four chicken wings and beef fried rice.

        And for the hood ninjas on here:
        Four chicken wings and beef fried rice with hot sauce and ketchup on the chicken.

        Reply ↓

  117. LOL, I could definitely name a few for myself.

    I’ve never seen a single episode or clip of In Living Color, I do not know how to make Kool-Aid (my mom refused for us to have it), I don’t know a single person that’s ever been shot (family, friends or associates), I have never had a weave or purchased a rap album.

    Reply ↓

  118. i will preface this with my mother is from England (she’s black) and i’m from brooklyn

    1. i have a passport and leave the country at least once a year
    2. never owned a pair of jordans
    3. never had acrylic nails
    4. wash my hair every 2 days (never had a perm)
    5. Didn’t who Bell Biv DeVoe was til i got to college
    6. I’m a vegetarian (been 1 my whole life, parents are too)
    7. Don’t drink kool-aid

    *** 1st time poster***

    Reply ↓

  119. I’m late posting as usual….black card committee please take notice of this next time my qualifications are up for review…

    I’ve had my black card called into question on numerous occasions but after reading this post and the comments I think my qualifications were called out for no good reason! I call racism*! (*black card committee please take note of that too)

    My only truely black card violation worthy offenses are:

    I don’t like watermelon, grits, or a bunch of other foods deemed black card acceptable. But I love collard greens, mac & cheese and sweet tea so I feel like that should make up for everything.

    I’ve never seen Malcolm X or the Last Dragon (numerous representatives of the Black Card committee have put me on notice for the Malcolm X one…so much so that I plan to rent it soon)

    Now there are a number of things I do that might make me bourgie card eligible…but very few other black card violations.

    *Walks away confidently with black card renewal in hand.*

    Reply ↓

    • Malcolm X is hella long but it’s sooo good.
      No one man should have all that power! #hatehatehate

      Reply ↓

    • That’s not so bad…
      I think your black card is still good.
      Mine, however, might be revoke once the committee finds out that I have never read “The Miseducation of A Negroe”, “The Autobiography of Malcolm X” and other novel that is on the Essence Magazine’s Bestselling Books list…not because I cannot find any of the books, but because I don’t want to read them.

      Reply ↓

  120. good one

    well I do not eat,entertain, “soul food”
    I love real rock music
    I have no desire to be light skinned’ed lol
    I have never seen Love Jones, New Jersey Drive, Have Plenty, or most “black” movies…
    …and so much more lol. Basically I’m so black im white lol

    Reply ↓

    • o and I have no desire to date outside of my race

      i have never had fake nails

      i hate henny, crown royal and grey goose lol

      Reply ↓

  122. I love the Black on Black hatred this post encourages.
    Soooo basically what your saying is you do everything possible to not “act” black or display black any mannerisms . YAY for you!! Two pats on the back for you!!

    It’s one thing to try and not fall under a stereotype, but saying you haven’t watched this… haven’t been here… does not make you any less black, or any more superior. And I definitely got the vibe that because you have not experienced certain things, you were somehow better.

    UGH, this post really disgusts me!

    Reply ↓

    • I didn’t take it that way at all. It seems to me Champ is talking about what society paints black people as, not realizing we are not all that way (and yes, society includes black culture as well.). We don’t all do these things, but because we’re black, people assume we’re supposed to…I don’t find upholding what people want me to be high on my list of sh*t to do, and I don’t know any other adult that does either. It’s not about being less black or more black (like there is such a ridiculous thing) it’s about being who you are, liking what you like, regardless of what people expect from you.
      Sidenote: I didn’t know people could “act” a color. I thought you either were or you weren’t.

      Reply ↓

  123. Anyone bold enough to admit they don’t find Prince sexy or see what the big deal is about him? Oh, and as much as I love Michael Jackson, I don’t know the lyrics, couldn’t understand what the heck he was saying but I jammed anyway lol.Thank God for Google.

    Reply ↓

  125. The stereotypes I get most often are…
    1) You read? You read books?
    2) Do you have any children?
    3) Girl, whatever you must’ve done the wild thing once or twice by now.
    4) Can I call you Shaquana? Shaniqua? Lashantiqua? (My name is Testorshia…just call me Tes).

    Reply ↓

  126. Late as ever.

    1. I don’t care for Baby Phat, Apple Bottoms, Hilfiger, etc.
    2. I have an entire wall of bookshelves, filled with books I have actually read, enjoy and lend to others. (my own personal library)
    3. I am vegan (which excludes pigs, chickens, cows and all other animals as well as their organs)
    4. I homeschool
    5. My husband is white
    6. I don’t purchase or drink Kool-Aid
    7. BET annoys me
    8. I love alternative music
    9. I’m a size 4
    10. I buy 100% juice
    11. I recycle
    12. I have a water cooler in my house
    13. I love the thrift store
    14. I have a passport and have used it to travel abroad
    15. I work out
    16. I practice yoga
    17. I have never had a perm
    18. I don’t play cards

    Reply ↓

  127. -Don’t like watermelon or Honey Dew Melon

    -Dont like hot sauce, Flamin Hot Cheetos, or anything really hot for that matter, but oddly i love creole food *kanye shrug*

    -I hate salt and vinegar potato chips, actually i dislike most foods that tend to be sour/bitter… including sour patch kids

    -I can count on 1 hand the amount of times i’ve fried ANYTHING, not that i can’t, i just choose not too, im not really down with the poppin grease ish. But if somebody else fires chicken/fish i will eat it w/o hesitation lol

    -Dont go to a black church

    -Dont really do the “club” thing, something about wall-to-wall sweaty ass people, just reminds me of college… been there done that. I prefer lounges

    -Growing up college wasn’t even an option. My parents never said, “if you go to college” it was more like “when u go to college”

    -I took like 3 sips of a 40oz b4….im good for life on that ish

    -I’ve only put brow gel in my hair once…… i was young and my cousin convinced me smh, never again tho

    -For a little while during my pre-teen years, my favorite group was Hanson and my favorite TV show was 7th Heaven…..i was kinda goin thru a phase lol

    Reply ↓

  128. “…-Dont really do the “club” thing, something about wall-to-wall sweaty ass people, just reminds me of college… been there done that. I prefer lounges…”

    I hate going out to nightclubs and even to lounges…so of course, I am called a “stick in the mud” by my homegirls (who are in their mid-twenties). I don’t see the point in:
    1. Spending an entire Saturday afternoon getting ready (shopping, getting my hair did and going to a nail salon, etc.).
    2. Waiting for your slow a$$ friends (depending on how you are traveling), because they are some serious CPT.
    3. Waiting outside of the nightclub, because the bouncers are some serious power trip.
    4. Trying to get up in the VIP section, just so you and your homegirls can sit down in a booth seat and listen to music. I can do all of that at home.
    What’s the point?

    Reply ↓

  129. I’m 38 and I’ve never had any kids.

    I loatheTyler Perry and Zane. Actually had an argument with Zane on Twitter about why her work sucks and she should know better. She said she was helping people. I blocked her.

    Furthermore, the Black authors I read are more likely to be non-fiction than fiction.

    I grew up in the suburbs. With both parents.

    I don’t drink Hennessey or any other liquor named in a song, endorsed by a hip-hop artist, or otherwise consumed by Pookie n’nem.

    I’ve never slept on my hands, arms, etc so as not to mess up my hair. Any attempt to put a scarf on my head ends in failure, a headache and a fucked-up hairdo.

    And I like Bon Jovi. Y’all can have my Black card if you want to, but I think my face pretty much speaks for itself

    Reply ↓

    • LMAO @ your argument w/ Zane!! Her work is tragic imo, I’ve read 1.5 of her books – the first b/c I didn’t know any better & figured I’d finish it, the second hoping it would be better (& is left unfinished). It’s sad that she can’t get any more creative than terms like “p***y juice”, LOL…

      Reply ↓

  130. This is a HILARIOUS post…why didn’t I see it sooner???
    1. I got MAYbe 4 spankings in my entire life
    2. I HATE greens, ANY animal organs, grits, crawfish
    3. I didn’t learn how to say the N-word w/o almost getting beat up by other Black people until high school…as in the -a vs. -er (now, I don’t say it at all)
    4. I’ve never been/plan to go on a cruise
    5. I HATE Tyler Perry movies/shows…his productions are an insult to people’s intelligence…
    6. She’s prolly gonna come outta the rafters and black-ball me from all economic enterprise…but…I don’t like Oprah…
    7. I have a passport (w/ stamps in it ;-)
    8. I have more books than CD’s, DVD’s, and video games combined
    9. I don’t believe in women being the “head of a household”
    10. I work out, run/jog, and have a gym membership
    11. I’ve never worn “urban” designers…and most of them disgust me, b/c they would NEVER EVER wear any of the horrible crap they sell to the mainstream (I’m talking to you, Kimora and Beyonce!!!)
    12. I have a J.D.
    13. I’m 26 and I have no children
    14. I’ve never drank Hennesy or Crown Royale (blech to brown liquor in general)
    15. I speak fluent Spanish and don’t have ANY Latina lineage (maybe that makes me Mexican…TX WAS once Mexico ;-) #borderfail

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  131. -I’ve NEVER put acrylic on my nails(looks tacky imo)
    -My family doesn’t drink liquid diabetes, better known as kool aid.

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  132. Based on this list, I might not be black. Damnit…

    I’ve never liked Good Times. I only saw one episode and it was the one where Penny’s mom burns her w/ the iron. I was completely traumatized. Never watched again.

    I don’t know any people in Pittsburgh at all. I heard that place sucks so I guess that’s ok…(sorry champ)

    I also hate Tyler Perry movies. mostly because there’s always a 46 minute sermon smack in the middle of the movie and Shamar Moore is clearly homochexual.

    I’d like to add that I’ve never seen Menace to Society.

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  133. Pingback: Uncivil « Wreckless Endangerment

  134. I am laughing so hard at this – there are, like, 600 black folks out there who haven’t done all of the things I haven’t done/don’t like to do. The media would be shocked.
    1) I haven’t had Kool Aid since the mid-90s.
    2) I don’t like Good Times. Never did.
    3) I like only one Tyler Perry movie, but I don’t think he intended for “Family That Preys” to be a comedy. I sure did laugh all the way through that mug.
    4) I LOVE rock music.
    5) I can dive and swim full lengths in a pool.

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  135. Wow! This list has me in tears.

    I am 29 going on 30. Have no children, have never seen the Color Purple, Kanye West ist he only rap I own, do not understand Notorious BIG and why he’s so great. I also no longer find Friday to be funny, just a horribly depressing movie about life in the inner city, which is where I’m from and why I don’t find Friday to be funny anymore.

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  136. for all you non-40 drinkers….
    you’ve missed out on Edward 40-hands…..

    RULES:

    1.) ducktape 40s to both hands of birthday boy/ girl/ person celebrating that wants to get “white boy wasted”

    2.) enjoy. (they w

    Reply ↓

  137. *de-lurking*

    i hope y’all know that i’m desperately trying to keep quiet while reading this post at ye olde job!

    my “black card” got revoked the day i discovered blondie, joan jett and the ramones….LOL…but, here’s my list:

    - never worn a doo rag, WTFH?
    - no kids (and i’m 43….whodathunkit?)
    - never worn baby phat, fubu or any other so-called “urban” brand….(one caveat: i love ed hardy….but REFUSE to wear it head-to-toe!)
    - no weave (wore a wig once, due to “the haircut from hades”)
    - no fake nails
    - i abhor melons (unless they’re mine or my lady’s ;) )
    - i was a vegetarian for 5 years….to the ever-lovin’ chagrin of da fam!
    - i love 80s music (duran duran, the cure, eurhythmics, depeche mode) and rock in general (santana, zeppelin, rolling stones)….actually, i miss the 70s in a way because of all the mixing and creativity (war, sly & the family stone, etc.)
    - i have a MAD crush on robert downey, jr. (since 1983)
    - i wear mainly black clothing
    - i wear cowboy boots
    - i have ink that DOES NOT refer to “pooky” “ray ray” or “man man” (two pieces refer to greek lit)
    - i love to watch bbc america
    - i read books (and own many!)
    - i listen to classical (mozart is my homeskillet!)
    - i’m more twisted than a slinky….

    peace….

    *returns to lurking*

    Reply ↓

  138. LMAO!!! at this list! I have never drank a 40, though unfortunately, I have worn a doo-rag out. (I’m a female, I was 17-ish, and my momma almost killed me for it. Growing pains. It was only one time, and it was under a visor, I swear!)

    Not hard to believe you’ve never been to ATL–if you’re not Southern and don’t have family there, why would you have gone? Granted, it is the mecca of all things Black, but… just saying… lol.

    I’ve never been to Mississippi or Alabama… I don’t have rims on my car… I hate hot fries/hot cheetos/hot sausages/pickled eggs, etc.

    I don’t drive a Charger… I’m 23 with no babies… I don’t have a monroe piercing… ummm… there are too many stereotypes that are depressing me so I’m going to stop listing them lol.

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  139. -Im a vegetarian
    -Ive never watched Friday, Love and Basketball, Love Jones, etc
    -I dont know what The Good Times is
    - My parents both have doctorates
    -Watermelon is tasteless, my sister hates it even more than i do
    -Ive never been with a black guy (dont stone me! Im still waiting for my Kwame in shining armour)
    - Never been to a basement jam
    -Some of my favorite musicians are Imogen Heap, Bat For Lashes, Cat Power, Tegan and Sara, etc
    -I have zero clue on how to play spades/dominoes
    -I attend a predominantly white school
    - I dont know anyone whos ever been shot
    - Ive never had acrylics or fake nails, dont plan on it either
    -Ive always worn my real hair
    -Never been drunk
    -Im a good swimmer
    -Im a literature buff, do not speak ebonics or anything of the sort
    -Im trilingual
    -Never smoked
    -Never had a close black friend
    -Im slender and I dont have a big ol’ booty
    -IM NOT HOMOPHOBIC. Half my friends are gay and I tend to dabble
    -Ive never owned Jordans
    -Ive never lived in the hood
    -I like to consider my self a quasi-fashion connoisseur. And baby phat, akademiks, etc is not in my closet vocabulary
    -My mother would have beat the shit out of me if i didnt decide to go to university
    -Ive lived in 4 different countries
    I cant dance :( Its highly embarassing

    REDEMPTION;
    I love Aaliyah, Maxwell, and Jay Z. :|

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  142. I’m always on time and I hate being late.
    I love to swim.
    I love Journey (not sure if that really falls into this post cuz Journey is awesome and everybody likes them).
    I’m also late 20′s with no kids.
    I’ve never seen Menace to Society.

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  143. 1. The word “Swag” and phrase “No Homo” are not in my vocabulary
    2. never played “Hide and Go Get It” as a child (But i wish i had).
    3. Never have held the line up at the grocery by buying over $397.00 worth of cookies, ramen noodles, vienna sausage, bologna, snacks, orange punch, soda, baby formula, and hot pockets, and charged it all on an EBT Card
    4. Have never ordered a “Hennessy Margarita” before at the bar…And don’t forget the lime a salt….True story, I actually had to make that for one of customers a few weeks ago….smh..Classic “dis nigga here” moments…And if they don’t like it, u know whats next “Send it back!”
    5. In 1990 I didn’t have a High top gumby fade with a rat tail, In 2000 i didn’t have braids or dreads, In 2010 i do not have a mo-hawk or a kanye west shag
    6. Never wore the extra extra tall long white T’s
    7. Don’t live within 5 minutes of a Church’s Chicken
    8. Graduated from college..a non HBCU at that
    9. Never tried Pickled Pigs feet or Pickled Pigs lips
    10. Never danced the bunny-hop, cupid shuffle, the bus-stop, or the electric slide (although I sure as hell will learn them)
    11. Not one tattoo on my body
    12. Never saw a Tyler Perry Movie
    13. I do not own the movies “Scarface” or “Friday”
    14. Not one Liquor store in the city i live in
    15. Water melon makes me gag..however, water melon Now N’ Laters and Bubble Yum go FED!!!!!
    16. My favorite shows to watch on TV are East Bound & Down, the Office, and Rome ……. rather than Martin (reruns), The Game, Tiny and Toya, or Tyler Perry House of Payne
    17. I would rather see Red Hot Chillie Peppers in concert than Jay-Z
    18. I like and listen to the Roots (no seriously, its amazing how I can only count one hand the amount of black people I know that can actually name at least one roots song….and damn near all of the white people I know not only listen to the Roots but have more than likely seen them live as well)
    19. I rock my fresh designer frames outside during the day, when itz sunny..rather than at a pitch black nightclub
    20. Never dated a chick with a lace front, weave, Blond Mo-Hawk, or Amber Rose cut….(Although I have done extensions though and I am open minded about weaves)
    21. I or any of my male relatives do not have the name Jamal, Tyrone, Jermaine, Jerome, or Le’Roy
    22. I tip 20% when I dine out
    23. Late 20′s no illegitimate children
    24. Have never failed a drug test
    25. Not on probation or parole and I am registered to vote

    Reply ↓

  145. the list below has made my friends ask for my Black Card a time or two
    1. I do not like Aretha Franklin
    2. though I’ve seen (a few times actually) the movies The Color Purple and Waiting to Exhale, I can’t stand them but will watch them with friends to keep the peace
    3. seen Scarface only once but haven’t seen ANY of the Godfather movies
    4. I don’t like Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson and would prefer Clark Howard and Anderson Cooper over them any day
    5. I don’t like the movies Training Day or John Q (my personal favorite D. Washington movie is Man on Fire)
    5. if there is a movie I’m interested in that has a book of the same title I’d rather read the book before seeing the movie
    6. I’ve never smoked a day in my life
    7. I do not think Halle Berry is the prettiest woman in the world, she’s average to me
    8. I can’t stand Vivica Fox or Gabby Union
    9. I do not know how to play Spades or any card game similar (my friends overlook this one partly b/c I will watch them play)
    10. not a fan of hot sauce, peppers, hot wings (plain is my friend)
    11. *not really sure if this is a ‘black’ thing or not* but I DESPISE porn and refuse to watch it

    there are more I’m sure but these are the most recent violations of my blackness according to those who “know” me

    Reply ↓

  146. Wow…well, I can relate to you in way, mostly with the movie stuff…

    “I’ve never seen Love Jones, Love and Basketball, The Golden Child, The Last Dragon, The Wood, Booty Call, Hav Plenty, and anything Tyler Perry. I finally watched The Color Purple”

    I’ve only seen a few of those movies (in snippets) and honestly, I don’t care enough to watch any of them in their entirety.

    I only met one black person who actually loves Crash Bandicoot the way I do…ain’t that sad?

    I never liked “Do The Right Thing”…fuck that stupid movie…

    I don’t smoke and rarely drink…

    I hate BET

    I find playing video games, reading books, cartoons, and being silly to be more interesting than that coon channel.

    Reply ↓

    • I hate chilitins
      I have very little interest in religion
      I don’t like Scarface and to this day I don’t understand the appeal
      I’m still a virgin (as of now at the age of 19)
      I find Churches Chicken to be nasty
      I find Menace 2 Society to be a stupid movie
      Friday and Next Friday were terrible movies, IMO
      I don’t care much for today’s Hip Hop/R&B
      The only Rock music I like is mostly from the 70s/80s.
      I find 70s R&B to more entertaining than 90s R&B (which really doesn’t sound any different from today’s R&B…)
      I Hate SpongeBob
      I sometimes prefer Foreign music…

      As much as I like Mj, especially when he was with the Jackson 5, I always thought Prince was better.

      I no longer like McDonalds ( I stopped eating there 4 months ago)
      I have never been to a club.
      I think I’m one of the very few Black people who actually can’t stand family guy (there was a time back in ’05 in which I did like that show but now I know better)

      I hate weaves
      I love Jeff Goldblum and Raul Julia

      Reply ↓

      • hate chitlins too

        Family Guy and the Boondocks do not appeal to me (neither does American Dad but I don’t know anyone who actually watches that)

        I’ve never seen a full episode of In Living Color

        just like the show Martin, the Wayans Bros. show didn’t appeal to me that much but oddly enough I find Marlon Wayans hilarious

        I have a relationship with God but not necessarily a relationship with the pews at church (hadn’t been to one since day one of 2010)

        25 and still in possession of my virginity though that’s changing soon

        I go to Churches for their biscuits but they’ve been slack lately on them
        Friday was the best of all the Friday movies and I think it was b/c Chris Tucker was in it

        McDonald’s has some of the best fries I think and I like their oreo mcflurrys, everything else there I can do without

        I love listening to the music that my parents grew up on

        My favorite comedians are Roy Wood Jr and Finesse Mitchell though I will watch Kevin Hart and Katt Williams

        Reply ↓

        • Chiltins are so nasty…whenever my Grandmother cooks it, I feel nauseous.

          The Boondocks is okay (I prefer the comic strip though) American Dad bores me.

          I like In Living Color, reminds me of Mad TV

          I find the Wayans Bros to be more interesting than Martin.

          I’m a Deist but other than that, I don’t get involved in (un)organized religion. I also don’t believe in the the Bible or Jesus.

          Hooray for virgins!

          I never liked Friday movies…never made too much sense to me.

          McDonalds, as a whole, I can do without.

          The music my Parents and grandmother listen to is cool with me.

          And Kevin Hart reminds of a short Chris Tucker.

          Reply ↓

  147. @SuperTobex123

    It’s amazing how many awkward looks I get when someone black asks me if I’ve seen a certain so-called “black” movie (Dead Presidents, Poetic Justice some movie about drinking your juice in the hood, etc) and I say no. If I had no interest in the movie back when it came out, I probably won’t have any interest in it now.

    If Ludacris isn’t going to be on BET, I’m not watching it

    and please don’t get me started on all the rappers I have absolutely no interest in (Drake, Kanye West, etc)

    I love reading, watching the good cartoons, laughing and watching my friends play their video games

    I don’t know how to dance but I have rhythm and people seem to think they are on in the same, they are not.
    I will go to the club to hang out with friends but I won’t really dance unless it’s with a male I know and trust.

    offering to buy me a drink at the bar will NOT work b/c I’m not a drinker
    I watch Martin but don’t really like it, I don’t like (or watch) Good Times, the Jeffersons, etc. Living Single on the other hand, is my show lol

    I hate the words “swag” and “hater” and feel some kind of way that “swagger” was on my 7yo cousin’s vocab. list

    Reading and writing calms me (music does too but it has to be either Christmas music or Luda’s music I hear when I need to calm down)

    I have never worn a weave or wig, never had a ponytail that didn’t grow from my own head.

    I don’t wear fake nails either (my real ones are long enough) and I don’t have to get loud and ghetto in order to get my point across

    oh and the big one, I don’t like shopping unless it’s for a baby

    Reply ↓

    • Don’t feel bad, I have also gotten those looks many times before…oh and I have never seen Dead Presidents.

      I can deal with Ludacris but I wouldn’t even bother with BEt even if he and Kanye were on there.

      Kanye and Luda are the only rappers I like nowadays

      Yes to cartoons and video games

      I suck at dancing…I look like a weirdo

      I don’t like watching Martin or The Jeffersons, but Good Times and Living Single is cool

      I hate “Swag” and “Shawty” eww…and LOL@ your 7 year old cousins Vocab list.

      I just like to Read, i can’t express myself very well in writing.

      Unfortunately I have worn weave before, but I also hated it and plus I was made fun of for wearing it even though 95% of the girls in my high school wore it everyday, I’m natural now.

      I don’t like fake nails either and I rarely get extremely anger or even emote emotions in my voice (I’m a monotone person in real life).

      LOL I never liked shopping unless it was for books, video games, food, or art supplies.

      Reply ↓

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