Ask A Very Smart Brotha: I Cheated On Him Some Time Ago. Should I Tell Him?
***The Champ’s latest at Madame Noire includes questions and answers from his weekly Facebook chat***
Jasmine:Â What is the most reasonable time period in which a woman should receive a proposal from her boyfriend?
DY:Â I donâ€™t believe in an arbitrary set time for things like that. But, I will say if youâ€™re in your late 20s and above, just â€œdatingâ€ for longer than two years probably isnâ€™t the best look
Nita:Â Who comes first in your life, your wife or your mother?
DY:Â Wife. In my opinion, a wife comes before everyone else, including children
Cynthia:Â Why do todayâ€™s men want women to take care of them?
DY:Â Men, by in large, follow the path of least resistance. Basically, (some) men expect women to take care of them because (some) women are willing to do it.
Shahdae:Â Is it okay to date more than one guy at a time?!
DY:Â Of course! Dating is supposed to be when youâ€™re out meeting people and finding out what you like/donâ€™t like and need/donâ€™t need. How are you going to do that if you donâ€™t date multiple people?
Clarissa:Â If you cheat and know you made a mistake should you tell your man or take it to the grave?
DY:Â Honestly, it depends on when. If this happened some time ago and he’s unlikely to find outâ€”and you know it wonâ€™t happen againâ€”I think you should keep it to yourself. Although it seems “honorable,” letting a person know about something they’d never hear about otherwise—something that would definitely hurt them—would likely be more about you having a clear conscience and feeling better than anything else.
But, if this happened recently, you probably need to tell him because your sexual behavior has put him at risk. He needs to know that. Either way, your first step should be to get tested.