Adele Is Coming For You Even Though You Didn’t Send For Her » VSB

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Adele Is Coming For You Even Though You Didn’t Send For Her

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Unless you live under a rock, you probably heard and saw Adele’s new song and video for her first single off the upcoming November release, 25, entitled “Hello”.

She’s coming for you.

She’s coming for me.

She’s coming for us all.

Adele saw that Taylor Swift was set to gross (on average) a million dollars a day this year (she’s not) and decided she wanted to make two million a day, with half of that money paid with the souls of those who have had relationship regrets. Adele is like Ursula from The Little Mermaid, looking at us poor unforunate souls (so sad, so true) and instead of helping us, she’s writing soundtracks to our ineptitudes and difficulties and making you stare out of the window on the train ride of your life only for you to realize that in actuality it’s only about 3am and three niggas don’ got hauled off into an ambulance, two niggas done started bussin’ and one nigga took his shirt off talkin’ about, “who else wanna fuck with Hollywood Courts?”

RIP Hollywood Courts.

And RIP to that relationship that you were in that has you listening to “Hello” and wishing you could say that one last thing to make it all better while realizing that it won’t change anything and you’re all probably better off. Which is a hard realization to make for many people. Humans have this insatiable desire for closure and reconciliation. And Adele is like the spokeswoman for every emotion involved in the entire process. Of everything.

And who hasn’t felt a desire to apologize to somebody for something they’ve done to another person? Even years after the fact. Growth is a real thing and we all know that we’ve broken hearts. I’m not innocent here. The rub here is that – and it’s intimated in this song – usually the person we’ve hurt has moved on because they’ve been forced to (or at least they’ve put you into the recesses of their mind) so they don’t need or want that conversation. Our conscience might be holding onto something that will not get solved by talking to that other person.

Truth be told, reopening old wounds via an “apology” almost never goes the way we think it will anyway. The more truth to be told is that often times, the BEST resolution in most situations is for both parties to go their separate ways without attempting to “clear the air” and get “closure”, which is an overrated thing.

Why?

Well, by the time most of us get to the point of deciding we want to apologize, the apologee has moved on and is “okay” or at least okay enough to proceed into new situations. And here comes Adele trying to make phone calls from the other side dredging up old shit. And in nearly no situation ever is it useful to bring up old shit.

Hello from the other side indeed.

Adele decided to just go on ahead and speak to all of our lives like we don’t already know. You ain’t right, girl.

I love Adele. Her voice is amazing. Her songwriting is amazing. Her ability to use her voice and songwriting to vocally tap into the exact emotion necessary to put me square in my feelings is amazing. She is amazing.

Quick story.

Do you know how I got into Adele? In the oddest twist of fate, I got into Adele via Wale. Yes, rapper, Wale. I’ve met the man, and even sat on a panel with him, but do not know him personally. But one day, a looooooooooong time ago, I was watching some video of him as he was in his more surly days and doing the college campus tour rounds and in one clip, he loads up Adele’s “Chasing Pavements” and starts singing his ass off. I’d never listened to an Adele song before that but I was so amused by this video of Wale singing and how epic the hook sounded, that I cued the song and was immediately taken by that song in particular. I mean…should I give up? Should I just keep chasing pavements? What if it leads nowhere? I NEEDED TO KNOW THE ANSWERS.

That damn Adele came for me and I ain’t even send for her. I was stuck. That was on her album 19. So by the time 21 came out in  2011 and Adele was popular enough to be elected President of America, Pope, and Dalai Lama…well you were there. Point is, Adele can do no wrong. And she knows it. I expect 25 to be no different.

Which ALSO means that every other popular singer should take a smoke break and let Adele go on ahead and cook. Because she’s about to hop out the Wraith wearing the red jacket Drake had on in his “Hotline Bling” video on some “hello” steez.

Adele back.

Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly (and gorgeous) for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. He refuses to eat cocaine chicken. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future. You can hit him on his hitter at panamadjackson@gmail.com.

  • pls

    I’m completely indifferent to Adele.

    • panamajackson

      Does not compute.

    • MrsRivera

      There are other artists doing exactly what Adele does… which is mediocre singing about relationship problems.

      • panamajackson

        I can understand not liking her…everybody has their preferences. But mediocre singing? You lose me there. One thing Adele does NOT have is a mediocre singing voice.

        • at all. ever. not even before, during or after surgery.

        • Lea Thrace

          Like I dont even know how mediocre can be used in the same sentence as Adele. Like whet?!

          • Illumina

            I can freely admit that a black female artist singing the same songs and being the same size as Adele would not be nearly as popular.

            But mediocre singer…nope!

            • Question

              Part of me think that also has something to do with the UK vs US music industry. If Adele hadn’t first been quite popular in the UK, I doubt she would’ve ever been given a chance for crossover appeal here in the US.

              • Jennifer

                The UK LOVES their blue eyed soul — and remember, Adele came out along with Amy Winehouse, Duffy, and a host of other soulful British lady singer. She’s just the one who surpassed them all (RIP Amy).

                • Illumina

                  Don’t mention Amy…makes me sad.

                • Pinks

                  I listen to Amy like once a week and damn near cry every time.

                  • PhlyyPhree

                    Every time. I went and saw the Amy movie about a month ago and boohooed for the rest of the weekend over a bottle (or several) of Crown and all te recordings of her I could find. It hurt on so many different levels.

                    • Jennifer

                      I can’t even do it. I was a wreck all through and after the Nina Simone doc. I haven’t worked up the nerve to see Amy, and I’ve heard nothing but good reviews about the movie.

                    • Pinks

                      I haven’t seen it yet. Every time I think about it, something else distracts me and I never get to it.

                • Question

                  Amy. -sigh-

                • Asiyah

                  I miss Amy :(

              • Illumina

                Possibly. I don’t know; maybe they allow for more varied in they’re entertainers.

                I watch a decent amount of Brit TV and it is interesting to see the various sizes of the actresses. I mean it is still very narrow, but not nearly as narrow as US TV.

                • Question

                  I’ve also noticed that the UK doesn’t seem to be as rigid about race in roles.

                  Note: This is not to say that the UK is without its own issues with race.

                • MsKitty

                  That’s why I used to love watching EastEnders back in the day (still mad at BBC America for taking it off). The women weren’t all size 0 lollipops and the men didn’t look like they could be Chippendales dancers like on American soaps. I mean Phil Mitchell…nuff said.

            • Brendee

              I wish Chrisette Michele was more appreciated.

        • MrsRivera

          She ain’t no Jazmine Sullivan… eh.

          • Dougie

            Their voices are different. When you listen to Jazmine you say “how did she do that with her voice” often. But I think Adele is overall more pleasant to listen to.

          • ?

            YES x 1000

        • Janelle Doe

          Agreed. If she’s mediocre I don’t wanna know where Taylor and Rihanna get in line.

          • pls

            idky cuz we have known forever that neither of them could sing

      • Cleojonz

        Yeah this is unnecessary hate, I can understand if you don’t feel her music that much, I won’t trust you, but everyone’s taste is different. To say her singing is mediocre though is REALLY a stretch.

        • MrsRivera

          Like I said to someone else. She has a great tone I can’t deny her that, but her range is extremely limited. For her type of music I guess a shallow range if fine…

        • Epsilonicus

          A very big stretch. Her voice is definitely not mediocre.

      • pls

        let me step out on this limb with you and state facts. adele’s voice is very nice but is limited. I’ll leave it at that.

        • Jennifer

          Her songwriting and her collaborators know to keep that voice in its wheelhouse. Some of the best singer/songwriters have not historically had the strongest voices, but what they lack in range, they make up in expression and great storytelling. Again, I think her voice is great, but it’s great because she knows what she can and can’t do with it.

        • MrsRivera

          That’s my point.

        • Asiyah

          it is limited but I think she knows that and I appreciate that she sticks to what she’s good at. nothing wrong with knowing your limits.

        • Angelique Jewell

          Adele knows hot to best use her voice and that is what matters.

      • Jennifer

        I don’t agree, but I get what you’re saying. But, we loved our Bobby Caldwells, Hall and Oates, and Teena Maries just the same.

        • MrsRivera

          You know… I guess you right. But Teena Marie can sing her azz off ;)

    • HAHA

      We will all pray for you.

    • KayMac

      Oh bless your heart…bless it…

    • GirlMelanie86

      Like, I want to like her but I just don’t, man. I feel the same way about a few artists. Miguel and Jennifer Hudson are two of them.

      • 2011k

        Miguel is bae. Love him. I was never here for JHud though, I only dug her when she was Effie White

        • QuirlyGirly

          I feel the same way about her. I dont know if it is her songs or what but I just cant get in to her. I like her first song and maybe one other one but the rest are meh. Clearly the girl can blow but I am still like meh

          • 2011k

            She just comes across as so….dry to me. And it shows in her music. Just my perspective though, I’m sure she’s a lovely person or whatevs.

        • GirlMelanie86

          Yeah I could just never get into her. She doesn’t really have a niche and she has zero personality. She has this big voice but she doesn’t know what to do with it.

          • 2011k

            “She has this big voice but she doesn’t know what to do with it.”
            And that’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.

          • mssporadic

            Her and Kelly Rowland have the same problem: no X-Factor. There is nothing special enough about them that draws you in. JHud was doing well with the Ne-Yo songs; she should hook up with him again. Kelly sounds like she could prosper with old school/classic slow jams. The chexual music is not believable. Plus, other singers are doing that type of music more successfully than her.

            • GirlMelanie86

              JHud was cool with Ne-yo, I’m not sure what happened with that. I think I like maybe 3 of her songs out of however many albums she’s had. You’re so right, I touched on that as well but there’s just nothing there to pull me in. It’s like she doesn’t know what type of artist she wants to be so she just does everything and nothing at the same time, lol.

              Kelly as a solo artist… eh…She just never curled all the way over for me. My support for Kelly is different tho. I’ll still support because of her connection to DC, but I need her to find her footing as an artist too. And actually, she’s been doing this longer than JHud so I shouldn’t be able to say that about her. She’s kinda in that dunno-what-to-do-with-myself area too, and yeah the s3x stuff isn’t working for me. I could see some r&b pop in her future but I dunno if she sees it for herself, lol.

      • mssporadic

        I didn’t like Miguel until I heard Simple Things. Then I heard Coffee and I’m officially a fan. I would love to see a duet between him and Jill Scott or Jasmine Sullivan. Jennifer Hudson doesn’t know what kind of artist she wants to be. She doesn’t need to be the next coming of Donna Summer (RIP). She could have had a nice soul/gospel/R&B type career.

        • GirlMelanie86

          See I have several songs by Miguel that I like, and as a writer he’s hella talented. Vocally he does nothing for me, tho. I HATE “Adorn” so much, partly because the rotation was the heaviest of his career, but mostly because he sounds fucking turrible in it. Like Kelly R’s “Motivation”, she sounds horrible and we just let it happen, lol. I dunno… both of those ladies would drown him out in a duet IMO.

          • Wild Cougar

            LOVE Miguel

            • GirlMelanie86

              I wish I felt the same, lol. But yall all LOVED that song and the whole time I’m like “Do yall HEAR this? He doesn’t sound good!”

              • Wild Cougar

                I don’t like Adorn at all. Don’t know why that song got the most play. It’s the worst one. But Teach Me, My Piece and The Thrill? I don’t get tired of hearing them. He has a distinctive voice that you can love or hate.

                • GirlMelanie86

                  Do you feel the Prince comparison is warranted?

                  • Wild Cougar

                    Nah. Just listen to the way he wails at the end of teach me, that cougar bait mating cry, lol. It’s very Prince like

                  • 2011k

                    Yah. Well, maybe naw, but I think he has great potential and somewhere down the line, he’s gonna deserve that comparison.

          • 2011k

            I HATED Motivation when it first came out, bruh. That’s around the time she was heavy into that dance sound and was actually putting out some good stuff. I almost threw in my K. Row semi-fan card, but the video motivated me to keep it.

            • GirlMelanie86

              Sooooo essentially the song worked, then, I gather, lol

              • 2011k

                The video worked, lol. The song is just extra

      • Dougie

        Kaleidoscope Dream is absolute fire. The whole album. Miguel is the deal.

        • 2011k

          Yes Lawd, I love that album. I was so sad when that flying kick he did at the Billboards made everyone forget about how great that album is.

          • Dougie

            lol guy wanted to become Bruce Lee. He should have stuck to music!

    • Vanity in Peril

      Yeah, me too.

    • 2011k

      How does that even work?

      • pls

        same way people are indifferent to my fave, beyonce. some folks just don’t give a sh t.

    • Dougie

      you must have a different definition of indifferent than I do.

      • pls

        indifferent as in Idc one way or another about anything she says or does? she released a song after years of silence and I feel…nothing. what is your definition?

        • Dougie

          I was kidding. I just can’t fathom how somebody could be indifferent. I’m no stan, but I know talent when I hear it. Shorty got it. Das all.

          • pls

            she’s boring but pretty to look at. I imagine this is how non bey fans feel, but I still can’t fathom how anybody could be annoyed by what she does, but they do.

    • NKORigible

      I listened. watched. and
      so am I.
      it sounds like every other atl.kinda soul Brit out there.

  • mssporadic

    I didn’t want to hear Hello for fear that it would suck. Nope. It’s awesome. Already pre-ordered 25. She is the one artist I think could have pulled a Beyonce by dropping the album with no promotion successfully. I do not want to wait a month.

  • MsKitty

    I bought a new car a few weeks ago with a ridiculously tight sound system. Plugged in the iPod during the ride home one night and “One and Only” came on. I swear it was like the first time I really heard it. Adele got me up in my feelings so deep that I almost had to pull over.

    I’m almost afraid to buy this new album. I ain’t ready for it.

    • V Renee

      That song sends chills through me. I ain’t ever wanted to beg a nig for a relationship as much as I do when I listen to this song.

      • Wild Cougar

        This is hazardous. Right in the middle of cuffing season. Smh. Adele is ruthless

        • PhlyyPhree

          Right??!!?
          Now I’m about to fall in love with a n i gga I only halfway liked for the night. Sigh.

          • Epsilonicus

            You savage lol

        • Melissa

          Agreed – Boston will be a frigid hellscape in three to six weeks and I’m going to wind up eating bread pudding chased with Tanqueray and sending forlorn-ass text messages to my boyfriend

          • Jennifer

            Nah, I’ma chase that bread pudding with bourbon…and then use that bourbon to make a delightful glaze for that bread pudding. Thanks, Adele!

            • Melissa

              Adele needs to go right a song about how we just became best friends and I’m wistfully sending you a bread pudding with my heart!!

              http://www.marthastewart.com/900304/bourbon-bread-pudding

              • Jennifer

                Yes! But, you know Adele ain’t writing that song. It’s too happy.

                • Melissa

                  SO TRUE! Though she may have one heartbreaker in her about bread pudding that came out a little dry haha! The video could be her in a deserted Williams Sonoma wailing about forgetting to preheat the oven. *all the feelings*

                  • Jennifer

                    Hahahahaha!

    • Lea Thrace

      Your last sentence is exactly how I felt the first time I heard Hello. I said OUT LOUD: My heart just isnt ready for this.

    • Melissa

      If you haven’t gotten to He Won’t Go yet…good LORD. I mean, now I need a minute (or six hours). Enjoy!! :)

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qgp7hlkfstI

  • amina

    I’m here for Adele, I shed a thug tear when she had to cancel her North America tour because of throat problems. But I’m glad she rested those pipes, so that we can have more of THIS!

    • KayMac

      Won’t He do it?!!?

  • RU Scarlet

    Just my interpretation of the situation, but this song made me relive the heartbreak Ralph Wiggum must have felt when Lisa Simpson curved him after he told her “I choo-choo-choose you”.

    I’m sure Lisa’s curled up in a dark room somewhere rocking Uggs & a Slanket, with both hands cupped around something pumpkin spice and “Hello” on repeat from the next room.

    • panamajackson

      Yeah. I laughed out loud. Good job.

    • 1ncredulously
      • HR Paperstacks

        Poor Ralph.

        • RU Scarlet

          And you just know once he stopped eating boogies & paste that he moved on to do great things…

      • RU Scarlet

        The exact moment when you could see his heart breaking!

    • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

      This is one of the great episodes. I love how Bart is so heartless that he has it recorded so he can play it in slow-mo.

  • KayMac

    Look…I am here for Adele..no matter my relationship status (non-existent), Adele will ALWAYS pull at my heart strings…

  • jabberjaws

    ayo that apology to exes ain’t worked out since High Fidelity

  • htxgoodfella

    Adele will not be sucking the life force out of me this year! But that Spottieottie line in the post was dope.

  • Ashia Sims

    Man, I haven’t had the need to apologize to anyone in a long time, and this song had me thinking about re-reading old diary entries to see who I was thinking of while the video was playing. She makes you dive into feels that aren’t feels any more. I’m here for all of it. Plus I have a slight cougar crush on Tristan Wilds, and he’s in the video. So there’s that.

    • Cleojonz

      Tristan Wilde all of a sudden looks so grown up I was having an argument with myself over whether that was actually him or not!

      • QuirlyGirly

        Me too! It is like I am seeing him right before he becoming a man but I can see the formation and I kinda like it.

  • Pinks

    I dunno..the song hasn’t grown on me yet.

    I love Adele, but I need time with this one.

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