Lists, Pop Culture, Race & Politics

As Long As You Shut The F*ck Up, You Can Be As F*cked Up As You Want

You can feel like this, my n*gga, but you can't say that sh*t, my n*gga.

You can feel like this, my n*gga, but you can’t say that sh*t, my n*gga.

The recent “flap” over New Jersey governor Chris Christie’s “controversial” use over the word boy in a speech he was giving at a Black church just proves how words can be your undoing. Granted, Gov. Christie isn’t catching too much flack for it, but still, the story that he used the word “boy” towards an African-American man made the media rounds on Twitter which is like yelling fire in a crowded room – pretty soon the fire actually exists and Brick will have killed a guy.

And Lil Wayne will have died.

To be clear, I’ve watched the clip numerous times and there’s no way you can convince me he was calling the guy “boy”.

Anyway, I’m going to make a fairly significant leap here into something that I thought about whilst picking a dandelion the other day on a particularly warm March day:

As long as you don’t say anything particularly controversial, then you aren’t controversial.

And the crowd said, “duh”. So what do I mean? Glad you asked.

Let’s paint a scenario. If I’m a white man and I never ever date another person outside of my race, or don’t really interact with other people of other races, does that make me racist?

I don’t think so. I think it just makes you white in America. That’s totally possible. Hell, if you live in South Dakota that might be your entire existence. Forever. And that’s okay. Just because options exist doesn’t mean you have to take them…right? Everybody’s got their own prejudices and biases anyway. Hell I don’t like women with one gray eye and one grey eye. The vowel change really bothers me.

But the second you utter the words, “I don’t date people of other races.” Or even, “I really don’t date Black people” then, well, congratulations, you’re a racist. And not even the fun kind like, like the kind who can appreciate Black women hugging. So here’s my point, while you might be a racist at heart, you ain’t a racist until you say some racist sh*t. Which also translates into many other facets of life. Such as?

Glad you asked.

“I don’t really want to date a handicapped person.”

I’ve heard this with my own two ears. I got what the person was saying when they said it. Hell I understand it. But you just can’t saaaaaaaaaaaay that sh*t out loud. You just can’t. No amount of volunteer work at the Special Olympics or backtracking is going to make you sound like anything but a total douchebag. Which is probably unfair since I think most people tend to be about that status quo lifestyle. Status quo kind of implies “whole” person. But, again, if you say it, you just sound like a douche.

“Those people….”

There is almost never a good way to use the term “those people…” and it not turn off somebody listening to you. And why is this? Well because 174 percent of the time that the words “those people” are being used its in order to draw a distinction between yourself and whoever it is your speaking about. This group usually includes but is not limited to midgets, Black people, immigrants of color, Muslims, gypsys, circus performers, rappers (of all colors), Asians at top tier institutions or in the hood, Black people in Europe, any and all Afrians, etc. You get the point. Any group that can and has been maligned is usually who is being referenced in the “those people…”

However, it ALSO gets used in the other direction by liberals to include (but not limited to): Republicans, Tea Party activists, gun nuts, homophobes, heterophobes, phobes, White people that don’t live in urban areas, etc. You get the point.

Everyone’s a little bit racist.

“I’m glad slavery happened, otherwise we’d still be stuck in Africa.”

I’ve heard this said as well. And you know, amid this young man’s mis-informed and utter ridiculous statement, I knew what he was trying to say. It’s just stupid, inaccurate, and insanely dangerous. Which brings a point up that, silence is golden. If you ever have to say “I don’t know how to say what I’m trying to say” then you probably need not say it. Love 40. This statement was made in one of my classes at Morehouse. By a Black dude. And he got raked across the coals for it. Rightly. You just can’t say that on television.

Which reminds me of another statement I once heard in undergrad…

“We’re all judging, but if back in the day it was common for men to take and sleep with little boys, maybe it was just okay then.”

Again, I get what he was trying to say – don’t hate the player, hate the game – but there’s just no way to make some grand statements like that ever sound okay. Condoning child sexual abuse in a historical context is going to get you the side-eye like a motherf*cker. Trust me. And no, I didn’t say that, I side-eyed the sh*t out of the cat who said that.

For more direct examples of things you just can’t say out loud, revisit the #Steubenville conversations via Twitter the past few days.

So, good people of VSB, as language can ruin your life, what are some other examples of feelings you can have all the live long day, that you just can’t say out loud for fear of reprisal?

Reprise.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. I AIN’T SAY THAT SH*T aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

****BTW: If you purchased and received your VSB crewneck, could you take a pic for us and send it in to contact@verysmartbrothas.com.****

Filed Under:
Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • The Other Jerome

    Black women hugging, black women hugging……

    Thanks man, it’s going to take me like 3 days to get that song out of my head :-(

    • AfroPetite

      *presses play on the new Beyonce cult classic* That should clear that up for you :-)

      • The Other Jerome

        It’s cool. She should have let the “Bow Down B*tches” beat just play and riffed on Keri Hilson for the full 3 min though :-)

        • AfroPetite

          They should put that poor woman on suicide watch :-( I’m now inspired to purchase some subwoofers just so I can hear this song the way it’s meant to be heard.

          • Dreadlock smitten

            Can somebody please explain to me this Beyonce vs. Keri Hilson thing I see on here, like I’m so clueless. Like are they beefing, in competition, who’s winning? What’s happening really?

            • That Ugly Kid

              Like 4 years ago, Keri Hilson made a remix of her popular song “Turnin Me On”. Well this is her verse:

              “I ain’t tryin to start some mess
              There’s just somethin on my chest that I need to get off,
              Cause you turnin me off
              Your vision cloudy if you think that you’re the best
              You can dance she can sing but she need to move it to the left, to the left
              She need to go have some babies
              She needs to sit down, she fake
              Them other chicks ain’t even worth my time to talk about
              Been had dollars boy
              Go-on get your money up
              Know you’re ain’t the only homie on melined up
              I ain’t turnin it off
              I’m stay turnin it on
              Go-on and tell these folks how long I been writing your songs
              I been puttin you on, just check the credits ho
              And if you want me you can find me in the Decatur ho”

              It’s heavily implied that this verse was referring to Beyonce’. Ever since then, Keri Hilson has been getting attacked daily on Twitter. Guess she’s tired of it because she went on a rant about it a couple weeks ago.

              • mena

                That verse was tight though. She didn’t hold back. The first time i heard it i was like Keri went HARD.

            • That Ugly Kid

              Then there was also the time during an interview where Keri Hilson didn’t want to hold a magazine (for promotion purposes) because Beyonce’ was on the cover.

              • Dreadlock smitten

                awwww, I like Miss Keri Baby, actually used to be a fan, pre her humping door knob days. I’m guessing Bey stole all her songwriting credits-as she’s been known to do. Keri better come out swanging.

                • mena

                  I’m not a stan of B but just wanted to add that she doesn’t steal the songwriting credits per say. It’s just in the contract that she owns the songs.

                  • Dreadlock smitten

                    Girl, she is a thief nonetheless. Her making her thievary legal doesn’t take away the fact. She is a thief.

                    • mena

                      Mami, is that you? :-)

                    • Dreadlock smitten

                      heyyy girl!! :)

                    • http://dominicanabanana.wordpress.com Asiyah

                      Yeah, she’s a thief. Been called out on it a few times.

                    • Marshal

                      I think Dreamgirls was slightly a jab at her with the One Night Only chapter (i.e. Say My Name song that had LeTavia and LaToya’s vocals on it but Farrah and Michelle getting credit AND a Grammy off of it)

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          I agree with this. That first part goes so hard in the paint.

          • miss t-lee

            Yep.

        • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

          Thank you for bringing this song to my attention. I think I can jog to this (that means it does really hard).

      • mena

        That song is so arrogant. So condescending. So…great.

        • AfroPetite

          I think that’s why I enjoy it so much. It’s got an uncanny absence of fcuks to be given.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      It’s like the 4th greatest thing ever.

  • The Other Jerome

    I just had a situation like this earlier this week! My friend was describing a funny incident that happened to him at a “special needs” event when he uttered the phrase “Yo, retard strength is real bro!!!”

    I’m like “uhh, yeah, you can’t say that man”

    Poor choice of words there…..

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      Totally poor choice of words. LOL

  • Madame Zenobia

    “Scandal sucks.” “I don’t agree with gay marriage.” “Affirmative Action is bad.” “Beyonce sucks.” “I have no sympathy for Rihanna.” “I’m a Black Republican.”

    ***For the record, I don’t agree with any of the above statements.***

    Actually, I sorta agree with the Rihanna one. However, to the gay, AA & BR statements I actually find it a bit sad that these issues have become so polarized that we can’t have reasoned conversations about them. Just because you don’t support gay marriage doesn’t make you a homophobe. There are some with strong religious convictions on the issues. My understanding of Christianity is not superior to yours because I have come to a different conclusion.

    Being a Black Republican/conservative doesn’t make your “Black experience” less valid. Hearing all POVs of what it means to be Black in America could help all of us move forward and progress. My understanding of Blackness is not superior to yours because I support the Democratic Party.

    Questioning the merits or application of Affirmative Action doesn’t make you a racist. Sometimes it’s good to evaluate policy and decide if it is working in a beneficial manner. If AA as presently constituted is sentencing us to being quota fillers as opposed to wanted students and employees how can we fix that?

    A lack of honest, open discussion is crippling our communities and nation. It really is quite sad.

    Last point: I read Christie’s comments the day of the incident and I’m with you. There’s no chance in Dick Cheney’s hell that man called someone boy. Replace the word boy with “gee” or “yeah” or “wow” or “uhhhhhh” and the sentence flows fine and there is no controversy. This is a classic case of making a mountain out of a mole hill.

    • Madame Zenobia

      My comment went into moderation at 11:30, let’s see how long it takes to get approved. :)

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        A really long time. B/c we have to personally moderate them, if I’m sleep. It’s going to take at least until 6AM EST to happen.

    • camilleblue

      +1000

    • Malik

      If you erased Affirmative Action the only people who would be hurt are white women.

      • Madame Zenobia

        What’s sad is so many people (Black & White) don’t realize that.

    • SweetSass

      You can’t have a reasoned discussion about an unreasonable prejudice. No amount of reason will combat people’s stubbornness on the issue of gay rights. If they want to be superstitious and cherry pick excerpts from the Bible to justify their homophobia, what can you really do but hope they die off one day…

      • Wild Cougar

        You actually can have a reasonable argument about it, however, in my experience, the pro gay people will call any argument against gay marriage homophobic, bigoted, hypocritical, etc… Then its impossible to discuss because shots have been taken.

        • http://dominicanabanana.wordpress.com Asiyah

          I see WC’s POV.

        • SweetSass

          Nope. You cannot use reason in a debate that is based on unreasonable prejudice. It’s just not going to work.

          Appeals to empathy, maybe.

          There is no reasoned or objective arguments against gay marriage. They are all based on faulty premise of superstition and religious prejudice.

          • Wild Cougar

            Second argument is that marriage is licensed by government in order to promote the production and welfare of children as future taxpayers. Otherwise the government would not get involved.

            • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

              Interesting. Never heard that angle WC. Makes sense tho (gets popcorn ready and waits for SweetSass’s rebuttal)

            • au napptural

              WC, as to the gov’t having to promote families with that can produce children, I agree. Maybe it’s b/c Americans are so insulated, but I never any complaints about countries like Russia and Italy with negative white/indigenous population growth giving incentives and PAYING women to have white babies. You know to combat all those colored babies the immigrants have. I expect to hear policy being implemented in the US any day. The gov’t of any given white industrialized nation (or white-ruled) wants the demographics of power to stay the same. Translated: whites on top.

              Aside- I hate when people say infertile couples or old people can’t have children either. They can’t have children any more. Ther’s a difference. But unless you were born with a fertility issue or had some fell disease, there was a period of time where you could’ve produced with an opposite sex human. No matter how healthy or fertile a gay person is he/she can’t reproduce with another gay person. #fact

              • au napptural

                correction: I never hear any complaints about countries like Russia and Italy…

            • SweetSass

              Nope. Government does not have a compelling interest in regulating people’s offspring.

              1.) Gay people can have kids. Both biologically and through adoption.

              2.) You have the right to be a straight person and marry and choose not to have kids. Marraige =/= kids.

              3.) It is BECAUSE the government gives the marriage certificate that PRECISELY they should not discriminate based on Judeo-Christian values. The Constitution is secular.

              • au napptural

                1.) I was talking about having children, sans outside methods and people, with your spouse. We all agree that’s impossible for gay people. The marriage vows do say, after all, you will be forsaking all others. If we took that literally, there is no biological way to have a child not with your spouse. And IVF, etc. doesn’t count.

                2.That’s fine, no one said it wasn’t. But the gov’t is working with the assumption most people are marrying to legitimize and have families that do include children.That’s the point of tax breaks and write-offs. The gov’t is rewarding you for ensuring its survival. And also for doing things the “right” way. Think about it. With single parents households, the gov’t LOSES money in a myriad of ways. So you don’t get the married people refund. But married people sans kids aren’t doing what the gov’t wants either so they lose out on the dependents write-off. What are gay ppl bringing to the table? Why would the gov’t want to give them money? You have to think like the gov’t. Personally, I wouldn’t be surprised to find out the gov’t automatically gave more money to whites with children. That’s what they favor and want to encourage.

                3. They aren’t Judeo-Christian values though. They’re society-wants-to-stay- alive values. Even in ancient Greece where homosexuality was feted, marriage was still man/woman exclusively. For the continuation of society. And I would say that was in a time of extreme woman-hatred. Woman were only seen as vaginas through which more male children could come.

          • annette_b

            @SweetSass:
            Have to make an observation: What you refer to as unreasonable prejudice may be quite reasonable to someone who holds that view. Same thing with your claim as to there not being any reasoned or objective arguments against gay marriage. Just because you don’t agree with and / or accept the reasons given or the principles by which they were formed, doesn’t mean they are unreasonable.

      • Wild Cougar

        You’re reasonable person so here is my argument. Personally, I don’t care, but on a religious angle it makes sense tosingle out gay marriage.among sins. Other sins you commit and regret, repent, promise to stop. When you get married to your gay partner, you are saying fcuk God, the Bible and the church, I’m gonna keep doing it, make it my lifestyle and ask for public sanction. I have no intention of stopping it or asking for forgiveness. That makes it different and a religious person would have good reason to say you’re going to hell for “mocking God” until you renounce the sin and change.

        • Marshal

          Okay, but how many people out here are having Premarital Sex (with and/or without Contraceptives, wich the Catholic Church is staunchly Against) and have Kids out of wedlock, as well as Never Marrying the Mother/Father of their Child(ren)- is that not saying Screw God as well???

          • Madame Zenobia

            Yes, it is. And there are plenty of churches that rail against premarital sex & pregnancy as hard as they go at homosexuality. Does that make them heterophobes? In high school I knew a chick whose parents found condoms in her room and asked if she was engaging in premarital sex. She answered honestly, “Yes.” That Sunday she had to go in front of her church, publicly admit her sin and apologize to the church for it. It was horrible for her.

            I use this story only to illustrate that there are still plenty of churches out there who are extremely strict when it comes to sexuality and religion. Some people need an open, honest conversation with someone who is willing to have it with them and not get caught in in: “Well, the Bible says this too and this and this and you don’t follow that do you?”

        • au napptural

          I can feel that WC. But what I hate is the notion you every have to have a reasonable reason for your dislike of something. Guess what? I’m black and some people hate that. These people, according to the Constitution, have every right to make songs, dances, speeches, and Harlem Shake videos to that effect. And I can say, “as long as it doesn’t affect my life”, but it does affect my life. The people who hate me have most of the power when it comes to hiring/firing, housing, education, etc. And I want everyone who is being discriminated against to pay attention, b/c this is what you do…DEAL WITH IT.

          God, I get tired of hearing gay people whine, esp. white ones. If everyone who has ever been discriminated against in this country, including the people it actually belonged to, knows discrimination is something you have to navigate on a daily basis, something you have to plan for, something that isn’t eradicated in a day, what makes you so g%*&%$&*%$ special?! Guess what? If tomorrow, gay marriage was passed as a federal law, and gay people became a protected group, the day after tomorrow people would still be getting fired for being gay, still have judges and clergy refusing to marry them, still not get certain housing, still have problems. B/c that’s life. Black people still have all the issues above, are still catching flack, being profiled, shot at, everythang. And that’s considered life as usual. Legal protection is fine and well, but doesn’t prevent social issues. I swear, some of these POC done caught that white privileged attitude. Yes, in a perfect world you could do you and no one would care. But it’s not a perfect world, something a hard apprenticeship as a black person should have already taught you. I just never get why gay black people seem to understand racism just fine, but their brains fuzzy when it comes to other stuff. You were born black and some people don’t like that either. Same concept.

          • au napptural

            There’s prob. going to be backlash, but if peole can find kernels of truth in what Obsidian says, surely someone ought to be able to take something from that.

            • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

              Nah, you’re making sense Au nap. I don’t think that should stop them from fighting for the right to be allowed to marry though. As far as complaining about lack of acceptance and discrimination though, I’m all the way with you. That’s life. Everybody gets discriminated against. Gotta work ur way around it and show love and respect to the people who don’t discriminate against you. That’s my approach in life at least.

          • Brother Mouzone

            + a trillion

            • Brother Mouzone

              au napptural’s comment gets the Oscar for most truth in a post.

          • Shalonda282

            Legal protection isn’t about getting everyone to change their mind. It’s about changing social consciousness, the overall view we share as a nation. The civil rights movement wasn’t so that black people would never struggle or never face obstacles. It was to give blacks a chance ( an opportunity not a guaranty). Most blacks back then knew that legal protection merely cracked the door open to a better life. The hope was that their children and their children’s children would have a better standard of living as America’s overall view on racial segregation evolved. It’s ironic that back then a lot of southern whites had very similar arguments about Blacks complaining about segregation. I mean they were getting an a education, and most where going to CHOOSE to work in the service industry. Did they truly need a great education to clean floors and wash clothes. Legal protection was a stepping stone for black Americans, just as it will be for gay Americans. It will shift the focus from right or wrong to basic human liberties. Two consenting adults should be able to love how they want, without interference from others. You have the right to feel however you want. We can agree that backlash comes when you try to force your feelings and views on to others. If you don’t like gay marriage, don’t marry someone of the same sex.

        • That Ugly Kid

          I’m gonna keep doing it, make it my lifestyle

          Except being gay/bi/lesbian is not a choice. It’s not some lifestyle they can partake in and then stop after they’ve had their fun and want to settle down now.

          I have no intention of stopping it

          Probably because they can’t. You know, because they have no choice in the matter. Just like you didn’t choose to be sexually attracted to men. You just are.

          Though, it does baffle me that despite the enormous amounts ridiculous stories the Bible has, the number of times parts of the Bible have been proven to be extremely improbable or just downright false, people still use it as a blueprint of how we should live our lives. Baffling…

          • That Ugly Kid

            amounts of*

          • Wild Cougar

            The choice is to engage in the act of gay relations and to marry. Just like fornication. The choice is to engage, not the desire

        • Chocolatte

          Cosign!!!

      • Madame Zenobia

        “If they want to be superstitious and cherry pick excerpts from the Bible to justify their homophobia” is the thing that irritates me about this debate and why I included gay marriage in my original post of things you aren’t supposed to say out loud. Disagreeing with gay marriage doesn’t automatically make you a homophobe. I support gay marriage as a civil rights issue. However, I do understand that marriage in our society has largely been considered a religious ritual. This particular religious ritual has secular benefits (health care, life insurance, tax credit, etc.) because of those benefits it is (IMO) wrong to deny gays the opportunity to marry and have access to those benefits. HOWEVER, I understand where a person comes from if they have a discomfort with calling it “marriage” preferring the term “civil unions” or the like because “marriage” in our society does come from a Judeo-Christian connotation. That connotation does denote “a man and a woman.” When you view marriage with a religious emphasis it would be comparable to changing how Bar Mitzvahs are conducted.

        Do I agree with the argument? Not necessarily. And there are many more religious arguments I am willing to discuss with people and have a reasoned discourse with them without branding them a close minded, bigot, homophobe before finding out where their concerns with the issue lie. When you dismiss someone so quickly as unreasonable you deprive yourself and them of an opportunity to learn and grow. Some people are homophobic or bigoted, some people don’t have exposure or good information, some people have been taught something their entire lives and it’s difficult for them to see things from a different perspective but not allowing them to voice their thoughts without fear of reprisal and hoping they all die off does little for anyone.

    • GypsyCurl

      “Scandal sucks.”

      Blasphemy!!! You take that back! Rude *In my Anjeelah Johnson voice*

    • Chocolatte

      Just because you don’t support gay marriage doesn’t make you a homophobe. There are some with strong religious convictions on the issues. My understanding of Christianity is not superior to yours because I have come to a different conclusion.

      Amen sister, AAAAAAMEN!! I’m not playing the “go along just to get along” game.

  • Negro Libre

    He should be forced to take sensitivity training classes.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbC6pgoUJ_A

  • IcePrincess3

    Like, when I see a fat person eating fast food or drinking some brightly colored, HFCS-laden concoction, it’s a turn off. Now you kno you don’t need that lmao. Or if someone’s baby is ugly. I mean, what are you gonna do? I even have a somewhat racist one: when you call a customer service number, & the call center be in India or wherever. Like, I can’t stand their accent. There, I said it. Sorry.

    • Madame Zenobia

      “Hey girl, your baby is sooo….a baby! Congrats!!!!” **runs away quickly**

    • AfroPetite

      I will not join in on this discuss of unattractive children as I have yet to have a child of my own. I don’t want no problems, problems…..

      • AfroPetite

        discussion***

        Where the hail did that edit/delete button go?!!!

      • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

        I will not join in on this discuss of unattractive children as I have yet to have a child of my own.

        So all up and down I-10 from Texas to Mississippi they have all these anti-abortion billboards with “Mom, do I deserve to die?” on them. Problem – they pick the UGLIEST babies for those billboards. I honestly saw one like, ‘well, let’s just say if you found your way under a pillow I ain’t helping you.’

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          See this is also a perfect example of what you just can’t say. Good job IAYP. Well done.

          • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

            +1

            • LMNOP

              +8000

        • GypsyCurl

          I am not afraid to call an ugly baby ugly. All babies are not cute.

          Side note: Facebook is the worst for people lying about other people’s children. I have a friend who’s baby was born with a terrible cleft lip and she posted a picture. Lo and behold, people started leaving comments on how cute was the baby. I think lying is just as mean as telling the truth.

          • AfroPetite

            I just say “Congratulations” and keep it moving

            • GypsyCurl

              Congratulations! I think that is best. You can’t go wrong with that (unless you are not happy that the person had a baby).

            • Chocolatte

              Or, “aaaaahhh, how precious” I found this to be the safest place with ug-mo babies.

          • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

            “I think lying is just as mean as telling the truth.”

            Golden. That just might be the gem of the day. Succint and powerful. Well played Gypsy woman, well played

    • http://GenevaGirl.net Geneva Girl

      When the baby is goofy looking you say:

      Isn’t she special?!?
      She looks just like her daddy/mommy!!!
      She’s so precious!
      What a bundle of joy!
      She’s a gift from God.
      How adorable!
      What a sweet, quiet baby she is!
      Look at those eyes!
      She looks so intelligent!

      See, I did not once say that goofy baby is pretty or beautiful. Just make the parents feel like their baby is special because no matter how goofy that baby may lok, that baby is indeed special to her parents.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        I’ve found that if you just say, “look at God” it covers every possible scenario.

        • GypsyCurl

          LMAO! Can we make this the comment of the month?!?

        • Chocolatte

          LOLOLOLOL….just hollered

      • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

        “She looks so intelligent!”

        ROTFL
        I also try my best not to give disingenuous compliments but I promise if I ever hear somebody say a baby “looks intelligent” I will fall out.

        • camilleblue

          girl…i just say “awwww”…

  • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

    You remember right after the tsunami in Japan, some white girl at UCLA posted that ‘hordes of Asians’ video about Asian students invading/taking over UCLA? Listen, you can think that all you want. But to say it out loud, ON YOUTUBE, no, I don’t feel sorry for her raggedy azz having to drop out of school because of the fallout…specifically since she was a blonde with big boobs who could have parlayed that into a FoxNews job if she was thinking.

    *opens up a racist consulting firm*

    • AfroPetite

      The backlash she received was so epic lol Cultural insensitivity is something a large number of Americans suffer from.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      Some people need that though.

      Speaking of racist consulting firms, I have long wanted to hold racism workshops. Just put it all on blast and make EVERYBODY uncomforable. So we can all heal.

      • Marshal

        I guess that’s what the CPAC Black Guy was TRYING to do, only he joined the Other Racists in the event in slandering Fredrick Douglass and the Lone Liberal Black Woman in the crowd.

        And people wonder WHY Black Folk call Allen West, Herman Cain, Clarence Thomas, and now Ben Carson Uncle Toms, or now Uncle Ruckus Disciples

      • GypsyCurl

        I know a white lady, who married a black man, that actually has a racial sensitivity training company. She goes to businesses and teaches them how to be racailly sensitive.

  • OS

    FUNNY!!! I think some of things you just have to avoid saying all together are 1) a natural hairstyle is not attractive…this will get you hit with all kind of self-hate accusations 2) a fat woman is well…fat. Fat women can talk about skinny/slim women, call them all kinds of names, but if you call a fat woman fat, you have just committed a social decorum crime, 3)a baby is ugly–calling someone’s baby ugly will result in a series of insults mostly revolving around how sick and twisted of a person you are for calling a child of God anything other than beautiful, 4) if you have light skin, you must dare not call a person with dark skin any names relating to their skin tone. They are however allowed to call you light bright, high yella, powder, etc., but you will be thrown to the virtual hell fire for even daring to make color insults to a person with dark skin, and 5) a man or men you were with before your current man was better, sexually. Saying this will ultimately cause your relationship to go into “permanent” purgatory.

    • Latonya

      6) I’m Atheist
      I notice that if you say that people want to throw a stone and Bible at you!LOL

      • OS

        yep, pretty much!

      • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

        Well, there’s a difference between stating your beliefs and being a d1ck about it. I’m looking at you PETA

    • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

      “5) a man or men you were with before your current man was better, sexually.”

      And this is why I never ask. I know I could handle the truth better if it’s not said. Unless the chick volunteers this information it’s implied that you’re not the best she’s ever had. Even if she tells you that you’re her best, believe half of what you see, none of what you hear.

      I imagine it’s similar to how chicks will never really know how good their man thinks they look in relation to (his) other women.

      Please don’t be a masochist douchebag and ask these types of questions people

      • IcePrincess3

        Exactly! I tell every new bf he’s “the best.” I don’t mind ego stroking; I know how vital it is to a man. But it’s all bullsh*t. But yea, I thought everyone ran that game each other. *shrug*

        • LMNOP

          but they might really all be the best in their own way. Kind of like how you might be able to think of a prize that starts with “best” for every kid in a preschool costume contest. Best backwards costume, best unidentifiable costume, etc…

          • IcePrincess3

            True, lol! Biggest d*ck, Best backstroke, Most likely to make you c*m, Best overall, the list goes on & on…

            • LMNOP

              Best person I’m having sex with at this very moment.

              See, everyone can be the best and it’s not lying, it’s just generous honesty.

      • OS

        I would NEVER volunteer this info. PEACEKEEPER here.

        • Think2Inspire

          +1

      • The Other Jerome

        “I imagine it’s similar to how chicks will never really know how good their man thinks they look in relation to (his) other women.”

        Woah lawd my stupid @ss once did tell my ex, who was just a friend, that very thing in relation to a woman i was “currently” seeing at the time. She just kept bugging me about it so i finally told her (i was younger then) HUGE mistake! We weren’t cool for quite some time after that.

      • That Ugly Kid

        Unless the chick volunteers this information it’s implied that you’re not the best she’s ever had.

        Then you need to step your game up, homie. Because unless she says otherwise, it is implied, tested, and confirmed that I AM the best she’s ever had.

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          oh my gawd i love those statements TUK

          • That Ugly Kid

            ;-)

        • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

          U know? While I was typing that comment, I thought to myself “d@mn, I already know TUK’s bout to make a slick wisecrack about how this doesn’t apply to him, so maybe I should phrase it differently.” Then I was like “nah f*ck it, Imma toss him the alley oop” ..not gonna lie though, I was expecting you to throw it down with a lil more enthusiasm (and that ain’t what she said btw) lol

          • That Ugly Kid

            Nah because it wasn’t that big of a deal. I’m just confident in matters such as these.

      • nillalatte

        TQ.. you know you tha best baby. Ain’t nobody up in hurr ever done it like you and me. ;) Sagey almost had his ice cream with cake… cake.. cake… but, lmao…

        • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

          Mmmmhmm, you’ll tell me anything. U lucky I don’t even know what the rest of that comment means lol

    • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

      1) a natural hairstyle is not attractive…this will get you hit with all kind of self-hate accusations

      So how bout Derek J has the nerve to talk about ‘natural hair isn’t for everyone’ when he looks like a stalagmite in Daisy Dukes? No.

      • IcePrincess3

        Omg you saw Fashion Queens last nite? Hilarious! Then Lawrence was sittin up there lookin like snuffalupagus chile. Mm mm mm.

        • au napptural

          I always thought people were exaggerating when they talked about spitting or their computer screens b/c of VSB.

          You almost made me spit on my computer screen (I moved at the last second). Now I shall follow you from place to place in hopes of another moment like this, like a groupie, but sans the rachet.

        • Chocolatte

          LMBO….LOLOLOLOL…and just plain ole nasty looking :shock: Can I say that?

      • K. Marie

        You have officially slayed me on this Monday morning. I shall now be your official stan.

      • AfroPetite

        I threw my shea butter at the screen when he said that. Fugg you and your oily cake face Derek J!

      • OS

        Derek J is the epitome of what not to wear, what not to say, what not to do, and what not to be. UGH!!

        • Chocolatte

          Cosign

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      Can’t lie, regarding the natural hair thing, I’m almost amazed at the total beast of a decade natural hair is having. So much so that if you say you don’t like it you are labeled as a self-hating mothersucker.

      Natural hair is having the best.2000s.ever.

      • OS

        Yeah, there is like a REAL LIFE natural hair mafia. They will hunt you down and tear you to shreds for talking shady about natural hair, particularly if you’re a Black man. LOL

    • GypsyCurl

      “2) a fat woman is well…fat. Fat women can talk about skinny/slim women, call them all kinds of names, but if you call a fat woman fat, you have just committed a social decorum crime”

      There was a girl that was approached by a fat woman. The fat woman said “Girl you are sooo skinny.” The skinny girl replied “Girl you are soooo fate.” Let’s just say the fat woman didn’t like the response. #doublestandards

      • OS

        AHAHAHA…WHY WHY WHY, am I never there for these kinds of moments? I wish I could have seen the look on her face when the skinny woman replied!

      • au napptural

        Yes! This one time at b̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶c̶a̶m̶p̶
        church, this great big fat woman (trust me I had to use all those words to convey the enormity) says to a tiny woman who had been sick, how sickly and skinny she looked. She responded “good, cuz I never wanted to be big and fat like you.” #targetdemolished

    • Malik

      No need for comparisons when you bring something original to the bedroom.

  • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

    Great post P. This is something I contemplate a lot, and I’m a lil salty u beat me to it truth be told, but I can’t hate, I’d rather congratulate. Anywho, this one line stood out to me.

    “Which is probably unfair since I think most people tend to be about that status quo lifestyle. ”

    That resonated with me the most, because we’ve all been on both sides of the destructive and intense power that the status quo has and we’re all sooooo offended by it when it actually hits close to home and we see firsthand how f*cked up it is.

    “what are some other examples of feelings you can have all the live long day, that you just can’t say out loud for fear of reprisal?”

    “She’s not attractive enough to have that attitude.” (most of the fellas in here feel me on that one)

    True story time. My sister’s friend was at a grocery store somewhere in NYC and was only half paying attention to her surroundings (I guess she was reading something) as she got in the check out line and unintentionally skipped this older Jamaican lady. The lady takes offense and IMMEDIATELY yells out “Yuh too BIG and UGLY to be doin dat” and starts goin off about her cutting in line. As shocked and offended as I would be if I were the chick she told this too, I can’t help but be wondering “Soooo, if I was pretty and petite you would just bow and let me pass?” Think about how interesting this place would be if nobody had a filter? lol

    • nillalatte

      :) I filter pretty good for an “I don’t give a damn” person. But, get me angry… annnnndddd… all bets to being politically correct and shyt are off.

    • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

      ~ Think about how interesting this place would be if nobody had a filter?

      i was thinking a filter-free world would be exponentially more violent. not just physically violent, but psychologically so because i’ve never believed the cliche, “actions speak louder than words.” i believe words are a form of action, and one that has strange and lasting powers that move across generations.

      i regularly filter out words that could make another person feel pain, humiliation, or shame. i do this because inflicting pain does not promote healing, either my own or anyone else’s. i am all too aware of how many walking wounded are out there.

      • http://dominicanabanana.wordpress.com Asiyah

        I agree.

      • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

        I agree with you 100% esa. We developed filters for a reason. I’m the same way. I know that words matter as much as actions and I was taught from a very young age how to be respectful of people. It’s why I rarely get into altercations and can talk my way out of most anger people start to feel towards me. (Ask my ex ;) lol

    • rooseveltdunn

      “She’s not attractive enough to have that attitude.” this should be on a billboard somewhere

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      Many moons ago, in like March 2009, I wrote a post that alluded to that and it reduced the number of people who visited VSB and got me labeled with all types of f*ckery. LOL. Back in the day, i was the one who used to piss everybody off, not Champ. And it started with that post.

    • That Ugly Kid

      “She’s not attractive enough to have that attitude.”

      I stand by this statement. If you’re ugly, you do NOT get to have a stank attitude. Don’t get me wrong, a stank attitude is never attractive. But if someone like Miracle Watts had one, you’d at least be able to understand WHY she has one. Because she’s gorgeous. But if you look like Flava Flav’s belly button lent…b*tch…you got ALOT of nerve walking around here cocky like you’re the one who discovered electricity.

      • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

        Nods head @ TUK. Lol @ Flava Flav’s belly button lent.

        Panama what was the name of that post? I’m gonna go back and read it. I’m sure the comments will be as funny as the post to me lol

      • OS

        Wait, wait, wait a minute! How does being beautiful give someone a pass to have a stank attitude? I don’t understand the correlation at all. Please explain.

        • That Ugly Kid

          I never said it gives them a pass. I said I understand why they’d most likely have such an attitude. Because people are generally nicer, and willing to do more, for beautiful folks. Which in turn breeds a sense of entitlement. So, like I said, I understand where the attitude comes from. But, as I also said above, having a stank attitude is NEVER attractive.

          • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

            +1 Well said TUK

          • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

            hmmm .. i am not sure that generosity breeds entitlement, tho perhaps for some it does.

            i used to act entitled as my way to aggressively assert what i felt i was owed for all i had suffered. i have seen that same strain of entitlement in other survivors of abuse.

            i’ll throw in that for myself, the hyper focus on beauty as a source of power can take on a pathological scope. i was obsessed in creating this flawless exterior behind which i could hide.

            ahh but the beautiful and achy irony is that i am slowly realizing the only person i ever fooled was myself ~*~

            • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

              “i’ll throw in that for myself, the hyper focus on beauty as a source of power can take on a pathological scope.”

              U know, that’s a good point. We do tend to assume a pretty chick that acts stank does so directly or indirectly because her beauty got her all kinds of privilege so she’s spoiled and entitled, but that’s often times not the case. I guess it’s like the “short man complex” armchair psychology people always jump to when a short dude is fiery or passionate by nature. Why must his whole being be tied to his height? It’s a common mistake to let our shallowness cloud our better judgement though. Good point Esa

              • OS

                “We do tend to assume a pretty chick that acts stank does so directly or indirectly because her beauty got her all kinds of privilege so she’s spoiled and entitled, but that’s often times not the case.” —Wholeheartedly agree!

            • That Ugly Kid

              Well, if that generosity has occured BECAUSE the person is beautiful, then more likely than not, it will breed entitlement. Let me clarify, I’m not saying generosity in general will do this, but if you’re offering/doing things for someone because of their beauty, they recognize it and may start to take advantage of it in the future.

              For example, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen men pull up to a pretty chick, complete stranger mind you, at a bus stop and offer her a ride. Simply because she’s pretty. Meanwhile the average/ugly girls standing next to her get no such gesture. This is the type of “generosity” I’m talking about.

              • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

                yes, i agree. by no means is my experience universal. there are many paths to the same stank.

                i feel for people who take kindness for weakness. it’s borderline behavior at best, sociopathic at worst, and all-too-condoned by society’s “get yours” attitude.

                but, yo, i do not like strange men in cars stopping the ride. i always get flashes of “this is how women disappear” vibes.

          • OS

            . Learn something new everyday. I didn’t realize being nice to beautiful people breeds entitlement. And yes, I agree, a stank attitude is never attractive. LOL…thanks for the reply

      • http://dominicanabanana.wordpress.com Asiyah

        Actually, if you’re ugly, shouldn’t you have a stank attitude? People sh*tting on you all day, having to look in the mirror to see an ugly face staring back at you, people dogging you to your face and/or behind your back. That can’t possibly lead to a sunny disposition. If you’re pretty you should be really nice. No room for a stank personality.

        • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

          “Actually, if you’re ugly, shouldn’t you have a stank attitude? ”

          I wouldn’t say you SHOULD, but realistically you’re right, you probably will. So I guess it should be understandable too. I think the problem is when you’re aggressively stank. I get why you’d be defensive, but why go on the offensive? That’s making your situation worse…I get it though, it takes a lot of effort and strength to overcome the cruel forces of nature, especially when other human beings and their perception is involved smh

          • http://dominicanabanana.wordpress.com Asiyah

            You’re right, should implies an obligation. I mean you will, or that you get more of a pass.

          • OS

            makes sense to me…

          • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

            ~ I get why you’d be defensive, but why go on the offensive?

            man, i feel like an expert on this. yea. so in my experience, going hard means you’re willing to play the numbers to get your way. by that i mean, a lot of people will submit to the more dominant personality, whether it is fear of confrontation or simply conditioned to do so.

            aggression tends to get results, both good and bad, and the fact is when someone is stank there can be a psychological need to reinforce the paradigm whenever the opportunity presents itself.

            ** mind you, stank people dont know that they smell. they are very good at shifting blame on to others for failures they cause.

            • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

              “a lot of people will submit to the more dominant personality, whether it is fear of confrontation or simply conditioned to do so.”

              I’m starting to learn how to take advantage of this. Very true though.

              “mind you, stank people dont know that they smell. they are very good at shifting blame on to others for failures they cause.”

              Great point. That’s tough for me to grasp because I’m self aware almost to a fault, but you’re right. Most people can convince themselves that someone else is to blame.

        • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

          i’ve seen this and felt this before. i call it “ugly girl syndrome” and it is REAL.

      • Sweet GA Brown

        “If ya ugly inside ya ugly outside.”

        • That Ugly Kid

          Naw f*ck that because some of those chicks that be on the Bad Girls Club are fine as f*ck. Like Cat Washington. I’d scramble her guts all day.

      • Dreadlock smitten

        *collapses @ the mention of Flava Flav’s belly button. I’m done!!

  • Madame Zenobia

    I have a serious comment in moderation right now, but I thought of another one: you can’t talk about a family members attractiveness or sexiness in an interested manner. I once heard a guy talking about his cousin in an explicit, graphic, detailed manner and yeah….not cool. Eeeew, it’s gross just remembering. I don’t think it’s OK to have those thoughts and you DEFINITELY shouldn’t say them out loud if you do have them.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      I mean….lol. Yeah.

    • Kema

      “you can’t talk about a family members attractiveness or sexiness in an interested manner”

      Oh you mean like Joe Simpson? lol!

      “http://www.contactmusic.com/news-article/father-praises-jessica-simpson.s-breasts”

      • Madame Zenobia

        Eeeeeeew, yes! Grooooooosssss!

  • Marshal

    between the CPAC conference, spending time with my Brothers and Daughter and the Stubenville case, my Spring Break was a wild one….

    I know some of the Stubenville football players as they played my younger brother earlier this year, and let me tell you- Them mofos down there are the High School Version of Penn State, just not as big and not on the pedophile level. The sum of all of that is tons of Underage Kids partying without Adult Supervision, doing Stupid and Crazy, Wreckless Shyte while Drunk, and then it turned Ugly- Quickly and Hard. The lines between Consent and Rape ended up very blury and add Technology and Social Media to the mix and Everyone/Anyone can be labeled or called a Rapist, as well as Anyone/Everyone who Tweets, FB Updates, Instagrams, and Texts content are Accessories, Period. The Boys DESERVED their Guilty Verdicts and their sentences, and what happened to the Victim was Terrible, but Nonetheless, Every. Single. Teen. in that damn town (including the Victim and Convicted) were Dumb, Underage, and CHOSE to partake in Illegal and Poor Decisions. That Cannot be Debated. Families are broken and that Town got a wkeup call that was Sorely Needed.

    As far as CPAC goes- Republicans are Stuck on Stupid and Racism oozez out of the Consrvative Movement, Rubio is a Bytch that backed off of his opinions of Immigration, Romney, Palin, and Trump are NOT the people that need to be “leaders” of that party, the RNC chair is Delusional if he thinks the American People are deaf to the fact that the GOP has “not a Message Issue, but a Messenger and Delivery Problem”- and Constitution says Separation of Church and State YET apparently Chiristianity is the Unofficial Religion of America, which leads me to Rob Portman, Speaker Dumbner and Same Sex Marriage. Portman is two years Too Late and a Fool to oppose it this long, Even AFTER finding out his Own Son is Gay. As an Agnostic I really hate Cherry-Picking Christians who Selectively CHOOSE parts of the Bible to adhere to and place values of Sin higher than others, all the while Judging those who are of Other Faiths of Worship and “claim” to be Christ-Like. GTFOHWTBS

    Alright, my rant is over with, but I’m sure I will be getting tons of conversation from everyone. I’m Pragmatic and a Realist, and this 21 Century has been full of Hypocrisy on a Political and Spiritual/Ethical/Racial/Gender/Socioeconomic/Common Sense aspect

    • IcePrincess3

      Welp :-)

    • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

      The twitter reactions were terrible (check out publicshaming.tumblr.com)

      I wanted to raise all kinds of h3ll when Stubenville native Traci Lords tweeted about being raped by Big Red players back when she was a teen in the 80s (this sh1t is part of the fabric of the city) and, of course, people ragged on her pr0n career, etc. Um, how/why you think she got pimped out to begin with? Y’all not paying attention?

      • AfroPetite

        My mother told my younger brother from an early age that he was to NEVER touch girls or be alone with them. A little black boy’s word against any female’s word has never held up well.

        • Think2Inspire

          I also talk to my little brother about rape and consent. I asked him what he would want to happen if he passed out while drunk at a party and he said “Leave me alone unless I’m dying.” Told him to remember that for the future.

        • Todd

          And the people of the Lord said…amen! Heck, I had to watch some jacked up situations go down because of that. I wasn’t going to become strange fruit because of some woman’s lies.

          • IcePrincess3

            +1000000 Just ask Kobe Bryant.

            • AfroPetite

              Athletes baffle me, stop fcuking these women who don’t have ish to lose!

              My boss’s husband said that if he were ever bold enough to cheat it would be with some woman who stood to lose more than him if the affair should ever surface lol

              • IcePrincess3

                That’s a good strategy. Sounds like he’s given this one some thought lmao

                • AfroPetite

                  I made a mental note, gave him the people’s eyebrow and kept it moving.

                  • camilleblue

                    AP you killin me this morning – not the peoples eyebrow tho!!

              • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

                Smartest money ever if you’re going to do dirt. Only deal with people who have something to lose.

              • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

                Athletes baffle me, stop fcuking these women who don’t have ish to lose!

                I mentioned this earlier – this is why Shaq was so smart – his mistresses were highly educated professionals. Shaunie was blasting dentists, lawyers, etc he was smanging. He was smart to find women who would stay quiet – they were not about to lose their careers

                • IcePrincess3

                  Except he was with Superhead. He was in her first book. She said he was trickin hard, bought her $10,000 worth of furniture, & isn’t packin where it counts. God, that woman is so vile. Not for gettin it how she lives, but for all that snitching on ppl who were trying to help her.

                  • AfroPetite

                    As promiscuous as she was she actually found a man who voluntarily married her.

                    Although with Wayne’s seed supposedly growing inside her I’m not sure if her nuptials still stand.

                  • mena

                    I definitely browsed that book in a book store. She said that Shaq isn’t as big as people think. However, Kobe and Vin Diesel are GOOD TO GO.

      • Todd

        Traci Lords is a bit suspect to me though. I’m not doubting her past rape story, because it jives with a lot of other things in her past. However, there’s also a very strong body of evidence that she might have been 21 Jump Street Pr0n Squad. Two wrongs don’t make a right, but being a handmaiden for anti-pr0n nutbars in the FBI is NOT the business.

    • nillalatte

      Tell us how you really feel! :D

    • mena

      The horrible and humbling part about that entire case, was that it took actual hackers to leak information for the case to get the attention it deserved.

      More charges are coming btw. That was just the beginning. I think they are going to go after the police department and other players.

      • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

        i really admire hackers who use their talents to bring forth justice. i think it’s fascinating that there are outlaws who are out to bomb the system by using it against itself ..

        • http://dominicanabanana.wordpress.com Asiyah

          Me tooooooo!

    • A Woman’s Eyes

      Traci Lords had the same sentiment about Steubenville. That’s her hometown. She talked about how she and another female relative were raped in that town and how no one did shit about it (…until recently)

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        Please free my comment about Traci Lords’ hometown.

    • GypsyCurl

      “Rubio is a Bytch that backed off of his opinions of Immigration, Romney, Palin, and Trump”

      Let’s not forget the newest Republican in the lime light, Jeb Bush.

      Jeb, you are for immigration now? When did this happen?

      Oh, when you decided to run for president in 2016 and you see that the Republicans are getting nowhere spewing racism?

      Good call. I will definitely be voting for you in 2016 because now that you are back peddling, by 2016, I won’t remember any of your negative comments and actions on minorities.

      • Marshal

        he was Pro-Immigration Reform back in 2006-until he was Against it then 24 hrs later he was For it again….