A long time ago, a young woman from Spelman I vaguely knew, but had exchanged numbers with, called and beckoned me to a mall in Atlanta. Mind you, I’d known this woman in passing and had spoken to her via phone maybe twice before that fateful phone call. BUT, we had a history because we went to the same high school and we knew common people. And let the liquor tell it, she went to Spelman because I went to Morehouse.
Panama is the education blogger!
So what does Panama do? He goes, of course. Why? No idea. Maybe I just like adventure. Now I’d be lying if I said I had NO clue as to what was going down. I’m not naive like that. I figured she had a crush or something she needed to get it off of her chest and I almost think it would be kind of messed up to not let her have that opportunity. My thinking is that she needed to do one of two things:
- At least take her shot and see what happens. I’ll admit, I have to admire her for that. I had a chick thru 3 years of undergrad that I had the biggest crush on but never got up the nerve to even speak to her.
- Get closure. Folks need closure in their life for some reason. Get it off of her chest, if he says no, then at least she tried, and she doesn’t have to go thru life thinking about what could have been.
Both very admirable chances she’s taking. You could learn a lot from a dummy. She put her ass on the line. The problem with putting your ass on the line with a dude you NEVER speak to is that you have NO idea what to expect.
Anyway, said woman approaches the table I’m sitting at and says, “can we take a walk.”
I oblige.
“Panama (well actually she said my real name…but you get the point…you’re smart right?? Right?? Why do I ask questions twice? Why do I ask questions twice?? Not sure.), I called you here to tell you that I’ve been in love with you since the first time I saw you yada yada yada…I needed to get it off my chest yada yada yada. “
Stop. Let me tell you what’s going on in my mind at this moment.
Panama Pontificating: Wow, she really did this, she’s got some big cajones. Hmm, dammit, though I knew this I have no idea what to say about all of this. I mean how do you be nice about this when you aren’t interested, at all??? I don’t know if I should go and eat with her or something to be nice, or is that patronizing?? I mean I have no intention of trying to talk to this woman…dammit, did I get those signatures so I can graduate?? Is that one of the chicks from Destiny’s Child that got kicked out walking this way??? Damn, she’s shorter than I thought…cute though…why am I here again?? Oh right, this girl in front of me…sh*t, looks like she’s wrapping up the speech…
At this point, she’s nearly done. Her speech slowed down, her eyes caught ahold of mine and she said her last words of her prepared speech.
“..and I really wanted you to know. So?”
Panama scratches his trusty chin and does what any other strapping young buck would do in this situation.
I told her “thanks” and walked away.
Cold.Blooded.
But in my defense, this situation is the ultimate in awkward. NOBODY is going to do the best possible thing in that situation? And what’s that you ask?
Jackslap the crap out of her, run, and hope she hates you. That way she isn’t in love anymore, and you can leave with a free conscience.
Huzzah!
Anyway, I recognized shortly thereafter, how trifling that was and how I should have handled that differently. Oh well, spilt milk and blown saves.
So good people of VSB, what’s the most trifling thing you’ve done in regards to the opposite sex? This actually isn’t my most trifling story, just one worth sharing.
Do tell. Do share.
The phone lines are now open.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3
i dont have too much experience with being trife…the most i think ive done is ignored phone calls and hoped dudes would just disappear. its late though, maybe i’ll think of something else by morning!
@shatani, I will ignore the hell out of a phone call, hoping the guy disappears. Seems like the older I get, the less that works, though…
I broke up with somebody over text message. For no apparent reason. Actually, I had a reason in my head. I thought he was arrogant and oversecksual and wack. So I had wanted to break it off for a while.
But coming from his perspective, it must have come out of nowhere. He texted me to see why I hadn’t answered his call. My response was, “Go f*** yourself you ghey bastard. I never liked your pretty a*s anyway! Lose my number!!!”
Or something like that.
@shatani,
Monkeys
@WuDaMan,
What about monkeys?!?!
@shatani,
I, too, will ignore the hell out of a phone call and hope the guy disappears. The older I get, the less acceptable that seems to be, though.
My most triflin thing was when I broke up with somebody via text message. For no apparent reason. I mean, I had a reason in my head because I thought he was arrogant and oversecksual and wack. But when he texted me to ask why I hadn’t answered his call and my response was, “we’re over. go f*** yourself, you’re ghey and i never liked your pretty a*s anyways. Lose my number!,” he must have thought that was kinda triflin.
P-Money, I hope your soul doesnt burn in the hot pits of Dereon bedazzled, embroidered and emblazoned h*ll for that. May you not be condemned to an eternity of wearing sequins and tackiness, and may you never receive a consultation with Mama Tina for her new men’s line. That is the prayer I say for you as I read that (in the name of Shadrack, Mishack and that Billy Goat).
That was COLD as ice.
“Thanks”
*walks away*
Lawd, you drop kicked that girl’s ego through the goalposts of life without a 2nd thought.
@Luvvie,
LOL @ Lawd, you drop kicked that girl’s ego through the goalposts of life without a 2nd thought. – Not to the left, not to the right but straight through!
@Luvvie, “burn in the hot pits of Dereon bedazzled, embroidered and emblazoned h*ll for that.”
LMBAO! lol!
Damp P, you are MUCH!
@Luvvie,
I don’t neccessarily think it was all that cold. He kinda knew where the whole thing was going and he STILL let the girl say her peace. Him showing up was like community service in a way. Would it had been better if he’d not given given her that chance? Shiddd, sometimes people NEED to be rejected every once in a while.
@Monk,
Shiddd, sometimes people NEED to be rejected every once in a while.
i dont disagree and sh*t
@Luvvie,
nachos
@Luvvie,
LMBO @ in the name of Shadrack, Mishack and that Billy Goat
@Luvvie,
That’s why that girl he was in love with was dating three guys and he was only a friend. I felt sorry for him when I read that post. Now after this post I see why that happened to him! Poor Panama my toes! KAAAAARRRRMMMMAAA. May he always be “just a friend” to his true love! I know I know why do I sound bitter like I’m the girl he did this to? I’m not, but it’s stuff like this that make me afraid to approach the guys I want.
@Blue Skyez,
Most trifling thing I did to the opposite sex….hmmm well its never intentional when I do them. Guys just don’t know how to read me well. One time in the club…a guy dragged me out on the dancefloor after I protested (gently) that I did not want to dance. Yet he still insisted and I ended up out on the dancefloor. I left his behind in the middle of the floor by himself looking all tall (He was 6’7″) and arkwardly standing out like an albino roach in a swarm of fire ants. Have fun at lunch with the metaphorical visual! LOL. Anyways the trife things I have done are miniscule compared to what some of my friends have done.
@Blue Skyez,
“arkwardly standing out like an albino roach in a swarm of fire ants.”
iRebuke you in the names of all things scary @ me for this. BUT I will still eat lunch. :-p
@Blue Skyez,
I’m not, but it’s stuff like this that make me afraid to approach the guys I want.
you (and when i say “you” i mean “women”) shouldn’t approach guys anyway, so maybe thats a good thing
@The Champ, you (and when i say “you” i mean “women”) shouldn’t approach guys anyway
Oh really? Why not?
@pgh muse,
http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/f-sadie-hawkins/
@The Champ,
Interesting.
@The Champ,
I agree Champ but my friends say I am wrong and I should go after what I want. I told them that mofo see me just like I see him, if he thought I was fly or was remotely interested he’d muster up some cajones and he’d come talk.
@The Champ,
Thank you! People say I’m old-fashioned when I keep saying that women should NOT approach guys. There is suggestion which is fine by all means, but actually trying to get a guy?
It’s against the laws of physics (like two MC’s can’t occupy the same space at the same time).
I agree with Ms. Luvvie. That was cold. LOL @ the drop kick me reference.
Mine isn’t that cold.
I drunk dialed a dude and told him I would never “share a bowl o f chex” with him because he begged for it. Sadly I remembered nothing of the sort the next day. And to date he has been the best first date I have ever been on.
I live my life for the blaze of glory. Ay dios mio!!!
i like your moniker
@Gem-nasty,
Thanks
@Nola Darling,
burbon and sweet tea
@Nola Darling,
I drunk dialed a dude and told him I would never “share a bowl o f chex” with him because he begged for it.
lol, this isn’t cold as much as its weird. i can’t imagine going out of my way to specifically tell someone they couldnt get the chili dog
Luvvie, lmao @ the goalposts of life, the part of my brain which stores useless information just started playing that song. Really though?! You had to put it on the name of Shadrack, Mishack and that Billy Goat.
Dear P:
In preparation for the VSB spelling bee please be prepared to define, and put in a sentence beginning with “Panama is”, the following words:
rude
ill-mannered
impolite
mean
dead azz wrong
God’s speed and Good Luck.
Now on to overit…*I really can’t say I’ve ever done anything trifling. I think I can be nice to a fault sometimes. Now, have I ever hurt someone cause I didn’t feel the same way? Plenty of times, but shoot, don’t plan what we naming our kids if I don’t even know you like me (not that I would like you anyways, but still).
*Any dude I’ve ever cussed out, called a waste of space and the tread marks of heavy d’s underwear, deserved it.
@overit,
I hatechu for tread mark in Heavy D’s underwear.
LMAO @ your vsb spelling bee. etwin, you slay me. but yes, PJ, please do as instructed.
@overit, I agree with you if i cursed someone out they def deserved it. I mean i have ignored phone calls on more than one occasion or save dudes numbers as Do Not Answer just so i dont mess around and accidentally pick up the phone knowing dam well i don’t want to speak to them.
Now i have had my bff called me while i was out on a date with a dude who was just lame as hell, i texted her and told her to call me to say she was locked out of the house. The funny thing is we don’t live together.
Oh and there a few more instances but those were more like taking one for the team.
Like leading on the promoter to the club that i knew had a huge crush on me, but it was for the team, after that my girls never had to wait in line or buy drinks and they always had a booth in the VIP.
@JamaicanGirl,
I think this type of activity is something your best at!
@The dutchess, Oh really you just going to put me on blast! Do not act like you dont have a few trife moments yourself i suggest you share them with the people of VSB or i will share them for you, and you know i like to exaggerate.
@JamaicanGirl,
Like leading on the promoter to the club that i knew had a huge crush on me, but it was for the team, after that my girls never had to wait in line or buy drinks and they always had a booth in the VIP.
LMAO! I’m currently doing this. It’s mostly just leading up to the Memorial Day Wknd trip with the girls. Those parties are expensive dammit!! Then I’ll tell him I have a bf! I don’t think it’s trife tho cuz he has a baby mama. I’m just out for justice!
@Me fail english?, I totally understand girl, i already have memorial day weekend hook up because i work for the media, those good press passes come in handy in so many ways. But i know i few promoters in the MIA we may have to collaborate then we can really get things popping.
@JamaicanGirl,
Awww shet!
@overit,
Gee, I’ve seen women be all of those adjectives you find fitting for PJ…MANY of times. Even when dude approaches in a respectful, tactful manner, sometimes chicks can just be MEAN. But for some reason, they get a pass for that because (just like Panama) they wasn’t interested. C’mon now…
@Monk,
“Even when dude approaches in a respectful, tactful manner, sometimes chicks can just be MEAN. But for some reason, they get a pass for that because (just like Panama) they wasn’t interested. C’mon now…”
I am willing to bet women have way more of these stories than men.
@Humble_One,
I agree. But will they admit to it is the question. Many tend to play the angelic role when they see fit and don’t want to own up to there own trifling ways.
@Monk,
I agree. But will they admit to it is the question. Many tend to play the angelic role when they see fit and don’t want to own up to there own trifling ways.
***nodding head***
@Humble_One,
Karma should get them, too…………….
@Monk,
Who gives ‘em a pass? I don’t think PJ was rude. PJ says he admires the balls on this chick but I think it was lil inconsiderate to put a dude on the spot like that. Now leaving that girl in the car while he played video games is what’s gonna land him a special place in hell. Heh heh. I keed, I keed!
Anyhow, there’s a way to reject a man without being stank. Women who do it the stank way are mean as hell too. And sometimes they get told about themselves via the normative “Eff u den bwitch! I aint like you anyway.”
@Me fail english?,
Sho Nuff!!
@Me fail english?,
When I first read the post and the responses, I thought about this, too! Women shoot men down all the time – often in a rude way…even to the ones who are polite to them.
A guy can spend all night (or even days/weeks if he is a regular at a spot you are a regular at) getting up the nerve to come over. He finally does, says excuse me, asks her name. I have seen women a) pretend they can’t hear him over the music, b) frown up at the guy, c) turn her back on him and/or d) laugh outright.
A pot shouldn’t talk about the kettle’s melanin, if you know what I’m saying.
And before any one says a girl pouring her heart out doesn’t compare to shooting down a guy in the club…please, please keep in mind that he barely knew her!!!!! For all intents and purposes, she was a freakin’ stranger. SHE was hella rude for putting him in that position, given they didn’t have any real type of relationship.
@Me fail english?,
“Women who do it the stank way are mean as hell too. And sometimes they get told about themselves via the normative “Eff u den bwitch! I aint like you anyway.”
I concur
@Luvvie,
But most women don’t think they are being stank. They say they “just don’t want to be bothered” but act rude as he!!. I have seen so many of my friends do it. I wish I could video folks to show them how they/look and act toward someone who is being polite. It’s not attractive and could be a turn off to a guy you might want to holla at if he sees it!
If a guy is polite, I will engage in 60 seconds of polite convo and smile while saying “sorry sweetie”. If he is a homeless guy on the street, I engage in 20 seconds of banter while walking past.
@iloVEGrits,
Some homeless guy threw garbage at my head and called me a “stuck up broad”. I was scared for my life.
He never even said anything to me.
@Me fail english?
Oh no! This is why I keep walking past…at a steady clip.
@me fail english
last summer, a homeless woman called me a cheap black bastard because i didnt have any change for her. it probably didnt help that i was holding a wine glass
@Me fail english?,
“Eff u den bwitch! I aint like you anyway.”
I hate when they do that, and I make it a point to say but yet you walked your self clean across this place just to come talk to me…. oh ok! And then burst out in laughter!
@Monk, are we talking about women, or even men?
this is a very focused convo, pay attn!
@overit,
lol. I’m not Monk, but I will say that I’ve seen women act real ignorant toward guys who offer up a simple “hello” or “what’s your name?” to them in a club, on the bus, at a bookstore, while making groceries. Even at church.
@iloVEGrits,
even at church?!?!? lawd.
i don’t get stank with guys until they get stank with me. but some guys can’t even take a polite ‘no’ or start off okay but then fall into the pit of despair, desperation and just being a d!ck.
hmmm…..trying to remember something truly trife that i’ve ever done. the only thing i can think of right now is making these two guys jump out of a very high two story dorm window one night in undergrad.
it wasn’t my fault though. and i don’t think that was really cold. they were running from the RA’s cause they were in the dorm after hours and my roommate let them in. we didn’t know they were hiding out though until the cops showed up knocking on doors and they weren’t leaving because someone saw them run down our hall.
i was sick and in no mood for foolishness so them ninjas had to go. duck and roll. one of ‘em landed wrong and had a limp for a few days. oh well.
@iloVEGrits,
“making groceries”
*chuckles*
@Me fail english?,
hey now!!! that’s what it is. no chuckles.
@overit,
sushi
PS) Has anyone received their advance copy of Champ’s book, “The Secret Life of Deez”??
@overit,
It’s on back order, along with Champ’s memoir “Humpty’s Fall wasn’t so Great”. They are on Amazon’s BestSelling Epic Fails list.
@Luvvie, whew! *wipes perfectly threaded brow*
Ooh girl, I caint wait! After reading his previous *books, I KNEW I had to get this next one!
Also by Champ:
Toast Tales
Eggo is NOT my name
@overit,
Did you read the prequel to “Eggo is NOT my name”? It’s called “Don’t let go of my Eggo (yet)”. It was riveting.
@Luvvie, giiiiiiirl, STOP. What the heck, where are you reading this from?!
If “Don’t let go of my Eggo (yet)” is as good as the intro to his essay collection “Rim Shots Through The Wire”, I’m sold!
ps) so glad he isn’t using the pen name “Yung Burgh” anymore.
@overit,
y’all need help. I wonder if there is some kind of 12 step program that frees people from ignance. And to think, I went out in public with you two. lmao.
@overit,
Wells word on the eStreet is that Champ is gon come full circle with a book titled “Deez deez”. I will jog, not power walk to the nearest 2nd hand book store to pick it up upon release.
@iloVEGrits,
Dont go dis-claiming us now. Yes, you went out with us and there is pictorial proof, which Champie shall be receiving as soon as I stop being trifling and upload them.
LMAO @ “deez deez”
i personally am going to go online and pirate (ooooh bad word) the ebook version. this TET is no joke.
@overit, Luvvie,
It is rare that I actually LOL but this whole thread had me in tears…
I need to keep this job, y’all!
@overit, luvvie,
d@mn y’all both to the pits of dereon h3ll. i almost choked on my doughnut.
@overit,
LMAO! Eggo is his name. It is the only food item in his refrigerator. That whole book “Eggo is NOT my name” was just him being in denial.
@Ivy St., lmao, can we make a song to “eggo is his name” to the tune of Dru Hill’s “beauty is her name”. I wish he would have completed his therapy before writing a book in denial.
@overit,
That will be on the soundtrack of the made-for-TV movie that will be released. Be on the lookout for it. JD is producing it. It’s gon b that hot fiyah (no Dylan)
i read an excerpt from the chapter “my big ghey ego” — his writing style is surprisingly captivating
@Gem-nasty, yes it is! at first, i was skeptical, but so far, so hood!
@overit,
but not ghetto?
@shatani, there is a fine line, but no lol.
@overit, YOU ALL KILLED ME WITH THIS ONE. I am done!!! DONE!!!!!!!!!
@overit,
You are too much!! LOL!
@overit,
sausage potatoes and onions
@all,
how do deez taste?
@The Champ,
Like the inside of a fake leg
Ok…so I don’t think what PJ did was all that rude or overly trifling. Was it compassionate? No. But it wasn’t ‘mean’ either. It was just weird.
He didn’t laugh in her face or tell her she didn’t have a shot in he!! of getting with him. It could have been a lot worse for her, honestly.
He wasn’t feeling her so, no matter what his reaction, even if he had given her a friendly hug while breaking the news once he told her, in a nice way of course, she didn’t have a shot in he!! of getting with him, her ego would have been crushed.
Sheeeyat…I am thinking his reaction is actually BETTER than trying to be nice and ‘talk’ to her about it. He left!!! She was able to be alone and embarrassed as opposed to being embarrassed AND having to sit with and look at and listen to a guy who just rejected her.
@iloVEGrits,
You r cold-blooded to think pouring your heart out to someone and being met with a “Thanks” and the back of the skull ain’t mean. That’s even worse that saying “No I don’t feel you in that way” because it shows the person you just told a. doesn’t respect you enough to acknowledge your outpour of emotions or 2. just doesn’t give a da*n bout you, not even on the friendship level.
And if that aint mean, then iunno.
@Luvvie, but they werent friends luvvie he doesnt know her and didnt owe her that yeah he could have said it a little better but I dont think he owed her anything and she shouldnt have expected anything….I mean its not like its an ex or a girl he kicked it with all the time this is some random chick..its like the dude at the 7 eleven being all “yo I see you with that big gulp and Im in love with you”
He.ll I would run cause seriously if you dont know shyt about me and you claim to be in love I would be thinking this chick is on some stalker john lennon type shyt….
@shay_d_lady,
If the chick is crazy, more reason for him not to jus say thanks and walk away. She may Jazmine Sullivan his lil pento. lol
@Luvvie,
I don’t think it is someone’s job, if they are not your friend or don’t see you regularly, to acknowledge your emotions. We are putting a huge burden on PJ to sit and worry about how some girl he really doesn’t know on that level is feeling.
Yeah, he could have humored her. But who wants that? I for one don’t like to be humored nor do I want smoke blown up my butt.
I don’t think it wasn’t mean. Yeah…he lacked compassion. But mean? Not in my book.
@iloVEGrits,
AND Panama went with the inkling that she was going to do something like that. Was like he said yes just to shoot her down. Womp. The saying “thanks” wasn’t the worst part. The walking away was the DANG part.
@Luvvie,
I just think that’s weird. Not mean. People don’t always react the way we expect or want them to. You do what you do in the moment. I don’t think he intentionally tried to shoot the girl down. If he did, he’d have written a different post. It’s obvious he was confused and just did what made sense to him at the moment. Besides, he was young. I wouldn’t expect this from him now.
it’s neither weird nor mean. just TRIFLING and RUDE. hence the reason for the whole post.
@iloVEGrits, I’ll take weird if its a non-social skills havin azz kinda weird.
Or the I’m too scared to hurt someone’s feelings kinda weird, which would be the one I could kinda understand. We are evolved social creatures, walking away and grunting is no excuse!
@Luvvie,
Lol. Okay I forgot about the fact that he had a feeling that was what she was going to say. He had time from his home to the mall to come up with a better “let you down easy” speech than “Thanks” and chucking the deuces.
That is some rude ish! That oughta learn her some discretion!
@Me fail english? and Luvvie,
I’m sorry, what’s rude is that ol’ girl had the nerve to tell him she was in “love with him” and she doesn’t really know Panama … WHO DOES THAT?
Tell him you’re attracted to him, and like to see where it could go … Tell him you wanna take him back to your place and pay it forward immediately … Tell him anything but “I’m in love with you, but I don’t know your momma’s last name.”
She really deserved to be pimpslapped out of her own stupidity. The “thanks” and walk away (think: Katt Williams in that Outkast video “Roses”) were well warranted.
@TMCY
I do not advocate the “love” crap she poured. That’s some dumb ish but just cuz she was being dumb/crazy didnt mean he had to respond like that. But we can all agree to disagree.
lol@ pimpslapped. Is that men’s reaction whenever they’re caught off guard?!
Yeah I agree, she put him on the spot something awful. I just don’t think two wrongs make it right (unless it concerns me getting revenge
).
@Luvvie,
“but just cuz she was being dumb/crazy didnt mean he had to respond like that.”
Only a fool tries to placate a crazy person. ANY sign of kindness he’d have shown her…a lengthy convo, discussing her feelings with her, buying her a cinnamon bun, walking her to her car…would have added fuel to her fire.
She’d have thought “he’s so sweet. He really cared enough to let me down easily. I love him more” or “he wouldn’t have been so nice if he didn’t feel something. If I give it a few more years he’ll come around”. You never know what’s going on in a lunatic’s mind, especially if that lunatic is a woman.
So, yeah…I disagree.
@iloVEGrits,
I think you’re onto something here. Which is probably why I get more than my fair share of stalkers. Tryna be “humane” and ish.
P, you shoulda kicked her in the shins and kept it movin! (Just playin’…kinda)
@iloVEGrits, you must have the King Wrong version of the book lol, cause in my book, it clearly instructs: “thou shalt not be premeditated in rude actions”.
@overit,
:-p
that’s all I have to say to you. lol.
NOT the king wrong version lmao
how you gon tell her what her book says?? RUDE! go sat down and paw paw in the corner.
@overit,
U stoopid. Dont let nobody tell u different!
@Luvvie,
@Me fail english?
Continuing from thread above … I agree that Panama probably shouldn’t have chucked her the deuces immediately. That’s was rude. But I probably did some ignorant mess like that at 19, too. And what was his supposed to comeback at her with: “Why do you love me?” … we already know better than to ask that question. Simple answer: Because she’s loony.
Pimpslapped = figure of speech …, but Me Fail, in the name of all things revenge, please go to my blog and read No. 20 (The Girl Who Flung Spaghetti at My FUBU) … That’s just for you … lol.
@thismayconcernyou,
What in the “Cask of Amontillado” hell????
LOL. You needed some therapy, bruh! Good blog and sh!t tho.
@Luvvie,
By saying “thanks” he acknowledged her outpour. She maybe should have thanked him for coming. As I said upthread, he didn’t even have to do that.
@Monk,
I am actually surprised that so many people think his reaction was so mean. Ok. I’m not that surprised. But still.
@iloVEGrits,
Me too. Not knowing what to expect, she could’ve got cussed out by the right (read: wrong) person.
@Luvvie,
“You r cold-blooded to think pouring your heart out to someone”
This is what happens to people who pour their heart out to passing associates. Simps get treated as such.
@iloVEGrits,
Hahahahaha!!
@iloVEGrits,
Once again, I dont agree with her “I think I love you” spiel. You cold, green eyes. You cold.
@iloVEGrits, thats what I said I mean he could have added some worthless platitudes but on the real he wasnt feeling her so…..I mean yeah in hindsight he could have said.. yo, im flattered and your a really good girl but at this time in my life ….yadda yadda yadda but what real difference would that have made?
@shay_d_lady, i don’t think they are worthless platitudes, i completely understand “i’m not interested in you in the slightest” is not easy to say, but, i def think there was room to be nicer about it.
that was just plain mean, how ya’ll can justify it is beyond me.
i feel you. the walking away part is what was RUDE as hell to me. like, not even “can i walk you to your car?” or a measly “i’ll see you around”. you don’t have to add insincere fluff but at least properly part and say good bye to the girl. gee wiz!!
you drive all the way out to meet this girl just to leave her with her face on the ground?? at least help her pick it up off the floor, readjust, and go send her on her way to buy some baaaaangles or get some festive hair products. sheesh!! a sista can’t get no love muffin action?!
@Gem-nasty, if you don’t sit your gaelic speaking, bscottish butt down! lmao.
but yes indeedy, always the baaaaangles.
@overit,
“if you don’t sit your gaelic speaking, bscottish butt down!”
lololol…i think gem is bscottmitized. cause i really don’t think she would have wanted to go buy some baaaaaangles at that point.
@overit, I guess I dont understand why you are saying that him telling her thanks and walking away is rude when to me I think he never should have given her the opportunity.. you know you dont know her , you werent feelin her, had a sneaking suspicion so to me the fact that he even allowed her to get that far and attempted to give her closure shows that he wasnt being mean he could have handled it better sure but I chalk it up to being young and it being an awkward situation..I dont know but then people tell me Im mean and rude all the time so maybe im biased….rude to me would have been a laugh in the face or an r u serious? or a biatch get the F!ck outta here with that I oun even not know you…..response….but I guess im used to more uncouth type figgas so …i guess it depends on what you measuring it against..
@shay_d_lady, right, if i knew that was coming, i just would say i can’t make it, or come up with something better.
@iloVEGrits,
sweet potato pie
@iloVEGrits,
I’m with you. Mainly because I’ve done the same thing to men before. What am I sposed to do? Apologize? I didn’t MAKE them catch feelings and they can’t MAKE me catch em either.
@iloVEGrits,
Agreed.
for the most part I try to treat people the way I want to be treated, for real. I mean all bull aside I talk shyt and call people nicknames and rename them but its all in fun and if someone was really bothered or ever corrected me I would respect that its not until you disrespect me that we have a problem and I dont consider that trifling…its retaliation and Im all about it politically correct or not!
the one thing that ive done that I truly qualify as trifling (and I think ive shared this before) is the time that this guy I was seeing came over to spend the night at my sisters house but I was still on the on again off again rollercoaster with my ex and my ex called and told me he was outside and I left the new dude on the couch to …cough…. discuss somethings with my ex….
he was a good dude and we were really good friends before we started seeing each other. He actually had liked me from the start but I was all wrapped up in the other dude, I knew I wasnt over my ex so I never should have started with him I just didnt want to hurt his feelings and ended up doing it anyway and ruining a really good relationship..
@shay_d_lady,
I ‘member this story. LOL and awww damn
@shay_d_lady,
I remember this story. Scandalous. Just scandalous.
@shay_d_lady,
balogna w/ mayonase tomatoe cheese and basil
I have a lot of opposite-sex related trifling-ness in my past. It’s not pretty and I’m not proud of it but I own up to it.
When I was 17 and in my second semester of my freshman year in college, I cheated on my boyfriend from high school (we also went to the same university in Missouri). He was the first and last boyfriend I cheated on. Anyhoo, I started seeing this 21 year old from Missouri on the side and was riding around campus in his car, going to parties with him, hanging with his friends. I event went to St. Lou with him one weekend to visit his mom. All the while, I had a boyfriend. What’s crazy, though he knew what was going on, he didn’t break up with me. The 21 year old flunked out (he was a slacker; he was still a sophomore and had 10 credit hours, though he’d been at the school 3 years) at the end of the semester and my boyfriend and I were back to ‘normal’. We stayed together an additional four years.
When I was 22, I dated and lived with a 34 year old. I got pi$$y drunk New Year’s Eve and ended up feeling up my boss’ brother in law who was sitting in the back seat – with me – of the car my boyfriend was driving. I still cringe when I think about this. The 34 year old proposed – no lie, that May. I broke up with him the following September. He had control issues.
@iloVEGrits,
You had these mens ‘an em CRAZY in love!
@Luvvie,
Yeah. But karma is a bish. I am not looking forward to the day the universe pays me back for the way I behaved.
@iloVEGrits,
Mayb the universe will pay you back by making ur feet grow, thereby rendering your shoe collection moot. When that happens, can I sell them on eBay?
@Luvvie,
Mayb the universe will pay you back by making ur feet grow, thereby rendering your shoe collection moot.
LOLOL
@iloVEGrits, uhhh and you say my story is scandalous? LOL yeah I think we tit for tat VEG!!!! LOL
@shay_d_lady,
lmao. So funny, so true.
@iloVEGrits,
fish and spaghetti
also..why did I just read an urban “novel ” titled trife life to lavish!!! LMAO please dont ask how I came to know of this book and the author..that is a hilarious story that I will save for another time…
@shay_d_lady,
Are you a member of the Black Expressions Book club, per chance? LOL they the ones where 89% of their books are either “Let the Church say HALLELUYARRRR” or “CHex NOIR”. For shame. I was a member and tryna fulfill the 5 book requirement was hard when they had like NO quality books. I ain’t want to read Eric Jerome Dickey or Zane so my pics were limited.
@shay_d_lady,
That’s a Nas quote, right?
@Monk,
“Gimme one shot/I’ll turn trife life to lavish…” (If I Ruled the World)
@shay_d_lady,
fried green tomatoes
shay_d, i need to meet you so we can go somewhere cozy, i can get a chai tea latter or a hot chocolate, and you can tell me stories.
please make this happen.
thanks.
@overit,
I vote that we make Shay-d-Lady the Story Laureate of VSB. She must tell us tales from her past at least once a post, and be open to Q & A afterwards about “how she did it” and “what happened after?”
All who support, say YEA. All who disagree, sat down
@Luvvie, YEA!
@overit,
yea.
@Luvvie, Look i cant be tellin yall no more stories! hell I slick need to change my moniker cause some of the crazy mofos from my past done found me on facebook and be straight internet stalkin me!!!! now if and when that midgett pimp shows back up Im throwin yall the deuces!!! LOL
@shay_d_lady,
STILL 6 feet deep @ “I’m sorry you got smacked by a Mexican midget pimp…”
@Luvvie,
Yea
@overit,
tenderized conch fritters
@WuDaMan,
*dead*
@WuDaMan,
I just had a tiny daydream of wandering into an enclosed space, scrunching up my nose, and muttering “this room smells like conch fritters.” Then I glared accusingly at the occupants and stalked off.
I heart my brain. Thanks for the random prompt.
@Nikiloveli,
LMAO! I just imagined myself in that room, distancing myself from the other occupants and discreetly pointing towards a larger male in the bunch as if to suggest it was his fault.
Darn you, Nik!!!
I also, last summer, casually dated this guy for about three months. We went out several times and talked on the phone regularly. One day, because I wasn’t feeling him at all (I had no sexual attraction to him, though he was handsome, and wouldn’t let him do more than peck me on the lips), I just stopped answering the phone. No explanation, nothing. He called for some time (he even called me in February of this year) and I just ignore the ring.
This was trifling because we had an intellectual connection…because of this, I probably owed him some sort of explanation.
@iloVEGrits, FOR SHAME!!!!!
on the real..If thats trifling……..
@iloVEGrits,
Steak fries smothered in garlic & butter
@WuDaMan,
That sounds delicious
@iloVEGrits,
I am guilty of the same thing. This dude offered to cook dinner for me and everything but I just didn’t like him like that. I just texted him saying that I was busy and stopped answering his calls. But in my defense, although he was a really handsome and caring guy, I deemed him to be an alkie, so is it still mean?
@Ms. T,
But in my defense, although he was a really handsome and caring guy, I deemed him to be an alkie, so is it still mean?
yup
@Ms. T,
No. The phrase “but in my defense” eliminates all culpability and any future karmic retribution. That’s why we say it so much.
This is unrelated to all of this but why was I on the bus reading my News on the Go (RedEye Chicago) when I flipped the page with amazing eagerness and somehow scratched my eye (the inside part) with the page. I involuntarily wept for many minutes. F my life.
@Luvvie,
lawd.
@Luvvie, ooh, I hate when things scratch my inside parts where I don’t want them to. That musta hurt, I’m squinting my eye as I type this. My left one, was it your left eye too?? Am I having sympathy pains?
@overit,
oddly enough, I too squinted when I read it. My right eye though.
@iloVEGrits, i squint my left, you squint your right, together we’re outta sight! LMAO.
DEF my cue to go to sleep.
double kisses!
@overit,
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Why do I talk to you on a daily basis? LMAO! How am I sposed 2 sleep soundly under these conditions? LMAO!
@iloVEGrits,
lol. my right eye did tear up right then. but im’ma chalk it up to allergies.
@Luvvie,
‘ol overzealous page turnin’ self…
@overit,
Twas my right eye. So mayb u having Opposite Day sympathy pains? Me no know. Alls I do know is I was tellin myself “don’t let em see you cry!” as tears fell down my cheeks. But I wasnt crying. My eye was just reacting to the foreign object that invaded it.
And to ANYONE who is bout to make that sentence dirty, iRebuke you in the name of Holy Water, Easter just passed and I’m telling yo mama! That is all. IGnight, everyones.
@overit, I hate when things scratch my inside parts where I don’t want them to.
so yall just gone act like yall didnt read that line ? LMAO!!!!
@shay_d_lady,
I read it and snickered.
@shay_d_lady,
I read it and thought a thang or two. Not “touching” THAT one though. LOL!!
@shay_d_lady,
I’m waitin to see Champ’s retort. He cant pass up such a bait.
@Luvvie,
Now he will, just to spite you.
@Nikiloveli,
i was close, but i couldnt help myself. retorts are the champs crack.
@Nikiloveli,
YESSSS!!! I wasnt disappointed.
@Champ
If retorts are your crack, does that mean… you know what? I’mo walk away and let this be
@overit,
I hate when things scratch my inside parts where I don’t want them to
this explains the cobwebs
@The Champ,
Kapowee! My day is made. Thank you, oh ye of the egg head
@Luvvie,
skillet eggs
@WuDaMan,
that is poached eggs on omlet fillings
****Disclaimer*****
I was young…and I’m a married man now, I’ve learned how to be a better man.
******************
Story 1 – So, I’d chatted it up with this young lady for a bit. We’d gone out a time or two and there was a healthy does of physicality and anxiety. I figured the next time we met up, it would go down. So, she get’s there and yadda yadda yadda, we end up in the bedroom. Kissin’, pettin’, it’s all going down.
Then, I hit the brick wall that is resistance. She cluched her bra and pants like she had the antedote in there. I don’t catch cases, so I left that alone. We kissed for a little bit, cuddled up, and she fell asleep. “I aaaaaaaaaaaam blueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee” (c) Blu. I get up and go to the living room for a little bit, trying to process this…and decide, there was nothing to process. I go back to my room, wake her up, hand her her shoes and tell her to leave. I even told her that she didn’t want to get down, so she had to go. There was a lot of cursing, name calling, but she bounced.
I made a phone call and finished what I started with one of the bench players.
****Disclaimer*****
I was young…and I’m a married man now, I’ve learned how to be a better man.
******************
The one thing that comes to my mind is during college when I ditched a girl I was seeing for a more attractive girl. Although I don’t necessarily regret doing it, the manner in which it happened kinda sucked. I pretty much just moved on without saying anything and mutual friends pretty much was left there to console her. It was very insensitive I must say, but hey, you live and you learn.
@Monk,
Lagsania
This topic reminds me of a girl that I had a class with and she was…let’s just say, physically repulsive (cause I don’t like the word ‘ugly). If you REALLY wanna know how she looked, here it is:
http://www.imdb.com/video/hulu/vi3274768409/
She was nice so of course I was nice in return just to be cordial and whatnot. But then she did the ultimate and asked for my number so we can “possibly study together”. Put in that peculiar situation, I didn’t know how to react so I just said that me and my girlfriend studied together so that wouldn’t be appropriate.
Oh yeah, I didn’t have a girlfriend at that time.
@Monk,
grilled boneless skinless chicken breasts pounded flat marinated in lemon juice italian herbs garlic & lawries
plum tomatoes made into a sauce w/ olive oil brie fresh basil n toasted pine nuts
over orichette
@Monk,
im mad you called her the thing from weird science. wow, lol
Well, there’s at least 1 woman out there that will probably hate you for the rest of her life.lol.
@Slim Jackson, there are def 2 that we know about..ol girl in the car? if she aint never admitted it she hates him too….LMAO yall is some funny dudes….and lets just pose the question..where are these girls from?
I mean fa real, fa real where they do this type of shyt at?
@shay_d_lady,
“where they do this type of shyt at?”
My thoughts exactly. P could have suggested she get counseling; she obviously had some issues.
A crush is one thing. But “love”? Ol girl was a few slices short of a loaf.
@Slim Jackson,
bbqed snoot
I’m sorry some clown who didn’t know you told you she was in love with you. She deserved for you to walk away from her ….
I mean, who in the hell says I’m in love with you to someone he/she doesn’t know? Grow up.
The most trifling thing I’ve done? Man, prolly just sent an ignorant text to my ex’s guyfriend at the time to retaliate to some dumb shit she’d done to me … I’d never go that route again, though. Too trifling …
Hmmm…Trife Moments in the Captain’s War Journal:
Post knut a chick says “so you’re just going to f*ck me and leave?” I say yes and put on my pants and dip…
I don’t have too many stories of the trife life only because I’m such a f*ckin gentleman. I have crushed a few souls with my sarcastic and dry remarks. I wasn’t doing it to be mean…I have the disease of being truthful.
@CPT Callamity,
burnt brisket ends sandwich
@WuDaMan,
Slow roasted rat knuckles with beetle chitin.
Okay, it wasn’t really me but I was an accessory to the crime so I’ll share..
In a former, more hood incarnation (as a teenager in BK) Me Fail associated with a pretty ghetto(read: bored, brash and broke as hell) group of girls who had no shortage of “get money” schemes. To my credit they weren’t what I would call “friends” just chicks that lived in the hood. We’d go to parties together, chill on the stoop, etc. But I would never tell them my business or put it past them to try to bag my man or whatever.
Anyhow, one of the more popular (dangerous) scams was to meet older dudes who looked like they had money, chill with them all night and if you catch em slippin (fallin asleep, goin to the bathroom with his wallet on the table, etc.) go in they pocket. Or just take some jewelry, weed or any other valuable and just dip on em. I NEVER had the balls to actually take the ish but the ladies always broke bread with me.
Our biggest score was $1200 at one time which worked out to $300 apiece.
I guess it was trife, but in our collective defense, he was a drug dealer so he didn’t earn the money anyway. Also, he threatened to shoot all of our families once he found out so apparently he wasn’t very nice either. Hmph! We were just tryna clean up the streets. 
@Me fail english?,
I loved this.
You could write an urban novel about your youthful experience. Unfortunately the best titles -”Fly Girl” and “Crackhead” (not that you were a crackhead or anything) – are taken. But we’ll all help you think of something.
@iloVEGrits,
Why is “Crackhead” on the Essence Bestsellers list. Who’s paying for this ish?
@Dom,
Like seriously?
@Me fail english?,
slow smoked dry rubbed ribs
@Me fail english?,
***more proof that me fail’s real name is winter santiago***
@The Champ,
lol. I think her schemes were a little sophisticated for my set. These crazy chicks were robbing the Chinese delivery man and cab drivers and stuff! Thank Jeebus for my edumacation.
Man, that is so cold! OMG, I know her lil feelings were so hurt. You could have just avoided her or something so she could get the picture that way… IDK But Mayne!!!!! WOW!
@Ms. T,
jew town polish
@WuDaMan,
Da hell? Man you gota be making some of this up!
This was very trife!! Ohhhh I know she was just like dayum I went out on a limb for THIS fool. She prob felt EVEN worst gettin played by a self-proclaimed 3! I mean she played the heck out of herself but still…
So P what happened the next time you saw her? Did she shake a chicken bone at you while throwin voodoo hex your way? Or did she just avoid the man who publically trampled her heart? (I’m dying laughing over her. Oooh am I evil on the inside???)
@YaDaddyLikesIt,
milk punch
horchata
sopes
@YaDaddyLikesIt,
Or did she just avoid the man who publically trampled her heart
when i skimmed through this the first time, i thought i read “pubically” trampled her heart, which would have made the sentence a bit more exciting.
@The Champ,
ew.
@The Champ,
‘“pubically” trampled her heart’
Is that what they call “Spanish”?
I don’t think what P did was mean. Although saying Thanks and leaving isn’t the nicest thing, f it….she took that risk.
I’ve done plenty of mean things to dudes… but the masses say I’m a mean person anyway so I guess its not outta my character.
Oh well. *shrugs shoulders*
The meanest thing…. can’t think of one that I can tell… so I’ll say that one of the meanest, a-holish things I did was call to cuss him out, but his dad answered the phone and then when i was done he said “i’ll give him the message” and I hung up and went on about my day.
@Naturally Sarcastic,
italian night club w/ mayo alfalfa n cherry peppers
I’m at my desk CRYING laughing at WudaMan leaving nothing but food as his comments today. *dead* at this fool replying to someone with “fish & spaghetti”
@Luvvie,
You’re not alone sister…lol
@Luvvie,
But what the hell is monkeys? (post 1)
@Me fail english?,
Seriously LMAO! Wu got isshas
@Luvvie,
And why am I waiting for him to respond “Cheese grits” like that’s some infinite wisdom that the whole board can use (…but I’m too shy to say)???
@Luvvie,
fried beef tripe
@Luvvie,
He had me in tears all day. That dude is something else.
LMFAO…..that was BRUTAL dude…..
and to folk trying to compare what Panama did to random dudes getting shot down on approach, theres no comparison…people don’t have to be ridicuously cruel but gracious when rejecting folk……..
I will say this it does take alot of courage to profess love even if it is unrequited!
I don’t do trife and really try hard not to hurt folk. have I in my past yes esp as a young girl but since I”ve been grown I know better…KARMA is real.
@OrangeStar616,
hot wangs blue cheese and pizza n hot sauce
I have done many a trifflin thing. None of which I am proud of. One that immediately comes to mind is:
I asked an ex who I knew was still interested in me, to come over to fix my VCR (this was obviously back in the stone ages when folks used VCRs). When he got there, i lead him into the bedroom where the malfunctioning VCR resided, and there chillin on the bed was my current boyfriend.
He stayed and fixed it. My new bf thought it was hilarious.
@VeronicaL,
*crying*
Now this…is pure evil my friends!!!
@VeronicaL,
I feel bad for cackling at this. lol
@VeronicaL,
d@mn………….just d@mn.
@VeronicaL,
taffy apple salad
@WuDaMan,
Thanks. I appreciate that.
@WuDaMan,
You are really cuttin up with that food today. Kinda remind me of PootieTang (sp?) LOL
@Ms. T,
I think I’m hitting rock bottom.
Taffy apple salad
apples cubed w/ skin on
pineapple chunks
whipped cream
marshmellows
peanuts
mix it all up n eat it
@VeronicaL,
That is really mean. Why would the current bf allow such a thing?!? What goes around comes around.
@Ivy St.,
I said I wasn’t proud…
It had nothing to do with him allowing it. I was just a triflin brooklyn yute.
@VeronicaL,
LOL! I see. I don’t even know the dude and this even hurt my feelings. We’ve all done something cruel and unusual.
@Ivy St.,
lol. And ya know…he was a nice guy too. *sigh* VL was not a nice girl in her youth. I got some other stories that would make you cry.
I blame the mean streets of bklyn* for all my wrong doings.
*relatively safe neighborhood of East Flatbush.
@VeronicaL,
You beat Panama by a mile! WOW!!!! LMAO
@VeronicaL,
***reminding self to seat vl on the opposite side of the pavilion during the vsb bbq***
@VeronicaL,
I guess we were meanies in our
not so far removedpast.Anytime I did something, I didn’t feel like I was being trifling but you know in hindsight, maybe I was a tad so?
So I had decided to take “some time off to think through this marriage decision” with the ex-fiance… So technically, we were “on a break”. But dude still took upon himself to organize my birthday and everything… After we went to the club, he wanted me to go home with him, but I told him we was on a break. So why did I call my jump-off that night to come over (couldn’t waste a good birthday night)?
The kicker is, the next day I was moving out and ex-fiance was in charge of renting the truck. Unfortunately when he showed up early in the morning without calling first… carrying my favorite Starbucks drink (Nonfat Chai Latte)… The jump off was all cozy in the apartment…
One of my awkwardest moments to date. Thing is, he still helped me move and we even went to the movies later on.
(May God renew my Karma, in His name, AMEN!)
@Sula in Wonderland,
HAHAHAHAHHHAHAAAAA!!!!!!
Wait! I wasn’t supposed to laugh at that.
tsk tsk Sula. That was very triflin and you should feel terrible.
Once upon a time, there was beautiful choclate diva named Naturally Alise. A 20 yr old drop of heaven was she. She was casually dating a decent fella who was in love with her. (mismatched feelings like Santigold touring wardrobe) This lovely but trifling pretty young thing accompanied this fella to a Superbowl party. At the party she locks eyes with a kind gentleman and sparks up conversation, that somehow lasts for a good hour. The kindly young lady exchanges numbers with the fella.
A week later I find out that the fella was his cousin…. interesting sidebar: I ended up having a long term relationship with the fella… and the cousins fell out. Wonder if they speak to each other to this day?
@Naturally Alise,
LMAO! This was a Terrible Tale of Trife. And me too. I wonder…
@Naturally Alise,
calamari w/ marinara n lemon juice
@WuDaMan,
or calamari n octopus salad
@Naturally Alise,
Reminds me of Jasmine Sullivan’s “I think I like your best friend”
I’ve done one or three trifling things in my colorful past, but the first one that comes to mind is having my ex-boyfriend escort me to the airport – carrying all of my luggage – so I could fly to ATL to see my new boyfriend. On the surface, that doesn’t seem so trifling until you consider the fact that I broke up with the ex and told him the purpose of the trip right before I boarded the plane.
@Kindred Smile,
See there??? Mayb thats why it rains errtime you get ur hair done.
@Luvvie, Stifle. Just stifle!
@Kindred Smile,
poutin
@Kindred Smile,
Now this is just effed up. Couldnta been me.
@Dom,
The only reason that coulda been me is cuz airport security will karate chop you just for blinking at a ninja wrong. Post Office security is like that too (Don’t ask me how I know that).
@Me fail english?,
SMH already. I can only imagine….
Okay, this post is cosmic and all that because I’m trying to come up with the best way to approach my fellow train commuter. I mean it’s spring and such and I’m looking rather fly lately, so the courage is there (and it doesn’t even involve liquid!). So what’s the least embarrasing way to approach him. Keep in mind I have to ride the train with this sucka 5 days a week. Tryin’ to keep at least some of my pride here. He seems interested but shy. He’d glance at me then glance away Speedy Gonzales fast and twiddle with his iDistraction. What’s a Cheekie to do?*
And I’ve had ninjas say “I thought we had a spark” to me in one way or another. I just half-smile (or if it’s on the internets, I wink- smiley at them) and say “Yeah…”. You know that “yeah” where you say it and elongate it then drift into deep thought…that’s what I do. It’s awkward whatever I do anyhow. That’s all I can come up with.
P.S. WudaMan is a plum fool for leaving food comments to everyone like he’s dispensing advice but somehow they all sound very sage-y and wise.
*Oh, I’m not gonna be like Panama’s chick and tell him I’ve been in love with him from first sight (this ain’t a romantic comedy and I’m no Meg Ryan), I just wanna go out to lunch or some ish.
@Cheekie,
awwww….cheekie got a crush. cute!
ok. *thinking cap on*
do ya’ll ever sit together? if you think he’s interested don’t over think it. just plop down and start a convo. does he read? listen to music? ask what it is. our trains here get crowded so this may take some plotting and swift movements.
or you could be slick and position yourself near him or the exit of his stop and slip him a cute smile and your number on his way out. or slip it to him on your way out.
*shrug*
@SouthernGirl,
“our trains here get crowded so this may take some plotting and swift movements.”
And if you’re from a city full of people who don’t even make eye contact like New York, there’s no way you can make it look like anything other than trying to get with him. So you might as well grab the bull by the balls.
Wait til you’re on the platform, if you guys have a common stop. Otherwise, wait til you’re on a relatively empty train. If he shoots you down just find another car, far, far away to sit in from now on.
@Me fail english?,
Yup, I’m in the Chi (the clean NY as they say). I only see him when we’re heading downtown so everyone has a common stop and it’s usually a bit crowded. Maybe I should approach him before more people get on…there are several stops after mine before downtown so it usually gets more and more crowded then.
Thing is, we small-talked once. The train stopped for about an hour (some weird switch thang) and he was like, “Never experienced anything like this before” and we engaged in the usual small-talk commuter convo. After that he went back to his shy self. Maybe he was waiting for me to initiate again?
I’m shy too, so maybe I blew it with that, but I’m pretty friendly once I warm up. It just takes a while to warm up. Yeah, I know I’m a wreck. And of course it’s easier to approach and smile at mofos that I’m not really interested in because the pressure is off, but with foine guys I clam the hell up. Ah well, no worries, I can be smooth when I want to.
@SouthernGirl,
Ain’t it cute? *blush* lol
Sometimes I just “happen” to sit next to him. You know how that goes. I’ve been wondering what the best way to go about it. He usually reads and/or listens to his headphones (or he goes to sleep…lol) so your suggestions are good ones and ones that I’ve thought about but weren’t sure about. Thanks!
@Cheekie,
loose meat bbq sandwich
@WuDaMan,
No more food talk. I could go for a strawberry short cake though. I’ll have just a slice.
@WuDaMan,
“loose meat bbq sandwich”
lol. Okay, that was really appropriate. And pause-worthy.
And it sounds sorta gross. Kinda like how pulled pork sounds gross. WTF are you pulling it from?
@Cheekie,
“loose meat bbq sandwich”
I agree this does sound gross.
Maybe because every time I think of any type of loose meat or barbecue, I’m forced to think of Champ comparing it to some woman’s loose vajayjay.
@Ivy St.,
Annnnnd that’s where the pause has two meanings. Ew.
@Cheekie,
all of these suggestions are f*cking terrible, lol
make yourself approachable (a smile, eye contact, small talk, midget kick etc)…but dont approach with the intent on bagging.
i say this because, despite us feigning obliviousness, we (men) know when someone is making themselves approachable, and if a guy’s interested, he’ll approach.
@The Champ,
“all of these suggestions are f*cking terrible”
Damn.
Please, for the sake of being forthright, next time don’t hold back.
@Me fail english?,
lol.
@ champ,
well d@mn. lol. but hasn’t all or most of this occurred already? the eye contact, small talk and all that jazz? i’m guessing she’s been smiling at some point. if she’s shy and he’s shy, somebody’s gotta step up to the plate.
so i guess all that talk (even from some of the menfolk) about occasionally liking women to speak up doesn’t mean much, huh?
@SouthernGirl,
Yup, I’m definitely a smiler. I consider myself approachable…I mean, I may not be Susie Sunshine (I’m a daydreamer ..and heavy thinker…so sometimes I can bit out of it), but I’m nice enough for people to approach.
Either he’s ultra shy (perhaps afraid of the embarrassment that I’m worried about when you are bound to see them again) or just not into me. Which, well, of course the not knowing part is aggravating. I’m getting this close to finding out my damn self. I’m sure the right opportunity will come along.
Thanks, ya’ll for your advice (Champ’s glass of haterade not withstanding)!
@The Champ,
LOL. Dayum.
I can kinda relate to Panema’s experience. I mean what do you do when someone expresses deep rooted feelings or an attraction for you?!?!
Last summer, I became friends with a guy that most girls wouldn’t talk to unless it was school related. I’ll admit he was a bit weird but he was a genuine friend and he was someone to just BS with about current events. He and I had gone to a few events together and he’d come to my place for some events I had thrown. I didn’t think much of it because friends hang out and invite each other to stuff. A few of my female friends were suggesting this guy liked me but I ignored it. He finally asked me to dinner and only at this point was it clear to me. He showed up at my door with a tie on. I realized this night was going to be uncomfortable. So we go to dinner and he talks the whole time, even when dinner was over. When we got back to my place, I started to think of what my responses to his confession were going to be. Then he just said IT. He told me how much he liked me and blah blah. I just froze and smiled. I couldn’t leave… I was home. YEAH…hmm. Being a nice and quite intelligent guy, he knew it wasn’t mutual and he helped me with my escape. He simply said he understood that I didn’t feel the same and that being friends was cool. I was STILL standing there like and IDIOT after he had rejected himself. I gave him a quick hug and said goodnight. AKWARD…
@Ivy st.,
“I couldn’t leave… I was home”
AHAHAHAHA!
But just like with PJ, if you saw where it was going (once you saw him suited up) why not mitigate any further damage (not invite him back to the crib)?
@Me fail english?,
Well I didn’t invite him back. He was walking me home. He just walked in behind me. He started talking to the cats (everyone has to talk to the cats when the come over) and I couldn’t say, “Okay leave now.” He was my friend and all.
@Ivy st.,
ricco bennie’s steak sandwich w/ moozarella and gardinara
@WuDaMan,
So you brangin’ me one or what?!?!?
@Ivy St.,
would need to rendzvous in Chicago but could prolly make it
@WuDaMan,
I want a cheesesteak but with real cheese NOT the cheese wiz! Thanks!
Wait, I”ll be in Chicago in October. We can get it then. YUM!
Brang me one from Philly.
@WuDaMan,
Hell, bring me one too. I’m right here near it. lol
@Cheekie,
Send it to Ivy st. in PGH Thanks!
Well if you are near it, then you can send me one.
@Ivy St.,
lol, I walked right into that one. Its just that since WudaMan was offering he might as well kill two birds with one stone.
Intentionally trife or by accident??
Intentionally (CANT BELIEVE I AM SHARING THIS!!) I dated this guy that I did not like until I found out his was a virgin. After I found out I was totally intrigued & had to “devirginize” him lol. After we did the DO, which had to be the most awkward experience ever, I dumped him!
The dumping was his fault though. He ran and told his boys he hit BUT FAILED TO TELL THEM IT WAS HIS FIRST TIME UP TO BAT!! I filled in that blank for them.
Accidental trife….I left my ex boyfriends house late one night because I didnt want to stay there. I lied and told him I had to get up early but I really was trying to catch the end of a party. When I arrived at the party, I called my boyfriend from the car to SAY I was home. At some point during the night, my phone dialed him back & he heard me at the damn party.
@Yaa,
LMAO. Were you a guy in your former life?
@Me fail english?,
lol, yeah. this is totally some stereotypical “guy” trife sh*t
@Yaa,
lo mein chicken
or something w/ pearl noodle
oodan
I don’t know if it’s trife or just life. But when we were younger (read under-grad), there was always a group of *those* men who always want to buy you drinks, take you to the club etc. etc. So we had them on rotation and we’d innie minnie on who to call. Whenever the “lucky” gentleman took all of us out (please keep in mind campus girls travel in flocks), one of us had to take one for the team and converse and talk to him, be seen talking with him (the shame!) and maybe dance (yuck) with the guy.
The trife thing? I NEVER got stuck on that designated ‘talker-to” duty. I always ducked out and was on the dance floor with the other girls and/ or walking around eating chicken in a basket around the club (one french fry at a time- as that was the hotness I kid you not).
I know you can’t pull that isht nowadays as if a guy so much as pours you half of his (rohipnol flavored drink), he’s collecting on at least four s3cksual favors (2 of which are illegal in some states and most African countries).
Ah halcyon days of an era past.
@Wanjiru,
egg foo young
@Wanjiru,
“I know you can’t pull that isht nowadays as if a guy so much as pours you half of his (rohipnol flavored drink), he’s collecting on at least four s3cksual favors (2 of which are illegal in some states and most African countries).”
lolololol. just call me TI cause i am dead and gone at this foolishness…
@Wanjiru,
“eating chicken in a basket around the club”
Elysian Fields…
So I got my heart busted up one of my sophomore years in college. So I decided to get a lil more scientific w/ the date choosing. Decided to delve into the zodiac to pic the one that would give me the best butterflies like my first up close crush A A in fourth grade.
So if you ain’t got the #’s that match you ain’t got a serious shot w/ me. sad to say I just learned about the Indian zodiac. AAAAWWWWEEEE SHYT.
even after you got the #s you got to be all the other stuff from my list o stuff.
so I guess my something shady is not spreadin my love w/ more?
@WuDaMan,
peanut butter jelly sandwich and chicken noodle soup.
@WuDaMan,
I don’t think you can use Zodiac as a way to screen potential mates.
@Ivy St.,
nah I use the quiver of the butterflies in the belly.
@Ivy St.,
n yes I can if I want to. btw this is my something trife.
@cheekie
Look at him and smile. No teeth unless he smiles back. That should be enough. If he knows that eye contact with you is going to result in a smile, that will definitely let him know what’s up. Don’t think much more should be necessary.
Y’all have no idea how easy it is; y’all really don’t have to do much. Too many girls have told me that I took too long to approach, and I’m like, I’m the one doing all the work here; you mean you couldn’t even grudge me a little smile?
Closure is SO overrated.
Most trife? Hmmmm…dating a guy for far longer than I should have who I couldn’t even make myself hold hands with simply because one of his stable of rides was my dream car and he could have it taken to the airport for me so that when I flew into Miami I could drop the top and drive along the coast with a scarf wrapped around my hair and big sunglasses ala Jackie O.
He was a really nice guy.
I later found out that he was only a nice guy to me and that word on the curb was that he was the biggest azzhoplaya there ever was. I didn’t believe the person who told me this initially but then I heard it about 4 more times so I guess it was true. I didn’t feel so bad then and just considered me his karma.
@CreoleInDC,
How does it make you feel to be like the doler out of the justice. Cuz you still got a choice as to weather you want to hit the switch or not. And why was dude such a cad? I mean who is born evl?
oh frosted flakes.
@WuDaMan,
Why must I always have to get out my superhero decoder ring to break down what you are saying?
The weather is nice here. Thanks for asking.
Oh…organic rolled steal cut oats with blueberries, almonds and flax.
CLARIFICATION PLEASE!
@CreoleInDC,
If you were an actor a character in a play where your character has to be the bad guy. Or even if your character was the hero. What do you tell yourself to justify inflicting pain on another person? Cuz the ‘that’s what they get,’ attitude played out w/ jellies n jherry curls.
I’m just saying everybody looks just like a potiential good guy. So why not treat them accordingly?
brie en croute w/ raspberry blood orange reduction and toasted almonds.
@WuDaMan,
Sorry…I gots nothing. My decoder ring went dark.
I didn’t treat him as if he WASN’T a good guy…I just didn’t like him the way he liked me. It happens all the time. Especially when the likee is one of the unfortunate features tribe.
@CreoleInDC,
mh okay.
cherry n cinamon tea
scones w/ lemon curd.
you give on the food battle?
@CreoleInDC,
“The weather is nice here.”
LOL!!
And those “nice guys” usually are giant asshats to every other girl. That’s why it’s rare that someone should really feel bad.
Many moons ago, I was about 19. My then-boyfriend took my little sisters and I bowling. I picked up his phone while he was bowling and noticed that he had a text message from a girl that said “Peek-a-boo, I see you.” I threw his phone down the bowling lane. Packed up my sisters and left his as.s at the bowling alley. Not to mention, the bowling alley was the “niiiice” bowling alley about 20 miles away. He called me repeatedly, but I didn’t answer. I still have no idea how he got back home.
@Reci,
I’d love to leave a man stranded somewhere. Just to show him I would. And also so I would have a good story to tell.
I remember my friend was driving with her on-again, off-again in the backseat and he was cussing her out, being rude. Crazy disrespectful toward her in HER car. What’s worse is her offense was bad driving. She was having trouble staying in the lanes and merging but it wasn’t a personal stab at him!!
She just kept quiet and kept driving. I told him “you better shut up cuz if I was you I’d pull over and leave ya ass on the side of the highway!” Let a ninja talk about he aint gettin out. I’d love to drive his drug carryin self right to the police station and see if they have better luck gettin him out my whip!!
@Reci,
Many moons ago, I was about 19.
when you celebrate your 50th birthday this year, do you want us to send you a free vsb.com baby tee, or a plastic hip replacement joint signed by yours truly?
(Hi, I’m knew here, love the intellectual conversations) Even though I agree it was rude to just walk away and say “thank you”, it was kind of weird for her to say she is in love with Panama. It would have been less awkward if she would have sad “I think you’re cute/hot/sexiest man that has ever walked the planet earth, etc”. Something so emotional as saying you love someone means you have to know them a little IMO.. That must have been more scary to him than flattering. I’m not the most popular with guys but the ones who approach just say they think I’m pretty or want my number but it would scare me for someone who I barely (or don’t) know to say they loved me. A couple of dudes who I didn’t like and asked for my # or asked me out I would just say “maybe next time” or shrug my shoulders. But I admit I do feel bad for this girl, I hope she doesn’t become a lady who collects cats because of this.
@pinksghetti,
you got to admit she was swinging for the fences. What was he supposed to say, ‘Really… Becuase *gulp* I love you too strange chick I hardly pay any attention to.’
welcome and shyt!)
oh brie french toast w/ vanilla iced cream
@pinksghetti,
welcome!!!
*shooting gold stars*
@pinksghetti,
welcome and sh*t
Forgot to add something. We should just remember the words of Bonnie Raitt’s song “I Can’t Make You Love Me if you don’t. I can’t make your heart feel something it won’t.” Words to live by on the real. I remember that song from when I was a kid and it’s kind of something that stuck to me.
Okay, I just remembered another story from my days of youth. I was dating this local guy (street pharmacist extraordinaire) I really liked. It was a friday night and he just offered up the info that he wouldn’t be around that Friday night (as if I asked his ass!). I was like cool cause i had plans anyway.
Wouldn’t you know his punk ass shows up at the same concert that night! After he spotted me he was all in my face but later on dipped off. Come to find out he was another chick’s face too. So me being young (crazy as hell) confronted him and blew the eff up. He hit me with that ol “that’s my sister! wtf is wrong with you” tryna make me look/feel crazier than I already looked/felt.
So I called the cops and told them about all the drugs he had on his person, where he got them from and where he lives. Take that, bytch! It’s not all that trife cuz the lazy ass Phila. PD didn’t even move on the tip. Or if they did, they took long as hell to catch his ass. I stayed “cool” with him afterwards just to see if he’d get dragged out his crib in cuffs. No such luck
@Me fail english?,
ice cold.
Rita’s yesterday’s coffee ground flavor cuz that was a bitter pill.
@Me fail english?, I called the cops and told them about all the drugs he had on his person, where he got them from and where he lives. Take that, bytch!
Da*n that is cold!!! Funny, but cold! LOL
@Me fail english?,
This story is funny. It shouldn’t be, but it is…
Let’s try this once more. My service is being a mark-buster
This was very trife!! Ohhhh I know she was just like “dayum I went out on a limb for THIS fool.” She prob felt EVEN worst gettin played by a self-proclaimed 3! I mean she played the heck out of herself but still…
So P what happened the next time you saw her? Did she shake a chicken bone at you while throwin voodoo hex your way? Or did she just avoid the man who publically trampled her heart? (I’m dying laughing over her. Oooh am I evil on the inside???)
I have several tales of trife…but I’ve had more than my share of trifelicity in return so the karma wheel is aparently balanced.
In college I was friends with this guy but I liked him more as a hang out buddy. His feelings were stronger. Some kind of way we wound up doing the do but I regretted it afterward so I discontinued our doing of the do, but remained friends with him…for some reason I continued to let him sleep over at my house sometimes…. one night I linked up with an old friend (read former cuddy buddy) and relit an old flame with him that led to him staying over and well..the do was done… the next day my other friend came over and went to my room…. he took one look at my bed and immediately realized what had happened the night before…..
I had left a pillow stuffed between my bed and the wall to keep the bed from banging into the wall so my roomate wouldn’t know what was going down…. I had totally forgotten about the pillow and was therefore totally busted with no viable explaination….
my friends feelings were hurt because I guess he thought that I wasn’t sleeping with him for some moral reason or something and not because I wasn’t attracted to him like that….I wasn’t that big on communication back in my collegiate days
but as I said the karma wheel spun back around my way on numerous occasions after that….