Featured, Race & Politics

Bill O’Reilly’s Career Is Proof That A Broken Clock Is Always Right If Its White

Bill O’Reilly, a racist and rapey vat of lukewarm hot dog water fused into chicken feed and repurposed as embalming fluid for Antonin Scalia’s corpse, is out at Fox News, after apparently the “rapey” part of the whole “racist and rapey vat of lukewarm hot dog water fused into chicken feed and repurposed as embalming fluid for Antonin Scalia’s corpse” became too much of a financial burden.

He, like most first-ballot members in the White Mediocrity Hall of Fame, is a hypocritical charlatan, a chickenhawk, and a scoundrel whose prominence and career is proof that a broken clock is always right if its White, as he became rich and famous and powerful by peddling lies and blatant untruths; selling them to both the highest possible bidders and the lowest possible denominators. He’s also ugly; the ghoulishness of his visage only matched by the relentless anti-beauty of his wretched soul. He is Peak White Mediocrity, Peak Creep, Peak Alternative Fact, Peak Fuck Face, Peak Hot Dog Water With Sentience, Peak Mail Order Bride, Peak Piece Of Shit, Peak Snivel-Faced Rat Bastard, and Peak Ugly.

His life and his work have made the world a worse place, and I hope the rest of his days are filled with indignities both slight and significant. That he trips and falls and breaks his wrist during his upcoming perp walk. That Chapter 11 bankruptcy hits him the moment he attempts to use his bank card to buy an Altoid. Or perhaps that someone smacks his bitch-ass in the face with a really long and sturdy straw.

Fuck him.

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Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • So much good news today. I shoulf log off the internet before Billo the Clown lands that job at the Whitehouse.

    • Mary Burrell

      IKR, the sad thing is the orange monkey would offer this douche a job.

    • Janelle Doe

      Good point.
      I better go find me some scotch to capture this moment
      ??

  • FriendlessLiberal

    this is a beautiful teardown.

  • Spicy Kas

    All the welps that ever welped!

  • Mark M

    I wouldn’t say he’s mediocre. He’s actually quite good at meeting the demand for a virulent misogynist and racist from an aging, racist, misogynistic and bitter demographic. For that he was at the top of the heap along with Rush Limbaugh. Nobody can compete at being simultaneously morally superior and a victim with Bill O’Reilly and the demographic that supports him.

    Crocodile tears for Fox. They only took action on this vile person after the multiple suits were exposed and advertisers bailed en masse. If Trump can become POTUS for treating women the same way, Bill will find a home and make a lot of money if he chooses to.

    He is, however, the poster child for white fratboy entitlement. They can get away with stuff black people could never, ever get away with. We still have very little margin for error.

  • Mary Burrell

    Well good riddance hope we never have see his ugly mug again or hear about him.

    • Brown Rose

      Unfortunately you will hear or see him again.

      • Mary Burrell

        I know.

  • blueevey

    Didn’t the comment section change his name? Is was that some other horrible old white guy?

  • Roz

    “Bill O’Reilly, a racist and rapey vat of lukewarm hot dog water fused into chicken feed and repurposed as embalming fluid for Antonin Scalia’s corpse, is out at Fox News, after apparently the “rapey” part of the whole “racist and rapey vat of lukewarm hot dog water fused into chicken feed and repurposed as embalming fluid for Antonin Scalia’s corpse” became too much of a financial burden.”
    I’ll be right back, yall.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/aa8fc869b0f3d6cbc254b439203667355220d37dc86c38c687d7909e1347d23a.gif

    • This gif. Lmao.

      • R.C.

        ?…yall is too much!

        • Ethelhcooper

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          !so63c:
          ??
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        • Alishajholland

          Managing director of Google!, is explaining to users to start off “Work at home” method, that People have been doing for about one year now. These days alone, I generated close to $36,000 until now with no more than my home computer as well as some spare time, despite that i have a fulltime 9 to 5 job. Even everyone not used to this, can make $89/per h easily and the earnings can go even higher over time… This is how i started
          !sp61c:
          ??
          ??;?? http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs351ShopEngineGetPaid$97/Hour ????????????????????????????????????????????????????::::::!sp61c:….,……..

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          My last paycheck was $22500 for working 12 hours a week online.Start earning $97/hour by working online from your home for few hours each day with GOOGLE… Get regular payments on weekly basis… All you need is a computer, internet connection and a litte free time… Read more here
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    • Darkchloe144

      Same, finished after the first sentence, LMAO.

      • Roz

        I still haven’t read the entire article. I got all I needed.

        • Darkchloe144

          Please do, it’s LIT too!

    • truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

      I agree. LOL.

    • KC

      gif……….stolen.

    • Alan Christensen

      That is the best description of Bill O’Reilly I’ve ever heard or read. I have to dispute your characterization of him as White Mediocrity, though. He’s not mediocre, he’s downright horrible.

  • Val

    What is amazing is that all of these companies that pulled their advertising were okay with the racism all these years from O’Reilly but now all of a sudden they’ve found a soul? They deserve a big eff you too.

    • Me

      [White] Women represent the new “diversity” angle that big companies have been trying to tout as their commitment to minorities, so they’ll get to all the coloreds’ grievances soon. Just wait for [white] women to win this round first.

      • Wizznilliam

        They BEEN winning though, right?? Can another group gets some shine?

    • TheUnsungStoryteller

      That’s what I was thinking! It’s like…what makes them want to do this right now? This man has always been racist and sexist.

    • I_AmU

      Absofuckinlutly!

    • Looking4Treble

      Reputation finally trumped $$$, Val. You can bet that they are still soulless.

    • Rastaman

      Rupert Murdoch turned Faux News over to his son’s James and Lochlan, they got rid of Roger Ailes and once that was done O’Reilly became an easy target. James Murdoch was the money behind original Rawkus Record label of Talib Kweli and Mos Def fame in the 90’s. Not certain of his political sensibilities but its rumored to be a step up from the Neanderthal environment that was Faux News.

      We are witnessing a change in Faux News management and image, hopefully it is more substantive than just removing a few characters like Ailes and O’Reilly. If we are lucky it could signal the transformation of the organization to something closer to “Fair and Balanced”.

      The idea of Bill O receiving his full contract of $20M annually is not satisfactory to me. It is not enough he no longer has a platform to spew his particular stew of pablum, he needs to hurt more. If there is any real justice in this life he will need to hurt for a real long time for me to feel in anyway sated.

  • I just feel like this proves once again that if the narrative is framed around white women we’ll solve the issue.

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy.
    But no one cared about his racism but people were somehow able to rally to get advertisers to pull when he was accused of harassing his (white) female coworkers.

    • Janelle Doe

      This!

    • BlackMamba

      Not to mention Megyn Kelly’s a*s says the same racist sh*t.

      • Me

        Coming soon to an NBC syndicate near you!

        • BlackMamba

          Groan.

      • Mary Burrell

        Because everyone knows Jesus and Santa Claus are white according to Megyn Kelly.

    • Brown Rose

      It took a lot of them complaining and years, but I was honestly thinking the same thing.

    • Kylroy

      What happened was Roger Ailes left. Ailes was also serial harasser, and he bought off everybody O’Reilly groped as professional courtesy. With him gone, the new management realized BillO’s declining ratings weren’t worth a big under-the-table payoff every few months.

      • Brown Rose

        This is good point. Rot at the top. The racism though against Black people? Negligible. If he had just left those white women alone after the last bout of payoffs, he would still be on the air spewing his hate.

        • Kylroy

          Well, that would have involved a (googling…) 67 year-old man changing a pattern of behavior he’s enjoyed for years. I have to imaging Fox was waiting for the inevitable from the moment Ailes was pushed out.

      • Zil Nabu

        Declining ratings? I read the ratings went up after the allegation became public.

    • Ess Tee

      Yup! We saw it last fall, too, when the audio of Trump on that bus came to air. White women who were silent about alllllll the bigotry, xenophobia, and racism that Trump had been peddling since the moment he announced his candidacy suddenly spoke up about how much of a problem Trump was and is.

      • Kylroy

        And yet still, overall, voted for him.

      • Monica Harris

        I mean, I think that’s unfair. Even Michelle Obama had a lot to say about that comment

  • blueevey

    Ugh. My other comment is now in purgatory.

    We changed his name for all future vsb articles, guys.

    • NotToday

      Is there a reason some comments disappear? I wrote something right before you did and they seem to have both vanished.

      • Val

        Disqus is finicky about the words you use.

        • NotToday

          I didn’t say anything remotely close to a “bad” word. I’m going to need a comprehensive list of what is and isn’t allowed. Please and thank you. (j/k but if you could let me know non-obvious “bad” words I’d appreciate it)

          • Janelle Doe

            See the life hack I shared above.
            A list is tricky.
            We never know when Disqus will mess with us so saving a copy of what you are about to post is good for the blood pressure.
            :-)

            • NotToday

              Thank you!

          • Val

            That’s the thing, some of the words aren’t obvious words that you would expect to be censored. So a list would be hard to make.

          • LMNOP

            The abbreviation for he will gets you sent to comment purgatory.

            • NotToday

              I think that was it! Thank you!

      • Janelle Doe

        Even if you refresh your screen?

        • NotToday

          yeah, I logged in and out to make sure but it’s gone. :(

    • Janelle Doe

      Life Hack (from Fedup I believe) copy your comment before you click post so you can paste it into a new comment box if Disqus misbehaves

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