Babies Aren’t Birth Control. Day Care Is Birth Control. » VSB

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Babies Aren’t Birth Control. Day Care Is Birth Control.

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There really is no way to prepare for a baby. Not necessarily the baby itself, but the impending change to your life once you become a parent. It’s one of the few instances in life where you may think you know, but you truly have no idea. See, even though they know, show, and care about what happens to you once you have a kid, the experience of being responsible for one FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE is probably the realest shock to life possible.

In case that scared you in any way, it shouldn’t. The truth is, while parenthood is a lot of work, the reward is worth it. Kids are freakin’ adorable. Have you ever held a baby? ZOMG! Babies even give men baby fever. They smile at you and hold onto your pinky  and you feel this overwhelming sense of care and protection, even if the kid isn’t yours.

Case in point, a few months ago, I had to take my son to the hospital to get some shots. I took one of my best friends with me. And I had him hold my son while he was getting his shots. The look of dread and terror on his face (my boy, not my son’s) as my child was screaming and crying because of these ravenous needles piercing his skin amazed me. I’ve NEVER seen my boy look so vulnerable. He looked like it was truly hurting him to have my son, who he was meeting for the first time, get these shots. Babies make you care. Sure you’re glad that you can give them back to their parents but the more you’re around babies, the easier it feels to be around babies. The idea of them isn’t as scary.

Of course, the idea of giving up the freedom to come and go as you please and party all day and night and drink all of the Jameson and all of the mimosas is equally repelling, but the fact is, as you get older and your priorities change it becomes harder to drink all night (and wake up the next morning in tact) and going out to day parties every weekend does get old. The idea of having a little person to raise and love and hug on can be romantic, especially if you have somebody you love and care about to partner on this journey with you. I have heard people say that babies and babysitting are birth control. And while it may delay the process, unless you’re not interested in kids at all, babies themselves tend to have the effect of making you want one of your own.

So let me tell you why you should just Netflix and Chill forever and have the safest sex possible with all the people.

Daycare is a motherfucker.

Listen, babies and kids are great. Having to find somebody to watch them? That’s that bullshit. If you’re like most people, you are not rich. And you also cannot afford for one of you – assuming that there are two of you at the ready in the first place – to quit your job and stay home and watch the baby/babies until they’re old enough to speak and tell you what’s going on. That? That’s the ideal situation. Almost nobody but the rich has the ideal situation. Most of us need our jobs and multiple incomes coming in to take care of the lives we’vc created.

So what this mean is that you’ll fall down the rabbit hole of having to locate some stranger whose entire job it is to convince you that they’re the best option available to take care of your child. Keep in mind, this person will spend more waking hours per day with your child than you will. So this new person at this new facility is going to tell you everything you need to hear, then charge you an arm and four legs for their services which, let’s be real, you’re inclined to want to pay. The belief is that the more you pay, the better quality services.

Either that or you live in New York City or Washington, DC. Since I’m the proud owner of a nearly 8-month-old, I’ve had to do the daycare waltz recently and the prices for day cares was insane. I’ve had people quote me $1,800 per month, which is more than the average mortgage in 40 states (that’s completely unverified).  I’ve seen costs of $1,500 and had somebody tell me that $1,200 was cheap (it was for this area). The race for slots at high quality and regarded day cares exists from day one.

At my job, the waiting list for day care is literally three years long. How do I know this? When my daughter was born, they continued to call me every year to see if I wanted to stay on the waiting list (for a $75 fee) for three years. By the last time they called, I informed them that my child was in school already.

We cool, b.

The financial toll is a bitch. The psychological? Oy vey. Like I said this person is caring for your child for more hours of the day than you are. And all you can do is hope and pray, especially for infants and children that can’t speak, that this person cares as much as they claim and is as diligent as they claim to be. Reading stories of children who die while in the care of their daycare provider breaks my heart every time. Or seeing videos of toddler “fight clubs” orchestrated by people who run day care centers. These are people you pay to look after your child and all you can really do is hope and pray that you lucked into the right situation with the right person(s) who are doing it for the right reasons.

With my daughter, her grandmother provided her care for her first two years of life. And the relief that was has not been forgotten one day since. The only person who loves your kid as much as you do is grandma. But when family isn’t an option and you have to find and determine in one interview and tour if you’ve found a long term solution for your child’s well-being?

Sheiiiiiiiiiit.

That’s enough to make you not want to have kids. It’s going to cost you everything and might give you a nervous breakdown.

Babies? They’re adorbs.

Daycare? That shit is for the birds.

Since you can’t have one without the other (unless you’re rich), just make sure you keep THAT in mind the next time you decide to test fate and your reflexes.

And don’t even get me started on education.

Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly (and gorgeous) for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. He refuses to eat cocaine chicken. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future. You can hit him on his hitter at panamadjackson@gmail.com.

  • Sigma_Since 93

    You ain’t neva lied P. Then you replace those day care cost for that tuition will be in the future and it makes a lifetime supply of jimmy hats look like a sound investment.

    • KMN

      Listen…as soon as I had my little one…I IMMEDIATELY got sterilized…eff the dumb ish…

      And I was lucky enough to have my mother RETIRE EARLY to take care of her only grandbaby…those two are thick as thieves…and my baby at seven is learning how to cook…she better get on Nani’s man catching cornbread dressing lolol

      • QuirlyGirly

        This sounds like my mom and my nephew. Thick as thieves.

        My sister and my mom was play tussling and he got up, growled at my sister and said- “Get off my G-ma” He don’t play when it comes to his GG, He don’t eat lentil bean soup unless his GG made it.

        • KMN

          LMAO my baby does the same thing…there’s certain things she won’t eat unless Nani made it…she takes ‘thank you bites’ and will be done with that ish lmao

      • Pinks

        My kids and I are very blessed in that they have both grandmothers and three great-grandmothers to love up on them. Talk about spoiled!

        • KMN

          yes girl tell it!! My baby has a genetic disease and my mother (who was a nurse) helped PT that child back to health…My little minion is blessed so blessed…

          • Pinks

            Aww that just warmed my cold, dark heart. Nobody loves you like a granny, yo.

            • KMN

              I’m going to have to get us BOTH shrinks when the Lord calls on her…

            • PhlyyPhree

              You know I make jokes about it, but my mother and my daughter are THEEE best of friends. I hate it because I feel like I’m always getting ganged up on and I’ll be shocked as HAYLE if the day ever comes when I can raise my child without every decision being made by committee and then overruled by a dictator, BUT….

              …I’m glad someone else loves my child more than me.

    • Pinks

      My son wants to go to daddy’s all-boy Catholic high school, whose tuition was $9500 as of last year. I want to tell him to aim a little lower lol..jk…but not really.

      • Sigma_Since 93

        When I lived in NY, I was having the same dilemma. The public schools suck and I wanted to send my boys to my Alma Mater. The tuition was like a Tyson two punch combo at 15K for my oldest and $11K for my then pre schooler. Mind you this was ten years ago so you add inflation to those numbers AND that was inclusive of the alumni discount.

        Needless to say we found a decent school district in the burbs before relocating again.

        • Oluseyi

          Bruh. Trying to find my way into Bergen County in NJ before my boy hits the first grade so we have the option of them good public schools! Though there are some decent ones in the city, too, but I ain’t playing over here.

        • PhlyyPhree

          My alma mater starts at PreK….PreK tuition is 11k per year. There is NO alumni discount or scholarship available until 1st grade.
          They told me I could take out a loan.
          I told Kiddo “sorry” and handed her a pack of flash cards

          • Nick Peters

            20k for the 3rd grade

  • Epsilonicus

    Mah ninja!!!

    I did the daycare dance too! Finding something for J-Rock was intense. My former job had a daycare center on campus. 1800 a month plus a two year waiting list. Know what those nukkas told me? Just get a nanny until your spot opens up. What?!?!? If I find a nanny I like, imma just rock with that. I had thought of doing a nanny share with someone,which would have been a 1k a month.

    Finally, my mom has a woman from church watching J-Rock. She used to do her own daycare then became a stay at home wife. Now my parents can just drop in anytime (which they do). She takes him to the park and the library all the time. And my son loves her adult children. Plus its only $100 a week and I don’t get charged for being late (which I am almost always late).

    Once J turns 2 though, we will put him in a center with other kids. It will give him more activities and will help him play nicely with kids his age. For some reason, my child loves older kids but is a bully to kids his age.

    • Sigma_Since 93

      I don’t know what’s worse; being charged a premium because you want better for your child or being charged a premium for child care and the child care center still ain’t ish.

      • panamajackson

        Man, sometimes its best to just not think about it for that very reason.

        • Epsilonicus

          I walked into one and knew immediately that was not an option.

        • Epsilonicus

          There was a daycare I visited while looking for a place for J where a dude tried to break in while I was on tour.

          • What is there of value at a daycare???

            • Epsilonicus

              Lots of learning if the place is good

            • fxd8424

              A former co-worker of mine runs a day care and she is definitely into it. She didn’t return to
              work after her second child was born because the kid had problems at birth. The kids in her daycare aren’t just sitting around watching TV. When they are old enough for school, they are way ahead of their peers. They are computer literate, and she teaches them a second language. One of the pluses of daycare (if it’s done correctly) is kids learn to get along with their peers, share, tie shoes (little things count)

              • Asiyah

                I’d love to open my own day care some day. Love to teach kids.

    • Pinks

      We waited too long to have our kid playing with other kids on a daily basis. He is almost too mature for kids his age, likely because he was around nothing but adults for so long.

      • Epsilonicus

        My child from the jump did not like kids his age. Idk where that came from.

        • Pinks

          lil man been here before

    • CozyVon

      If you qualify, Care 4 Kids is the awesome. Helped me out a LOT while my daughter was daycare age.

  • Pinks

    BREH. BRUH. BREDREN. HERMANO. FRERE.

    This is my life. As I type this, I’m wondering what my cool almost-7-month old is doing, if his nose has cleared up since last night, which kept him waking up every hour just for me to hold him and rock him back to sleep while my own eyes watered and I contemplated why I even had children in the first place.

    My grandmother is with him most of the day, as she was with my other son before he went to preschool at 2, and for that I will always be grateful. Day care at my job is $1500 a month, not including the food you have to send for them since they don’t have a license to prepare it on the premises. My son’s Catholic school tuition is almost $6k a year, which was necessary when he started kindergarten because no NYC public schools would take him at 4, even with specialized testing that showed he was way past that basic curriculum.

    Honestly, I don’t know how we’re even staying afloat at this point. We make it do what it do, but the baby is eating solid food now and our grocery bill is steadily rising with these two mini animals. I now understand why my mother was always claiming broke. She really was.

    • panamajackson

      Babies aren’t even that expensive. It’s everything that comes with them to keep them safe that is expensive. School. Day care. Activities. I understand why we have children for the continuation of the species, and kids rock. But lawdjeefus.

      • Pinks

        Most definitely. Having them is the easy part. Maintaining them is what will turn your hair white prematurely lol

        • Epsilonicus

          So thats where those grey hairs I saw this morning are coming from

      • laddibugg

        Years ago you didn’t have to pay for all this stuff because no one cared how you took care of your kids. Now they can’t even walk across the street alone without a neighbor calling.

      • Guest

        They are only babies for like two years. It’s kids that are expensive. Especially having one that eats as much as you do. You are going to have a man boy in your house very soon.

  • Peaches

    Umm, watching a live NATURAL birth did it for me. I was in the room with my sis, holding a leg with the birth of my nephew. I still don’t have kids. This was 10yrs ago. I’d call that effective birth control.

    • panamajackson

      You know, live birth – and I was present, accounted for, and participatory – in the births of both of my children didn’t bother me not one bit. Then again, nothing that big was coming out of my body, either. LOL.

      • QuirlyGirly

        “nothing that big was coming out of my body”

        LOL- I have seen live birth too and I said the same thing. Nope- I can’t do it.

      • Peaches

        Of course it doesn’t, cause it will never be you w/ an azz out gown on, a room full of your family and a bunch of interns staring at your bits, waiting for it to be stretched beyond belief and a baby to pop out.

        Now for women on the other hand- it’s staring at your inevitable fate if you want kids one day. Shlt gets real in those delivery rooms.

      • BlueWave1

        You’re a trooper. I was there for both of my kids being born. And my wife had “short” labors. I was a wreck. My woman was in gut wrenching pain. Doctors and nurses are buzzing all around me. And all I could do is say “baby it’ll be alright”. That was the most nerve racking, useless feeling experience of my life. I served no purpose being in the room. Yet, there was no way I was NOT going to be in the room. I was a wreck. But I don’t like hospitals. So that’s part of it.

        • Pinks

          I’m sure your woman would agree you absolutely served a purpose. You might’ve been her one solid thing to focus on while the rest of the room was spinning. Hubby was certainly my comfort, especially because he kept the ice in that pink cup on deck. He rubbed my feet, helped me twist my hair (my bantu knots were FRESH for his arrival) and was just the calm through the storm.

          • YeaSoh

            I’m sorry but that was SOOOOO funny… I just had the picture of y’all in there doing hair, twisting bantu knots, on the delivery table… bwahahahaha… I can’t.

            • Pinks

              Sure did lmao

              At one point the doctor on call came to check me and I just lifted up my bottom, still twisting, while this hairy white man had his fingers all in my stuff. There’s no modesty or shame in labor lol

              • YeaSoh

                lol

        • PhlyyPhree

          Lol. This perspective made me laugh, but I’m sure your wife was glad you were there.

      • Dougie

        I’m in the same boat as you. I watched. Didn’t bother me at all. No PTSD for me.

    • Pinks

      I did two live natural births – I got the dee-rugs but i pushed them out so that was NATURAL in my eyes lol – and if it weren’t so spensive, I’d love to have another. Only if I could ensure it was a girl though. I love my boys, but I’m tired of football and feet.

      • QuirlyGirly

        I did two live natural births

        Lordt- you are certainly blessed!

        • Pinks

          There are women who wear the “I did it with no drugs for 78951476487 hours” badge so proudly they need to shame those of us who took the epidural, but I remember every single one of those pushes with both of them. And the episiotomy scars to prove it

          • Guest

            I dont think they do it to shame others. It’s just them reflecting on something hard that they got through. It’s not always about making the next person feel some kind of way. It’s okay to be proud of yourself.

            • Pinks

              Of course some are just reflecting. And then there are definitely others who are in the shaming business, the same way the breastfeeding nazis (not every woman who nurses) are quick to jump on women who formula feed.

              • Question

                Word. The Mommy Wars are exhausting…and completely misguided.

                • Pinks

                  and stupid.

                • CozyVon

                  Amen to that…

            • AlwaysCC

              i was stuck at 8cm for about 6 hours. i ended up getting one because they were talking about c-sections, etc. i’m all for getting the baby here safely, but i’m also not trying to pay all them bills lol

          • CozyVon

            Maaannn, listen–proud induced/epidural/C-section here, lol. After those labor pains hit (24 hrs, only dilated to 4cm–WTF??), I was ready to get up out the bed & hunt down the anesthesiologist, lol. Got that epidural & was CHILLIN’, hear me? If some do it naturally, more power to ’em–but I ain’t got jack to prove to nobody, lol–long as my daughter & I were healthy, we’re good!

            • Pinks

              For the second one, they had him on standby because I was starting to waiver in my commitment to drug free lol..I got to the hospital at 5cm dilated after having strong contractions in CVS and was all “Here’s my birth plan, yadda yadda.”

              That all went out the window when I got to 7cm in 20 minutes and it was almost too late to give me the shot.

      • Peaches

        Lol my sis just had her second son (10lbs 3oz) and was really hoping for a girl. After that hellish delivery she has given up her dreams of pink barrettes and ruffle socks.

        • Pinks

          sssshhhheeeiiiiittttttttttttt…he was dang near a toddler at birth!

          • Peaches

            Indeed! My nephew’s a chunkster. He’s exactly twice the size his older brother was at birth. After 20+ hrs of labor + pitocin + drugs, he got stuck and she had to have an emergency cesarean https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f1526c181062607c63ec8560c37a8f61d5db2bbe1e66fe7022381eb00be87bdf.jpg

            • Pinks

              Awww he look like a Thanksgiving turkey! Bless his lil chunky self…I bet his leg rolls are delicious to nibble on

              • Peaches

                Thanks! He’s adorable! He’s also the reason I’m glad I’m not going home for Thanksgiving because I’m the oldest w/ no kids still and everybody is looking at me like

                “So what YOU waiting on?”

                • Pinks

                  Tell em you’ll birth when they come up off that inheritance. That should quiet the screams for a while lol

                  • Peaches

                    Lol yes indeed! Like if y’all start giving generously to the future baby trust then we can get the wheels rolling.

                • CozyVon

                  I’d be like, “…waiting on YOU to fund all the food, clothing, education, etc….I take cash, PayPal & money orders…”

                  • Cleojonz

                    Hey girl hey!

                    • CozyVon

                      Hey, girl! I see you…:-D

            • Cleojonz

              Awww, he’s beautiful Peaches!

              • Peaches

                Thanks! And good God! Y’all get my full respect w/ these whooper babies.

            • Dmaclee

              That’s my story. I labored for three days, two of them at home. Got to the hospital expecting a quick delivery. Water never broke. Kid got stuck. Emergency c-section on deck. When he came out, the nurse said that I gave birth to a toddler. He was 10.01 lbs.

            • fxd8424

              And maybe it’s me, but a cesarean is no joke.

              • Ohhhhh, it’s not just you. That cut is serious.

                • CozyVon

                  My daughter’s 9 & mine still itches when it’s finna rain, lol.

                • fxd8424

                  Not the cut so much. I got the bikini cut but the aftermath is something I still shudder about and my baby is 39. Lol. . . . I used to look at the women that had the natural births and wonder if I’d ever function again.

            • *dissolves into hormones*

            • CozyVon

              He is just big and ADORABLE! Just all, “You cain’t HAVE my cornbread!” big, LOL! ;-)

              Bigger newborns are the cutest, IMO–they’ve bypassed all the squishy wrinkliness that causes a lot of babies to have to grow into their looks, lol.

        • Ten pounds?! Good gawd, he came out ready to apply for a job.

        • Cleojonz

          **Waving hand – 10lb 5 oz. here.*** When my husband was at the nursery he was talking to a dad who’d just had twins. He told him our baby was his two combined lol.

          Her sister was 9lb 5 oz.

          • CozyVon

            Giirrlll…I remember alladat–your girls were some bigguns at birth!

      • Erica Nicole Griffin

        Meanwhile, my girl gave birth in her car. Literally in the front seat of her Honda Pilot. Hubby was driving to the hospital but they had waited too long and before he could get there she took off her jeans and snatched a little girl from her… well. Later she said it was a much easier and much less painful delivery than with the docs. Of course, no drugs. So, I guess it depends on the lady, the situation, and the car.

        • Pinks

          lawwwdddddddd in the car? I wonder what THAT detailing bill looked like lol

          As long as they get here healthy and in one piece, we are ALL warriors!

          • Erica Nicole Griffin

            She swears it was easier than the other birth. In her opinion the doctor/nurse intervention added to her discomfort. Iono cuz I haven’t been there yet but she has a compelling case for being the top authority on getting what it is you want – no one else’s plan need be your plan.

        • YeaSoh

          You know what, something similar happened to my sister with my niece… except she made it to the hospital, but she was too late to get any drugs. Had to do the whole thang drug free smh. Anyway, she said her body went numb and she didn’t feel a thing no way.

          • Question

            Co-signing. I did it without drugs and the labor contractions were muuuuuuuch worse than the pushing. Muuuuuuuuuuch worse.

            • Guest

              Feels like Freddy Krueger is slowly scraping your insides with claws shaped like a melon baller.

              • Question

                …over and over and over and over and over again.

                And each time, just a littttttttttttle slower…

      • Question

        Girl, its still natural. Claim that! You pushed them babies out, and you did it your way. Drugs or no drugs, labor is no joke.

        • Pinks

          I thought I would be completely pain free with the drugs. HA! I still felt both of them coming out, but it was more discomfort than pain. The second one tore me up with his linebacker shoulders and I will never forgive him every time I get nervous before a sneeze lol

          • Question

            That’s the thing. For half the Momma’s, the drugs don’t even work the way they are supposed to.

            I dunno, labor is such a crapshoot, having been through it, I’m just proud of us women that we make it through.

        • fxd8424

          Anyone who has more than one baby has all my respect. I escaped the pain of labor (thank God), but had a C-section because of fetal distress (she stopped breathing, heart stopped twice) and was larger than they thought (this was before ultrasound) and I was smaller. C-section recovery was a bitch. So needless to say, she’s an only child.

        • CozyVon

          Hell–if you grew that baby for 9 months, it’s natural, lol!

    • KMN

      See being two weeks late AND going thru 51 hours of labor and finally getting a C section (four doses of petosin (sp??) two epidurals and one demerols later) AFTER I told me doctor I wanted to be in a cold sterile operating room…I wanted an epidural and a demrol and once I woke up I wanted a snipped, clipped, washed, powdered, hated, mittened, clean baby that you could pass to me…

      Child ended up in NICU for two days, I was in the hospital for seven, Mini me for four…and I’m STILL Waiting to dilate those other seven cms….eff child birth

      • Pinks

        You the real MVP. My boys must’ve known I’m a punk because they were both four-hour labors with pretty quick dilation. I tried to do it epidural-free both times and failed both times

        • PhlyyPhree

          My daughter did her own thang.
          Homegirl literally slid into the world on MY birthday with no effort or pushing from me after 68 hours of labor.
          Honestly, except for the fact that I was exhausted because I’d been awake for 68 hours, it wasn’t bad at all. I got an epidural, but only at the end because I told the doctor wasn’t NOBODY having NO BABY until I got some sleep.
          3 hours later, I went to sit up into position and she just dropped her merry self out.
          My sister had jokes about that, but eh, I didn’t have to get an episiotomy so Iaincare!

          • Pinks

            So she basically said DEEZ NUTZ to your birthday and made it all about her. I’m not even mad at lil PP. That’s the definition of #thuglife

            • PhlyyPhree

              That is EXACTLY what she did. I mean, I already lost Christmas because clearly, no one cares about your Christmas as an adult, but my whole entire birthday too???
              Like, more people wished her happy bday on fb last year than me (yes I counted, and?) and I was verklempt. I need someone to care about meeeeeee

              • Pinks

                Nah I’d fight that chick every day of her life. You want cereal? Eat spit! Oh, your feelings are hurt? DID YOU THINK OF MY FEELINGS WHEN YOUR RAGGEDY BEHIND SHOWED UP ON MY BIRTHDAY?

                • PhlyyPhree

                  LOL!!!!
                  I want to…but she’s so sweet. We got in the car this morning and she said “Mommy, I love you 87 53 46 95 hundred much”
                  And all I could say was “Oh. Well I like you too little person.
                  Then she punked me for my phone so she could watch netflix all the way to work.

          • I’m really not trying to have a child on my birthday. That’s so rude of your daughter to be so petty like that!

            • Pinks

              SO petty. She could’ve come a whole three days earlier but she sat her shady boots self in that womb until she was good and ready.

            • PhlyyPhree

              As soooon as I got my due date, I talked to her, in vitro, EVERY DAMN DAY. I told her she could come the day before my birthday or the day AFTER my birthday, just not ON my birthday. I told her that I would go ahead we’d go to Disney when she was five, she could get that horse when she was 10 AND I’d put the down payment on her first car at 16 if she just waited 24 hours.
              Homegirl came at 3 in the morning so I can’t even skip time zones and have the day to myself.

            • Button and Bean have the same due date ?. I bet not have Button on her bday or Bean will never forgive me lol

              • PhlyyPhree

                LOL. Tell Bean what they told me “This is the most special birthday gift you’ll ever receive in your whole life; I gave you a PERSON for your birthday!”

              • Lol was Bean early or late?

                • Bean was early, on 3/8. I’m due 3/12 (again).

                  • I was due 3/17 and came on 3/11.

                    I’m pushing for Button to come on my birthday :-) Yay for Pisces girls!!!

              • AlwaysCC

                i was prepared to lie to my son (for at least 16 years) if he was born on my birthday. luckily, he wasn’t lol

          • fxd8424

            Where do you live that they would allow 68 hours of labor? WOW is all I can say.

            • Epsilonicus

              Depends. If it is just slow and nothing is wrong, hospitals just let it come along on its own.

              • fxd8424

                Not here in Philly. They give you something to move it along cause they got places to be and things to do.

            • PhlyyPhree

              I went to the hospital and they sent me home, which I REALLY thought was something that only happened in the movies, because althought I was having contractions, I was only dilated a few centimeters and I refused to let them break my water and induce me.

      • Bless you, woman

        • KMN

          thank you ma’am!! And congrats on your new little one!! Button and Beans…that’s so cute :) I call my baby my minion and she responds with “and nobody else’s mommy” makes my heart melt lol

      • Guest

        I went into congestive heart failure and my twins went home with my mother after two days, but I had to stay in the hospital for a month after. Unfair.

        • KMN

          OMG that’s horrible!!! I’m so glad you came out of it…with twins to boot…you’re the MVP…I got twins…technically…she’s a Gemini lmao

      • PDL – Cape Girl

        My kid was NICU for a month

        • KMN

          OMG what happened…what was wrong…
          See this is why I’m thankful for all the blessings…small and large…

          • PDL – Cape Girl

            Came early, liver not developed, had to have a little stomach pumped. All kinds is issues. My mama broke out in prayer right there in the delivery room…..Lol. She kept asking what’s wrong, because you could feel it, and nobody would answer her soooo she did what she knew best. Prayer!

            • KMN

              See your mother is a child of God because my momma? MY MOMMA?!?!!! she snapped the ENTIRE eff out LMAO!!! She’s a nurse right? Me and Lil Minion were in distress…and she snapped…she told the dr: let me tell you something…this is my only child and my only grandchild. they have been sitting here for entirely too long. Now I’m about to go outside and have a cigarette. And when I get back, I expect y’all to be prepping her for a C-section. Because if you don’t every em effing dollar yall make…I’m going to collect $0.99 of it.”
              Girl when my momma came back from her smoke break they had her some scrubs and a hat ready to go and all I remember was telling the dr not to put anything over my face and waking up in time to see them holding my baby up over the sheets like Kizzie from Roots ROFLOLOL!!!!
              But I hope Lil PDL is well and striving!!! That’s a blessing and so is your mom…Lord what would we do without them.

              • PDL – Cape Girl

                I.LOVE.IT! Your mom is too cute….gon ‘head and let ’em know! And THAT is the question, where would we be without our moms to support us?? Dontcha just love ’em?
                My mini me is doing well. I wish the same for your sweetness :)

                • KMN

                  Listen I get chastised errday because of my potty mouth…I just tell them I’m an ANGEL compared to Momma KMN LOLOL!!!! But if it weren’t for her…I wouldn’t have made it I tell you. And I pray that I’ve learned enough from her to be the same way with Lil Minion. And I’m so glad Lil PDL is ok!!! That’s a blessing…and thank you! She’s doing better and is currently at home helping Nani cook TGiving right now lol

                  • PDL – Cape Girl

                    Awwww, that’s sweet. Mama PDL is gone on, but I have memories. Enjoy it to the fullest while you can

    • LyricMeThis

      LISTEN!! Women wanting natural child birth have got to be in the ZONE lol. I have seen many a woman realize that she was not bout it only to realize it was too late. If I ever have kids epidural will be definitely be on board.

      • Cleojonz

        True! I had my second daughter completely naturally – but not on purpose, I was there to settle in with that epidural and hunker down for a few hours of relaxed labor. That little heifer had other plans so when the doctor checked me it was too late for help. I will say though that the recover is SOOOO much better without all that stuff in your system.

    • Guest

      Meh it’s just one day.

      • Peaches

        However, the recovery can take weeks depending on the level of damage done during your delivery. Even more complications for women who have c-sections

        • Guest

          I’m talking about normal vaginal child birth. Surgery is a different beast all together.

          • Peaches

            You never heard of tearing?

            • Guest

              You don’t have to do the childbirth war thing with me. My stories would make all these other stories seem like a walk in the park. And yes I have heard of tearing. They got a pair of scissors and cut me from my vaggina down to my annus so the tearing stopped. Because of the scar I don’t have to get bikini waxes there anymore. That was more like uncomfortable….in the grand scheme of things.

              • PDL – Cape Girl

                I didn’t tear, I was cut though. I did tear when they pushed the beast out during my hysto

        • fxd8424

          I don’t even want to talk about my C-section.

        • CozyVon

          I’m probably one of the few women that had a C-section & was like, “Meh–not that bad!” True, it does feel like you’ve done like, 1000 situps in a row–but I think what helped was that I stayed active throughout my pregnancy, plus in the hospital I made sure to get up & walk around. Upsides of a C-section (and probably TMI)–at least the stuff down there is still tight! (Too much??? My bad, lol…;-)

      • So is getting shot.

        • Guest

          No it’s not lol…..our body is made for having babies if we choose to have em….just gotta go in there and knock it out.

        • PDL – Cape Girl

          CACKLES!

    • MissG

      I was also present at my sis’ natural childbirth…accidental as it was. The doc came in & told her she got there too late for any pain killers. She hit that resounding “NOOOOOOO” in slow motion & I let out a cackle heretofore unheard of. She just started speaking in more than one word answers to me again.

    • C’est Nicki, La Belle

      I gave birth to twins naturally… I would have 3 more kids if I could afford it! I thought pregnancy and childbirth were both pretty awesome.

  • laddibugg

    Thank God my folks will be watching our impending bundle of joy. We’ll be paying them a small fee but nowhere near what an actual daycare would charge.

  • Question

    …just make sure you keep THAT in mind the next time you decide to test fate and your reflexes.

    Word.

  • MissusMaxwell

    Gospel! My son is now 12 and I still tell people how blessed I was that he stayed home with Granny for the first 18mos of life. That daycare dance is no friggin joke. And don’t think the drama stops when the child is old enough for school, because summer camps are a real racket! Can’t leave ’em at home all day, they gotta go somewhere, and all of these places know this and wanna charge car note prices on a weekly basis!

    • Pinks

      Right! And then my kid’s summer camp had THE UNMITIGATED GALL to send home a “tipping sheet guideline” in case we wanted to tip the counselors, directors, bus drivers, etc. They suggested $40 PER WEEK tips for Directors. I was so offended.

      • MissusMaxwell

        Tip? Say huhn wha? Tip?! After I send a car note a week PLUS additional funds for a specialty camp week AND the snacks and lunch I STILL gotta provide and some mofos out here talmbout a muh’fuggin TIP?! Awwwwwww hayles naw!

        • Pinks

          Disrespectful! We did give a lil something to his bus counselor though, because plenty of days she waited patiently while I got the boy out the door with the infant strapped to my bewb lol. Those teenagers aren’t making much anyway, but the director? Whom I never see? She wants a tip? Kiss mi rass!

      • Amber

        I’m offended for you. That’s crazy. I dont have children but summer is always family time for my nieces and nephews their parents will shuffle the kids around from grandparents to aunts and uncles to keep from paying the summer camps rates.

        • Pinks

          That’s the definition of having a village to help you raise your kids. Mine have never been watched by anyone who wasn’t family (except in school) and I can’t be more grateful for that. Some people are really doing it alone.

      • JanuaryBabe

        Tips? Are you serious? I would have called State Board on them!!!! ……You still can! That sounds like blackmail! I would get all the parents together and revolt! Parents have rights too!!!!

    • panamajackson

      Man, the summer struggle is gon’ be so real. It’s just another one of those things nobody thinks about in the calculus of children.

      • MissusMaxwell

        And just when you finish with the summer camp racket, you get that long azz list of ‘necessary’ school supplies. I told my husband that if he wanna find a sugah mama, I’d be cool with that. I just gotta approve the set days to meet. *so serious*

      • Guest

        I did. Rich dads FTW.

  • 1. Panama has like the cutest son ever.

    2. Me and AP were looking up the costs of daycare and any schooling prior to college and Naw. Nope. My children is just going to go to the best public and then have a bunch of out of school extracurricular activities.

    • KMN

      This…even the afternoon ‘daycare’ at a PUBLIC school is like 750 a year or more.

      My child at seven is currently in chess, girl scouts, violin and piano…and when she gets older and her leg gets better…you going back to dance…because that’s 400 a YEAR vs the arm leg and first born daycares want

      • Oluseyi

        That’s cheap. $90/week for aftercare with NYC’s universal pre-K. Still about $50 less (per week) than what we paid last year for straight daycare in Jersey, so I ain’t mad.

        • KMN

          that is INSANE…I’m so sorry lol…I thought I was a victim of highway robbery lol

          • Oluseyi

            Everything around here is high. It just comes with the territory. My rent is considered a steal at $2,040.

            • KMN

              whaat?!!! that’s like a full four bedroom house with a garage rent here…but then again I’m in Wisconsin so…

              • Oluseyi

                I’m not even in NYC. I went house hunting earlier this year; studios in Chelsea were $3100 and up. For that price I could find 1-bedrooms in the nicer parts of Brooklyn. And I have a 2-bed, 2-bath with washer, dryer and parking. People give me daggers when I share my rent, even if I’m across the river!

                • KMN

                  yeah I’m going to stick with the cheeseheads and cows because that right there hurts ALL of my feelings lol…damn that’s like 7/8s of my monthly bills…

                  • Oluseyi

                    I ain’t mad atcha. I’m kinda tired of NYC sometimes, but my situation has me anchored so I just get over it. Though I’d definitely pick some place warm if I moved: it’s like I hit 30 and remembered that I’m from the tropics!!

                    • KMN

                      shoot go back lmao…I’m from the south and love those warm winters but I like cool summers…so meh lmao I’m basically screwed lolol

                    • Oluseyi

                      Don’t think I haven’t thought about it! LOL.

                    • KMN

                      ROFL think harder son…think harder lolol

                    • Oluseyi

                      I can’t be far from my kid. I’m across the river as it is; I miss waking up every morning to his smile. Maybe when he goes to college.

                      Ok, maybe when he graduates college! :-)

                    • KMN

                      ok i’ll give you that. but count them years DOWN lolol

    • Pinks

      Don’t even get me started on summer camp. That is the biggest money sucker ever! They know parents need to send the kids somewhere, unless they’re in the teaching profession, so they charge these astronomical rates and we’re forced to pay them.

      • Ari

        After the first year of summer school, I saved for the entire next year to ensure that I could pay for summer camp. $150 to $400 per week is not for the faint of heart.

        • Guest

          The summer camps here take the kids to Magic Mountain, Universal Studios, Knott’s Berry farm, the Science Center, Raging Waters, all places I hate going. So it’s totally worth the 180 a week, and I don’t even work outside the home.

          • Ari

            The summer camps do all of that for us here in Florida too so that we can feel better about handing over our coin. Five years of summer camp savings and I still let out a small whimper every time I have to hand over that check. But he one thing I can say is that after all is said and done, my child will be one well-rounded kid.

            • Guest

              They get the memories and I avoid the awful crowds.

        • Pinks

          I thought I’d do that, but there’s always something new to pay for it seems lol. If it’s not a new game, it’s a pair of sneakers because he’s outgrown the ones we just bought two months ago

          • Ari

            At the end of the day, there’s always parental guilt. My parents won’t hesitate to pay for coding and app design camps…I figured out how to be strategic two summers ago. Because black kids must learn to code starting at age 7.

            • Pinks

              I want to send him to an academic camp this year. Last year he was black as onyx from being in the sun and the pool, which was great, but I want him to have more of a focus this summer because school will only get more challenging down the line.

      • Cleojonz

        For the really exclusive camps it’s more for 8 weeks in the summer than a whole year of day care. It’s crazy!

      • AlwaysCC

        and THEN they have the nerve to have school hours and charge extra for “after hours” which they know you need because you work. #highwayrobbery

      • Summer camp is that BS. It kills the budget.

      • Sigma_Since 93

        PREACH Pinks!!! *Waves church fan in approval*

    • -h.h.h.-

      2. Me and AP were looking up the costs of daycare and any schooling prior to college and Naw. Nope. My children

      i think you meant “Our children”…

      *goes back to work* *turns alert off*

      https://images.rapgenius.com/01ebe20fab1558ebb9d8e66adefc133d.500x372x25.gif

    • panamajackson

      Thanks. I’ll let the #YoungBasGawd know he got a compliment on VSB.

    • I thought we settled on a nice Charter school? I can’t have our seeds going to school with the public school cretins! Also, did we decide on Mandarin as their preferred second language? I was hoping your mother would just have to teach them Spanish since YOU can’t carry that burden.

      • -h.h.h.-

        i see your usage of the plural personal pronoun, “we”.

        interesting.

        *drinks his coffee*

      • QuirlyGirly

        LOL -Malik said MY children and AP is say WE and OUR. LOL

        • Malik needs lots of hand holding when it comes to things that are shared. He’s extremely selfish.

          • QuirlyGirly

            @Malik- you have to learn to share. You didn’t have them kids by yourself- LOL

      • I love charter school! Private school education on the taxpayer dime. Though I want to go private when my daughter hits junior high age.

        • If I’m blessed to be able to afford it, I also want my child to be able to do private school for high school. I need for college to be paid in full by said college.

          • AlwaysCC

            it’s interesting you said that. i have always thought the same thing. but speaking to several people who have paid (basically a college tuition) for high school has revealed that their kids ain’t getting free rides to college. i didn’t want to insult them by asking how/why not?…

            • I’d assume scholarship criteria isn’t being met. I can only speak for myself, but I had to score in about the 90th percentile or above on the SAT/ACT in order to get the money I got from my school. I took both of said tests multiple times in order to score as high as possible because I knew that as long as I made the scores, I had the GPA necessary to walk away with a free education. I was also lucky enough to be a student athlete in high school and my school offered minority athletes a rigorous Saturday academy that did SAT prep with us

              No amount of private schooling is going to ensure that your child sees scholarship monies but it will ensure that you probably get accepted to the school of their choice.

              • AlwaysCC

                that was also my assumption. i was just thinking why did you pay all that money for high school? what advantage did you get (if any)? i *thought* (and i could be COMPLETELY off since i don’t have kids nearly old enough yet) the privilege of private school was the extra resources to advance your education (and GPA) and test prep to help you score better on those tests.
                It really made me question their ROI for 4 years of private school lol

                • Lol my entire push for private school is the opportunity for better teaching, resources, and testing boosts. If my child isn’t breezing through standardized tests then I wasted my money.

                • Epsilonicus

                  Private school also pays off in the social bennies when it comes time to find work post-college

                  • AlwaysCC

                    that’s a good point. i guess it would depend on the private school. that’s what i used college for.

  • Nick Peters

    I worked a summer at a Jumpstart and I’m cool on kids for a good while…when my kids are in college guess where they are spending one summer

    • Cleojonz

      Probably they should do it earlier lol.

  • uNk

    So I remember this pregnancy scare I had with an ex. She was so ready to start preparing for things. Started listing off everything that will have to paid for, including daycare. I got depressed for like a week.

    • Brass Tacks

      Shi will scare the living daylights out of you.

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