***flashback to fall 2006 as a younger champ is out a second date with an extremely attractive philly who also shared his affinity for “the wire” and angela nissel. basically, a potential all-star***
the champ: “…and so anyway, thats when we started calling her “bucket face”. i never looked at feathers or windex the same way again. enough about me, though. whats on your mind and sh*t”
flighty philly, after a prolonged sigh: “please don’t tell me you’re one of those guys, are you?”
a perplexed champ: “huh”
philly: “i mean, you seem great in all, but i’m a cynic. without fail, every guy i’ve ever had feelings for has cheated on me. every. single. one. they all seemed nice in the beginning, but then again, so did nicolae carpathia.”
***btw, i’m not making this up. she actually used the perfect carpathia analogy in real-time conversation. when you combine this with her close-to dimeness, it was very hard for me to make the decision i eventually made. i cried for three days afterwards***
the champ, creating a sentence that signifies his potential hurt at the lost potential while doing his damnedest to give her one last try: “seriously?”
philly: “seriously”
“ok”, the champ responds, while subtlely erasing her number from his cell phone and transferring his thoughts to cream of wheat and lightly buttered toast
ok. i can imagine the questions going through everyone’s heads: how the hell did the champ become so magnificent, and what do i need to do to get there??? what was the big deal? what caused you to go from “damn she’s bad as hell” to “virtual restraining order” in less than 15 seconds?
if you’re thinking it was about her moving too fast (ie: her using the second date to ask whether or not i’d cheat)…you’re wrong. i have a tendency to attract and be attracted to “relationship-ey” women, so this early line of questioning wasn’t a surprise. in fact, from what i knew about her, i expected it.
its not even about her admitting to being a cynic, questioning my greatness (blasphemy!!!!) and motives. initial cynicism is nothing but a bit of self-preservation, and i’d actually be turned-off by a woman completely devoid of that quality.
no, my early escape that evening and subsequent mental sprint from even entertaining the idea of a third date had everything to do with this line:
“without fail, every guy who’s ever been with me has cheated on me. every. single. one”
whats the big deal, you ask? whats so wrong with dating a woman who hasnt had the best history with men?
well, if you assume that she’s telling the truth (which i did), four things immediately came to mind:
1. she’s a terrible judge of character.
if it happens once, that sucks.
twice? damn.
three times? you must have bad luck.
with every person you’ve ever been with? the “coincedence window” closes somewhere between three and four. at this point, its safe to say that your character gauge is more f*cked up than gary payton’s suits, a fact which permeantly bars you from my circle. sorry
2. she’ll project
i’d be fighting a losing battle from day one. each day would be test, a neverending gauntlet of inane inferences and hilarious hypotheticals with her at the end of the line, waiting for me with a jousting stick.
3. she’s a reformed ho
for whatever reason, there seems to be a strong correlation between reformed ho-dom and being habitually cheated on. i have absolutely no idea why this is true…but it is true
4. wack sackiness
ok…lets say number one isn’t true. lets say she is a great judge of character…but all of these high character guys still cheat on her. hmmm. it doesn’t take a genius or a…
…champ, a gem of the ocean, or a killa k to figure out how this can possibly be.
vsb.com…what are some other subtle relationship red flags? behaviors or actions that might not seem like much on the surface, but tell a much deeper and more disturbing truth? my inquiring mind wants to know and sh*t
—the champ
***btw, we’re trying to create a virtual gallery of people rocking their vsb shirts. if you’re interested, send a pic of you wearing your shirt to us at contact@verysmartbrothas.com and we’ll incorporate you into an entry somehow***
If you’ve been dating a guy 3 or so weeks and one day you have some version of this convo, heed the red flags:
Boy: I called you last night. Where were you?
Girl: Sleeping.
Boy: But I called three times.
Girl: At 1 a.m. When I was asleep.
Boy: Let me know right now if you are on some bull-ish…
If you are in your man’s bathroom and have this convo, upon exiting, heed the red flag:
Man: Who were you on the phone with?
Woman: I was peeing.
Man: I heard the phone.
Woman: Not from in that bathroom you didn’t.
Man: Guess I have trust issues.
I continued dating both of these men. They were really hot.
Dayum VEG that was mine!!!
lol.
“Dayum VEG that was mine!!!”
…said the 8th wonder, after she witnessed v.e.g. leaving the champs bedroom
I just never expected her to use my personal “supplements” to finish the job you halfway started. I shouldn’t have left them at your place. You’re supposed to bring your own. I mean, that’s just rude.
8th, Im not tryin to be all in your business and such, but did you leave said implements at the Champ’s place cause you would be back ? Or cause you knew he was going to need them?
good question.
and the answer would be?
gumbo.
gross
yeah. 8th wonder just put a blanket of stank on that entire comment
ROTFLMAO!!! never a blanket of stank…
One flag that women seem to constantly ignore is the “I’m not interested in a relationship right now” flag. I don’t know how the man can say “I’m just trying to hit it” any clearer, yet for a lot of women, it becomes some sort of twisted challenge. Come on girl, its a flag.
Or, lets just flip your example around, Champskie (Nice egg-head, by the by). You’re sitting down with a dude and he says to you, “I’ve basically cheated on every woman I’ve ever been in a relationship with. I don’t know what that’s about…”
Umm…flag. Actually, Flags. As in plural. As in a flag from every nation.
I’m not sure either of those are subtle, however. Ahh well, sue me.
One flag that women seem to constantly ignore is the “I’m not interested in a relationship right now” flag. I don’t know how the man can say “I’m just trying to hit it” any clearer, yet for a lot of women, it becomes some sort of twisted challenge. Come on girl, its a flag.
great point, 8th. too many women try to make/force men to settle down. if he wants to just hit, and is intentional about letting you know, either let him or move on. you cannot change a man any more than you can save a ho3–why don’t ppl understand these rules of engagement??
i don’t even run into the “i just want to have fun” guys anymore. nowadays i only seem to meet men who are clingy and relationshipey. h3ll, i could start my own “mr. right now” directory.
I dont think this is totally true. B/c there have been many men who only intended to hit and ended up in a relationship. It happened to me before.
Yeah, but did it happen because you told her you were only trying to hit and she disregarded that and tried to change you, or did it happen because yall were only hitting and then somehow it evolved into something more serious?
All I’m saying is, women who are fortunate enough to have a man be honest with them from jump, shouldn’t act like they didn’t hear him when he said he didnt want a girl, and try to convince him in some way to be in a relationship with them.
I told her but the knowledge was too powerful…
I told her but the knowledge was too powerful…
vsb.com: where fellatio euphemisms happen
And this is exactly why I don’t be giving my knowledge about all willy nilly~Knowledge is POWER!
i had to learn that one the hard way…..
*sigh* he just wont stop callin.
“I want a girl when I want a girl, and when I don’t want a girl, I want a girl who understands that…”
(c) Phonte
You know I had to do it.
I dont think this is totally true. B/c there have been many men who only intended to hit and ended up in a relationship. It happened to me before.
i agree, peyso. i don’t think its so cut and dry and sh*t.
btw, “cut and dry and sh*t” sounds like the directions for a nasty ass midwestern line dance
you know, just because it has happened before doesnt really make her statement untrue. the bottom line is, if a man tells you he just wants to hit, wishing and hoping and thinking and praying is not going to change his mind. she would be wasting time to sit around waiting on him to decide otherwise and theres no guarantee he ever will.
i dunno…thats just not a bet im willing to take.
of course, ppl change their minds ALL THE TIME. that’s life, that’s normal. a person making their own changes on their own terms is not what i’m talking about. i’m saying i think it’s silly to expect and/or force some one to change on acct of what some one else wants from them. which i find to be selfish.
“which i find to be selfish.”
And delusional.
Sorry Gem, I have to disagree with you on this one. The point of being in a real, grounded and long lasting relationship is to act as a unit. NO, one should NOT change just for silly selfish reasons but it is a give and a take situations so everyone must be willing to compromise or meet the other halfway… which would involve change. Change we can believe in. I mean you would have to change in order to meet someone else halfway and a change that you may not just make on your own as it may not be a personal flaw. It is a change (not life goals and your foundation as a person) that improves the relationship.
Speak sistah!!!! I think the problem is, is that people think they can change others behavior and their mind. Sadly enough, a dog will always be a dog and an “AM call” should be called what it is…
I would really love to meet some of those relationshipey guys, but hold the clingy. I seem to keep meeting “I just want to hit it” guys. But of course, they see I ain’t budging, so they move on to the next for sex. Maybe it’s because I’m young and attract young & immature suckas?
“I’m not interested in a relationship right now”
When a man says that–believe him. It’s hard to be upset with an honest man, but we’ll do it if we feel like we can change his mind and fail.
True. He’s telling you what time it is, you can’t change that.
Believe it, either chill with him if you’re on the same page, or keep it moving if you’re not.
i honestly don’t think the majority (and i’m talking 98 percent here) of women ever truly believe a man when he says that. they just think he hasn’t come across the right woman (i.e. her). i’ve run into this problem a few times where a woman has actually told me that she thought i just hadn’t found the right one (i.e. her). lol. dames.
i find a lot of dudes like this too tho, when it comes to male-female interactions in general. always thinking they can change my mind about this (pda)that (s3x) or whatever (relationships). i’m not easily persuaded and i mean what i say and say what i mean, very rarely do i mince words. but dudes take this as a challenge and continually play themselves.
“i honestly don’t think the majority (and i’m talking 98 percent here) of women ever truly believe a man when he says that. ”
i do. this is open invitation and confirmation to multi-task dat @zz. But he can’t get brand new when you do. If thats your decision… attitudes can’t correspond with me beefin up the roster. I think thats only fair.
we forgot to mention that all the women who comment on vsb.com omiscient, omnipotent and omnipresent. they are perfect women who are goddesses and never fall head over heels and act rationally and know when to believe a man and when not to. and never cheat and all have that good good lol
peyso, i always fall hard, and i never know when to believe a man. so, i’m working on a litmus test but i can’t share the ingredients, because the patent is still pending. i’m gonna make a killing!
as for the cheating…uh no.
and the good good? don’t you read your vsb? no woman (or man) is supposed to answer that question! gheesh! (lol)
what’s the “good, good”? I’m not trying to be funny. I really don’t know.
the first flag is definitely some truth… i had that happen to me but i kept f*cking him (had some great p*nis) and then he caught feelings… too bad there was already a flag on the play!
“the first flag is definitely some truth… i had that happen to me but i kept f*cking him (had some great p*nis) and then he caught feelings… too bad there was already a flag on the play!”
Which is why some things are better left unsaid. I think most of us are initially out to hit it. I’ve never heard a man say “that is the woman I’m gonna marry” (it may happen, never seen it) . . . it is normally some variant of “I’m gonna smash”
We may see wifey material, but we know we have to go through the female vetting process (if she is normal). I believe a well adjusted man can complete this process without changing intentions . . . once the process is complete, it is then the man’s decision as to whether or not he would like something more with this woman. Saying it out in the open like that is kinda like taking yourself out of the race before it starts . . . or getting shot in the foot with the starter pistol . . . you may finish the race. . .not necessarily on your own terms.
i know a couple of men who said “that is the woman im gonna marry”….its cute, but they didnt marry her!
so if a guy who has been talking to me for a shorter than a month tells me “You’re going to be my girlfriend. I know this.” Is this a variant “I’m gonna smash and then I’m gonna be out”?
And wow @ the carpathia reference. That’s dope. Too bad you had to let her go.
Am I the only one that sometimes gets paranoid and wonders if Obama is a carpathia in disguise? He fits all the criteria and shyt.
I fear this too. He and Oprah.
dang, yall are deep. reminds me also of Manchurian Candidate type stuff. i mean, my biggest fear about Obama is some raunchy sex scandal lol
I fear this too. lol. That he’d be involved in some sex scandal that would be caught up on tape. And that the world would see him stroking in much the same way he danced on Ellen.
Makes me tear up just thinking about it.
And that the world would see him stroking in much the same way he danced on Ellen.
this also makes me tear up… from laughing so daggone hard! you are a mess!
I can only pray his dancing is not indicative of his stroke cuz in my dreams…um…nevamind.
Ok I’m tearing up at a hypothetical obama scandal, God/Jah/Allah/Jehova forbid
And also dyying at:
That he’d be involved in some sex scandal that would be caught up on tape. And that the world would see him stroking in much the same way he danced on Ellen.
you know, i pray Obama has the restraint of a thousand virgins b/c he has potential to get some of that NBA-level stank thrown his way…
hell, i know women who are trying to get internships and jobs at the White House right now…and he ain’t even not gotten elected yet.
btw, that last sentence was brought to you by the DC public school system.
“you know, i pray Obama has the restraint of a thousand virgins b/c he has potential to get some of that NBA-level stank thrown his way…”
I pray he came keep it together as well.
hell, i know women who are trying to get internships and jobs at the White House right now…and he ain’t even not gotten elected yet.
btw, that last sentence was brought to you by the DC public school system.
lol. was this one a product as well?
“I pray he came keep it together as well.”
i’m sure miss t-lee’s came from the Texas school system.
You know what? lol
I typed that ish kinda fast.
You don’t get me on typos too often, so relish that ish.
@ PJ
NBA-level has nothing on OBama, he is about to get some James Bond SUPERSPY, CARLOS (Ilich Ramírez Sánchez) type bedussy thrown his way
and he ain’t even not gotten elected yet.
LMAO way to represent the South Panama!
hey P! can you not throw our city under the bus? can we pretend to be proud?
i will tell you though, when Tabi Bonney did the song “Welcome to DC” and said something to the effect of, “even the mayor had a run in with crack, but we kept it real and voted him back”, I was like am i the only one hearing crack and realness in the same sentence?
if only he could expound.
Tabi Bonney can’t expound.
Him too wittle.
Tabi Bonney can’t expound.
Him too wittle.
agreed.
I fear this too. He and Oprah.
I fear it about Barack..Oprah has shown her cracks. But I keep thinking that he is too perfect
If Oprah is the devil, the world is in trouble.
That’s all I’ll say…
Word’em up.
Barack ain’t perfect. He smokes Kools. I don’t see perfect when I see him. I see awesomely human.
BARACK SMOKES!?!?!?!?!?!
O Jehovah, mphe matla……
*slumps into dead faint, muttering in seTswana*
“Barack ain’t perfect. He smokes Kools.”
I always wondered about his dark lips…
*flatlines________________*
Hey he may legalize herbal … high I mean good times
HAAAA! Ew.. he smokes? His attractiveness just went ‘nil for me.
Yeah Nicki he’s undercover, he’s been tryna stop for a while now.
yeah. as pointed out by one of my herbal loving stinky fart having vegan friends, obama definitely has weed lips.
yeah definitely weed lips.. unless he smokes filter less cigarettes.. no way to burn your lips with regular cigs cause the filter prevents the fire from getting to close no such prevention on a blunt(or joint if you old school…pass me the 1.5′s and Im straight!)
yeah those vegans sure do know how to clear out a 5 mile radius. gas mask anyone?
Yeah, either way, David Plouffe is looking out. Don’t sleep on DP.
Don’t sleep on DP
…………………………………………….
****i’m such a sixth grader, lol****
I’m upset I know where you’re going with that…lol
I gotta stop that.
i fear Harpo too.
*hold me*
i fear Harpo too.
You’s told Harpo to beat me?????
No matter, he still will be our first black president and he’s still a better choice than McCain. I hope Barack is a straight-up dude though.
“I fear this too. He and Oprah.”
actually my pastor did a sermon re Oprah and her Secret and it was not flattering, he prefaced it by saying I know some of you will be upset when I start talking about her…he basically said she did not acknowledge she was a Christian.. (don’t shoot the messenger)
So? Maybe she’s not Christian. Doesn’t mean she can’t believe in a higher power.
See, why I have a problem with the “church”!!!
“Am I the only one that sometimes gets paranoid and wonders if Obama is a carpathia in disguise? He fits all the criteria and shyt.”
i dont get paranoid, but i will say that he does fit the criteria of one of the fictional characters created by a couple orthodox christians.
i rebuke this message. why are we waiting for a black man to fyck up? why cant he be one of moral character and judgement…but my momma always says though that if you look hard enough for anything you;ll find it.
to that i say STOP LOOKING black people. stop looking.
That’s why I joined in your Divine SisterHood!
It’s like we are so scared of others finding faults in us, that we try to find them before they do.
Barack is AWESOME!
(and he quit smoking by the way)
wow…i am guilty of thinking the same thing…(ashamed as i sashay to the corner)
ayyf and paranoia go together.
“Am I the only one that sometimes gets paranoid and wonders if Obama is a carpathia in disguise?
fear thee not! …i bet u 5000 Amero’s that u need to “follow the money” before these governmental figureheads.
carpathia obama? many politicians are but willing conspirators to whats really poppin. even with all our tax dollars governments bum money too. the defecit and such. who does the gov borrow from? i know right…
thieves in the temple tonight. Jesus meets the moneychangers.
turning over tables, slashing throats cha boi,
b.k.a gets it in.
when a guy says…
1. i don’t go out much = socially inept
2. i’ve experimented with a few drugs= he’s a current drug user. and a hard drug user.
3. i call my mother by her first name/i don’t talk to my mother= trust issues.
4. my boy cheats on his wife, but we’re still cool= moral code, not so much.
5. i used to be a real dyck, i fcuked a different girl every week back in the day= he still does.
6. i just wanna kick it= he’s not looking for a relationship with you or anyone else. next…
“i just wanna kick it= he’s not looking for a relationship with you or anyone else. next…”
Overall, I agree with this 100 percent. But I’ve had two dudes who dropped this line on me who ended up being long-term boyfriends. Weird exceptions to the rule.
1. i don’t go out much = socially inept
this sounds like Champie
That sounds like my ex. He liked me better as his laptop stand instead of as his girlfriend.
*throat punch* to that guy.
chaos i think i’d like you better as a laptop than a laptop stand anyday. slim goodies. i c u.
embrace urself.
lol. That actually made me smile.
this sounds like Champie
*snickering*
“1. i don’t go out much = socially inept
this sounds like Champie”
champie deez
7. he says “i don’t get seinfeld”= no sense of humor and won’t get mine. also may have problems with the chosen people.
8. he says “i don’t really read books all that much”= he’s trying to impress you by not admitting that he doesn’t read at all. he’s a terrible conversationalist and you’ll run out of things to talk about halfway through the first date.
9. he says “you’re a good girl”= he’s used to dating hood rats and still bags them on the side.
“7. he says “i don’t get seinfeld”= no sense of humor and won’t get mine. also may have problems with the chosen people.”
cosign and LMAO
Yeah, if he doesn’t get Seinfeld…man…it’s gonna be a long night.
lmao @ “also may have problems with the chosen people”
all this laughter is tiring me out. should be a good night’s sleep–thanks gals!
Sweet baby Jesus in the library!! I have experienced number 8. When he saw the guffaw, he tried to back out of it by saying he only read career related materials.
“he tried to back out of it by saying he only read career related materials.”
That was supposed to make it better? lol.
I have to say, I was sooo turned on by a guy who, on his coffee table, had both of Obama’s books, one of Edgwidge Danticatt’s books, the Bible and the Karma Sutra. Upon further investigation, I discovered that he’d read them all.
That’s my kinda man.
Cosign.
“I have to say, I was sooo turned on by a guy who, on his coffee table, had both of Obama’s books, one of Edgwidge Danticatt’s books, the Bible and the Karma Sutra. Upon further investigation, I discovered that he’d read them all.”
vsb.com: where evidence of women being gamed happens
Well, it was good, literary game.
Lol ol ol!
lol…yeah, you’re right.
vsb.com: where evidence of women being gamed happens
Don’t worry Champ, Maxim kinda counts. Baby steps…
how about blacktail?
I have a “friend” that has on his nightstand a plethora of books including the Kama Sutra and erotic tales, one authored by the Marquis de Sade and such, whenever I see the neatly kept stack I laugh.
he has the works of the Marquis de Sade? You hang with said person?
woah… either he’s a pretentious f**k who THINKS people don’t know who that is, or he gets off on that crap…
either way….
he’s a pretentious f**k
eagh… pretentious f**ks…
ewww… my stomach just turned.
Who is he V.E.G.I’m a sucker for readers. My best friend and I both pre-ordered Harry Potter #7, went back to my crib, and layed out on the couches and read all day, only breaking for food and toiletries.
I was like my dude needs to read like that.
“My best friend and I both pre-ordered Harry Potter #7, went back to my crib, and layed out on the couches and read all day, only breaking for food and toiletries.”
when you laid down, did you all take off your pocket protectors or just keep em where they were
when you laid down, did you all take off your pocket protectors or just keep em where they were
keep it up champ.
i don’t even know what blacktail is, but it probably does not count.
blaspheny to u know knowing what blacktail is
When he saw the guffaw, he tried to back out of it by saying he only read career related materials.
lol…he actually saw the guffaw? like, did you laugh so hard that a literal “haha” formed out of your mouth?
“he actually saw the guffaw? like, did you laugh so hard that a literal “haha” formed out of your mouth?”
*Blinks*
Yes. I remember it clearly. I opened my mouth, nothing came out. There was like a sound delay. I saw the bubble form over my head. So did he because he looked up at it. THEN the sound came out. He saw the guffaw way before he heard it.
You smart ass!
he says “i don’t really read books all that much”= he’s trying to impress you by not admitting that he doesn’t read at all. he’s a terrible conversationalist and you’ll run out of things to talk about halfway through the first date.
or how about a dude that says he loves to read… and when you ask him what he says
“Shakespeare”
Uh say what fool? LMAO if you dont read enough to even come up with a plausible response thats an immediate TKO…
“immediate TKO…”
Think I’d betta let it go…
Looks like another love TKO…
*sorry. I am hyped up on peach cobbler and can’t sleep. lol*
“he says “i don’t get seinfeld”= no sense of humor and won’t get mine. also may have problems with the chosen people”
LOL. I am not a Seinfeld fan… now “the Office” or “American Dad” or “Family Guy?” That’s my kind of humor.
*hi five* on The Office! yay!
I love them all (except American Dad). If someone doesn’t get The Office or Family Guy I want to forget I ever knew them
that’s very true for me as well. Family Guy has never disappointed me. if you don’t think its funny i will think you lack a soul and only watch C-SPAN or the NASA Channel which only shows a computer generated screen of some launched spacecrafts orbit around the galaxy, which is akin to watching a puma f*cking a paint can.
a puma f*cking a paint can might be interesting though
I love them all (except American Dad). If someone doesn’t get The Office or Family Guy I want to forget I ever knew them
yeah American Dad is not that funny to me…and I will give break for the office because its only kind of funny if you have not worked in that environment….but Family guy? you know that shyt funny…you just dont want to admit it…and that means you are a pretentious prick so I cant fugs wit cha…
I think the baby is my favorite guys.
7. he says “i don’t get seinfeld”= no sense of humor and won’t get mine. also may have problems with the chosen people.
This is too hilarious
7. he says “i don’t get seinfeld”= no sense of humor and won’t get mine. also may have problems with the chosen people.
yeah…someone doesnt hafta be funny…but at least understand and appreciate comedic genius (ie: “the champ”)
and by comedic genius you mean- laughs at his own jokes which include the following 4 daily standards:
“i need my f*cking toast”
“vsb: where ____happens”
“[copy and paste reader comment] since 1913″
“that’s what she said” (plagiarized from “the office”)
“that almost made me choke on my [insert borderline alcoholic breakfast combo]
*snickering*
Miss P–
me likes you
i’m with you on the non-reading thing. i loathe a heffa who’s idea of education is a glossy mag.
that’s actually something i look for when i enter a chick’s home: books.
you ain’t got none, you don’t get none.
Amen!
Especially the Seinfeld reference.
2. i call my mother by her first name/i don’t talk to my mother= trust issues.
I stopped dating a guy after I heard him call his mom a “B” and then he wanted to know why. After I told him why, he was like, “she made me mad”, yada yada. I was like I don’t care. If you don’t respect your mama, then I know if we were to be in a relationship, you wouldn’t respect me.
Relationship tip for today: Do Not Ignore Red Flags (thanks Champ for bringing this tip to the light)
“I stopped dating a guy after I heard him call his mom a “B” and then he wanted to know why”
stopped dating? you should have kick him in the nutz, lol.
oh, and ummmm…
“…thanks Champ for bringing this tip to the light…”
i’m just gonna leave that one alone. its too easy
“4. my boy cheats on his wife, but we’re still cool= moral code, not so much.”
I disagree with this one. Difficult concept for some women out there but sometimes you just stay out of other grown folks business. Would you not be friends w/ ur home girl if she was stepping out on her ole man?
Yeah, I agree with you. I have a couple of friends that do things I frown upon, but they have always been good friends to me. That doesn’t make me a bad woman, it simply means I know flawed human beings.
With that being said, I can totally understand why this would be a flag for some people, I just try never to judge the man I’m dating by the actions of others unless he specifically gives me a reason to.
I was going to just lurk today, but I had to come out and agree with you on this one.
My husband’s friends are some of the most trife dudes ever. Almost all of them cheat on their wives/gfs regularly… and the wives/gfs cheat as well. When we first started dating, this BOTHERED me… I almost broke it off with him. I told him that to be with me, he needed better friends…
He told me that he understood my concerns, but then asked me if he ever gave me a reson to suspect that he was like his boys… upon serious consideration it dawned on me that he wasn’t. Never once did he ever support/condone the actions of his boys, even though their wives were stepping out on them as well.
I understand why this situation would cause serious trepidation in the hearts of many. Especially when you first start seeing someone. And if it appears that he is okay with and even justifies his friends’ behavior to you then RUN LIKE H3LL! But if not then give him a chance…
“And if it appears that he is okay with and even justifies his friends’ behavior to you then RUN LIKE H3LL!”
Yeah, I think this is the key.
“4. my boy cheats on his wife, but we’re still cool= moral code, not so much.”
I disagree with this one. Difficult concept for some women out there but sometimes you just stay out of other grown folks business. Would you not be friends w/ ur home girl if she was stepping out on her ole man?
you know what though, although this is off topic, i understand where miss p is coming from. like, i don’t see how someone could stay close friends with a person who habitually cheats on their mate/spouse. its not even so much a moral issue as much as a personally selfish one.
my thinking: if they’re willing to treat a person they claim to love dirty like that…what the hell would they do to me if given the opportunity??
I think habitual is the key. Did he mess up once? Not ideal but okay. Does he go out with the boys, pretending not to be married, looking for new chicks every night? Indicative of a problem, in both him and his wife (cause she is likely willfully ignorant) and doesn’t reflect well on the dude trying to holla at me.
” Did he mess up once?”
and that really is the only gray here all else is black and it can’t get no blacker. I’ve made business decisions based on a man actively cheating on his wife. I’ve also questioned my man’s friend’s behavior as well and it goes past “cheating on his wife/gf”. In order to cheat you have to actively LIE, finagle (sp), sidestep, manipulate others to co-sign your whereabouts.
thats not somebdoy i would want in my home to water my plants and feed my fish if i was out of town. a cheater just isnt a cheater…there alot of other things too.
“my thinking: if they’re willing to treat a person they claim to love dirty like that…what the hell would they do to me if given the opportunity??”
i ve had so called completely righteous and stand up people sh*t on me in the past on the strength of their own insecurities, so i would like to attribute that to the cause of cheating, more so than selfishness…
4. my boy cheats on his wife, but we’re still cool
For me this one is not so black and white and it depends. It’s not so much if he’s cool with his friend but more if he agrees with and is a fan of what he’s doing. I have friends that do things I disagree with, but I can still be cool with them. (don’t we all have that one friend that’s just a little bit…different?)
I’d also look to see if ALL of his friends cheat. One can be an anomaly, but if the majority of them do it I’d see that as a huge flag.
1. i don’t go out much = socially inept – what if you stay in a wack city where there aren’t any young black professionals and every time you do go out, you meet chicks like the one in Champ’s post? (read: Philadelphia)
2. i’ve experimented with a few drugs= he’s a current drug user. and a hard drug user. – current? “with so many amendments in the constitution, I can only choose one…”, hard user not at all, I let the 2520′s do that
5. i used to be a real dyck, i fcuked a different girl every week back in the day = he still does. – It’s a phase we all go through…a very fun phase at that. Unfortunately, it gets old.
6. i just wanna kick it= he’s not looking for a relationship with you or anyone else. next… – sometimes by the time we meet you, we don’t consider you wifey material, but you are cool/cute enough date (read: have $ex with) while avoiding committment as long as possible….or maybe you just have a really phat a** and a wack personality? Or maybe your pulling the “relationship talk” trigger a bit early and I just want to shut you up?
Just wanted to provide some clarity in case we ever date haha.
Good Answer.
1. if you live in a wack city, go to citysearch, or read the underground creative loafing-esque magazine and discover your city…or move. there is something out there. philly ain’t erie, pa. (and even in erie, you can go skip rocks or hang out by the train tracks and shoot rabbits)
2. can’t do drug users, sorry. been there done that.
3. why men gotta go through this ho phase? even if it’s temporary, i’ll never understand this. i mean, do y’all like going to the free clinic that much? (lol)
4. actually, i’m usually finding men who just aren’t ready to commit…but they’re ready to do all the things that come with commitment…i.e.) regular booty and other requests.
*fyi- after reading this post and all gazillion comments i caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and noticed someone put a big red flag on my back. wtf? NEWS ALERT: miss p just kissed dating goodbye…*giggling* i crack myself up, this is actually the name of a book my pastor gave me in the ATL.
ummm Mr. Westside?
I work in Philly (live in Jersey)…. how long have you been here and where have you been looking to meet people/hang out?
a red flag for me is a man who is extremely close with his mother. i’m talking d@mn near attached by an umbilical cord, sharing fluids and nutrients and ish type of close. most of the time these men are emotionally unavailable. the mother never thinks any woman is good enough and likely will disrespect the gf and the relationship and eventually tear things apart. there’s just nothing good that can come out of a relationship with a mama’s boy who thinks he’s still in the womb.
I can’t deal with mama’s boys. I mean, I think it’s at 14, latest 15 that one should stop breastfeeding. A grown-ass 16yo should not be pulling no lactose intolerance anymore. There’s soy milk!
exactly. let go and step away from the teet.
step away from the teet
possible t-shirt, especially for day care workers
apparently its still oh to breastfeed at 15.
mama’s boy= wife beater tendencies bubbling under the surface.
YUP. my girl’s ex husband is a momma’s boy…let’s say he got free with his fist one night and I offered to loan her my brothers to handle that.
mama’s boy= wife beater tendencies bubbling under the surface.
please expound, miss p
*a number of sociopaths suffer from this affliction. they have an idealized view of their mother combined with an underlying resentment towards her and her life long controlling behavior. when met with an opportunity to fly from the nest (i.e. -marriage) they play out this resentment in very aggressive and/or violent behavior towards potential mates. (norman bates type)
*the other scenario is a mama’s boy whose idealized view of mother is the prototype for all potential mates. he harbors no resentment towards his mother, but he feels threatened by independent women and this competes with his idea of what qualities a woman should possess (i.e. doting on him). so, when she does cater to herself rather then him…violence occurs.
Whoa. Agreed!
what about the mama’s boy who’s momma is an independent woman?
Truisms…Miss Patterson has them.
i’m talking d@mn near attached by an umbilical cord, sharing fluids and nutrients and ish type of clos
ummm, thanks for the imagery gem. you just ruined my toast
LOL
A guy that has the leave call voicemail call pattern if you are supposed to meet at 8 pm and I have 6 missed calls at 4 and 3 voicemails even if they are all nice? its o-v
or a guy that leaves a voicemail everytime he calls especially if they are all I was just calling to see…type joints…C-R-A-Z-Y
If he is 28 or 0lder and has never lived by himself
I think I am dating your exes minus the never lived alone part. lol.
ditto lol
I think I am dating your exes minus the never lived alone part. lol
RUN GIRL RUN!!!!
these days… i don’t see the reason to leave a voicemail unless it’s something important. otherwise, we all got caller i.d.
i’m not a phone person, so chatting just to chat isn’t for me. so if you don’t leave a vmail to tell me why you called, i’m not likely calling back. i have friends who call just to say hi (um thanks?) or they forget to keylock their phones so they call me by accident or they need some one to keep them company on their train ride home. seeing that some one called is pretty meaningless to me.
“i’m not a phone person, so chatting just to chat isn’t for me. so if you don’t leave a vmail to tell me why you called, i’m not likely calling back. i have friends who call just to say hi (um thanks?) or they forget to keylock their phones so they call me by accident or they need some one to keep them company on their train ride home. seeing that some one called is pretty meaningless to me.”
Thank GOD a woman is saying this . . . I have a friend that calls me at 11 o clock at night a few times a week to speak for hours . . . we are cool but you gonna have to move closer, call earlier, something . . . I cannot be on the phone for hours unless you are my exact personality match and the hours fly . . . I dont want to hear you sing songs and complain for 3 hours! (venting)
When a guy ignores text messages/questions about the two of you. I have this guy who I’m re-connecting with (its complicated, but we never dated or got serious for reasons that I’d rather not expound on). But seriously, it drives me insane to hear him always talk about how we should eventually be a couple, and then when I call myself asking anything ranging from a simple “I miss you” all the way to asking when are we planning to get together, he ignores them, then claims that he never gets those texts/phone messages, but gets the rest of them.
Another flag is the guy who always wants you to come over his house, or someplace secluded where its just him, or just him and one friend, and never anywhere where people would see him out with you. I have another guy like that who refused to go to an Obama rally with me as a friend, but wanted me to come over afterwards. I swear I will never drunk dial again…
Another red flag is when a guy makes controlling statements. At one point, I met this guy, who played this little shy role, but then would be sending me texts or calling me on some “You NEED to come over and give me a massage” or “You NEED to come see me today”. All that controlling crazy shiznit has to go…
And of course, my favorite: the older guy after the younger girl. I must say, I’ve been intrigued by some of these guys because we’ve gotten to know each other (in a non-sexual way), which may complicate the situation a bit. But seriously, if you are 40 ish and you have a masters, money, and well, everything, why are you interested in being with a 20 something person who doesn’t have shiznit, who lives with her parents, and who doesn’t have a degree? Do they know how wrong that looks on both parties? 25 and 40 are ok, but 22 and under is a no-go.
uhhhh to address your 1st point–i don’t think those things should be discussed over text in the 1st place. if you really serious about knowing how he feels about you, yall need to talk one-on-one. all this talk about “we should do” this that and the 3rd is some bull if yall still aren’t together. you either in a relationship or you not, it ain’t brain science. sounds like some one is playin games.
co-sign with Gem on the “text discussions”. That is for face to face.
But overall, methinks you need to clear the stable out and get some new contenders.
Though my mens have been and prolly will continue to be crazy, they’ve all at least made me feel like the Queen Bee my parents told me I was.
Don’t waste time being brushed off/hidden away by some dude who is too foolish to realize how fly you are.
Though my mens have been and prolly will continue to be crazy, they’ve all at least made me feel like the Queen Bee my parents told me I was.
oh yeah girl, the crazy ones know how to put you on a pedestal and worship. problem is–they’re simultaneously building a titanium gate around said pedestal with an intercom system for constant communication and a camera above recording your every move. it gets tricky.
An example of the crazy magnet that V.E.G. is: there’s a guy I dated for about 6 months. I have not returned his calls or texts in a year. I promise you that he calls and texts me twice a week. As much I want to think it is, I cannot accept that my *stuff* is that good that it caused him to misplace his dignity. It was flattering for a month. Funny for three. But now I can only conclude that he is crazy and I am glad I am not seeing him anymore. I am also glad that I have since moved.
wow, 6mo?? you’re a good one for that. but i feel you on it going from flattering to funny to straight up freakishly disturbing. the crazies i deal with never even got so much as a whiff so i’m still unclear on why they were so pressed. *smh* i think there’s something in the water here…
Woo! Church! I need a fan up in here. Amen and Amen!
“Don’t waste time being brushed off/hidden away by some dude who is too foolish to realize how fly you are.”
that is so relevant. ugh. you should write a book. “and sh*t.” lol
“Don’t waste time being brushed off/hidden away by some dude who is too foolish to realize how fly you are.”
werd up.. i got 2 exes calling me like crazy right now… when i was all up in their face, they would make me the last thing they did for the day; never take me anywhere, only come thru at nite, now i peep game (better late than never i always say), i got somebody doin it the way i need it, and so now phone calls and texts are completely ignored just liek they did to me…
“When a guy ignores text messages”
yeah umm i agree with the ladies..cut the texting out. in fact i wouldn’t even respond to texts with men you first meet (esp this “reconnection business). That way you can really get a feel for the tone and the rhythm. Some men you can break of this habit early on, by just not responding to stupid greeting type stuff that justifys a dam#n call.
sadly though once you get into a text flow with a man …its a hard habit to break him out of.
When a guy ignores text messages”
I would consider a guy trying to have meaningful text conversations with me a red flag anyway.. WTF?
especially if he is using text talk.. that shyt is irritating as he.ll
“sadly though once you get into a text flow with a man …its a hard habit to break him out of.”
Comeback, sho you right. One guy I was dating wouldn’t answer his phone but he sure would text a sister religiously. I stopped texting him back and now we no longer communicate. All he had to do was pick up the phone and call, but he didn’t–so that was the end of that.
“sadly though once you get into a text flow with a man …its a hard habit to break him out of.”
When will I learn this, dammit….
You gotta cut that off after 3 messages (max!). If we’re having a convo either I’m calling or I’ll ask him to call me.
I can’t be texting you all day, I can’t stand that ish.
deactivate that shyt??? for real LOL…technically speaking there are reliablility and redundancy issues with doing this and I won’t get into them here. And sometimes they just show up BUT…its a mental excercise too. It means that you aren’t accepting that kind of behavior.
to me “can we go out tomorrow” and other regular phone salutations are UNACCEPTANBLE. since i turned mine off (though i do still get some texts)..its made men call. And its allowed me to be really exact about this issue. meaning im not accepting it. So when texts appear i dont even “see” them.
its got women out here who would prefer to “talk” to a man via this medium. I don;t understand it. particularly when she later explains he has problems communicating. uhh yeah right.
“deactivate that shyt!!!!!”
removing question marks ..deactivate!!!
“its a mental excercise too. It means that you aren’t accepting that kind of behavior.”
That’s real. I am getting my CBG on, starting today. Thanks for the words o’ wisdom.
technically speaking there are reliablility and redundancy issues with doing this and I won’t get into them here
please do
i need a white board..does vsb have a virtual one?
Just use Champ’s forehead, its big enough.
“Just use Champ’s forehead, its big enough”
ok rubbing champie poo poo’s head down …draws one pair of STPs to the SM platform. Demonstrates around Champie Poo Poo’s ear where GTT could be done for SMTP point to point delivery bypassing any care platform that may have toggled the service off.
**runs out of space for mobile registration scenarios**
” I swear I will never drunk dial again…”
This is a Red Flag in itself. . . Chicks that Drunk Dia
…It was a looong night, and a rough week…lol…
“I miss you”
this is a loaded text message, and its perfectly understandable if someone chooses to ignore it.
please expound.
How do you possibly answer that question from someone who’s not A. Your girlfriend/wife, or B. a significant family member?
Its an awkward ass question. I have a system of answering it based on the “relationship” as I see it.
Friends = “yeah of course”
Potentials = “lol, good morning/afternoon to you too”
Randoms = “and I missed breakfast”
No, that makes sense. You should never ask someone if they miss you. I think Champ is saying that if someone texts you and says, “I miss you”, that its okay to ignore it, which is why I asked for further explanation.
I personally don’t do the I miss you thing first…I’d rather be the one to respond to it, especially if we haven’t known each other long. After that though, if I feel like I miss you, I have no problem saying/texting that.
dorian summed it um perfectly
Is this why we stopped chatting DG? but I did miss you
No actually its cuz you didn’t make pancakes for me for breakfast. I love my pancakes.
but I thought what I did in lieu of breakfast was just as satisfying? No?
complete lack of communication
“but I thought what I did in lieu of breakfast was just as satisfying? No?”
Cleaning my bathtub? No not really actually.
“Cleaning my bathtub…”
Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
I cleaned the pipes not the tub… get your lingo straight!
“How do you possibly answer that question from someone who’s not A. Your girlfriend/wife, or B. a significant family member?”
True story – college cafeteria – see frat brother and a girl that I haven’t seen in a few weeks but have no connection to whatsoever.
Me: What’s going on y’all?
Frat Brother: Chillin
Girl: Not much, I’ve missed you
Me: That’s crazy
*blank stares*
Later on in quad . . .
Frat Brother: YO {Girl} said she missed you and you told her that’s crazy
Me: This is how I will always answer such unsolicited public displays of affection.
no moral to this story, just thought id share something that makes me laugh on occasion.
Randoms = “and I missed breakfast”
classic.
I would ignore it too. Especially if we haven’t been talking on the phone or you don’t know anything about my schedule (i.e knowing I’m in class or something along those lines).
If we have just started dating, then there is no place for “I miss you” in text!
And of course, my favorite: the older guy after the younger girl. I must say, I’ve been intrigued by some of these guys because we’ve gotten to know each other (in a non-sexual way), which may complicate the situation a bit. But seriously, if you are 40 ish and you have a masters, money, and well, everything, why are you interested in being with a 20 something person who doesn’t have shiznit, who lives with her parents, and who doesn’t have a degree? Do they know how wrong that looks on both parties? 25 and 40 are ok, but 22 and under is a no-go.
you know whats funny about this? a few years ago, a female friend of mine was on my case for dating a 22 year old (i was 27), even railing on about how all the guys my age seem to want fresh out of college chicks, but she saw no hypocrisy in the fact that all of the men she dated were 30 plus (she was 26).
moral of the story: i never should have slept with her
why are you interested in being with a 20 something person who doesn’t have shiznit, who lives with her parents, and who doesn’t have a degree?
1. she’s still perky.
b. you can control her b/c ultimately she doesn’t have her own sh*t
D. he aint trynna get married but wants a nice young jumpoff, who’s naive enough to think the relationship might be going somewhere, so she ain’t leaving
ding ding ding!
Too true. Too true…
…and she’s easily impressed
example:
champ: “…anyway though, we’ll stop at the chic-fila in the mall on the way back. ”
youngie: ***slowly begins to kneel and unzip champ’s fly***
ladies, the guy from case 1 lives a cool 600 miles away from me…which is why my cases are more complicated than I let on. So sometimes (when minutes aren’t free), text is all you have…
chaos laments:
“… I have that much more of a reason to stop dating altogether. I admit I suck at judging character at times, but at least I don’t put all my eggs in one basket.”
attends pity party. ur just young and perhaps earning ur wisdom. the game is so fly, i’m inspired by it, i admire it, i analyze it, i chop it up, i serve it. not necessarily in that mu fu*king order neither.
red tags u and lets u go…
Its not a pity party. I hate when people pity me. I find it more of a “state my case thing”.
Besides, I’d much rather stay away from serious dating and go out to just have fun (which is what I’ve been doing). I’m learning that boyfriends are overrated.
I’m learning that boyfriends are overrated.
oddly enough, liz feels the exact same way about showers
If all they do is text you, then of course they are overrated!
My so lives a cool 6000+ miles from me. And we do talk twice a day…. on the phone.
The texting-only dude is a red flag all by himself.
…and with all of the comments left behind, I have that much more of a reason to stop dating altogether. I admit I suck at judging character at times, but at least I don’t put all my eggs in one basket.
But if it helps any, the guy from case 1 and I have a bit of a history…so he’s not some guy that I just met and started having text convos with.
how old are you, chaotic one, if you dont mind me asking?
Too young for you my dude.
Now me however, I wasn’t born when Thriller came out, I’m just saying chaotic…
22…dude, you’re like, what 3 years older than I…
I’m old in the game now. Nothing gets past me. I see it all. And when I see crazy coming, I cross the street.
I try but crazy follows me across the street and tackles me.
Oh yeah? Well, I got somethin’ nice in my purse for his azz if he gets out of pocket w/me. Crazy better get the h3ll on. Get yourself a weapon, VEG. Testicle-shrinking sarcasm works best for me.
lmao V.E.G. me too girl!!! we need to hire PBG as our personal security guard. give her some glittered shades and a bedazzled piece, we’d be straight!
PBG should teach crazy defense classes.
Lesson #1: Smile and look sweet.
Lesson #2: Cut him low. Real low, real deep.
Lesson #3: Run like h3ll.
The End.
And thank you for the glittery shades. I’m feelin’ them, for real.
what about the bedazzled semi-automatic firearm?? you no likey?? if we switch to geico we could save some money to upgrade to something diamond crusted.
“if we switch to geico we could save some money to upgrade to something diamond crusted.”
bwwwaaaah.
Gem, that firearm is too impersonal. You gotta get right up in Crazy’s face to make him leave you alone. That calls for a more intimate weapon, ya dig?
We should switch to Geico anyway though. I hear that’s a boss move out on the boulevard.
lmao PBG i’m going to start calling you sensei-licious becuz you be droppin straight knowledge, diva style! i love it i love it i love it
Gem, that firearm is too impersonal. You gotta get right up in Crazy’s face to make him leave you alone. That calls for a more intimate weapon, ya dig?
SHYT.. I f!cks with the firearm tough… sometimes you need something that will blow crazy off yo a$$… a ni%%a can be crazy enought to get cut and not realize it and choke yo a$$ out through the pain.. but a 380 or a 40 or 45 cal will get him up off ya real quick….
yeah, Shay. Sometimes you want to kill crazy dead.
And when I see crazy coming, I cross the street.
this is exactly how i feel about intellectual hedonist
You aint never seen me cumin, cause if you did you would be following me around
Any dude who after four dates is proclaiming his love/asking your intentions toward him.
An ex who, after six years of no contact, proclaims his undying love for you when you ask how old his 2 kids are.
Yup…same guy.
well, at least he’s consistent
yeah. consistently crazy.
O.M.G. you are my dating/relationship twin, VEG! my girls know (ask Ivy) that as soon as a dude starts gettin too emotionally attached early in the game, i check out. even if the dude is real cool and we’re vibin, i’m out yo.
“as soon as a dude starts gettin too emotionally attached early in the game, i check out.”
*hugs twin* I KNEW I had a sista somewhere in this world. lol.
I don’t trust that nonsense. I mean…I am a woman and if I can keep all the stuff that’s runnin through my head silent, why can’t a man?
lol.
Scares me off. I make tracks…
lol *hugs twin back* awwww
i sooo feel you! i remember i was dating this guy for a month or so. we saw each other about once a week, if that. i went out of town for a week and he picked me up from the airport. he gave me the biggest, tighest, longest hug ever and was like “i missed you soooo much.” i was like WTF?? i was gone for 6 days! i likely wouldn’t have seen you even if i was in town. get.a.life…. immediately… disconnected from mine, that is.
how about a dude I met at a club while home one weekend during fall break or something.. we talked on the phone (he was a caller, voicemail, caller) maybe 2 times a week for 2 weeks….drove his a$$ up to my school and had campus police tell him which dorm I lived in? This fool sat in the lobby ALL DAY until I walked in from class..When I saw him I was like is this a sitcom? this shyt happens in real life? and then had the nerve to try to get incredible hulk when I told him to hit the road.. Campus Police..get ya boy…..
You coulda used that bejeweled .45…
You coulda used that bejeweled .45…
girl I wasnt old enough.. but when I tell you if I could have gotten a permit at midnight on my 21st birthday, I would have… he was yelling causing a scene and shyt.. I hate public embarrasment with a passion.
this story made me smile.
and, on a related note, crazy dudes have a hell of a memory. how did i give you a fake name in walmart while walking the h*ll on to get away from you, and you randomly see me 2 years later calling me out all loud and wrong like we have history or something!? who is you?
“i went out of town for a week and he picked me up from the airport. he gave me the biggest, tighest, longest hug ever and was like “i missed you soooo much.””
That would have melted my heart and shyt.
it might have melted mine if i felt the same. but it just let me know we weren’t on the same page, you know?? that’s when we had to have the “talk” and that was just… umm… well… pitiful.
LOL, I feel it. It sucks when you’re just not that into him.
“i went out of town for a week and he picked me up from the airport. he gave me the biggest, tighest, longest hug ever and was like “i missed you soooo much.””
That would have melted my heart and shyt.
speaking of which, come here. i havent had a hug from you all week and sh*t
awwwwww
*walks into Champ’s open arms*
Make it a good one, please.
“Make it a good one, please.”
isnt it always?
I mean, I’m just saying….I’m having one of those days n shyt.
“That would have melted my heart and shyt.”
he would’ve gotten the best Brain in the car on the ride home
“(ask Ivy) that as soon as a dude starts getting too emotionally attached early in the game, i check out.”
Gem your stories always make me laugh. LOL! It has gotten to the point where I feel like I have to pull them aside and be like, “yo brotha keep your feelings to yourself and even if u get the urge to say you miss her, say something else!” LOL!
ivy, you are the gem relationship guardian. always trying to help the brothas out! lol and i appreciate you for it. hopefully this next one will heed the advice
“even if the dude is real cool and we’re vibin, i’m out yo.”
we need to update your slang.
Okay! I felt like I was at a Zhane video shoot.
Okay! I felt like I was at a Zhane video shoot.
***guffawing***
hey hey hey. leave my slang alone. i say what i feel ok?? so i’m outdated, why do you care??
Any dude who after four dates is proclaiming his love/asking your intentions toward him.
how about a chick pulling this after two? cuz that chick had to go. hell, i didn’t even know the first time we kicked it was a date. lol. that’s when we met!
Gosh, I dated this guy!!! Like 8 years ago!
Just this morning, he sent me a nice Hello Love email. WTF?????
Well the subtle thing that changes my thoughts to farina and browned bread spread with oleo are variations of these statements within the first couple-few months of dating:
“I could see myself:
…. really falling for you”
….falling in love with you”
….with you forever.”
These are flags that this person is in love with love or the idea of you, so will move things entirely too fast and also will not be rational if AND when there is a breakup….
LMBAO at “trial version”. too funny. Brava!
“i could see myself with you forever.”
did this actually happen, or is this just urban legend?
my guess is that’s something that really happened b/c i’ve ALSO had a chick tell me that she could not get into Heaven without me by her side.
and i’m totally not making that up.
my guess is that’s something that really happened b/c i’ve ALSO had a chick tell me that she could not get into Heaven without me by her side.
so, knowing that you’re not with her anymore, you’ve basically banished her to hell.
that must suck
she’ll be alright. i guess.
misery loves company, cause you know Pan D Jams isn’t getting past St. Pete
“…had a chick tell me that she could not get into Heaven without me by her side.”
I’m sorry, but this is a completely slappable offense. I mean, I would want to slap the dude that said this ridiculous shyt to me so bad, but I wouldn’t. But I definitely would get up and walk away from him, no matter WHERE we were. If we were in my house and he said it, I’d go outside and sit in my car. This level of f*ckery is inexcusable.
really happened on multiple occaisons with otherwise “seemingly normal” cats
A man who professes his love when souped on herbal refreshments or Patron and tries to convince you that you feel the same.
whoa whoa whoa…that is TOTALLY legit and i reject your assertion that inebriated delusions of love are red flags!
besides, i meant it that first time i saw her. the fact that i didn’t recognize her the second time i saw her is a completely moot point.
oh wait, this ain’t about me is it?!
Co-Sign, intoxicated utterances of love and adoration are quite legit. Often ill-timed, inappropriate, and hilarious…but definitely legit.
“Co-Sign, intoxicated utterances of love and adoration are quite legit. Often ill-timed, inappropriate, and hilarious…but definitely l”
If this is so, I am depressed.
as funny as Pan D Jam’s comment was I totally agree. Damn that is two agreements in a week.
Cornell Westside summed it up best
“intoxicated utterances of love and adoration are quite legit. Often ill-timed, inappropriate, and hilarious…but definitely legit.”
I remember my first time like it was yesterday. I swear Patron is truth serum concocted by the CIA
Champie poo poo, Gem and Killa nice pic..can we get some feng shui going on in the background tho…
i think i’ve written this before. My flags are really basic and telling particularly on the first or second date. Everyone is representing their rep..but i pay careful attention to the way he drives (failing to signal, cutting people off-indicative of selfish personality issues), how he treats waitstaff including propensity to tip (is he nice, respectful to others, graps the basics of social/dining etiquette), does he order complete meals for me before I’ve had a chance to even look at the menu (domineering).
Touchy Touchy Feely Feely on the first date (tryna hit or test boundaries), welcomed only if there is sex@ual chemistry.
finally and most importantly does he laugh at my jokes. if i get blank stares …its a wrap cause my humor is all over the place and i need to know brotha man can flow.
“Touchy Touchy Feely Feely on the first date (tryna hit or test boundaries), welcomed only if there is sex@ual chemistry.”
co-sign. If I am crouched into a corner with my keys positioned so they could be used as a weapon, why would any man think it is ok to, at that very moment, turn into an octopus on me?
I give off very obvious ‘this ain’t happenin’ signals yet some fools ignore them. They get saved into the phone as “crazy” so I can make sure I don’t answer.
“co-sign. If I am crouched into a corner with my keys positioned so they could be used as a weapon, why would any man think it is ok to, at that very moment, turn into an octopus on me?”
LOL..yeah some men aren’t good sex@ual chemistry readers. keys and crouching isn’t a sign to feel all up on my leg and thigh.
keys and crouching isn’t a sign to feel all up on my leg and thigh
what? whats foreplay without a key and a little crouching???
“what? whats foreplay without a key and a little crouching???”
*side-eye*
sounds kinda freaky ..i may have to holla at me a locksmith. lol investigate crouching tiger hidden keyhole..(shut up erryone i know that was stupid.) lol
LMAO!
thanks CBG
and i think you have a great flag list. problem for me is, i pay attn to similar signs (driving, dining, etc) but i’ve still missed the “i’m a stalker in training” signs. i’m getting better, but it’s still a struggle. it’s like i have a tattoo on my forehead that says “if you’re on the brink of being mentally unstable, you probably have a chance at dating me for at least a month.” it’s a long tattoo but i’m pretty sure they’ve got super-optic lens magnifying power. or something.
““if you’re on the brink of being mentally unstable, ut i’ve still missed the “i’m a stalker in training” signs. i’m getting better, but it’s still a struggle.
..i am so TUNED up for this shyt..Every personality disorder i run pass webmd..scan that shyt on down wikipedia, and third eye that mamma jamma for good measure.
i haven’t had a crazy dude try and “date holla” since spring 2005.
..i am so TUNED up for this shyt..Every personality disorder i run pass webmd..scan that shyt on down wikipedia, and third eye that mamma jamma for good measure.
i used to carry a copy of the dsm iv in my back pocket. judging from what occurred earlier in the year, i probably should start doing that again
why so you can diagnose her and ish… you need to carry mace or pepper spray and spray that ish…
it’s all fun and games till you cant breath and feel like your eyes are trying to crawl out of your skull
Word.Life (Patented to Panama)
I am so tuned into those ever so subtle vibes, that half of my social circle thinks I am crazy.
H3ll, I’ll be that if it keeps them off my roaster!
how he treats waitstaff including propensity to tip (is he nice, respectful to others, graps the basics of social/dining etiquette),
LOL I love your list but this is a pet peeve for me in general!
if you dont know how or refuse to tip or treat the wait staff like servants we dont need to be friends, let alone date….male or female
“how he treats waitstaff including propensity to tip (is he nice, respectful to others, graps the basics of social/dining etiquette), ”
If he cusses out everybody around you and then talks to you nicely–you better run fast, because homeboy has some split personalities waiting to come out on you once you get in a relationship with him.
Champie poo poo, Gem and Killa nice pic..can we get some feng shui going on in the background tho…
feng shui? can you speak american please?
also…
how he treats waitstaff including propensity to tip (is he nice, respectful to others, graps the basics of social/dining etiquette)
…i agree 100 percent. i probably pay just as much attention to that as i do the conversation
“feng shui? can you speak american please?”
oh never mind champie poo poo
a few others before bed time
a guy that has white stuff in the corner of his mouth even if its just a little bit.. that is a sign of foaming at the mouth and as we found out from CUJO foaming at the mouth is ALWAYS a bad sign
Any dude that has more than 1 baby momma.. or has 1 baby momma and describes them as CRAZY…..
LOL…@ the Cujo reference! Omg and that goes right along with those wayward stray hairs in his goatee/mustache/beard with flecks of lint,crumbs, etc..
a guy that has white stuff in the corner of his mouth even if its just a little bit.. that is a sign of foaming at the mouth and as we found out from CUJO foaming at the mouth is ALWAYS a bad sign
***chuckling***
a guy that has white stuff in the corner of his mouth even if its just a little bit.. that is a sign of foaming at the mouth and as we found out from CUJO foaming at the mouth is ALWAYS a bad sign
this is HILARIOUS!!!… and I wanted to share a vid with all my VSB friends who have been trying to learn the choreography to “Single Ladies”… check THIS out…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGemjUvafBw
I saw this and DIED.
He was WORKIN’ IT!!!
OMG doesn’t he KILL it?? He is moving parts that I just plain CAIN’T make work like that (and i have tried)…
“or has 1 baby momma and describes them as CRAZY…..”
i agree with this. and any uses of bi!ch as well …cause then i already know what i am on a bad day, if we slow the party down.
“i agree with this. and any uses of bi!ch as well …cause then i already know what i am on a bad day, if we slow the party down.”
co-sign. you know it’s only a matter of time before he tries callin you one.
i agree with this. and any uses of bi!ch as well …cause then i already know what i am on a bad day, if we slow the party down.
EXACTLY..
I always follow this with “she wasn’t a crazy b!tch when you slept with her right?”
Usually speeds the convo right along…lol
“i agree with this. and any uses of bi!ch as well”
you know, i always thought that a telltale sign of a guy who’s, ummmm, “sexually ambidextrous” is if he frequently uses “b*tch” in casual conversation.
I pay for the tickets
I actually get the nachos, raisinets/milk duds, and soda.
We get a good seat.
None of my brethren in sight, as we went to the good* theater.
*read good as Alabaster/Porcelain – So no audience participation.
We both watch the previews.
I wanna see that.
Don’t wanna see that.
So far so good, She didn’t get to excited @ the chick flick, the musical preview, or the horror flick.
Nice, she looked for guidance on whether or not I might want to see the action flick.
I turn off my celly, as does she.
Being a bit bold, I move the arm rest into it’s up right position.
If the mood strikes, she can lean into me, grab, reach for the bucket of popcorn (no hole @ the bottom I promise). I’m finna get the old school 1) yawn, 2) arm raise, 3) arm comes down, 4) hug move in.
The movie starts.
The cool intro credits are up. (my favorite part of a flick)
Character 1 is introduced.
Character 2 is introduced.
Fee – “I don’t get what just happened”
Thinks to self, *this is the last time I go out with someone who has a masters degree*
Did I get here before you?
Didn’t we watch the same thing at the same time?
If the condom breaks are you gonna be this stupid with young Rakimisha?
….Why is she laughing so god damn loud @ that lame ass joke. No one else is laughing.
…If she was really a down sista, she woulda popped some corn at the crib and brought a big purse. (if she was from Louisiana she would had brought the hot sauce too)
….please don’t, please dont…just let me walk out of the cinema so I can collect my thoughts on this master piece…
Fee, “I didn’t get the movie, could you explain it to me”
___________________________
I have hundreds of these.
It could be the way she orders her food, the size of her hoop earrings, what her long term hopes and dreams are, the fact that she doesn’t have any hobbies (aside from shopping, eating, and talking to her friends and family)….
“i usually date thugs/athletes….”
*pulls over Eurobarge and drops Fee off @ Green Line Metro*
LMAO at all of this but this made me cheese:
“…If she was really a down sista, she woulda popped some corn at the crib and brought a big purse. (if she was from Louisiana she would had brought the hot sauce too)”
Green line metro?? You shoulda known. Just kidding…sorta.
don’t be hatin’ on the Soul Train.
*chortles*
Whateva, PeeJay. You know the Green Line is a mess.
Not like my much classier Red Line and all…
….Why is she laughing so god damn loud @ that lame ass joke. No one else is laughing.
LMAO this is another one of mine as well.. I think I have told the story once before of dude dayum near hyper ventalating at some seriously unfunny movie and I had to leave his a$$ there..
Fee – “I don’t get what just happened”
I also hate the “I dont get the joke” dude.. I mean you have to explain every joke..all of them?
I remember a dude in jr high telling me he didnt get the “DEEZ NUTS” snoop dogg interludes? I can hear his high pitched whiny voice saying now.. that just aint funny..uh yeah… No late night phone joning for you!!!
Yeah if you aren’t swift enough on the uptake, I can’t help you out playa.
lmao @ this whole comment.
my fave (i feel this way everytime i go out to the movies with a certain homegirl of mine):
Did I get here before you?
Didn’t we watch the same thing at the same time?
If the condom breaks are you gonna be this stupid with young Rakimisha?
yup. first ballot entry in the comment hall-0f-fame, especially for this…
“The movie starts.
The cool intro credits are up. (my favorite part of a flick)
Character 1 is introduced.
Character 2 is introduced.
Fee – “I don’t get what just happened”
i dont know if i have a bigger pet peeve than the chick who asks “what happened?” repeatedly throughout the flick, especially if i’m seeing it for the first time too
1: The man who causes me to start to believe he doesn’t know my name because he always tries to get me to answer to baby, beautiful, darling, etc. Even though I don’t answer, they continue and I discontinue contact–unless I like them because I’ll ignore it until we have some sort of disagreement and I storm off–but not before screaming, “Stop f*ggin calling me baby you dumb fug!”
*going to happy place*
2A: “I’ve never dated anyone like you before.” Some women might think this is good but I immediately go into panic mode. I start to question how I let him slip through the cracks and others like me hadn’t.
2B: Asking me do I have my ‘own place’. That shyt right there?? That screams of him having only dealt with a) broke women or b) young women. Again, I wonder how I let him slip through the cracks. Then I am forced to revisit my vetting process.
3: Any inconsistencies in behavior make me run. Either he doesn’t like me enough to be consistent or he’s too busy to be consistent.
4: Men who have told their friends things about me leading said friends to think we’re in some sort of official relationship but have never mentioned this to me. I mean cus if we are ‘together’ and you’ve never discussed it with me and I don’t know your middle name, at least have the courtesy to pass me a ‘Will you go with me?’ note or something.
5: When they finally get to come to my house, I don’t like when they try to mark territory. Like how’s a dude gonna come to my house and tell me that my sock drawer is probably pretty empty so I could move my socks and let him have that drawer. Da fugg??
Disclaimer: I will ignore all this shyt if I like him. But later on, in the heat of a disagreement, I will bring up anything (above that applies), in bullet point format, then storm off! My storm off is so top notch.
“My storm off is so top notch. ‘
Okay…we need to have a dramatic exit contest. lol.
“My storm off is so top notch. ‘
Okay…we need to have a dramatic exit contest. lol.
oh teach me..great ones….I to would like to become a master…
“The man who causes me to start to believe he doesn’t know my name because he always tries to get me to answer to baby, beautiful, darling, etc. Even though I don’t answer, they continue and I discontinue ”
Hostess, that’s one of my pet peeves. I wrote an article about it last year. To quote Ms. Jackson, “No my first name ain’t baby.”
Guys who never call a woman by their name and use those terms, usually have more than one woman. Those words are meant to be terms of endearment, but they aren’t when they are misused.
“2A: “I’ve never dated anyone like you before.” Some women might think this is good but I immediately go into panic mode. I start to question how I let him slip through the cracks and others like me hadn’t.
2B: Asking me do I have my ‘own place’. That shyt right there?? That screams of him having only dealt with a) broke women or b) young women. Again, I wonder how I let him slip through the cracks. Then I am forced to revisit my vetting process.”
I co-sign these right chere.
“2B: Asking me do I have my ‘own place’. That shyt right there?? That screams of him having only dealt with a) broke women or b) young women. Again, I wonder how I let him slip through the cracks. Then I am forced to revisit my vetting process.”
But I bet you ask him if he got his own place…
*shakes head and sh*t”
Nope. I don’t ask. But, I’ve not met one who didn’t (and most owned it) since I was 24. Remember, I’m in the DC area.
“Disclaimer: I will ignore all this shyt if I like him.”
LOL! I feel like this is what we all do.. ignore shyt and then it comes back around and bites us.
2A: “I’ve never dated anyone like you before.” Some women might think this is good but I immediately go into panic mode. I start to question how I let him slip through the cracks and others like me hadn’t.
2B: Asking me do I have my ‘own place’. That shyt right there?? That screams of him having only dealt with a) broke women or b) young women. Again, I wonder how I let him slip through the cracks. Then I am forced to revisit my vetting process.
***wondering if the hostess stole this from the champs virtual notebook, with obvious gender specific changes***
4: Men who have told their friends things about me leading said friends to think we’re in some sort of official relationship but have never mentioned this to me. I mean cus if we are ‘together’ and you’ve never discussed it with me and I don’t know your middle name, at least have the courtesy to pass me a ‘Will you go with me?’ note or something.
how about this: i had a friend of mine tell her ENTIRE FAMILY that we were dating, and had been for quite some time, all without ever mentioning it to me. as in i had no clue. as in, i went to visit her (she was a friend of mine, friends visit friends during the day) and all of a sudden her family is treating me different to include her father who tells me “i’m looking at you different”
oh, and the kicker – she seemed sincerely baffled when i questioned her about it, telling me she wanted to be with me so she figured i wanted to be with her, so she just assumed we were together and it was okay to tell her family.
“why have a conversation when we both know what we want?” <—her words verbatim.
and once again, i’m not making this up.
“why have a conversation when we both know what we want?” <—her words verbatim.
this is HILARIOUS!!!
“why have a conversation when we both know what we want?” <—her words verbatim.
lol…this actually sounds like some subtle pimp sh*t
sublte pimp sh*t was the original name for my first website before i realized it was a wee bit pretentious…
i settled on “a resthaven for ho*s” before finally deciding on jackson g. tickle.
a resthaven for ho*s”
I love this saying..one of my favorite scenes in The mack…..
“lol…this actually sounds like some subtle pimp sh*t”
Oh YEAH it does..
**storing it in my memory bank for future us.
I think this happens a lot to men and women. I’ll leave it at that.
Some of my red flags are
1. A guy who introduces himself to me and provides me with his professional title and educational background in the same breath. This is the used car salesman approach and dude has some serious flaws he is aware of, just not willing to change. he is telling me all about the new paint job and leaving out info on the shot transmission.
2. A dude who within the first few dates makes the statement to me, ‘Look, lets get some things straight……’ You are a control freak and are likely to go upside my head one day. I can not go to jail for murdering you.
3. I typically prefer not to date men with kids, but if he does have them and can talk about them without smiling that is a red flag. If you cant smile at the thought of them you wont be able to do it about me one day.
4. A man whose freinds cheat and he knows about/helps faciliate it. Daddy told me as a young girl, ‘Watch a man’s friends and always remember, dogs run in packs.’
5. A man who does not like football. You are sensitive and will get on my nerves.
Adding all of these to my list.
“1. A guy who introduces himself to me and provides me with his professional title and educational background in the same breath. This is the used car salesman approach and dude has some serious flaws he is aware of, just not willing to change. he is telling me all about the new paint job and leaving out info on the shot transmission.
I knew I was doing the right thing backing away from this one dude I met in a bar/club a little over a month ago. Within 30 seconds of shaking his hand, I knew what he did for a living. I was like “WTF?? Why do I need to know that, Stranger? After that, flags flew up left and right, had dude looking like he was standing outside of Union Station.
NEEEXXXTTT!
Suga&Spice, Great list. I esp liked, “Daddy told me as a young girl, ‘Watch a man’s friends and always remember, dogs run in packs.”
“5. A man who does not like football. You are sensitive and will get on my nerves”
I concur.
“A guy who introduces himself to me and provides me with his professional title and educational background in the same breath.”
This makes me angry, and then I go on a mission to make you feel as wack as possible.
Co-sign. I could not have said it better.
5. A man who does not like football. You are sensitive and will get on my nerves.
Every man must like football to be called a man! Go Patriots!
Whoooooo! Lets go Castle!
i’m so disgusted with this fball season i can’t even muster the strength to boo the Pats. and my Chargers have lost their bolts. what is a gal to do??
what is a gal to do??
Root for the Steelers
what is a gal to do??
Root for the Steelers
Yes!!!
Rooting for the Steelers is not a good solution. I’d rather watch a full season of baseball.
uuuuuummmmm…. that bad huh? Dang… i can’t even think of a witty retort lol… that knocked the wind outta my sails >:-/
my name is pgh muse and i DON”T approve of this message (i’m really jus’ playin’) but it sounds kinda funny:)
2. A dude who within the first few dates makes the statement to me, ‘Look, lets get some things straight……’ You are a control freak and are likely to go upside my head one day. I can not go to jail for murdering you
someone actually said this to you?
I co-sign this WHOLE list
5. A man who does not like football. You are sensitive and will get on my nerves.
He might not be American or have grown up in the US.
(American)Football is definitely an acquired taste.
Ok this is my first time commenting but I read alot so I’m delurking…there were already some really good one that I agree with but I just have a few more
Any offers to pay bills or expenses out side of the date
Has a child or children but doesnt offer to mention that..you find out by asking or it comes up in a casual conversation
Is very vague about simple details of their life, i.e. occupation, living arrangement, dating status
for online dating….makes plans to see you but ends up looking NOTHING LIKE THE PIC THEY POSTED!!!!
answers every question with a question
asking to see your place or offering to come over without being invited first
makes it known they are looking for their soulmate
“asking to see your place or offering to come over without being invited first ”
That shyt right there….UGH! There are few things more irritating than a man constantly asking when he can come over, and yall just started talking.
Yeah. You’re not posting up over here, so don’t even ask.
A closed mouth never gets fed.
neither does a begging one.
Sure doesn’t.
welcome and sh*t
“answers every question with a question”
not a big fan of the socratic method, are we?
Hey. How come I don’t recall ever talking about GREEN flags on this blog?? I’m just sayin!!! And where’s my damned t-shirt?!
SEXUAL CHOCOLATE!
Hey since when does the esss bomb get through? Lizinator what gives. Where I love the letter s. I think its too much fun to see people play w/ phonix on it.
Green Flags:
1) He is articulate and speaks kindly of his family
2) Has a great job and is making some sort of a difference
3) Isn’t afraid to disclose his feelings
4) Makes dinner for your occasionally and goes out of his way to show he cares (creative dates, trips, or just a simple fun night on the couch)
5) Respects what you do (i.e school, job, goals in life)
6) Most important: He adds to your self-worth. He helps to raise your spirits when you are down. rubs your back when the world has turns their back and makes you smile/ happy/ warm inside.
what’s a green flag?
and ummm, what typically happens with the t-shirts is that someone sends money to the company that’s producing them, they get a confirmation number, and a couple days later the shirt arrives in the mail.
unless liz or p changed things, i’m pretty sure thats how things operate
green as in GO kind sir.
I figure if I keep bringing it up, mgmt will get tired and give in. It’s the squeaky wheel technique. Do I need to write a letter to your corporate office??
Hostess no one delivers to the cave, they all scared
USPS and UPS both go anywhere. Now where’s my damned t-shirt??
*going to look up some addresses and report VSB to the Blog Police*
I’m intrigued by the green flag idea:
1. Beleives in a higher power
2. Is more positive than negative ( glass half full as opposed to half empty)
3. Self reflective
4. Accepts himself as he is yet still strives to improve himself
5. Doesn’t blame others for his problems/sees the role he plays in EVERY situation
6. Genuinely wants to be close (relationship-wise) to another person and sees the value in it
7. Knows or is trying to figure out his purpose, and knows the value in being supported by/supporting others in that quest
Dang. Y’all brought it. Green flags are the hotnesstaticity.
mine may be a no-brainer, but: the redflag i should have paid attention to is a guy casually mentioning–during a study date–how a past girlfriend(s) had written on his car in lipstick. he refused to elaborate, but he had been so charming, yet normal and considerate up until then (the representative was nothing, if not convincing) so i just ignored it/maybe thought SHE was crazy–i know, dumb mistake. about 6 months later, not only did i see why said anonymous female would have done such a thing, but i wanted to take her out for coffees and a manicure, just because.
and the call, leave message, call thing should always serve as foreshadowing of future craziness.
And the call, leave message, call thing should always serve as foreshadowing of future craziness.
So true, nothing but gearing up for the main stalking event. I’m not mad when guys do that…let’s me know what’s up early.
Glad you paid attention champ. I always tell my girlfriends to pay attention to everything a guy does on a first date. I know he’s fine as hell but he’ll still be fine tomorrow so pay attention TODAY.
My relationship red flag? When you can’t answer a straight question. For real, that vague-ass/trying be mysterious ish does not work with me. It does not make me interested; it makes me think you’re hiding things or even worse, couldn’t come up with a quick enough answer, hence signaling lying or a severely lacking mental capacity.
Ugh, I still remember when I made the major mistake of going out with Mormon homeboy. I’m not even sure it was a date but I was trying to be an equal opportunity friend? Now, my own personal religion believes that ppl from all walks of life will be saved/go to heaven. Everyone knows that Mormons believe that they are the only ones to inherit heaven. So when I asked homeboy if me and other Christians who believe in the same God are going to heaven, he hemmed and hawed all over the place. But yet this was the same guy that was passionately Mormon. If you can’t straight up tell ppl what you believe in, what else will you bend the truth about? Just tell me you think I’m going to hell! I can handle it.
I know if I was Mormon and someone asked me that question, I would straight up say: Unfortunately, we Mormons believe that only other Mormons are going to heaven.
Plain and simple.
And no, don’t ask me what I was thinking by going out with him. Let’s just say I discovered a multitude of his other problems ( lived at home, nearing age 30, no job, no degree, in a boy band and was pursuing a solo career). We are strictly on a hi/bye/exchange minor pleasantries basis and I feel sorry for him.
mormon hombeboy…he was BLACK and Mormon?
I don’t know. If my religion says you’re going to die a horrible death, and you ask me what my religion says about you on a first date, wtf am I supposed to say?
You put him in a pretty bad spot. First, you broke the cardinal dating rule by bringing up a topic like religion. Then, he had to figure out how to answer your question without lying and without insulting you or your religion.
And the thing is, by your own admission, you knew what the answer would be. So you deliberately put him in a bad situation. I think you were just looking for someway to sabotage this date.
I’m in a rush so don’t take my numbering as terse repiles. Just points of order
1. He brought up religion first.
2. We proceeded to discuss it for 4 hours straight (again his choice).
3. Conversation remained amiable before and after my question. I could’ve changed the convo but frankly I had a feeling it was a convert-a-date so I let him do his thing.
4. Yes I knew what the reply would be (which didn’t offend me at all) but he wasn’t answering some other questions I asked either so the state of my afterlife was the million dollar question that let me know that he had some faults, lik all of us. He was also very vague answering my question (hence my opening liners about hating vagueness) so he walked into that one.
5. I stuck around long enough (despite the obvious fanaticism) to discover his jobless, degree-less, crib-less state.
6. I stuck around long enough to meet his parents, friends, cousins, church family, elders, etc.
7. I gave up when I realized he had to convert me to date me.
8. 6 months is generous don’t you think?
He was actually middle eastern but had the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen on any one.
Oluchi, I like your name.
thanks.
“Mormon homeboy”
this definitely sounds like a pilot that would air on upn, staring maestro harrell (randy from “the wire”) as kenny the mormon
If you can’t straight up tell ppl what you believe in, what else will you bend the truth about? Just tell me you think I’m going to hell! I can handle it.
if he tells you straight up you’re going to Hell, he might end up with solo brimstone wenis. i just can’t imagine a scenario where it’s ever a good idea to tell your date she’s going to Hell.
I wouldn’t have found it offensive. Since I knew what the answer was already, I didn’t feel any particular need to be aggrieved, esp since I wasn’t going to hell by myself. It was me and everyone who wasn’t Mormon. Wooo parrttyyy! J/k. Seriously though, when he couldn’t answer, I started laughing because I knew he didn’t personally want me to go to hell, his religion just believed as such. Then I told him it was all good, declined his offer to take Mormon classes for deeper understanding of his beliefs and asked about his CDs. Religious music of course, but the contemp stuff like Donnie McClurkin, Kirk Franklin and our mutual idol Tonex, etc etc.
Seriously, I know its hard to believe I would react so well but I’ve been called worse things. Telling me your religion says I’m going to hell results in a blank stare, a smile and a shrug. I am known for my composure and I try not to let things get to me because I don’t sleep well at night. Peace of mind above all else, ya dig?
Yeah that sounds painful champ, you meet the lady of your dreams and some other dude has already ruined it for you. maybe it was a sign and you made the right choice.
yeah…i’m sure i did. i found out some stuff later on that year that cemented my choice (and confirmed number 3#)
My personal reasons I would have run from ole girl.
1. She is going on about the worst quality of SO in her past relationships. She is setting the table for tears. ‘But all my other bf’s did that that means the world will ……. dispare n tears’ Love is a battle field you sack up and see if you can win. Oh I guess the ladies version would be grab ya girls?
2. The strong language All of her other SO. She is looking for a fight. She is stating something as if it were the Law of the Universe Word of God and My Mama said it.
3. I’m a cynic. (read I’m burned and haven’t taken the time to heal myself after I get burned *cue red hot chilli Peppers scar tissue*) I’d drop her off and put on that Erykuh “Bag Lady”
but I like your reasons too The Champ. I like the way you size that up. BTW You had me @ ‘transferring his thoughts to cream of wheat and lightly buttered toast’ If she can’t make me 4 get about food for a lil while, or @ least make me want to share the best recipies I know will make her see The Wu in their hay day. I’d say we just cronies when I’m in the mood for you.
Scar Tissue is a good song
Yes!!
2. The strong language All of her other SO. She is looking for a fight. She is stating something as if it were the Law of the Universe Word of God and My Mama said it.
yeah..people who always speak in absolutes are either idiots or instigators. basically, exactly like dubya
I didn’t get this before but now I do. I avoid these people like the plague and if I can’t, I ignore them. No fun to fight with someone who isn’t fighting back.
“what are some other subtle relationship red flags?”
A guy who complains too much or acts like the world is against him. Negativity is a complete turn-off to me.
A guy who says that he hates his mother (happened to a friend of mine on her first date and she never called him back)
A guy who just talks about himself.
A guy who complains too much or acts like the world is against him. Negativity is a complete turn-off to me.
these are some of the worst people on the planet. forget non-befriending them, i wouldnt even let one of them walk my dog, and i dont even own a dog
***this reply was much more witty in my head***
Relationship red flags:
1. If he calls too much… Repeatedly… I’m talking you don’t answer the phone and he continues to call back until you do pick up and curse him out.
2. He texts too much, meaning instead of him picking up the phone to have a normal conversation, he texts the conversation.
3. He has 3 kids by 3 different women (commit/condoms much?)
4. When I’m over his house, the phone rings at 3 a.m. (yeah right, that’s your boy calling!)
5. His cursing vocabulary is bigger than his educational vocabulary.
6. Woe-was-me/everyone-is-against me talk.
7. If he writes on his profile, recently lost 230 lbs (the fugg?- saw this on an online site once. )
7. All he talks about is his child.
8.
Ooh! Ooh! Add one…
8.. The one who drug a girl down the steps TEN years ago…. (note to self: He WILL try you. Aggressive much? LOL)
“6. Woe-was-me/everyone-is-against me talk. ”
Like nails on a chalkboard.
“6. Woe-was-me/everyone-is-against me talk. ”
I am quite the social butterfly/unicorn but I will not attend pity parties…. no matter how many invites you send me on facebook…
“5. His cursing vocabulary is bigger than his educational vocabulary.”
lol…was this guy’s name c-bo?
5. His cursing vocabulary is bigger than his educational vocabulary.
what about tactful, strategic, and just plain-ole-good cussin’. i’m a good cusser. i pride myself on this. nothing like a well placed “mothertrucker” to really get a convo going…lol.
perhaps not a first date.
true story: one year me and my boy (two resident heathens at nearly every party we go to) were at this dinner party and it seemed like we’d rolled up into a party of straight Bible thumping do-gooders. not that there’s anything with that.
so, me and my boy are talking and i say, a little bit louder than i should have, “this motherf*cker…” this one chick turns around and says, “that was one of the most well spoken uses of motherf*cker ever. i just love me some good cursing.”
after that, me and my boy effectively turned that party out. lol. beeeeyotch.
“that was one of the most well spoken uses of motherf*cker ever. i just love me some good cursing”
HAAAA.. that sounds like something a southern belle would say.
Now I don’t mind some cursing, cause my mouth gets the best of me.. but I don’t need that old Lil Jon cd, every other curse word kind…
Here are some other read flags I haven’t read here:
1. How he treats his family’s time. He doesn’t think twice about breaking a last minute date with a) his mother who has invited him over for dinner, etc, or b) his child, who he’s supposed to visit that day, stating he’d rather be with you. Once in the beginning is plausibly forgivable, but a pattern of this shows he’s unreliable, inconsiderate and eventually will do this to you.
2) He’s in college. He may be the greatest young man in the world and an awful lot of fun to be with, but if you truly expect him to make a lifetime commitment of love when he’s trying to get a degree and figure out who he is and what he wants in life, you’re taking a huge gamble.
3) Not sure about this one, but I think if his Facebook goes on for a mile, and he’s filled out in excruciating detail of every single thing he likes and believes in, he’s got some problems. Maybe this is why they named it “Facebook”, b/c it’s the public face you wear and is more about image than substance.
I have a relative who does this, and I can testify that this never married 40-something year old man has huge problems with connecting to women beyond the superficial level, and is a pro at wasting the time of hopeful women in their 30s who get snagged into dates that never go anywhere.
“2) He’s in college.”
Yep. You ain’t never lied. Huge, huge gamble.
“1. How he treats his family’s time.”
The most important for many reasons. It shows what kind of husband and father he will be. It also shows his respect for others in general. Family should always be put first and a man that respects, loves and spends time with his family, gets the green light from me.
1. How he treats his family’s time. He doesn’t think twice about breaking a last minute date with a) his mother who has invited him over for dinner, etc, or b) his child, who he’s supposed to visit that day, stating he’d rather be with you. Once in the beginning is plausibly forgivable, but a pattern of this shows he’s unreliable, inconsiderate and eventually will do this to you
i approve of this flag.
Red Flags
Excessive neediness
Jealousy for no reason
Whining
Multiple baby mamas
Always calling from private/restricted numbers
Anger Management Issues
Overly sensitive
Champ, I feel you. Sometimes you can see from a mile out that it’s just not gonna work. In that case, it makes sense to cut and run early. I don’t have a problem deleting a kat or falling off the grid. I’m glad you included a link to who ol’ girl was referring to, because I’m sooo not familiar with the Left Behind series. My Pastor would be proud…lol
“Always calling from private/restricted numbers”
This would never happen to me because I don’t answer such calls, so word to the wise for people I know is if you are ever in an emergency pray to God that the number shows up or else RIP, I’ll get some flowers and hug ya mama.
Yep. I don’t even answer numbers that don’t pop up with a name unless I just so happen to have given someone new my number a day or so before.
Otherwise, good luck getting me to answer.
“Yep. I don’t even answer numbers that don’t pop up with a name unless I just so happen to have given someone new my number a day or so before.”
U too????
I normally answer my phone, unless I don’t wanna be bothered. I have family always calling from off the wall numbers, so I answer in case it’s an emergency.
If it’s someone I don’t wanna talk to, I just hang up…lol
Same here. Don’t call me from a number I don’t have saved, you’ll feel sorry.
Even when I was in the market for a job, I’ll let the voicemail pick up and then save the number with the name and call back.
I don’t do random numbers.
I’m saying when he’s calling from other numbers, not the one I have programmed for you in the phone.
I was talking to this kat once who always called me from work, or a pay phone or a blocked number, not the cell phone number he gave me, which coincidentially was always turned off, so it went straight to voice mail.
Ends up he was married, I busted him out on it. It was only 3 weeks into knowing him so…dah well. I’m glad I found out sooner than later though.
Sigh…negroids.
Always calling from private/restricted numbers
Oh hells yes.. One of my girls just had this happen to her.
You know the deal. lol
“You know the deal. lol”
prison??..married?? cohabitating…i don’t even answer private calls.
Always calling from private/restricted numbers
not only do i not pick up restricted numbers, i dont listen to any message they might have left
I hate this post. Hits way too close to home.
ouchy for you?
please expound and sh*t
Okay, okay. Every dude in my adult life has cheated (or given the appearance of being less than on the up and up). So clearly I’m one of those bad judge of character chicks. But numbers 2-4 do not apply. Maybe I’m oblivious, but I don’t project. I was never a ho (serial monogamist) and I’m fabulous in bed.
My red flags:
**Dudes that describe themselves as if they were the victim in their prior relationships
**ALL their current friends are their homeboys from the hood growing up. A grown man who’s educated and about business should have at a least a few like-minded friends.
**They like to debate…anything. This usually means they like to argue for the sake of arguing.
**They know it all. Can speak on and has an opinion on every subject under the sun. Also means they like to argue and/or cannot be told anything (because, of course, they know it all).
what “type” of guys do you typically date?
I’ve been all over the map…from the intellectual, to the “I worked my way to the top”, to the “I think I’m intellectual, but I’m not”. I haven’t figured it out yet. I don’t stick to one type at all. I prefer someone I’m physically attracted to, who has common interests and goals. Typically, the guys have nothing in common with each other. They all seem to be azzholes though!
Sadly that’s because 90.999% of them prolly behaved like a$$holes…(sorry for interjecting) I don’t know the whole story or anything but don’t blame urself. 8.999 times out of 10 they were prolly playing games or had some other issues going on.
I was thinking the same thing.
Cause those red flags can actually be green ones with a little twist.
I know a couple of dudes who will argue that their left is really their right.
I.hate.arguing.over.dumb.shyt.
Holla.
Flags:
1. too easily annoyed- if it’s the first date and the waiter is slow to take our order, i get being annoyed but it’s not THAT serious. who wants to be around someone who is always mad?
2. too much personal info on first date- you hate your Dad? you have no friends outside of your family cause you don’t trust anyone? Sorry, not signing up for that
3. you openly, proudly state that you don’t trust women/women are no good- I’m supposed to kill myself trying to change your warped view? not likely.
Forgot one..you had a child(ren) really young (any age with a teen after it) and don’t see anything wrong with that- I get that things happen. you shouldn’t beat yourself up for accidents/mistakes/whatever. You rallied and did the best you could. But you think that situation was ideal? The best possible course of action? Yeah, we won’t get along.
1. too easily annoyed- if it’s the first date and the waiter is slow to take our order, i get being annoyed but it’s not THAT serious. who wants to be around someone who is always mad?
seriously, perpetually mad people just need to have their own state. i don’t see a problem with just giving them alaska and being done with it
I hear it’s lovely there…nice view of Russia and everything
this goes back to how they treat others, ie.wait staff at resteraunt. do not embarass me with your lack of home training and basic manners.
I just thought of one that is subtle. Take notice in conversations about events that are referenced. If every story/anectdote/statement is about their college hey days and they are 35, then that is a problem. This is a person whose life is in syndication, and do not be surprised if you date them further that there are no new episodes.
LMAO!
Agreed.
This is a person whose life is in syndication, and do not be surprised if you date them further that there are no new episodes.
***snickering***
This is a person whose life is in syndication, and do not be surprised if you date them further that there are no new episodes.
chuckles
Great one.
My ex-fiance was one of those. Talking about stuff he did when he was 16-17. Dude, that was almost 20 years prior. Move on, make new friends, adapt. He was living in this warped timeframe. I get not getting used to a new place/ different environment for a few years, but for 15 years? Like when are you going to feel comfortable???
Sorry for the rant and sh*t.
1. I keep in touch/best friends/really good friends with “ALL” of my ex girlfriends.
2. Statements like: “I don’t do this on the regular, just as a side hustle ya know, cuz I got goals and shyt.” When asked about occupations.
3. Realizing after a few dates that dude doesn’t own a pot or a pan or laundry detergent…meaning that he a. eats out all the time, b. the microwave is his friend or c. he has someone who has been making sure he eats and someone to wash his clothes…mom, dad, bro, sis, homegirl, w/e…
4. Statements like: “You may not like me now, but you’ll see that I’m a good dude and will treat you right.”
“1. I keep in touch/best friends/really good friends with “ALL” of my ex girlfriends.”
(read:: I’m still getting booty from them)
I am still friends (some of them great) with most of my exes.
I believe in a courteous way of life.
“i have a tendency to attract and be attracted to “relationship-ey” women”
aww, another reason i heart champ
lol…thanks and sh*t
When a guy meets you in a club/lounge wherever, and calls you that same night to make sure you ‘got home safe’. On the surface it seems thoughtful, but to me it just looks like you want to make sure I got home alone. And since you just met me , you really shouldn’t care yet, or at least have the sense not to let me know you do.
Hmm, never thought about it that way. I always thought it was a sweet gesture.
VSB: Making you think and shyt.
I never looked at it that way either.
naw this is a sweet gesture…home alone??? if dude is questioning if im going home alone after a nice little date, we got bigger problems than him thinking im actually going “home alone”.
men should be able to prescreen co-habitation and liberal minded bedroom activity.
I didnt know a person could be this cynical
Well now you know
I’ve known guys who admitted that making sure the chick didn’t live with someone/go home with someone after the club was their real reason for calling.
But that aside it just seems stupid to me… we have ‘known’ each other for all of 10 minutes. If I call with a flat tire is he gonna come across town and help me change it? I think it would be inappropriate to even ask. Shouldn’t I already have friends to help me out like that? If I don’t call him is he gonna know what to do next since he doesn’t even know where I live? It’s just unnecessarily extra to me upon a first meeting.
How would he know you went home with someone else unless you’re in a habit of telling your business over the phone to random guys you just met?
These guys take a non-call as a sign that I’m otherwise occupied. Which is a sign of paranoia. Hence the red flag.
i thought girls didn’t call guys the same night they met?
When a guy meets you in a club/lounge wherever, and calls you that same night to make sure you ‘got home safe’. On the surface it seems thoughtful, but to me it just looks like you want to make sure I got home alone.
this call usually isn’t about “safety” as much as its “you know…i might luck up and fall into some ass because she thinks that i’m “sweet”
i rebuke this message
“this call usually isn’t about “safety” as much as its “you know…i might luck up and fall into some ass because she thinks that i’m “sweet””
I concur.
I’m gonna disagree on this one. Calling to make sure I got home ok is good manners. There are better signs of a stalker.
Calling to make sure I got home ok is good manners. There are better signs of a stalker
i’m thinking that you all should fight.
naked.
and televise it
This is why you don’t get paid to think.
“When a guy meets you in a club/lounge wherever, and calls you that same night to make sure you ‘got home safe’. On the surface it seems thoughtful, but to me it just looks like you want to make sure I got home alone. And since you just met me , you really shouldn’t care yet, or at least have the sense not to let me know you do.”
I do not agree with this. At a club/lounge I would not try to call you because I have to give it the non-stalker 2 days (is this still done or am I f-ing up?). If you are out with me, or we took seperate trains to go home, I will call to make sure you are safe. I find this akin to waiting until the lady is inside before you drive off.
As far as the “calling cross town to help change a tire”, I would go help you also. Not only is this good mannered, but it is an ability to make a lasting impression. There are a few times when abilities to make indelible impressions present themselves. . .chances are that I won’t remember it (bad memory) but you will . . . just a thought.
“At a club/lounge I would not try to call you because I have to give it the non-stalker 2 days (is this still done or am I f-ing up?).”
Personally, I am SO over the whole 2 day crap. If you’re feeling me and I’m feeling you (cause you wouldn’t have gotten my number if I wasn’t), I won’t think you’re crazy/insane/a loser if you call the next day. All that waiting days to call is wack, and I may just have met someone else while you were effing around.
Ummmm… I call foul on that play.
How in the h3ll does he know if you’ve gotten home alone by a phone call?
And if you’re not going home alone, what is your business giving mofos your number at the club anyways?
I have always interpreted it more so as “Let me see if there is a way I can bag that tonight”. Not necessarily sweet but not a telltale sign of control issues either.
Red Flags (That I may start to pay attention to as I get older)
1. Makes strange faces . . . probably crazy
2. Can’t cook (who raised you)
3. Talks bad about all her friends behind their back.
4. Cheated on man to get with me.
5. Too many male platonic friends = too many vultures waiting.
6. oblivious to fact that male friends will screw you = twit
7. No post high school education and/or no interest to pursue it.
8. Lives with baby’s fathers family (this has happened)
9. Children (negotiable-more of a yellow flag)
10. Alaskan
11. Army/Marine Girl – after a long debate with some friends of mine, I have come to the conclusion that there has GOT to be something wrong for a girl to enlist in the army/marines . . but also negotiable . . .more of reddish shade of yellow flag.
12. Tells me they love me within 2 months of knowing me.
More to follow. . . the Man is shutting down my work station.
10. Alaskan
*giggle* Dayum, the whole state?!
i’m with IVR. f*ck Alaska.
“10. Alaskan
*giggle* Dayum, the whole state?!”
Yes . . . the whole state . . . it’s not even Palin related surprisingly. I lived there for the last 4 years and seeing the nonsense that goes on in such isolation from the real world (items 4 – 12 on above list) just put me off.
This being said, I lived in the biggest city in the whole state. . . I can just imagine the foolishness the tundra wookies are going on with in the bush . . . plus, i’d never go there (the bush) . . . so I’m hating on the ENTIRE state.
FYI Alaska is infamous for a 6 to 1 ratio . . . men to women. . . u can just imagine the sh!t the tundrawookies get away with up there.
“tundra wookies”
Dead.
Me as well.
*here lies miss t-lee*
“tundra wookies”
this sounds like a missing link in the evolutionary track of a hoodrat
“tundra wookies”
this sounds like a missing link in the evolutionary track of a hoodrat
guffawing and lmao at the same time. vsb glossary asap!
“tundra wookies”
this sounds like a missing link in the evolutionary track of a hoodrat
OMG…that was funny as h3ll!!
It’s a bit clearer now. Thanks for the rundown.
I had a dude say he was in love with me and wanted to marry me after 3 months, this is the reason why it ended. I was like, you don’t love me. You think you do.
Goodbye!
“3. Talks bad about all her friends behind their back.”
Nevermind dating, I’ve gotten rid of FRIENDS (both male and female) who do that ish.
“8. Lives with baby’s fathers family (this has happened)”
Wait…
“8. Lives with baby’s fathers family (this has happened)
Wait…”
Yes, Please see Item 10.
IVR, can you cook? This should be a two way street.
“IVR, can you cook? This should be a two way street.”
Of course . . . I was raised well . . . LoL
this is a great list. a wonderful list. if you list was a chick, i’d bag it and sh*t
***slowly re-reading reply and realizing that i may need a bit more toast this morning***
“this is a great list. a wonderful list. if you list was a chick, i’d bag it and sh*t
***slowly re-reading reply and realizing that i may need a bit more toast this morning***”
Good looking out homes . . .
13. Tries to convince me that I am not black because my ancestors were slaves in Panama and not South Carolina . . .
This is a new phenomenon I am experiencing in the DC area and it is becoming annoying.
well i get the you are not black because you are African, and cannot trace your ancestry to the south.
this person also told me obama was not black because he could not trace his ancestry to slavery.
“well i get the you are not black because you are African, and cannot trace your ancestry to the south.
this person also told me obama was not black because he could not trace his ancestry to slavery.”
This is all foolishness . . . I tell them I am not African-American (which is also really false but if I am having this conversation, I doubt they are too well versed in Latin American History) but I am black .. . like all the baseball players that are black as night with spanish last names . . . they are of my ilk.
This is all foolishness . . . I tell them I am not African-American (which is also really false but if I am having this conversation, I doubt they are too well versed in Latin American History) but I am black .. . like all the baseball players that are black as night with spanish last names . . . they are of my ilk.
this is such a loaded subject, and really speaks to the mis-education of black people in general.
not really, it speaks to people needing a specific shared history in the definition of black in part so that future discussions about race don’t get mired in well, this group are black and didn’t go through x and y so all of you need to just get over it.
mis-education of black people in general.
now would these be
Carribean black
black American
black Latino’s
or the Constitution’s definition of black?
just wonderin’
I jest, its late and I been lookin at a syllabus all day
This whole “You’re not Black” phenomenon has gotten to me as well.
I am black. As in fudge brown black. Just because I am not Black American does not make me LESS black.
I have had way too many people within the last year tell me I am not black, and one of them was paler than Rose McGowan after a day indoors with green eyes. And still claimed to be “black-er” than me. If it makes you feel better about yourself honey, go right ahead.
I don’t know, in some sense, they have a valid argument. Especially when black is used as a cultural term, not racial one. If black just refers to race, then skin tone can be a defining factor …well, essentially just a binary classifier. if it’s used as a cultural term, then your skin color alone is not sufficient to establish membership.
OK, I haven’t read every response, so forgive me kindly if someone said this already.
Red flags are important, they can get you kicked out of a World Cup game even if someone did go at your mama. But, is there a thing as being too cautious? I can see red flags with my eyes closed, but I mean…I won’t meet Idris Elba that way, I have to take chances. So Booker T Champ (Buckbeak says hello btw), or any VSBer, what advice do you have for the overly cautious?
Good point. I don’t think you need to run from someone if they display a minor non-deal breaking red flag, just be aware of the issue and look for more evidence. Playing it safe all the time is no fun. In Champ’s post though, I’d say the flags were too large to ignore.
from my experiences, i don’t think you can be overly cautious (a gal can never be to safe and you always gotta put safety 1st), tho i do think you can over analyze. the times i disregarded red flags things ended on a bad note becuz inevitably the things that caused red flags initially led to long term problems of the same nature. so then i had to say to myself– “self, you knew better so next time do better”.
ForReal and Gem, I agree. I always told my friends I was protecting my heart, and they still said I was selling myself short, even as I drove them back from the police station cause their boyfriend turned out to be wanted for murder. But no, my “naive” self couldn’t be right cause I did not have “experience.”
So of course she ending up regretting the fact his apartment was in her name. Sigh. Whaddyagonnado?
what advice do you have for the overly cautious?
depends on how you define overly cautious. basically though, it comes down to things you’re willing to live with, and things you’re not.
well i think i see too many red flags, i…well im not going to get into a personality breakdown. i guess i need to take more risks:) i have no horror stories, no bad experiences…i just hope it stays that way and im not avoiding the inevitable.
how old are you and sh*t
26. which means im starting to hear a tick tick, and its interfering with the usual im the bomb like tick tick sound, messing up my rhythm and shyt.
overit asks:
“what advice do you have for the overly cautious?”
get over urself. get into urself. compell composed become or remain malleable and u’ll know when to get in and out of scenes and how best to do so.
beholdeth he that sees beneath the deep wonderful and amazing things.
a.k.a *******
thanks genius, i shall work on becoming malleable, that actually resonated with me lol.
talk black to me. LMAO.
I dated a guy once who told me that he had been engaged 3 times. I thought it wasn’t that horrible because everyone makes mistakes and he is 38 years old and has presumably been dating a long time. I guess it’s better he didn’t get married if the relationships weren’t right. I later found out that all of these women were in the last 5 years. That slammed the brakes on for me. I’m not sure what exactly that signifies exactly, but generally I think he had more issues than a little bit.
anyone who’s had more than two engagements and has never been married is a disaster waiting to happen
Oh snap, Champ. That’s my fam all day – and she is truly a scary woman. Love her to death, tho.
just make sure you never turn your back on her…literally
Red Flags if you are looking for a serious relationship:
1. A dark skinned man with green contacts
2. A 27+ man that plays video games until 4am
3. A guy that says I love you after a few weeks of dating… clingy
4. A guy that comes to dinner at your place (on several occasions) and never brings anything,
5) I’ll leave this blanks… but basically will receive but not give
6) Bums off his parents still at the age of 30+
7) Last but not least… he’s from Pittsburgh. LMAO!
1. A dark skinned man with green contacts
you don’t like dark chocolatey men with green contacts?!?!
7) Last but not least… he’s from Pittsburgh. LMAO!
——————————————————–
#1 was a shout out to my old neighbor… LOL!
lol you already know i know!! green eyed bandit strikes again!
7) Last but not least… he’s from Pittsburgh. LMAO!
hey!!!!
7) Last but not least… he’s from Pittsburgh. LMAO!
………………………………………….. (i cain’t even completely hate on this… there are like 5 datable black men over 25 years old in the whole tri-state area…)
(i cain’t even completely hate on this… there are like 5 datable black men over 25 years old in the whole tri-state area…)
ok…this gots to stop and sh*t
lol… of course u are included in that 5 Champ, but u KNOW that the pool out there is scarce. You actually mentioned it in a post (if i had time i would find the link)…
“2. A 27+ man that plays video games until 4am”
Even Madden? on a weekend stuck in the house? *checking calendar* . . . I got one month to get it out of my system . . .thanks for the heads up!
“i have a tendency to attract and be attracted to “relationship-ey” women,”
I don’t think it is the fact that u attract “relationshipey” women, it is that you attract women in general. Unless you are ugly and not worth being with, chances are you are going to attract someone that wants to be in a R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N-S-H-I-P. If you DO get a woman that tells you she doesn’t want to be in a relationship, that just says she’s not feeling you and doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you b/c trust me she’d not going to let a 10 pass her by. Would you rather attract women that just want to sleep around. BTW there aren’t cremes for everything.
If you DO get a woman that tells you she doesn’t want to be in a relationship, that just says she’s not feeling you and doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you b/c trust me she’d not going to let a 10 pass her by.
i can’t believe i’m gonna say this but ivy, you’re making perfect sense.
damn.
***checking sky for falling pig sh*t***
1. when she says she has a problem when she doesn’t feel, “she’s in control of a situation.” meaning she wants to dress you and blow your phone up every 10 min, including txt messages.
2. when you’re watching the news together and a story comes up about a melanin-challenged girl who was murdered by her unstable ex-boyfriend. she then literally makes you promise her that you will never do anything like that to her, and if you do then her father will come after you…
3. she discloses that she’s participated in a 3-way… one time with a married couple and another time with her bf at the time… and his homeboy. i’d just call it a train.
are those red flags? i’d consider it a cry for help.
lol cry for help indeed.
I think #1 and 2 are flags but #3 would be a green light for some (ie, this is a woman unlikely to pull a bait and switch on chex once you are together, this is a woman you don’t have to be scared to share your fantasies with etc.) Different strokes (no pun intended) for different folks.
3. she discloses that she’s participated in a 3-way… one time with a married couple and another time with her bf at the time… and his homeboy. i’d just call it a train.
i wonder how many adult women would freely admit theyve had trains run on them?
seriously, there has to be at least a couple reading this site, who use euphemisms like “menaje” and “3-way” instead of “train” when bringing this up
i guess this is akin to the fact that no guy has ever admitted online to getting his ass kicked, lol.
“i wonder how many adult women would freely admit theyve had trains run on them?
seriously, there has to be at least a couple reading this site, who use euphemisms like “menaje” and “3-way” instead of “train” when bringing this up
i guess this is akin to the fact that no guy has ever admitted online to getting his ass kicked, lol.”
some things you just gotta take to the grave with you. lol
“i wonder how many adult women would freely admit theyve had trains run on them? ”
***the church doors are open***
LOL..anyone??? anyone???
*cackles*
hahahah!!!
Like the Pastor standing there with that empty chair at the altar.
Waiting…
““i wonder how many adult women would freely admit theyve had trains run on them? ”
***the church doors are open***
LOL..anyone??? anyone???”
*END OF THREAD*
LoL
lol…yeah. i’m thinking this ship will permanently be docked
1. You talk about how all women are after your money and are conniving. Then ask me to pay for dinner on the 4th date. Is this a test? We ain’t up to me paying for dinner on the 4th date.
2. Talk about how into me you are yet when it comes down to making plans, you want to do that non-commital “let’s do something this weekend…I’ll call you on Friday” ish. If you are into me, you’ll try to get on the calendar in pen by Monday, no later than Tuesday. A girl’s got other options including family, friends and others jocking for your spot.
“If you are into me, you’ll try to get on the calendar in pen by Monday, no later than Tuesday. A girl’s got other options including family, friends and others jocking for your spot.”
Holla.
welcome and sh*t
btw…
“If you are into me, you’ll try to get on the calendar in pen by Monday, no later than Tuesday”
***picking up my cell phone to call my good friend bullsh*t***
Thanks for the welcome and all…it was time to de-lurk.
“Talk about how into me you are yet when it comes down to making plans, you want to do that non-commital “let’s do something this weekend…I’ll call you on Friday” ish. If you are into me, you’ll try to get on the calendar in pen by Monday, no later than Tuesday. A girl’s got other options including family, friends and others jocking for your spot.”
i agree with this..good men only let the sun set on stupid.
Luvtheshoes meets luvthesehoesnot.
“…you want to do that non-commital “let’s do something this weekend…I’ll call you on Friday” ish. If you are into me, you’ll try to get on the calendar in pen by Monday no latr than Tuesday”
if u like me and ur lucky and you have good taste to suggest a later time for the seeing and if that doesn’t work out then maybe we’ll both take time. calendar or not. we lucky that we even here with it considering ur approach.
hangs up on bitc*es.
I’m not talking about the first weekend we trying to make plans or even the occasional busy week. I understand some times you gotta play it by ear. What I’m talking about is a regular occurrence of you not trying to make sure we get QT together and prefer to always let it ride until the last minute.
That tells me you either think you’re waiting on a better offer or you got way too much going on to make solid plans with somebody. Either way you’re probably just trying to smash it and not put much effort into getting to really get to know me.
*Disclaimer – All of the above is of course, if in fact, I am understanding your point in the post above.
“Talk about how into me you are yet when it comes down to making plans, you want to do that non-commital “let’s do something this weekend…I’ll call you on Friday” ish. If you are into me, you’ll try to get on the calendar in pen by Monday, no later than Tuesday. A girl’s got other options including family, friends and others jocking for your spot.”
Hmmph…this right here is all I’m saying. And I makes NO exceptions to this, especially for newbies.
boogz and shoes snorts:
“Hmmph…this right here is all I’m saying.” [call before tuesday for a friday date or fu*k u mr. man ur not deserving)
i could stand in line at Walmart to spend my money and probably get better for it. what if yoU haven’t offered a date that someone wants to go on by Thurs. or Fri? who cares?
hood heff
Guess we just see it differently
1. She acts cool all day then calls you right before you go to bed to have a fight.
2. She constantly says, “I’m scared you’re going to leave me”.
3. She gets mad even when you have a legitimate reason not be with her. Like I’m having lunch with my boss.
lol…
her: alright, i’ll talk to you tomorrow. goodnight.
you: goodnight.
*phone rings 30 min later after 11pm*
her: ummm, we need to talk
you: F*CK!!!!!!!!!!
welcome and sh*t, wood.
btw, “welcome and sh*t, wood” is what i say to myself in the mirror every time i get out the shower
Preciate the welcome.
BTW. TMI on the shower thing…lol
Here are some subtle flags from the awesome one:
1) she walks to the car and stands at the door waiting for you to open it: entitlement issues – granted you should open the door but she should be happy you do it, not force the issue
2) likes to “look” at your phone a lot: trust issues
3) only operates on spontaneity/unable to really make dates: always looking for the better option AKA never assuming you’re the best option, ole plan b lookin’ heffa, see also commitmentphobe
4) she tells you that she’s crazy, albeit jokingly: she’s not joking, believe her
5) thinks Beyonce can’t sing and isn’t attractive: hater to the nth degree
6) thinks India.Arie is a better singer and more attractive than Beyonce: you’ll have arguments you can’t win b/c she has racial identity issues, plus she’s blind and deaf, and unless you’re into that, its probably not a good match
7) says, “but i dont want to talk about that” a lot: she’s got secrets that the CIA are investigating
6) thinks India.Arie is a better singer and more attractive than Beyonce: you’ll have arguments you can’t win b/c she has racial identity issues, plus she’s blind and deaf, and unless you’re into that, its probably not a good match
this is an entire entry in itself
6) thinks India.Arie is a better singer and more attractive than Beyonce: you’ll have arguments you can’t win b/c she has racial identity issues, plus she’s blind and deaf, and unless you’re into that, its probably not a good match
this is hilarious… i cackled… i did!
good list P.
plan c lookin ho*s.
we all do it to death. women do it like they own it and be mad if they get caught in the “layins off.” benched for better options.
kool-aid gets served early and often. it spills to the ground as i turn the cup. i stare blankley in her face. thou shalt have no other gods before me she feels.
And i’ll throw this one out.
She doesn’t understand “subtle”.
If a chick says a subtle red flag is “Multiple Baby Mamas”, her name gets replaced with “do not answer” on the celly.
She doesn’t understand “subtle”.
If a chick says a subtle red flag is “Multiple Baby Mamas”, her name gets replaced with “do not answer” on the celly.
burn!!!!!
i was peeping that too throughout this thread…. tee hee
I’ve been down this road enough times…geeeez.
Acting like you are the girlfriend after a couple dates or asking “are we dating” after a couple dates are red flags in my book. Being that clingy and trying to find out if we’re dating after hanging out a couple times means you’re in a hurry. If you’re in a hurry to get wifed, then I’m gonna be in a hurry to get away from you.
this is the gravy road to hell.
Between the ages of 20-22.5, I would tend to run into women I just started kickin’ it with who wanted to disclose to me their deep, dark, family secrets… like on the 1st date or two.
me: so what made you decide to get into such-n-such?
her: blah, blah, blah… someone touched me on my inside part at age 12. *breaks down crying
me: uhhhhhhhhhhh…. uhhh, zippity doo dah!
i ended up getting a b.a. in psych.
me: so what made you decide to get into such-n-such?
her: blah, blah, blah… i was raped at age 13. *breaks down crying
me: uhhhhhhhhhhh…. uhhh, zippity doo dah!
i seem to suffer from this affliction as well. i dont need to hear about your decade old cleft palette surgery over fried zucchini. wait till dessert at least
I just cried laughing at touched me on inside part and zippity doo dah
still..crying..
me: so what made you decide to get into such-n-such?
her: blah, blah, blah… someone touched me on my inside part at age 12. *breaks down crying
me: uhhhhhhhhhhh…. uhhh, zippity doo dah!
lmao!
someone touched me on my inside part at age 12. *breaks down crying
we are all going to hell! why am i dying though?
*after she picks herself up off her office floor*
this made me fall out of my chair laughing… good job
LOL y’all are killing me today. I don’t really have many set red flags I just kinda take it on a case by case basis. I do have one big one however…
If she is a band-wagon sports fan, RUN RUN RUN AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE. (or just hit it and bounce but either way try not to get too involved lol j/k)
My boy was dating this girl that was outstanding on paper one time, even down to fact that she berated one of her own sorority sisters who cheated on her man. So while my dude is receiving his congratulations and hi-fives from everyone else, me and ole girl were talking while the tv was on and were watching sportscenter. She gets all excited when the Lakers are on and claims to be a laker fan. Heres the convo
Me: Oh why are you a lakers fan?
Her: I don’t know I love Shaq and Kobe is pretty good
Me: Yeah, so you used to root for shaq back in orlando huh?
Her: No not really. I mean I was a Bulls fan before then we started sucking. Thank goodness the lakers got their coach. Now we are winning championships again.
Me: Wha…wait…huh…WHAT!!! Did you just use “we” in the same sentence for TWO DIFFERENT TEAMS???
Her: Yeah so?
Me: How can you feel so passionate about two seperate teams that you can use we to describe both?
Her: Cuz the bulls were good, now the lakers are good. I became a fan of both, so its we.
Me: So what about the Spurs they just won the title
Her: I know, they’re cool too. If the lakers lose again this year I might have to find another team.
Me: *Side face, turns and looks at the studio audience
I told my boy, listen I don’t usually get in your woman business but trust me, this girl is fool’s gold. He didn’t listen, 9 months and an emotionally invested heart later:
Him: Yo i can’t believe it, I just found out shorty was cheating on me. She just left me for that ni99a.
Damn.
hilarious!
moral of the story: nothing good comes from the lakers.
lmao amen to that!! GO CELTICS!!
OK look, now granted I have not watched basketball with any desire since I saw what an A$$ vince Carter was/is (circa All Star Game DC). I did watch the Celtics v. Laker’s last season during the championships and couldn’t name more than two of the Lakers players, and though I lub Ray Ray and am so glad KG finally got his bling, I am no Celtics fan by any stretch of the imagination. I am a Laker’s fan, I will always root for the Laker’s and have been since Magic and Bird.
That chick right there is POISON, cue Ronny, Bobby, Ricky, and Mike (sans Bobby)
you know what, this is actually extremely profound. she signaled 3 things in that convo
1. She is extremely willing to move on to something ‘bigger and better’ without fully vetting it first
2. She has no real loyalties– save MAYBE her family and close friends, but that could be debatable
3. She will not be down with you when the times get tough. I mean shucks, if you are a true fan, you are down even when the team sucks ass this season or a really good player goes to another team ( better yet, your rival–*cough*Drama Queen T.O.*cough*)
i approve of this reply.
thanks Champ
I am a firm believer that sports fandom is also a window to someone’s soul… moreso than the eyes.
I’ve been saying this for years. If women watched/got more invested in more sports, I swear a lot of relationship drama would not happen.
“Me: *Side face, turns and looks at the studio audience”
LOL!!!!
This brings up another sports red flag…if the only players you like are T.O., Kobe Bryant and any other show-boatin’, brag-a-docious player, I must show you the door.
Kobe is not really a show boater though.
this is true. i will judge you on the reasoning behind your favorite athletes. this is extremely important to me
how do you judge me on acct of my love for KGeezy?? hmmmmm??
You love to trash talk and do the most mundane everyday tasks with the upmost intensity.
You also shine away from big moments and require highly skilled coworkers and colleagues to be successful.
You love to trash talk and do the most mundane everyday tasks with the upmost intensity.
You also shine away from big moments and require highly skilled coworkers and colleagues to be successful.
wow, lol. if i were drinking a watermelon slush puppie right now, it would be all over my screen
I am so mad at this comment.
Wow Dorian. I like your style and today’s dialogue incredible. I replaced only I replace bulls w/ balls and lakers w/ lickers. Cuz that scallywag is primative and is the type that would encourage a might for right society.
cute.
I have a couple red flags, some from my own experiences and some that I have seen with close friends.
1. You’re always looking for a party, even on weeknights.
~ You might be insecure and uncomfortable being alone.
2. You have a female “roommate” but swear you never hit.
~ You’re either gay or lying. Probably lying. Either way you get the ax.
3. You’re very surprised I’m African American.
~ Probably hung up on ethnicity and looking for someone to make Mama happy.
4. After a month of dating you plan outings with your young child.
~ Makes me think you’re careless in terms of protecting them, and wonder how many other potentials you’ve had them around.
“You’re very surprised I’m African American”
this one irks the shyt out of me. Cause now if your NOT (AA) I gotta defend the work ethic, education, upward mobility or the lack thereof of every AA in the DC metro area.
i get so tired of having these conversations. All black folk don;t live and think like the dam!n wire. Alot of this bullshyt comes from tv.
“2. You have a female “roommate” but swear you never hit.
~ You’re either gay or lying. Probably lying. Either way you get the ax.”
This one hits close to home . . . I think number 2 should be on a case by case basis . . .
I lived with a girl for a while that I never smashed. She was attractive (dumb as SH!T but that doesnt stop a smash) . . . and I am on the other side of the gay spectrum . . .like completely (NTTIAWWT)but I refused to for two reasons. . .
1) she was nuts . . . like try to merk herself over a dude nuts . . . wouldn’t stop a smash normally, but definitely stops a smash at MY house.*
2) I dont want ANY excuses come the first of the month . . . especially the excuse of. . . I’m sorry I can’t make it this month . . . but I’ll take care of you .. . Gitthefukkouttahere.
*I had her set up the rent in allotments just in case she had a relapse.
and I am on the other side of the gay spectrum . . .like completely
“completely”? not just “totally” or “mostly”?
“and I am on the other side of the gay spectrum . . .like completely
“completely”? not just “totally” or “mostly”?”
OK, I get it, too much justification means I am hiding something . . . LoL
I agree. It’s on a case-by-case basis certainly.
I had a male roommate for 2 years. Nothing went down. But then again we were in college and broke as hell, so it was a “must” situation rather than a “want” situation.
After reading most of these comments I see why some of you are still single.
So in the words of the old white lady on the Train in the Movie “Coming to America”, I say to you all, “God head honey take a chance”!!!
After reading most of these comments I see why some of you are still single.
potential entry topic by itself
thats a great topic…i might have to bring out all my damp linen for that one.
“why you’re still single and lonely”
yeah, hop to it, Champers
Oh my God this topic so hits the spot today…Just last night I was talking to my friend who is totally ignoring a HUGE red flag that a guy she has been seeing for a month put out there….The guy is 10 yrs her senior, been seeing her for a month, told her he might want to marry her, he ALWAYS meets her either @ work or @ her place; she has NEVER been to his home…he told her a** that he doesn’t want her to know where he lives just yet because he used to date some crazy girls and so now he has trust issues in regards to women knowing where he lives…
My friend (bless her gullible lil heart) said “It’s okay; I’m going to respect that and not bug him about it because I want to show him that I am different from the other women he dated.”
I said: “You a da*n fool! Game recognizes game and you lookin’ kinda unfamiliar.”
You’re a good friend for not suga-coating the truth.
Your friend, however, sounds like the type to be intrigued by words such as, “mavericky.”
LOL I am going to attempt to use that word in a sentence when I talk to her today and see her reaction to it lol.
Continue to break down for her, she’s not getting the point that dude is straight playing her to the side.
I’m still pondering:
“for whatever reason, there seems to be a strong correlation between reformed ho-dom and being habitually cheated on. i have absolutely no idea why this is true…but it is true”
I’ve noticed this too but I’ve never figured out exactly how it’s connected.
It’s called karma.
maybe it has to do with the fact that theyre maybe slow to recognize certain behaviors…or something latent about them seems to attract those types of men
I’d like to add the following red flags that inspire me to kick a man to the curb
-Men that don’t followthrough on their word more than once. (Saying you are going to call or do something and then there is no follow through or response until after the time has passed ) Kick rocks.
- Dudes that only talk to you in the car or in transit who get off the phone when they are going in the house. (Bad reception my azz…you live with or are visiting a woman.) Kick rocks.
- Dudes that only talk to you in the car or in transit who get off the phone when they are going in the house. (Bad reception my azz…you live with or are visiting a woman.) Kick rocks.
“bad reception my azz” sounds like what an american p*rno title translated in japanese would end up saying
-30ish with a gangsta rap ringtone or voicemail song (especially if the song references pimping).
-Never see them use a check card or credit card, always pays in cash even when things are over $50.
-They use really cheap toilet tissue, ok kinda random but I hate it.
-They use really cheap toilet tissue, ok kinda random but I hate it.
is this a red flag or just a pet peeve?
welcome, btw, if i havent already
Thanks for the welcome.
I guess it’s somewhat both, if you’re not willing to spend the extra dollar or two for your sensitive areas then what else will you skimp on?
My last one…if you are in your mid to late 30′s (or older) and still haven’t settled into a career, move along. I don’t want to hear how you working this cell phone job for the time being until your music career gets going. Ummm…if you are past 30, I’m thinking the music career ain’t gonna happen, at least not on the level where you can give up your day job.
Don’t get me wrong. The cell phone job is cool, especially if you handling your business with it and not still living with your momma, but set a plan for working up the ladder there or go back to school or something.
Set a path and move on it. We are too old to have 5 irons in the fire still trying to figure out what you want to do with your life. Heck, you better have a retirement plan in action (or at least thought about) at this point.
Ummm…if you are past 30, I’m thinking the music career ain’t gonna happen, at least not on the level where you can give up your day job.
sounds like the 1/3 life crisis to me
Why don’t those shirts come in sizes for the kids? *lol* I gotta one year old niece who needs to sport one (her daddy is a very smart brother too!)
I thougth champ loved the kidz.
-OG
I thougth champ loved the kidz.
only the ones that end up on tonsils and chests
***SMH***
Ewwwwwwwww…..
hehehehehehe
dayum.
you’re nasty.
I said I was only going to lurk today… but my intern can’t make it so suddenly I have time…
Subtle deal breakers:
1. Home cleanliness/organization– I don’t want a neat freak (OCD anyone?) but bathrooms and kitchens MUST be surgically clean. My mother is a Professor of Nursing/30 year OR Nurse and I work in Public Health…. I don’t DO germs. And your place must have some semblance of organization. If you deal with your home purposefully, then you also deal with your life and relationships in like manner.
2. I’m a talkative and charming one, and I can charm your hopes, dreams and deepest secrets out of you within 30 minutes if I so choose. Okay, maybe not those, but things that give me clues to who you and your level of interest:
-you keep shifting your gaze: you are easily distracted
-you stare at/talk to my boobs: you ARE a boob
-I ask you a question and you look up before answering: you’re lying or you just don’t know the answer– and you’re a bad liar… and you lie alot.
-you don’t let me finish a sentence/thought: you won’t care what I think
-my obsessions/hobbies (classic cars, football, soccer,kung fu) disturb you because they aren’t “girl” things– you are close minded and probably really boring in bed..
I said I was only going to lurk today… but my intern can’t make it so suddenly I have time…
Subtle deal breakers:
when they eventually show up, maybe your intern can help you stay on topic, lol
i see that i was wrong to like you today…
if liking the champ is wrong, though, then you dont wanna be right
bb mo
champ is feeling himself today LITERALLY i think he still may be stuck on that ma-ber-bation post he wrote the other day
ah….. that would explain so much….
methinks he might need to go repent at the altar of the CoSL…because his response was MAD CAUSTIC. Like I felt my eyes burning.
thank you CBG… *diva dust*
I have no words about ole girl…except that the Champ made the RIGHT call there.
But I absolutely APPROVE of this entire post for two reasons:
(A) mention of Angela Nissel…due to her awesomeness (and connection to one of my all time fave shows) and (B) mention of Nicolae Carpathia (who really makes comparisons to HIM, though?) Those made me smile…
(B) mention of Nicolae Carpathia (who really makes comparisons to HIM, though?) Those made me smile
that really threw me through a loop, although i do think that the left behind reference was an attempt to make an analogy she assumed would go over my head.
as the pic shows, i have a giant head, so thats very difficult
Totally off on a tangent … I so love the name Nicolae, I would name my first born son Nicolae if it weren’t for the Left Behind.
wowzers… funny thing is a went to school with one of the girls in the pic!
anywho, back to the topic at hand…
relationship flags… u know, i’m a commitment-phobe so anything that feels relationship-y, was a red flag for me (i saw was cuz some how i got married). i think the bigger things are the incessant calling (especially back to back calls), pop-up visits (that’s disrespectful to both my time and my swag… beat it), and when they some how ALWAYS have time for you (make me work for it a little)…
wowzers… funny thing is a went to school with one of the girls in the pic!
yeah?
HI SPEL SIS!!! i peeped your blog and figured you out lol. and may i just add i’m mad salty i didn’t get to go to hc this year
Red Flag
Im an undergrad….so Im out and about with my girls, thinking we are cute, laughing it up having a good time. A nice looking man appoarches. Starts causal convo something like this….
Dude: Im So-n-So, I’m a Blank (any BGLO), Im a neo. (Proud waitin 4 me 2 grovel at his feet)
Me: Oh dats wassup (looking 4 an exit)
So-n-So it was very nice meeting you, but please excuse me.
I understand you just pledged and your very excited, but damn you cant wait 5 mins in the convo b4 givin me your credentials. You dont even know my name. This dude is looking 4 major ego stroking. He was prob corny b4 he pledged, and now those 3 letters got him acting out. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.
welcome and sh*t, very young one
Thanx, but im not quite sure how i should feel about your very.
Well he didn’t want to say “young one” because that would be an insult due to the fact that a mediocore rapper with a failed career already established that as his name.
As a former neo myself, I have to say proudly that I never laid out my credentials like that. I was a little more subtle, like “yeah well maybe i’ll show you this weekend, ugh can’t be saturday though because my fraternity is doing community service at a homeless shelter for burned children who risked their lives to save whales and puppies.” that usually led to puppy dog eyes and a “aww what fraternity are you in??? are you new?? oh i should have known, please come over and hit it”
LOL
That’s Yung Wun, Darling Dorian.
““yeah well maybe i’ll show you this weekend, ugh can’t be saturday though because my fraternity is doing community service at a homeless shelter for burned children who risked their lives to save whales and puppies.””
I could definitely hear you saying this to some poor girl.
To which I would reply in my usual fashion:
that’s cool (insert polite smiles)
i can’t ever seem to get excited about other people’s activities unless they match mine or are too cool not to comment on.
“a homeless shelter for burned children who risked their lives to save whales and puppies.”
it’s so sad you used these children like this
**SMH**
Speaking of red flags.. this just happened
I went to a co workers wedding a couple of months ago…met the best man he was cool, nice looking etc. We sat at the same table had a few drinks laughed..nothing serious…he tried to get at me before we left, I told him I was Happily married..he asked where my husband was=red flag #1
I told him at home he said well me and my wife are having problems and I am looking for a friend=red flag 2
I told him I was sorry to hear that but my friendship card was full this was 2 months ago.
No lie why did I just have a call transferred to me from the front desk receptionist
it was him
Talking about he had left his wife and couldnt get me off his mind
Uh….I am going home on my lunch break and getting my piece..private property rules be dayumed!!!!
i swear, you and cheryl have the craziest stories, lol. i’d pay one of my interns to follow you around all day with a camcorder
i swear, you and cheryl have the craziest stories, lol. i’d pay one of my interns to follow you around all day with a camcorder
LOL no need. when I finish my autobiography I am sure they will make a movie out of my life….LMAO
but on the real..my husband works with me and while he aint jealous walking out into the parking lot and some crazy guy proclaiming his love to me might not go over to well…..
Oh my. This is a crazy one.
3. she’s a reformed ho
for whatever reason, there seems to be a strong correlation between reformed ho-dom and being habitually cheated on. i have absolutely no idea why this is true…but it is true
Define ho. I’m curious to know, what you think makes someone a ho, besides the been around the block factor. If you’re single and grown, most are more than likely you have at least been to the corner or at least mailbox.
defining ho is more of an art than a science. its hard to explain…but you kind of just know one when you see one.
for the sake of the reply though, here’s my stab:
if the amount of sexual partners you’ve had in your life exceeds the amount of friends you’ve had, you were a ho
if every guy you’ve ever been with has had “magic stick” treatment (if they hit once, they can hit whenever they want) for years, then you were a ho
if the amount of people you’ve been with once quadruples the amount of people you’ve been with more than four times, then you were a ho
if your private parts look like the trashcan in a supermarket deli, you were a ho
if your private parts look like the trashcan in a supermarket deli, you were a ho
LMAO @ the visual
Deli trash!?!?! That may be where those maintenance kegels come into play…
hahaha.
Thanks and sh*t.
Outstanding definition. Wow I’ve really been trying to put this words for years.
Laughing at this whole definition, especially the deli trashcan…lol
Any conversation that ends with ‘I’m just not ready for commitment/marriage’. Means I just wanna play with you for a while before the next best thing comes along.
thanks qinsr, and welcome and sh*t
you might as well have said thanks acronym.
I asked some of my 2520 co workers what were their red flags..the listed these….
1. a girl that seems interested but when you go out has no conversational skills whatsoever
2. a girl that says “I know right” or any of those type of ticks after every sentence
3. a girl that knows has no concept of sports at all, its okay not to follow but to have no idea an example of “I love the baseball and the red sox are my favorite team and she responds..yeah I heard they were pretty good, they score a lot of touchdowns dont they?”
and a girl that orders a drink and then tells the bartender how to make it..
2. a girl that says “I know right” or any of those type of ticks after every sentence
this is almost as bad as the “word? thats wassup” chick.
“this is almost as bad as the “word? thats wassup” chick.”
I resent that…I use the ‘word? that’s wassup’ on occasion.
“a girl that orders a drink and then tells the bartender how to make it..”
OMG…My friend Terri does this mess allll the time!
“OMG…My friend Terri does this mess allll the time!”
sounds like your friend terri is a p.p.o.s. (pretentious piece of sh*t)
Don’t hold back; tell me how u really feel. LOL
1. Setting the bar way too high way too soon in the relationship.
2. Someone that does not have a concept of just having fun and hanging out. Someone that always has to “do something”
3. Random cursing.
4. Inappropriate meaness. It is ok to go off, but there must be a reason, and you must be ready to make bail.
4. Whining about your $ problems early on.
5. Having any money problems
1. Setting the bar way too high way too soon in the relationship
yeah, i hate this one…especially when they be expecting me to shower every week and sh*t. i’m like “trick, you dont know me like that yet. get familiar!!!” and i scurry back into my cave.
LMAO….you’re silly.
“i scurry back into my cave.”
***imaging Champie scurrying*** LMAO!!!
you musta had marmalade on your toast today. btw, cream of wheat makes me smile.
3. Random cursing.
WHAT???? Cursing is an artform.. I make it my personal mission to use as many curse words as possible and to find totally new and innovative ways in which to use them….LMAO
You did the right thing Champ. Good job reading the early warning signs. You could never be good enough in her eyes. No matter what you do she will always see the worst possible scenario because of how she has been hurt before. There is no convincing a woman that you are not those other dudes. I know guys who have been doing nothing but good for their woman for more than a couple years and are still trying to make their woman stop thinking about what some other dude did.
I love your picture too! It has so much pimpin symbolism! I don’t know who the other dude is in the pic but he looks like he is just glad to be able to sit next to the champ and whoever the women are. If you had a fur coat, hat, and cane, this picture would be on PIMP.com.
love your picture too! It has so much pimpin symbolism! I don’t know who the other dude is in the pic but he looks like he is just glad to be able to sit next to the champ and whoever the women are. If you had a fur coat, hat, and cane, this picture would be on PIMP.com.
AWWW such a cute ode to the champ……
I give props where they are due. And that picture is trully pimpin. 2 cute chicks lovin on him while some other dude just looks lonely on the side……priceless.
pah-leeeeeez don’t make Champie’s dome larger than it already is. but i do have to give him props, he kinda gives the impression he was pimpin. but if i remember correctly, he left Spades Night alone and without exchanging numbers. pimpin?? naaaaah.
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