***as written in the champs new contract, from now on, at least once a month the champ will directly respond to a question that was sent to the champs email address. the champ doesn’t really enjoy doing this, but since it’s in the champs contract, the champ will continue to do this because the champ has made it known that the champ will do things that the champ doesnt really enjoy doing, as long as there’s money involved. the champ is a whore. btw, if you haven’t noticed, theres also a clause in the champs contract disallowing pronouns.***
being that you’re a movie buff, i wanted to ask you a simple question: out of all the movies that you’ve seen, champ, which one had the strangest, most inane plot? i’m not asking for the worst movie, just a premise that made you wonder “what the f*ck were they smoking…and where can i get some of that sh*t for myself??”
for me,it would have to be “underworld“. think about it: a bunch of underwear model slash werewolves and vampires running around with capes, diesel jeans, and doc martens, speaking in old english but with australian accents and shooting each other with assault rifles. just completely weird, but, for some reason, it kind of works.
be easy
–t.j.
thanks t.j.
as you know, the champ is an expert in myraid capacities. from how to achieve the perfect standing “o” to orbitofrontal cortex hypoactivation, i am the master of many domains, and one of said domains is obscure movie knowledge. if you haven’t seen it, you can bet that the champ has.
with that being said, after racking my brain and “teasing the midget” clearing my thoughts, one movie stands out more than anything else. one movie with a premise so absurd, so inane, so inconceivably inconceivable that…well…it just leaves you speechless.
this is a movie about an undead black former slave/serial killer who only attacks white women.
please re-read that last sentence three times, just so you fully grasp the levity of that statement.
go ahead. i’ll wait.
done yet? ok.
an undead black former slave/serial killer who was “murdered” 100 years ago by a swarm of bees that he still occasionally carries around in his throat. an undead black former slave/serial killer who they say will only appear if you say his name in a mirror five times, but somehow always finds a way to circumvent that little rule.
yes, faithful readers and concubines, i’m talking about the one and only…
…candyman,
seriously…just take a moment to think about this. a black former slave serial killer who only haunts snizzles???? how the hell did this movie even get made? who green-lighted this sh*t? and how many wangs did the producer have to hold in his mouth to get this sh*t through?
can you imagine a producer going to an executive meeting trying to pitch this premise?
producer: “so, yeah…at the end of the flick, they’re gonna have a giant bonfire in the middle of cabrini-green, and i’d really like the blonde protagonist to be butt naked, and to get all of her hair burned off. that would be perfect”
exec one whispering in exec two’s ear: “who the hell is this guy, how the hell did he get into our building, and why haven’t we called security yet??”
exec two, whispering back: “ummm…this is the security guard. remember we said we’d allow him to pitch a movie to us as long as he kept the “sticky stockings incident” under wraps.”
exec one: “dammit! wouldn’t it just be cheaper to have him murdered???”
exec two: “we’ve already killed two security guys this quarter. a third might get the cops suspicious. your ass just needs to leave those baby goats alone? let him make his flick. with any luck, one of the coloreds in cabrini-green will murder him while they’re filming anyway”
how come i’ve never heard of anybody picketing a showing of “candyman“? “friends” would get protests and angry emails during their run because they didn’t have enough black characters (save for b.a.a.t. ***bad ass aisha tyler***), but a movie about a crazy black ex slave haunting white women somehow slips through the cracks like a fart in a stiff fall wind?
and, to make matters worse, the movie was actually scary, lol. sh*t, i’m 29 years old with a nice 403b and i’ll be a great uncle soon (seriously), and you still wont catch my black ass saying “candyman” five times in front of no freakin mirror, lol. i’m not taking that chance, i’m sorry. call me a b*tch if you like, but i’m just not too keen on getting impaled and disembowed by some 6’10 former slave thirsty for some white “gotdamn”
anyway though, excessively “gasfermating” joyous people of vsb, how would you have answered that question? whats the weirdest, strangest, and most inane movie you’ve ever seen and am i the only one still scared to say candyman five times in the mirror?
—the champ
memento and the butterfly effect are two that spring to mind… the whole messing with the time/space continuum (pardon me, i just started watching heroes) makes my head hurt. memento was an excellent movie and guy pearce is a brilliant actor, but i hate when i don’t have a clear moment of clarity at the end of a movie where i can feel all smart and whatnot cos i understood what was going on.
the butterfly effect was just nuts – how the heck does a baby strangle itself in the womb with its umbilical cord? that’s just freaky and wrong. i call more people for ashton kutcher.
Dang puff Momento was mine too.,.. LOL that shyt was crazy
yeah…but i still liked it. man guy pierce was on my list after that one…
yeah it was good though but on another note I understood and loved the butterfly effect.. makes you respect the present..you know.. Back to the future had a wild premise as well
see, i soooo could not get with the butterfly effect. i really wanted to like it but i think i erased half of it from my memory cause all i remember is thinking, wtf?!?!
exactly! i was extra salty too cos i watched it on my birthday… and i hate when people make me work my brain rather than my liver on my birthday.
Ha! I loved “Butterfly Effect”. I actually love movies that deal w/time travel because that is the one super power I really wish I had. I’d rather have it like Hiro Nakamura though…not all that nose-bleeding and pain like Ashton Kutcher’s character in “Butterfly Effect”.
memento is actually one of my favs as well, even though you hafta suspend reality a bit too much to follow the flick.
and yeah, after that flick, i thought guy pierce was on track to becoming the next harrison ford, but now he seems to be wallowing in tim hutton territory. he needs a new agent
ohhh i loved the butterfly effect! although i was left feeling really weird…
oh but the hills have eyes? that made me wish i was the baby in the womb from the butterfly effect strangling myself! that was THE worst movie ever!!!
“although i was left feeling really weird…”
this is exactly how i felt after 8th wonder and i, ummm, “spent time” together
““although i was left feeling really weird…”
this is exactly how i felt after 8th wonder and i, ummm, “spent time” together”
I felt weird too.
And by weird I mean utterly unsatisfied.
Jesus be a V8.
Okay if you walkin sideways Champ layed you down and you cain’t get up. Funny none the less.
Wu, grown folks are talking right now, baby.
**raspberries** I just didn’t get it.
“Spun”, (with Brittany Murphy, John Leguizamo, Mickey Rourke,, etc.), this movie was f*cking bananas, but I guess what would I expect from a movie about meth dealers and users. This movie is a two hour long drug trip fo sheezy…..
also honorable mentions (but all movies that i actually like):
The Funniest outrageous plot twists with bad cinematography award goes to “Clerks”
The awful weird plot with great cinematogaphy and famous rappers award goes to “Belly”
The too many story lines in one movie award goes to: “Soul Food”
*dapz on Belly* i totally agree on that one.
The too many story lines in one movie award goes to: “Soul Food”
i’m sorry, but i hafta give this award to “she hate me”. its like spike was trying to make six movies in one
“belly” will always hold a warm spot in my heart just because meth’s character “ike love” was supposed to be from pittsburgh, and said one of my favorites lines in the history of cinema…
“i roll dolo from state to state”
“she hate me” was a truly horrible movie, spike ought be ashamed of that one.
Agreed.
““she hate me” was a truly horrible movie, spike ought be ashamed of that one.”
Any movie where Dania Ramirez lets it hang out is good with me . . . Im just sayin.
lmao!!!
Awwe man I liked ‘she hate me’ Maybe I was just feeling it @ the time but he had 19 chilerens. 19 is my favorite number. And it wasn’t like he wasn’t hittin qality boots. Okay some shoulda got the nay no but ah well. I liked it.
“And it wasn’t like he wasn’t hittin qality boots”
seriously, he should have just titled it “hittin qality boots” and made it a p*rno…for dyslexics.
Maybe so. But I got a soft spot for parents. And I have the capacity to understand the most convoluted of storries.
“And I have the capacity to understand the most convoluted of storries.”
I am absolutely convinced that this is true.
My favorite “Belly” lines are:
Sincere: Yo, when’s the last time you read anything, man?
Tommy: Never, motherf*kcer.
My favorite “Belly” lines are:
Sincere: Yo, when’s the last time you read anything, man?
Tommy: Never, motherf*kcer.
LOL… shorty can’t eat no books.
The too many story lines in one movie award goes to: “Soul Food”
yeah for me that award either goes to Higher Learning or She Hate Me. and actually, i think She Hate Me is the runaway winner. i mean you had lesbians, Congress, the SEC, the pharmaceuticals industry, suicide, stock fraud, diabetes, bad acting, Q-Tip, and the completely unrealistic union of two lesbians deciding to live their lives with a man as the father of their kids. oh yes, and Watergate. who could forget Watergate making an appearance.
and um, Belly is a great movie. except its not a movie, its an extended play music video. thank you.
lmao @ bad acting
She Hate Me is about EVERYTHING! I still likedid it though.
I have never seen Candyman. Growing up in Chicago in the 90s, Cabrini Green was a horror movie already. I coulda watched the news for that. Never realized the plot was that insane! Hollywood slips in it’s commentary about the percieved Black male tendency to prey upon White women, and we don’t even notice.
Never realized the plot was that insane! Hollywood slips in it’s commentary about the percieved Black male tendency to prey upon White women, and we don’t even notice.
sis t, you need to see this, for no other reason than the fact that the last 45 minutes of the movie alone would probably give you enough material for like twenty 700 word blogs
“and um, Belly is a great movie. except its not a movie, its an extended play music video. thank you.”
seriously, how you feel about belly depends on the context, because its either one of the most inane movies of all time…or the best music video thats ever been created. theres no in-between
um…my answer isn’t all that deep or anything, but ‘no country for old men’ left me feeling dry. i mean, it may not be the movie with the most inane plot of all time, but…i could use cliff notes.
i definitely feel you on this one. i watched it twice and was still like “what good is my graduate career if i can’t even decipher a movie plot?” lol
i had similar question marks about There Will Be Blood, Sweeney Todd, and well just about the entire list of Oscar nominees from this year.
lol i loved sweeney todd, although i won’t lie, i burst out laughing in the middle of the theatre when johnny depp started singing… which was awkward as i saw it in one of those shady cinemas only old folk seem to frequent and they sell “brownies” instead of popcorn and nachos. still yet to see there will be blood, although i heard it’s some crazy a$$ sh*T.
lol yeah the singing totally threw me off. i wasn’t ready. who knew thrillers and musicals could be paired?? oh right–we can blame that on MJ.
i loved no country for old men, but it’s only after reading the book and the yeats poem that the title comes from that i can say i get it.
sidenote – josh brolin could get it. and javier bardem sans the bowl cut.
josh brolin?? maybe. javier bardem?? not ever.
reverse this and i’m all on it. still haven’t seen that movie though. when i do i’ll be sure to bring my questions back to ya’ll.
I didnt really get the end but the overall movie I understood perfectly… what I didnt really get was the tie in to the Yeats poem…..
the end was the problem for me too. i couldn’t understand why it ended the way it did. the movie wasn’t hard to follow (drugs, murders, greed–got it), but i didn’t see the significance or reasoning of where the plot was going.
I just wanted to know if ole girl made it. She refused to answer Bowl Cut’s twisted little pre-killing question.
Yeah, Josh Brolin could definitely get it.
“I just wanted to know if ole girl made it. She refused to answer Bowl Cut’s twisted little pre-killing question”
she definitely didnt make it, lol.
the ending was kind of abrupt, but i appreciated that movie for what it was trying to say. the coen brothers can do no wrong in my eyes though, so maybe i’m biased
“the coen brothers can do no wrong in my eyes though”
Especially Fargo and Raising Arizona.
…and don’t forget miller’s crossing
Man…I completely forgot about that one.
When Anton killed Carson (Woody), he wiped/scooted his boots on the ground to make sure there was no blood.
Anton did the same thing in the scene when he exits her house.
The book was slightly better……….
^^Didn’t get it, and still mad
Ghost
you know, at one point i think i was starting to have a change of heart about Whoopi, but she really is that busted.
and how come she ain’t got no eyebrows.
go obama.
and how come she ain’t got no eyebrows.
OMG!!! For the longest I couldn’t figure out what it was that was extra wrong about her face. One day it hit me..that heffa does not have any eyebrows. All that money she has, she should have invested in some.
panama, so wrong…but why did i google image her to confirm THAT was the problem.
**pours out some spirits for whoop whoop’s eyebrows”
y’all JUST noticed this about the Whoopster?
“and how come she ain’t got no eyebrows.”
I am dying at the fact that there is a question on yahoo answers asking this exact same question . . . thinking that I just googled it is making me laugh even more . . . HILARIOUS I TELL YOU!
Champie– i’m so impressed you mentioned “orbitofrontal cortex hypoactivation”. *two thumbs up*
thanks, gemie
and the new master of OFC hypoactivation (read: Ivy) did a great job with her comps presentation this morning.
Aww thanks for the support Gem!!!! May we all live long and never have hypoactive orbitofrontal cortex.
-Cheers
CONGRATS ON PASSING!!!! yaaaaay *steals PBG’s glitter and throws it* time to let the libations flow!
vsb.com: where nerds happen
why are you stealing glitter, I am sure PBG would give you some if you asked…
i didn’t have time to ask!
Congratulations on your passing your Comps!
A parade in your honor, complete with unicorns, black squirrels, and midgets throwing glitter
***wondering who is going to clean up this mess***
***wondering who is going to clean up this mess***
this is the exact same thought that went through my head moments after the first vsb orgy, with gem and ivy as principles.
oh no you di’nt!
indeed… many congratulations. *sprinkles Diva Dust*
and Champ needs to stop hatin’ on the nerds…
hmmm… let me see.. since puff stole mine
The Golden Child..while I looove the move ( I III want the knife….pleeeeaaaaassssee) its premise is truly crazy
and lets not forget Bowfinger…
Wanted..it was good but really?
and of Course Charlie and the Chocolate factory and the Wiz/wizard of Oz….
“( I III want the knife….pleeeeaaaaassssee)”
lmao that is my favorite scene!!
m yfave line: “Viva Nepal!” , one of my good friends and I yell that multiple times anytime we hang out…
my favorite is the “My dear brother Numpsey” scene in the airport
ME TOO!!! eddie murphy was so cool back then! damnit! i just loooooved that scene!!!
Mine too, Gem! LOL!
d@mn! how did the wizard get in the mix? lol. to me, the nonsense in that plot was diana’s old @ss as dorothy.
One of Eddie’s best. GC had almost as many good scenes in it as Coming to America.
yeah, this is so not true. at all.
damn near EVERY scene in Coming To America had at least one quotable. Coming To America was like a Jay-Z song on steroids.
Golden Child (though I totally love this movie) had some great great comedic moments, but almost as many as Coming To America? naw.
As much as it goes against every value I posses. I have to agree with the Panda lover on this one.
“damn near EVERY scene in Coming To America had at least one quotable. Coming To America was like a Jay-Z song on steroids. “
“and lets not forget Bowfinger…”
please, lets forget bowfinger.
Oh dayum, I had forgotten that, until now…lol
I can see these comments getting real spoilerish…
anywho…the first movie that comes to mind for me was ‘i know who killed me’. i swear i had the d!ck look on face the whole time…from the screen to him, the screen to him, like really? why are you making me watch this crap…implausible kidappings/murder, lost limbs, said person with no limbs in lame sex scene, laughable dialouge, and one of the most f^cked up, nonsensical endings i have ever seen. smh.
“i swear i had the d!ck look on face the whole time”
hmmm…sounds like you need to see a professional or something
Im down for “Momento” and “Spun”…whose ring clusterfcuk for me.
But Candyman is my joint! Granted you couldnt catch my butt near tinfoil much less a mirror saying ANYTHING 5 times. I dont even entertain the one or two crazy people I know that would do it.
I dig the one family branch was a slave, was wronged, and is going to get you.
Word.
“I dont even entertain the one or two crazy people I know that would do it”
there should be a facebook group or something for “people who still wont say “candyman” five times in a mirror”
and i’d join that group. i haven’t seen the movie all the way through. and i’m pretty sure i never will. just the thought gives me the heebie jeebies.
I’d join.
When Candyman came out, my friend said it in front of the mirror 5 times and then sat outside her house all day claiming that Candyman never killed anybody outside. And instead of telling her to pull herself together and go in her house, I kept her company outside. Not taking any chances.
my friend said it in front of the mirror 5 times and then sat outside her house all day claiming that Candyman never killed anybody outside.
was your friend retarded?
“somehow slips through the cracks like a fart in a stiff fall wind?”
I need you to know such lines are not unnoticed. If you were a literary term, you would be imagery, even if they always involve a mythical creature, midgets and centaurs.
Wait, centaurs is mine.
For some reason when I read the post the first movie that came to mind was Crossroads, with Britney Spears. Thing is, I know I’ve seen worse, I shall sleep on it.
VSB: Safe Haven for Elves and Pixies
VSB: Safe Haven for Elves and Pixies
hmph…not according to some folks…*cue the champ*
The Champ is like Booker T. He acts like he is not down, but he is fighting for the rights of mythical creatures everywhere behind the scenes.
LMAO!
Okay this seriously made me LOL!!!!!
“The Champ is like Booker T. He acts like he is not down, but he is fighting for the rights of mythical creatures everywhere behind the scenes.”
i notice Booker T Champ aint touch this…LOL funny indeed.
“The Champ is like Booker T. He acts like he is not down, but he is fighting for the rights of mythical creatures everywhere behind the scenes.”
see…i knew this would happen when i didnt get the asbestos problem fixed in the corner. now i got cats hallucinating and sh*t.
does anyone know a good electrician?
why do you need an electrician, are you electrocuting cats?
“why do you need an electrician”
yeah champie poo poo…whatever do you mean..expound and shyt.
yeah champie poo poo…whatever do you mean..expound and shyt.
to help with the corner electrical system after i take out the asbestos. damn
liar liar circuit breaker on fire…
Yeah, but they be flip-flopping with support for all things mythical. they are only welcome when it fits within Champ’s agenda or fall in line with his contractual obligations.
that is so true. the mere accusation of flip flopping cost democrats an election in 04. champ, i urge you to reconsider your treatment of mythical creatures.
random aside: tell me why this latina yelled out “Obamanos” in the grocery store today. i was highly amused.
*nodding head at this*
that is so true. the mere accusation of flip flopping cost democrats an election in 04. champ, i urge you to reconsider your treatment of mythical creatures.
*laughing way too loudly at this*
random aside: tell me why this latina yelled out “Obamanos” in the grocery store today. i was highly amused.
random aside: tell me why this latina yelled out “Obamanos” in the grocery store today. i was highly amused.
I would’ve given my Latina sister a high five!!
“random aside: tell me why this latina yelled out “Obamanos” in the grocery store today. i was highly amused.”
I have an Obamanos sticker on the back of my car!!!
Si se Puede!!!
i went to an obama rally yesterday, and for someone who’s not easily impressed, i can honestly say that it was easily one of the top 3 or 4 events ive ever been to.
I went to a rally as well when he was here in March. It was like 20,000 people. Definitely in my top 5 events. How could you not be impressed? lol
yeah, i’ve gone to a few as well. i went to the senator’s breakfast they have on the hill every thursday way before he was thinking of running for president. i knew he was going to do big things even then. its a story for our grandkids:)
“somehow slips through the cracks like a fart in a stiff fall wind?”
I need you to know such lines are not unnoticed
thanks and sh*t. i do it for the people
do you even walk into movies like Crossroads expecting anything though? i know it was supposed to have some depth, but its Britney Spears.
Britney.Spears.
oh no! i am glad i saw this when i did, all late and shyt, but let the record state i didnt walk into crossroads at the theatres , i intend on keeping my ritcheous mind. if chillin at my girl with no taste’s house can be considered walking into…yeah i walked right into that one.
p.s. i’m mad at the baby goats line. baby goats must be nurtured and protected and loved, not violated by film execs… so that they can grow into big goats and be the main stars of my meals, with the jollof rice and plantain playing supporting roles.
“p.s. i’m mad at the baby goats line. baby goats must be nurtured and protected and loved, not violated by film execs”
its not my fault. film execs are freaks. didn’t you know that “miramax” is latin for “mammal orgy”?
Beloved. It was good- illogical, weird, but still a pretty decent movie. I still don’t understand how old ass danny glover impregnated a ghost. Anyway “tell me bout your diamonds”…
I want you to touch me.. on my inside parts…LMAO…..
dead @ use of touch me on the inside
i stan hard for toni morrison though.
that was one of the most disgustingly entertaining and horrifying scenes in cinematic history. like i couldnt turn away and i laughed so gotdamn hard at that “touch me on the inside” parts but it was just evil.
thing is, touch me on the inside is such a fun thing to say randomly. like say you’re at a business meeting and you’re bored…saying “touch me on the inside” while your boss is discussing a merger totally cracks the ice.
no?
When I went to see “Beloved” in the theater w/my parents, Dr. Dorothy Height was there as well. I was 8 months preggers w/young Ikey and she rubbed my belly when I introduced myself. I had a little mini celebrity moment after watching one of the weirdest movies I’ve ever seen.
As for that movie, I wasn’t surprised I didn’t care for it. I haven’t liked a Toni Morrison book since I read “The Bluest Eye” when I was 13.
“I haven’t liked a Toni Morrison book since I read “The Bluest Eye” when I was 13.”
That makes two of us. That was the only TM book I ever liked. I rented Beloved when it came out and I fell asleep on it, never saw the ending. Tells you how into that movie I was…lol
That movie should have been called “The Paint Drying Diaries”, because it was about as exciting as that would be…
That movie should have been called “The Paint Drying Diaries”, because it was about as exciting as that would be…
***chuckling***
*gasps*
Try Sula… It’s a good read.
(So good I stole the main character’s name)
Sula is my favorite Toni Morrison novel. I’ve read it many times.
As for that movie, I wasn’t surprised I didn’t care for it. I haven’t liked a Toni Morrison book since I read “The Bluest Eye” when I was 13.
She has a few great ones but a lot of sub par a$$ psuedo intellectualized bull shyt as well….Much like Alice Walker
I didn’t like Beloved the movie nor the book. Both were overrated.
i actually think Beloved might be the 2nd worst movie i’ve ever seen in my entire life. right after Nurse Betty.
i actually think Beloved might be the 2nd worst movie i’ve ever seen in my entire life. right after Nurse Betty.
you know, i didnt think that nurse betty was terrible? any movie that casts chris rock as a hit man is good with me. unrewatchable? yea. terrible? no
some of the worst, and oft quoted movie lines come from an unlikely source; oprah.
Puff! LOL, i love my people! why are Africans always shouting out goat and lamb? i must say though, i felt a twinge of guilt going from nurutured and loved to being the main star in your meal.
lol don’t forget the chicken drumstick and thigh, the oxtail, the guinea fowl and the stock fish…
lmao. let me go to sleep before i get hungry.
Because goat and lamb are the shiznit.
Most of the time they call it “lamb” but it’s actually mutton… But either way, it’s highly savory.
*silent prayer for the lamb that will be delicately cooked tonight*
y’all are making this African seriously rethink her devotion to not eating red meat…. STOP.IT.NOW.
ok for a movie, umm…i’m glad halle berry got an oscar but am i the only one who was not as impressed with monster’s ball?
it did not make me feel good (shudder). billy bob is gross. and everytime halle berry snatched a candy bar from her son i died. that might have been because i watched it in a theatre in dc and everytime halle went in her son’s room, the dude in front of me would yell “check under his pillow, that fat arse got candy!” heath ledger was good in that movie though.
CHECK UNDER HIS PILLOW???
*dead*
best part imo: “fatty! you fat! git on the scale!” halle’s screaming scared the poor child sh*tless.
every element of that movie was a hot mess alone. each character, the neighborhood, her couch, her child. puff just looking stupid in jail. i do not remember her once making food. i’d be stashing candy bars too.
“i’m glad halle berry got an oscar but am i the only one who was not as impressed with monster’s ball?”
I wasn’t impressed either.
the dude in front of me would yell “check under his pillow, that fat arse got candy!”
***guffawing***
“it did not make me feel good (shudder). billy bob is gross. ”
Billy Bob Thornton is HILARIOUS! maybe it is just me.
“Billy Bob Thornton”
i have a crush on this man. i think he’s brilliant.
you know, monster’s ball was a pretty bad movie. however, halle berry lookeded SO good in that movie.
granted, halle berry is fine, but fine a good movie does not make. she did give new meaning to a “fel good” movie.
(insert jadakiss aha! here)
Dr. Strangelove. One of my favorite movies of all time, but the premise is just ridiculous. Man bombs major world power/brings on the apocalypse because he finds himself tired after sex, a fact which attributes to the “communist-initiated” fluoridation of water.
all of stan kubrick’s movies are trippy like that. i remember watching “eyes wide shut” and not being able to eat with a fork for almost two weeks
I forgot about that one! I remember watching that movie just waaaaiting for the hook. It really just WAS. Like Yahweh.
It would have to be Max Payne. To hear why go to http://www.filmreview2go.com.
I tried and tried to get into the movie but I couldn’t…hopefully the video game is better.
Sorry I put the wrong link. It’s http://www.filmreviews2go.com
I saw the bad reviews over the weekend. I was sad, cause I really wanted to see it…lol
Don’t waste your time. I tried seeing it twice and just couldn’t make it through it. I was so disappointed in this movie because I had been looking forward to seeing it.
Good looking out.
so you thought it was terrible the first time, and went to give it another try? thats some dedication for ya ass
“so you thought it was terrible the first time, and went to give it another try? thats some dedication for ya ass”
How would you ever get “attention” if chicks didn’t do things like this, Champ?
The video game came out as the PS2 released. You can get it for less than 10 bucks now. I loved that game.
I know im probably going to get in trouble for this… but here goes: the movie that pretty stupid to me was… A family that preys -aka a tyler perry joint. That was a pretty substandard movie that seemed to just get thrown on screen to apease the TPF (tylerperryfanatics). Even though some of the acting was well done. Some others clearly need to go back to acting class for a refresher. And why must he make his characters wear those god awful wigs??
Please pray for T.P.
.. Oh, for the record..i will never say _andyman or _loody _ary or any other urban legend that could possibly lead to my early demise.. in any dark room, in front of a mirror, in a closet, basement, or anywhere else..
i guess im a punk..but im a cautious punk!
We did the bloody mary thing too….lol
“I know im probably going to get in trouble for this… but here goes: the movie that pretty stupid to me was… A family that preys -aka a tyler perry joint”
in trouble, lol? this is vsb.com, not blackplanet or nappturality, lol. you’re safe here
“nappturality”
BOOOOO!!!! You can talk about BP, but not my NP sistahs…lol
BOOOOO!!!! You can talk about BP, but not my NP sistahs…lol
Thats Right!! Where else am I going to get my homemade deep conditioning recipes from?
in trouble, lol? this is vsb.com, not blackplanet or nappturality, lol. you’re safe here
lmao, so true. blackplanet? does that site still exist?!
thrown together indeed. i think the premise had potential. but you wanna talk about multiple disconnected storylines.
what really tripped me out was the end when dude slapped Sanaa clear across the counter. i mean, she deserved an a$$ whoopin, but damn. i bust out laughing at first, but then it bothered me a bit.
“i bust out laughing at first, but then it bothered me a bit.”
I clapped.
Is that wrong?
I clapped too e-twinny.
Don’t feel bad.
I didn’t.
lol i clapped too. then i was like, hold up. a dude hit a chick and no one had anything to say? is that really how it goes down?? i dunno, i felt some type of way.
“…i bust out laughing at first, but then it bothered me a bit….”
i’m surprised the 8th wonder didnt take this opportunity to come at me, lol. she must be slipping
i SO agree with you on the Candyman, Champ – the minute you asked the question, that flick sprung to mind!
i remember it came out when i’d just arrived in the US for college, and i remember watching the previews and wondering ‘is this loosely based on some kind of historical event, but then got horridly twisted in the hollywood interpretation? is there any merit in waching this, just to get a bit of insight on african-american history – even if it means i’ll have to research the real story properly later, coz the way it’s coming out on screen is just so bizarre???’
in the end, i never did watch it – but caught it on TV one night – 25 minutes into it, i switched channels, my brain was getting so scrambled by the scariness and lack of logic of it all.. and the candyman was SCARY!!! where’s that actor now, i wonder…
“and the candyman was SCARY!!! where’s that actor now, i wonder…”
he’s one of those actors like larry guillard jr (d’angelo barksdale from “the wire”) that i can’t imagine ever being in any other role, ever again, lol
Black Snake Moan with Samuel Jackson! Made in 2006.
Damn it had a strange plot. Set in the South in the 50′s or 60′s, sex freaky white girl get the crap beat out of her and left for dead at the end of a road, which leads to Jackson’s property. Rather than call 911 or the cops when he finds her, he brings her into her house until she’s conscious, nurses her back to health, but ties a friggin’ chain around her after she tries to get her freak on with him. His intent: to cure her of her lack of self-control.
I almost turned the channel because the plot was so unbelievable, but the great acting held me hostage. Glad I did. The movie worked and got me thinking how some of the most audacious shyt people do can work when things go right. Enjoyed the blues music too.
I was also pleasanlty surprised by Justin’s vomity acting skills. He’s like the boyfriend who does you wrong but you keep letting him hit cuz he’s just so cute.
although completely inane, this movie actually isn’t bad.
also, if you watch again, it is set in the present day. its just that its the deeeeeeep south, which may have made it seem like a time warp
Agreed. I loved it, which shocked me after sticking it out. And hmmm, I didn’t realize it was set in the present day. Thanks for that info.
The only reason why I watched that movie is because I was riding with someone and he wanted to see the movie all the way through. That movie was a waste of my time too.
Great movie. But I agree that it takes patience and open-mindedness to enjoy it.
yeah good one. black snake moan was definitely on some other sh*t.
however, i kind of thought it was a good movie. plus, i laughed my A** off during that movie numerous times. i was entertained.
I loved this movie. I think I have a appreciation for it because I lived in Memphis for awhile close to the part of Mississippi that this film was supposed to be depicting. The music in this movie is big down there and I’ve known people that act like that.
I mean where else do we see some black guy chain a white nympho to a radiator? Crazy.
“You gone mind me…..I will suffer you!”
lmao
this dude (jim brewer) makes movies (“black snake moan”, “hustle and flow”) that make you want to shower directly afterwards. its seemed like everybody in both movies needed a bath the entire flick, lol
True! But I could sort of empathize with Rae. I once met a brotha with a dyck game so nice that I thought I could hear rattlesnakes hissing at me too whenever he walked up.
CTFU!!!
But now another movie that wasn’t bad just different was No Country For Old Men. Dude had a freaking air gauge how bad a** is that?
lol
When I first saw the ads for “Black Snake Moan”, I was automatically afraid for this fictional Black man who had a white girl chained up in his house. I could tell they were in the south by the way they were all sweating. I mean, I was immediately afraid for this man’s well-being and I didn’t know anything about the premise, plot or anything.
It took me a long time to get around to watching that film, but when I did, it wasn’t horrible and the Black man didn’t die a horrible death at the hands of an angry lynch mob like I’d feared he would.
The movie w/the most inane and ridiculous plot to me was “Knocked Up. I hated that simple azz movie. I got it on netflix and really was freakin’ disappointed. All that hype for that crap?? That shyt doesn’t happen for real…does it??
Blech. It was horrible. Two PBG thumbs down, and definitely no glitter!!
(I was absent on yesterday’s post because I spent my entire day off fasturmating.)
The movie w/the most inane and ridiculous plot to me was “Knocked Up. I hated that simple azz movie. I got it on netflix and really was freakin’ disappointed. All that hype for that crap?? That shyt doesn’t happen for real…does it??
blasphemy!!!!!!!!
*nods and sh*t*
“That shyt doesn’t happen for real…does it?? ”
I loved Knocked Up. What part do you think doesn’t happen? The one night stand, that leads to a baby and eventually relationship?? I’ve definitely heard of one night stands that have produced babies. The relationship after 1 night stand/baby, ehh not so much, but Im a romantic, so I believe it has happened somewhere out in the world. Lol
I liked Knocked Up also. That was like a PSA.
Knocked Up is a great movie. Womp to you for the dislike.lol.
That was the most realistic movie about pregnancy I have ever seen.
word.life.
I thought Knocked Up was overrated. Not at all as funny as Judd Apatow’s other movies
superbad was overrated. i’ll argue that one 8 days out of the week. knocked up was great to me.
yes it was so over rated but McLovin’s part alone made it funny enough to watch. That and the part when ole boy got hit by the car.
“superbad was overrated. i’ll argue that one 8 days out of the week. knocked up was great to me.”
Can’t agree with you, that movie was FUNNY! Dude got knocked out by the robber . . . fake ID called McLuvin, throwing up on that broad, dude getting hit by the car. . . .THAT ISH WAS FUNNY!
“superbad was overrated. i’ll argue that one 8 days out of the week. knocked up was great to me.”
i agree 100 percent. superbad was funny, but nowhere near knocked up, superbad, or even forgetting sarah marshall
are you insane?!?!?!
knock’d up is without a doubt one of the funniest realistic movies i’ve seen in a long time.
plus…it had the “old b*tch at the club scene” where dude said he can only let in…f*ck it…enjoy:
Debbie: I’m not gonna go to the end of the f*cking line, who the f*ck are you? I have just as much of a right to be here as any of these little skanky girls. What, am I not skanky enough for you, you want me to hike up my f*cking skirt? What the f*ck is your problem? I’m not going anywhere, you’re just some roided out freak with a f*cking clipboard. And your stupid little f*cking rope! You know what, you may have power now but you are not god. You’re a doorman, okay. You’re a doorman, doorman, doorman, doorman, doorman, so… F*ck You! You f*cking fag with your f*cking little faggy gloves.
Doorman: I know… you’re right. I’m so sorry, I f*ckin’ hate this job. I don’t want to be the one to pass judgement, decide who gets in. Sh*t makes me sick to my stomach, I get the runs from the stress. It’s not cause you’re not hot, I would love to tap that a**. I would tear that a** up. I can’t let you in cause you’re old as f*ck. For this club, you know, not for the earth.
Debbie: What?
Doorman: You old, she pregnant. Can’t have a bunch of old pregnant b*tches running around. That’s crazy, I’m only allowed to let in five percent black people. He (the manager) said that, that means if there’s 25 people here I get to let in one and a quarter black people. So I gotta hope there’s a black midget in the crowd.
*****
classico.
that was indeed classically epic…
Old for the earth. CTFU!!!
I love dude I think his name is Craig something…I love him on the Office and he was hilarious in Pineapple Express.
Classico indeed.
lmao yes this was a great scene! and it had my man Craig Robinson from The Office in it. good one, PJ.
Forget ALLA YA’LL that say that movie was good. It was craptastic. If that DVD had been mine instead of rented, I would’ve snapped it in half and thrown it out the window. That “Making a Pron Movie” junk looks just as bad. Blah. It was wackadocious.
Word.life on that, PeeJay.
don’t be mad at us cuz you have bad taste. lol.
Booooo! “Knocked Up” was funky garbage and I stand by my statements about it.
Now that “Borat” movie…THAT’S quality cinema right there! The church scene alone is worth the price of admission.
Doorman: You old, she pregnant. Can’t have a bunch of old pregnant b*tches running around. That’s crazy, I’m only allowed to let in five percent black people. He (the manager) said that, that means if there’s 25 people here I get to let in one and a quarter black people. So I gotta hope there’s a black midget in the crowd.
his delivery of the lines make it even more funny. he’s up there with patrice o’neal on my favorite fat black comedians list.
HEYyyyy Knocked Up was awesome. It had incredible funny frolicky and fatherly moments.
Kudos for maintaining dominion over your down there parts. lol
Black Snake Moan, a angry old black man chains up a freaky white girl and then parades her through town, what Jewish Movie Exec. let that happen. Eventhough Sam Jackson is always entertaining yelling all types of sh*t, the move didn’t make sense.
You couldn’t pay my black scary azz enough to do that candyman sh*t, just not going down.
-JM
“Black Snake Moan, a angry old black man chains up a freaky white girl and then parades her through town, what Jewish Movie Exec. let that happen.”
someone with obvious cuckold fantasies.
I would say Mulholland Drive. I saw the movie twice a few years ago and I still couldn’t tell you the first thing about the plot. All I know is…..lesbians and murder were in there somewhere.
“…lesbians and murder were in there somewhere”
sounds like my apartment on the weekends
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Two guys go through the ENTIRE movie in a drug fugue.. you start to wonder if someone has slipped YOU a micky.
The Wicker Man…. it’s just wierd. I wanted my momey back.
“Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Two guys go through the ENTIRE movie in a drug fugue.. you start to wonder if someone has slipped YOU a micky.”
Yeah that ish was crazy, I just figured I wouldn’t get it since I wasn’t doing psychedelics…lol
*another point for fugue!*
*another point for fugue!*
Why thank you! [as I curtsy}
“The Wicker Man…. it’s just wierd. I wanted my momey back”
Wow. Spell check much?
That should be weird and money.
Wowl I was about to say Wicker Man. First he decided to go on a dummy mission that he had no business going to by himself. He had at least 100 signs telling him to get the hell away from there once he got there, and he still remained.
And was up with the old lady’s crib where the girl was in the chair naked covered by bees?
I know right? and what about the little girl turning out to be one of the bad ones??? too much confusion
We did the Candyman thing in 8th grade– in the bathroom during Athletics. Funny as hell. Imagine 20 13 year old girls running full speed out of a bathroom after someone swore she felt something touch her leg…lol
Movies, I’ve sat through some truly retarded movies. I try to block them out, so let me think…
Napoleon Dynamite. After everyone told me I just HAD to see it (which is why I don’t listen to most people when they tell me this). Now I can appreciate completely off the wall movies but that ish was stupid. I think I only laughed twice and when I gave the movie back to my homegirl she was sooooo disappointed that I didn’t like it.
Honorable Mention: Vanilla Sky
WTF was that?! Watch the whole movie and that kat was already dead? Man please…
He had already frozen his corpse and was living through some kind of extended life fantasy package? Boooo!!!!
Awww man. I love Napoleon.
“Napoleon, don’t be jealous that I’ve been chatting online with babes all day.”
Favorite.Line. Ever.
so how about at one of my jobs as an instructor i seriously asked “so, is there a vest, or a badge, or something?”
We did the Candyman thing in 8th grade– in the bathroom during Athletics.
mmmhmmm. thats what ya’ll were calling it, huh? the “candyman”?
btw, i’ve maintained for years that when you consider the budget, the expectation, and the star power, vanilla sky is the single worst movie i’ve ever seen
You mean to tell me you didn’t like Vanilla Sky.
David: Good. Because for a minute there, I thought we were talking about
[shouts]
David: a phucking mask!
Dr. Pomeranz: It’s only a mask… if you treat it that way.
David: Oh, no. It’s great. This completely takes care of Halloween. But what about the other 364 days of the year?
Im sorry but I could not stop laughing at this scene.
I’m laughing at you for posting this dialogue…lol
You know that movie was horrible.
“mmmhmmm. thats what ya’ll were calling it, huh? the “candyman”?”
You’re not funny.
Yeah– Vanilla Sky, with all the big names, should not have been as absurd as it was.
Vanilla Sky was horrible to say the least. I think the plot goes like this:
My life’s great. My life sucks. Wait, something’s wrong. Oh, it’s just a dream!
LOL!!!! The movie summed up in 5 seconds.
I completely feel you on both of these selections. People swear Napoleon Dynamite was funny. The only thing that really came out of it was the ‘liger’ and ‘Vote for Pedro’ t-shirts…oh and really GOOD Robot Chicken spoofs….
Vanilla Sky was just…. strange.
for some reason the part where he is feeding tina, the pet llama (wtf?) and said “eat the food” made me laugh. that and the fact he was clearly a mouthbreather. it was endearing.
admittedly, the first time i watched Napolean Dynamite i thought it was crap and overhyped to hell.
however, the 2nd time? i laughed so hard i had tears running down my eyes.
if you thought it was craptastic the first time, explain to me why you decided to *potentially* torture yourself again?
alcohol better be involved in this answer– and it better be the reason you thought it was funny too.
Okay we can’t go to the movies together. Napoleon and Vanila Sky were both good to me. Next you’re prolly gonna say Magnolia was bad too. smh
“Next you’re prolly gonna say Magnolia was bad too. smh”
Um…yeah….lol
That’s the movie I was actually going to mention.
Vanilla Sky was just too pretentious for its own good.
Whatnahell was that?????
i’m with you. i was gonna say Vanilla Sky myself. i walked out of the theatre on some. hm…what just happened here sh*t.
What? I didn’t mind Vanilla Sky. I saw it after Abre los ojos, which I really liked, and I found fault in it as one would any remake, but I didn’t think it was terrible!
watch vanilla sky a second time…i don’t know about you guys but it got me thinking and inspired me to write some fiction. i own it now.
I’ll send you my copy if you would like. It was gifted to me, and after watching it I thought this person didn’t like me very much.
lol…
watch vanilla sky a second time…i don’t know about you guys but it got me thinking and inspired me to write some fiction. i own it now.
well, i will admit, it did inspire me too. after i watched it, i was inspired to take the biggest sh*t i ever have
“after i watched it, i was inspired to take the biggest sh*t i ever have”
you’re nasty.
I am dressing as Napoleon Dynamite for my Halloween party this year!
*takes one of your campaign buttons throws it down the hall and runs away*
for me it def has to be monsters ball. a black woman, mourning the death of her overweight son (who was treated like shit by her) falls in love with the racist white warden that executed her husband. I’m still waiting for a good explaination for this one.
lol…basically it was a giant riddle of a plot just to convince halle berry that if she did a nude sex scene, she could win an oscar.
i mean, from that vantage point in think its the most ingenious premise of all time
i mean, from that vantage point in think its the most ingenious premise of all time
you think so? somehow telling a woman to exploit her sexuality to make money seems as old a premise as dirt and unicorns.
We all know Halle is not that great of an actress (hello Gothika), so this was the one thing, that put her over to win…lol
yeah, but that somehow takes away from it..for me at least. you don’t want to win an award cause you are teffable. or get a job to fill a quota (though in hard times i will turn a blind eye). you want to win cause you got real talent. grr.
I agree with you completely.
um, we in a recession. i’ll take a job cuz i’m a negro. STAT.
umm, the director of American History X called. He is looking for dedicated actors who really want to act out scenes. they are making the sequel and want to include the same exact shower scene. you know the one.
you down Panama? for some money? we in a recession but *hit aint that bad.
shucks…pay me in bud! its a movie. i have no problem being typecast or anything.
hell, everybody wants me in their movies b/c of my sexxy awesomeness, you don’t hear me complaining, do you?
you think so? somehow telling a woman to exploit her sexuality to make money seems as old a premise as dirt and unicorns.
exactly!! ingenious
whateva champ!
Halle deserved that Oscar for the Greatest.Sex.Scene in the history of life.ever.period
that made it into the theaters.
Yep, disclaimer.
Peyso you must be a guy because you are looking at it from the teffing Halle standpoint. From where I sit, the thought of Billy Bob makes me want to take a shower. I have to try and imagine Idris Elba or Boris Kodjoe, or if I’m feeling like a go-girl, Method Man in place of Billy bob. I mean his name is effing billy bob. what the duck.
*cue Lifetime actress sliding down the shower wall slowly as she sobs*
I am so with you on this…. seriously.
you enn eye tee whyyyyyyyy. united we stand bbm.
can yall tell i am hype today?
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=wall+slider
WALL SLIDER:
A person who has just heard bad news and then rushes to the nearest wall and places thier back to it and slides down as they weep and scream.
I was watching maury povich show and after he told Shawanda that the 8th man tested was NOT the father, she ran backstage and turned into a wall slider.
LOL!
WALL SLIDER:
A person who has just heard bad news and then rushes to the nearest wall and places thier back to it and slides down as they weep and scream.
I was watching maury povich show and after he told Shawanda that the 8th man tested was NOT the father, she ran backstage and turned into a wall slider.
i’m gonna incorporate this into my daily lexicon
LMAO,I am so mad there is a definition of this!
i cant think of a movie that i didnt like or didnt get, but i can think of one that i didnt expect to enjoy so much: the wackness… i have been using the word dopeness all summer, lol.
anything combining ben kingsley and hip-hop is a must see
Quality movie!
I still can’t get over Ben quoting Biggie Guns I like em stainless…
The Cell.
Tried to watch it all the way thru three times and just could not do it.
Still don’t know what the movie was about or what Jenny from the Block was doing…….
The Cell was terrible.
Oh yeah! Forgot about this one.
I really wanted to know what the writers and producers were smoking because that was one BAD acid trip….
I thaught it wasn’t that bad. I was all into the cinemetography.
the cinemetography was ridiculously impressive. and that’s where my compliments for The Cell end. it should have just been a silent film. include a great score and it woulda been better.
I gotta think about this one a bit…but I’m so mad that I knew which movie you were referring to with the whole undead slave thing…even though I haven’t seen that isht in years (or in full).
Evreytime I see Tony Todd in anything I think Candyman. They need to have both Candyman movies in soem kind of gift pack. I wonder what happens if you type Candyman five times? Will Candyman appear and gut me with a scythe? I’m not taking that cahnce I will not type Can…
Evreytime I see Tony Todd in anything I think Candyma
yeah. i mentioned that upthread. he probably should have just retired after that flick was made, or, at least, just walk around all day in his costume from that movie, just to scare random snizzles
he cant retire he has this thing where whenever he appears in a movie he looks like the guy you should eff with. Even in the bland cameos in the Final Desitnation movies he scared them kids without even doign anything. Also in the Night of the Living Dead remake he was the only guy I didn’t want to be torn apart by zombies…and he toted the shotgun.
lol you killin me.
I once saw this movie called Hypercube where there was like 7 ppl trapped in a room. In this room had six dours that lead to other rooms, and they were runnin through all the rooms trying to find an exit. Then the rooms started to follow them and implode. Then they started killing each other but more of them would pop up, like duplicates and sh*t. Then there was a blind asian chick that was ridiculously annoying.
I also think that all of the Saw movies were pretty ridiculous. The idea that some old man could mastermind some nutty sh*t like this and not get his arse whooped. And the fact that I dont think there is an end in sight.
the rooms would follow them?
it was the weirdest thing ever. So this room was outside the time/space continuum. So rooms started to repeat themselves. So it gave the appearance that the rooms were following them. Then when the whole thing started to implode, the rooms became killers. Slicing ninjas up and what not. But it didnt matter cuz one of ur duplicates would pop up a few rooms down the line.
I must see this movie now.
strangely, i’m with you. i’m intrigued by this.
It does sound awful strange. This would be one of these, I just got come from the club at 3am, I can’t go to sleep, let’s see what’s on USA type of movies.
Stop, just stop it!!! Oh, my gawd, what are those Holllywood folks eating?
I am cracking up so bad at the description of this movie, I have tears in my eyes.
“Slicing ninjas up and what not.”
if i ever produced a horror flick, this would definitely be the title
hmm… the description of hypercube is making me feel uncomfortable…
Sounds like a horrible dream. Mad you stayed for the whole thing I hope you got some punnannaaaayyy **smelling finger like Tron** ahahahaha
I SAW THIS MOVIE!!
And I want what HE’S smoking!
I know this is not really an answer to the question but has anyone ever sat down and thought about how ridiculous the premise to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is?
Like 4 crime fighters in NYC, and each word is more perposterous than the one before it. If it were four teenagers, the movie would be ridiculous, teenagers who were mutants would be ridiculous, teenagers who were mutants and ninjas would be absurd, yet its like the guys had to add one more element to completely blow away any suspension of belief you had, turtles.
Like 4 crime fighters in NYC, and each word is more perposterous than the one before it. If it were four teenagers, the movie would be ridiculous, teenagers who were mutants would be ridiculous, teenagers who were mutants and ninjas would be absurd, yet its like the guys had to add one more element to completely blow away any suspension of belief you had, turtles.
LOL
turtles in a hatshell…….turtle power!
that song is part of the soundtrack of my life. the 90s part. i refuse to co-sign..but LOL, you do have a point.
Its heroes in a a halfshell…turtle power!
and you call yourself a fan, I scoff at you.
Thank you Dorian, cause I was laughing at what the h3ll is a Hatshell!!?
“I scoff at you.”
ha!!!!
Eff all yall! I was multi-tasking.
Dorian, allow me back in the fold!
IH, watch yaself! Yall are so quick to correct a ninjette.
I am not quick at all I rolled up in here an hour ago. All I said was it made me laugh… its ok
Have some glitter, sprinkle it about it makes everything better
i wadn’t gon say nuthin cuz i likes you but … halfshell.
oh and used to stan HARD for TMNT. Rafael was my BOI!
I’m seriously wondering what the conversation was like when they were brainstorming for that one. Like Guy 1 and Guy 2
Guy 1: I got! Middle aged, retarded, yoga…um um pandas! Brilliant!
Guy 2: Wait wait you got something there buddy. Hold on how can we sell this?
Guy 1: Uh I don’t know I’m the big idea guy, you hammer out the details
Guy 2: Ok well I guess we have to sell this to kids, so instead of middle aged crime fighters, how bout um kids?
Guy 1: No cuz then it’ll be like we’re making fun of retarded kids so, teenagers?
Guy 2: Perfect! Wait I still think the whole retarded thing is a little after school special-y.
Guy 1: Geez! ok um i don’t know dude wait let me take another puff, oh yo yo yo, mutants son!!!
Guy 2: Like X-Men??? F*cking outstanding my dude.
Guy 1: Teenage Mutant Yoga Pandas
Guy 2: wait that still sounds mad gay tho, like who really does yoga
Guy 1: Fall back yo you know i need to stretch out my back, thats the only reason I’m in them classes
Guy 2: Ok how bout martial arts?
Guy 1: Yeah but that doesn’t really flow, ninjas?
Guy 2: Wait but doesn’t it take years to become a ninja, ain’t no way some teenagers can be ninjas
Guy 1: Sheeeiiit, maybe normal teenagers, but these are mutants remember?
Guy 2: oh yeah I forgot we had that option available to us.
Guy 1: So then they chinese bols right? I mean they ninjas, they pandas its all good?
Guy 2: yeah but what are chinese bols doing in NYC fighting crime? Shouldn’t they be serving up some shrimp fried rice or something?
Guy 1: Yeah you right, them being chinese is kinda unbelievable
Guy 2: We’re so close…wait…wait…yo why don’t we make them turtles???!!!???
Guy 1: ni99a don’t you own a turtle?
Guy 2: exactly and I always said if that ni99a was a mutant and knew karate he’ll be a beast son.
Guy 1: fuggit then. Ok so we good Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Guy 2: yup now all they need is a mentor and some villians and our next step is profit.
“Guy 2: exactly and I always said if that ni99a was a mutant and knew karate he’ll be a beast son”
I can really hear that and it is making me chuckle beyond belief…. I love your Guy1, Guy2 dialogues
Brilliant!
i dont know if its so absurd when folks turn cartoons and comic books into movies. it would be one thing of the cartoon never existed…and they tried to make it real…but hell, they’re leader was a rat. lol.
what i will say is bupkus is the fact that future TMNT movies tried to get deeper and have meaning like when they got transported back in time to China…and i think it was Raphael didnt want to come back b/c he found peacefulness…
LMAO! I know two guys who would ACTUALLY have that convo…and be dead serious
WOOOOW!
Guy 1: Teenage Mutant Yoga Pandas
Guy 2: wait that still sounds mad gay tho, like who really does yoga
Guy 1: Fall back yo you know i need to stretch out my back, thats the only reason I’m in them classes
lmao ha-frikkin-larious!
Guy 1: ni99a don’t you own a turtle?
Guy 2: exactly and I always said if that ni99a was a mutant and knew karate he’ll be a beast son.
Effin’ hilarious!
I hate you.
yeah, this is a first ballot entry in the vsb comment hall-of-fame
Okay what?! I didn’t like this dialogue. To me, well in my minds ear @ first it was some old scorsasie sounding gewish fellows and ended up some hood nyc bros. No I need better concistancy.
U r the LAST person to talk about “needing better concistancy”
Nah son. I usually can wrap my mind around some of the most convoluted. This makes me feel funny.
Pulp Fiction, which is prolly one of my favorites, is the most irritating, exciting, annoying movies ever. To this day, NO one can give me a synopsis on it that makes sense, ya’ just know that it’s cinematic goodness.
No Country For Old Men? now that may fit into the same category…but not so much on the goodness. Dude with the killer fire extinguisher and the d*ck head haircut!? straight banana bread!
When I first met my girl, she made me watch that stooopid movie ,Open Water, when the movie was over, I wanted her to not call me ever again for making me sit through that crap…but after her official microphone check that night, I can watch a loop of the closing credits to that movie for an entire day!
I love Pulp Fiction, one of my faves.
I had to watch it 3 times to finally figure out how all the story went together, but it didn’t put me to sleep.
I like the movie Go for the same reason.
Open Water 2 is as horrible if not worse
I saw pulp one time and fell in love. I LOVE how all those stories mold into one.
sorry for the double post.
Testimony to how much I love Pulp Fiction!
By the way for a movie to be ridiculous to me, it really has to offend every logical sense I have in my body, plus it might get bonus points if its a big studio, big budget movie. One of these sense offending big budget movies is…FaceOff.
In all seriousness, think about this for a second. Transferring the faces of an FBI agent and a criminal, yet the dudes wife can’t tell who’s who? Same voice? No scars? Facial expressions? Vocabulary? huh? I’m sitting in the movies (I saw this in theaters unfortunately) and I’m one step away from screaming at the other people in the movies. Like DO Y’ALL SEE THIS SH!T!!!???!! I felt like I was in the twilight zone episode, where I wake up and I’m the same yet everyone else is different…and dumber.
Good pick Dorian. The premise was ridiculous.
Great special effects and action scenes though.
Aight I know way too much about bimedical sciences to call complete bubkis on this film. Now the voice thing I have no clue. But all sorts of tissue transplants go down. The fact that they weren’t taking anti-tissue rejection medication. Now that was what was brutal.
The strangest movie I’ve ever seen is A Scanner Darkly…if you haven’t see it, see it so you too can be confused. It has Winona Ryder, Keanu Reeves, Robert Downey Jr, and Woody Harrelson in it.
It’s a cartoon but it’s not…you spend the whole movie looking at other people saying WTF…but you can’t stop watching.
I will give a gold star to anyone who gets it and can explain it…and not from reading the reviews, which also are strange.
I will give a gold star to anyone who gets it and can explain it…and not from reading the reviews, which also are strange.
i’m gonna take this challenge
i dunno i don’t think i’ve EVER seen a film where it felt totally dull or where the dots didn’t connect. I went in with different expectations for different films. And i’ve seen some very strange stuff esp. back in the day when I ONLY watched art film.
Trainspotting is prolly the most absurd (but still great) I’ve seen to date.
movies about heroin addicts always make for an interesting trip…. interesting meaning completely freaky
i liked it cause it was raw.
“Trainspotting is prolly the most absurd (but still great) I’ve seen to date.”
Trainspotting = green baby walking on ceiling . . . that bothered my soul. Thinking about it now still bothers my soul.
I kinda remember Trainspotting.
Didn’t that guy come up outta the toilet or something? After that I was like….um…yeah.
i think he dropped the syringe down there and it was DISGUSTING…
but still a good film yo LOL
“Didn’t that guy come up outta the toilet or something?”
ummm, please don’t expound
I didn’t even read this thread and I know you are talking about Trainspotting…
“I kinda remember Trainspotting.
Didn’t that guy come up outta the toilet or something? After that I was like….um…yeah.”
Yes, homeboy went through the toilet, they should show that movie to anyone that was even curious about messing with that H . . . that movie had me FUKKED up.
Has anybody seen The Happening? That’s perhaps one of the worst movies of all time. The plot is non-existent for a good chunk of the movie and Wahlberg sounds like a whiny lil b*tch. It’s awful and caused confusion and disappointment never before seen
Aight I was all this shyt supposed to be scary? You know what’s more scary than this movie the current g0p. Now that’s some terrifying sh!t.
I actually saw the Happening this weekend. I’m now afraid of trees, wind and grass. Mark Whalberg sounded like he was reading his lines to children at the library Read Along though. I kept saying “is that how he’s going to do it?”
Vanilla Sky
thats the only movie I can remember that made me sad for deciding to watch it. I felt liek I lost 10 years of my life in trying to figure out wtf was going on and why it was going on. This movie was horrible.
I agree…you see my earlier comment about VS?
Whatevuh @ both of you Pinelope got laked showed off her party hats.
*paging 8th wonder*
I understood party hats, but you lost me after that.
if you replace the l in laked w/ a n. does that help
Gotcha…
nekkidness doesn’t not make a bad movie good.
Thank you and good night.
but it was penelope. Hottest latina since rosie perez who btw still has it circa pinaple x-press.
“but it was penelope. Hottest latina since rosie perez who btw still has it circa pinaple x-press.”
so i guess you’ve never seen dania ramirez before, huh?
“so i guess you’ve never seen dania ramirez before, huh?”
EXACTLY! Why isn’t anyone noticing this fine specimen also, the only reason I watched Fat Albert all the way through . . . GORGEOUS
@IVR: i can top even that. i BOUGHT Fat Albert b/c of Dania Ramirez.
Fat Albert ain’t a terrible movie by the way if you turn the sound off, throw on N.W.A. and assume everybody is mouthing the words to “Ni**az Alwayz Into Somethin’”
HOLE UP! for that day was Dania out back then. & yea then Shoot was Buenivido A Miami out by will smith cuz I’d put Eva Mendez on her. Who want what?
“@IVR: i can top even that. i BOUGHT Fat Albert b/c of Dania Ramirez.
Fat Albert ain’t a terrible movie by the way if you turn the sound off, throw on N.W.A. and assume everybody is mouthing the words to “Ni**az Alwayz Into Somethin’”
Yeah, you win wit that one, I would buy a poster before I buy that Garbash.
About it not being terrible, the site of keenan or kel (whichever one it is) waddling around on the screen is enough to ruin any movie.
Dania Ramirez in She Hate Me >>> Dania Ramirez in Fat Albert
Dania Ramirez is on “Heroes” now. She had a s3x scene w/Mohinder a few weeks ago. Sizzlin’!
For those of you who don’t know: Penelope Cruz is NOT LATINA. She’s Spanish, from Spain, making her a Spanish Speaking white person.
Thank you.
The Village was pretty bad… and pretty damn disappointing. Is it me or is M. Night Shymalan getting worse… I feel like the Sixth Sense was his best movie.
Other contenders for the ridiculous yet workable… A Clockwork Orange… THAT movie messed me up.
“Is it me or is M. Night Shymalan getting worse… I feel like the Sixth Sense was his best movie.”
I think so. His best movie was his first one…it’s been all downhill since then.
I actually loved the book….haven’t seen the movie though.
Oh Bb Mo, say it ain’t so!
I loved the village. I own it and will watch it over and over and still love it.
I saw it in the theatres, and was the only one not walking out saying, “Man, that was some bullshyt”, lol.
Can I come over n watch it w/ U. I never saw it.
You can only watch it with me if you promise not to call it some bullshyt afterwards, lmao!
Check my comment b-low I won’t say that @ all.
I’m sorry homie, but I WAS one of those people… *sigh*
still e-friends?
sigh…
Always BB Mo, always.
I’m surprised no one mentioned Fight Club. It was entertaining and all, but they writers were trying to do a little too much in that movie.
Listen the first rule of fight club. Stop mentioning it by name or I’ll have to come over and beat your assets down with a poor investment.
tee-hee-hee
Firt Rule of Fi….
LOL!!!
What’s the Worst That Could Happen…
well the worst that could happen was that movie.
lol agreed.
What’s the Worst That Could Happen…
well the worst that could happen was that movie.
***snorting***
Movies that left me with the what the f*ck look on my face:
-Vanilla Sky.
-The Virgin Suicides
-Wanted
-Fight Club
-Signs
vanilla sky i was definitely sitting there scratching my head… i really wasn’t sure how i was supposed to be feeling when that movie ended…
You hush your mouth about Fight Club
yeah those are fighting words…. but don’t tell anyone, that’s rules #1 & 2
I loved The Virgin Suicides and Fight Club. Those were great films. Well…pretty darn good films!
oh, lets not forget Hitman… a good video game does not a good movie make.
I walked out on that one.
I always confuse Hitman and Shoot Em Up…but anyways, I got hype and tried to watch Shoot Em Up this weekend on demand.
The opening scene was Clive Owens shooting bad guys (that he apparrently didn’t know) all while kneeling over a pregnant woman who had just been beaten and was about to go into labor….
…then he had the nerve to deliver the baby, I turned it off immediately.
wait, lest we forget him shooting the oil barrel then, using the spilled oil to slide across the ground shooting people.
This was all in the first 3 minutes of the movie…c’mon man.
yeah i saw bits and pieces of shoot ‘em up this weekend myself. seemed totally ri-damn-diculous.
let us itemize the ridiculousness
1. dude sitting on a bench waiting for something munching on a HUGE A$$ CARROT
2. on screen runs pregnant/in labor woman being chased by a hitman– why, who knows?
3. ‘protagonist’ gives that “this sh*t AGAIN” look to the camera and runs off to save said woman
4. woman is successfully capped by hitmen, but not before “the oil barrel body count accumulation” and baby being delivered and taught to suckle on lactating DYING mommy
5. protagonist has bright idea… drop baby off at brothel which features a prostitute who caters to men who have a ‘thing’ for drinking random br3astmilk and therefore is still lactating herself
6. hitmen not satisfied with capping mom… baby needs to die to0. they pursue and smart-ass hitman played by Paul Giamatti sniffs dead mommy’s boob, smells br3astmilk and somehow figures out baby is with a lactating prostitute.
Oh… this is the first 13 minutes of the movie… I’ma stop here. I’m losing my appetite and I made BOMB spaghetti for lunch today…
ok…i need to see this movie now
only if you like pure action. The title was perfect.Lots of guns, a ridiculous plot and NO character development… scratch that– slight smatterings of some kind of character something….
don’t get me wrong, I’m a chick that loves action flicks and adores when the body count gets excessive… but LACTATING PROSTITUTES??!!
Where did they get that idea? Are there people out there who actually DO this???!?!!?
**I will give the writers kudos though, they did have the obiligatory HIV-can-be-spread-through-br3astmilk-but-this-prostitute-is-clean dialogue… I was worried about that for a sec. You can’t go sucking down any old br3astmilk all willy-nilly. Sucking b00bies, sure, but don’t drink the milk!
Tales from the hood . . . with the little niglets. . . THAT WAS FUNNY!
And who decided to make a ghetto leprechaun?
i got y’all ninjas topped. perhaps the actual worst movie of all time (Nurse Betty just got bumped since i forgot about this joint) was
Caveman’s Valentine starring Samuel Jackson. i can’t even do this f*ckery justice trying to explain the plot…so here’s the wikipedia writeup:
A former family man and pianist studying at Juilliard music school, Romulus Ledbetter (Samuel L. Jackson) is now suffering from paranoid schizophrenia and living in a cave in Inwood Park, New York. He believes that a man named Cornelius Gould Stuyvesant is controlling the world with rays from the top of the Chrysler Building, and that his mind is inhabited by moth-like angels. On Valentine’s Day he discovers the frozen body of a young man, Scotty Gates (Sean MacMahon), left in a tree outside his cave. The police, including Romulus’s daughter Lulu (Aunjanue Ellis), dismiss the man’s death as accident however, a homeless ex-lover of Scotty tells Romulus that he was murdered by the famous photographer David Leppenraub (Colm Feore). Determined to discover the truth behind Scotty’s death and prove his worth to his daughter, Romulus manages to get an invitation through a former friend to perform one of his compositions at Leppenraub’s farm. What unfolds thereafter is a twisted tale of mystery, deception and a man’s struggle against his own mind.
***
when i say i HATED my boy for making me see this…and one of my other homeboys had the nerve to tell me he thought it was both deep and good.
then again, one of my friends tried to tell me that The Matrix 2 made any sense. clearly my friends are insane.
Insane?! phok! I’ll Be That.
Some people say that the cucumber tastes better pickled.
Ive said it in the past and I will say it again…Sam Jack is a day laborer. He doesn’t read scripts. His agent tells him to show up where and what time and he just does it. And he is in more movies than all y’all ninjas as a result.
“Sam Jack is a day laborer. He doesn’t read scripts”
I’m so glad I’m not at my desk right now, I just chuckled, LOUDLY!!!!
I heart you.
you know PJ, this movie sounds a lot like the life of our resident cave dweller C-H-A-M-P
“you know PJ, this movie sounds a lot like the life of our resident cave dweller C-H-A-M-P”
you’re hurtin for a squirtin, arent you?
Lets just say I aint hurtin for a squirtin ~ he he he
“you’re hurtin for a squirtin, arent you?”
…………….
Squirt on Squirter! LOL
ROTFLMAO!!! i’m definitely still scared to say his name in the mirror… just in case it’s true… i mean, i’m not white but just in case… the funny thing is my friends and i would play with it… one of us would say it like 3 times and then the other would say it two times… ahhh, to be a kid again…
i think leprechaun and chucky are two of the most foolish movies… between those and mariah carey’s glitter… wtf?
Along the lines of Vanilla Sky was The Fountain. Great actors (two of my favorites, Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weisz). Big Production, lots of promo.
The movie.did.not.make.a.lick.of.sense
I remember how my homeboy and I burst out laughing in the middle of the theater (no less!) while people were crying. I mean, seriously? Like seriously?
It was nonsensical… (yup, it’s a new word!!!).
ohhhh… and the never ending story!!! that was THE worst… ugh
whoa whoa…never ending story was a great great movie…
that’s like saying Dark Crystal or Labyrinth were on some non-sense…so what DavidBowie was singing throughout the movie, it was still great. lol. kind of.
neverending story part 2 on the other hand was some crap.
Labyrinth is my joint!!!! i own that movie and every now and then i have to watch one of my fave scenes–the senile, narcoleptic “wiseman” with the talking bird hat thing. and i just <3 sir didymus and ambrosius.
The Neverending story is a Classic, its like talking bad about Romeo and Juliet, ok well maybe that is a little exaggerated.
i liked it as a kid, but it gave me nightmares for some reason…. but so did Gremlins and Labryinth
blasphemy, take it back immediately.
Yeah. This was my movie!
“ohhhh… and the never ending story!!! that was THE worst… ugh”
since you don’t have a soul, what substance do you use to fill up the space where a soul would be?
oh it’s filled with undying love and affection for the champ and the vsb blog…
great, great, great response…although i hope you’re brown-skinned so your nose fits with the rest of your body
since you don’t have a soul, what substance do you use to fill up the space where a soul would be?
aww champie, this makes up for your support of monsters ball.
ohhhh… and the never ending story!!! that was THE worst… ugh
this made me sad. take it back.
The dumbest plot was “The Village” (M. Night Shymalan), I saw this movie with my 2 snarky cohorts drunk as Hades and we laughed for 15 minutes at the end, I am talking guffaws, chortles, snickering, Def Jam falling out on the floor, uproarious laughter… but then 16 minutes after we was mad as purgatory that we sat through that ish, so our revenge was to tell everyone we knew that it was the greatest movie ever made so they could share our pain. Misery loves company, and I am a people person and sh*t….
lolololol… i liked the Village
but WHY???
LOL…I love the random Dante-ian references…drunk as hades, mad as purgatory….quality stuff…I jumped off the M. Night boat IMMEDIATELY after Signs….I knew he was nuts then….haven’t drank the kool-aid since! And don’t regret my decision!
Hmm someone probably already named this movie but that Candyman reference made me think of the movie The Skeleton Key….two former murdered slaves casting vodoo spells on the white couples and stealing their bodies. (Social context question of the day: Hmm but are they trying to say that deep down black people aspire to be white?…lol)
lol yeah the skeleton key made me say “whoa”. i was disappointed to say the least.
Right….I’m like wth?….lol
Okay I like most movies (except scary ones). So it’s hard for me to make a pick. But since we’re talking about stuff we don’t like. I want to mention the snowbunny in lingerie up there talkin about votin. What in the sam hades? I mean yeah get out n vote but. Really she looks like she’s from a catalog add back when Jim Crow would c0ck off @ my people. Then again maybe I’d like to hit it real good one time for all of those who wanted to and couldn’t. See what I do. I need a decisiveness class.
btw does anybody know what movie my nickname is from today? & I’m glad it got no bad mentionings today too.
No, I haven’t a clue.
Don’t keep us in the dark.
This actor was Ramathorn in Soopertroopers (the man w/ no nationality). And In Beerfest he was the master @ quarters. N he did it to Monique.
btw I don’t kow his real name.
Yeah…I would’ve never gotten that.
That sounds like a daily double question.
supertroopers–pointless but hilarious.
It is an attempt at the name from Beerfest. It was Barry Badrinath in the movie. He was a quarters champ and was terrified of playing beer pong because he once had a paddle shoved up his butt. He inspired me to make my first A$$HOLE hat out of a beer box.
Right on Buck! I <3 beer.
I want to mention the snowbunny in lingerie up there talkin about votin. What in the sam hades? I mean yeah get out n vote but. Really she looks like she’s from a catalog add back when Jim Crow would c0ck off @ my people. Then again maybe I’d like to hit it real good one time for all of those who wanted to and couldn’t. See what I do. I need a decisiveness class.
i dont know if i’m mad or glad that you’re the first one to say anything about her, lol
Requiem for a dream.
That movie had me so disturbed…I can’t even explain. Just say no to drugs, kiddies.
Honorable mention to Revolver. This movie made absolutely no sense to me. Me and my boy were sitting there afterwards like, wait…what?
HOLLLLEEEE UP! Revolver. Yo. When I come over to watch the village. I’ll sit through it w/ U n x-plain. That movie rocked. Requiem I just remember Marlon Wayans dancin n runnin round laked. Yeah drugs is bad like naditie.
I was upset that I couldn’t get revolver. We really sat there and tried to disect it piece by piece.
Did you listen to the comentary during the credits?
It’s really about how humility is a great piece of savua fare.
Requiem for a dream.
Co-sign!
Requiem for a dream.
That movie had me so disturbed…I can’t even explain. Just say no to drugs, kiddies.
that movie was disturbing..the imagery was so vivid and surreal at the same time. It was like a watching a movie shot inside a Salvador Dali painting..
“It was like a watching a movie shot inside a Salvador Dali painting.”
that is EXACTLY what it is like… another bad acid trip
my vote for w.t.f plots would definitely go to
1. donnie darko…i know people think it was deep or whatever, i was not amused
2. burn after reading-i really wanted to like this, i even chuckled every now and then, but i left the movie just shaking my head wondering why
For realz?
i thought of some more make-me-say-hmmmmm movies. not completely inane or stupid plots, but overall just missed the mark (to me):
-Vantage Point. the premise was interesting and had such great potential. and then… it ended. maybe i missed something?
-For Queen & Country. i just don’t know. couldn’t find the point or motivation behind this film.
-Eastern Promises. again, couldn’t understand the motivation or point.
-The Diving Bell and Butterfly (french film). granted, it was based on a true story, but it just ended with no resolution or reconciliation. take creative license and spure up the story! maybe i’m too much of a romantic.
Okay Eastern Promises was one of the most gangster medieval iceberg blooded flicks. You got to know something about russian and balcany countries gangstars n jail life. This movie was close to the godfather/donnie brasco in that respect.
yeah i get the fascination with russian mafia and all that. but the whole baby and diary angle seemed so unnecessary and poorly followed through. Anna’s role seemed so meaningless. idk. maybe it’s just me.
Nope I had the same reaction to Diving Bell and Butterfly…which reminds me–is it just me or does it seem that most black people in general don’t get into movies like this?..(Or I am I making a false generaliztion?lol)
lol well it’s a foreign film–they aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, black white or other. my mom actually saw it and recommended it to me. i think it was cool with the whole blinking eye communication and what not. but i was like this dude is letting his ex-wife take care of him and he’s still in love with his s!ut lover and tells her so in front of the ex?? balls, i tell ya. and the fact he just dies of pneumonia at the end was like d@mn. i felt he had a lot of apologizing and repenting to do before he said good bye cruel world.
“Eastern Promises. again, couldn’t understand the motivation or point.”
i want to see this, just because i have a thing for flicks set in russia
it isn’t set in russia–it’s in london.
But it did bring gangstars from eastern europe n russia n stuff. you remember the borsch scene don’t you.
borscht as in the soup? no, i don’t remember any such scene.
i do, however, remember and like the scene where viggo’s character is initiated and gets his star tattoos.
That was him getting ‘made’ n the okay I’ma stop right here w/ the spoiler.
i know i’m gonna come off as a jerk when i say this, but um…what does this have to do with relationships? does movie compatibility speak to some higher understanding of self and your partner? i’m reaching, i know.
anyway, i’ll play…here goes:
The Fountain
I heart&; Huckabees
There Will Be Blood
Dr. Strangelove
Snoop Dogg’s Doggystyle…lol
You sure it was called doggystyle I thaught it was Bossin Up.
that came out later, doggystyle was his first ‘hustler’ movie. i think boss’n up was actually trying to be a movie. a straight to video movie, but a movie never the less.
aaaaahahahahaha okay I haven’t seen that one. Thanks PatEcAkes
I thought I heart Huckabees was good…
But I def agree on The Fountain. Bloody waste of my 60+ minutes. *hiss*
I heart huckabees gave me hives.
i don’t think i got more than 30 minutes into that movie before i just wanted to slap the living bejesus out of somebody.
just like pootie tang. though that slap-a-ninja belt had me dying. pootie tang is definitely a movie that requires negative medication to make it thru.
i know i’m gonna come off as a jerk when i say this, but um…what does this have to do with relationships? does movie compatibility speak to some higher understanding of self and your partner? i’m reaching, i know.
thats a really, really good question
champ, i love it when you answer a question with a question….NOT.
Just about any movie Bruce Campbell was the star in makes no real sense to me. Army of Darkness is a classic but what the hell……..really!
this is true. i think bruce campbell doesnt agree to make any movies unless he’s sure they wont make any sense
On a side note, I hate Tuesday’s and Thursday’s , since I teach class at 11 I get here all kind of late and feel like I have missed half the party
theres actually an afterparty going on in wu’s spot in the corner later on, if you want to attend
Dagg we gots to get Goodie n Buck back in the spizot. smh
I’m never too far away! You know a party aint a party if I ain’t drunk and throwing people over my shoulder!
can i come too?
Just don’t do the Jim Brown. Throwin hoochies out of hotel windows. I just learned this from an old schooler @ the barbershop this weekend. smh
can I be the first you throw over your shoulder… um I aint getting drunk though, I just want to go for the ride
not sure if anyone’s mentioned this (there’s too many posts!), but candyman was based off a short story by Clive Barker (Hellraiser series) where the Candyman was actually a white dude haunting a british tennement. some nosey broad ends up being his victim, but she’s not really all that more special than anyone else he’s murdered.
the weirdest movie i’d ever seen (mind you, i was a film major) was Gummo. hard to find but seriously completely nonsensical, nonsequitor filmmaker by a doped-up daydreamer with too much time and money on his hands.
p.s. try seeing Candyman at ten years old and realizing dude looks just like your Uncle Kenneth.
i’m also now going to shorten my dang name.
welcome titmouse. and yeah, uncle candyman would scare the sh*t out of me
I’m not really one to go in on a movie cause
- the acting was bad
- I don’t “feel” for the characters
- there were plot holes (non-existent plot)
If I wanted the truth, i’d go the library. It’s a made up story. These things didn’t really happen. So who am I to make a fiction comport with reality?
But everyonce in a while a flick will come along that even my low standards has to say hell no to.
“I think i’m gonna cheat on my wife” – something like that, starring Chris Rock.
That movie shoulda ended with him still smiling despite the facts that a divorce court judge gave his wife 90% of his assets and Meagan Goode still ended up boinking some c-grade neo-souler.
There’s no way that a sane man would have said no to that. 100 percent of men in the same situation would have bust up in that raw.
There’s no way that a sane man would have said no to that. 100 percent of men in the same situation would have bust up in that raw.
even though that movie sucked, i’ve always maintained that kerry washington’s character was the perfect anti-christ
I think the movie is called the 13th night . . . Antonio Banderas learned an ENTIRE language one night while at a campfire . . . this always bothered me.
apparently you have not read the alchemist
Apparently not . . . is that the premise for this movie?
The alchemist is a book, in it there is a part where the protagonist learns the language of the people he is surrounded by in the same manner
the Antonio Banderas film you refer to is the 13th Warrior
no comparison. the 13th warrior was poo on a stick.
alchemist changes lives. LoL
The Last Dragon….
I realize that is negro blasphemy akin to voting for John McCain….but someone has to say it
The Last Dragon makes no sense from start to finish….why was he eating popcorn with chopsticks? Why does a shogun wear converse and why is he not honorable? Why would anyone give that high voiced white chick ANYTHING let alone a music video? Why did Vanity not get naked?
I swear the only good part of The Last Dragon was Keisha Knight-Pulliam a.k.a. Rudy Sweet Feet Huxtable and her adorable cameo!!!
What dude..it was but its a classic
who’s the baddest mofo low down around this town?
and of course.. Catching Bullets with yo teef? Ni$$a please!
LMAO…
Then the scene where the three chinese dudes were outside the fortune cookie factory singing.. saki saki su saki you..you sock it tome I sock it to you……LMAO
I never drank the Last Dragon Kool-aid….maybe it’s because I didn’t see it as a kid….
That movie is the ultimate suck as far as I’m concerned!
you ask some great questions.
it almost sounds like a continued version of ghost’s verse in “4th chamber”
Ghost probably WROTE the Last Dragon….yes I am implying that his rhymes are nonsensical as well….LOL…I’m on a roll!
Ghost probably WROTE the Last Dragon….yes I am implying that his rhymes are nonsensical as well….LOL…I’m on a roll!
Now see… I almost put you on my list but you saved it with this.. I too t hink Ghost gets “lost in translation” which is another movie that would not be out of place on this thread
That movie where Jim Carrey was trying to off those kids with special powers was stupid too, I can’t remember the name of it.
The Cube was stupid and confusing. I saw this movie called the Russian Ark with my wife that was also pretty hard to follow. Much of the movie was in Russian and it was shot in one take. It’s supposed to be a classic but I just found it boring and confusing.
Pan’s Labyrinth was stupid too.
Pan’s Labyrinth was stupid too.
blasphemy!!!!!
me gusta “el laberinto del fauno”! my people made that!
random: ummmm who authorized Coolio having his own show?!?!?! that’s just unreasonable.
the same people who gave him a grammy
I know this is late but what about Shadow Boxer?
please expound
Champ? what the he.ll? I was saying that Shadowboxer fits the criteria of this post. It was an oddly intriguing movie with a preposterous plot. The son of an abusive assassin is adopted by his fathers girlfriend, who later becomes his lover and partner in the assassination biz…throw in Monique as a crack head and the fact that he falls in love with a “mark” and has s.e.x and kills his mother/lover at her request….I mean I could go on but you get the point
one word: GUMMO
please expound, new person whose name sounds like a computer virus
hahahaha!
LOL @ her name sounding like a virus. But not to loudly.
i second that, chantal. nothing but ninety minutes following two white trash families. one kills cats, the other loooooves them and dying their hair an incredible silver-blonde while ripping electrical tape from their b00bies.
coke-trip goodness.
yeah, i’m new to posting here…deal with it
)
this movie was waaayyy trippy. white trash bored out of their minds in kansas. teens running around killing cats. one dude was pimping out his mentally challenged sister. and there was a midget. if you are under the influence of any kind of drug… do not watch this movie.
Jackie’s Back!!
A mockumentary about Jackie Washington a DIVA extraordinaire it made me cry with laughter! With such lines as Get me a Latte, make it a double Entendre (Jackie’s daughter) and People DIE on Jackie Washington Day delivered by Whoopi Goldberg who plays her jealous sister.
The movie is CHALKED full of cameos, Jennifer Lewis as Jackie and Tim Curry as the British reporter narrating the mockumentary this movie is CLASSIC and just INSANE. But it works
It really isn’t inane more than PURE hilarity. Such a classic that so few have seen. SHAME! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0202409/quotes
-OG
“Jackie’s Back” is on my netflix list. I love mockumentaries. I think Christopher Guest is like, the KING of this genre. “Best In Show” is one of the funniest movies I’ve ever seen.
I Know Who Killed Me.
Who the fudgepops wrote that script?
And the only reason I watched it (today) was because I was in bed sick all day.
I now am so lost, confused, and just purely worry about Lindsay Lohan and the drugs she took before accepting that role.
Also, American Psycho. It was weird. Christian Bale scared me.
And wtf is up with the business card scene?
And wtf is up with the business card scene?
that shyt still happens today..the more respected and higher up the hierarchy your position is the nicer your business card is.. Raised lettering, watermarks, decorative border etc etc.. I think an admin got fired for ordering nicer cards for herself than the manager she reported too.. they said it was something else but we all knew the business….
What about Jeepers Creepers?? I promise they made that sh!t up as they went along. Please tell me somebody has seen that movie!
I saw 1&2 and I rarely reflect on that time wasted. I STILL don’t get the movie.
Man, I tried that Candyman shit back in the day on a $5 bet with my cousin. I went in the bathroom, cut the lights out, and said that shit twice before kicking the door open and just giving him the $5!
*late*
And this is my first post.
Silent Hill
dumbest.movie.ever
Visitor Q is the craziest movie ive ever seen.