A Few Things That Are Right With America Right Now » VSB

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A Few Things That Are Right With America Right Now

Rick Diamond/Getty Images for Essential Broadcast Media

 

We’ve had a rough two weeks, man.  I mean, collectively it’s been a tough time to live in America with constant reminders of everything that’s wrong.

So how about we take a step back, breathe, and try to focus on a few things that are right with America?  Yeah, cops are still killing black folks and crazy people with guns are making it hard for everybody, but we gotta try to accentuate the positive and whatnot, right?

Here’s just a quick list of a few things that aren’t so bad in America right now.

Atlanta

The city that’s proven that if you can’t make it anywhere else, you can make it there.  Moving to Atlanta is the modern equivalent of heading out west to pan for gold.  Are you unskilled labor in Cleveland looking for a fresh start as a party promoter or maybe you’re a cute chick who just graduated hair school in Chattanooga looking to become a model? If you have $300 and a metro Atlanta address, you’re home free towards your new life!

All joking aside, Atlanta really is a great city for fresh starts.  They have a major airport, thriving culture, and a reasonable cost of living.  It’s one of the few major cities where you can still live the middle class American Dream.  Plus, everyone else there is an ex-pat, so you’ll feel right at home.

Keith David

The man is God’s gift to speech and narration.  Keith David’s voice carries equal parts of Paul Robeson’s gravitas and MC Ren’s badassery.  He can recite the preamble to the Constitution and then tell a muthafucka to get him some Kool 100s without changing intonation while still sounding appropriate.

And he’s the voice of the United States Navy.  Can you imagine an Ohio Class submarine surfacing off the coast of North Korea with Keith David standing on the bow telling Kim Jong Un to “Cut that nuclear monkey shit out”?  I can, and I’m pretty sure global nuclear monkey shit would drop precipitously after that incident.

All Day Breakfast at McDonald’s

Because it’s proof that anything’s possible if you just believe.

Cadillacs

America still makes Caddies.  These awesome land yachts of luxurious petroleum consumption are the prototypical vehicle for embodying the American ethos.  The President rides in one.  Your pastor drives one.  They’re used as hearses so they’re the last car most people will ever ride in.

There’s just something spine-tinglingly American (and unapologetically black) about driving a Cadillac.  The gold accents, the spoked wheels, the fins, all of the needless opulence of the American existence rolling down the street. The Germans can’t do that.

Tacos

Yes, they are technically Mexican, but as Americans we’ve adopted them and Columbused the shit outta what can constitute a taco.  We even took a night on our good ol’ American calendar each week and dedicated Tuesdays to taco consumption.

Our friends south of the border blessed us with a simple vehicle for the consumption of protein, cheese, and vegetables and we smacked it up, flipped it, and turned it into brisket tacos, fish tacos, portabella mushroom tacos, fried chicken tacos, taco salads, walking tacos, and even dessert style choco-tacos.  America without tacos would be a sad and barren wasteland of pizza and burgers only with Tuesday nights being the exclusive domain on casseroles.

The United States Air Force Thunderbirds

Because they’re totally rad and seeing F-16s do tricks in the sky can turn a grown man into a 9 year-old kid.

Willie Nelson

At the time of this writing, Willie Nelson is still alive and probably somewhere being cool as shit and smoking a joint.  He’s the bridge between Conway Twitty and Snoop Dogg uniquely positioned as both an American institution and outlaw.  But most importantly, he’s just really fucking cool.

The NCAA Tournament

Every year, for three weeks, almost every office working American schlub turns into a sports enthusiast and basketball expert.  It’s one of the few seemingly egalitarian experiences in sports where, theoretically, any team can win.  And when one of those any teams advances, it makes us feel like we can relate.  It becomes our own allegory.  We’re Butler or George Mason or Florida Gulf Coast in something that we’re doing whether we’re an underdog at work or being counted out on a personal level.

The Tourney is uniquely great and American because it’s the embodiment of equal access over just equal opportunity.

Marian Robinson

Barack Obama’s mother-in-law is a black woman from the South Side of Chicago and she’s spent the past seven plus years living in the White House.  Whenever you want to get down on our country, our policies, our politics, or whatever, just remember that there’s an old black woman sitting in the White House serving as the unofficial Secretary of We Ain’t Having That Shit.

You think any funny business has gone down or is gonna come to pass with a old black woman holding down the fort?  Nah, she ain’t having that shit.  I bet them Obama girls say “please” and “thank you” and Barack knows not to put his elbows on the table at dinner.  America’s going to be just fine as long as there’s an old black lady in the White House who’s really telling everybody what to do.

Corey Richardson

Corey Richardson is originally from Newport News, Virginia currently living in Chicago, Illinois with his wife and two daughters. Ad guy at work, Dad guy in life, and whiskey enthusiast, Corey spends his time crafting words, telling bedtime stories, and working hard at becoming the legend he is in his own mind. You can read his paternal musings at FatherlyNoir.com where he chronicles his life doing battle with all of the women with his last name.

  • Charles Johnson

    Tacos – i’m still waiting for the day when we can say “we [‘merica] invented that shyt”
    NCAA – yes I’m one of those ppl who tried to say something smart but just talking more shyt than by “wadda bum bum” hole
    Willie Nelson – why does everybody like him? I don’t know enough about that guy but everyones like “he cool”

    • Negro Libre

      Willie Nelson – is the old, white, country, hipster version of Snoop.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWCa3GvbNUE

      • Charles Johnson

        NL all that tells me he smokes ganja, did he say or do something? I dunno

      • Charles Johnson

        I was NOT expecting that

      • Courtney Wheeler

        I back anything Willie Nelson related…and Dolly Parton…and Hall and Oates.

    • L8Comer

      Nothing more American than Columbusing something (tacos) and turning it into a much worse, bastar dized version of what it was lol!! But, eghhhh I hate the U.S. versions of “tacos”. Let’s leave columbusing behind when we Blaxit

      • Charles Johnson

        Oh God let’s please leave behind colorism, all it’s shade (pun definitely intended) all its privileges all its jokes

    • DBoySlim

      Willie Nelson is great. You have to read his book.

    • Abby

      Wille Nelson wrote the song, “Crazy” popularized by Patsy Cline. He is cool for life after that.

  • ChokeOnThisTea

    1) Beyonce’s braided ponytail
    2) DL Hughley being right for once and handing Megyn Kelly her as s
    3) Serena Williams
    4) Beyonce’s Emmy Nomination for Lemonade
    5) $0.56 for pancakes at iHop the other day
    6) PokemonGo (minus the dead body and arrests)

    • Charles Johnson

      you on pokemongo?

      • ChokeOnThisTea

        I’m not, but my bf is. He’s slowly convincing me to join. It does look pretty cool.

        • Charles Johnson

          i think i might join

          • Brandon Allen

            Join and enjoy life.

            • Charles Johnson

              Word?! It’s like that? shoo if you cosign…

        • Mortal Man

          My wife schedule a Pokemon Go date today.

          By date- since she plays and I don’t, we’ll be going to the park with the pond because she wants more water Pokemon.

          hhharris.wordpress.com

          • Negro Libre

            Lol, u gotta love our generation.

            20 years from now, people are gonna be wearing Cosplay Super Saiyan hair during Congressional Hearings!

            • Mortal Man

              I can imagine the reaction to the Republicans not passing any legislation being five minutes of powering up for a Kamehameha Wave.

              hhharris.wordpress.com

            • LMNOP

              I can see pokemon go taking off in nursing homes in 50 years.

              • Negro Libre

                I just ran into an army of pokemon go zombies, while taking a walk downtown.

                Oh, and yeah, it’s raining outside…and nobody had an umbrella.

          • Mr. Mooggyy

            Tell your wife to be careful. The other day, a man was so engulfed in Pokemonism…homeboy walked right into a body of water! These Poke-streets is dangerous!

            • Mortal Man

              Forget the Poke-streets, try the Poke-sheets. She nearly fell out our bed tracking down a rouge Bulbasaur in our bedroom.

    • Courtney Wheeler

      whoa…there was 56 cent pancakes at IHOP?…and I didn’t know about this?

      • ChokeOnThisTea

        Apparently. And free sandwiches at chic Fil a if you dressed up like a cow.

        • Tee

          That wasn’t happening.

          • L8Comer

            Lol!! That’s way too much effort. Can’t you just “moo”?

            • Tee

              Ha! I thought about it too like…. I want some free Chik Fil A…. but I ain’t wearing no dayum cow suit nor do I have one

            • rahshedah

              I said that same thing to a co worker. Why can’t me saying “moo” be enough. I mean, where are people digging up a whole cow costume? I’mma be ready next year though. lol. If they do it next year.

        • All you gotta where is black and white. They even have cut out ears and spots if you want to use them. I wore a white t-shirt, some black basketball shorts and some Jordan’s and still got my free sammich

          • ChokeOnThisTea

            LMAO!!! I know that’s right.

        • Cheech

          Wait–when is this free chik fil a deal?

          • ChokeOnThisTea

            You a day (or 2) late and a dollar short, Cheech. Gotta wait till next year again.

            • Cheech

              @$!÷€=*$£!

              *hangs cow jacket back in closet

        • Mochasister

          Now I get it. I was just there last week and saw this lady and her kids wearing white shirts with big black spots. I thought maybe they were leaving a dress rehearsal for a play about Dalmatians.

      • Tee

        58 cent pancakes to celebrate their 58th anniversary. It was a customer appreciation deal. IHOP pancakes dry as h e l l though. *runs out the room*

        • L8Comer

          I don’t like pancakes at all. *leaves the internet* Sorry Panama, or is it Daymoan who’s obsessed?

          • Tee
            • ChokeOnThisTea

              Right. Don’t like pancakes?!! I bet she doesn’t like icecream or babies either. Can’t trust her no more. Feds.

              • L8Comer

                Poppycock, I love babies and ice cream. Welll… you can call me the feds, as long as I’m still black….

                *snatches up black card quickly before anyone gets any ideas*

            • L8Comer

              Yeah I said it

              • Tee

                Which do you prefer: Waffles or French toast?

                • L8Comer

                  I’m not sure honestly. I like both. Maybe french toast.

                  • Cheech

                    Last weekend Bobby flay was making French Toast IN the waffle iron.

                    • L8Comer

                      That sounds like a dreamm… I gotta look that this beautiful foor p0 rn up.

              • LMNOP

                They don’t need to be plain, Pancakes have a lot of potential. You can put all kinds of stuff in them, bananas, chocolate chips, blueberries, oats, nuts, whatever you want! Pancakes can do it all. And real buttermilk pancakes, mmm, not plain at all.

                • L8Comer

                  Eh, Idk LMNOP. I still find they don’t stay hot past the first 2 bites, very few people get them so they are little crispy, and they get soggy and mushy half way through… mehhh. I don’t hate them, I just won’t ever eat them lol.

              • Mochasister

                Yeah, I always have to ask them to put my pancakes on a separate plate and reheat them. I need that little patience of butter to melt.

          • Katie

            Team Waffle!

            • L8Comer

              Yes, I will do a nice hot crispy waffle. With nuts and honey drizzled on it and slice strawberries on the side

              • Katie

                Great. Now I want a choco-taco AND that dream waffle you just described.

              • Nik White

                And some chicken wings!

            • brothaskeeper

              Here we go.

          • MsSula

            Right there with you. At least waffles have some texture to them. Lol.

        • ChokeOnThisTea

          lmao!!!

        • Courtney Wheeler

          lmao *shots fired*

    • Val

      It was so hard for me to upvote you with DL on your list. I really, really do not like that guy. I’ll never forget his c00nish remarks about the Rutgers

      • Illumina

        “I’ll never forget his c00nish remarks about the Rutgers”

        Me either. He always, ALWAYS, s h i t t y things to say about black women. Those Rutgers remarks were just the beginning.

      • rahshedah

        DL is really trying to convince people he is the smartest guy in the room, but I’m not buying it. He’s the guy who has read that one book and now he knows everything about everything.

      • ChokeOnThisTea

        I know. Believe me, I know.

  • A-Town stand up. (Goes back to read the rest of the article)

    • ChokeOnThisTea

      I feel like Atlanta was IT in the early 2000s. Everybody wanted to go there. Then Real Housewives of Atlanta and Mona Scott happened and well, not so much. You all got a bad rep, but I can see it starting to turn around for the better now.

      • I’m a native. I’m still here. I will probably expire here (hopefully due to old age). I still love it here. All these transplants, though! Always complaining about how it ain’t what they thought it would be and that they miss “home”. Well, we’re at capacity and unless they got a scholarship here or a job relocation, they can go back from whence they came. #WeFull

        • ChokeOnThisTea

          Well. You just told our as ses, huh? Lol!!!! #YouRightThough

        • Lea Thrace

          Yaaasssss! Atl is everything. And bump anyone who thinks otherwise.

  • Skegeeaces

    Rep my ciiiiittttttyyyyyy!

    But seriously- stop moving to Atlanta. We’re FULL.

    Thank you,

    Management

    • DBoySlim

      I’m still trying to move back.

      • brothaskeeper

        LMAO @ y’all waxing like it’s the Nexus from Star Trek!

        • DBoySlim

          My circle was the Nexus. Wild as s parties, randos everwhere. I was engulfed in thotful behavior.

    • panamajackson

      Interestingly enough, for years my lone goal in life was to move back to ATL and reclaim my rightful spot as Overlord of Adamsville. But the truth is, the more I come back, the less I want to live there. It’s not the ATL of my youth.

      • Mortal Man

        What has changed?

        • panamajackson

          I can’t quite put my finger on it. I love being there. The air feels better. I feel at home. But I just don’t feel like I need to live there anymore. I’ve been wrestling with this for years now.

          • Brandon Allen

            Is it the been there done that feeling? And the lack of…centrality? I hate how everything is 10 minutes away but it would take you 30 to walk it.

          • Mortal Man

            Maybe it’s the sense that you’d have to rebuild again. Home is home, but home changes and you’d have to work hard to fully re-integrate back into that city.

            • MsSula

              That’s a very good point.

              4 and a half years ago I moved back to my hometown after being abroad for 15 years. It’s where I grew up, where my parents live, where I can find folks who knew me when I was a toddler, but it took a good 2-3 years to build back a network I am comfortable with. Home becomes the place where you have your habits and your homies.

          • Betty’s Babygirl

            It can be simply be that ATL will always be home. But where you are at this point of your life it’s not where your mind/soul is at.

      • HoneyRose

        Yeah, same. I wanted to move back to Atlanta after grad school, but when I went back down to visit I sort of lost the desire to move back there.

    • Tee

      I thought about moving to ATL but the job market convinced me otherwise.

      • Nik White

        And the freeway system.

  • Mortal Man

    I’ve only driven through Atlanta.

    Takes 3 dang hours every time due to the traffic. Will be back there for a work summit in two weeks.

    hhharris.wordpress.com

    • The women in the ATL airport, #doe. They will make you want to trade your Ball & Chain in for a ticket on a one way trip in to Georgia.

      • Mortal Man

        I’ve only heard stories about the gender imbalance in Atlanta.

        hhharris.wordpress.com

        • brothaskeeper

          The stories are real. The A is a single Black man’s playground.

        • It’s REAL.

      • I see that and raise you Peachtree Center. Between the MARTA, the street meat that takes cards and even some homophobic chicken Biscuits, it’s like Midtown Manhattan 2.0 but with better looking women.

        • Anytime you see a Black person with a smoker and a lawn chair you better stop.

        • PDL – Cape Girl Shero

          Upvote because I love to walk there on my lunch break

      • BrownBearBear

        I”m a lady here, and late to this game but I will attest to that. The first and only time I’ve been to ATL on business (not a fan) as a West Coast Kid that southern niceness freaks me out. But, the ATL ariport is a ish-show, and after checking in my bladder is about to bust and I’ve got like look on my face like I’m about to shank someone unless I find a bathroom and this TSA lady was like “Suga, what’s wrong? You ok? Why you looking like that, Can I help?”

        She directed me to the bathroom, and saved my life but in my four days there I’ve never been called been ma’mn more in my life and I’m 30.

  • Tee

    BK mentioned it the other day, but T-Mobile Tuesdays is FTW. I thought about quitting T-Mobile a few months ago but they saved themselves with the free movie tickets giveaway, free stock and free unlimited Wendy’s frosty’s.

    • ChokeOnThisTea

      “Free unlimited Wendy’s frosty’s”

      Say no more. T-Mobile for the win!

      • Tee

        Girl, I got no self control. I’m at Wendy’s every Tuesday. I’m pretty sure they know me on a first name basis.

      • T Mobile is winning until you have to make a phone call from inside a building.

        • Tee

          Or anywhere in Maryland. My service sucks……

        • PDL – Cape Girl Shero

          FR. I’m on wifi right now

    • Kim

      AT&T has the same offer as well. We went to see Secret Life of Pets it was hilarious.

      • Tee

        Nice! Cute avi btw :-)

        • Kim

          : ) Thank you

        • Val

          I agree. :-)

      • StillSuga

        What’s this about AT&T? Is it through the website?

  • Lawd….I’ve literally been checkin VSB ALL Day – yeah I havent gotten anything done at work, because of this!

    FINALLY THANK YOU, Sweet Baby Jesus!!!! Some foollishness

  • Brandon Allen

    Isn’t Charlotte the new Atlanta minus struggle rap and strippers?

    • DBoySlim

      Charlotte is still a little to country to be Atlanta. It’s the A’s little brother.

      • That’s why I like Charlotte better.

      • Brandon Allen

        That’s the point tho. Charlotte is was Atlanta was. I mean is Atlanta still cheap…or is living in Clayton County and saying you live in Atlanta the move now?

        • brothaskeeper

          That’s been the move. Young flossers would move to Riverdale or Jonesboro and tell their people they live in Midtown.

          • Brandon Allen

            Well I mean is it a necessity now cuz of rising cost?

        • DBoySlim

          ClayCo is never the move.

          • DatNuggaMurph!

            As a current 13 year resident of ClayCo I’d have to agree. I’ve lived in worse but there are better places to live in metro Atlanta.

    • Then it ain’t the ‘new’ nothing… It’s just Charlotte…

      • Brandon Allen

        I mean for people trying to live cheap in a “city”. Of course its not gonna have the Atlanta aesthetic.

        • Julian Green

          IDK. Charlotte never felt like an actual “city” to me. More like this weird agglomeration of humanity that just sort of sits across the border from Rock Hill.

          • Brandon Allen

            That’s why its in quotes for me. I don’t think it’s a city either. Most southern cities are too spread out.

    • panamajackson

      I remember when Charlotte was making the hard push to be the next ATL. It was a valiant effort. CIAA rocks doe.

      • Brandon Allen

        I mean Charlotte is probably a better place to be 40 in than Atlanta.

      • brothaskeeper

        Day parties during CIAA are, as the kids say, lit. And if the place you work has a predominantly Black staff, eff both productivity and attendance. At one day party I saw *redacted*.

    • TJ

      Agreed. NC, in spite of it’s homophobic laws, is where it’s at right now. It’s on my radar for my 30s.

    • Mortal Man

      My mom lives in Charlotte. LOVE LOVE LOVE the city. It’s on me and my wife’s short list of where we will ultimately settle.

      hhharris.wordpress.com

      • Val

        Do they have real public transportation in Charlotte?

        • Mortal Man

          They are expanding by developing a light rail system that gets people from all over to Uptown quickly. But Charlotte is a Southern city, which means you need a car.

          Traffic is manageable.

          • brothaskeeper

            By manageable, do you mean labyrinthine? And CATS rail is a monorail in every sense of the word. It goes from Tryon to Uptown, and that’s it. But yeah, you DEFINITELY need a car.

            • Mortal Man

              My basis for “manageable” is Atlanta/NYC/ Bay Area traffic. Compared to those areas, Charlotte is easy.

        • They have a small train system which lead to me and Moneypenny witnessing one of the most hilarious arguments between two homeless/mentally ill people ever.

    • brothaskeeper

      I lived in Charlotte for five years. Shoe models are ubiquitous (a friend told me).

  • Courtney Wheeler

    I’m also thankful that this song/video of rappers watching this video exist.
    https://youtu.be/-KMBELyZ_sM

  • You forgot White girls with booties. So nice that’s a thing now.

    • TJ

      I’m gonna wait for the replies on this one. Lol.

      • Mortal Man

        Same here. My married behind is gonna sit back and eat popcorn and watch the comments come in.

        hhharris.wordpress.com

        • TJ

          I’m sitting with my Cici Houston face on.

          • Mortal Man

            We need a .gif of this.

            • TJ

              I got to find the gif for this.

              • Mortal Man

                This pic is saying more than a thousand words to me now. I feel a sudden urge to find what is trifling in my life and correct it.

    • brothaskeeper
      • Annalise Keating

        LMAO!!

      • Mochasister

        You chose this gif well. Why he said that on a board full of Black women…

    • Heck, all ethnicities with booty. They really Make America Great Again!

      • Booties and yoga pants for the win.

    • Illumina

      You KNOW what you just did, LOL.

    • -h.h.h.-

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