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A Prayer Because I’m Just *CENSORED* Tired

Congregation of St. Panama Jackson the United Methodist Baptist Pentecostal AME Church of God in Christ Episcopal Primitive Missionary Baptist Down By The Riverside Holiness Church, please bow your heads…again:

Dear 175 lb, carpenter god/God, afro-pic utilizing banned from the USA, Jesus, I’m tired. My feet are weary even though you’ve allegedly been carrying me whenever I go to the beach. Though, I’m saying, they don’t look like Birkenstocks in the sand is all I’m saying. Royal heathen Kevin Gates is not tired despite having six jobs, but I’ll bet that not one of those jobs is watching CNN or keeping up with national politics, Father God. For if it were, he’d be tired too. Downright droopy even.

Lord, every day is a new thing to protest. Send the saints gift cards for New Balance, Jesus, because folks are going to spend a lot of time standing around yelling. Jesus be a lozenge for justice for all those individuals who protest one cause only to look at their smart phones and have to walk somewhere else to protest another. Spritely spirit, it’s been two entire weeks and Lucifer’s trumpeter has created an atmosphere of un-rest and disruption, Lord. Father God, they’re making up massacres.

I can’t take it no more. The more I watch CNN the less I want to watch CNN and the more I long for a kitten meme. When I wake up in the morning, taking those precious breaths that you bestow upon my soul and body, Father God, the first thing that I do is open my “News” app to see what shenanigans may have been committed in the 6 hours that I slumbered and dreameded of a time when the free world wasn’t being guided by an idiot. Precious Lord, it’s not that I won’t stop, it’s that I can’t stop looking at and reading news to find out just how far into a death spiral this country is heading.

And singular deity of the soul, how are these news sites able to crank out the same story 100 times forcing me to read for a new angle? There is a negative information overload and for some reason I think that people who can reason are the only ones reading and giving any of the cares, lord. I turn to Fox News Channel and they’re all smiling and laughing. They’re happy, Lord. How is there so much jubilation, happiness, and smiling in your kingdom while at the same doggone time there ain’t nan smile to be found on news channels where folks of color and minorities dwell?

And another thing, Carpenter Jesus, can we get a moratorium on Sean Spicer? I can’t stand the man, personally – your father ain’t done with me yet – since he aligned himself with evil. Without any of the conviction of Tupac, he steps out into the crowd and does the worst job of defending non-sense of all time. He’s traipsing out a house of lies on top of a house of cards day in and day out. It would be one thing if you could tell he believed in what he was saying but he clearly does not, Lord. Delivert him. Delivert him.

Jesus, be a pillow and comforter for the souls of the weary who are out here trying our best to be involved in the process while feeling like the entire process is straight basura.

You know what else tires me out, Jesus? Looking in the faces of people I know voted that nincompoop into office and not being able to speak my mind because I need to stay employed. That is tiring beyond measure. If tired was measurable, it would be a whole measuring cup full. A solid 16 ounces. Not 40 ounces of love, just 16 ounces of why, why? Is it human nature? Lord? Can you hear me? I know you can hear me. I’ve even got evangelical Bluetooth in this piece, Father.

Lord, grant me the serenity to only watch VH1 or Bravo for a little while and center my soul with some ratchetness that doesn’t threaten to catapult the world into World War III.

Lordt. I just can’t take it no more. I just can’t. I need a nap. A nap of salvation. Mine eyes still see the glory but they’re bloodshot from paying attention to the world being left for my children.

I’m exhausted, Father God. Field Mob was sick of being lonely and Mystikal was sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Well, I’m done lord. I need a break. Jesus be a breakroom with Centric so I can watch Moesha. Oh, and thank you for giving Beyonce some twins. The Black coalition thanks you. And also for giving Barack and Michelle some fun in the sun and a dorky hat for Barack to wear during said fun in the sun.

Namaste. Ase.

Amen.

Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly (and gorgeous) for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. He refuses to eat cocaine chicken. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future. You can hit him on his hitter at panamadjackson@gmail.com.

  • Negro Libre

    Since you brought up Church, I just wanted to point out that it’s odd to see that the theocratic evangelicals, mostly white, but I’m guessing a bigger number of blacks as we’d expect, are getting a lot of play from the Trumptator-in-Chief.

    • Sigma_Since 93

      I find it interesting that these God fearing Republicans that worship the same refugee that I do are putting laws in place that wouldn’t allow Jesus, Mary, or Joseph to enter the United States. You would think the How do the love they have for Christ would be evident in how they govern and the laws they pass. I need help in understanding how they compartmentalize this

      • Hiding My ?hide yours 2

        Which ‘refugee’ you worship?

        • Sigma_Since 93

          Jesus

          See Matthew 2:13

      • These are the same God fearing Republicans who support capital punishment yet their Lord & Savior was a victim of capital punishment.

        Don’t try to make it make Sig!

      • Brooklyn_Bruin

        Historically, the same God fearing demographic owned slaves.

        • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

          But they didn’t know we were people.

    • He’s going to throw red meat at his base until they get mad cow disease.

  • Other_guy13

    Awoman….

  • kingpinenut

    Mystikal….lol lawdhabmussy

  • [Insert Creative Name Here]

    Awww, look at the cute kittens.

    P.S. I couldn’t tell if the photo used was actually of kittens or it was my “Make Kittens Great Again” extension. Either way: Awww, look at the cute kittens.

    • MsKeisha23

      That extension is EVERYTHING lol

  • miss t-lee

    Hey man. I felt this in my spirit.

    • Ya man Art Briles gets an early nod for Savage of the Year.

      • miss t-lee

        Nah…that ain’t my man.
        But, yes…definitely a top savage situation

        • “Some bad dudes…”

          • miss t-lee

            Man…we always knew that that Oakman sitch was the tip of the iceberg, but dayummmm.

  • Stanley

    Man listen, every morning I wake up and steel myself for the new level bullshit he’s about to get us into.

  • InezPerez

    Panama you about to make me catch the spirit

  • TheCollinB

    Me and Stunna were talking last night and came to an agreement not to talk about this in our personal time no more because it will be new shyt to get vexed about everyday. Time we could be fucking, watching pirated movies or pan frying skirt steaks. Can’t let this shyt show tire is out.

    Keep the faith Panama, and keep your drink of choice above half full.

    • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

      I had lunch with a business colleague/possibly growing into a real friend. She was saying how stressed out and worried she is post election. She mentioned that people are going to get more relaxed about saying unacceptable shid (she’s Egyptian). She mentioned a couple of stories that were mind blowing including a Black friend of hers that was called boy by an older white man while walking in downtown Sacramento. Her friend is bigger than me (I’m 5′ 11″ 205). Related, I need to make sure I keep enough cash at the crib to post bail if necessary.

      • TheCollinB

        that “boy” shyt isn’t gonna fly. we’d have to talk about that. I could shoot $20 to your bail gofundme account.

        • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

          Not just boy, but “who you looking at boy”, “don’t look at me boy”. Apparently, the older “gentleman” was getting belligerent with someone else, and my colleagues friend was looking to see what was going to happen next. Honestly, I don’t see it ending without me grabbing him by throat, but that’s just me. She also told me a story about how she was quizzed as to whether she was Muslim. Her response was “no, but why is that important”. My advice to her was next time say, “yes, and I have a vest on underneath my clothing and I’ll pull the fucking pin. I’m ready to go are you?”. Granted that would lead to arrest, but still.

      • grownandsexy2

        I got u Kas, just holla.

    • Valerie

      “Time we could be fucking, watching pirated movies or pan frying skirt steaks” YES to this.

      • TheCollinB

        The good life

    • With the freshly cracked pink himalayan salt on top! yaassssaaaaaaa

      • TheCollinB

        What-a-gwan Pinks?

        • Mary

          Kaz know, cuz he boogie. ;)

          Panama knocked it out the ark with this one!

  • tiggatae

    I’m just going to add “Please lord!” and “Amen!”

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