in august of 2008, p blessed the vsb pulpit with wlsg, an entry which provided a definition for “light skinned points”
Light-skinned point(s). noun. 1) the additional attention that fairer skinned light skinned women receive over their darker-skinneded sisters whether or not their face actually warrants any attention at all. 2) the assumed increase in attractiveness laid before melanin deficient black women…whether or not their face actually warrants any attention at all.
***for those still unclear, just think christine beatty.***
yet, although this term gets the most mileage, its far from the only time black people assign “points”, the possession of an attribute or characteristic that makes a person seem much, much more desirable than they really should be.
here’s 10 more.
1. dark-skinned black male points
single-handedly responsible for the popularity of wesley snipes, taye diggs, and at least two of them 112 n*ggas
2. “she looks good for her age” points
a few years ago i had a 40-something colleague who all of the older (and younger) male teachers were sweating, as well as a few of the students, who’d always remark “damn. if she looks like that now, imagine how fine she was at 25″. i agreed, until i saw a 20 year old yearbook picture of her, and was shocked to see that she looked exactly the same. at 25, she looked like a really good looking 47 year old.
basically, just imagine what’s currently happening to jasmine guy, only the exact opposite
3. poet points
i originally was going to just make it “black male poet points” until i remembered that female poets and spoken word performers have their audiences in a certain trance as well. seriously, if you’re a black spoken word artist and you still can’t get any kind of romantic rhythm, maybe sex with live humans just isn’t in the cards for you now, or ever
4. big, ummmm, “ego” points
put it this way, there’s a reason why at least 15 percent of the cats in every hood have never bothered to get drivers licenses
5. “good” hair points
for many black men, the allure of the “good” hair is just as strong if not stronger than the light skinneded points. seriously, i’ve seen n*ggas do back flips for minotaurs in pumas just because they could imagine playing in their hair
6. “thick for a white girl” points
***cutting and pasting the sentences underneath “good hair points”, and, for those who doubt the power of thick for a white girl points, reminding them of the hood popularity of jenny von oy, despite her strong facededness***
7. black male blogger points
***pleading the fif***
8. “shes a well-adjusted freak” points
because of the peculiar mammy/madonna/whore complex that affects how the black community regards our women, orgasmic women who aren’t sluts but actually get great pleasure out of having jungle monkey matrix sex (and aren’t the least bit shy about admitting it) are at a premium, even if lookswise they happen to be more john kerry than kerry washington.
9. black guy who only dates black women points
if “great, foolproof game” were “getting punked out of your own city“, “letting a group of black women know that you only date black women” would be “braylon freakin edwards”
10. foreign accent points
n*ggas love nan’s (non-american nigg*s) with “exotic” accents more than midgets love ikea. seriously, if you’re a black man or woman who’s having trouble dating, just barricade yourself in your apartment with tapes of hugh grant or penelope cruz for a month and practice sounding exactly like them.
thats it for now.
people of vsb.com, did i miss anything?
are there any other “points” out there that you’ve seen successfully affect someone’s desirability? do you personally possess any “points” and, have you ever been “influenced” by an otherwise unattractive point haver?
the carpet is yours.
—the champ
Ok LMAO @ the “Black male blogger” points. I’ve definitely heard stories of eGroupies sending their nekkid pics to bloggers. One of my friends that blogs got women leaving comments on his page that have nothing to do w/ his post.
Woman: What do you do?
Man: I blog
Woman: *drops trou*
iCan’t.
@Thuggie Luvvie, while i won’t speak on any specifics, there are definitely a lot of points given for the black man who’s blogging. i guess there’s something about a literate black man who can use a CMS that makes chicks
send nudey picsshow up at your front door even though you’ve never given them your address or real nameproposeclaim that you’re engaged when you’ve only met oncekeep reading.@Thuggie Luvvie,
I’ve definitely heard stories of eGroupies sending their nekkid pics to bloggers
i havent. and by “i havent” i mean “no comment”
man you forgot
you got good credit points…that shyt is universal, black, white, albino, fat, skinny, half man/half woman…all can get some play with some good credit!
and good job points
extra points if said job is for the govt and you got a fi health and dental plan…especially in these TET’s… Im trying to get a crown, a root canal and a breast reduction…LOL
@shay_d_lady, I think that good credit is twice the points now with the recession and all.
@SaneN85, Well double me up…Excellent credit around these parts!!!
@shay_d_lady, You ain’t never lied about these points.
@shay_d_lady,
you got good credit points
LOL! I think there is an age requirement for this. Ain’t nobody thinking about credit until you start seeing yourself wanting to buy a house. I’m sure this should be a concern for a 25 year old but for most, it’s not.
@shay_d_lady, no bull on the credit. at one point i thought about walking around with a tshirt that said, “black man with good credit”
but i realized i wasn’t ready for that responsibility…
@shay_d_lady,
man you forgot
you got good credit points…that shyt is universal, black, white, albino, fat, skinny, half man/half woman…all can get some play with some good credit!
good points and sh*t
@The Champ,
Son I can’t tell you how much the good credit thing works. Shit I leave my credit report laying around at home just to get my number to come up in convo. Straight Black man with no kids AND 816 credit rating…..I LOVE LIFE!
Oh and on the topic of “foreign accent” points, I agree. Black men with British accents get automatic points. See: Idris Elba. He’d get it many ways, for many days. Yes he’s fine, but that accent adds this element that just makes me wanna do things that will shame my ancestors.
iScream. uScream. We all scream for HoSh*t for accents!
Giggity giggity. *pelvic thrust*
@Thuggie Luvvie, stop yourself. just. stop.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
co-signing the Idris Elba. he dark skinned AND got the accent. I loooove it
@Thuggie Luvvie, Well i just learned something new…i didn’t know he had an accent.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
I heart your whole comment for the Family Guy Quagmire Reference HEART!
@Thuggie Luvvie,
you know, i was wondering if it worked for black women with british accents (like corrine bailey rae) as well. i cant use her as an example though, because she could sound like al pacino in “scent of a woman” and i’d still think she was hot
@Thuggie Luvvie,
Chicks with foreign accents are cool until the novelty wears off (quickly) and you get tired of asking them to repeat themselves. That is if one wishes to actually converse with her.
Trust, I will watch an ugly a** ninja reading the dictionary, if he had an accent.
As someone who has had men tell me exactly how many points I get simply for being light-skinned and having good hair, I don’t really think it’s a compliment. Why should I be getting points for something I had no control over, and really, what if I was darker and didn’t have “good hair”? It’s coo if you have a point system, just don’t tell me about it. One MoFo actually kept me updated on my getting and losing points. Yeah, he wasn’t around long.
@SaneN85, One MoFo actually kept me updated on my getting and losing points. Yeah, he wasn’t around long.
but in retrospect, you have to see the comedy in that.
@Panama Jackson,
I wouldve liked to date him, just so I could tell the stories later.
@SaneN85,
Trust, I will watch an ugly a** ninja reading the dictionary, if he had an accent.
lol, so you’d watch a channel that featured nothing but 24 hour footage of shabba ranks reading the world book?
@The Champ,
*snorts*
@The Champ, damn, encyclopedia companies must be way out of business now.
@The Champ, you weren’t actually supposed to call me out on that.
HIcotton here.
Wealth points spend like currency. New money!
Ex: ugly dudes like R.Simmons and Jay Z and Letterman
Ex: Oprah
Points for power are not as spendy.
Ex: Barack is just average and will remain so for the duration.
Ex: Michele’s just average. So is Condi. ***shrug***
Black men get more points for being educated than do comparably educated black women.
@inHIcotton,
yaasssssss. money points!
@inHIcotton, Black men get more points for being educated than do comparably educated black women.
this makes sense though…be real, most folks think that Black men can’t read. so when you meet one that can read and who also speaks so well it’s almost like a shock to the system.
not that i think that way, but i went to college with a lot of smart dumb ninjas. i see how it can be a welcome surprise.
@Panama Jackson, not that i think that way, but i went to college with a lot of smart dumb ninjas.
lol..i say that all the time ‘educated people are some of the dumbest i know.’ lol
@Smiley Face,
Or like my Grandma says “They got all them book smarts and no common sense”.
*giggling*
@miss t-lee,
LMAO!! Exactly!
@inHIcotton,
if i had to rank the points for a guy, wealth points would be 1st, power points 2nd, and “sympathy because he has a small wang” points would be 3652nd
@The Champ,
“sympathy because he has a small wang” points would be 3652nd
Well, you would know. Right, Champ?
@Me fail english?,
right deez
@inHIcotton,
Black men get more points for being educated than do comparably educated black women.
Not because we don’t like our sisters educated, but because so many turn up the snotball as they throw their credentials, and especially their sorority, in your face. La Schmoove, booch, you ain’t got nothin’ to prove.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Fu Schnickens references equal extra points. Matter of fact, any rap reference pre-dating ’98 is points.
Ok I’m lying. It’s not points so much as it makes me smile.
@Me fail english?,
Yeah…I wasn’t about to let him slide on that La Schmoove ish…
*daps*
@Me fail english? and miss t-lee, I got a billion of them, all effortlessly part of the daily repertoire….
Stop the internet presses!
You mean I could’ve gotten points for blogging all this time? I’m mad I’m learning about this like four
yearsseconds too late…*dusts off Bolivion.net*
I’ve given women points for great teeth. I think smiles are underrated in this “I have to keep the screwface on so thirsty ninjas don’t run up on me 24-7
even though most of them do anyway” kind of world.@Maximillian,
HMM. I give men points for nice teeth too. Get outta my head!!
@Maximillian,
True true. You have to keep a screwface or else people will take you for a nice pushover fool. esp in Atlanta a big bright smile is an open invitation for constant harassing and panhandling! I would def like to show off my pretty teeth more though, but I would like to be left alone most days with only my ipod to keep me company. lol
@Blue Skyez,
“You have to keep a screwface or else people will take you for a nice pushover fool. ”
Exactly. I live in semi-sketch neighborhood. Can’t have folks thinking I’m nice…lol
@Maximillian,
“I’ve given women points for great teeth. I think smiles are underrated..”
i promise i’ve given soo many points for this right here.
You write the truth.
I agree with the person above, good credit points is coming to be important in my old age.
other ridiculous but important points i am noticing in my old age:
good job points. he got a good job with benefits????? he’s golden.
no baby mama points: nobody wants to deal with the crazy baby mama.
@Liz,
“good job points. he got a good job with benefits????? he’s golden. ”
Yep.
@Liz,
You write the truth.
thanks, liz
@Liz,
no baby mama points: nobody wants to deal with the crazy baby mama.
Mine is “maximum one child which must be under 10″ points. When they’re over 10, they’re obnoxious. And when there’s 2 or more, the mama’s usually in too deep for my tastes. Though I might soon amend that to “maximum two, must be under 10 with the same father” points. I’m not tryna be anyone’s third “baby daddy”…
Accents earn points til you get used to it.I did a short semester in London and the accents were cute at first but I was so over it by the end.
Other points..
- Being a good father
- Men who are over 6’2 – Most women regardless of their height want a tall man
- Being from Brazil or other exotic countries
- Men who are active in the
community.
@Leila, Hey hey…why u got to get points for being tall??? What about us short aka vertically challenged brothers??? Do we get minus points or something…if so, SMH!!!!
@NiazDad, enjoying the sandbox..,
How short is short?
Not minus no..but I’m 5’2′ (on a good day) so ifn i’m looking you in the eye..no bueno
@Smiley Face, Well i am only 5’4…so i guess i am good…u still would have to look up a lil bit to look me “straight” in the eyes…
I’m going to get to the topic at hand: but i need my NYC peep’s help…….
Any suggestion on a really nice restaurant to have dinner in the Harlem or Manhattan?
@JamaicanGirl,
What kinda food do you eat? I just had a really good steak at Primehouse (same people that own Dos Caminos) on 27th & Park.
There’s also Old Homestead down…somewhere downtown, there’s only one in NYC.
City Crab is nice seafood Park & ….somewhere above Union Square.
@JamaicanGirl,
Any suggestion on a really nice restaurant to have dinner in the Harlem or Manhattan?
are there chick fil a’s in harlem?
@The Champ,
Chick-fil-a is repulsive.
Chicken sandwiches wit pickles? Pickles?
Kill urself.
Now u need to get u sum wes indies food.
@The Hallway,
The diabetic coma lemonade goes hard though…lol
@miss t-lee,
I like Chik-fil-A. I dont know if/where they are up here tho.
@The Champ,
There aren’t! The only Chick Fil A in NYC is in a cafeteria @ NYU….trust me I spent a summer searching for that magickal chicken sandwich.
P.S. west indian food is good, but if you hate chick fil a you should seriously seek counseling. You can’t be sane.
HOw about? She Know When to Shut the F^ck Up Points
@The Hallway, lmao.
@The Hallway, ROFL..
@The Hallway, AKA points that are given out very few and far between or “the ever elusive”
@The Hallway,
Oh yessss!!!
@The Hallway,
Mosque. Church. Tabernacle. Synagogue.
@The Hallway,
LOL
I see The Hallway won Comment Of The Day already….