A Guide On How To Properly Slander, Shade, And Insult Millennials…From A Millennial » VSB

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A Guide On How To Properly Slander, Shade, And Insult Millennials…From A Millennial

Code Red Films

 

As the youngest adult generation, Millennials seem to be under constant scrutiny from those a bit more seasoned. Why can’t they get off social media? Why are they so fickle in relationships? And how do they listen to this bastardized version of something we used to call hip hop?  How could anyone think booming 808s, triplet hi hats, and synths were hip hop? Where are the break beats? Where is Ja? Sometimes this generational judgement is well intentioned. A heartfelt plea for improvement. But at other times it’s plain off base. If you’re going to come at us, come correct.

The worst most flagrant offenders on social media? 40 and 50 year old aunts and uncles bombarding your timeline with photos of their decades-too-late glo up. (Hi #MrStealYourGrandma — also known as MrStealYour14-Year-OldBrother’sStretchSkinnies.) Relationship drama? Mostly skittishness from watching your baby boomer father try to juggle two families on the same street. And hip hop? Timbo has been playing around for ¾ time for a minute. Uncle Luke had the 808s bumping and there’s always been lyricists and party rappers. That dichotomy didn’t start with trap. It was there with crunk, it was there with ‘jiggy’ rap in the late 90s, it was there during the infancy of hip hop.

Not a millennial...despite how badly he wants to be one

Not a millennial…despite how badly he wants to be one (@IrvinRandle via Instagram)

The start date for Generation X is commonly accepted as somewhere in the early 1960’s coinciding with the ability to “get it in” with a few less consequences thanks to birth control. There’s a few differing opinions on the the break between Gen X and Millennials. The Pew Research Center sets the divide at 1980, but 1981 is more appropriate. 1981 included some major events that experts consider for the exact date of the generational split: May 13, (The day Pope John Paul II was shot) or August 1st, the launch date of MTV. But those of us in the know agree on September, 4 1981, also known as B-Day.

Beyonce, of the House Knowles, First of Her Name, Queen of the Beyhive, Leader of the Formation, Slayer of Ivy Park, and Mother of Blue, is the first millennial.

The accepted end dates for millennials vary between 1995 and 2000, but the end date of the millennial experience trends earlier.  It’s hard to pinpoint an exact date but a number of significant occurrences in 1995 could be agreed upon. On May 18, 1995, Michael Jordan lost a playoff series to the Orlando Magic that Gen Xers pretend didn’t happen, Microsoft released Internet Explorer, 2016’s last resort web browser on August 16th, and the state of California released OJ Simpson, 2016’s most talked about 90s celebrity from custody on October 3, 1995. Take these dates into account when you’re staring at Desiinger like Fabolous or commenting on the activities of the Smith children.  They are not Millenials. Anyone born after the Summer of 95’ can make no claims to Millennialhood. They are future soldiers of zion against the machines, led by Jaden’s mother and Laurence Fishburne.

Now, that you have an understanding of “who” to slander, let’s get into some of the real shortcomings of Millennials that are worthy of correction or at least soft spots ripe for ridicule.

Gen Xers, unlace your timbs, recite the Living Single theme song and look in the mirror to practice some of these talking points:

Millennials, please stop using GoFundMe to fund personal leisure travel. No, I’m not going to chip in 5 dollars so you can have a spiritual awakening in India. This isn’t Eat. Pray. Love. How about you Save. Your. Money. Extensive travel is a luxury that many people do not have the ability to do and even though travel is an enriching experience, traveling doesn’t make you “better” than those who can’t. It would behoove you to use your ability to crowdsource funds to start a business with friends, put a down payment on a vehicle, or pay for education.

Millennials, skipping church for brunch does not make you modern or truly agnostic. How many Christian boomers in your own family have arabic names? How many five percenter rappers did you grow up listening to? The overarching cultural hegemony of Christianity in Black america is powerful, but don’t think that Millennials were the first generation to question it. Alice Walker had Shug Avery and Celie talk about their idea of God in the “Color Purple” in 1930’s rural Georgia. Maybe you could learn about that struggle from someone older than you.

Millennials, teaching is hard. Respect teachers before you complain that Teach For America didn’t train you enough even though you only joined as a plan B because you couldn’t pass upper level biology. Don’t tap out of the profession because you feel angsty that your master’s degree can’t save every child. While some Gen Xers and Boomers may be jaded, others have helped thousands of children and can be resources for continuing to fight for youth.

Millennials, drugs are bad. Now, doing drugs or even being addicted to drugs does not affect your intrinsic human value. We’re all people. We all deserve love and crab legs. We certainly don’t deserve to be locked up. But, drugs do affect your health, finances and relationships. At some point, especially, in hip hop, the cool guy character changed from a hard drug dealer to a hard drug user. Children of the Ronald Reagan era should be a bit more scrupulous about swinging by Walgreens before the function just because Future said so. Lil Wayne’s history of seizures, Pimp C’s death, and DMX’s latest Breakfast Club interview should be enough of a warning to leave Xanax, Percocet, lean, deer antler spray and ghost pepper sauce alone.

Hopefully, these are helpful tools to keep your millennial slander on point and keep you from being a hypocrite. (Which we all know is very difficult for you.)

Brandon Harrison

Brandon lives in LA and has Hollywood stories that rival those of Rick James. He prides himself on staying righteous and knowing more about basketball than you.

  • Kas

    How fucking young is the comment section?! Were all you muthafuckas born after I graduated from high school?

    • Buster Cannon

      <– 25

    • Prolly so…

      Sooooo what you gon do playa?!

      • Kas

        Nothing, but from now on I’m not listening to any of you (y’all for the southern folks) when you disagree with my opinions.

        • Ess Tee

          We can still clown you about Nia Long, though, right?

          • Kas

            You are welcome to show your less than refined tastes.

            • Ess Tee

              Now you just tryna fight lol.

        • HouseOfBonnets

          But we bonded over 1,000 thread count sheets lol

          • Other_guy13

            IDK how to take this

            • HouseOfBonnets

              Take it as an appreciation of fine linen and Martha Stewart/B. Smith

              • Other_guy13

                I am clearly not refined…I could care less for 1000 thread count sheets…give me a couch and a pillow and im good.

                • HouseOfBonnets

                  Just try it, I promise it will change ya life.

                  • Other_guy13

                    I don’t want my life changed….it’s pretty good now.

                    • HouseOfBonnets

                      Let the sheets soothe you lol

                      You missing out.

                    • Other_guy13

                      Umm….yes ma’am….giggity lol

                • Kas

                  Try it and you will understand. My wife, when I met her, was sleeping on blends. Now she swears by all Egyptian cotton, high thread count.

                  • Other_guy13

                    Hmm…if Ms. Kas says so…I guess I’ll listen

          • Kas

            There is hope for the younger generation.

    • Tyrell Holmes

      Kas lemme find out that you are “Mr. Steal Your Grandma”

      • That old man looks like he smells of a mixture of Axe body spray and Drakkar Noir.

        • Kas

          Drakkar is the truth, only topped by Old Spice. Sadly, there was a time in my life where Drakkar was my go to.

          • Tyrell Holmes

            BRUT

            • Kas

              No sir

            • Sigma_Since 93

              Bruit….was always regifted. I’d wear the Avon men’s cologne and deodorant before I’s wear Brut

          • Sigma_Since 93

            Fahrenheit was the truth and the original Polo….man listen.

            • Tyrell Holmes

              how bout that Cool Water tho

              • miss t-lee

                I could go my whole life and never want to smell that again.

                • Tyrell Holmes

                  my pops still wears it…and u can’t tell him NOTHING

                  • miss t-lee

                    Word? LOL

                    • Tyrell Holmes

                      man idk what barbershop cologne bootleg man is his plug but he needs to stop

                    • miss t-lee

                      Hilarious. Sounds like my late grandfather. He wore that original Polo out, boy!

              • Dana Naildiva Bowman

                I stalked a dude in college behind Cool Water…

              • Kim

                I’m not going to like I actually liked Cool Water

          • Sigma_Since 93

            There were levels to that thing!

            Drakkar
            Polo
            Lagarfield / Fahrenheit
            Old Spice
            Bruit

        • miss t-lee

          Lagerfeld.

        • cakes_and_pies

          Cool Water

      • @ttholmes84:disqus I just legit cackled and woke up the whole office…

    • CHILE!! I’m feeling old as fukk..

    • I turned 37 in May but It varies in age. early 40’s to 20’s.

    • Ess Tee

      I’m turning 37 in October.

    • Tee

      Turning 34 tomorrow. We’re not that young.

      • Tyrell Holmes

        happy early bday…take a shot of white henny for me

        • Tee

          Oh, that’s gone already ????? Thanks, Ty.

          • Tyrell Holmes

            keep that story to yourself lol

            • Tee

              My lips are sealed

      • Other_guy13

        Party time!!!!

    • 33 on 7/7

    • HouseOfBonnets

      25 lol

    • RewindingtonMaximus

      32 bruh. You been knew you was Oldie McOlderton around these parts, thats why your wisdom be that hot s h i t.

      • Kas

        I knew I was the oldest. I didn’t realize how young the rest of you were.

    • Other_guy13

      30….and Old man Kas showing his true colors today I see….for shame!

    • miss t-lee

      As of two weeks ago, I’m knocking on a decade I’m not exactly ready to embrace just yet.

    • Other_guy13
    • Mortal Man

      30 year young.

    • Mizwest

      86′

      • Other_guy13
        • Kas

          Fuck me, I graduated from college in 87.

          • AnswerMe

            I was definitely walking by then.

            • Other_guy13

              I was born the year before but hey…

            • Other_guy13

              I thought you were like 27

              • AnswerMe

                plus 4

                • Other_guy13

                  Well I’ll be damned…I like you more and more…keep it up #30andupiscool

            • Kas

              Good for you

          • miss t-lee

            I was in 4th grade…lol
            I think you might be the elder statesman, homie.

            • Other_guy13

              Eldest statesman…

            • I bet he aint..
              My bad, isn’t.

              • miss t-lee

                Oh…the real elder statesman has arrived…lol

                • Careful…
                  I might not rock them bidge azz pants, but I rock a mean hat collection

                  • miss t-lee

                    we’ve seen your hats, sir.
                    Stunt.

          • Mizwest

            HAHAHAHHAAHAHA, It’s cool @disqus_NauO1vWEEq:disqus we might be able to learn from you O wise one.

            • Other_guy13

              Lies… he wont steer you away from the chaos….he will encourage it.

              • Mizwest

                Sounds about right! lol

                • Other_guy13

                  “steer into the skid” famous last words of @disqus_NauO1vWEEq:disqus

              • Kas

                #facts

                • Other_guy13

                  Your still my moral compass

          • I was in kindergarten…

            • Other_guy13

              I was 2

          • I wasn’t born yet

            • Kas

              Downvote

              • How you gone downvote something I couldn’t control lol

                • Kas

                  You didn’t have to post about it.

        • Mizwest

          Woot! Woot! I’ll be 30 on the 17th and I’m so ready to frown upon those younger than me…

          • Other_guy13

            Welcome…30 looks good on you.,,don’t let anyone tell you different.

            • Mizwest

              Why thank you!!!

          • LMNOP

            Turning 30 is so great, people still treat you like you’re young and stupid, but in your head you can just be like “bish, I’m 30.” It’s great.

            • Mizwest

              Yasss!!! I can’t wait to tell dudes “Sorry boo, your too young for me” lol

    • LKNMRE

      I think I’m consistently the youngest one here at 23.

      • Other_guy13

        Interesting….

      • Darkchloe144

        22. We babes up in here?

      • IlikeHotCheetos

        I’m 23 as well, although I constantly get mistaken for late 20s/early 30s.

    • IsitFridayyet?

      I’ll be 25 in August.

      • Kas

        I need to go find the Very Old Brothas comment section.

      • Ayyyeeee! Early 90’s babies are the best

      • Kim

        Hey, Me too!

    • Brass Tacks

      “Were all you muthafuckas born after I graduated from high school?”

      Yes…and er, you forgot…college

    • I’m old enough to rent things and have bills

    • rlgreen91

      Does this mean we can call you Unc?

      • Kas

        My girlfriend’s crew before my current wife referred to me as either Uncle or Grandpa. Ageism is real in these streets.

        • rlgreen91

          Not Grandpa! That’s like asking a woman about being pregnant – you don’t do that unless they tell you it’s ok.

          • Kas

            It was all in good fun. I was 10+ years older than all of them. Late 30’s for me versus mid 20’s for them.

    • Illumina

      Ha! I feel old as h e l l sometimes, and I’m only going to be 39 in a week.

  • miss t-lee

    I’ve always said generation X’s span was way too long. My older brother and I were born on opposite sides of the 70s and we’re like night and day…no way I have anything in common with someone born in the mid 60s.
    I’ve always thought that us folks born between 76 and 81 needed our own category.

    Oh, and I’ll properly insult you youngins anyway I see fit…thanks for your “suggestions”…lol

    • *hands you some Bengay and helps you to your bed for your mid morning nap*

      • miss t-lee

        *hands you a juice box and graham cracker*

        • At least I have the teeth to enjoy it!

          • miss t-lee

            You have teeth? I wasn’t sure you’d cut them yet?

    • Me and my sister were born in totally different times but are somehow the same generation. Oldest enough to remember Purple Rain dropping and the Russians being a problem but too young for Rapper’s Delight.

      • miss t-lee

        Exactly. I think we talked about this on twitter about our older siblings being in a completely different realm than us. And yet…the same generation somehow.

        • Then again I’m the rare person my age who wasn’t raised by parents who were boomers.

          • miss t-lee

            True. You did have that aspect.

    • LMNOP

      Maybe people born between 76 and 81 can combine with 81 through 86 to be the “who the fuck you calling a millenial?” generation

      • miss t-lee

        Nah. Let’s keep that all the way separated…lol

        • LMNOP

          Fine, Miss-t-lee, we didn’t want to be in your lost generation anyway.

          • miss t-lee

            Love youuuu.

  • DocMaldo

    I am also team GenX all the way, but I never have harsh words for Millennials for two reasons: One, age and time is a mf’er. When I was young and thought I knew the world and was holding folks hostage with my ignorance, a wiser woman told me “just wait.” That was it – ‘just wait and you’ll see’. Now that I’m older (40s), I understand and she was SO FRIGGIN RIGHT! Time has slapped me around like I am a 2 dolla holla in ways I could have never dreamed when I was younger. I’m wiser and stronger for sure, but still! So I know what’s coming for the young skippys and I don’t see the need to pile on with more of the same.

    Also, I need them to stay strong, able, out of jail and to take as many vacations as possible on anybody’s dime since I’m going to be trying to hit up SSI in about 20 years for all I can and their hard-earned dollars will be much appreciated on my monthly check. Love you, Millennials! Stay strong, babies! Together we can make my retirement happen!

    • “…I’m going to be trying to hit up SSI in about 20 years for all I can….”
      If Pres. Trump doesn’t get his way lol.

      • DocMaldo

        Perhaps…but I’m realistic, not hopeful. His “constituents” would turn it up if he tried. I’ll let them fools handle the lightweight.

  • RewindingtonMaximus

    Look.

    I could hate the young kids of today with all my heart (I already do) but there’s a limit to the stupidity. I do know too many older folks s h i t on the yuppies of today but forgot we used to catch that same hate a few years ago.

    All I know is this. I’m an 80s baby, born in 83. That makes me old enough to remember anything from the 60s, 70s, and early 80s because it was on heavy rotation for most of my childhood AND anything 90s & 2000s related because that was my time.

    Old enough to remember Huckleberry Hound. Young enough to know Courage the Cowardly Dog.

    Old enough to remember New Edition at their zenith. Young enough to know the New Edition movie on VH1 about to be some trash.

    Old enough to remember scrambled p o r n. Young enough to forget there was ever a time you had to pay for p o r n.

    In otherwise, me & mines are THE S H I T, everybody else fall back.

    P.S: I randomly started singing B2K – Gots 2 Be while typing this and I am DEEPLY ashamed of myself.

    • miss t-lee

      “P.S: I randomly started singing B2K – Gots 2 Be while typing this and I am DEEPLY ashamed of myself.”

      You should be.

      • RewindingtonMaximus

        Listen…..you gonna quit with the shade today. My ego is in a fragile state.

        • miss t-lee

          hahahahah

    • frfr

    • Tyrell Holmes

      “Old enough to remember scrambled p o r n. Young enough to forget there was ever a time you had to pay for p o r n.”
      when BET uncut was all you had to look forward to

      • AnswerMe

        BET UNCUT!!!! So many “hits”

        • Tyrell Holmes

          sneaking up to watch that with my lil bro

      • RewindingtonMaximus

        Bruh BET Uncut saved lives but when Tip Drill premiered?

        OMG.

        I sincerely think that moment right there is when twerking videos popped off.

        Wasn’t like they weren’t do it before, but they weren’t filming.

        So much respect to the Gawd MC Nelly.

        • Other_guy13

          If you don’t remember “what that thang smell like” your a millennial…there it is…that’s the line…deal with it.

          • LKNMRE

            What if I DO remember it…am I not a millennial, lol? I used to stay up late to watch UnCut, I seen all the good videos.

            • Other_guy13

              how old were you… like 3…smh

              • Tyrell Holmes

                hahahahaha

              • LKNMRE

                Eight.

                • Other_guy13

                  I wont judge…today

            • TJ

              Tip Drill came out when I was 10/11. The oldies think millennials don’t know anything happening in the 1990s/early 2000s.

            • Brandon Allen

              “White….girls….come into my world lol”

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            Nah we can’t even say that…all they had to do was Google it after hearing someone say it!

            • Other_guy13

              Google done change the game.

        • TJ

          But I’m a millennial and remember this vividly. This was peak Nelly and St. Lunatics–early 2000s. All the oldies are bringing up things millennials lived through. Y’all got to dig deeper to stump us. Born in ’89, so maybe that’s why.

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            Big difference between you remembering it and it changing the culture around you.

            • TJ

              Correct. The BET Uncut era and all the videos and music that came out at that time had it’s impact on us older millennials. Probably too much of an impact.

              • RewindingtonMaximus

                I think it had two impacts. It latched on to the internet age of people online dating, sexting, etc…because then twerking videos became major AND the backlash of Tip Drill where women stood up and was like “nah, not having it”.

          • Cee~La

            He was born in the 80s so he’s a millennial also

    • miss t-lee

      “Old enough to remember scrambled p o r n.”

      Spice channel, what up?!

    • Brandon Allen

      I remember all that stuff Rem. I was born in 89. A lot of the cultural connections didn’t change until the internet (which speeds up the generations) and the telecommunications act of 1996 which let media conglomates form.

      • RewindingtonMaximus

        See I think the problem is always that nobody knows exactly where the lines blur for each generation.

        Realistically speaking, even though I’m 32, there isn’t much of a difference between my age and your age, aside from my experiences and the ability I have now to not give a fuck about most things in life anymore.

        I think the problem is people just assume young people care TOO MUCH, because of the desire to be seen and heard at all times today.

      • ChokeOnThisTea

        “I was born in 89”

        So, THIS explains why you’re so he ll bent on placing all 80s babies under the “millennials” title. It’s because YOU barely made the 80s cutoff and you’re tired of the rest of us telling you that, so you’re trying to throw everybody under the bus. Got it.

    • Other_guy13

      Testify!!! B2K though???

      • RewindingtonMaximus

        Listen……women on Twitter be messing with my head.

    • **jots down the word “zenith” to use in a sentence later on, while silently remembering when it was just a TV…**

      • RewindingtonMaximus

        lmao bruh don’t remind me, I got a 32″ one with the fat butt somewhere in storage

    • LKNMRE

      I “remember” that stuff too and I was born in 93. I had older parents and access to the Internet.

      • RewindingtonMaximus

        Yea but the difference is, from my generation, we are part of an era that ended AND an era that began.

        We got the best of both worlds and crafted most of the trends that people use today. It is really perplexing to a remember a time when technology was a privilege for anyone with Black skin because we really didn’t have access to it until the mid-90s if you weren’t rich.

        Shoot even the internet, most Black families didn’t have that until the mid 2000s..so if you had it before then, your parents, like mines, were doing ok.

        • LKNMRE

          We didn’t get the internet until I started high school in 2006. That and a computer was actually my 13th birthday present.

          • rlgreen91

            Right! You’re young, you’ve always had the internet at your finger tips! Nah, we got internet at home when I went to high school, and it was dial up. Still remember those AOL CDs

            • LKNMRE

              My first internet was off one of them AOL CDs, lol. I remember dial up and waking up early to sneak on and praying my mom didn’t pick up the phone!

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            Ok, you just proved my point then.

            I got the internet in 99. Back then, to have it meant you were really well off if you weren’t white. My family was not really well off, my mom just had a real demanding job.

            Most Black households got the internet during the years of 2003-2007. So if your family got it in 2006, you had just came up, but at the same time, the life you were already living was already a part of the technology age, from the TV you were watching, to the music you were listening to. Some of your friends in school had cell phones already, where that was impossible for anyone as a teenager while I was still a kid.

            I’m merely telling you whether you understand it or not, you didn’t get to experience the end of our parent’s era the way someone born between 1980-1985 did. You have benefitted from the 90s & 2000s era, and clearly your parents set some structural rules around you that let you appreciate things that some younger people never did learn.

            • LKNMRE

              When did I say I experienced it? I said I’m familiar with a lot of things from my parents’ era because I grew up around it. I literally grew up watching What’s Happenin and Good Times and Maude and Martin and listening to New Edition and Sade and Whitney Houston because that’s what my mama played for me. Obviously I didn’t “experience” it cause I wasn’t alive, but that doesn’t mean I’m completely unfamiliar. I also had a cell phone before I was 13 because of 9/11, but it didn’t have the Internet on it, and yeah, plenty of my friends had Sidekicks and stuff but they also had younger parents for the most part. My mom was nearly 40 when I was born, I got all the memories from like the 60s on from her.

              • RewindingtonMaximus

                But darlin…my whole point was about EXPERIENCING IT.

                Anyone can not live through an era but be familiar with the pop culture that came out of it, my generation is proof of that. But to actually live through the cultural shift is a totally different story, that’s why I said what I said the whole time.

                • RaeNBow

                  i just CRINGED when i read ‘darlin’ … *sigh*

                  • RewindingtonMaximus

                    See…..I”m old. A habit I got from my dad.

                    • RaeNBow

                      oh it was less of an age thing than a “sheesh, why do men use terms of endearment in a condescending way when they disagree with a woman” thing.

                      not to say that was your intent, but it just came across that way.

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      Ok I see your point.

                      But I wasn’t trying to be condescending. The people here are too intelligent for me to talk down on anyone.

    • PhDivaLife

      I was also born in ’83, but I am a late in life baby and my siblings are 16 and 17 years older than me (born in 66 and 67). I really identify with a lot of stuff from the 70s…b/c there was a lot of that stuff around the house when I was growing up. Plus, we lived way out in the boonies, so we never had cable when I was growing up. I spent a lot of time watching re-runs/syndicated shows/cartoons that were from the 60s/70s. I definitely don’t use the “millennial” lens to view the world.

    • Gibbous

      1) I think about my great grandmother who went from horse drawn buggies to man on the moon in 86 years (1900 – 1986)
      2) I’ve gone from the Commodore computer which essentially was an old black & white TV hooked to a cassette deck (do not ask me how that worked) to an Android phone. (1970 – 2016) that does more than that Commodore.

      The pace of technology then was such that every new invention was appreciated and used. Now people can’t wait to toss what they got last year in search of the newest model of whatever. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate tech, but you’ll never see me getting anything more than the “free” upgrade on my Verizon plan either.

  • TJ

    So many 28-35 year olds in denial. Signed, a 26-year-old with Timbs and the complete Living Single collection on DVD

    I skip church for brunch, because I’m a heathen and like breakfast potatoes?

    • Brandon Allen

      Nothing wrong with that. Some people think that makes them deep tho.

    • HouseOfBonnets

      Hash browns ftw

    • “I skip church for brunch, because I’m a heathen and like breakfast potatoes?”

      I skip church for sleep and cartoons.

  • IsitFridayyet?

    “Respect teachers before you complain that Teach For America didn’t train you enough even though you only joined as a plan B because you couldn’t pass upper level biology.”

    This is top-shelf shade of the highest quality.

    • HouseOfBonnets

      This also deserved a round of applause lol

  • ChokeOnThisTea

    What you not gon’ do is slander sexy grandpa, Brandon. That’s what you NOT gon’ do. (Even if he does look like a cot damb fool in skinny jeans with a grey beard. He still looks good.)

    Now back to reading the rest of the article.

    • LKNMRE

      But did you see him WITHOUT the beard?????????????????? That ninja catfishin us.

      • He is soooo unremarkable without that beard

      • miss t-lee

        Somebody on IG said they’d been facefished, I hollered.

        • ChokeOnThisTea

          BWAHAHAHAHA

        • They were DROOLIN’ over this cat daddy hipster at work, until they played his interview, lol.

          • miss t-lee

            Grand opening, grand closing…eh?

            • Im still chucklin over you saying ” sahara”

              • miss t-lee

                You know exactly what I mean, too…lol

                • I know it’s not a good sign if a sister, immediately says “welp, nothin.”…
                  I’m gettin dressed in the dark and leaving.

                  • miss t-lee

                    *cackling*

      • ChokeOnThisTea

        Noooo….but on my way to look

      • TJ

        So tragic. Even with the beard…the face isn’t his selling point.

        • ChokeOnThisTea

          Huh?!!

        • LKNMRE

          I thought the same thing. But, living around hipsters as I do, I’ve learned to look past the beard to see the weak jawline. Can’t pull the wool over MY EYES

          • TJ

            He definitely struggles with putting on pillowcases.

            • LKNMRE

              STOP! I AM CACKLING

            • miss t-lee

              Why am I laughing so hard at this?!

      • ChokeOnThisTea

        Where are these beardless pics you speak of? I can’t find any on his IG.

      • ChokeOnThisTea

        Oh. Never mind. I found them. He is NOT as hideous as you all are making him out to be. Lmao!!! Just terrible.

        I still think he’s attractive, but I haven’t heard him speak yet.

        • Mizwest

          Girl just wait for it…..

          • ChokeOnThisTea

            I still think he’s handsome. Who y’all want? Jesus with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s body?!!!

            • Mizwest

              No, I want some base in that voice. He speaks softer than me!

            • miss t-lee

              Problem?

              • ChokeOnThisTea

                *cackling*

                I swear I can’t with y’all.

        • miss t-lee
          • ChokeOnThisTea

            I guess I’m riding solo dolo on this one. I don’t see the problem.

            • miss t-lee

              Have at it.

          • Tee

            Oh

            I was with COTT until I saw this video. That voice…how depressing…smh.

            • miss t-lee

              *cackling*

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          He’s not but that’s literal proof the internet has no chill, no love, no fucks given.

          They went from in love with homie to “the fuck is wrong with his face!” in like 3.5 seconds…..gotdamn

          • Mizwest

            LMAO!!!!

          • ChokeOnThisTea

            They Ayesha Curried his as s. How unfortunate.

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              They really did.

              Build them up, and knock them the fuck down on some “I made you, I can break you” type steez.

    • miss t-lee

      He’s not sexy.
      Have you seen him sans beard? Have you heard him talk?

      Report back if you haven’t…lol

      • ChokeOnThisTea

        Reporting: I have not.

        • miss t-lee

          Yeah, get on that.

      • LKNMRE

        His voice to fineness ratio is worse than David Beckham’s!

        • miss t-lee

          Beckham is still fine, I just can’t stand to hear him talk though.
          Sahara.

        • what’s wrong with a squeaky voice?

          • miss t-lee

            Plenty.

          • Mizwest

            Everything!

            • AnswerMe

              You beat me to it.

      • TJ

        Omg. I was seeing videos of him speaking at ESSENCE Fest. I’m like, who’s Smokey Robinson-sounding daddy tickets to the Superdome?!

        • miss t-lee

          LMFAO

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          lmao so much shade

      • Ess Tee

        I have experienced both of these things, hence my wish for him to go away.

        He no longer serves a purpose.

    • Tee

      He’s nice looking….but only with the sunglasses on. He’s got beady eyes.

      • ChokeOnThisTea

        Lol. Da mn. Tough crowd.

        • Kas

          It is how our comment section gets down.

          • ChokeOnThisTea

            Indeed.

        • Tee

          I’m on your side. I like him. Just keep the glasses on boo. Beady eyes make me nervous lol

          • AnswerMe

            Beady = mischief

            • Tee

              Accurate

            • Other_guy13

              Is this why nobody trust me?

              • AnswerMe

                That and you ghost on women who ask when you’re marrying them.

                • Other_guy13

                  I should have never opened up to you

          • ChokeOnThisTea

            Lmao!!! I can’t with y’all.

          • Wearing sunglasses to bed = nope.

      • Ok but his body is amazing and I bet he has a good back for “activities”

        • ChokeOnThisTea
        • miss t-lee
          • Seasoned d * c k is just as good as any other d * c k.

            • miss t-lee

              I wouldn’t know. I don’t f*ck with old men.

              • No different than f*cking the ones your own age. Their kids are grown (if they had them), they got pension money to blow, they live in developments where someone else manicures the yard….you should look into it.

                • Kas

                  Look at you dropping distasteful knowledge.

                • miss t-lee

                  Nah. That’s all you.

      • cakes_and_pies

        And keep the beard. That weak chin threw me off.

        • miss t-lee

          He didn’t even have a chin. He had a front neck.

    • They interviewed this guy, and I almost gave him a pass until he had on nephews jeans and Mike Tysons voice that came out that elderly beard.

      • ChokeOnThisTea

        He does NOT have a Nike Tyson voice. Lol

  • Everyone envies youth. That being said, millenials think every critique is an attack. Sometimes, y’all are just messing up.

    • AnswerMe

      They don’t do criticism.

      • They think “whatever” is the proper response to everything.

        • Whatever.

          • I walked right in to that one….

            • Millennials- 1
              People Who Swear They Saw Abraham Lincoln Murdered- 0

              • Thats pretty funny.

                • Ask anyone born before 1985 about anything and their response is always some variation of “Well, I remember when…….”

                  No, you don’t, you ain’t no where near eligible for retirement so you are in the same boat as me :-)

                  • LMNOP

                    Well, in 1985 there was that big meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs

                  • Kas

                    I qualify for retirement in less than 30 days. Unfortunately, said retirement would only pay $500/month, so Imma keep working.

                    • Another reason y’all are bitter and need to direct your misguided hate towards baby boomers. I’m not eating up that social security money….

                    • Kas

                      I’m not bitter, just jealous of no longer being young.

                    • Sounds like a personal problem you should see a therapist or some other qualified professional about. Let the young people live. We’re already doing better than Gen X on so many levels. We’re a better version of you all :-)

                      Less debt.
                      Less children.
                      Less stress.

                      Thanks for f*cking up so we could learn from your mistakes.

                    • rlgreen91

                      Less debt? Less stress? Ummm

                    • Kas

                      No debt
                      Two kids
                      35 hour workweek for the most part

                      I would trade the first and last for pain free knees and a better metabolism.

                    • Blueberry01

                      Have you tried soaking in Epsom Salt for about 30 minutes – 1 hour? It does wonders!

                    • Conrad Bess

                      C’mon Kas. To quote the GOAT –
                      “Timeless, so age don’t count in the booth, when your flow stay submerged in the fountain of youth”.
                      We all know youth is wasted on the young.

              • I mean, Abe shouldn’t have been at that trap house on that night.

              • TJ

                I’m HOLLERING. John WIlkes’ Booth squad!

      • miss t-lee

        Woo.

    • THIS!!

    • Yep it happens to every generation and they all deal.

    • Other_guy13

      So said the baby face assassin….wait…im not a millennial…carry on.

    • PDL – Cape Girl Shero

      I don’t agree that everyone envies youth, but I will agree millenials can’t discern between constructive criticism and attacking.

      • Amen.

      • LKNMRE

        I don’t think Gen Xers or Baby Boomers actually know what constructive criticism is, lol. Cause most of the critiques y’all have on us are literally direct results of how y’all raised us.

        • Kas

          Go sit somewhere while the adults discuss your shortcomings.

          • LKNMRE

            The shortcomings of how y’all raised us? Sure.

            • Not us.. my kid is only 14

              • LKNMRE

                Wait, YOU can say “not me” when I say “y’all raised us” but we can’t say “not me” when y’all generalize us…? I’m sensing some double standards….

                • Girl, yes… i think for the most part the millennials here are pretty level headed BUT there are waaaaaaaay more that are fuck ups.

              • LMNOP

                Right, people in their 30s didn’t raise a generation that’s in their 20s.

                • I know a number of people my age with parents who are just hitting their 40’s. So no, people in their 30’s have definitely had a hand in raising this current crop of young adults.

                  • LMNOP

                    I was thinking of a ten year age gap, but I guess technically 30s and 20s includes a 20 year span. Good catch young whippersnapper.

                  • LMNOP

                    I mean I am in that demographic of old azz parents in their 30s who just found out today that they’re “millenials,” so I understand.

                    Honestly I’ve never had a problem with millenials though, beyond just the general insufferability of very young adults, which is pretty consistent generation to generation.

                  • Brandon Allen

                    And current teenagers aren’t Millenials…

                • I’m 42… sooooooo…lol

          • Boom

        • Each generations has selective amnesia when it comes to who raised who and on what values.

        • PDL – Cape Girl Shero

          We don’t want to see y’all fall over a cliff….LOL We love y’all and want what’s best :) I’d agree tho, sometimes rather than trying to understand what’s going on, we dive in criticism first.

          • It’s because y’all are bitter lol

        • Spit

          Touche…

      • SAS

        Well in that case; I’d like to plead the case that the millenial age ended in 2000. To include my teenage daughter. Who is bat-shit crazy and wants to argue that everything out of my mouth is a personal attack (Ok, I’m good.)

        • LKNMRE

          That’s just called being a teenager. You were probably the same way, you just didn’t voice it.

        • LMNOP

          Honestly, that’s probably mostly a developmental thing, she’ll outgrow it. Teenagers can be very emotional and touchy, their brains are going through a lot.

      • Negro Libre

        It’s probably accurate to say, that Millennials are just a greater embodiment of the trends that Baby Boomers began in the 1960’s. It’s kind of ironic that hipsters have resurged among the Millennials today – it’s almost like the restart of a cycle. It’s just more visible because of social media, but pretty much every generation since the Boomers has displayed a lot of their negative traits that they had when they were young, that they didn’t know how to address with as they got older and still had nostalgia for.

    • HouseOfBonnets

      I just don’t like the blanket statements and assumptions, Just because some are in a egg carton insulated basement drinking lean doesn’t mean we all are lol

      • Lmao. True. I’m out here on a huge water kick and not willfully killing my liver.

      • -h.h.h.-

        sure…lol.

        • HouseOfBonnets

          Trust I am no ones D-Jay.

    • Spit

      Preach!!!

    • Gibbous

      I do not envy youth. There is no amount of money you could pay me to live through that foolishness, or BE that foolish again. I am quite happy to be my age, thank you very much, especially since my “give a damn” is breaking and my filter is getting a hole in it.

    • Okaykaykay

      That’s cause its always an attack or critique. No balance. How often do u hear ppl saying something positive about millenials..

      • Every mayor in America wants to be the new home for millennials. You guys are hot right now.

    • Cheech
  • How do people dislike my generation when we’ve given y’all so much??

    Your day to day social media interactions are, in large part, due to someone under the age of 33. Y’all need to redirect this hate at Generation Baby Boomer for making all of our lives terrible. We have a common enemy in them.

    Hug a Millennial today ? You can start with me, I also enjoy candy and what not.

    • LKNMRE

      Love when people slander millennials on Facebook like ol’ Marky Mark Zuckerberg wasn’t born in 84.

      • The irony isn’t lost on me lol it’s all good though. I know the hatred comes from a place of jealousy and deep regret from most. I’d be mad too if I was out here living the lives that some of these people lead.

        • Stop it. Lol

          • Half of y’all just watched your portfolios burning slowly with that Brexit announcement. It’s a cold world out here lol

            • Kas

              Made back plus some over the following week by just sitting tight. Luckily we old people still don’t know how to access our accounts online.

              • good for you!

              • Gibbous

                Yup. Just leave it alone for a decade or two and you’ll be aight! It’s those whipper snappers talkin’ ’bout selling and buying that’ll lose your money tout suite.

            • Occupy Wall Street was yall… I’m good over here! Lol

              • That was some old unorganized bullshid with no true goal. Let us live, we tried.

                • You can’t have it both ways.. lmao

                • esa

                  Occupy was counter-opps. the goal was met. following that stunt, the United States congress passed a bill that the government can legally disappear U.S. citizens suspected of terrorism.

                  • Welp….massa I’s being good. Justa workin’ and praying to white Jesus.

              • Lego

                BLM started with millennials though and Occupy wasn’t a total waste.

        • Kas

          Your insult game (shade?) Is on point today.

          • Gotta represent for my generation since y’all dinosaurs always want to break us down.

    • LKNMRE

      I’ll skip the hug but I’ll take some job leads or possibly a rent voucher.

      • Kas

        Not sure what your income level is but you might try looking into the affordable housing program for rentals in Cali. The developments built since the 2000’s are as good or nicer than the market rate developments.

        • LKNMRE

          I make too much. You’d be surprised how little you have to make to actually be considered poor.

          • Kas

            For la county, the cut off for being poor enough to qualify for affordable housing as a single person is $36,480. Not a ton of money, but a bit above destitute in my opinion.

            • LKNMRE

              Let’s also take into account that 1. Affordable housing vs. regular housing here is night and day. 2. Affordable housing is often in inaccessible neighborhoods, especially for me, as I work all over the city and can’t be trying to commute to the Valley from Long Beach. 3. On that inaccessibility, I use Uber to get everywhere. I move to one of those neighborhoods and I’m instantly spending triple on Uber just to get around. 4. I make roughly 30k a year, in a good year, but I also support my mother.

              • RewindingtonMaximus

                I feel your pain. I started working when jobs started cutting wages severely and now when I see people try to get jobs, I remember how much money is being removed to these new employees, starting them at less than $30k in a city where you need at least $50k to be not poor. And as an adult, the amout of money I make for the kind of work I do is just stupid. Beyond stupid. Add to that taking care of family..I commend you.

              • Kas

                What neighborhood you want to be in?

                • LKNMRE

                  I have to be central, mostly in Hollywood cause I work literally all over LA County. I’m fine on housing, though, the rent voucher was a joke. I would never move into affordable housing nor would I apply for it. I’m good, lol. I’m just pointing out why that’s not always plausible for people who are creatives/in film like me. Thanks for the interest.

                  • Kas

                    Hope I didn’t offend by raising the issue.

                  • Brandon Allen

                    Hollywood is shooting a bit high. Try Mid city right on the north side of pico. Not quite the hood, still central.

                    • LKNMRE

                      I already live in Hollywood and I pay my rent fine, lol, don’t worry about me.

                    • Brandon Allen

                      Lol just trying to look out

              • Uncategorized

                Come to AZ. 30k will stretch a little further out here. And yeah, those cut offs are pretty low. I make a little over 50k with five kids and don’t qualify for ANYTHING. Luckily, rent here is probably one third Cali prices.

                ** Edit: I just read you work in film, so I retract my AZ recommendation.

    • RewindingtonMaximus

      You aint that much younger than me. Yoiu can still get the hug though.

      https://66.media.tumblr.com/7b0c12422a18ce3b800f4644ed6f26c5/tumblr_inline_mkp0k1jUer1qz4rgp.gif

      • You’re a Millennial so you can hug yourself.

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          Bruh I aint a milennial.

          You was in a training bra by the time I got married.

          • BrownKitty289

            Whoa…

    • You tried it..lol

      • Would you like a glass of prune juice with your salt madam??

        • Lmao… prune juice as in wine? HeII yeah!!!!

          I love you though!

          • ? I’ll make sure you get the extra soft mashed potatoes at dinner time girl!

    • “Hug a Millennial today ? You can start with me, I also enjoy candy and what not.”

      AP, run away if someone in a white van or Jaguar from the late 90’s tries this.

      • I watch enough Forensic Files to know what the red flags are but thank you! Wu loves the kids!!

      • RewindingtonMaximus

        His name might be Ted.

        Just saying.

    • esa

      to be honest, millennials give me life ~*~

      i can withstand the folly of youth and its entitlement far better than the bitter righteous ignorance of the people who have lived long enough to know better.

    • Gibbous

      I don’t hate millennials, 4 of my sisters are millennials. I’m just bewildered sometimes, at what you deem important and what you spend your money on. Hate, or even dislike is way too much effort for something you can’t change.

  • PDL – Cape Girl Shero

    This dude in the pic, ummm no! What’s up with the dyed hair and gray beard tho? Skinny jeans at what, fifty/sixty something? Naaah, don’t do that. He’s got a nice bod and all, but that ain’t okay to on FB or whatever social site in skinny jeans.

    Edit: This dude is really caught up, he’s posting full frontal views…LOL

    • RewindingtonMaximus

      Welp like half the internet disagreed with you until like 3 days ago, where they find pics of him without his beard, and now the love affair is in disary.

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