Ask Agatha: Effective Online Dating Profiles And Proper Spades Reneging Etiquette » VSB

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Ask Agatha: Effective Online Dating Profiles And Proper Spades Reneging Etiquette

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Robin from Brooklyn, NY asks:

 I’ve finally talked myself into signing up for online dating. There are lots of eligible men in NY but I don’t go out enough to meet any of them. Between my job and my lifestyle, I’ve decided this is the easiest way to go about meeting men. So now that I’ve signed up for it, what do I say in my profile? It’s not Tinder.

I’m pretty sure independent researchers have already proven that as a woman, it doesn’t matter what you say. Say anything. Write “cats, cats, cats, cats, cats, cats…” over and over again. Heck, copy and paste what I wrote in mine verbatim if you want.

aggy

It’s not particularly witty or deep. And it certainly doesn’t give you any real insight into who I am as a person (or maybe it does). Either way it doesn’t matter.

You’ll still get men telling you you’re witty and deep. I mean the conversation has to start somewhere. So even if you do write “cats, cats, cats, cats, cats, cats…” A few men are going to hit you up and say “So cats, huh?” The rest are just going to say “hey”. Or “hey beautiful”. Or “I like your smile”.

Don’t believe me? Well here are some of the messages sent to me during my 48-hour foray into online dating.

aggy2

So say anything.

In fact, Tinder or not, the only thing you need as you wade into these online dating waters are nice pictures (and make sure at least one of them is an unobstructed full-length photo—this is the equivalent of them checking under the hood).

No they won’t care about who you are as a person yet.

But you don’t care about who they are as a person yet either. That’s why you’ll skip right past the witty messages, straight to the hottie with the dimples who sent you the smiling emoji.

Either way, stop stalling.

Leshawn from Pittsburgh, PA asks:

When my girl and I first started kicking it she was always completely hairless down there. Clean as a whistle. Now we’ve been together almost two years and she’s stopped grooming I guess. She must be feeling really comfortable but I don’t fucking like it. I can deal with it if we’re just having intercourse but going down on her is no bueno. Are you going to tell me to just suck it up?

Leshawn I wouldn’t dream of telling you to just suck up anything. But what’re you going to do?

You absolutely cannot tell her she needs to shave or wax or Nair or whatever she used to do (at least not outright). Because there’s no way she doesn’t get in her feelings and let everything else go as well. You think she isn’t “grooming” now but wait until you see her with a three-week-old mustache, razor sharp leg stubble and wild armpit hair with the deodorant gunked up in it—just to spite you.

Your best bet is to do the old “hairball” trick.

This will require you going down on her one last time but before you do it, you’re going to need hair and lots of it—the coarse kinky hair that can only come from pubes. And it’s going to have to be your own. I mean where else are you going to get pubic hair?

Shave everything. Balls too.

I would shower first because this wad of hair is going to have to go in your mouth.

There’s no help for it. This is the only way.

Now once it’s in your mouth (it should be tucked up into your cheeks like a cow’s cud) and you get her on her back…go to town. Give it your all. And take a long time. Don’t just stop at one orgasm. Keep lapping at her until she’s rearing to go for another round.

Yes, have intercourse. And don’t let her coarse hairs abrading your freshly shaved pubis distract you from the goal at hand.

Give it to her good.

And once she’s satiated. Maybe about to doze off. This is your cue.

This is when you cough up the world’s biggest hairball. (Not on her of course!)

And after she recovers from the horror of what just took place, tell her you finally realized what blowjobs and sex must’ve felt like for her for the past two years.

Stephanie from New York, NY asks:

What are some nontraditional places to meet men?

 Zara’s.

Seriously.

I dare you to try it.

Zara’s is a mid-sized mid-priced trendy clothing store—and the men that shops there are usually attractive cosmopolitan types. Which can be said of a lot of stores but there’s something about Zara’s layout, which usually has the men’s department on a separate floor, out of the way (meaning there’s very little intermingling of the sexes), and their staff, who don’t hover, which lends itself to the perfect environment for a meet-cute.

You basically step into that section of the store and the odds are immediately in your favor and there’s no one to help you chose between the oxford and denim shirt but the hottie with the dimples rifling through the racks right next to you.

And when he asks whom it’s for, tell him it’s for you to sleep in.

Just be sure to go during the week, when it’s less likely to be couples shopping together.

Robert from Queens, NY asks:

Everyone knows you can’t force a renege and if you do renege and it gets called out, you and your partner lose three books. But if you realize you’ve reneged, when is your last chance to correct your error? Before the hand is booked i.e. before the trick/book has been added to the teams’ pile of books? Or is it before the next card is played? Meaning the last hand was booked but the person that took the book hasn’t thrown out another card yet. My cousins and I almost came to blows but I’m pretty sure I’m right. I won’t tell you what I think though because I don’t want to sway you either way.

Well since I was there, and because my partner is never wrong. I’ll tell you what I told you that night. The hand was booked. It was too late to take the card back. Once the hand is booked the only thing you can do at that point is let it ride and hope we don’t catch the renege.

Period. Point. Blank.

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Agatha Guilluame

Agatha is a figment of the collective VSB imagination.

  • Leggy

    Just tell your girlfriend to shave. I don’t understand being in a relationship when you can’t open your mouth and speak. It’s not like you’re asking her to change who she is as a person.

    • Mika

      Yea I mean that’s just easy. Say…..”I like it like this……..” blah blah blah

    • Aly

      I would “ask” not “tell” :)

      • Leggy

        Semantics. You know what I meant.

    • Cleojonz

      This is true. I have no objection to this. Especially if she still expects him to give head. He could just stop and when she asks why he won’t do that anymore he could bring up the shaving. It’s not unreasonable.

    • Brooklyn_Bruin

      Dude probably made some far more innocent request, remark, or suggestion before and then had to deal with the consequences.

      Cutting through the Amazon jungle with a butter knife is better than facing off against a perturbed puma.

  • Quirlygirly

    Renege is complete once the card hit the table and you get caught. If you don’t get caught have have not reneged. So say QG!

  • PDL – Cape Girl

    Chiiiile, you went there…LOL

    No bueno with online dating…period. Get on out there and meet folks. Church, grocery store, shopping, etc.

    I nearly gagged at the cough up a hairball thingy (yeah, I’m weird/squeamish like that)…..LOL Personally that seems a bit much when dude can cop a squat and have a talk about grooming and upkeep.

    • Mika

      I would have to say that dudes are equally as creepy/awkward in person, LOL.

      • PDL – Cape Girl

        LOL

      • SimplePseudonym

        and people resort to on-line dating because the “Get on out there and met folks. Church, grocery store, shopping, etc.” idea failed. On-line dating is rarely the first step.

  • Val

    I really think this trend of grown women looking like 12 year old girls “down there” is weird and also kind of creepy. I mean 12 year old girls shouldn’t be the standard for any grown woman and the creepy part is people are now attracted to grown women who look like girls “down there”.

    Grooming is fine but being bald takes it way too far, IMO.

    • PDL – Cape Girl

      I like my “womaness (can I say this).” I’m all about bathing and keeping groomed, smelling good and looking good. And no, I’m nowhere near “wilderbeast” status, but I like what comes with being a woman.

      I agree, I don’t want to look like a 12 year old.

      • Val

        Lol@ wilderbeast. I agree.

      • I like to keep mine low-cut. Nice lil’ Dark Caesar for the panther…

        • Quirlygirly

          Wait- not the Panther..BOL!!!!

        • PDL – Cape Girl

          It’s really not complicated. Folks been finding the hot spot for years with no issue. All this new age stuff…LOLOL

          • Sigma_Since 93

            I think genital piercings have something to do with it also, It’s hard to display your wares when they are buried in the bush.

            • Val

              Huh? I really don’t think there’s that large of a percentage of women who have piercings to justify that as a reason.

              • Sigma_Since 93

                How big or little the contribution I can’t quantify. I’m using as a trendline the wider acceptance of piercings and the how the vag went from bush to air strip to bald; there seems to be some parallels

                • PDL – Cape Girl

                  Todd will know.

            • PDL – Cape Girl

              I’m old school. No hammers, drills, nails, piercings, NONE OF THAT near wonderland. Not that kind of pain anyway. LOL

              • Brother Mouzone

                Wonderland? lol…I hear ya!

                • PDL – Cape Girl

                  Yaaas

        • PhlyyPhree

          I just spit out my soup.
          “Nice lil Dark Caesar for the panther”

        • brothaskeeper

          …..

          • LOL he looks…disinterested.

            • brothaskeeper

              He’s very interested. He’s just not letting on…

              • LOLOLOL way to play it cool athlete guy.

              • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

                Notice the observant eye-movement.

      • Asiyah

        I wouldn’t even be able to to wilderbeast if I wanted. I can’t take the itchiness. I must do something about it.

        • PDL – Cape Girl

          They don’t understand. Stuff growing back and you can’t scratch cause you’re on a elevator or in a meeting or with friends. Nope, no can do the shaving thing.

          • Asiyah

            I still shave, but I can’t let it grow out too much. The most I can go is two weeks without shaving. It gets too itchy at that point so I resolve the problem.

    • DebKII

      My comment is in purgatory! BUT I was waiting for this comment. The pubescent look just came into fashion only like 20 years ago…can we just go backwards please? Waxing is h e l l.

      • Quirlygirly

        Waxing is h e l l.

        Especially if you have thick course hair. When you think about what waxing is it will make you run for the forest. The hair you grew from your body is ripped from your body..RIPPED!!

        • It baffles me that women claim to enjoy getting waxed. I mean…I can find NO way that would be pleasurable. Not even the after effects. Personally I don’t like being bald there.

          • PDL – Cape Girl

            LIES!!

          • Pinks

            Girl. Get you some tongue action with your joint freshly shorn (as in like 2 days later to make sure you don’t have any adverse reaction) and then let’s have a chat. Ain’t nothing to mess with.

            I promise you it will change your life. Trust me.

            • meh…not a huge fan of all that in the first place. Less of a fan of physical pain

              • Pinks

                Yea waxing isn’t for everyone.

                • brothaskeeper

                  I’m just here for the comments. Don’t mind me…

            • She

          • Kat

            I just like pain…

        • DebKII

          I cry everytime! And I’ll admit, I’m uber effected by this patriarchal view of sexiness, so I have my appts booked, but d a m n can we give up on this trend?

          • sasha

            I stopped waxing years ago and just Nair. Best switch ever. And cheaper. And less painful. And I could keep going but u get it.

            • PhlyyPhree

              Yea, but you have to be SO careful with the Nair. I was doing that for a while and um… yea nah. Left it on a little too long one day, never no more.

            • Qris_10

              Question: Does Nair irritate? I was advised against the Nair by a friend who got to burnin down there after using it. She had to go the urgent care doc for assistance……I have never waxed, shaved, etc. b/c I don’t really need to (basically I grow a negligible amount of semi-fine hairs in that area) but I’ve been flirting with the idea of going completely bald. Waxing scares me and shaving does too. I don’t grow ANY hair on my underarms or legs so never had to use a razor

              • sasha

                You’re lucky. Every skin is different. Shaving causes irritation. Waxing is too painful and I honestly rather drop $$ towards a weave or something. Lol. I use Nair for coarse hair and it never irritates (me). I used to be careful than realized no irritation occurs so now i apply it VERY generously and 10 mns later = bald :) I will even disclose that I apply it in my “groceries” area. ;)

                • Qris_10

                  Alright I may give it a go. Do a test area first. Thanx!

              • SimplePseudonym

                I use Nair. The trick is to cover your mucosa (i.e. clitoris, inside the labia, any skin that doesn’t have the same texture as your stomach skin) with either cotton balls or toilet paper so that the Nair doesn’t irritate that sensitive skin. I’ve been Nairing down there for over a decade- no trips to the ER.

          • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

            Hold on..let me check back with the Men Union on this. Uhhh, the answer I’m getting back is no…no we cannot.

        • Pinks

          Once I started going regularly, the pain became negligible. It’s like getting eyebrows threaded. But I’ve heard people say that’s excruciating while to me it only feels like a pinch.

          • Now I LOVE the feeling of threading. Most people say it hurts, but it never hurt me.

            • Val

              I swear by threading. Having a good threader is such a joy.

            • Pinks

              My girl Johti is a miracle worker. $2 every three weeks for snatched eyebrows? I’ll take it.

              • $2?! wait…where you livin’? Even where I live it’s at least $7

                • Pinks

                  NY! There are a lot of Indians and Pakistanis in my neighborhood tho, so I guess the saturation makes the price super low.

            • Asiyah

              I hate the feeling but I love the aftermath. My eyebrows look better after threading than after waxing.

          • PhlyyPhree

            See, my eyebrows? Torture. I will gladly get in there with a razor every week and clean myself up.
            Waxing? Meh. I barely notice

            • Pinks

              Razor on my brows means I’m doing it like every two days. For some reason the threading keeps them at bay longer. I feel like if I went through childbirth I can take a Brazilian lol

              • PhlyyPhree

                LOL. I got my first Brazilian after I had my child (It was a push gift) which is probably why it never bothered me.

        • Glockenspiel

          It really depends on the type of wax that is used. For coarse, curly hair, a wax that hardens is best (which is used at European Wax Center). The hard wax removes more hair at one time (quicker, less painful). On the flip side, if they use the same wax that is used for eyebrows……..take 3 extra skrength Tylenol and vaya con Dios……..

          • Man listen… Gigi is YO FRIEND!!

          • Quirlygirly

            I didn’t know that. Thanks for letting me know. I never had the girl below waxed but the one time I had my eyebrows done. It hurt and I was red and swollen. Red and swollen is never cute.

            • Glockenspiel

              NP! For your first time, my suggestion is to not go full Brazilian…..just a little more than an edge up and have them “clean the alley”. See how you like that : )

          • charisma_supreme

            Yes. Blue or white hard wax, no strip. It’s not painful for me. I’ve also done sugaring before and still very tolerable.

      • Val

        And if I’m not mistaken (help me out here, Todd) this trend came from adult films. Which makes it even more weird.

        • Lea Thrace

          “(help me out here, Todd)”

          I cackled so loudly at you shining a fla(e)shlight for our resident expert in kink. BWAHAHAHAHA

          • Aly

            fla(e)shlight

            LOL!

        • DebKII

          Well most men learn everything about how to do the secks from adult films so…not surprised.

          • Jasmine

            I was talking to my friend about this. She just had s e x for the first time and the guy she was with still expected backflips…..like in the p o r n he watches.

            • miss t-lee

              Bless his heart.

          • DBoySlim

            We do and it is a terrible example to follow. It’s like basing your travel behavior on Dora the Explorer. It looks right but it may not work in real life.

          • miss t-lee

            Unfortunately.

        • You are correct. Trends in pubic grooming usually mirror trends in the #SexWorkIndustry are the time…when it became vogue in the industry to be clean shaven, it became vogue at home.

        • Brooklyn_Bruin

          From what I’ve heard in Bible study, lots of things start in those movies, but most of them don’t crossover.

          • PhlyyPhree

            What church do you go to? Sounds like somewhere that needs my tithes

          • brothaskeeper

            We were just discussing this very same topic at length in my prayer circle last week, and how absolutely deplorable it was. I had to watch several segments just to see how abhorred I would be (results are pending)…

        • Specifically 90s adult films. It blew up at Internet pr0n became a thing.

          • Lea Thrace

            Who knows? The Todd knows!

            • I’ve been a long time fan of adult cinema. That probably says a lot about me but oh well.

        • miss t-lee

          Very true.

        • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

          Shade factor: x10 magnification. lol.

          • Val

            Lol No shade. Todd just knows about that stuff.

      • Cleojonz

        mine too, I think I know what the offending word was though. Grr disqus!

      • Brother Mouzone

        My comment too!!! Did I offend the shaved c**chy lobby?

      • We need back to the 70s Pam Grier fro p*ssy bliss.

        • DebKII

          Yaaaas. Be kind to it and it will be kind to you.

    • Quirlygirly

      I think it is creepy too! Women already shave or Nair their underarms and legs. I swear some men want a hairless cat not a woman

      • DebKII

        all the hair on the head tho! dont forget that. A hairless cat with hair to the booty.

      • Ess Tee

        “I swear some men want a hairless cat not a woman”

        In more ways than one.

      • miss t-lee

        Basically.

    • occupiesthethrone

      The last dude I dated would get offended if I shaved, it was great. He would be like “I like grown women!!”. Ah, memories. I would just keep ms. cat groomed, but I didn’t have to do too much. Too bad he waa crazy or it could have been a beautiful relationship.

      • I cackled.. My husband is JUST LIKE THAT! Keep the trim trimmed! lol

        • occupiesthethrone

          Your hubby is the real MVP. As long as the hair isn’t hitting my knees in length, he was happy. No landing strip neither. He wanted the all natural.

          • miss t-lee

            I’ve known dudes like this also. They really are the MVPs.

    • Leggy

      I don’t think it’s creepy because I personally HATE hair and I always go for men who are hairless or who are willing to shave. I just think its a preference. I always ask my men to shave too. To each his own.

    • Medium Meech

      I don’t think it’s about the aesthetic. For a lot of us Its more about functionality and hygiene. I mean you don’t have to go all old testament Sodom and Gomorrah and scorch the earth but shaving makes it more fun for everybody.

      • Aly

        Hygiene? How so?

        • Val

          Right. Same rules of hygiene apply whether you have hair or not. I think people are loathe to admit that it’s about the look of it.

          • miss t-lee

            That’s exactly what it is. Val.
            I believe it.

        • Medium Meech

          Wow. Ok. i thought this was a common assumption. Is it easier to clean carpet or a wood floor? I groom cause I thought it was common curtsey. But different strokes.

          • Aly

            I mean, it’s not that complicated. Just use some soap and water and voila you’re clean.

            • Pinks

              Have y’all heard that soap is bad for the jay jay and we should only use water? I think it was on a feminist website, but I can’t remember which. My gyno said she agreed.

              • Aly

                No, I didn’t know this! I know you’re not supposed to d o u c h e because it throws off your ph or whatever, but I hadn’t heard about soap.

                • Pinks

                  YEas, she said soap throws off your pH. I was like well I’ll be damned. Dove works well for me, doe.

                  • Aly

                    Yup, that’s what I use, too.

              • Quirlygirly

                I heard that too. My gyno said soap kills the good bacteria and throws of the PH balance

                • miss t-lee

                  Yeah. PH balance is so serious.

              • L8Comer

                The vag is very effective at self cleaning. Never heard you shouldn’t use soap, but definitely nothing scented. I think a mild, unscented soap is fine… just not a ton if it. But honestly, a good rinsing will probably do the trick.

                • Val

                  I use glycerin soap and I’ve never had any problems.

                  • Peppermint and lavender castile SOAP ALL DAY!!

                    You can actually smell the difference when you use soaps with a ton of dyes and additives.. Your body chemistry reacts to that…..

                    If you sweat.. Lavender cornstarch by Johnson’s.. I am an athlete so you gotta know what works.. lol

                    • Val

                      What sport? (hoping NWT says track and field)

                    • Volleyball and tennis! :-) Running is the worst for me!! All that reverb with this T&A.. nope!!

                      My kid sister and daughter are track aficionadas!! Sister ran a the Detroit marathon. I was impressed.. I was like, ” I will have water at the end for you!” hahahahaha

                    • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

                      Yo gotta be careful about that peppermint though…I’ve heard from some friends about bad experiences with some Dr. Bonners in the tunnel of love.

                    • It’s strong for some..but I’ve used it since I was a kid.. it’s full strength for me..lol

                • Pinks

                  I was advised Dove all white bars or nothing. I also have a liquid Cetaphil cleanser for when I feel like a rinse might not do it justice lol

                  • L8Comer

                    Yep, I use dove!

                • miss t-lee

                  I always tell these dudes out here, trust the owner of said vajay.

          • >_> LOL You sir are reaching. Hair can hold in odors and such sure…but it is NOT more difficult to clean your vag if it has hair…That simply is not true.

            • Medium Meech

              I’m not trying to offend. People have had eager beavers for centuries with no hygiene issues. All I can say is try a Brazilian and see how your partner likes and get him get a Philly fade and see if you like it.

              • I would like men who advocate for Brazillians to get one. Just once. Let a stranger lay you down, spread your legs, smear hot wax over your delicate parts, then RIP it out with the wrath of Zeus. THEN have you turn over and spread your cheeks to repeat the process. Just ONCE. I’d love a man to be like “I’ll do it” They never say they will tho. Because it’s a ridiculous thing.

                • Pinks

                  Not a full Brazilian up his a s s , but I know a man who’s gotten his man parts waxed. And no, he isn’t gay or a pr0n star.

                  • Nah…I want the FULL MONTY. They so cavalier with a suggestion they would not go with themselves.

                    • Pinks

                      Go for the killlllllll lol

                    • LOL you gotta do what I gotta do. So I know it’s real.

                    • Medium Meech

                      Listen, I’m just out here trying to politely say what your dude is thinking. This is why Leshawn is scared to ask his girl to landscape. I’m convinced this is half the reason girls think there are guys out there that don’t like to go down on women. Na, they just don’t like hair in their food.

                    • I think more men just need to admit they have no idea what they are doing. Groomed, Shaven, or otherwise oral attention has never evaded me. I think if you are finding a lot of hair in your mouth…your mouth is in the wrong places. Figure it out.

                    • Aly

                      Tell em.

                    • Medium Meech

                      You’re absolutely right. If I find hair in mouth I think my mouth is in the wrong place… your damp crotch sweater. Lucky for me there are plenty of mature girls girls out there who I can have a conversation about preferences and vice versa without them getting defensive and telling me I’m a pedophile or “you do it first”.

                    • Aly

                      Damp crotch sweater?? Wtf??

                    • Medium Meech

                      I’m sensitive about my craft. You can’t come for what I WORKED ALL MY LIFE ON without me clapping back.

                    • “mature girls” seems like an oxymoron.

                  • miss t-lee

                    I do too.
                    It’s a no bueno.
                    Especially when you aren’t expecting that.

                • Medium Meech

                  Yeah, I’ve never asked anyone to get a Brazilian.I just appreciate them. But that’s a different conversation. You say it’s not worth the hassle to you, nothing I can say. But that doesn’t make the results any less desirable.

                • ED

                  That’s why I don’t ask the wife to do it. I wouldn’t do it myself

                • THIS!!! 40 Year Old Virgin dat a ss

                • meh. i’d try it.

              • Dee

                I have had men who LOVE hair down there. They love how it holds on to the womanly smell. So it’s just a personal preference.

                • Medium Meech

                  I 100% agree, totally a preference. But people are arguing that it doesn’t hold on to that womanly smell… That’s more my point.

              • Brother Mouzone

                I can’t get past the look of it…give me the well groomed upside down triangle any day.

          • Pinks

            I get your point, and hair can hold odors, but you can have a funky bald cooch too.

            • Medium Meech

              I mean, of course… still doesn’t change that fact that you’re dealing with a different baseline. All things equal there’s clearly a superior choice…

      • Quirlygirly

        Functionality? Hair prevents proper functioning?

        • Medium Meech

          Really??? Ok, well I guess I’ll be the pub(l)ic service announcement guy. No hair exposes more surface area. And people are more enthusiastic about the process without the random hairs. You’ll get better service if you keep your storefront up. People can listen to the one guy on the thread or get defensive, your choice…

          • The area where MY hair grows…doesn’t need any enthusiastic treatment. Focus on the active areas…My #MonsPubis does not need or benefit for lingual stimulation

            • ED

              If the hair is long enough it’s in the way of the active areas.

          • Quirlygirly

            I wasn’t getting defensive. I was asking because I am thinking functionality from a woman’s POV not a males and I was asking from a non snarky or defensive place.

            • PDL – Cape Girl

              A man that’s not a doctor can’t tell a woman what’s best and how to handle/treat her body. “Fun for everybody” usually ain’t necessarily fun for women.

              • miss t-lee

                Say it.

                • PDL – Cape Girl

                  Folks will have you going through all kinds of changes if you ain’t careful…LOL

                  • miss t-lee

                    Exactly. Which is why you gotta do what’s best for you…lol

          • Pinks

            It just depends on preference. Some women and men like it wolfing down there. I personally don’t think it makes me any less of a woman to be bald nor does it make him creepy or pedo to desire that, but *shrugs* as long as it’s clean and well taken care of….

      • Pinks

        Shaving? And then get razor bumps all up and down the hooha?

        What kind of savage is putting a razor to their lady parts?

        • Medium Meech

          I don’t know the specifics and methodology involved, as long as the hair gets gone.

        • tgtaggie

          That sounds painful. lol

        • L8Comer

          Lol! Present! I don’t get razor burn or bumps though, I did when I was much younger so I used an electric razor and nair… but since 18 or so I stopped getting razor burn and bumps completely. Men’s shaving products are the best

          • Sigma_Since 93

            Every night I’ve gotta fight to keep my products to myself!

            • L8Comer

              Lol! I buy my own… been using men’s products since I was a teen. Idk why the industry plays women like that though

              • Sigma_Since 93

                Mrs. SS93 found out how well men’s products worked when I had to trim her up when she couldn’t see her feet due to the baby. If I knew what I know now, I would have let that bush grow! lol

          • Pinks

            Nair always burned my skin quickly so I switched to the beaded wax, which is much gentler on skin. My husband’s Gillette razor does work better for legs than the women’s ones. It makes total sense too.

            • L8Comer

              I guess b/c razor burn or bumps are more of an issue for men cuz the hair on the their face is coarse and the skin is soft? I don’t use Nair anymore… it doesn’t really work down there very well for me.

              I’m Terrified to wax down there. My friend told me some of her skin came off once and I have no pain tolerance. Another friend now has dark scars in her bikini area from it.. and I’m the scaring type. I am curious for about the …schmexual benefits you alluded to down thread though lol.

              • Dee

                Try sugaring. It’s much gentler than wax and it is room temperature. It doesn’t snag as many of the little hairs as wax, but I LOVE it.

              • Brother Mouzone

                Try VEET.

        • Quirlygirly

          Confession: I tried it ONE time when I was younger and I learned the lesson fast. When the hair started growing back, I was scratching like a junk yard dog. After that- no razor touched my “panther”.

          • Pinks

            Before I knew better, I used the same razor (different blade) I’d use on my legs. That made me look like I was burning, so I tried Nair, Sally Hensen at home wax, everything. My eyebrow lady suggested a Brazilian and I’ve never looked back.

            • Oddly enough…I can Nair without issue. I mean…this doesn’t address hair in that most sensitive spot where the lips kiss…but umm…I’m not tryna do a baldy anyway.

          • miss t-lee

            I think we all made that mistake.
            That hair grow back is murderous.

            • Quirlygirly

              Yes it was-and I was in class and couldn’t scratch. I was just shifting around and moving all about. It was the WORST!!

        • Mika

          nah no deals. I just imagine the razor bumps I see men with and I am not about that life. I will just suck it up and chat with Shima, she tells me great stories about Ethiopia, where she is from.

      • PDL – Cape Girl

        Bumps and itching (when hair grows back) ain’t fun for everybody. IJS

      • Shaving doesn’t make it more hygienic. The hair is important for health!

    • I think it’s creepy too. I also wonder what kinda lingus they are doing where they are getting that much interaction with hair. Now, my experience with vag hair doesn’t extend past my own…but there is NO hair on the hot button…so I’m confused.

      • Val

        Lol Well, I’m just going to say that hair is in no way a problem in that regard. That’s just something people say or they really don’t know what they’re doing.

      • Girl, you ALREADY KNOW that some of these dudes MISS THE MARK COMPLETELY and couldn’t find it with binoculars.

        • LOL they don’t wanna admit it tho. They SWEAR they know how to do it…but stay on the lips and the mons…like…why is your mouth there? Just why?

          • “Accidental” kicks to the head for those jokers! hahahaha

            • brothaskeeper

              LoL @ “accidental”!

      • miss t-lee

        For real, the important parts aren’t covered with hair, so get in there.

      • Leigh

        Exactly. Because if you have that much interaction with hair you’re doing it wrong. It’s time to step up your game. They’ve been with “hairless girls” and not women.

      • brothaskeeper

        That type of lingus can’t be too cunning…

        • Quirlygirly

          ahhh- I see what you did there

        • Look at you…all punny :P lol

        • Brother Mouzone

          You go right to the head of the class with your pun work.

    • Pinks

      My Brazilian stay on point.

      • Val

        Ouch.

        • Pinks

          It doesn’t really hurt at this point. Me and Christina be chopping it up so most times I forget what’s going on until she says “turn over” lol

      • MsSula

        I am addicted to Brazilians for the way the chex feels afterward… Whoosah! *books appointment*

        • Pinks

          CHILE!

          They book my next appointment as soon as I’m done and I don’t even mind. They even know hubby in there as the big dread who always buys gift cards for his wife. I’m like bruh, it’s not a surprise anymore, lol. You can just buy me the package and we’ll leave it at that.

    • nillalatte

      Imma just throw this out there ’cause I’ve got to run, literally… Islam actually prescribes that women should groom ‘down there’ every 40 days. I found that as interesting as it also requires men to do that as well. So, there are millions of ‘creepy’ grown women out there who take care of ‘down there’ as a hygiene issue. :)

      • DebKII

        grooming doesnt mean naked mole rat…

        • Val

          Exactly. Grooming is very reasonable but in order to groom you need something to groom. You can’t groom bald.

        • miss t-lee

          Say it.

        • nillalatte

          LOL! Fair enough. Personal choices. lol

      • Asiyah

        I groom. I don’t do a full-blown wax because I like having something there, but I definitely groom and shave and keep it as short as I can. I’ve tried to keep the bush but find it too messy and I don’t like it.

      • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

        Yup. Dudes in the locker room used to also ask me why my under arms where trimmed. I was like…’so you can’t smell me from over there like I do you my dude..now back up.’

        • Asiyah

          That’s also a recommendation in Islam and I read that it was a sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (SAWW)

          • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

            It is. And its a a great one. Common sense.

    • It’s also somewhat equivalent with dudes and beards. Some look great with a beard and crazy bare. Some have that patchy a$$ hair down there that looks diseased. It varies.

    • Chiiiiile!! It speaks to the perversion of some men. A dude that likes that deserves a kick to the balls.. STRAIGHT UP! It isn’t even 12 year old girls…. it’s more like 7 and 8 year old girls…. I am so disgusted!

      • Pinks

        On the flip side, if I want a man with a hairless chest, am I also a pedophile?

        • Chest = vag? That’s literally comparing apples and oranges.

          • Pinks

            As ridiculous as insinuating a man is a pervert for preferring a shaved/waxed vagina.

            • -h.h.h.-
            • I didn’t say ridiculous.. I said the comparison was wrong.. The chest holds your ribs and lungs… your vag is a reproductive organ. Not really sure why that’s not understood pero oooooooook meng.

              • Pinks

                Just because a chest isn’t a reproductive organ doesn’t mean it can’t be a point of attraction/source of desire. Furthermore, FYI, pedophiles are usually attracted to more than just reproductive organs – it’s the innocence they desire.

                • *backs slowly away* oookkkkkkkaaaaaaaaayy.

                • L8Comer

                  lolol, I love this back and forth. I certainly don’t think it makes a man or anyone perv b/c they like a bald vag, that’s too far. I just can’t believe half my friends and people on here are actually pedophiles in thought or action. But it did make ME feel like a little girl the one time I did it.

                  Just to be devil’s advocate maybe it’s different than chest b/c man chest still (almost always) looks like man chest w/o hair. So does man d!ck, unless the D is real small and balls haven’t descended. And I can’t with a super small D either cuz it doesn’t look like a grown up’s to me. On the other hand, at least to me, my bare adult vag looks just like my bare little girl vag and that freaked me out the first and only time I shaved it bald.

                  Now, by the time I tried this I was already well versed on how pop culture schmexualizes young girls so that may be why? it may also be I hadn’t seen my vag look like that since I was 8? and then I was really concerned for her well being and everything I did (wiping, washing, panties..etc) I was hyperconscious about and very ginger with her. So it’s not for me. But I am curious to wax with the beads or sugar everyone is talking about just to see if it changes the chex. But, I’ll still leave a landing strip or something there lol

            • Quirlygirly

              But not all men grow chest hair. Most women I know grow pubs

              I don’t mind chest hair so to me if he has some ok if he don’t ok. But I guess that goes back to what medium meech said before. There are certain discussions that go on and you let people your preferences during those discussions.

              • Pinks

                And not all women grow pubic hair. Are they not grown women?

                • Quirlygirly

                  Presence or absence of pubic hair doesn’t make a person grown. But I also don’t think that men or women that like things bare down there are sexual deviants. I am not a fan of it but that is my personal preference. Different strokes for different folks and all..

                  • Pinks

                    “Presence or absence of pubic hair doesn’t make a person grown.”

                    Not according to these people here lol

            • Bridge Harrison

              I was DEFINITELY wondering how many people and how long we were going to keep co-signing a man liking the NaNa bald making him some sort of sexual deviant.

              Personally, hair on the legs, underarms, the snapper, or anywhere other than the head is just kinda manly to me.

              Now I don’t mean when a woman has skipped a shave for a week or two, but if she just letting it grow like it grow everywhere she might as well start rocking boxers and peeing standing up.

              • Associating body hair with men? oh ok…lol

              • miss t-lee

                “Personally, hair on the legs, underarms, the snapper, or anywhere other than the head is just kinda manly to me.”

              • Pinks

                OK you on your own with the hair being manly thing lol

              • Quirlygirly

                I was kinda with you on your first sentence. I don’t think if you like a bald jay jay that you are a sexual deviant. That is a bit strong.
                Next you started losing me when you said “snapper”. “Snapper” Sheesh!
                Then I had to leave you alone when you said a woman may as well pee standing up because she has hair on her body. Hair is a protection

            • Val

              That wasn’t what I was saying though. My point was really are we okay with the s@xualization of a 12 year old girl’s body as a trend?

              • Pinks

                But is it really a 12 year old’s body just because the jayjay is hairless? What about the full breasts, the wide hips? Shoot, at 12 I had mad hair on my cooch, as well as a whole lotta a s s and some mediocre tiddies.

        • miss t-lee

          This comparison doesn’t quite work though…lol

          • Pinks

            Chest hair and pubic hair are both indicators of puberty, so if that’s what we’re going by to cement one’s adulthood, it absolutely works.

            • miss t-lee

              Ehhh. Not in my mind.

        • Val
          • L8Comer

            I can’t stop looking at this. What is it?

            • Val

              Popcorn popping. Lol

              • L8Comer

                I swear I was eating popcorn around that time too lol! Too funny

        • Brother Mouzone

          Some men can’t grow chest hair even if they wanted to. Most women will grow some degree of hair on the vag at some point during puberty.

      • I dunno how yall’s dendrites are connected over there but uh…that’s CRAY.

    • SimplePseudonym

      Even fully hairless, my stuff down there doesn’t look the same as it did when I was 12. I like to switch it up, related to what I’m in the mood for and if any bikinis will be worn. I do notice that receiving oral tends to be better when I have less hair.

    • Leigh

      YESSSS! So it’s not just me. Something about that creeps me out also.

    • brothaskeeper

      I like my women on the hirsute side. Not Chewbacca, but not Amber Rose, a nice happy medium.

    • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

      Cosign. Give a brother a landing strip and I’m touch this jet clean on the runway every time. Five by Five my neegus.

    • Felina Femenina

      I see your point, but men who enjoy giving oral (such as my husband) prefer it when a woman is bald down there, because it gives easier access to the goodies, and he doesn’t get a floss or a mouthful of hairballs every time he tries to please her.

  • -h.h.h.-

    So…travel, huh?

  • Mika

    I just need you to know how spot on you are about this online profile business………I mean nothing you write matters if you have pretty pictures. NOTHING.

    Think I may take a peek in Zara tonight.

    • Cleojonz

      I have never seen a straight man shopping in Zara. This might have been better advice for Stephan than Stephanie.

      • Mika

        bwhahahah

      • Pinks

        They order online.

  • Aly

    You’re gonna get so many more messages now.

    • Agatha Guilluame

      Nope. I was only on there for 48 hrs, went back yesterday just to take some screenshots. That account is disabled.

      • Aly

        Well now you’ve disappointed a lot of men.

        • Lea Thrace

          Toddgatha 4 Eva!

  • Cleojonz

    Online dating can be a lot of fun. I met my husband that way. We’ll be married 12 years this August. The photos are definitely where it’s at. Have as many as you are comfortable with. It really does NOT matter what your profile says at all. They just come to browse the pretty pictures.

    • Quirlygirly

      Congrats to you and hubby- but it seems you guys got together at an optimal time before online dating went all Tinder and junk.

      • Cleojonz

        I guess it depends on sites you use. You’re clearly not getting relationship material out of Tinder. I am glad I don’t have to do it today though. I don’t envy none of y’all.

        • Mika

          I met an accomplished art thief off Match, so I am still wondering what I spent my $42.99 on. It could also be my geographical area……….

          • mr. steal your costco samples

            how you know he was accomplished? did you get a resume or something?

            • Mika

              Well, not really, he did eventually get caught……..but, homie lied about his age and couldn’t quite grasp some of the lingo and things I referenced and since I think everyone is a serial killer, I did some research. Found out his REAL last name, and headed over to google, and then the department of corrections website……. He did some time for stealing a Picasso……..

              • Cleojonz

                He got caught so…I don’t know about that accomplished business lol.

                • mr. steal your costco samples

                  yeah man. gotta excel at your profession. or be a simp at a good profession.

              • Ess Tee

                That fool thought he was Thomas Crown.

              • Val

                A Picasso? Am I wrong for thinking that’s kind of impressive? Lol Well, impressive as compared to being a purse snatcher.

                • ED

                  I’m definitely impressed.

          • Cleojonz

            That’s impressive. How does THAT come up in conversation?

            Mika: “What do you do for a living?”

            Match Date: “I just happen to be an accomplished art thief.”

            Mika: Side eye

            LOL

            • mr. steal your costco samples

              …then he pulls out that picture of Ben Carson and Jesus and I’m like YOU SAID YOU WERE AN *ART* THIEF NYUKKA

              • Cleojonz

                LOL LOL!!!! DEAD!

            • Mika

              It didn’t girl, LOL google is my friend. Might be $34.99 if you do 3 months or more, but of course paid in a lump sum. But yea, my results literally left me speechless.

          • Cleojonz

            That sounds hela expensive too? Is that monthly?

          • I refuse to get on Match or any paying site, because I live in a non metro area…I know the pickings are slim.

            • Mika

              Nah, it just doesn’t work for me. My cousin did it but her man moved from the Midwest for her. I thought it was me, but then realized its the area I am in cause anytime I switched my location on the site/app, I received messages from men of different caliber.

              • YES even when I travel for work it’s a whole different story. When I’m home…nothing but sorry profiles.

        • Kema

          My sister met her boyfriend on Tinder, Go figure

      • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

        For real..i got out before Tinder, thank god.

    • tgtaggie

      I basically had no luck with online dating….maybe I’m trying to hard.

      • Cleojonz

        Could be. You still have to treat it the way you would if you were meeting someone in person. You ask the same questions. There are sill the same red flags.

        It is different now though because there is more of a sense of immediacy thanks to texting. If somebody isn’t asking for a date immediately people freak out. We didn’t have that. You could cultivate multiple interactions for extended periods of time.

      • PDL – Cape Girl

        I bet you’re a nice decent brother. Stop putting yourself down. Just enjoy life and one off dates, until you find the right one.

        • miss t-lee

          This really is the best advice.

          • PDL – Cape Girl

            It is….just do you and your own thing. Don’t sweat what’s not happening.

            • miss t-lee

              Indeed.
              I think some folks treat each date too seriously. Just go and have fun, and see what happens.
              If it’s good, go from there, if it’s not–oh well, maybe the next will be better.

              • PDL – Cape Girl

                Upvote x 10

      • miss t-lee

        Even with online dating, it’s still a climb uphill at times.
        Keep at it though.

      • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

        I hear you my man. My advice would be to only use the online dating as a supplement to real life social circles, but definitely don’t give up on it. These things have a tendency to yield results when you aren’t paying that much attention.

        • tgtaggie

          I see what you’re saying. That’s kind of my approach now

    • MSNY

      Me too 11 years

    • Asiyah

      I’m not very photogenic, hence why I opted out of online dating

      • Ani-Q

        What?!?! What do you mean you are not very photogenic?!?! So are you wearing a paper bag over your head to opted out of everyday life?

        • Asiyah

          LOL in person I’m not THAT bad so no need for the paper bag but I have contemplated wearing a burka (no joke)

          • Ani-Q

            Lol….smh well then I guess you are happy with your eyes.

          • Val

            Some days I wish I could wear a niqab. Life would be much easier street harassment wise.

            • Asiyah

              LOL we need invisibility cloaks!

            • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

              My brother’s wife wear’s niqab and unfortunately it doesn’t always kill all the harassment, although it’s fairly effective. Still, shouldn’t be necessary. Sorry on behalf of men in general.

              • Asiyah

                My thoughts exactly. I’ve been hit on by non-Muslim men while wearing a hijab. It’s all about mystery. Nothing men like more.

    • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

      I kinda disagree, although maybe I have high standards. I met my wife on line and it mattered to me very much what she wrote. I’ve seen plenty of pretty pictures but what’s written certainly adds substance.

      • Cleojonz

        I’m talking about what people are looking for now. And with all their short attention spans they aren’t really paying attention.

        I don’t how long ago it was that you met your wife on line but the thing that drew me to my husband was that he would write nice long thought out responses. I hated to get a note from someone with just a couple words, a what’s up or whatever. Why bother to go back and forth with that?

        So I know where you are coming from, and I needed more and I got that. I don’t know if it’s as easy to have that kind of interaction now though.

  • TJ

    It really doesn’t matter what your online dating profile say, but I do like when someone actually alludes to what I wrote. That’s always a plus.

    I prefer to be bare or a sport low cut fade (This was the best way for me to describe it). That’s just me. HOWEVER, hair ain’t never stopped nobody I’ve come into contact with. Hair shouldn’t be a deterrent.

    I JUST learned how to play spades, so this renege question got me excited.

    • miss t-lee

      I’m laughing because I’ve said that “low fade” line too.

  • 1 – You really can say anything in the entire world on your dating profile…or nothing at all. The men will come.
    2- AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH The turn tho! Men are so unaware of their hairy situations -__-
    3 – This was better information than I could give. I just meet men online…like the unattractive hermit that I am
    4 – Do better. We’re far too old to be reneging!

    • TJ

      Men are so unaware of their body hair. Agreed!

      • Then they want you to deepthroat. I can’t focus with your hairs tickling my nose :(

        • Mika

          bwhahahahahah

      • In my experience, women want either bare or Chewbacca. And don’t you be one when you want the other. LOL

    • Quirlygirly

      We’re far too old to be reneging

      If you don’t get caught- it didn’t happen. LOL!

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