Am I Missing Something?: Dallas Teen Missing Since 2010 Is Deported!

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Sometimes you just feel like a white guy with black outlines.

You ever come across a story or an article that throws you for such a loop that you don’t know which way is up? Or you can’t tell left from right? That was me this morning when my boy forwarded me an article entitled: Dallas teen missing since 2010 was mistakenly deported. <—please read that and watch the video

Now my first inclination was to be pissed at the government (damn you Obama!) for being so damn inept that they’d actually manage to pull this off. Not only that, they managed to send a 15-year-old teenager to Colombia because they effectively didn’t verify her fingerprints to find out who she really was.

But something just didn’t sit right with me on this one. Then I realized that NONE of it made any sense. It created so many questions in my mind I had to take a small chronic break because ninjas be brownnosing these h…well you get my point.

So let’s just start at the beginning of this f*cktasticness. Mmkay? Mmkay.

Fourteen year old Jakadrien Turner runs away from home in November 2010 after being distraught over her parents divorce and her grandfather’s passing. And ends up in Houston. Okay. Plausible. Runaways do runaway sh*t and end up in cities they aren’t from. Why Houston? I have no clue and apparently neither does her family. However that’s where she went, got popped by police gives a fake name that comes up on Immigration and Custom Enforcement’s radar (ICE) and ends up in motherf*cking Colombia because ICE are some inept f*cks. That’s the gist.

But wait…she either gets forced into a work camp or something (highly unlikely) or finds a job (still highly unlikely but more likely when considering that….). I’m guessing she found a job because if your ass is stuck in some kind of work camp…you ain’t updating Facebook. And if she’s updating Facebook, is she searching for help or just, ya know, updating Facebook. Changing her status and liking ninjas pages and whatnot (at press time she had not liked VSB’s fan page).

The thing that puzzles me about this news report and article is that it never states what ELSE these ninjas were doing to find her? Did her parents (divorced, not dead) and grandmother just figure she’d be back at some point and let that sh*t ride for a year and some change? Wasn’t nobody ridin’ ’round and gettin’ it anywhere? Am I to truly believe that this ninja didn’t update her FB page UNTIL she got to Colombia? That just doesn’t seem likely now does it?

I have a kid. You better believe that my arse is going to be ALL over the place on this one. I know Noriega. The real Noriega. He owes me a hundred favors and one of them would be to find my kid.

Let’s shift to the government for a moment, shall we? Lawd lawd lawd. Why for come you suck so much? So Jakadrien gets fingerprinted and then they never verify her identity? Of a teenager? Yeah she lied about her name. Speaking of that, how gotdamn unlucky do you have to be to hit the Colombia deportation lottery on picking a name? Sheesh. Here’s the bullsh*t. You do not get deported literally 10 minutes after you get busted. Nothing happens that quick. This was sheer ignorance and all around don’t-give-a-f*ck-ness at play. She says she’s such-n-such and we got a warrant. Put her on a plane, boss. Those prints came back and nobody looked at it. Fire everybody. Literally.

But then we get to Colombia. Somehow, she has the wherewithall to work and survive in Colombia and be in a good enough space to update her FB page? Her grandmother never said that her page was filled with pleas for help. I know kids say the darndest things these days but damn, there’s resourceful and then there’s the chick from Colombiana. Hmm…pun.

I’m still questioning the sheer validity of this article. Real spit. The missing report is real. I sawed that online. But if our government is actually deporting Americans…accidentally…why for come this isn’t national news. Thus far only this Dallas news station is reporting it and a slew of other folks on random ninja sites and some article on Clutch that did a slightly ratchet job of just recreating the Dallas story.

Apparently she’s in a detention center, pregnant, and the Colombian government won’t release her. Again…how come this ain’t on CNN. Or the Washington Post. Or the New York Times. Isn’t this kind of a big deal?

Like, in the pantheon of big damn deals, wouldn’t “U.S. Government deports one of its own to Colombia” kind of a game changer? It’s just me? No?

My people…what am I missing? Does this story strike you as odd as it strikes me?

Hell, do you even believe this?

Talk to me.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Peep Panama’s latest post over at Guyspeak: 50 Things I’d Rather Do Than Remove My Mother’s NuvaRing.

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  • MaxineShaw-like

    I just saw this on the Houston 10pm news….I’m dumbfounded.

  • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

    Man if this was a little white girl this would be getting Super Bowl numbers with ever single update on the news. My mind can’t even wrap itself around this. COLOMBIA? I mean even Colombians think (READ AS: ARE LYING AS MOTHERF**KERS BY SAYING) you can’t be Latino and Black. So why would they deport her? First thing and only thing that comes to mind is that this is government sponsored human trafficking.

    • KneeCee

      There’d be a song and striped ribbon in tribute…

    • Mo-VSS

      I was thinking the same thing about her race. I don’t call the race card much (read, ever) but had this have been someone resembling Natalee Halloway, you best believe that it would have been on Nancy Grace, Fox News, CBS, NBC, ABC and hell, even BET.

      • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        I IMMEDIATELY thought of Nancy Grace when I read Malik’s comment. She’d definitely have an ongoing special on this.

      • Shay K

        Absolutely. I always wonder how the media picks and chooses who’s missing stories they’re going to cover and why all the women have long blond hair. What about our missing children?

    • still thinking

      I agree with you Malik; Human Trafficking is the only thing that comes to my mind.

    • A Woman’s Eyes

      Absolutely!!!

      PJack, I literally went from reading this article to coming here to see if you talked about this.

      This speaks to how LITTLE WE VALUE BLACK GIRLS!!!! (and Black women)

    • poeticion

      Umm I’ve been to Colombia and they got ninjas too. Blacker than black but speaking straight up Spanish. I wish my people knew this. We’re worldwide out here. Know that!

    • LMNOP

      You know, this made me wonder how many other people have been mistakenly deported, and considering the mind-boggling f*cked-upness and ineptitude in this story, I’m thinking probably a lot, but I bet none of them were white. Because if a white american got mistakenly deported to somewhere much safer than Colombia, like Sweden or France or something, it would be big news

    • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

      LOL @ Malik. I know plenty of Colombians who don’t admit that 20% of their country is Black. When I come across them, I remind them that one of their country’s greatest singers is Joe Arroyo and he was as dark as they come. It’s not only Colombians, sadly; it’s most Latin Americans in general. I’m Dominican and the darkest Dominican will sit here and use the “one drop theory” to remind us that his/her great great great great great grandmother was a Spaniard lol.

    • http://www.yourchildsmother.com KMN

      What really kills me about this whole story and the comments towards the situation is the fact that we are talking about this girl as if she’s 24…shes FOURTEEN! Folks are saying that she wanted to stay in Columbia…yeah she WANTED to under the influence of someone else. She is a CHILD…and I honestly believe that she was brainwashed to BELIEVE that she wanted to stay there…

      There are reports that she is pregnant by an older man: pimpin ways have no language barrier. Convincing an emotionally hurt, runaway, THOUSANDS of miles away from her family, and hormonal due to pregnancy 14/15 year old ain’t hard…no matter what language you speak: English, Spanish, Ebonics, Vulcan…

      We say that we don’t care about our kids but the fact that folks are saying that it was COMPLETELY HER decision to WANT to stay doesn’t vibe right with me…these kids MIGHT act like they are grown but I don’t believe that she consciously made this decision w/o coercement from someone else (like the em effer that got her pregnant)…

      KMN

      • LMNOP

        Yeah, I think that based on her age and the little we know about this situation alone, there was obviously coercion and exploitation involved.

      • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        Maaaaaan, this entire comment is gospel, yo.

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        Thank you for saying this. I repeat… the lives of Black girls are not valued! She is a child.

    • Gentlewoman

      Brown US citizens and LPRs are negligently deported regularly — even children. There have been several court cases, including court of appeals cases, that went without media coverage over this very thing (and that, incidentally, let the gov’t off the hook).

  • quidditch424

    This story was on Gawker. Someone claiming to be an immigration attorney in the Texas area said the following:

    “Here’s what I know, or at least what I’d be allowed to say.
    1) She didn’t leave home because she was distraught over grandpa. She had a MUCH MUCH older boyfriend who was a drug dealer/gangbanger in Houston. After a fight with her family over the boyfriend, drugs, and how much school she’d been skipping, she left Dallas to be with the boyfriend. It wasn’t made clear to me whether he took her to Houston or she followed him there.

    2) There was some sort of fight/split with the boyfriend in Houston. No one is really sure right now if he’s the father of the baby or if she got pregnant in Colombia. The boyfriend is in his late-20s/early-30s, previously arrested on suspicion of homicide in the mid-aughts but later released. A real piece of shit, which maybe also explains why he has no compunctions about fucking a 14-year-old.

    3) The fake name she gave? That’s someone Jakadrien knows who worked as a drug mule/dealer in Houston. The real woman was an associate of the boyfriend. Jakadrien did not pick the name at random, but I don’t think Jakadrien knew that this woman had warrants either.

    4) Jakadrien did everything possible to avoid giving away her real identity. She was not only afraid of telling her family about the baby and that she had continued to see the drug-dealing boyfriend, but she’d also pissed off associates of the boyfriend in Houston who had some serious gang associations. Like cartel sort of gang associations. After she was picked up, she lied every single step of the way. Had she said at any point that she was a US citizen, she could have brought this whole thing to a halt.

    It’s still horrible that she’s pregnant and stuck in a Colombian prison, obviously. But this is the real story behind whatever the media ends up printing”

    That makes more sense to me than whats in the article.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      you’re right. it does. i wrote that joint at 3pm yesterday and was waiting for some new or some explanation to come about.

      at that point NO media outlets were talking about it. so im glad we got more details.

    • http://twitter.com/fixedwater fixedwater

      I have been no good since watching that video. Thanks for the extra details, because this story made absolutely no sense to me. Now I’m beginning to understand this a little better. But still I feel for this child no matter what she may or may not think she wants.

    • DQ

      “That makes more sense to me than whats in the article.”

      It certainly does and it’s more plausible than just ICE accidentally deporting someone who was fighting the deportation. This also fits my theory that somehow she wanted to get out of the country… being on the wrong side of gang/cartel affiliated people would be a pretty compelling motivation to get gone and stay gone.

    • LMNOP

      ThEven if this is the “real” story, she is a child, who was exploited by a “MUCH MUCH older” violent criminal, and justifiably scared for her life.

      I said this downthread already, but, however this plays out, there are a lot of people at fault in this situation. The 15 year old victim is not one of them.

      • DQ

        Alright. I have to ask. If (empahsis on IF) the account above is true, how exactly is she “the victim”? If (emphasis on IF) the story above is accurate she appears to be a victim of her own unbroken chain of bad decisions.

        While I would definitely say that everyone has some culpability to own up to, I would count her among that number. I guess I just don’t understand the suggestion to absolve her of bad decisions she made IF the story above is true. If that’s not what you’re suggesting I apologize in advance…

        In my opinion, a person who actively and repeatedly contributes to their calamity is NOT a victim… at least not in the sense that I view it. JMO

        • LMNOP

          Don’t worry, I don’t bite. much.

          Anyways, here is my thinking: yes, she does come across as less of an innocent victim in this version of events, but I worry how the media will spin it. Will it be young girl who is at a vulnerable point in her life gets involved with an older man who ends up being a violent criminal (and likely killer) tries to break things off, does something to upset her ex and his drug cartel associates, and then pregnant and terrified, (and 14!) she flees for her life, is taken into police custody, and if it is true that she never gave away her real identity, that can only be because being deported to colombia seemed better than whatever she was up against in TX.

          Honestly, I guess I just don’t really believe this version of events, but can see people wanting to believe it so they can blame Jakadrien for her own troubles and distance themselves from it.

          • DQ

            Media spin is definitely a devil, maybe not the devil, but at least a devil. Ironically though, I think the first half of their spin will be explaining why it’s just now that they’re reporting on this (just a hunch on my part). While I think your scenario is possible there are plenty of others scenarios too that do not require exploitation as the foundation for what happened. Young women act as foolishly as young men under the guise of love, or rebelling from authority, they are not hapless jellyfish simply floating where the current will take them. Let’s acknowledge what we already know – young people frequently make bad decisions. If her parents objected to her boyfriend, it’s likely that his nefarious tendencies were well known to the young lady and not a Jekyll and Hyde bait and switch that was only revealed to her once she got to Houston. Young women’s infatuation with bad boys is a well known phenomena. As to the trouble that prompted her departure (based on the account above) it could have been that she tried to break things off, or it’s possible that she got involved in his “trade”, messed up, and had to get on the first thing smoking traveling “far far away”. Young teen, limited resources, it’s possible she figured this represented the best way to get away from the cartel/boyfriend/family. So she declined to fight deportation or protest at all, because in the end it’s what she wanted.

            But all that assumes that the scenario above was true, there are other scenarios floating through out the thread that are different (and equally as plausible). I asked about this one specifically because, most of what seems likely and plausible would point to a person actively and repeating contributing to their situation; I can discern no victimization in said situation. Different situation? Perhaps. But not this one. Again. JMO.

        • Mechi

          Seriously?! She’s 14! How many boneheaded decisions did you make at that age? She obviously doesn’t have the best relationship with parents or family, so who knows where this CHILD is getting her advice from. Sit down with that foolishness.

    • http://www.standupandsayow.tumblr.com Nell

      Now that I’m reading this, it makes much, much more sense. She was clearly trying to run away from danger. Oh boy. A lot of people dropped the ball overall, and hopefully they can get this girl in protective custody.

    • xLadyTx

      Noooowwww it makes sense. That story had me lookin like Scooby Doo the whole time I was reading about it bc I just couldn’t make sense of it.

      It’s all good now.

    • Imperfect

      This makes the most sense. Most people don’t “make up” aliases.
      And my thinkin was that there was a guy involved too. Maybe he was tryin to get her to Columbia. Havin an older, drug dealin, gang bangin boyfriend would explain how a year had passed and she was still survivin. Also speaks to the fact that she was caught stealin.

      I was just looking at the Huffington Post and they were posting some of her FB stats talkin about how she was tryin to get some money to go to Barbados or Mexico (why not to go home?) and also that she was back with the guy who had hurt her in the past…
      Still baffled that her parents don’t appear as active in her search tho, makes me believe they knew where she was, maybe they were tired of fightin, but I don’t doubt they knew where she was goin to when she left.

      This explains a lot, but still a whole lotta holes. However, I must admit, I am struggling with sympathizin with this girl. Because even as a child, she knew better. She chose her path, regardless the influences. And I don’t mean that to excuse the boyfriend or even the ICE, but she could have at any moment chose to come clean and things would’ve been uncomfortable for a while, but that’s what happens when you choose to be a liar. As more information comes to light, maybe my opinions will change, but as of right now…her naiveity doesn’t get her a pass. She was/is old enough to know better

  • KneeCee

    (at press time she had not liked VSB’s fan page). <—You are SO wrong for that…and I love you for it.

    • Chanelle

      “at press time she had not liked VSB’s fan page”
      lmao! This story is unfortunate but I laughed at least a good 5 minutes over this line

    • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      LOL, yeah that was a great line. Props and whatnot.

  • k

    I’m wondering if she got caught up in human trafficking. You know girls her age are always getting “inducted.”

  • http://ladyngo.blogspot.com Lady Ngo

    I read the article while i was at work earlier and when i tell you i was of no use to anyone for a good 20 minutes…this nonsense completely fried my brain. I’m still trying to put 2 and 2 together on it. It really doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. Forget all the other bullshiggity with this story…what I really want to know is how do you deport someone based off of a name alone?!? IDK what the name she gave was but i’m sure the person that ICE was looking for is not the only person with that name.

    • A Woman’s Eyes

      Immigration doesn’t give a f*ck about people. These fools probably believed they were doing their job and who gives a f*ck.

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        Free my comment please despite the profanity.

    • LMNOP

      And also, if she just randomly picked this name, it seems like its probably a relatively common name… and nobody was like hey wait a minute, she kind of looks like she might be a CHILD.

  • hehe

    This is the weirdest story I’ve heard abt in a while. This gov’t is fu€k up. Also I need to understand how does she have a fb AND a twitter account?

    • AfroPetite

      wait what? FB and Twitter? But no one knew where this girl was for 365 damb days?!

    • A Woman’s Eyes

      Anyone can set this up on their cellphone. And with a cellphone she could’ve been found.

      But the world does not value Black girls.

    • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      Yup! The fact that she was so trackable coupled with how quickly and haphazardly she was deported makes this story extra WTF-esque.

  • Vasha

    The article does seems fishy, and I do not know what to believe. However, it is ironnic that age was sent to Columbia speaking no Spanish, but they speaks English there, and before she got deported did she not ask for a phone call to telephone her grandmother who seem like the only one looking for her or her divorced parents. Plus, who is she pregnant for? Finally, where did she get that person’s name from, and did she know they were here illegally?

  • Iamnotakata

    Ummm I give this a big SMH & WTF!!! Yeah this definitely confirms I need to get the f*ck out of Houston before they mistakenly deport my a*s…who does that??? I have so much to say that I can’t type fast enough….and …why is this girl now preggers? And who is her baby daddy? And …….I need to sit and marinate and come back because I am truly perplexed!!

    • LuckBALady

      Yes, you’ve asked my questions: she’s now PREGNANT????? And the father is??????? I am so confused by alla dis.

    • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      This story just KEEPS getting more and more…. O_O

  • AfroPetite

    Clearly her parents didn’t care about here from Day 1 by naming her Jakadrien, so of course they weren’t going to be concerned after she didn’t come home for a year -__- I have no clue as to how officials let her slip through the cracks like that though. For starters, she looks all of 12 years old in those pictures so how did they mistake her for a 22 year old?! I mean, I suppose some racist jerkoff could determine that she’s “Colombian” based on the strength of her light complexion (but even then that’s a reach). Even so, did she not speak up at any point to contest that fake arse name she gave?! I’ono…..this whole story is unfortunate.

    • xLadyTx

      “Clearly her parents didn’t care about here from Day 1 by naming her Jakadrien…”

      I swear I had that same thought within the first 13 secs of reading it. My mind couldn’t get past that lol

      • AfroPetite

        Here are the pronunciations I went through before watching the video to hear the correct pronunciation.

        Jay-kuh-dree-in
        Juh-ah-kuh-dree-in
        Juh-kuh-dree-in

        Needless to say I failed miserably in my attempts.

        • xLadyTx

          Lmao. It took me a few tries to get it right too. Our ppl need to do better with these names!

        • http://ladyngo.blogspot.com Lady Ngo

          LOL, i just figured her parents names were something akin to Jake and Adrienne and then voila…you know how SOME folks do.

          • KneeCee

            Get out of my head!!

          • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

            That’s probably just what it was too! Actually I like the way it sounds. It took be a minute to figure how the hell to pronounce it but I think it has a cool ring to it…

          • LMNOP

            Yeah that’s what I figured too. More importantly though, that is a VERY American sounding name, and if they had looked it up it wouldn’t have been too very hard to figure out that she was 14 and missing…

        • http://www.yourchildsmother.com KMN

          That’s nothing…I had a student and her name was Quazalarquien.

          Marinate on that ish.

          For reals…

          Yep.

          Kwa-zuh-lar-qwee-en.

          She called herself Quasi.

          Took us six months SIX MONTHS to teach her how to PRONOUNCE her name. It was MAY before she could SPELL that ish. We get out of school in JUNE in WI…that was a very difficult year.

          Folks wonder why I stopped teaching.

          Oh and her momma’s name…waaaaaaaaait for it>>>>>>>MARY.

          DAHELL you get QUAZALARQUIEN from MARY…EFFIN MARY.

          I hate Mary, the name Quazalarquien, Scott Walker, and the state of Wisconsin with all of my heart.

          Eff it

          KMN

          • AfroPetite

            (0_o) Quasi?

            My name is “different” but it isn’t so far out that people don’t even know how to begin to pronounce it. I feel so sorry for some of these kids out here, especially children born to celebrities.

            • http://www.yourchildsmother.com KMN

              Tell me about it! I had reservations about giving MiniMe Swahili/Nigerian name because I didn’t want folks in the future to “label” her as “ghetto” based on her traditional names…that’s why I gave her my white (and i mean as snow) first name as a secondary middle name so she can name switch…just it case.
              That’s an effing shame…I can’t even give my child a name that would (should) have been my name for fear of her being completely discriminated against because of it. Not only do we not value our girls/women/XX we don’t value our heritage and history. And we don’t protect either one.

              KMN

              • LMNOP

                the truth.com

          • xLadyTx

            I tried and I can’t. I just…can’t.

            It’ll take ME 6 mos to learn to pronounce that ish. MARY should be ashamed!

          • LuckBALady

            Sweet, sweet baby Jesus

          • Badgerbrownie

            Your comment had me dying! I’m a student @ UW. I tutor kids and I have 2 keep a straight face when I first meet them. “your name is what?!” #recallwalker

        • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

          I pronounced it “CorporateAmericaGoneRejectHer”

          • http://www.yourchildsmother.com KMN

            “CorporateAmericaGoneRejectHer”
            LMAO this is it ALL DAY

            KMN

      • Mo-VSS

        HOW…how do you pronounce that? I read that and was like, “uhm…yeah…so…yeah” LOL

    • Sunshine_smiles

      Her name is tragic.

    • Dom

      My BFF & I go back and forth texting the most ridamdiculous names we hear on a daily. Jakadrian was the first effedup name of 2012.

      The worst name of 2011 was Owaiian Jones. SMH

      • xLadyTx

        O-what? Like “Hawaiian”, just with an O? Lawd, WHY!

      • http://iamyourpeople.com/ I Am Your People

        I pray this isn’t true – but someone posted on Twitter that her brother is a doctor and just delivered Y’all-Jealous Jones *Fantasia ugly cry*

        • ThisIshRightHere

          y’oure not even punctuating right! At least put the apostrophe after the “a.” Goodness. *sobs softly*

          • ThisIshRightHere

            know what? I take it back. The apostrophe is placed correctly. I’m still sobbing. But at least lil baby Y’all-Jealous is stylin on them hoes.

          • LMNOP

            You know, I think in “special” cases like that, the state should cover the cost of a name change.

        • AfroPetite

          -__- Folks want to get all up in arms about the government interfering with people naming their children but sh** like this is why I can’t even be mad about them wanting to.

          I know a female back home named Crayola, not something I’d pick but do you. However, Y’all-Jealous Jones?! No ma’am!

      • http://wewereninjas.wordpress.com Jay

        LMAO… me and my girl do the same thing. Just text her about a girl who works at our local Family Dollar named Shermonica…

    • A Woman’s Eyes

      That’s so not cool — given that parents who give their children creatively unusual names believe otherwise — and give how upset her family seems to be about her disappearance.

      • LMNOP

        Agreed. I think the uniqueness of her name is relevant though, because how many Jakadriens went missing in Houston that year???? Wouldn’t it have been pretty easy to confirm her real identity?
        I hope to god people get fired over this.
        And that they go home to their own children and UNDERSTAND how awful what they did was, and really try to become better, more compassionate human beings.

        • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

          “I think the uniqueness of her name is relevant though, because how many Jakadriens went missing in Houston that year????”

          EXACTLY.

      • AfroPetite

        While everything you said is true, I’m going to go out on a limb and assume you wouldn’t name your daughter something like that.

        I’m fully aware her family is concerned for her safe return but it doesn’t take away from the fact that her name, as unique as it is, is one of those names which will ultimately have some sort of negative stereotype attached to it.

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          You are right about all of the above– I am just pissed that all this happened to her when I commented on her name. My apologies. I would never name my child such a name.

          I truly hope that she knows who in her family is protective of her. Her grandma sounds torn up about this.

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