An Ode To The Realest And “Wokest” White Dude Ever: The White Barber At The Black Barbershop » VSB

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An Ode To The Realest And “Wokest” White Dude Ever: The White Barber At The Black Barbershop

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Finding a truly and thoroughly “woke” White guy is like finding an albino alligator. Or a Kappa with dignity and tact. They’re so rare and so elusive that the search for them often ends up propping up pretenders and a few contenders who are trying waaaaaaaay too hard and end up actually being “overwoke” like they’re freebasing espresso. (Hi Matt McGorry!)

This week, of course, Ben & Jerry’s ice cream founders Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield are in the news after declaring an allegiance to #BlackLivesMatter — a brave and genuinely woke move that also offers a bit of reconciliation to lactose intolerant Black people (like me) who’ve devoured their delicious treats and were left in a cloud of painfully flatulent shame. Today, however, I’d also like to bring attention to a particular brand of consistently woke White guy who rarely gets press and, depending on the neighborhood, sometimes even rarely gets people in his chair. The White barber at the all-Black barbershop.

What makes the White barber at the Black barbershop so consistently woke? Well, it has to do with the screening and vetting process they go through. Think about all of the conditions that must be met:

1. They need to be comfortable working for a Black person (the shop owner)

2. They need to be comfortable in a working environment with all-Black coworkers

3. They need to be comfortable going to work in a predominately Black neighborhood

4. They need to have spent enough time around Black people to not only develop a skill specific to us, but be good at it

These qualifications alone eliminate like 92% of White people. (And, sadly, like 72% of Black people.) But this alone isn’t enough.

Barbershops are often places where unfiltered and racially-tinged conversations about sports and politics and relationships and pop culture and booty occur. And, if you are a barber at the shop, taking part in these conversations is part of your job description. Which means that a White barber knows enough about these topics to chime in with nuance and consideration. And, most importantly, knows enough to know when not to chime in. When to just cut hair, watch Netflix, and let the brothas hash it out. You will not find the same “Well, actually…” types of White guys at the Black barbershop you do on the Internet. Because they know better than to “Well, actually…” a roomful of niggas with sharp objects.

Anyway, if you’re on the hunt for a genuinely woke White dude, go to a few Black barbershops until you find one with a White barber. And then sit in his chair and talk to him, because he might not have many customers.

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • miss t-lee

    Did you see the vid of the white guy who got his haircut at a Black barbershop for the first time and is forever changed? I hollered.
    I’m not surprised about Ben & Jerry–they are two old hippies after all. They’ve always been my second fave ice cream, next to Blue Bell, but after yesterday I’ll definitely send a little more money their way. Plus their coffee heath bar crunch is that crack.

    • Courtney Wheeler

      I dated this white guy for awhile who raved about the time he wandered into a black barber shop to get his hair cut. They talked about The Knicks, how Patrick Ewing sneaks were underrated, weed, how guys who can’t hold there liquor is the worst man in the world, and of course big butts.

      He said he never had so much fun/ felt accepted in his entire life.

      • miss t-lee

        HA! Time of his life.

        • Courtney Wheeler

          Omg yeah he was beside himself happy…plus they did a great job on his beard from what I remember. haha

          • miss t-lee

            Love it.

      • Mochasister

        Isn’t it funny how other people tend to treat white people a lot better than they treat others?

    • HeyThereLG

      I literally cried watching this.

      • miss t-lee

        I did too last night. I was weak.

    • Dougie

      Blue Bell? I thought you were better than this.

      • miss t-lee

        I’m from Texas. Don’t try it.

      • B-Dot Willz

        But Blue Bell is the $hit though. I’m not from Texas but that doesn’t mean I don’t know a glorious thing when I see it.

        • miss t-lee

          *daps*

      • Jennifer

        You must be the Feds.

        • Quirlygirly

          Girl, some people have fault a$$ taste buds..smh

        • miss t-lee

          Tell em.

      • Cleojonz

        I don’t think I’ve ever even seen this Blue Bell ice cream except in internet photos. It’s not in my neck of the woods.

        • miss t-lee

          It’s only in select markets. You gotta come further South.

          • grownandsexy2

            They got it in the east too.

            • miss t-lee

              Where?

              • grownandsexy2

                In Philly, or at least it used to be until the listeria recall. Produced at Blue Bell Industries in a suburb aptly named Blue Bell, PA, a suburb of Philly. Now that we’re talking about it, I haven’t seen any lately that I remember but I’m always checking for Edy’s or Breyers anyway. Their website is up talking about coming back in select locations.

                • miss t-lee

                  it’s been back here since May or so. But then again, I’m like an hour away from the headquarters.

        • grownandsexy2

          I can get Blue Bell ice cream in Philly. But my fave is Breyers and Edy’s.

          • miss t-lee

            Hmmm. Good to know for my folks out that way.
            I’ve had Breyer’s, It’s a last resort.

    • Johanne Sterling

      This is internet gold

    • Geechi_Luciano

      crazy thing is… his line is trash lol. that barber aint do him no justice

      • miss t-lee

        LOL
        Let that man flourish in peace.

    • Dalili

      “Plus their coffee heath bar crunch is that crack.”

      Indeed, manna from above!

      • miss t-lee

        YOU KNOW!!!! *daps*

    • Shanna

      A former white co-worker was getting married and moving from his one bedroom apartment in the city to a beautiful home in the ‘burbs and all he would talk about was how far he was going to be from his black barber.

      • miss t-lee

        Men and their barbers. A serious bond.

    • Nik White

      Coffee. Heath. Bar. That used to be dinner some evenings but I’ve been delivered.

      • miss t-lee

        Whew! I haven’t had any in a while, but it is the truth.

    • HoneyRose

      I am choking right now, lmao. He is so happy

      • miss t-lee

        Ain’t he though? LOL

    • Emmie

      “I don’t know how to describe this in white people words”…I. AM. CRIINE!!

      • miss t-lee

        That part had me dying also…lol

    • Blueberry01

      Bro, I got you…

      …but, does he really ‘got me’?

      Damn, I look crispy as fcuk!

      • miss t-lee

        ?????

        • Blueberry01

          Lol. He was killing me! I’d be interested in knowing where he’s from.

          Honestly, though. Something tells me he had some urban influences prior to going to the barbershop. He doesn’t strike me as the unaware, ignorant, entitled white boy-type.

          • miss t-lee

            If I’m not mistaken he was from Michigan, not sure the area though.

    • Mary

      Why does he need to do that? Is he trying to prove something? I don’t trust people who’re all up in other cultures like that. You know HEB rags with his white friends and family about how down hie is with Black people. Cultural vampires.

  • Other_guy13

    Two things I can count on in the world…
    1. Julio Jones walking with a limp after a Falcons Game
    2. Damon Young with Kappa Shade

    • brothaskeeper

      1. Every. Single. Time.
      2. Damon broke a personal record, I believe, by shading Kappas in the second sentence of a piece.

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      • Anne1116

        Is he a Que or something?

        • Val

          GDI as far as I know.

          • Brooklyn_Bruin

            He a gangster disciple? What..

            • GDI == God Damn Independent. That means he never pledged to anyone.

              • Mr. Mooggyy

                Independent…..Individual…..its all the same!

              • Mochasister

                Did the Kappas bully him in college? Serious question by the way.

            • Val

              Lol Yeah, what?

            • Jennifer

              Hahahaha!

            • Geechi_Luciano

              HOLLLERING!

            • Kylroy

              Stop jerking me around on the acronyms! I would have looked an utter fool at some point in the future, but for the grace of Todd’s correction downthread.

          • Other_guy13

            I never knew how I felt about that term.

            • Val

              Why?

              • Other_guy13

                Is it an insult of compliment?

                • Val

                  Neither. It’s a statement of fact. Just means someone isn’t affiliated with, in this case, a fraternity.

                  • Other_guy13

                    I know that….nevermind…let me drink in peace

        • QueenAT

          He kinda screams “service fraternity” or maybe he went through a bit of hazing during a social club. Sadly, even the gospel choir hazed.

          • Val

            “… maybe he went through a bit of hazing during a social club.”

            https://i.redd.it/fry4yurqqkcx.gif

          • Mochasister

            Whaaat! What is a gospel choir doing hazing?! Was this a Christian gospel choir or a secular one?

        • BraqDaMixologist

          We Ques would not throw that type of shade. He probably is a GDI that finds Kappas particularly comical.

      • -h.h.h.-

        i think Champ is trying to be made an honorary Alpha with the consistent Kappa shading…like a longevity award or something

        • Or you could just be independent like me! Real talk though, Phi Beta Sig made a run at a playa in college, but once I saw those fees and how my bank account was set up…

          • Adrienne_in_MTown

            Mane what? I decided that if I needed some sisters, God would’ve gave me some off top. Plus I was barely making it with the homework/studying for that 8am class (freshman year only, of course).

        • We don’t do honorary membership. You gotta earn it.

      • I don’t think @MidsizeMeech is gonna like this

        • Jennifer

          “MidsizeMeech” *snicker*

        • Lea Thrace

          applause for Meech slander!

      • Rotflmao

    • kb

      Yeah, I don’t get the Kappa shade, he must have traumatized by one in college. I hate those Kappas, they stole my…

      • QueenAT

        red glazed glasses case with the white candy cane stripe. It was probably that petty.

      • Lea Thrace

        you should be used to this WELL DESERVED shade sir!

        • kb

          So I am woman :) but also a Black Greek. Not sure why he shades Kappas more than anyone else. It’s almost like an obbession.

          • -h.h.h.-

            once upon a time not long ago, in college where people wore pajamas and lived life slow, where laws were stern and justice stood…

            lil champ was just minding his business, durnig a general assembly.

            and riiiiiiiiiiight before assembly started…when everyone was there, especially that cutie Champ had his eyes on…

            Tyrell Higgins and Dexter Walcott, two members of the chill you KANE’t touch this Kappas of their school, thought it would be nice to prank this awkward black guy…

            http://www.animateit.net/data/media/april2014/0noa6qh081.gif

            *peep the shimmy at the end*

            and since this video lives on in infamy, Champ swore, one day, he’d get his revenge. or as nat turner would say… REVENNNNGGGGEEEEEEEE

            • Lmao… I would’ve fought that dude..lol

              • Kylroy

                Seriously. Bring all the clever props you want, shoving someone to the ground is just inviting trouble.

            • Quirlygirly

              And the dude danced after dunking on him.. That mess is cold af and funny as hayle

            • How can people be friends after mess like that?

              • Lea Thrace

                I have to hope he was in on it. Cause if not, his only choice was to pack up his life and move to Alaska.

                • Mochasister

                  I got the feeling he was in on it.

          • Lea Thrace

            Oops! so there is another KB round these parts that is a Kappa. I just assumed you were him.

    • Lea Thrace

      Whats real funny is that the Kappa shade didnt even stand out to me. I have gotten so used to it that i would have missed it if you hadnt pointed it out.

      • Mochasister

        Same here.

    • Val

      Don’t forget the Delta shade. Although he’s backed off of that as of late. Wonder why?

      • QueenAT

        His wife is secretly on line…. shhhh.

      • Mochasister

        Wait, he hates the Dsts too? Oh, red and white. Does he hate the pink and green too?

        • Val

          I don’t think he hates them. Lol He just likes to throw shade at them.

    • LOL the Kappa shade is so consistent yo!

    • Emmie

      The Kappa shade is so damb strong ?

  • Brooklyn_Bruin

    I wonder if a Tim Wise cuts heads. #wordtoGaryOwen

  • Courtney Wheeler

    The Matt McGorry shade. Though harsh, was completely justified.

    • miss t-lee

      Totally justified.

      • kstewart23

        Why? I’ve never heard of this dude, but from a look at his comments and posts given in that Buzzfeed link, he seems to get it. What’s the real deal?

        • Courtney Wheeler

          Sometimes his “woke-mess” was a but heavy handed. It seemed like it was a tool to further his brand. But overall he’s fighting the good fight so i can’t be mad at that

        • miss t-lee

          He’s an actor–currently on How To Get Away With Murder, and also Orange Is The New Black.
          It just doesn’t seem sincere to me. He seems like he’s trying to be the wokest white person ever.
          I might be wrong, but something about him just makes my teeth itch.

          • BmoreLikeLA

            ditto

          • Oluseyi

            Sounds like, as Mortal Man put it a few days ago, someone who sees us as “a fetish to be mastered, not [people] to be understood and learn from.”

            • miss t-lee

              Indeed.

          • Asiyah

            I think if he wasn’t so extra he’d be alright. I like him but find him overwhelming.

            • miss t-lee

              I think that’s it, too

          • Mochasister

            Same here. He’s trying to hard. I’m always suspicious of white people who bend over backwards trying to be “down.” It’s like those people who are always running around talking about how Christian they are. If you’re truly Christian, it will show in your life.

            • miss t-lee

              Exactly.
              If you’re truly down, we know. It’s not something you have to shout from the rooftops. It’s definitely shown in your deeds and actions.

            • Maestro G

              Preach.

        • mssporadic

          He’s such a try hard! He got a uterus tattoo on his arm.

          • B-Dot Willz

            luckily it was only temporary

    • Other_guy13

      But I like Matt though

      • Courtney Wheeler

        Yeah..same here. I thought he was cute for like 5 mins…but the dude with the beard on HTGAWM is hawt!!!!

    • BmoreLikeLA

      He’s cool, but extremely overrated. White girls who don’t see color love him.

      • Courtney Wheeler

        he aight

      • cakes_and_pies

        I thought they hated him for being too much of a feminist, at least that what Jezebel.com says.

        • BmoreLikeLA

          Jezebel doesn’t count, bc there first edition of the “wokest bae” list had all kinds of white folks on it, ranging from “really” through “you tried it” but completely saturated with “stop looking at Black Twitter’s hashtags”

          • cakes_and_pies

            True.

    • Brandon Allen

      He’s smart. He just took that PR move too far.

      • Courtney Wheeler

        Agreed.

  • brothaskeeper

    The YT barber is always named White Patrick or White Mike. He’s also the homegrown plug.

    • TeeChantel

      There is always White Mike.

      • Question

        Or White Chris.

      • QueenAT

        At FAMU, we automatically added “Whiteboy” to our friends name. Because WhiteBoy Danny and Danny are two separate people. And White Mike could easily get mixed up with Big Mike, Lil Mike, Mike Mike, and Mike-ee.

    • Asiyah

      White Patrick lol makes sense that an Irish guy would fit in well

  • Brooklyn_Bruin

    He keep a bad chick too.

    • Word. Why is it that the token White guy in a clique of Black dudes got some OFFICIAL looking chick? Like where do they teach such sorcery? LOL

      • cakes_and_pies

        They teach it at Gary Owen’s college.

        • Courtney Wheeler

          Gary Owen always kinda irked me though…

          • cyanic

            His presence ruined the original Think Like A Man.

            • Courtney Wheeler

              Yeah he’s too much…it’s like okay dude, we get it..you like black women and you were on ComicView a bunch of times…

              calmdown

              • cyanic

                The novelty of some white person embracing black culture but loving us enough to actually want to be all the way down is no longer necessary. I love my black self enough to not need non-members participation and approval.

          • cakes_and_pies

            How so?

            • Courtney Wheeler

              I dunno. I wasn’t a huge fan of his stand-up and he’s not that great of an actor. Eh I dunno..just not my cup of tea.

              • cakes_and_pies

                Understood. Sometimes he tries too hard.

    • NonyaB?

      Probably cornrows his kids’ hair perfectly at home too.

  • First, Champ, may I invite you to Rutgers? It’s one of the few colleges in America where Kappas are banned. Seriously. They got into hazing trouble in the early 90s, and they’ve yet to been allowed back. You’d love it there! Though don’t sweat all the New Yorkers.

    Second, I’ve never seen a Black barbershop with a White barber. Heck, the one time I lived in a predominantly White town, the White people looks confused as to why I was asking around for a Black barber, and wasn’t that racist? Still, if I see him, that would be interesting to see.

  • Jennifer

    Is there a white chick equivalent at the beauty shop tho? I can’t think of any instances in my life.

    • BmoreLikeLA

      I would never trust Rachel’s hands in my hair. These roots are straight black, not trans-racial.

      • Rachel could probably do it. She was like Super Saiyan with the hair. Like how did she learn that just by hanging around Howard for a few years? That’s a gift! That’s like the White version of Mystical Magical Negro. LOL

        • Epsilonicus

          Or that chick that runs that Vanilla Care For Chocolate Hair website.

          • BmoreLikeLA

            I’m glad that lady is teaching the vanilla masses, but… sometimes that site makes me feel a way.

            • Epsilonicus

              She got a lot of natural sistas getting tips from the site too.

          • miss t-lee

            She’s got skills. Like I can’t cornrow for sh*t and some of her styles are amazing.

            • Epsilonicus

              I know so many natural women who get tips from that site.

              • miss t-lee

                I’ve checked it a time or two.

                • Epsilonicus

                  I saw it and took it as a joke until some women I came across said they take tips from the site for their own hair. I was in shock.

                  • miss t-lee

                    Oh no. Not a joke.
                    I’m glad she was able to learn how to care for her child’s hair, because I’ve ran across too many white ladies who don’t know how to do their Black or Mixed child’s hair.

          • That website gave me life when my daughter was young. It taught me so much.

          • Cleojonz

            I can’t even cornrow let alone all the stuff that chick does!

        • BmoreLikeLA

          she was, I give her that. But I need someone who understands the history behind these naps… it’s a spiritual thing lol.

          • Cleojonz

            It seems like she actually really does though. She had written an essay about how it’s not cool to just touch black (her daughter’s) hair.

          • HoneyRose

            She does. Like Cleojonz says she’s written that essay plus she’s written others about black hair. In fact, she wrote one that explains the reason she decided to learn how to really do her daughter’s hair is because she learned from other black women how important their hair was to them, and she wanted her daughter to fully embrace her identity and heritage. She’s pretty legit.

      • Mochasister

        I’ve only had two white women do my hair. The first time my mother took me so I didn’t have a choice (I was eleven.). She did a good job on both my mother’s and my hair. The second one is went to I was in my early twenties and desperate to get my hair done. She did NOT know what she was doing.

    • miss t-lee

      Not really.
      I’ve only known a handful of white chicks who could do Black hair.

    • overandout

      There are a couple of white girls at my salon. Hilariously, they specialize in natural hair as the more senior black stylists don’t want to ‘deal with all that.’

      • *facepalm* Why does that entire shop make baby Jesus cry? The fails in those two sentences are epic! So much so that I swear Michael Jackson’s estate is going to file a motion in civil court against them. LOL

        • overandout

          Nah, I love my salon. The majority of employees and clientele are black, but there are white, Asian, and Hispanic people there all the time. The older stylists I’m talking about all have long client lists of middle aged suburban black ladies with perms and couldn’t fit you in anyway. The younger stylists (of all races) do natural hair. And they’re fast. As in I get seen only 20 minutes after my appointment was supposed to start.

        • Jennifer

          Rachel Dolezal only failed because of her approach. Done right, she could have lived a happy black-adjacent life without ridicule. I’m assuming these natural stylists handled it the right way.

          • Kylroy

            Seriously. Raised with Black siblings, living in a Black neighborhood, working for Black causes – don’t commit the “sky is green”-level offense of inventing her ethnicity and she’d be fine.

      • PDL – Cape Girl Shero

        Whaaaaat?!?!

      • miss t-lee

        Somebody gotta make that money them other folks leaving on the table…lol

        • Epsilonicus

          If there is a demand, someone is gonna have to supply it.

          • miss t-lee

            Exactly.

      • HoneyRose

        I’m not surprised. I’ve encountered the same amount of cluelessness about my natural hair at both the white stylists and the black stylists I’ve visited since going natural four years ago. But the white stylists are the ones who are fascinated by it and want to learn; they ask me about my hair. The black stylists just act put out that I want them to do right by my hair.

        The exception, of course, are high-end natural salons that wanna charge you $$$$ for a twist-out.

    • I don’t think I’ve ever let Becky to my hair…I wouldn’t trust it.

      • Mochasister

        I feel like the Black salon is one of the few things that’s truly ours. Do they have to be there too?

    • OSHH

      Not on hair but nails at the black shop.

    • TeeChantel

      Never.

    • Courtney Wheeler

      I use to go to this salon where there was a white manicurist. She was pretty dope too

    • Question

      I got THE BEST cut of my life at a White salon (which also cost me $3425879321.89). It took forever, but a different kind of forever (not like black hair salon forever where you spend 2 hours under the dryer and another hour reading Sister2Sister) – cuz she was doing my hair the whole time.

      But that doesn’t really count cuz that’s different than a White stylist at a Black salon.

    • HoneyRose

      Never.

      I’ve had white stylists do my hair with varying results. My recent cut and color was done by a white girl and she did a great job with the cut and color. When it came to style time, though, she had no idea what to do with my 4a kinks. I took care of that myself. (To be fair, I have ALSO had black stylists who had no idea what to do with my natural kinks, either.)

  • “a roomful of Ni99as with sharp objects” LMAO.

    Seems like a lot goes on at the barber shop. I’ve never been a fan of hair shops (female…equivalent?) Thus…I never feel the sense of fellowship I see an hear many black ppl discuss when they discuss going to get their hair groomed.

    • I block out an entire afternoon to get my haircut. The actual cut don’t take long but I always get wrapped up in some silly/serious convo.

      • I usually get in and out. I get a bunch of stuff done while there though.

        • Dougie

          same. I make my appointment and stick to it.

          • Plus the one time I brought my daughter alone (because #singledadlife), I ran into some….challenges. Won’t do that ish again!

            • Barbershops will not censor their language just because the young around around. This ain’t Pop’s Barbershop with the swear jar.

              • Brooklyn_Bruin

                I was like where they do that at. I heard two hours of what really went down at the players ball as an impressionable 9 year old.

                • It’s good you learned in a safe environment.

              • Mr. Mooggyy

                At my shop there’s a conscious effort to watch out for the youngins! But that can quickly become second fiddle for the right trigger words or visuals!

                • Trigger words at my shop- Lebron James, Steph Curry, Ali, Jordan, Kobe, Shaft, booty, PAWGs, fried chicken (as in who is getting it) and Hennessy.

                  If any of these things are said, expect n!gga and curse words to go flying, the vicinity of children and the Child Protection Agency be darned.

                  • Mr. Mooggyy

                    Booty and Sports! All sorts of expletives get ta flying around!

                    • You have n!ggas who’ve never taken physics all of a sudden talk about the wave refraction in a twerker’s right bootycheek and such. The barbershop be crazy sometimes.

                  • brothaskeeper

                    Wouldn’t PAWG’s fall under the booty category?

                    • The conversation always elicits a sense of racial tension- black girls betta watch out, white girls are evolving, I’mma find me a Becky wit a booty, the black race should not intermingle., hoteps Jonesin’ for a lil’ vanilla.

                    • brothaskeeper

                      At my shop, we tend to lump (pun intended) the usual suspects (Iggy Azalea, Scarlett Johansson, Topanga) in a lower to middle-tier phatty, with the upper echelon being reserved for siestas and Kim K. In a summer olympics year, we use Google to look up who that one thick YT girl was in the sprints and include her in the conversation.

              • That wasn’t an issue as much as I go to a Dominican barber and it was culos, culos, culos gigante all over the television. My daughter didn’t mind though. She thought it was just part of the fun! LOL

        • My barber always plays the following things:

          1)Blaxplotation movies
          2)Sportscenter
          3)Martin

          …so I have to stick around and watch it till the end.

          • Mochasister

            Martin used to be played in the beauty shop I used to go to.

        • Lea Thrace

          resisted the urge to make some awesome jokes. thats my good deed for the day.

          • And this is why I had someone pull me aside and, um…encourage me to date some regular women. Also, management has made it known that I need to chill a bit. LOL

      • TeeChantel

        My ex had a rigid schedule when it came to hair cuts. He had a weekly standing appointment at 6:00 pm on Tuesdays. Alternated every week between a shape up and full cut.

        • I don’t understand how people have time/money every week to get a cut.

          • I try to aim for ever 2-3 weeks. It’s easier than shaving for me, particularly with a beard.

            • Same here. #beardgang.

              I have a full beard with a zero fade and a blossoming Afro on top, so my cuts take a while.

            • TeeChantel

              His hair grew in very fast. That’s one thing I admired about him: he never let his hair grow out of place.

          • TeeChantel

            Oh, it was serious for him. He was really good with scheduling stuff.

            • Pretty boy. Was he a Kappa?

              • TeeChantel

                No.

          • grownandsexy2

            Depends on the cost.

      • Ugh I hate that practice. I’m not one to get overly involved with my service workers…just…do what I’m paying you to do, and I’mma be out. I got friends if I wanna chat. I got things to do.

    • Brooklyn_Bruin

      ” I’ve never been a fan of hair shops (female…equivalent?) ”

      *doesn’t touch with straight comb sitting in a jar of blue liquid*

      • why?

        • Brooklyn_Bruin

          *looks around*
          *eyes go shifty*
          *pulls up Tariq Nasheed pdf on phone*

          • You’re losing me.

            • Brooklyn_Bruin

              I’ve read that women folk don’t really be fellowshipping that way.

              • Oh, I fellowship with women plenty. I just have a thing about being chummy with service workers. In the end, you’re not my friend…we’re here for business. Do your job, and do it right…that’s really all I need from you.

                • Brooklyn_Bruin

                  See what I’m talking about

                  • No…

                  • the chummy-ness is the reason why an activity that SHOULD take an hour can take women 5 or 6. I’m #NotWithTheShits please…do my hair and let me leave.

                • Quirlygirly

                  I used to be like that too, then I passed out in the shop on time. I came to, but I was happy that chick knew my sisters’ numbers and gave them a call to come get my butt.

    • miss t-lee

      Same. I’ve always hated going to the beauty shop. Even know if I need something done, I have one or two ladies who rent small private spaces and are by appt only.

    • HoneyRose

      I hate hair salons and spend as little time as possible in them. I’ve just never had that sense of fellowship in a salon, so I go in to get out as quickly as possible.

      • Same here. I was never THAT black girl that was able to neatly fall in with other black girls. Salons can be a bit awkward for me. I just need to get this hair trimmed and deep conditioned, and I don’t want to be here for 6 hours doing that.

  • ElizaisaSleepyPanda

    Damon, Ben and Jerry’s has non dairy options! Their PB&Cookies is the truth!

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