Pop Culture, Race & Politics, Theory & Essay

Black America’s Secret Shame

As we all know, February is Black History Month. For the record, I’m not one of those people who complain that somehow Black history coincides with the shortest month of the year. Frankly, I don’t give a damn. It’s not like we (and by we, I mean those Black folks who complain that Black History Month is the shortest month of the year) really commemorate Black achievements all day everyday anyway. Besides, it used to be Black History WEEK, so I look at it like this…

…we got 21 more days to complain that America doesn’t do enough to celebrate Black achievements and accomplishments!

BAZINGA!

Anyway, being as its Black people month, and being as that I’m Black, I see it only fitting that I dedicate some posts in February to Black topics. Its gonna be on and poppin’. As well it should be since Black folks often get it on and poppin’ with things such as the bottle formerly known as Cristal, thongs, pills, and basketball. One could say we are a poppalicious people, though I prefer the bootylicious nature of Black women. And I don’t care how much you hate Beyonce, “Bootylicious” (written and produced/co-produced/conceived by Beyonce) was a great moment in Black history. Honestly…with lyrics like, “I don’t think you’re ready/for this jelly”, how could it not progress Black society. Kids everywhere were running around embarassing the sh*t out of us folks that can read talking about being bootylicious. Hell, even WHITE girls got into the act, further making me want to kill myself.

Okay, I swear that there is a point in there somewhere.

Ah yes, Black America’s secret shame. There are different kinds of Black folks out there. I know, shocker. Many have tried to paint Black people with one brush and say that we are all one and the burdens of my brother are my burdens. And I used to believe that until a strange thing happened one day. Can you guess what it was? Go ahead, take a gander.

*singing “I’m sexy and I know it”*

Done guessing?? Good. What happened to me was that I learned how to read.

*gasp*

That might sound messed up, but fret not, it gets worse. When I learned to read, a whole new world opened up to me. Butterfly’s in the sky, hell, I could fly twice as high like Aladdin and Jasmine! The older I’ve gotten and the more I’ve read, the more things have changed. Over time, I learned to not be afraid of information and actually seek it out causing me to do things that other Black men didn’t do like…go to college. Or even graduate. No Kanye.

So it was in this new world with new knowledge I obtained from reading new sh*t that I started to notice the differences between Black people. And just to be purposefully offensive, I’ll state some of the differences I noticed:

Some Black folks worked, some didn’t.

Some lived in suburbs, some lived in projects.

Some tried to assimilate into white society, some acted like assholes in public…almost seeming to be on purpose.

Some were reserved, some are just loud.

These are just a few of the differences. But that last one is the one that stands out to me. It brought to my attention and epiphanized a strange phenomenon in the Black community. It would seem that Black America’s Secret Shame is…

…hold on…

…it’s coming…

…wait for it…

…Black people.

Yes. Black people. Black American’s are secretly ashamed of other Black people. I know. It’s one of the most fucked up things you’ve ever heard. I hear you looking at me crazy. But it’s true. Black people that can read and write, and have gardens to tend, and garages that actually house cars, and have the OPTION to live amongst white people are ashamed of other Black people.

[***DISCLAIMER: These are fun, I swear. Which Black people am I talking about that are ashamed of other Black people??? You ninja. Yes you, the Black person that is reading this right now instead of in the projects affectionately known as WorldStarHipHop. The Black person who reads and writes. F*ck that, the Black person who ENJOYS reading. Yes, you. Does it sound elitist? Yes it does…but here’s the test: if you have at any point in your existence, been somewhere, and an unruly group of Black youth have come into your presence and you cringed and/or uttered the word “n*ggas” under your breath…then this means you. Mmkay pumpkin?***]

Believe you me, it’s true. It’s a sad reality yet one that exists. Take for instance young Black folks on subway systems across America. Now those youth don’t care about being loud and obnoxious. Hell, it’s what kids do. However, you care. You wonder to yourself , why the hell they won’t shut up. Then you do scan the audience the kids have attracted. You scan the white faces for disapproval, and then you scan the Black faces for disgust.

For some reason, both the Black and white people are upset at the ungodly display of the youths. White folks will just have their notions reinforced, and Black folks will be afraid that the white folks are having their notions reinforced. And somewhere shame comes into the picture. Black folks start to think, “dammit, why won’t they just act right, they are making us all look bad. F*ckin’ cockaroaches!”

You have experienced…honest to goodness…

…shame.

Shame for fear that those Black folks who aren’t like you are setting us normal Black folks back years and years. It is that same shame that occurs when you take a ghetto member of your family out with you who then proceeds to act a damn fool on purpose, proving why they are the ghetto member of your family.

But you know what, they are ashamed of you too.

Sometimes they are trying to prove a point, too. The point may be that you aren’t any better than they are. And they are just as ashamed because they feel like you sold out when they remember when you all used to sleep three to a bed. They are ashamed, and thus shaming your bougie ass into realizing that you aren’t any better than they are. Hmm, ironic isn’t it. The better off we are, the more reminders we get from folks who aren’t so well off that we ain’t sh*t and didn’t come from sh*t.

Differences.

I’m not judging nor looking down on anybody. I’ve done more than my fair share in both worlds. As far as I’m concerned we all came from nothing. Essentially, I love all my Black peoples. EXCEPT those ignant somebodies who feel the need to make me look bad so that they don’t look bad by themselves. Crabs in a barrel are a b*tch. And it is those Black folks who draw my ire time and time again. The ones who are ashamed but secretly jealous of the Black folks who are doing well because those Black folks are sellouts and have no place in the hood. Those Black folks who are ashamed of other Black folks success because they don’t have it.

But it goes the other way too. Those Black folks who are educated and well to do, who are ashamed of their lower income brothers and sisters who may not have had the same opportunities that they’ve had. The ones who turn their noses up at less privileged Blacks with no provocation. The ones who talk about the ghetto without ever having been to the ghetto or lived there. The ones who laugh when some of us drink Kool-Aid. Hell, the ones who don’t realize that “red” is a flavor, and judge Black folks who know that it indeed is a flavor. Basically, Black folks who have the time to castigate other Black folks because they’ve made it and refuse to accept that making it where you’ve made it wasn’t solely on your own merit. Sometimes, folks believed in you enough to not let you fail. And it’s those folks that refuse to recognize or accept that, who are ashamed of lower income Black folks and their lot in life. Those Black folks piss me off too.

And there you have it. Black America’s secret shame is other Black people. From rich to poor, we are all ashamed of one another for reasons that are beyond me that will continue to keep us down. Sometimes we show out for white folks by showing them how comfortable they should be around us. We have a term for that…selling out. And sometimes we show out for white folks to show them that we don’t give a sh*t about them, except what we’re doing is furthering their own beliefs that Black folks have no damn sense anyway and are all useless. We have a term for this too…being a dbag. And they all lead to the same end…shame from some other member of the Black race.

And this is why we won’t make it as a people…and you know what…

…it’s a damn shame.

Ain’t it?

What say you?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. SUPER B.A.S.S. aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

For the DC heads, its time again for another edition of REMINISCE! at Liv Nightclub this Saturday, February 4th, 2012 from 930pm til 3am. It’s all 90s everything and anybody who has been will tell you this party is a motherf*cking monster. It’s FREE BEFORE 11PM WITH RSVP ($10 after) (click the link to RSVP), OPEN BAR FROM 930-1030PM (doors open earlier b/c people keep showing up MAD early) and no dress code. Supa Qool DJ Quartermaine on the 1s and 2s. Come on out and we’ll see you on Saturday night! Peep the FB event here!

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Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • Mo-VSS

    I’m ashamed of women who have multiple kids with multiple men. Not like two kids by two different men over a ten year time span. That sh*t happens. But, the woman who has 4 or 5 or 6 kids and each of those kids has a different father. There is not any reason for anyone to have that many kids and just as many fathers. Oh…and this isn’t gender biased. I hate those men with just as many mothers to their kids as the number of kids they have.

    Is that elitist? Maybe. But I don’t care. It’s hard enough being a two parent household or co-parenting with someone you’re not with any longer. Add 3 or 4 other folks to the mix and it’s disasterous. Don’t think these folks exist. I have former friends and some family members who fit the description, so it’s not like I have a “not in my house, nose-turned-up, outsider” perspective.

    Loud, obxious folks don’t bother me too much. I’m sure my friends and I were once that excited about life and loudly proclaiming it to anyone within earshot. The thing I hate is that when a group of “us” is loud and wrong, it’s reflected back on all of us (at least that’s what I’ve been told…by other black folks…I wonder if that is really what white folks think, but I digress…) but let a group of “them” come along doing the same thing, it’s just THEM…not all white folk. I’ll be very happy when we can be looked at less as of a collective and more as individuals.

    I’m sure I’ll die before that happens though…

    • Mo-VSS

      Actually, I do have a “not in my house, nose-turned-up, outsider” perspective.

      I don’t care. Not too many things I take a stand on, but multiple kids (more than 2) with multiple partners bothers the hell out of me.

    • Pe. Riche.

      I have to agree with you. One of my pet peeves is a woman or man with multiple children, by multiple partners, and no true means to take care of said offspring.

      But I also know that I didn’t become that type of woman because I had a mother who was nosey and made sure she minded my business when I was a teenager. I always had someone there to guide me and to help me. Some people don’t. I’m saying it’s an excuse, because there are some people who didn’t have shit, yet still managed to make it out of their circumstances. However, sometimes we fall victim to what we have witnessed our entire lives. And if all you’ve seen as a child is grown women and men making a substantial amount of children and not caring for them, then the chances of you doing the same are equally as great.

    • Corey

      I’m halfway there with you Mo. I don’t feel ashamed though. I feel sad. Sometimes you look at a situation and (it might be wrong of me) I feel like those kids don’t even have a real chance of becoming productive people in life. That’s really the kind of thing that bothers me.

      • Chanelle

        “I feel like those kids don’t even have a real chance of becoming productive people in life.”
        I’ve felt this way often. I look at some children’s parents and I am instantly saddened that #1) they choose to have children and #2) they may pass along their mentality to those children who will become adults and possibly continue the cycle of ignorance.

        • LO

          That is my problem right there…the ignorance. I really hope and pray that all children have a positive influence in their life to mentor and guide them….to show them that they can do better and be more. They can break the cycle of ignorance. We don’t get to choose our parents and they didn’t get to choose theirs. Some adults have no business reproducing. Some people grow up to be such a waste of an x or y chromosome….

    • http://Thisistip.wordpress.com ThisisTip

      I agree 100% with the multiple baby mamas/daddys. They are the reason that people look at me in shock when I tell them Im over 30 and don’t have kids.

      Plus I feel bad for the children. It has to be hard to deal with.

      I know a guy who has 5 kids by 4 women (yes there’s a set of twins) and i think he really believes he’s a good father. I had to tell him there is no way you can be a good father to 5 kids in 2-3 different states. Even if you provide financially you can’t possibly be there for all of them. You can’t be at everyone’s Christmas dinner, basketball game or soccer practice. .

      • Kay

        Yes I have a right to be ashamed of behavior I didn’t grow up with. I have a right to be embarrassed by black males calling themselves niggers. I have a right to be emabrrased about rarely meeting a man without kids in his 20’s. Or to be embarrassed about women with 4 kids in tow by themselves and OOW. Or about the prison rates for an already small minority.

      • Trimas313

        Try being a 24 yr old black man with people being amazed i don’t have kids yet. That is what’s so scary nowadays is that its pretty much the accepted norm in the black community to have a kid pretty much right after High school. I can honestly say that i’m one of the last few people out of my graduating class that has not had a kid yet.

    • Rewind

      Can’t figure out these birds who want treatment like a new born virgin but let every dude in the hood treat her like a bust it baby, with the kids to prove it.

      Obviously color has nothing to do with that set up because it happens to many races, but obviously Black people take that ignorance to a whole new level and I can’t ever see it changing.

    • http://www.twitter.com/abrock3000 BmoreCreative

      having multiple kids by multiple baby fathers aka…”Baduism”

      • Pretty Primadonna

        tee hee…

      • rayvenone

        Baduism….well seems to me that people like Badu AND Ms. Hill can afford those kids they make without my tax money.

    • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay-d-lady

      Mo-VSS on 02/03/2012 at 1:14 am said:
      I’m ashamed of women who have multiple kids with multiple men. Not like two kids by two different men over a ten year time span. That sh*t happens. But, the woman who has 4 or 5 or 6 kids and each of those kids has a different father. There is not any reason for anyone to have that many kids and just as many fathers. Oh…and this isn’t gender biased. I hate those men with just as many mothers to their kids as the number of kids they have.

      I can understand that I dotn think I am ashamed to them but as someone stated above i am sad.. but what makes me upset is that a lot of the things only apply if it happens to people in the hood.. cause Erykah badu got just as many kids as she got baby daddies and people hold her up up to the highest of high.
      and I love me some Erykah but.. come on now..

      • Eve

        I think having kids with any amount of daddies is terrible when you cannot afford to take care of them, or don’t do the work to be a parent. It’s not “better” to have 3 kids with one dad if he is a bum bitch. If a woman adopted 3 children that were not biological siblings, she’d have three kids who have 3 different daddies, and no one would bat an eyelash.

        • nillalatte

          “It’s not “better” to have 3 kids with one dad if he is a bum bitch.”

          A-freaking-men. I approve this message as a mother with 3 with one man who ain’t shyt. I know I couldn’t handle 3 of them mofo’s.

        • Mo-VSS

          Adopting three kids is something ENTIRELY different. I guess the mindset that goes with having 3-4 kids with 3-4 different men is what I hate. If you plan to adopt, most would agree that they time, effort and money it takes to make that happen is something that is far different from laying down with multiple folks, not taking proper precautions and ending up pregnant or getting someone pregnant.

          • TheTruth

            Let’s not forget the absent black male who only knows not like Bo…..making double even triple-digit-mega kids…..We can’t expect black moraility when we have baby daddies who are not attributes. The black culture must have the father’s presence to nourish, stimulate and empower HIS kids for their spiritual and mental growth. Making child(ren) the biggest investment after God is the the wholeness for a systematic youth, society and world. To have proper perspective amongst the black culture, we have to start with the missing puzzle…fathers manning up to be daddies.

      • Mo-VSS

        I am not discriminate. Any woman or man, hood-based or not, who falls into this category gets the side eye from me. Race, class, etc, Don’t care. It’s all bothersome as hell to me.

    • http://www.bellesandgentssociety.com Myssdee

      That is my biggest shame of my brothers and sisters within the black community. I understand ish happens but after three kids with 3 different men/women, you have to wonder “what the h-e-double hockeysticks is going on?”.

      What kills me the most is that some women think that just because the baby father buys their child the latest Nike sneaker or some Name-brand outfit baby gift set they get at Dr. Jays that what makes them a great father which really shames me the most. It’s the attitudes that I be encountering that just cringes my nerves.

    • Emenanjo Nwadiei

      I don’t necessarily hate the women with 6 different kids from 6 different fathers. I only dislike those women who say the most stupid paragraph in spoken language, “I don’t need no man! I’m da mama and the daddy! I can take care of my 6 kids by myself!”

    • Smoke

      I agree with you to a certain point, folks have to do a better job with knowing who they are in a relationship with before bringing children into the world. I will not even get on the one-night-stand, I don’t know who my baby daddy is chick or the It ain’t mine irresponsible cat. The is a whole separate email. We have to educate next generations on being socially responsible and have some pride in themselves and be accountable for their actions. We need more thinking before humping. Boys need to step up and be a man if your get her pregnant, girls keep your legs closed until you have an education and a plan B.

    • black

      The thing I hate is that when a group of “us” is loud and wrong, it’s reflected back on all of us (at least that’s what I’ve been told…by other black folks… that why we don’t get along now because of stupid comments like the one above, get a life whok cause white people do it all the time and all we say is oh their white its ok dummy go fuck urself…..

  • Mel – The Bone Collector

    I’m so guilty of being ashamed of the “other” Black people. BUT I am not shamed for being ashamed

    *shrug*

    **I’m bourgeois and I know it**

    • http://Thisistip.wordpress.com ThisisTip

      +1

      • GirlSixx

        +2, 3, 4 and beyond……..

    • http://themadblackhatter.blogspot.com/ madblackhatter

      Ditto. I’m bourgeois and I know it. I too get ashamed but mainly ashamed of stupidity and ignorance. I’m not ashamed of loud kids … they are just irritating. I’m sure I was a loud, obnoxious teen. I’m not ashamed of poor blacks. That’s just their circumstances. I’m ashamed by stupid choices like 6 kids, all with different fathers. I’m ashamed that many blacks in the community don’t give a f*** and they like it that way. The last thing they want to be perceived as is “selling out” or being bourgeois. I’m ashamed with that ignorant mindset. And I’m proud to say I’m ashamed because I have higher expectations.

    • Mrs. Turner

      You CAN’T be bourgeois with weave in your hair.

      • black

        the personal terms bourgeois (masculine) and bourgeoise (feminine) culturally identify the man or woman who is a member of the wealthiest social class of a given society.. please people know what ur talking about before u post thanks dummy…..

  • LadyLark

    mmkay…It’s late and I’m ’bout to head on over 2 da pj’s priviously mentioned… as they are the dang devil…

  • LadyLark

    n Yes I meant privy (or outhouse)

  • nodramacici

    I’m guilty of feeling ashamed. I hate loud as teenagers! I was riding on the bus one day and 4 loud-ass, unruly black teenagers cursed this lady out for looking at them wrong. If they weren’t so damn loud she wouldn’t have been looking at them. But, of course, the rest of the adults on the bus, including me, sat idly by and didnt say anything. Hell, who wants to get beaten up by teenagers after a long days of work.

    • http://edotreed.blogspot.com E. Reed

      Loud Black teens do not embarass, but they sure as hell piss me the f*** off when they play their music on the train with no ear phones.

      I seriously think all young niggas under the age of 21 are allergic to headphones.

      And I cant understand why they wish to recite the lyrics to whatever ratchet ass song they are listening at the top of their lungs.

      I usually try to keep my peace, vut once after a long, terrible day of work I did snatch a phone and take their battery out…..

      A nigga moment almost popped off, but that 60 hour work-week stress on my face helped me win the stare-off with the young dude lol

      • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

        Yeah I’m with E.Reed. Loud teenagers don’t embarrass me (I don’t get easily embarrassed) but they definitely piss me off. And deliberately loud adults also piss me off. It’s one thing if you’re just a loud person–you talk loud, laugh loudly, because it’s natural for you. Hell, I’m half Puerto Rican. We talk like we’re singing and we sing loudly. It’s a geographical thing. I’m half Dominican. My dad is college educated and still talks like he’s in the piñita waiting for the town to finally have a phone. But adults who are loud on purpose in order to draw attention to themselves and have people listen to their convos piss me the hell off! Like shut up! We can tell you’re doing it on purpose. You keep looking at us for our reactions.

        • http://vanityinperil.com Vanity in Peril

          The comment about your dad made me almost do a green tea spit take! I am right here with you though. It’s like the people are saying “yeah I’m loud and I don’t care about anybody else’s comfort level” which is fine I guess if it were not for the fact that these are also some of the most sensitive people on the planet when the Nike is on the other foot.

      • nillalatte

        “I usually try to keep my peace, vut once after a long, terrible day of work I did snatch a phone and take their battery out…..”

        You know, those moments are what I enjoy the most! Someone bold enough to snap up a youngster (of their own race or not) and set em straight. It takes a village. Good job. BTW, I call ‘em types out all the time no matter what color they are. I ain’t one of those old prude white people that just gives you the eye and looks annoyed.

    • GypsyCurl

      Yesterday, my meek/mild Chinese friend and fellow PhD student was robbed by a group of black guys at his apartment complex located in detroit.

      • SpottieOttieDarlin

        and how did that make you feel? …upon hearing they were black?

        • GypsyCurl

          *Putsfaceinpalm* ASHAMED!!!!!! (Also, resentful and angry)

    • black

      hell the white people did it for years but they killed us instead, but i guess that alrite

  • anechoic

    While you’re not wrong (whenever I see a headline about some stupid shit, my first reaction is “please don’t be black, please don’t be black”), I’m just afraid that the twenty-something white male demographic that makes up the Reddit readership are going to point to this post as evidence that it’s okay to use the word “nigger” to separate the “good” black people from the “bad” black people. Sigh.

    • Kenyadigit

      Gasp! Another Redditor? Out in the wild? This can’t be.

      Those guys over there can be so unintentionally racist it’s depressing.

    • DQ

      Ah… the “please don’t be black” prayer. I’ve done that one before. It went unanswered back during the DC sniper emergency. Not a banner moment for Black History. It’s weird how things can be said without being said. I remember when news broke that they had made an arrest, me and another black woman (who I didn’t know) were in a cafeteria watching the news conference, and looked at each other and just shook our heads like, “damn”.

      And of course of all of my white bretheren made a point of asking me, “hey did you hear they caught the snipers” with what can only be described as a subtle smirk, like, “yeah mf, y’all some serial killers too”.

      It hurt yo. It hurt.

      • http://www.twitter.com/abrock3000 BmoreCreative

        I knew them ninjas were black the minute the asked for some ransom money…..smh

      • cynicaloptmst81

        Yeah, that revelation hurt my heart, lol.

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        That was the LAST time I did the “Please don’t be black” prayer. After finding out it was a Black man and a Black male teenager he abused, I was too through. I retired that prayer.

      • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

        LOL I have the “please don’t be Latino/a” and the “please don’t be Muslim” prayer.

        • Deviant

          Right? I think the only people I don’t say “the prayer” for are whites and asians.

          I’m ashamed at my racism.

          • nillalatte

            Think again. I think everyone has a “please don’t be…. ” prayer.

          • Barbara

            Nah, white people have that prayer too. Whenever an incident happens where a black person or other person of color is the victim, white people all over secretly pray that the culprit isn’t white, because then the crime would appear racially motivated, and once again make them look like terrible racists. When Trayvon Martin was shot, for example, I was in the laundromat with my friend watching the news. When the newscaster announced that the shooter was white (which turned out to be debatable), I heard my white friend mutter “God dammit…” This is the same friend that once admitted to me that she thinks that a lot of white people work so hard at not being racist (because of the shame of their ancestors’ racism) that they unintentionally do come across as racist. Yeah, I get ashamed by what black people do at times, but I think white people can be pretty ashamed of their own kind too, even though they don’t like to show it. After all, a least we have a black history month and black organizations, anything like that for white people would, well, just be racist.

      • Justmetheguy

        ” “with what can only be described as a subtle smirk, like, “yeah mf, y’all some serial killers too”.

        hahahaha! Awwwww mayun! I laughed really hard for a while off of that one man lolol

        That was a hilarious picture you just painted for me lolol. It’s all good, you should make it a point to bring up to them same fools that Tom Brady had/has a baby mama that he was with before he married Gizelle. Ppl r just ppl. Nothing more, nothing less lol.

        • http://www.bellesandgentssociety.com Myssdee

          I still do this prayer sometimes…sighs

        • nillalatte

          +1 I def lol’d that one. But, you can’t take away from white people that whites hold the title for the most serial killers AND child molester’s! We won’t let you take that title! No! Oh, wait, wtf am I saying? Black folks can have it if you like! LOL It is a damn shame really. As for me, I was surprised the DC sniper was black, but knew that it wasn’t a Mujahideen. I figured a recluse white guy like Kaczynski.

      • Catherine

        I know this prayer all too well. I did it last summer when the Jewish boy in Brooklyn was kidnapped and murdered.

    • GirlSixx

      “While you’re not wrong (whenever I see a headline about some stupid shit, my first reaction is “please don’t be black, please don’t be black”), ”

      ME TOO!!!! *Dies*

      You would think I I hit the damn lottery or something upon my reaction when I see they are of a different race. #I’mRichBeyotch lolllll

      • GirlSixx

        “While you’re not wrong (whenever I see a headline about some stupid shit, my first reaction is “please don’t be black, please don’t be black”), ”

        ME TOO!!!! *wallslide*

        You would think I hit the lottery or something upon my reaction when I see they are of a different race. #Take That. Take That. (diddy’s voice)

        • GirlSixx

          please give me FREE.

    • MdotKev

      The “I hope they are black prayer” has been spoken by many….if not All black ppl at ONE point or another. I’m sorry its not embarrassment for me it more along the lines of I know you know better. I’m been there when I knew the stand up Teen that was making all this BS noise and when he saw me he hung his head…pulled him aside and asked why are you acting this way? NO Answer, yes some of them do it on purpose to simply prove a point, but in tooo many lives there is an event horizon that the teen simply CANNOT cross and then this simple rebellion could turn in to, he/she being with the group that just shot someone or mugged someone or worse and then this oh he is just doing it excuse will not fly the rest of your life is ruined.

      As a brotha that grew up in the ghetto…seeing cats blasted and dying in my front yard, but knowing the entire time how to act and WHY I should act that way. Yes I ran with a foolish crew sometimes but I ALWAYS had my head about me and got GHOST when fools started to act crazy, pullin guns and ghost riding just to scare ppl. Yep…I knew what was up…just like the majority of the kids today. As Adults we dont need to just SMH at them or give them a disgusted look…we must…WE MUST confront them and force them to explain themselves.

  • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

    “Add to the Negro intelligentsia who have no firm cultural base in the reality of either the black world or the white (even when they have achieved recognition), a large fluctuating contingent who make up the bulk of new aspirants to integrated cultural achievement. The result: a rootless class of displaced persons who are refugees from the social poverty of the black world. At one time, the black world was rich in the pristine artistic essentials for new forms in music, dance, song, theater and even language; then, the black ethnic identity was seen as a unique advantage. But today the style has become a negation of that identity, in pursuit of cultural integration or assimilation. Today the failure of the black bourgeoisie as a class, to play any social role as patron or sponsor of the arts, is all the more glaring. For now the new Negro cultural aspirants are making vocal and specified demands for integration in cultural fields where the black bourgeoisie has never paid the piper, and therefore can call no tunes.” — excerpt from Harold Cruse’s The Crisis of the Negro Intellectual chapter Role of the Negro Intellectual—Survey of the Dialogue Deferred

    • Mo-VSS

      Love it!

    • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      And this is why you need to be secure in where you come from. So many people think that the second their “Blackness” comes out, they’ll have the police called on them to march them back to the ghetto. Maybe it’s just me in New York, where White people will identify as Italian or Jewish or whatever else first, but having an ethnic identity is definitely a positive good. I’m not saying act a fool or disrespect the cultural norms you live in, but as the quote says, being rootless is worse than being “ghetto” in the long run.

      • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

        “And this is why you need to be secure in where you come from.”

        ESPECIALLY in New York, Todd. I don’t think I would have made it in this city if I wasn’t secure about my background. I would have been eaten alive.

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        I agree.

    • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

      :-)

    • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay-d-lady

      Add to the Negro intelligentsia who have no firm cultural base in the reality of either the black world or the white (even when they have achieved recognition), a large fluctuating contingent who make up the bulk of new aspirants to integrated cultural achievement. The result: a rootless class of displaced persons who are refugees from the social poverty of the black world. At one time, the black world was rich in the pristine artistic essentials for new forms in music, dance, song, theater and even language; then, the black ethnic identity was seen as a unique advantage. But today the style has become a negation of that identity, in pursuit of cultural integration or assimilation. Today the failure of the black bourgeoisie as a class, to play any social role as patron or sponsor of the arts, is all the more glaring. For now the new Negro cultural aspirants are making vocal and specified demands for integration in cultural fields where the black bourgeoisie has never paid the piper, and therefore can call no tunes.” — excerpt from Harold Cruse’s The Crisis of the Negro Intellectual chapter Role of the Negro Intellectual—Survey of the Dialogue Deferred

      I love this.. I am going to post this as my facebook status

    • Allidaughter

      Atta boy Malik.. love me some readin men and women. And after Cruse we come to Fanon. Naming the source of shame helps..but can you do anything withit?
      **hardwalk down 125th St with a saxophone case**

  • SweetSass

    Everyone has this moment but you move past it. You eventually realize what is going on in your head is the internalized izms that have you even worrying about what white people think. The ones who are racists were racist before they met a black person and would still be after they met a perfect, Black Superman a.k.a Obama, (see how dirty he gets treated.) Aside; Wayne Brady… universally liked? History’s mysteries.

    I don’t have time for shame… righteous anger at injustice takes enough of my energy.

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      I agree; I’m usually amused when I notice my own stereotypes and preconceptions about about other black people, especially, are proven wrong.

    • http://twitter.com/SoulaPowa Soula Powa

      Yeah, I want to get where SweetSass is.

      Last 4th of July, these 4 brothers got on the completely packed Metro (#DMV Chillin) and 2 were talking about how the were gonna fight each other as soon as they got off the train all loud. Looking like they wouldn’t bust a grape in a food fight. I knew they were fronting and still I was all embarrassed.

      I’m getting better with it though. Progress.

  • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

    Dope post Snowboard P. I was going to bomb this with Harold Cruse quotes. I’ll just do 3 instead.

    The quote below and conversations I’ve had in real life among those within the Black Diaspora are reasons I have been irked or hated Black people. The sneering non-US Blacks to us bothers me to end.

    “During the 1950’s in the Greenwich Village interracial scene, it was noted that certain West Indian males formed themselves into a semi-exclusive social club from which camp they competed with American Negro males for the favors of white women (mostly Jewish).The West Indian women on the scene were hardly ever seen at this club’s functions, for the usually consorted with white men, as did most of the American Negro women. Most of the West Indian men were ever alert to emphasize that they were “not American Negroes.” The West Indian women, though fewer in number, reacted similarly, and one remarked, “You Negroes have contributed nothing to the United States but jazz music.” When asked what the West Indians had contributed to the British Empire aside from calypso and labor—both slave and cheap—she replied, “Oh, that’s different.”

    • Iceprincess

      Rite! People from the islands are some of the most racist against american blacks. Africans too. They look down on “african-americans” big time with their arrogant azz attitude.

      • Corey

        While I got some cool African and West Indian homies I’m going to have to go ahead and ride with this comment if only in the general sense.

        • DQ

          Sadly I have to as well. The funny thing is, in America… a n!gg@ is a n!gg@ when they’re getting pulled over by the cops. Doesn’t matter if you went to law school, or community college, racism will back slap the taste out of every negroid mouth.

      • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

        Being West Indian and African-American, I get it coming and going. Since both groups assume I identify more with them than the other side, I get to hear the ugliness from both, and it’s a shame.

        • Kema

          I’m right there with you… Jamaican father…

          Really no matter what side you are on you are going to have something to say about the other.

      • http://wewereninjas.wordpress.com Jay

        Don’t get me started on Ethiopians… they are some of the most elitist black people on the face of the earth. Living in Atlanta, which has a sizable Ethiopian/Eritrean(sp?) population(Stone Mt stand up!!), I have dated countless Ethiopian women who took every precaution to make sure that no one in their community found out that they were dating an American.

        • SweetSass

          They weren’t too elitist to date you though…

          -From An Ethiopian ;)

          • Justmetheguy

            ” They weren’t too elitist to date you though…”

            That’s exactly what I was thinkin lol. I was like oh sh*t, I got a chance if I go to ATL lolol

        • Edmund Dantes

          I think the problem is that we “black” American people do not know our history and personal identity. Not all blacks descended from the same ancesteral tribes/nation-states. Just like all whites are not Germans, or Swedes, or French, or Polish, or Dutch, or British. Many white tribes were mortal enemies. We may have indeed passed down tribal ancesteral animosities over generations that emerged as this sort of behavior. And I definitely disagree with the author’s conclusion. Just because we are outraged and embarrassed by ignorant, boorish behavior does not mean we “sellouts” (I’m a sellout) won’t reach back and try to empower and enlighten as many of our people as I can. In fact, my disgust at ghetto behavior motivates me to do just that. They say that that which irritates you most is your life’s calling. It’s called community activism; and, I endure the insults and disrespect because I feel it is my duty to give back to (even though I never took from) the black community. I think if our black American people would simply master the English language (the only language 99.99% of us know), perceptions and shame would dissapate greatly. And, remember, sounding “black” means you speak Wolof, Fulani, Igbo, or Yoruba; it does not mean you speak street slang and MF every other word. Call me names, insult me if you wish. I have heard it all before.

      • http://www.twitter.com/bmorebmw Tentpole

        Africans attitudes towards African Americans is because we who were born in this country have squandered so many opportunities to inprove their environment and they wished they could have had the same chances we take for granted.

        • Sigma_Since 93

          True in some cases. However, they forget that they themselves often get a pass because they were not born here (except for AIDS) and you must have some coin along with a support system to make the trip across the pond.

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          + 1

          And in the school system, West Indian and African children deal with slurs against them by Black American children on their country, ethnic identity, and even immigration insults.

          Not every Black person likes blackness and will direct those insults towards Black people who they feel fit the profile of nappiness, African-ness–and all the stereotypes of people from Africa and the West Indies.

          Wyclef talks about being a Haitian immigrant, learning English and in school being told by a classmate that he has HBO, Haitian Body Odor.

          Kola Boof will go off on Twitter being an African booty scratcher slur aimed at her.

          • Sigma_Since 93

            You make a valid point for children being educated here. I’m talking about the adults that come here, come up, and have condensending opinions / attitudes about African Americans. I would like to hear about an American who’s banked some coin, went to Africa, come up, and looked at the African people and say you lazy Africans. There’s plenty of opportunities here if you apply yourself. I don’t want to hear about your wars, poor schools and corrupt politics; they sound like excuses to me.

            • A Woman’s Eyes

              To be honest Sigma, Sigma,

              I feel that poor in America is nothing compared to poor in Zimbabwe during their food supplies being cut off and civil uprising, Haiti post-earthquake. I listened to a Zimbabwean family friend of mine talking about worrying about the elders in her family because their food was cut off during a civil uprising back in the late 1990s.

              When someone tells you about soldiers coming to their house and taking everything, killing people, or tells you about children trying to survive in their country with no running water post-earthquake, I can see why the arrogance is there.

              Wouldn’t you be arrogant if you survived the worst in your country, made it over here and got to work for better opportunities?

              Zimbabwean family friend came to America as an adult, after becoming a single parent as a teenager, so her son could go to school here. He graduated summa cumma laude from Morgan State U. and got a full scholarship to an Ivy League school for grad school. Their family comes from a village that had no electricity, no phone. She told a fascinating story about how her father had to travel for miles to someone’s house to get on a phone to call her after Sept 11 happened, as he didn’t know if she was where the event happened.

              She has every right to say “work hard in order to get the opportunities you want” and to be arrogant (though she is not arrogant). She’s not rich, works all the time, doesn’t own expensive things in her house.

              So, I get the context to which people might be arrogant.

              • Sigma_Since 93

                @ Woman’s Eyes

                I get the struggles each group face are subjective. I for once would like for individuals to acknowledge that they get a pass when entering a country (for the most part) because they are not a part of the problem or subject to the socio-political enviornment unless they chose to immerse themselves in the fray.

                I believe that Americans would not survive mentally in the bush because of the conditions. However, since many of us can’t link back our heritage, I wouldn’t be considered a Hutu or Tutsi and/or any of the other rival factions. My only use would be that I’m an American.

                • Justmetheguy

                  @SigmaSince93- Exactly. Everyone’s struggle is different. I don’t even know if I would go so far as to say African Americans wouldnt survive in the bush tho. None of us could ever know. I mean, it would be safe to expect someone who was raised in a privileged 1st world country to not survive in such dire conditions, but the difference is, either you grow up with that as a reality and mature and survive with that reality in mind, or you don’t and your challenges in life are of an entirely different nature. Afro-Americans’ concerns were rarely as immediate and grave as food or avoidance of war violence, but they were real and not always immediately obvious. Even if you feel your problems were tougher, there’s no need to denigrate or antagonize anyone else because you have the perspective to be particularly aware of all the privileges they have and could use to their advantage if realized. Vantage point is everything. People who lack empathy only add to the world’s problems imo. You’re either part of the solution or…

                  • Sigma_Since 93

                    @ Justmetheguy

                    I’m an American. In no way am I trying to slam someone’s opinion. I bristle when I talk with my African brethern about the how African American’s are lazy. After we agree that most conditions in Africa are worse than in America, they still can’t bring themselves to say white america or america in general gives me a pass on certain things because I’m an African; not African American.

                    • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com/ African Mami

                      they still can’t bring themselves to say white america or america in general gives me a pass on certain things because I’m an African; not African American.
                      @ Sigma since 93,

                      *DEAD*….Are you in any way serious?! Puuuuuuuuuuuhleeeeze! Before I open my mouth, I am African American-when I open my mouth I am a BLACK person with an accent! Dude we do NOT in any way get any privileges or passes! We are in the same boat as ya’ll. You think the white man cares about straight from the motherland or born in the states blacks. That is the least of their worries. Aiyayaiyai. That comment was touching to say the least. It has touched my afro and made all the shea butter that makes it smooth like baby’s butt disappear and revert back to its kinky nature!

                      -I’ve read your comments in detail, and all I have to say is COTTAMN! You need to be given an opportunity to guest post your thoughts, because I’m nearly about to pass out-because some of your thoughts about Africans are DEAD WRONG! Like dead, cannot be resurrected like Lazarus!

                  • Corey

                    +1

                • A Woman’s Eyes

                  Please free my comment.

        • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

          I would venture to say that every single African country’s Black population has more control over the state of their country than the Black population in America.

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            Amen, Malik.

          • Justmetheguy

            ” I would venture to say that every single African country’s Black population has more control over the state of their country than the Black population in America.”

            +1 Damn, Malik you on it today man. I normally disagree with you on things, but you’re makin awesome points today. And if I remember correctly you aren’t even black American. Great points tho man. I say that all the time.

        • J

          Thank you. I come from a West Indian family and I am so tired of hearing African Americans complain about how stuck up and elitist we are. Granted, we didn’t have to deal with Jim Crow, but AAs have been in this country for centuries, and though they’ve been given the short end of the stick, there are many opportunities that have been squandered.

          Please check the facts: the majority of black people in top colleges are either of west Indian or African descent. What does that tell you? Not that we’re smarter or have more access to money/educational opportunity. We are all niggers in the eyes of white America. They couldn’t tell the difference btw a black American and a Trinidadian. It’s that blk folks of wi/afr descent, I believe, put a greater value on education, and see that as they key to success in this country, not playing basketball, football, or rapping.

          Obviously not all African americans are this way. But the fact that west Indians and Africans have an easier time achieving class mobility etc says a lot

          And p.s. Black America, you would not have hip hop were it not for us Jamaicans.

          Anyhow, west Indian massive stand up (blup blup bup!)

      • black

        the only reason is that they have more respect for them self and their women and come over to the states and take over

    • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      Interesting quote. That whole mindset encapsulated in that was a heavy backdrop in my childhood. It’s amazing how people who are similarly situated in terms of cultural roots not only can develop differently, but turn actively hostile against each other.

  • naturalista88

    I dislike anyone who is loud & extra for no reason, regardless of race/ethnicity. Like, wtf do you have to be so f*cking annoying & asinine when there is no reason to be?? Do I feel some way about black people who act foolish in public w/out giving not a damn or f*ck? Yes, but I don’t reserve those feelings for just them. They apply to anyone who acts douchey, especially if you’re a friend of mine. So while I may feel shame, it’s equal opportunity shame for the masses.