Lists, Theory & Essay

privilege like us

yesterday’s discussion about privilege (or lack thereof) sparked an idea in my head, perfectly articulated by vsb.com regular v.e.g.

“I wonder what privileges VSBers would say they get…i.e. tall man privilege, skinny girl privilege. etc.??? Would be an interesting exercise to have folks list what they perceive to be their privileges. OR if they feel like they DON’T benefit from them at all.”

one of the main themes i tried to convey yesterday was the fact that pretty much everybody benefits from some sort of privilege, whether you admit to it or not. whether its something as simple as dimples and perfect pearly whites that allow you to immediately charm people or the fact that you’re the only black in the hr department at work, basically insuring that you’ll never, ever, ever get fired from your job, the majority of us have at least one subtle or obvious advantage over most other people that we use to our benefit, including the champ himself.

to prove my point, here’s a short list of the champs perceived privileges.

1. the dark-brown skinned black guy privilege…which means that my skin is dark enough to never have my “blackness” or masculinity questioned, but not so dark that it’s been the object of ridicule. in recent years, i’ve also found that i’m tall and dark enough to scare unsuspecting 2520′s away with a stanley-esque glare if i want to keep the seat next to me open on the bus, but, with my glasses and attache, still non-threatening enough to be the black guy lost white women ask for orgasms directions

did i stutter???

did i stutter???

2. the black male former english teacher privilege…which insures that, regardless of how hard things are economically, unless i’m caught on rude.com akon-ing keke palmer, i’ll always be able to get a job somewhere teaching english. sh*t, at this point, i might as well put “quota filler” on my resume instead of my name

3. the educated and not under-employed male (**knocking on wood**) in the burgh privilege…lets just say that theres a reason why i haven’t moved out of the cave to the beltway or atlanta. like marlo says, “noone f*cks with me now“.

4. the ball-player with a brain privilege…an advantage i especially enjoyed in college, when being able to dribble a basketball and put more than three sentences together without slobbering kept the nights of dry nuts to a minimum, a dynamic which eventually led to the…

...5. the black male blogging privilege, which i choose not to expound upon because i actually want people to continue to frequent the site, lol. i plead the fif and sh*t

these are just a few of mine. what are yours?

–the champ

Filed Under: ,
Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • http://nextbigthing.blogsome.com Hostess

    I feel like I get some version of your 1-4. I was told I got a job because I was HAWT. Which brings me to my list…

    1) The non-threatening priv: I’m light enough, thin enough, educated enough, that I don’t immediately scare white folks. White men opening want to be seen in public (i.e. at work functions) with me. I never get followed at stores. People assume I can afford shyt.

    2) They not-quite-dark-brown-eyes Priv: My eyes are light enough that they aren’t regular dark brown. But not so light that other women think I think I’m all that. They just light enough so that if you pay attention, or you catch em in the sun, men will classify them as some unique feature/added bonus. I didn’t realize this shyt until I was well into adulthood.

    3) The Childless Priv: Man! If I had a dollar for everyone who found out I was raised in Detroit and didn’t have kids out of wedlock, I’d have enough money to pay for the bail out–but I wouldn’t give them a dime.

    4) The short priv: I can date damn near anyone because most men are taller than me. And I can wear my fancy shoes with nearly anyone because even with my highest, I’m, at best, a man’s exact height–never taller.

    5) The Frail Looking Priv: I don’t lift shyt. I don’t look like I can. Nor do I pretend to be able to. Keep in mind, I’m not actually skinny by my standards but I am smaller than the average woman and definitely the average woman within my age range.

    6) The Nerd Priv: It easy to wow people with some random shyt I remember from HS science/math. All I need to do is throw out words like paramecium, tangent, and multiplicative inverse and BAM, I’m a genius!

    It’s late. I will think of more later.

    • http://nextbigthing.blogspot.com Hostess

      7) The you must be part Ethiopian Priv: I
      can get discounted & free parking in DC–sometime.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “The non-threatening priv”

      this can be a gift and a curse and sh*t

      • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

        I think I have the ‘non-threatening’ priv thing on lock.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          yeah, me too. i’ve mastered the non-threatening thing. little white toddlers ask me for candy and wave at me at Target and their mothers aren’t scared. this bothers me.

          • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

            thats cute P, now how many squirrels did you have to kick to recement your hoodness.

            • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

              at least 12. and one has to be a black squirrel.

              • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

                is there such thing as a black squirrel? Is that a mythical creature? I like to stay on these type of things.

              • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

                There are black squirrels (though I wonder if they are just dirty) and white/albino squirrels. In downstate IL white squirrels are a ‘treasure’…traffic stops if one is in the road b/c you are not allowed to hit one with your car.

              • Intellectual Hedonist

                “one has to be a black squirrel”
                so do you have to go onto Howard’s campus and kick it with the black squirrels? That is the only place I have ever seen them. I even took pictures of them so no one would say that I didn’t see them.

              • V Renee

                Kent state has Black squirrels too. When I visited the campus, I wanted to take one home with me. Too bad me and squirrels have a weird relationship. It’s more like a love/hate one. Sometimes they want to chase me, other times they’re tapping at my window trying to see what Im up to.

              • PBG

                The first place I ever saw a black squirrel was on Howard’s campus as a teenager ( I wasn’t being “fast” looking for college boys…I was in Upward Bound). Dang black squirrel scared the beans out of me, but I did agree w/his decision to come to an HBCU.

                I read in the Washington Post not too long ago about black squirrels being given as a gift to the National Zoo many years back, but then some of them got out and have slowly migrated through the city. I saw one around the corner from my house this summer. I live a couple of blocks away from Howard, so I guess they’re still runnin’ thangs over there.

              • 8th Wonder

                They’re certainly alive and well on Maryland’s campus.

                Those squirrels are gangsta.

              • Swamii

                Lots of black squirrels in Chicago, especially the parks down near the lake.

              • Intellectual Hedonist

                “I read in the Washington Post not too long ago about black squirrels being given as a gift to the National Zoo many years back, but then some of them got out and have slowly migrated through the city”

                Wait are you telling me those squirrels are ESCAPED squirrels and are now mixing with the races of other pure squirrels?

                LMAO!!!!

              • http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=747670340&ref=name PBG

                @ IH
                Yep, that’s it exactly. Rogue black squirrels broke out of the zoo waaay back when and now their descendants are running all through NW DC. Soaking up knowledge n’ shyt over @ Howard.

              • hey.

                Kick Lil’ Wayne. He classfies as a black squirrel.

              • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

                @ hey. you have just offended black squirrels everywhere.

      • http://nextbigthing.blogsome.com Hostess

        How is it ever a curse?? I probably could get away with stealing. That’s how non-threatening I appear to be.

        • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant

          if youre a guy its a curse cause there is always some guy out there that will do some a$$hole thing to you cause he knows or assumes you cant kick his a$$ i.e. flirt with your woman while you standing next to her or step on your new white shoes without begging for forgiveness. I’m glad I have the default mean mug and awesome girth. People fear my wrath.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “How is it ever a curse?? I probably could get away with stealing. That’s how non-threatening I appear to be.”

          sometimes you wanna be threatening and sh*t without having to try. for instance: when shopping at sneaker villa or killing spiders

    • miss t-lee

      “3) The Childless Priv:.”

      I’m enjoying the hell outta this priv.

      • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

        Me too! Especially being male at 31. However, I do get the side eye sometimes because of it.

        • miss t-lee

          Yeah a few of my guy friends have told me this as well. It’s good to know that the ladies aren’t getting all the side eyes for being childless and 30.

          • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

            When you are 23 and childless people congratulate you. When you are 33 and childless folks secretly and not so secretly wonder what’s wrong with you.

            • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

              “When you are 33 and childless folks secretly and not so secretly wonder what’s wrong with you.”

              …so true.

            • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

              and add in unmarried, and people think you are some sort of spinster…. and they never even ask if you want kids in the first place, all these children running around in the world me not popping one out is not going to change the time-space continium..

              • http://nextbigthing.blogsome.com Hostess

                Naturally Alise: Where do you live?? In the DMV, it’s not uncommon for folks to be unmarried and childless well into their 30′s. But then again, we are all about the extended adolescence here too.

              • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

                I live in Raleigh, NC…. I hardly know anyone over 25 without kids besides my immediate circle

              • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

                In Chicago and N.O., both places I call home, people are always asking “when are you going to have a baby?” My 11 yr old nephew recently asked me this…

              • Intellectual Hedonist

                Well in Latino culture it is an anomaly, our people tend to be the most fertile (it’s part of our plan to take over the world), so at 37 not married and no children, no one gives me the side eye (cause they scared to ask me). But I know they be asking my mom, she tells them I’m still having fun. She’s right

              • miss t-lee

                “sort of spinster”

                I love this term. When I turned 29 this was my theme. I’m bringing spinster back…lol

              • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

                “Well in Latino culture it is an anomaly, our people tend to be the most fertile”

                you’re right. you can get a puerto rican pregnant by just kissing her

              • 8th Wonder

                Is this a first hand testimony, Champers?

              • Intellectual Hedonist

                @ Champ~ you been kissin Puerto Rican’s have you?

            • http://nextbigthing.blogsome.com Hostess

              See, I see the opposite. If you are a woman and childless between 30 and 35, the women who do have kids admire you and want to be you. Then men 30-40 also want you because you’re not coming with any extras. Sure they might think you’re crazy. But they think all women are crazy. It’s better to deal with a childless crazy broad than one with kids. Or so I’ve been told.

              • Jen

                This is an interesting and unique perspective. Most women I know who are 30 – 35 and unmarried with no children are scrambling to find husbands, and most women I know who are that age feel sorry for their friends who are still unattached. I think this is mostly because if you are unmarried and childless at that age, then you have to seriously start considering a life with no children.

                If you DON’T WANT CHILDREN, I do think it must be a very enjoyable thing to be at an age when you are settled and stable and still young and able to pick up and go. It is something that very few women are ever able to enjoy.

              • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant

                thats truf.

              • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

                “I think this is mostly because if you are unmarried and childless at that age, then you have to seriously start considering a life with no children.”

                Every woman on my mom’s side of the family had a child/got pregnant (there is a difference…) in their 40s. I am hoping this trait has passed on to me.

              • Jen

                @ V.E.G. – my mom got married at 33 and had me exactly nine months later. She had my sister at 39. Before she got married, she held jobs that she enjoyed, but weren’t as lucrative as those she held after we were born (she was once a park ranger and recreational therapist). She got to be flighty and go through stages (she once gave up cars for a year and rode her bike everywhere). But, because it was just her, she also got to blow her money on designer foolishness, concerts and parties and dedicate exorbitant amounts of her time to her “pet causes” (veterans, children, etc.).

                Like I said…the Good Life.

                But, yeah…it doesn’t work out for everyone like that. I have an aunt who spent over 200k and went through four failed pregnancies because she didn’t get married/start trying to have children til her mid-thirties. She is now in her early forties and has three beautiful children, but she went through a LOT to have them.

              • PBG

                Admire you, yes. Want to be you? Ummm…no. At least not me.

                I could not IMAGINE being 35 with new baby. I think a LOT about the choices I made in becoming a Mommy. I don’t think I would’ve any better at it older than I was younger. The whole parent thing is something you adapt to when it happens (whenever happens). There is no preparation you can really do for it.

                And as far as women who are in their 30′s and are still w/out children, I say go for it. Everything works out exactly the way its supposed to work out. I never think anything is “wrong”. I just think those women just made certain choices for themselves. Nothing wrong w/that at all.

              • Intellectual Hedonist

                my 40 year old former roommate just gave birth on Tuesday to a beautiful baby boy. Healthy as can be, the both of them

              • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

                “It’s better to deal with a childless crazy broad than one with kids. Or so I’ve been told.”

                this is true

              • http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=747670340&ref=name PBG

                Gem, IH and Shatani…

                Trust me, I do not recommend this “Single Parent” crap to ANYBODY. As hard as you all have worked to accomplish all that you have up until now, you haven’t seen a thing until you try to raise some kids. And doing it alone ain’t no bytch, I promise you!

                I made the very conscious decision to do it (motherhood) this way after my dear Mother told me some very weird things back in 1989 concerning relationships and marriage with black men. We had a long talk about it about 10 years ago and she apologized to me, not knowing how much her words had affected me.

                But ummm, anyway…yeah. Get married.

            • Gem of the Ocean

              i get this look from people (native “pixburgers”) i go to church with and i’m in my mid-20s. which apparently is too old to not have at least one kid. “but i’m not married”–blank stares. “i’m still in school”–blank stares. “i’m waiting to move back closer to home so my mom can help me raise my kids”–ohhhhhhh ok that makes sense.

              • Intellectual Hedonist

                “i’m waiting to move back closer to home so my mom can help me raise my kids”

                LOL!!!

              • Jen

                *cries for her people*

              • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

                my mother has been talkin about her six grandbabies all my doggone life! i keep asking her if i have a long lost sibling that i dont know about, cuz i have no idea where shes gettin all these kids from.

                i find it troublesome that my mother and my great aunt and nem are all like, when you gonna give us a grandbaby? and im like, uh…as soon as you find me a suitable husband! its like nobody is even thinkin about husbands and fathers and actual families anymore….its sad!

              • http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=747670340&ref=name PBG

                Shatani, there is no husband/father in OUR home.

                Are your suggesting that we are not an “actually family”?

                Because sometimes, most days…we do slip up and feel a lil’ family-ish. I think it may be all that hugging and talking and riding public transportation together we do. And, we tend to be quite happy.

              • Gem of the Ocean

                i follow the chris rock school of thought: “you can do it without a man but that don’t mean it’s to be done.” don’t get it twisted, i give hella props to single mothers who hold down their households–like PBG. but i was raised by both my parents who lived under the same roof and were happily married thus wonderfully raising The Gem you see [read] before you. so offspring will only come from this womb when (God willing) i’m happily married.

              • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

                “Are your suggesting that we are not an “actually family”? ”

                nah, girl thats not what i meant. i was talking of the traditional nuclear family (which consists of mother, father and children). but i suspect you knew that….

              • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

                Gem I am in total accord with you

        • http://nextbigthing.blogsome.com Hostess

          Yeah Monk. They’re thinking, “Uh! He’s stingy with his sperm so he’s prolly just a stingy dude.”

          • miss t-lee

            It’s upsetting that people think that way. You should be stingy with ya goods, the world sure has thangs twisted…lol

            • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

              so so true! i cant tell you how many dudes have been astonished by my lack of children….one guy didnt believe me! he said something like, how are you 26 and you have no kids?!?! im like, ive just been very careful with my genitals….

              come to think of it, i think that was our last conversation.

        • Intellectual Hedonist

          .

    • genius khan

      yeah. 4 what u got.

      GOD. 1. black mans opinion. im envoyed up today fam, LLMP, moving pictures, Conglomeratti, concentration champs intellectual properties: secure the perimeter. im privy to sisters and brothas @ verysmartbrothas dot com. SALUTE! digwood, Stacey Scribes n-nem. Flambiguous Flatulence III, entities in and around Asia Minor, the celestial equator, Betelguese and Rigel, all those in the khan nebula, so forth thusly etceteras… [in no particular order] just everybody. see ya haters. if i didn’t shout u, error of the head and not the heart. awww f*uckit iwaslazy. …and appealing ur pardons. i stand before thee open take ur shots. if i fux with you which i do, the pleasure is all thef*ckmine.

      oh and ahh carpet bombs the draconian thought police; the word grammar and syntax police. [i think they're looking at centralizing that or some other.... with the haters and professional cox blockers union. i think. right? idk. anyways. know the path but create ur own way. [cant righteously remember who had the sh*t said out of that.] and ahh… yeah.

      urs truly,

      pappi chulo

      http://www.vidiac.com/video/0b024550-f277-4d66-8e3a-488229eac0e5.htm

  • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

    1. the dreadlocks privilege: ensures everyone at the poetry spot, coffee shop, or indy music concert will talk to me and assumes I’m an artist or deep. I never have to approach anyone.

    2. the sole black in management privilege… champ discussed that in the black HR description.

    3. the ‘she speaks so well’ privilege, it catches 2520′s ears and they be on some Sean Paul sh!t (“Like Glue”)

    4. the vsb mythical creature privilege, but yall already know… shouts to my imaginary menagerie…

    • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

      Well then I must have the “afro” privilege because when dudes see me on the street, I can see them thinking to themselves “dont put up your black power fist, dont put up ur black power fist…”

      They always “hey sista”ing me.

      • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

        or the’peace sista’, thats myf avorite,i always respond with a wink, a grin, and hit themwith the dimple privilege, yezzir!

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          i never get any overly black panther-ish talk because of my hair…im a little hurt! *pouts*

      • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com/ eysqueen

        I second that natural hair priv. Aint nothing better than walking into a place and people start to smile and speak all because of your hair :)

        *throwing up my black power fist*

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          and ain’t nothing worse than assuming a woman with natural hair is deep then realizing her favorite rapper is lil wayne and her idea of reading is ybf or concrete loop.

          or zane.

          • miss t-lee

            ‘Bout as deep as a puddle huh? lol

            • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

              i had another much dirtier analogy to use for “deep”, but i guess “puddle” will suffice

              • miss t-lee

                Ew. Knowing you, I don’t even wanna know…

    • miss t-lee

      “3. the ’she speaks so well’ privilege, it catches 2520’s ears and they be on some Sean Paul sh!t (”Like Glue”)”

      Also a blessing and a curse…lol For me, at least…

    • Jen

      Your dreadlocks priv = my natural hair priv

      I will never be dateless, thanks to my fro. While it scares away a certain type of Black man, it reels in every other race, nationality and creed of man for miles around.

      It also causes middle-aged folks (especially Black women) to gaze at me in loving admiration. When my daughter and I BOTH go out with our fros, the number of times we are called “beautiful” per HOUR would probably astound you. Middle aged white men also seem especially effected. I think I remind them of that girl they loved in their youth but never approached due to a regional fear of miscegenation.

      • ladyb

        everybody say “aaaaaaaaaaaaaa-men”
        everybody say “aaaaaaaaaaaaaa-men”
        everybody say “aaaaaaaaaaaaaa-men”
        amen! amen!

        “peace sista” – i feel you on this!!!

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “miscegenation.”

        this is one of my 17 or 18 favorite words to use

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          meh…im not a fan.

      • hey.

        Natural Afro-Textured Hair on a Black Female?! Is like a novelty to every race including the black race in this day and age where perms and sew-ins are rites of passage. Other races of men are amazed at the things our natural hair could do. One white guy said to me while admiring my huge, floppy, fro, “I don’t know why black women wear perms; I’ve have always loved the way black women wore their hair in the 70′s.” I was in a state of pleasant suprise until he broke it buy asking me if he could touch my hair. HELL NAW, Brad Pitt!!!

  • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

    My privileges include:

    1. The “she’s so awesome, we can’t help but be attracted to her” privilege. What?? MY IG brings all the boys to the yard. hehe

    2. The “She’s a stone cold FOX” privilege. STONE. COLD.

    3. The “Her teeth are so shiny, you need shades when she smiles” privilege. *ask GK. He will be my “more people”

    hahahahaha ok im done being foolish. Now for my REAL privileges

    1. The “slanted eyes” privilege. People are truly intrigued by my eyes. And outside of the “Are you sure you’re not mixed wit Asian?” questions I get, I’m ok with em.

    Apart from when I get tipsy. They look closed and people are shocked when I dont run into walls. It ain’t my fault I got slits for eyes.

    2. The “she has no kids and is over 21″ privilege. I graduated college 2 years ago, and I know FIFTY of my peers who have had kids within that time. 5-0. Whatever is in the water (that “natural protein”, I don’t want it.

    3. The “Female Web Geek” privilege. Me and my friends (VEG in particulous) are some true web and design geeks. And techies are usually men, so we’re cool. (LIZ represents for Fem-geeks ERRWHERE!)

    4. The “You can eat and not gain a pound” privilege. Lawd knows I try. How many bowls of rice must I consume to add some weight?? It’s aight tho. I’m built like I run track (despite being so out of shape that I wheeze when I run to catch the bus)

    5. The “SECKCHUAL MILK CHOCOLATE” privilege. Hershey’s oughta sue me for copyright infringement.

    I’ll be back if I remember anymore.

    • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

      Oh, and yes I said particulous. Wasnt a typo. It’s up there w/ “pacific”, “aposed” and “irregardless”. My name is TypoCop and I make my own rules! :-p Eff Webster’s old *ss!

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        “irregardless” makes me want to start decapitating babies. just sayin….

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          in fact…im even mad that this text field didnt underline “irregardless” as a non-word. imma need to go have a popsicle and calm myself down.

          i mean, it underlined “popsicle”!!!!

          *heated*

          • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

            I purposely use “irregardless” to see if folks catch it sometimes.

            • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

              i cant even bring myself to do that most of the time! i throw up in my mouth a little.

          • ladyb

            irregardless actually is a word… my mom and i had this discussion in 1997 and we looked it up. sure enough, it means the EXACT same thing regardless does… go figure.

            • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

              irregardless of your discovery, i still want to slap the living cucaracha out of mofos that say irregardless.

            • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

              irregardless is not a word. the fact that its in the dictionary proves nothing, as we have learned that the dictionary gets adjusted according to mass stupidity.

        • Intellectual Hedonist

          I abhor that word “irregardless” so much so, that when people start to say it I give them the side eye, if they say irrespective I usually congratulate them if the say it (irregardless) I always tell them not to use it in my presence that it is wrong and has been used wrong for so long that it is now accepted as right and that any truly educated person would know that and on principle alone not use it. I also follow my tirade with this warning, “If I catch you using it again I will take out my machete take your head off, this is your warning.”

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            educated women with machetes….its whats hot on the boulevard

            (i love saying this now!)

        • kalia

          and “conversate”!!! sigh, unfortunately it is in the dictionary (as slang), but it makes me want to scratch my eyes out…..

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “The “You can eat and not gain a pound” privilege.”

      lol…i used to have this privilege. not anymore

      • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

        Yeah, me too.

  • http://yousmelllikenj.blogspot.com J.R. Bernard

    Math/Science/Technology Privilege – being able to calculate tax and/or tips without hesitation is impressive to some, as is the ability to figure out how things work, and how to improve them.

    Cultured Privilege – I can hold a conversation in any circle about anything and not seem lost with the topic of discussion

    Musician Privilege – play guitar and trumpet.

    Artist Privilege – specialized in mostly oil paint for 9 yrs before I decided oil paint was getting too expensive for my tastes.

    Handyman Privilege – fixing stuff for women will get you paid, whether it be with monetary compensation, or by other ‘means’

    Verizon Wireless Privilege – my network is ill.

    Sailor’s Privilege – byproduct of my initial desire to fly for the USN. Sailing is a unique hobby of mine.

    Pilot-to-be Privilege – (not quite there, but consider me Maverick from Top Gun)

    • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

      OOOOO nice list. Heyyyyy J.R. Have we met?? *winking*

      J.R.: “umm is there something in your eye?”
      Me: “dang it! I forgot I suck at winking”

      • http://yousmelllikenj.blogspot.com J.R. Bernard

        lmao. well if you’ve got a nice set of eyes, i’m a sucker for those, as well as any woman that can sing.

        • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

          You lost me at the “can sing” part. Hopefully, eyes will balance it out

    • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

      um wow.. I think you are one of naturally Alise’s mythical creatures…

      • http://blackwomanlost.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

        tee hee, he’s a griffin, not that anything’s wrong with that, lol

      • http://yousmelllikenj.blogspot.com J.R. Bernard

        lmao. naw not mythical at all. just had a lot of time on my hands being an only child growing up. Only thing I wish I’d gotten the chance to do was get into racing leagues at a young age. If I’d been able to, you might be hearing about me instead of Lewis Hamilton in F1.

    • Gem of the Ocean

      “Verizon Wireless Privilege – my network is ill.”

      i def have this priv as well and i love it!! plus my phone (LG Voyager) gets me lots of attn.

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        that phone is sexy as hell! lmao

        • Gem of the Ocean

          lmao… and so am i–it’s a perfect combo ;-)

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            “lmao… and so am i–it’s a perfect combo ;-)”

            someone obviously took their confidence pills last night, lol

            • Gem of the Ocean

              hehe, well if by “confidence pills” you mean “starbucks’ pumpkin spice latte” then guilty as charged. *blushing*

              • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

                you know…i may have to find you at homecoming and give you a good talking to about your starbucks problem.

              • Gem of the Ocean

                no problem here. besides, i won’t be at hc this year :(

              • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

                thats just terrible. just perish. panama says just perish.

                shucks, i graduated JUST so i could go back to homecoming. well that and the whole job thing.

              • Gem of the Ocean

                i know. it’s terrible. i haven’t been to hc since the fall after i graduated. but i have a meeting i can’t miss in Houston that wknd. having responsibilities suck.

              • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

                i can’t bring myself to attend a cau homecoming. (i only went when i was in school…and then most of the time it was spent celebrating at the ‘house) sorry, no love for the panthers. i’d rather attend my high school reunion in 40 degree weather.

              • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

                you both suck. i aint missed a homecoming yet. me and my boys goal is to go to homecoming until we die. i’m trying to be the old head walking around campus when i’m 90…

              • Gem of the Ocean

                ummm like the old dude in the maroon MC sweatshirt/pants set, with the MC hat, going from tent to tent cackling and sharing stories of how MC used to be back in the day and wondering if the ladies always looked that good?? please don’t be that guy. that guy is the worst!!!

              • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

                i want to pacifically be that guy! i mean i’m the same cat who already has plans to be a dirty old man…

    • http://www.sheliagoss.com/blog Shelia

      “Math/Science/Technology Privilege – being able to calculate tax and/or tips without hesitation is impressive to some, as is the ability to figure out how things work, and how to improve them.”

      JR, I should add that to my list of privileges too.
      This privilege really comes in handy when you’re the only female in a department and a double whammy if you’re the only black and female in the department with these skills.

      • http://yousmelllikenj.blogspot.com J.R. Bernard

        Yea, working with other (white) engineers, and being as smart or smarter than them, they tend to look at me and are amazed… as if they’re watching a monkey do math.

        (same thing happens when I speak Mandarin to Chinese people).

        • 8th Wonder

          “(same thing happens when I speak Mandarin to Chinese people).”

          Okay, now you’re just showing off.*

          *It’s working, though.

        • http://www.sheliagoss.com/blog Shelia

          JR, I’ll never understand their way of thinking.

    • Leila

      “Artist Privilege”

      I wish that I had this skill. I can’t draw or paint to save my life.

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        me neither….but i do pottery so i got that “Ghost” privilege!

    • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

      JR~all of this made you hotter than the sun… that is privilage

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “JR~all of this made you hotter than the sun… that is privilage”

        otherwise known as “the soak IH’s panties” privilege

        • Intellectual Hedonist

          @ Champ first off, why you gotta use my gobmnt name, couldnt even use my initials… DANG

          2nd~had it made my panties wet I would’ve said so, I don’t need people.

          3d it is a privilege… and 4th wouldn’t you like to know

        • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

          how come *yeh i said it* you get to edit your ish like hours and i do mean hours after the fact. no fair!

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            because i’m the champ.

            duh

            • Intellectual Hedonist

              ***giving you an E*hug with one arm while I cover your eyes with the other***

              Thanks Champ!

    • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

      “Pilot-to-be Privilege – (not quite there, but consider me Maverick from Top Gun)”

      hot privilege..im a ground school drop out j/k.

    • Jen

      Are you seriously emotionally involved in a romantic relationship?

      • http://yousmelllikenj.blogspot.com J.R. Bernard

        Nope. I’ve currently been single for about 8 months.

        • hey.

          Hey. holla! Casanova.

  • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

    dang, i had to think hard about this one!

    1. Black Grad Student at PWU privilege – they just dont have too many of us, and i feel that they will work to keep us in the program much more than they would with a non-minority student. especially since they got that diversity award they didnt earn. plus they like to parade us around on admissions day so we can temp the new dark meat to the program

    2. big breast privilege – to be honest a girl doesnt even need to have very big ones to get a man to do her bidding. *evil cackle*

    3. therapist privilege – its a blessing and a curse! but i will talk about the blessing portion. people talk to you. a lot. and they trust you without cause. lucky for them, im trustworthy, but i often find myself saying to people “um…you sure you wanna tell me all this?” when they start telling me their life story at some party or something. obviously, the curse is that people talk to you. a lot. without provocation. and dont let them find out youre a therapist, oh SNAP! then you get the dumbazz questions like (a) are you analyzing me right now? or (b) so what do you think about me? and usually my answers range from slightly snarky to mean (depending upon how long theyve been harassing me)…usually, i tell them im off the clock and the smart ones get the hint. the not so smart ones? well, they get their feelings hurt.

    4. non-threatening negro privilege – for some reason, once they get to talking to me, white folk love me. now, from afar, i look like i would stab them. thats just my face. i cant help it, nor do i try. but once they talk to me, im like their favorite negro. and this is good for getting jobs, getting good service, getting helped right away and so forth.

    5. the 3-D free privilege – disease, drug and drama free! oh, that we could all live this good! lol

    • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

      “to be honest a girl doesnt even need to have very big ones to get a man to do her bidding. *evil cackle*”

      Perky C cups can get you out of a ticket. I’m just saying. (and yes…Luvvie. I am no longer in B cup denial!)

      • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

        firm ni@@les on an A cup can get you places

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          *shiver* is it cold in here?? nah…just IH tryin to get her privilege on!

          • Intellectual Hedonist

            thanks love but I wasn’t speaking bout me

            LOL

      • miss t-lee

        “Perky C cups can get you out of a ticket.”

        These can get you outta a few things…don’t ask…lol

      • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

        V, Im glad u got ur black *ss outta denial. U was bout to drown *hehe corny. i kno*

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “2. big breast privilege – to be honest a girl doesnt even need to have very big ones to get a man to do her bidding.”

      more women should realize how far a simple boob flash or nip peek will get them. sh*t, look at sarah palin

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        i am all about the cleavage and you’ll rarely hear me complain about folks lookin….shoot, thats why i put em out there! now, let me cut in line, dangit!

        • 8th Wonder

          Holla!

      • ladyb

        can’t we just call this the “i have THESE” privilege?

        • Intellectual Hedonist

          so true, cause regardless of the size men get caught up in them, honestly I have a girl that literally does not wear a bra ever cause she does not have to and men are just drawn to her (some of these men have claimed that they are br3@st men and have no issue with hers) go figure

    • kalia

      “usually, i tell them im off the clock and the smart ones get the hint.”

      Same, here I love being a therapist but when people ask if i am analyzing them i def. say “not for free!”

  • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

    oh, now im upset! i didnt even cuss! oh well, i got a couple more…

    6. DIY privilege – i save so much money because i can do my own hair. i also save tons of time in salons…that brings me joy! im also pretty handy. i can put together most anything and plus i got a thing for power tools (like tim the toolman taylor) and ive found that men think this is hot. lol

    7. well-read privileges – by no means have a read it all, but 8 times outta 10, i will get most literary references

    • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

      YESSS, Shatani. That’s why you rock. I’m also pretty handy. I actually know how to put ish together. I’m the assembling QUEEN!

      And Borders is my FAVE store

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        my mother will buy stuff and just let it sit til the next time i come to visit. she dont even TRY to follow the directions! she got that “damsel in distress” privilege that i just cant seem to pull off! lmao

        she also got that big booty african privilege…she got admirers wherever she goes! i watched a dude walk out in traffic followin that behind! lmao

    • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

      “DIY privilege – i save so much money because i can do my own hair. i also save tons of time in salons…that brings me joy! im also pretty handy. i can put together most anything and plus i got a thing for power tools (like tim the toolman taylor) and ive found that men think this is hot. lol”

      I love putting stuff together. I have my own tool box, drill, stud finder and level. But I usually try to exercise other privileges that can get this work done for me before I do it myself. Lol.

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        ive got all that stuff too. i got my eye on this electric staple gun *tingle*

        and i feel ya on that. but sometimes i want to feel the joy of accomplishment. other times…i CAN do it myself, but i want YOU to do it for me, is my motto.

        • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

          I have an electric staple gun. very powerful. almost lost a digit because of it. lol.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “DIY privilege”

      what does this stand for?

      • miss t-lee

        DIY–do it yourself.
        I think that’s what she meant. Am I right shatani?

        • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

          ha ha! do it yourself… *snicker* (Sorry, I think mentally I am 12 years old)

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          hahaha…yeah, thats what i meant. alise is bout to be in that corner!

          • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

            That’s where the smart cool kids hang out anyway, so its not really punishment…

            • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

              thats what we want you to believe anyway…

            • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

              it depends on how you define “punishment”

  • http://bourgieadventures.wordpress.com Renee Raddick, Esq.

    1. Black girl w/freckles priv: It’s a quirky thing for people to be attracted to. Fellow freckled folk feel familiar (ha @ alliteration). Guys like ‘em lots. Of course, it usually comes with the “you can’t be ALL Black” inquiry.

    2. Northern Raised – Southern Educated priv: I am impervious to men who use that “Girls in the north/south are hotter” crap. People assume I have street smarts, a sharp tongue or that I can drop it like it’s hot and cook. They’re all right.

    3. Black female professional priv: You can date a guy without him thinking you want to get into his pockets because, clearly, you have a great career.

    4. Busty woman priv: This is self-explanatory. If you do it right, you can have a pretty good day thanks to your boobies.

    5. Tall woman priv: First of all, you can reach whatever you want. Secondly, you probably have long legs, which are hot. Tall men (who you like) need you. Short men (who you can deal with) want to climb you.

    6. Alma Mater has top sports teams priv: This one is the best. you can talk all kinds of ish no matter the season. people will bond with you over sports. instant recognition of your school. ability to purchase your school’s ‘nalia ANYwhere.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “Secondly, you probably have long legs, which are hot”

      this is true

    • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

      5. Tall woman priv: First of all, you can reach whatever you want. Secondly, you probably have long legs, which are hot. Tall men (who you like) need you. Short men (who you can deal with) want to climb you.

      im with you on the first part, but that last part is the curse!

  • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

    8. happy nappy privilege – its so freeing to be able to frollick in the rain with no worries or cares. to be able to literally wash and go when it comes to hair styling. to truly be so happy with your hair that you really dont even care if someone else likes it! plus, its the healthiest and longest its EVER been

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      why are you frolicking in the rain?

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        cuz i can!

      • PBG

        Champ, frolicking is right up there w/glitter. It makes everything better.

    • miss t-lee

      “happy nappy privilege ”

      Yes ma’am! :)

    • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

      Happy nappy is the best… it also gives you “no beauty salon” privilege if you so choose, it gives you the privelige of even when you think you are having a bad hair day no one knows…

      • PBG

        I LOVE how my bad hair days are virtually undetectable! That is one of the best parts of being nappyheaded.

  • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

    9. kick*ss sense of humor privilege – seriously, i love love love to laugh! and, from what i hear, thats not common for black women in philly. lmao. and folks seem to think im funny as well, so they wanna be around me. i always tell them, the key to being funny is to work really hard to amuse yourself! (they like that “confucius say” isht)

    10. the easily amused privilege – im an only child so i am well versed in the art of self amusement. im okay with alone time and i can amuse myself for long periods just doin dumb stuff. its nice not having to depend on someone else for your amusement…i know this as someone who has been depended upon. while i was annoyed by that person, i also felt sorry for them…

    • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

      I do not benefit from DIY… LOL thats not my bag AT ALL.. I have a very good sense of humor about myself and about life.. I think…..so I think I benefit from that….

  • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

    and also…this right here? H.A.M.

    “2. the black male former english teacher privilege…which insures that, regardless of how hard things are economically, unless i’m caught on rude.com akon-ing keke palmer, i’ll always be able to get a job somewhere teaching english. sh*t, at this point, i might as well put “quota filler” on my resume instead of my name”

    ps. dig the shout out to rude.com! lmao

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      lol…i wonder what percentage of vsb-ers will get that. i’m guessing 22 percent

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        i dont know who else will get it, but that made me choke on my honey cheese curls.

      • V Renee

        I didn’t get it :( Enlighten me please!

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “I didn’t get it :( Enlighten me please!”

          google rude.com.

          if you’re at work, wait till you get home t0 do it. trust me