Around The VSB World

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As some of you may already be aware of, I’ve been working for Ebony.com for eight months now. My official title there is “contributing editor,” a job that consists of, well, editing and contributing. The contributing consists of me writing two to four original pieces there per week. My latest — “The Curious Case of The Man-Less “Meet Market” — looks at why men never seem to show up at these ubiquitous dating/relationship panels and events.

As a person who has been both a panelist and a moderator at many of these types of events, I can tell you that hypothetical woman’s rhetorical question is not hyperbole. Whether I was sitting on a panel in New York City or D.C. or moderating a discussion in Pittsburgh, every time I’ve been on stage and looked at the audience, I’ve noticed a mass of women’s faces with a couple guys sprinkled in here and there, specks of pepper in a bowl of salt. (At one show, the numbers seemed so skewed that I actually started counting people in the rows in front of me to see if the actual number reflected what I was seeing. By the time I reached 100, I had counted 86 women and 14 men.)

You can see the rest at Ebony.com 

I’m also continuing to do my weekly live chats at Madame Noire. Last week presented a change of pace, though, as one of the editors there wanted me to give my thoughts about how Kim Kardashian is able to consistently pull so many “high-status” men despite her public sexual past. I obliged.

As far as Panama, he’s still doing his thing as the “Girl’s BFF” at Guyspeak. Check out his advice to a woman who’s man won’t divorce his wife. (Yes, you read that correctly)

I really think the answer to this comes down to being a man versus being a woman. Like, I understand your argument. I truly do. I just think that its asking a lot for a man to part with his life’s work just to show you that he loves you. Now, from a business standpoint, he knows the rules, you get a divorce, if you live in a community property state, things get split down the middle. At some point, a divorce will happen. However, his wife isn’t interested in a divorce? That is odd to me

Also, if you haven’t listened to his segment on THE BLAQOUT SHOW every Wednesday at 8pm, what the hell are you doing with your life?

No one on Earth is exactly sure what Liz is doing, but we do know that it involves Moguldom Media, the church, and atomic bombs.

Very Smart Singles seems to be humming along and shit. Remember, if you are interested in us posting your profile, please email us at contact@verysmartbrothas.com with your name, location, a short bio, and a high-resolution picture.

Lastly, we have two major projects going on right now, one of which we’ll definitely shed more light on next week. Both should be pretty entertaining, and both will need your help to succeed. I know that’s cryptic as hell, but it’s Friday and, well, it’s Friday.

Anyway, people of VSB.com, what’s going on in your worlds right now?

—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

340 thoughts on “Around The VSB World”

  2. The usual, school and pretending to work.
    Being in the first 25 VSB comments for probably the first time, after holding down the end of the page for a few years.
    Yay CPT!

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  5. I was begining to speculate Champ

    Was hung over
    Killed by his cat
    Assinated by the Bougie Black Chicks
    Fell deeeeeeeeeeeeeeep into some snatch
    Found some love for the east coast cats that goto sleep before midnight
    Is walking the isles of Trader Joes waiting for the guy to refill the sample juice dispenser

    You get the idea

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  7. Hey, I’m glad we got a free post today. Oh, and for all you SEC stans, Rutgers is going to run up in them Hogs tomorrow. Between the Jews, Muslims, Vegans and East Coast Negroes among the alumni base, pig might not be the most popular dish, but we’ll take it just fine tomorrow. Go Knights! Barbecue them damn Razorbacks. The SEC is going to be exposed for the fraud it really is!

    Oh, and real men aren’t vulnerable African Mami. That’s how we protect ourselves from emotionally abusive women. :)

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    • Awwwww, the lil Big East school wants to pway. How cute. Well Todd I can’t lie. If yall don’t beat wack arse Arkansas without their starting QB yall might as well drop back down to Division 2 lol. Call me when yall play a real SEC team with their full roster….and what did you mean about schooling Adonis? Did u really take on that project? If so your ego just couldn’t resist huh?

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          • LOL. Um yeah, trust me, I don’t have a dog in this fight. But I do remember hearing that on the news yesterday. In fact, the reporters were literally jumping up and down they were so excited (they really get into football around these parts).

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      • The thing about Adonis is that as much as he talks about Game, he acts like a lame obsessed with women. I don’t necessarily doubt his body count, but he comes off like a dude who isn’t about anything. Since I tend to go hard body on the women, I had to balance it out.

        Plus, when Rutgers scheduled Arkansas, they were a top 10 team. How was the AD supposed to know they would flop like The Firm album? LOL Though if the old alma mater pulls this off, this will be the first road win against a SEC team not named Vandy since 1978, when they beat Tennessee at Neyland Stadium. My dream though would be a bowl matchup against West Virginia, so we can finally get those hicks once and for all. After all, wasn’t West Virginia deemed too crappy on academics to join the ACC? LOL

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        • “The thing about Adonis is that as much as he talks about Game, he acts like a lame obsessed with women.”

          Ya think?! lol, I mean good luck and sh!t. He seems too stubborn for me. It’s not that he’s too far gone (although he’s dangerously close to that) but it’s that he’s too angry. Classic Mode 4 behavior, but he won’t acknowledge that. Can’t fix it until you acknowledge it, but I actually think you would be the perfect guy to help him. You’ve got WAY more patience than the rest of us as your marriage has strengthened your patience muscle to 10 times the average husband…and that’s sayin a LOT lol

          As far as Rutgers though, I haven’t paid much attention to them this year, they could be good. I think Arkansas was overrated this year anyway, and the last two weeks without their starter probably damaged their psyches to the point where they don’t care that much about this season since they probably won’t get a decent bowl game now. I didn’t know about West Virginia bein too dumb to join the ACC but that sounds about right lol

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        • @Todd

          Believe it or not, I was taking Adonis to school while practicing my spiel for a job fair. It’s good to exercise the brain.

          Whatever you are smoking right now, I want a $50 bag.

          The thing about Adonis is that as much as he talks about Game, he acts like a lame obsessed with women.

          It’s the truth, obsession is underrated & misunderstood.

          I don’t necessarily doubt his body count,

          What is my stated BC BTW @Todd?

          but he comes off like a dude who isn’t about anything.

          Thanks for the motivation.

          Since I tend to go hard body on the women, I had to balance it out.

          If what I say disturbs you, than you are SOFT, very soft on women.

          —————-

          @KeishaBrown

          “he’s very very very unbalanced. and that’s putting it nicely.”

          Balance is overrated & balance is for women. Ditto for mediocre & average. None of the great people who ever left an indelible mark on the alleged human history were balanced. NONE. And very few the men you gave your p*ssy to were balanced. So, I am par for the course if you ask me.

          ———————–

          @JustMeTheGuy

          Ya think?! lol, I mean good luck and sh!t.

          He is going to need alot more than that engage me. more like an $150 of whatever he was smoking, and an Two shots of Incredible Hulk

          He seems too stubborn for me.

          So was my parents. Send them a “Thank You” note.

          It’s not that he’s too far gone (although he’s dangerously close to that) but it’s that he’s too angry.

          Anger is bad for most women. Anger is good thing for me. Let’s hope some good will come of it.

          Classic Mode 4 behavior, but he won’t acknowledge that. Can’t fix it until you acknowledge it,

          Sit down with the Armchair psychology. Hang out with a dude before you do a full psych evaluation. But the only thing classic is the projecting you’re doing.

          but I actually think you would be the perfect guy to help him.

          Not a poor excuse of a husband, I’m good. But if he has been with 100 different women s*xually, show me the h0efax, and I am all ears

          You’ve got WAY more patience than the rest of us as your marriage has strengthened your patience muscle to 10 times the average husband…and that’s sayin a LOT lol

          Congrats on the marriage @Todd, I hope it works out.

          Super Saiyan To The End

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  8. I’m here at my depressing job in one of the many projects of Brownsville, Brooklyn, playing “Can’t Be Life” – Jay-Z, Beanie Siegel & Scarface.

    I’m going through the motions of how the hell did it all end up this way. So I got a quick question to everyone. What would you say to the 18-year old version of you, knowing what you know now?

    A bottle of tequilia has my name on it somewhere.

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    • I’d say to my 18 year old self “Your mom is crazy, and trying to oblige women to give you head isn’t going to get you anywhere. Otherwise, live your life. It’ll give you more fun than you think, and it’s more likely to get you chicks and get you more than you ever expected from a woman.”

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      • I’d say the same thing.

        Especially the “your mom is crazy” part. Because my mom is scary crazy. Like fully functional, authorative position having, seep through the cracks crazy.

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    • Good question, considering this is the last week of my “Roaring Twenties” and I’ve been pondering something similar.

      When I was 18, I was a sophomore in college. In my mind, I was going to the set the whole world on fire with my thoughts and opinions. But somewhere along the way, I got sidetracked. I started letting others’ opinions about my life become my own and I became complacent.

      So, if I could tell my 18 y/o K. Marie anything, it would be this: live your life. Even if you fall flat on your face, you can always get up and yell “Superstar!” Because you are.

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    • Chasing them girls will leave you broke…
      Work on your ball handling and put on about 20lbs of muscle….
      Don’t bullshix in them classes and don’t squander your fin aid..you’ll pay dearly later….
      Go over seas..
      Every chick that you’ll ever love will turn their back on you, be heartless and get money….
      Record every song that you like for in 15 years music is gonna suck pig …..
      Avoid getting credit cards like you’d avoid a chick with airborne herpes……
      Take every dime you make and invest in this little company called google….

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      • ha @ credit cards…if that aint the truth.

        Yea…every young person should get the oppurtunity to go overseas, it’s necessary.

        amen @ chasing girls leaves you broke….money wise and a sea of broken dreams

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      • im curious – chasing girls = losing money.

        in what way exactly? this may sound naive, but at 18… what kind of money are you really throwing at them? you aren’t making that much money, but you also don’t have that many bills. (at that time)

        plus…isn’t that the cost of wanting to have female company (no, im not calling myself or females prostitutes) – but if you ask a girl to go out to the movies, and you decide/have to pay, since you didnt get a return on the investment you wanted (whatever that may be) – you consider it a complete waste and worthy of putting on pause until you are more financially sound (but perhaps socially stunted)? and how much is enough? the longer you chase money and rebuff dating – then what?

        do you not become one of those dudes who feels entitled to a ‘good woman’ because you make lots of money, but don’t know how to be in a relationship?

        im curious, because this has been written before.
        *this is when i hope for a constructive conversation about male/female relations on vsb*

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        • Hmm, I always think about football players who lose $$ because of baby mama issues when people say ‘chasing girls = losing money’. Actually, for everyday regular folks, if you get married it’s actually a net gain for men, health wise (you have someone to remind you about doctor’s appointments) and financially because you are sharing costs and creating an economy of scale.

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          • If we get that lucky. I think a lot of people don’t realize, at least for the men here, many of the women of our lives resemble the women we grew attracted to as we got older. Unfortunately, those women were bad for many of us, but that ended up all we knew for that time. I just think it takes time to broaden our horizons and when we talk, you might catch us in the part of our lives when we haven’t gotten there yet.

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          • Actually, for everyday regular folks, if you get married it’s actually a net gain for men, health wise (you have someone to remind you about doctor’s appointments) and financially because you are sharing costs and creating an economy of scale.

            ROTFLMAO! As my dad would say, this must not be my home planet. Because this does not make any sense for me.

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        • @keisha brown

          It’s a mean cycle that starts with girls maturing faster than boys. Some girls will take wayyy too far in their dating rituals and are looking for the more mature guy who can do (and buy) things boys in her peer group can’t (legally anyway). All men are peacocks to a certain extent and the way to get (note I said get and not keep) a young lady’s attention often has a monetary componet attached to it (the clothes you wear, the car you drive, your ability to lavish gifts, etc.) You may get lucky and get chosen but that does not mean it’s a permanent selection. Some men will look at the cost of what has been spent in the attempt to compete in that rat race and determine the cost is not necessarily worth the benefits.

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        • Simply put, at 18, either we were working or got money from family. Either way, that money went into trying to impress girls. No one is going to tell you at 18 that you don’t have to pay for a date. NO ONE. So every girl expects to be taken somewhere and to do something. That becomes ingrained in our heads as adults, and then we do believe that’s the only way to start the repore with women, but clearly time allows the truth to be told. But that truth IS NOT ACCESSIBLE for people at 18. Ask any parent if they gave their son money to take a girl on a date, they will say yes.

          But to address what you are saying, I believe that ideal is why some men end up feeling like they are owed something, after doing that routine for so many years. Maturity can fix that though.

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        • As a former 18 year old man, lemme explain the thinking of someone similar situated. Unless you’re one of those rare ladies men knee-deep in poontang, attracting and dating women is going to suck up a lot of time and resources. Rare is the man for whom hanging out with their boys, or even their platonic female friends, is going to be most expensive than dating. A man at that age is better off hanging out with his friends and spending time and money developing his interests and hobbies. Not only will he be much more socially developed, but when women do come along (as they tend to do when you develop yourself), you have something to offer them besides a hard d1ck and bubble gum once that initial dating rush peters out.

          In other words, men need to develop themselves as people before they go out and pursue women. Rare is the man who finds himself in a romantic relationship (or any other relationship, for that matter).

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            • I wouldn’t say not date AT ALL. After all, 18 year old hormones are some serious business, and even with modern broadband and Fleshlights, pr0n only does so much. What I would say is to keep stuff casual at all times. Don’t get too serious or put too much energy into it. Of course, there will be exceptions to this rule, but they will be rare and pretty obvious to the adults around them. But I wouldn’t tell a 18 year old guy to go hard in the paint with dating. It’s silly at best, damaging at worst.

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                  • The game hasn’t changed per se, the tools used to play the game have evolved. We used to write letters, now they text. We used to make mixtapes with actual tapes, do they even do that now??? What’s considered to be acceptable garb is now more expensive. The venues are more expensive. At a certain age, travelling with ol girl on the bus while on your date is a no no. etc, etc, etc.

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                    • You’re right, things are definittely more expensive. Movies cost the same as buying a dvd these days, going out to eat can be more expensive than paying a regular bill, etc.

          • “Unless you’re one of those rare ladies men knee-deep in poontang, attracting and dating women is going to suck up a lot of time and resources. Rare is the man for whom hanging out with their boys, or even their platonic female friends, is going to be most expensive than dating. A man at that age is better off hanging out with his friends and spending time and money developing his interests and hobbies. ”

            Exactly. Develop yourself (and your wealth) and they’ll come in flocks along the way anyway

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        • “im curious – chasing girls = losing money.

          in what way exactly? this may sound naive, but at 18… what kind of money are you really throwing at them? you aren’t making that much money, but you also don’t have that many bills. (at that time)”

          lets keep it one hunned eleventyfive, women are expensive, dating, courting, hell just going out every weekend trying to meet em’ (we don’t get in clubs for free before 11) for a teenage dude, everything a nicca does is all about being seen and getting noticed. I had a blast doing it too. but alas all that money and time that should’ve been invested in my hoop game, investing in my financial future etc….went into partying, bullshixing and girls. with not much to show for it today but regrets of a wasted youth. i had no one around to teach me about money and debt and so forth.

          and no, money doesn’t entitle a dude to top notch women… my motivation for making scratch now has nothing to do with women..i’m not trynna be one of these old men out here pushing on shopping carts because they’re homeless and social security has gone the way of the dinosaur. with very little family and the prospect of having a wife and kids getting less and less likely, i need to make sure that i have the finances in place to be secure when i’m old…..

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          • I’m with you. I wasn’t spending all my time chasing girls, but I definitely spent enough of it doing so. I used to travel up and down the East Coast to see chicks….from Florida, to Jersey…hell I went to Nebraska for my ex. And when I try to rationalize where I got the money to do that all that shyte, I have no clue, and know damn well I can’t repeat it now. But that’s the problem, we were told to live free and have fun, then told in the same breathe, prepare for tomorrow. Can’t do both.

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    • “I know you don’t follow to directions and you don’t take advice so I ain’t telling you nothinn about nothinn cause you’re only gonna argue with my anyhow. You will come to find out on your own that you already know the Truth but you will only accept this when you decide to stop lying to yourself.”

      mm. would you look at that. still applicable.

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    • “What would you say to the 18-year old version of you, knowing what you know now?”

      WOW!!! Here’s wishing…
      - stay with IT, that’s your passion
      - don’t get married
      - don’t have kids
      - become that playgirl that you know exists in you
      - forget the people who don’t understand your lifestyle choice
      - get the hell out of the south after college graduation
      - travel, you know you love the clandestine life.

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        • The South=Hell. I’m sorry but its true unless you’re in a major metropolitan area like Atlanta, Houston, Miami, New Orleans, or Charlotte. There is no place in the South for enlightened thinking ESPECIALLY if you’re black. Environment matters A LOT, and I’m realizing now as an adult how toxic my environment has been.

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          • Apparently you can add Dallas to that list, but other than that I agree. Glad I’m movin to one of those metropolitan areas soon tho

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          • Completely understood. But I can say the same for NYC and I’ve been here all my life. For all the progressiveness, there are pockets in these 5 boroughs are literally the equivlaent of rural Tennessee, Mississippi, & Alabama put together.

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    • Life ain’t fair.
      you’re a nice guy, you’ll finish last.
      accept it and enjoy the adventures while finishing last.

      oh and mix light sodas with light liquors, dark with dark. easy on Devil’s Spring.

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  9. I’m chillin in my confortable bed in China (seriously the rain has not stopped for 24 hours and it will be another 72 hourse before there is absolutely no rain. Its soothing but not towering stiletto frindly weather.) looking up some hotels for a mini getaway in Cambodia, Thailand, and Milan. Yea Im that traveling arse lady. After a looooong week and now understanding the cultural difference in American classroom and Chinese classrooms…im lookin for a getaway already. It’s gonna be one long semester. And while I love my students…I will be so happy when I return to the fashion industry!!!

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    • As a black person in China, please tell me about your experiences so far.

      I’m going to jump at a chance to do either the Jet program in Japan or a work study in China, and I’d like to know how you’re being recieved on that end of the world. Also, are you being taught Mandarin & Cantonese?

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      • Go to Japan or Korea. They pay the most Korea is cheaper than China and Japan is expensive as heyull but you’ll make great mula :)

        China? They aint used to seeing “chocolate” as I am called. Children point. Some women have gasped. Men literally just stare like Im i dunno…Ive had students ask me why I’ve never considered modeling lol. The language is difficult as thee f*ck. Like one syllable such as yi means a million things. However, its easily distinguishable either by tone or to make it worse yi means many things and has a million different characters,,,yea!!!!

        My butt is not that big but here in China Ive got a dunk! Like…i havent seen a woman with a**. Oh and they all don’ look alike and many are tall (more North you go, the more tall they are). The women love the men and the men *gasp* love black women but get intimidated becuase they don’t know much about us. *shrugs*

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        • I asked because I’ve heard stories of rich Chinese men and their infatuation with women of color. I know reguarly though, we aren’t as known in China the way white people are, but I know in Korea, there are plenty of Black people there because of the army bases.

          I’m about 5th grade level on my Japanese, I’ve got a lot to do, but I know Japan truly is a killer on the pockets, so Korea has been looking good lately.

          Trust me, learning Asian languages sounds difficult, but it really is just about the dialect, it just takes time but they always say, every language but English is easy to learn.

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          • Im jealous you know Japanese! Korean is easier though. Chinese is the hardest cuz these ninjas (pun) have tens of thousands of different characters and character sets like what…but I know enough characters to gamble in mah jong ^_^…had a student teach me bwhahahaha.

            I know one thing…every food i like i know in chinese now. Rice was the 1st one i learned then waffle, then french fries, and so on.

            Ive gotten a few dinner date offers (all of them quite wealthy). There are a FEW (3 men) Chinese men Im attracted to but most of them are more effiminate and i like my men very manly with deep voices. I find also, for MOST of the men it’s not a fetish. I still tread with caution though. And you’re chocolate…the asian women only like chocolate black men lol. They’ll pounce!

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            • “I know one thing…every food i like i know in chinese now. Rice was the 1st one i learned then waffle, then french fries, and so on.”

              …And I’m assuming that the “and so on” part is either dog or rat…

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            • Japanese is awesome! It’s really not the hardest thing to learn, but I watch a lot of anime and Japanese movies, so I tend to pick up on things more so than I can with a text book. But I still envy you for knowing Cantonese, because for my job & NYC especially, it would be a great thing to know.

              YOU HAVE TO TEACH ME TO PLAY MAJHONG! I need to whoop the butts of these old Chinese guys at the park ASAP.

              Hmmm Chinese cougars…I think I’m going to enjoy my future trip.

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    • Hey… this is gonna sound so weird and silly but… is there a big community of black American teachers out there? I know someone teaching in China and thought “how weird would it be if y’all knew each other”.

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      • I honestly don’t know lol. What part of China is your friend in cuz China is large! But from what ive heard, there are a good number of black people here, Japan, and Korea

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        • No, I know China is huge… something like one of the largest in the world but I dont’ know why I thought maybe there was one program that everyone went through to go teach over there… maybe government affiliated… anyway, nevermind I’m sure it’s a long shot and I don’t even know what part she’s in… well I can’t really remember where she said she is. Duh well.

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      • Bwhahahaha…they’re interesting. Friendly for the most part (as long as they’re men are not looking at me lol). However, all their license plates should read YOLO cuz thats how they drive…now thats scary.

        I need to know why they scare you though?

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  10. I honestly don’t think I have ever seen a post go this long and not have 100 comments. Let alone break 50. And I have been reading VSB for over 3 years. Wow.

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