Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Featured, Music, Pop Culture

A Dude’s Take on Amber Rose, Wiz Khalifa, Kanye West, Slut Shaming, and Messy Breakups

Niggas have been trippin’ a lot lately, bringing all the Louis Vuitton luggage with them. Let’s unpack, shall we?

Yes, let’s.

Amber Rose is having both the best and worst last few weeks ever. Now she seems built for all of this so “worst” is more of a “nuisance” than it implies she’s holed up somewhere crying over the shenanigans of former famous exes Kanye West and Wiz Khalifa. Unless you’ve been under a rock, you already know the Amber Rose vs Khloe Kardashian dustup that resulted in Kanye West stating that he had to take like 30 showers before Kim would go out with him, which was an irony not lost on anybody considering that his now wife is kind of a famous jumpoff. I’m not even trying to be mean, that’s purely #factsonly. After dating Kanye, she dated and then married and then filed for divorce (is it finalized?) Wiz Khalifa and that has been a wee bit more messy, culminating with the recent release of the Juicy J featuring Wiz Khalifa song “For Everybody” in which Wiz takes aim at his estranged wife. That might be a little bit too clean of a wrapup on where we are today with this triumvirate, but hey, word counts matter.

I’ve seen lots of arguments, especially after Kanye’s comments that go at this idea of “how could you talk like that about a woman you used to love?” This is pure biship. EVERYBODY talks about their exes. Just because you aren’t doing it publicy doesn’t mean you aren’t dragging their names through the mud privately. While I understand the sentiment, you lose ALL moral highground when you talk about your ex privately and then publicly subtweet or subIG or subFB or however niggas sub these days. Just because you don’t say their name doesn’t mean people don’t know who you’re talking about. Wiz never said Amber’s name in his verse. Does that make it okay since its how most niggas operate? He’s a rapper. You gon’ get rapped about. Big Sean dropped “IDFWU”, one of the most petty songs in the history of pettidom – I think its brilliant, by the by – and never said his ex’s name? Does that make it okay? Exes slander exes. It’s what folks do. If shit was going well it wouldn’t have ended.

Now, many of us ATTEMPT to not be AS disparaging as we can be when talking about our exes under the cover of respecting the relationship. But shit, we don’t know what happened between Wiz and Amber short of the story we got that he got caught smashing twins or his (alleged) rampant infidelity. They might truly hate each other and the behind-the-scenes back and forth is getting to him. You’ve seen Wiz’s jeans, that man is an emotional wreck. No man whose jeans are that tight isn’t going to emote. It’s impossible. Wiz just so happens to have a much bigger platform, so technically he can’t “sub” without everybody knowing who he’s talking to. Is that his fault? No. The game is cold. My overall point here is that while I think Wiz need not write verses about Amber it’s not out of respect for his likely messy breakup…

…it’s because there are kids involved. Kanye needs to shut the fuck up talking about Amber Rose unless he only has nice things to say or at least non-negative things to say. Amber answered a question, perhaps kept it too real for some and then Kanye, when asked, decided to take aim by doing a bit of slut shaming (we’ll get to slut-shaming in a minute)…again, the irony and convenient amnesia. But Kanye has no truck here. He dated her. It didn’t work out. You got out without any permanent responsibility to her and then married the woman you had posters of up on your wall. Congratulations Kanye, in the world you live in, you won. Shut the fuck up.

Wiz on the other hand is a whole different story. Look, every last person alive who was dating somebody and it went terrible and you break up should be thanking their lucky stars that they had no kids. Stop being mad. You got out free. Maybe you lost a windshield. Maybe you got you got your heart broken. And maybe that was your fault. Sucks for you. But ultimately, you can move on and never deal with this person ever again if you so choose. This is a win.

However, the second that busted nut lands on the moon, the entire game changes. Kids require people who may actively hate one another to deal with each other for AT LEAST 18 years. And that’s assuming both are responsible adults who want the best for their children. That shit isn’t easy, b. People are petty. And when you’re forced to engage with somebody you can’t stand for personal reasons (regardless of whose fault it is) because of a child that you share, things can get dicey. Everybody thinks they’re above using their kids against another person. And many folks are able to be adults. But there are a SIGNIFICANT number of people – both men and women – who use their kids as pawns and collateral damage. I have no idea if that’s happening here between Wiz and Amber, but considering how they broke up and his subsequent birthday pic and statement and now this song, it’s not ENTIRELY out of the realm of possiblity that they really do not fuck with one another at all. And the kid is ending up in the middle. And when kids end up in the middle of grown up beef, shots get fired. Publicly and privately. Pain is real. Pain because of your children? That’s the pain that makes you act out.

To quote Chris Rock: “I ain’t saying he should have did it, but I understand.” It’s just stupid because nowadays these songs live forever online. One day, their son will hear how his father felt about his mother. At that point, who knows how his son will feel about his father then. How the fuck is he going to explain THAT to his son?

And even in that understanding comes the “why bro????” devaluing of this woman you dated and married into her stripperdom and basically saying she’s a ho who is just out for your money. You married a woman you loved who at one point happened to be a stripper. Same with Kanye. What is the point of trying to make her seem like a woman who was beneath you and not worthy of the slot you so apparently so graciuosly offered to her when you dated (and in Wiz’s case married) her with intentionality? The stripper thing is an easy target. Turning strippers into money grubbing whores is also low hanging fruit. But that shit is getting old. While I don’t think “you used to love her” is a good enough reason to not talk shit about somebody – circumstances are what they are, and peoples gon’ people – reducing her to a tired trope because your feelings are hurt, or worse, just because you can and folks won’t hold you accountable to it seems bitchmade. Ultimately, Kanye and Wiz look like bitches. Amber has seemingly taken the high ground with both of them and they look like petty bitchmade niggas now who are taking shots unnecessarily at a woman who seems willing to live her life while men and women far and wide stare in amazement at her body. She’s winning even when she’s “losing” as Kanye (who probably won’t do much more reckless talking about her when prompted) and Wiz take shots.

Every last one of us who has seriously dated anybody probably has TONS of ammo we could use against anybody. You date people, you get to see the inside of the closet. If you’re together long enough, you get the vulnerability and the super annoying shit. You get all of the mess and if both parties play fair, maybe you end up married despite it. Considering who they all are, Wiz, Kanye, and Amber probably have MORE than enough ammo to fill a few books. But the attempted slut shaming here just seems out of bounds. And mostly, ridiculous considering who is doing the shaming. It’s hustling backwards.

It’s how Kanye West and Wiz Khalifa continue to win at life but in this instance, both lose.

Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly (and gorgeous) for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. He refuses to eat cocaine chicken. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future. You can hit him on his hitter at panamadjackson@gmail.com.

  • miss t-lee

    “Look, every last person alive who was dating somebody and it went terrible and you break up should be thanking their lucky stars that they had no kids. Stop being mad. You got out free. Maybe you lost a windshield. Maybe you got you got your heart broken. And maybe that was your fault. Sucks for you. But ultimately, you can move on and never deal with this person ever again if you so choose. This is a win.”

    You spoke a word right there.
    Whew!
    *crisp $20 in the collection plate*

    • Ms. Bridget

      Yassss! His grace and mercy brought me though… *adds a $20*

      • miss t-lee

        Yessir!!!!!

    • Pinks

      *steals the $20 but still testifying*

      • miss t-lee

        Security!!!

  • MzzPeaches

    “…reducing her to a tired trope because your feelings are hurt, or worse, just because you can and folks won’t hold you accountable to it seems bitchmade.”

    Hello somebody! They don’t make em’ like they used to, cause these new school ninjas stay with their panties in a bunch! When me & the ex broke up he turned it into the whole “now I see why you’re a single black woman whose multiple degrees won’t keep you warm at night because you’re being unreasonable w/ wanting the perfect black man.”

    I did my roast session over a weekend with my girls and a couple of bottles, almost a year later and this fool is still broadcasting “his side” to anyone who’ll listen.

  • RewindingtonMaximus

    Yea…..not happening P. Sorry.

    Look at what normal people do when it comes to bad break ups and bad blood between exes. Look at what they post online, say to friends and family, do to each other mentally, physically, & financially, and also whatever fucked up stuff they can think of to do that ends up with them being on the news, and having that news article posted on someone’s FB page. No amout of “get your s**T together” morality talk helps curb that nonsense.

    So when you speaking on celebrities, I don’t even know why you should waste your breathe. Because they do what normal people do, but turnt up, worse off, in public, and on top of that….THESE FUCKERS GET PAID FOR IT.

    Say what you will, Kanye got money for those comments. Wiz getting money for that song. Big Sean made one of the most disrespectful songs I ever heard of, and for God I hope that ninja goes diamond for that record cause its awesome. But realistically, the only reason this was even brought up is because its negative. If Kanye said Amber was the greatest thing that ever happened to his life, and he’s sorry he let her go….*crickets* NOTHING AT ALL. If Wiz said he couldn’t have asked for a better wife and mother of his child….no applause. Nope. Why?

    CAUSE WE IN LOVE WITH DA COCO!

    • h.h.h.
    • panamajackson

      I mean I agree. It was mentioned b/c it was negative. But also, for me, b/c it seems remarkably petty and unnecessary for a guy who shares a kid with this woman. It’s the same argument folks made when Mimi made the sex tape with Nicco. Think of the kids.

      Except in this case, the father is going ham at the mother for perpetuity. How that profits him in the future is beyond me. Or at least it seems that the potential loss is greater then the near term gain.

      He needs better friends and family.

      • RewindingtonMaximus

        Honestly in Wiz’s case, going HAM is the only way to have things go in his direction. Amber is pretty to look at. She wins by default. So now he’s chipping at her armor, because words alone will not change people’s perception of her. People quick to call her a thot, but they’d all sleep with her in a heartbeat. Wiz….they smash for fame and cash, not because of lust. But if you take pics of her having dog poop all over her house, makes her not look so reliable, because everybody assumes pretty people are reliable. If you let her say stupid s**t online all day, she does your work for you.

        Is his route super petty? Yup. But the general public is feeding into it, making it all the more necessary. And like I said…they both still getting paid to act this way.

  • I don’t hate any of these people mentioned above, I don’t hate Amber Rose, Kanye or Wiz, but I think I’m confident enough to say that they love fame more than they love their children. I mean yes, they love their kids, they’ll say it and they could probably all talk greatly about how being a parent has changed them, but these are all abstractions: there is nothing concrete about their declarations.

    A great example of this is Karrine Steffans aka Superhead. Everybody talks about the juicy stuff, and the groupie lifestyle, no one talks about the fact that for a good part of her books, she is openly confessing to the fact that she is a terrible mother, who abandons her kid in all the time due to her lifestyle, which even after writing the book rarely ever changes. Not to mention there’s a video on youtube of her giggling with her kid while pointing out that Bobby Brown is knocked out laying on her couch. But hey, whatever, I hope she’s prepped him for the day one of his friend is watching a pr0n video on his mobile phone and asks him, “Hey, don’t that look like your mom?”

    One of the tricks that American popular culture has taught people is that you can love a person, specifically a child as an abstraction and it’s good enough, you don’t have to back it up with actions. You don’t have to slow your life down and act like an adult once you have a kid; you don’t have to act as a role model to your child; you don’t have to make better decisions etc. As long as you say you love your child, and constantly ensure that no matter what happens in life that you say it, and then most importantly you boost their self-esteem and self-worth (regardless of how many times they fail) that you’re doing your job. Oh well, children can always get payback by leaving you in a group home, and most Americans will gladly do so.

    What Kanye, Wiz and Amber Rose are doing, are a symptom of an entire culture that doesn’t see or comprehend long term consequences. It’s the same culture that produces parents who divorce in court, tear each other to shreds, and then expects the kids to adjust without long term consequences that aren’t defined in the DSM. In the end, what does it matter, these people are famous, and they gain wealth and power from being talked about…so why would they actually shut up, or stop doing what they were doing, unless they actually had all the rationality and insight it would take to actually shut up and chill out for a change.

    • panamajackson

      Fair point. Kanye, while I think he needs to shut up, I mean he’s being Kanye, but again, there are no ties there. They can trade barbs and nothing is at stake for either outside of the immediate dissatisfaction of their partners.

      But Wiz…that’s just reckless. This can’t possibly help their custody situation.

      • I think it’s just a form of bridge burning.

        When you insult or diss someone online, you can’t really escape or apologize for it later, due to the fact that thousands if not millions saw it; whereas if you do it in private, you can always come back and say you’re wrong. Public hypocrisy is far less forgivable than Private hypocrisy.

        However, when you have kids, if you love them, you don’t burn the bridge of someone who is going to be a part of your life for 18 years, not because of the justice system (institutions are never strong enough to prevent bad behavior, only strong enough to punish it), but because you know that it’s damaging to the kid.

        It is reckless, but nowadays, what he’s doing is normal.

        • ??Jessica??

          “When you insult or diss someone online, you can’t really escape or apologize for it later, due to the fact that thousands if not millions saw it”
          Did you see the Chris Brown/ Karruche shit show awhile back??? apparently stars can do anything!

      • nillalatte

        “This can’t possibly help their custody situation.”

        People that ain’t been there have no clue.

    • uNk

      So many great points in this bruh!!

      “It’s the same culture that produces parents who divorce in court, tear each other to shreds, and then expects the kids to adjust without long term consequences”
      Is it bad that im holding on to this childhood aspiration to be married only once to the person i will in the future love? Statistics, and what I see from my generations popular culture would have me think to just throw that away and expect about 2 divorces coming my way. I know I am my own man, but dawg that divorce fear is real.

      • HeyBooHey

        I don’t see it as bad, I’m holding onto the same aspiration honestly and not out of fear for divorce. Just wanting something that works and can actually endure. Pop culture will have you believe it’s not possible or can’t happen but I’ve seen enough real life examples (not in my fam though smh) to think it can be a reality

        • uNk

          I feel it, I dont have any in my fam either, its like dam cant nobody stay together that i know?

          • HeyBooHey

            Nothing but a word here smh. Either they can’t stay together or they’re just miserable together. Which is probably why I’m so for finding that right person. All the mistakes & foolishness I’ve seen in my fam?!?! I’m tryna go the completely opposite direction lol

            • uNk

              Right!! Trying to claim that “1st generation successful marriage” status lol

              • HeyBooHey

                BINGO!!! A trophy and the whole nine lol

                • uNk

                  *hits heisman*

                  • HeyBooHey

                    *poses for the HOF ceremony*

            • Wild Cougar

              Hate to break it to ya, you cant prevent divorce by finding the “right person”

              • HeyBooHey

                Very true. But finding the “right person” for you who shares your values and desire to make it work has to be a start.

                • Epsilonicus

                  Exactly

      • I was talking to one of my uncles once whose been married for like 30+ years now, and I asked him how he did it? His response was that no one in a successful long-term marriage would ever give out such advice. I asked him why, and he said “It’s because anyone who asks that question, isn’t ready to be married, so what’s the point of telling them something that will go in one ear, and come right out of the other?”

        Marriage is one of those things that you just make work with someone. If you do a good job, the public (i.e. friends and family) doesn’t see the result of all the fights, insults, pettiness etc. If you do a bad job, then yeah everybody see it and wants to provide their 2 cents in to help. Eventually, if you’re dumb enough to allow two many two centers in the boat that’s your marriage, overcapacity occurs and the ship sinks to the bottom of the ocean.

        • uNk

          Makes sense. Most people will be quick to throw away a relationship or marriage out of fear that if any negative incident that occurred comes to light, it will be widespread frowned upon by the public. They let other people define what they should or shouldnt do or how they should feel about the situation and #PoofRelationshipBeGone

        • Wild Cougar

          I got one better for you. How do you make a marriage last? Don’t get divorced. Period. Because everything else is negotiable. EVERYTHING. Every horror you never wanted and ones that never occurred to you. You gonna deal. Then, after you’ve dealt, and done your best, it still might not last because……….

          Guess what……..

          You don’t control your spouse. They can bounce whenever the fcuk they feel like.

          *drops mic*

      • I am of the same mindset, and I don’t think that there is anything wrong with thinking this way. Despite what the divorce rates and what popular culture says, I think that most people in our generation (I’m assuming you’re in your 20’s)want to find a special person to share a life with. I know people who have been married for what I consider a long time and their marriages aren’t “happily ever after” but they make it work and I appreciate seeing that.

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          Making marriage work is based on making yourself work. Most people are not anywhere close to the maturity status that is required to make great decisions. And when you aren’t at your best, and you are holding down someone else in the process, you tend to worry if you are bringing that person down. That in a nutshell is why many people have failed relationships and marriages, because they can’t accept that time changes people, and those changes will expose the best and worst sides of yourself, and your partner.

          • HeyBooHey

            This testimony here….. *strikes up the organ*

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              Gonna make me pull out those hymns now

          • Wild Cougar

            You in fantasy land with that

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              Am I really though? Most long term relationships require accepting you can’t do s***t today the same way you did it 10 years ago. So you gotta learn to change your perspectives. I am not even here pretending that people know better, but I presume they find out for themselves in the long run.

        • ED

          It’s actually not as bad as it’s made out to be. While fewer people are getting married, those marriages are having more success. The divorce rate actually plateaued in the 70s and 80s and has been declining slowly and steadily since.

      • Jiovan

        I clearly don’t have any of these concerns with my playstation lol

        • uNk

          You out here living the good life then bruh haha

      • cancergirl08

        I love to hear men talk about their desire to only be married once! (yes life happens, but still…..)I’ve heard quite a few black men say something similar, along the lines of “I’m only getting married once. I ain’t built for divorce.” I think men who say that love hard. Nothing wrong with that, you just gotta pick the best person to give that love to. Preferably someone that honors commitment as much as you do, or more if possible.

      • h.h.h.

        you ain’t the only one.

        i hope for the same thing. but it’s not like when my parents got married.

        times change, for better and for worse.

      • mochazina

        take it from a marriage lifer – the fear is real even after you’ve been in it for 14yrs because people are people and people do dumb stuff. but he and i are also determined, so sometimes we sit down and have those hard convos and make it to another day. lifetime marriages do exist in the “younger” generation, despite what culture says.

    • miss t-lee

      “One of the tricks that American popular culture has taught people is that you can love a person, specifically a child as an abstraction and it’s good enough, you don’t have to back it up with actions. You don’t have to slow your life down and act like an adult once you have a kid; you don’t have to act as a role model to your child; you don’t have to make better decisions etc. As long as you say you love your child, and constantly ensure that no matter what happens in life that you say it, and then most importantly you boost their self-esteem and self-worth (regardless of how many times they fail) that you’re doing your job”

      All of the applause.

  • vanitaapplebum

    *standing ovation*

  • TheOtherJerome

    Plus 10000!

    Slut shaming is the lamest thing that people do. Also i hope he’s already picked out a nice therapist for his kid. Why so many people fail to understand the negative and permanent implications of destroying each other on front of their children is beyond me. But when your child engages in anti social behavior or can’t develop positive relationships or needs therapy, than you’ll know. And it’ll be too late for an easy fix. Apologizing to them once they become adults won’t cut it.

    • ED

      Many of those parents will forever deny their role in messing up their kids.

      • TheOtherJerome

        I’m no expert. but from what i’ve seen lots of parents admit their mistakes when the kids become adults.

        • ED

          and I know some who still don’t

  • uNk

    One of the most difficult aspects in these situations is sitting idle watching your ex slander your name through the mud after a break up, or being the non hostile person in the midst of a horrible break up.

    • miss t-lee

      Non hostile?
      You are a saint.

      • uNk

        Edit: reasonable hostile lol

        • miss t-lee

          LMAO.
          Ok.

    • Bruh…

      • uNk

        I was speaking in general #doe

  • TheOtherJerome

    Free me. Apparently you can’t use the term s*** when discussing S*** shaming

  • Cleojonz

    “reducing her to a tired trope because your feelings are hurt, or worse,
    just because you can and folks won’t hold you accountable to it seems
    bitchmade.”

    These are two men that are not used to being told no ever I would imagine, due to their status. It’s like how dare she, she’s nothing but a former stripper. Even if Wiz cheated he assumed she would never leave her him for it. And you KNOW Kanye never thought she’d leave even though he admitted he treated her like an a**hole. So yeah shots fired because self-esteem is bruised.

    People need to learn there is never any reason for you to slander your ex to your kid like that. If they truly are that despicable a person your child WILL see it all on their own and you look like the better person because no matter how terrible that person is you never tried to sully their name. Until then it just looks like you are being petty and trying to get in the way of that person’s continued relationship with the child.

    • Val

      Plus, Kanye didn’t really do anything but shine the light on his wife’s past with his clueless comments about Amber.

      • jess-s

        right, i was confused about who he was talking about.. Amber or Kim

      • Cleojonz

        So true! And most recently had magazine cover with her a** out so it’s like really? Really Kanye?

        • She dropped like 15 nekkid photos in the past 2 months.

          • Cleojonz

            Not that I have a problem with nudity at all, just don’t be so hypocritical. For the most part (I’m not talking about those ones that go the extra route in the champagne room) all strippers do is take off their clothes.

            • Just that Kim’s were ~artsy~ and Amber’s weren’t.

              • Cleojonz

                I don’t know what was artsy about Kim’s cover. She looked like a greasy mess. One of the sexiest photos I have seen of Amber she was fully clothed and I don’t mean in like a bikini or something like a long sleeved top and sweats.

      • KKay

        The world collectively said “Nicca, what?!” as soon as Kanye’s lips stopped moving.

        • Val

          Lol. Right!

  • I just never been that guy who abhorred his exes, I’m a pragmatist, relationships end in a marriage or a breakup. Its a coin flip. In the case of Amber, who was publicly loved and claimed, to cast aspersions on her now its like, you need more people. Its the same tired insults, every woman is a that every dude is broke, they wasn’t nothing before you, blah blah blah

    • Question

      This. Knock on something but I’ve never had an I-hate-your-guts-and-wish-you-would-die breakup so I can’t understand why people keep spending time talking about people they claim not to care about anymore. Move on. But Kanye is supposed to be the one with all the success – why are you going on radio stations running your mouth like someone with no life? Just be quiet.

      And now you’re gonna talk about the number of showers you had to take to “wash her off” but you (Kanye) also made one of greatest works (…twisted fantasy…) which was basically an audio journal to what failed in that relationship and how you regret some of your own actions??

      Dude (Kanye), shut up. Just shut up.

    • MsSula

      This. For the most part, I am still friendly with my exes. We don’t call each other up everyday or something but if we happen to see each other, we have a very good and nice conversation. One I have even hooked up with a friend of mine (they were way better suited than we were). In my opinion, it ain’t that serious, ever.

      I am appreciating Amber’s response in this. Apparently the “skripper” is classier than these dimwits (and I am a Kanye fan).

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