Ask A Very Smart Brotha: We Just Found Out He Has Newborn Twins, Should I Try To Work It Out?
Jazmine: I just found out that the person that Iâ€™ve been wanting to start a relationship with has NEWBORN TWINS! He claims that he didnâ€™t even know and that the female lied and said she was pregnant by someone else. He wants to have a sit down and air it all out but my past relationships leave me hard to trust/believe him. Should I give him the opportunity to plead his case? He claims he loves me just as much as I love him but Iâ€™m guarding my heart with an iron fist. Suggestions???
DY: Your manâ€™s name isnâ€™t Tom Brady, is it? Anyway, it is possible that he was unaware of this situation until recently. In fact, Iâ€™m going to give him the benefit of the doubt. Still, you both need to take a big step back from this relationshipâ€”him because he needs to figure out how to feed two mouths, and you because nothing about â€œmy new man has twin newborns by a different womanâ€ is hot in the streets.
I mean, if the roles were reversed and you were knocked up with twins and didnâ€™t know who the dad was, do you think he would stay?
Erica: I just got into a discussion about what marriage is suppose to mean and I want a guyâ€™s take on it. I say: Love is not unconditional and that everyone has dealbreakers in which they will leave a relationship or marriage. Including weight gain. Others say: If youâ€™re married, then the only dealbreaker should be donâ€™t cheat and donâ€™t abuse me.
What say you?
DY: I say the best relationships/marriages are when you find someone whose dealbreakers match yours.
Denise: At what age do men grow up ?
DY: The age we realize â€œcontinuing not to grow upâ€ means â€œdammit, the pool of women available to me will continue to shrink until I grow up.â€ Some of us make that transition, and some donâ€™t because their pool never shrinks and thereâ€™s no incentive to make the change.
Nicole: I am in school for my PhD., should settle for someone that does have the same education level that I have or do you think I should keep my options open. Last guy I was with worked in a grocery store and that didnâ€™t work.
DY: Keep your options open, and date whoever makes you happy. Just because someone might not have been the ideal in your head doesnâ€™t mean youâ€™re â€œsettling.â€ The only way you can settle is if you choose someone who doesnâ€™t make you happy. Also, just because you donâ€™t find someone else with a Ph.D doesnâ€™t mean you have to date supermarket stockboys. There are in betweens, you know?