A Dream Deferred Is Cool And All But…

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There are all kinds of dreams deferred in this picture.

There are all kinds of dreams deferred in this picture.

Let’s just go ahead and set the ninjanet on fire. I think Langston Hughes’ poem “A Dream Deferred” is a terrible poem. Like seriously. I’ve read this joint out loud to myself numerous times. I did an interpretive dance to it once. I read it with a British accent while wearing some leopard print boxer briefs that said “Mufasa”  on the front.

Nada. It didn’t get any better.

In fact, during inauguration weekend, while hanging out with Liz and a gang of her friends, I not only said the poem was terrible, I said that 2 CHAAAAAAINNNNNNZ “Birthday Song” was a better “poem” than “A Dream Deferred.”

Here’s the actual poem by the way:

What happens to a dream deferred?Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore–
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over–
like a syrupy sweet?Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.Or does it explode?Officially, that was a step too far. You remember the scene at the end of Barbershop where folks start talking about Dr. Martin Luther Tha King and the old guys get mad? Yeah….say something bad about something that some educated ninja did 70+ years ago and you’re liable to start a race riot.

Ignorance aside – though I’m not joking – while I think the poem itself is seriously wacksauce, the concept of “a dream deferred” is beyond amazing. For the vast many of us, we are the sum totals of many dreams deferred. Michael Jordan kept that in perspective for me during his birthday weekend which I’m just now realizing isn’t a national holiday despite the insane media coverage of him turning the big 5-0. MJ? Very few of his dreams seem deferred. He is a person who managed to make the absolute most of his dreams and then realize them. Many of us are limited by various factors that perhaps cause us to think that our dreams are out of reach.

Or perhaps some of us came up in circumstances that maybe didn’t prohibit our dreams but placed John Coffey sized obstacles in our way at every twist and turn. The point is, I have spent a lot of time just thinking about the words “a dream deferred” and how abstract but poignant they are. So while the poem may be non-sense (to me), I do believe that the very idea is one of the deepest ideals that many of us can internalize. Kind of like how the idea of “The Sum of All Fears” was a much better title than the movie.

So here are a few other things that I think are better in concept and theory than they are in actuality:

Oprah – her heyday is longgone. But somehow, sitting on Oprah’s couch still somehow counts for something even though it really doesn’t.

HBCU’s outside of the ones folks actually respect – Young, sad and blue. But it’s true. The idea of HBCUs is probably centered around the Morehouse/Spelman/Howards of the lot, yet the vast majority aren’t quit…cutting the mustard.

Range Rovers – Every since Jay ethered the now defunct 4.0, the Range has been a hip-hop staple. Yet, just get you a Tahoe and save some dough.

Washington, DC – it’s like a Black resthaven until you realize its small as hell and you will have done everything possible within a year of living here. It seems like what you envision within the lights of Manhattan for ninjas. Then you realize we’ve got a big wang in the middle of our city. And it’s white. Just a confusing city. Viva DC. It’s my hometown now. So I can say this. I pay property taxes.

Kat Williams (conversely, Steve Harvey is worse in theory than he actually is) – Katt isn’t funny. Yet somehow he became, ya know, before he lost his everloving mind, some sort of Black comedian bar. And he sucks. But the idea of him was a fun one. Real ni**a talkin.

“You Don’t Live On My Street” (though I have to admit my bias here because well, I have heard this poem so many times from Spelman women who clearly didn’t live on any street mentioned in the poem. Tweedledee) – see “A Dream Deferred”

Love Jones (though we can argue that what this is and what it represents are one and the same) – just saying but the legacy of Love Jones has completely trumped the actual movie.

Stringer Bell – Idris, while he may look like he does, is nowhere near as cool as the reason we know his name. Stringer, the coolest and closest to some ideal many Black men would love to live was one of the most evil and f*cked up characters on the show.

Well, that’s enough from me for now. What else is better in theory or concept than in actuality? And by the way, please direct all hate mail about my “A Dream Deferred” comment to this email address.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka DON’T DEFER MY DREAMS BRO aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

565 thoughts on “A Dream Deferred Is Cool And All But…”

    • Marriage is better in theory. People call it a challenge or hard, but nobody is telling the truth. People hear horror stories and figure they must have married the”wrong” person. People won’t let that Disney fantasy die. The truth is you will fall out of love. It’s gonna happen. You cannot maintain that feeling. It’s biologically impossible. When you fall out of love, you have a roommate that bores and annoys you. If it’s a good marriage. The chores of keeping house and raising children are a total pain in the azz. Sex becomes boring. That’s if you do it at all. It’s gonna turn into a job.

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      • “You cannot maintain that feeling. It’s biologically impossible. When you fall out of love, you have a roommate that bores and annoys you. If it’s a good marriage. The chores of keeping house and raising children are a total pain in the azz. Sex becomes boring. That’s if you do it at all. It’s gonna turn into a job.”

        I often say that marriage is supposed to be boring. Now if folks realized this, from jump, fewer would feel disappointed.

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      • WC, everything you said is true from an analytical perspective. It is the emotional compontent that is key to a marriage surviving. It’s true that you can fall out of love, but you can also fall in love again. A marriage is doomed when both parties fall out of love at the same time.

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      • I dunno. Are we speaking with the assumption that there is a difference between loving someone and being in love?

        Because, yes, you fall out of love. That’s inevitable. But you can love that other person for the rest of your life, and that’s what makes a marriage work, even if it’s not the Disney ideal.

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  4. That last one is cracking me up! A few years ago I coined “The Stringer Bell Principle”, which describes a very rare instance when someone is so physically perfect/their game is so strong that it completely cancels out their awful-ness as a human being. This was so named because, to the best of my knowledge, no one has ever managed to accomplish this other than Stringer Bell. Remember when Donette was weeping over him in the last episode? Remember when she was weeping over D’Angelo? Oh…wait. This, my children, is The Stringer Bell Principle.

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  5. Spike Lee’s film career is better in theory than actuality. Spike Lee’s filmography is full of more “Bamboozled” type movies than “Do the Right Thing” type movies as far as actually executing an idea.

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  7. Road head.

    Who likes to cloud such euphoria with concentration? You end up havin to spend more energy focusing on stayin alive than u do on the fun. Hard to get my Wesley Pipes dialogue goin when I have to look out for oncoming traffic and slow down for turns.

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  8. Being Honest 100% of the time – Nobody likes being lied to. Yet nobody likes to be told that yes, those pants do make you look fat…or no, you didn’t give her that Big O last night. She faked it, bruh. She’s going for the Oscar this year…

    Reparations For Slavery – This wouldn’t be a big an issue if this were taken care of right after the Civil War, like it was supposed to. But the difficulty of mapping actual descendants of slaves, the cost of implementing this act and the effect it will have on the economy, etc, means that RFS may not be the best move right now.

    Blow-Up Dolls – Committing sexual acts on a human-sized, lifeless doll just scream Necrophilia to me. I know she’s not real, but still…

    The Dream wearing whatever the f*ck he was wearing at the Grammys – Google it.

    The first 3 rows at the movie theatre – Seriously. Why are those there? Those seats are atrocious.

    Free Clinics giving out free condoms – Sounds dope, right? One word: Lifestyles.

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    • “The Dream wearing whatever the f*ck he was wearing at the Grammys”

      Don’t have to Google it. Saw it ‘live.’ Leave that man’s swap meet hat alone! LOL

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    • Reparations wouldn’t be difficult. It’s fairly easy to trace one’s ancestry back to an enslaved relative. And if you can do that then you would qualify.

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      • Wouldn’t certain white descendants of slaves be entitled to said reparations as well? How black does one need to be to get their 40 acres? Questions that keep me up at night :-(

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          • I have a White friend who can trace her lineage back to a particular slave. One of her great great grands was light enough to pass and had children with her white great great grandpa and that trend continued. Granted, it’s a stretch but we know how people can get when money is involved.

            Does the one drop rule not apply?

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            • I’ve read some of the stories and it’s heartbreaking. Brown kids were born to almost white parents and the parents sent them away or had the nanny pretend like the kid was theirs. Talk about having a complex.

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          • “What White people are descendants of enslaved African Americans?”

            There’s a Thomas Jefferson joke to be made here, but I can’t quite put it together properly.

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      • But then there’s that little issue of how much of all of it will cost. Because not only are, probably, all the traditionally Black (i.e African-Americans that show strong African features like kinky hair, tanned skin, etc) getting paid/compensated, but as AfroPetite mentioned, all those who are of mixed breed and even those who don’t look Black at all could be getting paid. After all, technically speaking, all it takes is to have one slave ancestor (including those made into such via rape) to qualify for reparations under the notion of compensating the “descendants of Black slaves”.

        As it stands now, in this economy, this country can’t afford to be giving away that kind of money at the moment. And giving away land will be even trickier.

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        • My fam actually has land in Alabama that was “inherited(divided among the white and half white children)” by the great^3-4 grand parent. Thats all the reparations that I have seen and its definitely a couple acres short of 40 with no mule.

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        • “But then there’s that little issue of how much of all of it will cost. ”

          Various estimates have been given if such payments were to be made. Harper’s Magazine has created an estimate that the total of reparations due is over 100 trillion dollars, based on 222,505,049 hours of forced labor between 1619 and 1865, with a compounded interest of 6%.[8] Should all or part of this amount be paid to the descendants of slaves in the United States, the current U.S. government would only pay a fraction of that cost, over 40 trillion dollars, since it has been in existence only since 1789. (www.nlpc.org/pdfs/Final_NLPC_Reparations.pdf)

          in comparison, the world GDP, as of 2011, was/is around 70 trillion dollars.

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      • The stature of limitations has passed on reparations. The issue that keeps getting overlooked is compensating all the Black landowners who had their land taken from because somebody could.

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    • The Dream seems like that lame kid in school wit a lil bit of talent…but his lameness still has the upper hand.

      Dude is worst that 5 Ray J’s and 2 Lil Wayne’s on the lame scale.

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    • ROTFLMAO on Free Clinic condoms. Be glad they sprung for Lifestyles. I’ve seen worse. Much worse. To the point where it would have been simple to just hit the broad raw and take your chances.

      In term of reparations, that always scares me. Since I’m half-West Indian, would I qualify? After all, the British Government paid for my dad’s ancestors cash on barrel and set them free. Also, would I get a full share? A half share? Would White people start checking for that one great-grandfather that everyone swore was passing? This would not end well.

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      • Repatations should be paid by the Africian countries that let my ancestors be taken in the first place. Even today they still sweep it under the mat. The majority of those nations are sovereign nations now and are able to demand it.

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        • No thank you.

          No reparations should be paid to ANY African country. I’d rather that money be used to feed the homeless in America, SERIOUSLY.

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    • Disagree with the reparations topic. How about instead of ‘reparations’ or giving money away, no black child that can demonstrate need has to pay for his education? So, if you can show that you have had at least one slave in both of your family lines and you’re poor, you get college, grad school, and/or private school for free. Problem solved and the amount paid out would be a fraction of the cost of Iraq and Afghanistan. It can be done, but no one wants to do it.

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      • I think you’re drastically underestimating the cost of paying for all that, for each underprivileged Black youth, and it’s effect on the economic infrastructure. Then there’s also, again, the issue of those who do not look Black (or aren’t considered such) but do have at least one slave ancestor from each side of the family. Do they not get their reparations because of the way they look/are preceived today? And if so, that costs even more.

        They’re gonna have to get this money from somewhere, so some of our government programs will be crippled or shut down entirely. You know that money’s NOT gonna come from military related funding, like Defense funding. America are #1 the world in Defense Spending. So much so, that we spend more on Defense than the next 26 countries behind us, 25 of whom, are our allies.

        So where is this money going to come from?

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        • I was thinking we could just start using all the seized DEA drug money, the CIAs various slush funds, most of the black ops related found cash, and ensure The Dutch, English, French, Spanish, Germans, and Italians pay their part. Also from the various “We took this money from the bad guys, and we’re gonna keep it” funds.

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  9. President Obama’s sudden inclination to start addressing black related issues [Chicago murder rates, black fathers]. It’s politics not humanity. Not to say he doesn’t care, but the timing is just off. He is all about legacy creation at this point.

    My pippoz love one another.

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    • Yeah, that tired, ‘you Black people are triflin’ speech is way old. But when he gives it he’s not really speaking to us. He’s letting White people know that he’s not going to do a damn thing for us Black folk.

      Hiya, AM!

      *Waves*

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          • Speaking to black people is simply code for not talking about problems within our community in front of white people. Cosby and Obama are just fine in the way they deliver their talks.

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          • You missed my point. Presidents often stand in front of Black audiences but speak to Whites. For instance, when Mitt Romney spoke at the NAACP convention he was speaking to Whites.

            Obama does the same all the time. His message is that even though he’s a Black President, he’s not going to do anything special for Black people.

            So when he speaks in front of us, he doesn’t say what he’s going to do for us, like he does with other demographics, he tells us what we should be doing.

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            • Yeah presidient Obama is “our president”, but should we really expect specialized treatment just because he’s black? The man has to run a country. I mean it would be cool if he swung through the southside of Chicago and said, “HEY n!ggas! Stop shootin each other in the got damn face”, but alot of poeple aren’t listening anyway.

              Maybe he should delegate?
              And anybody PLEASE, except Rahm Emmanuel.

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    • Is that why Melissa Harris-Perry keeps talking about the Black family right now cuz of Obama talking about fatherhood and stuff again? Y’all ain’t forget he threw Black men under the bus some years ago right. I wrote a post about it here actually. I’m just too lazy to find it.

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            • I think that we as a people need to decide what the fcuk we want from Obama, lol. We want him to act like the president of Black people but when he speaks directly to Black people about Black issues, we get mad. Talking about “he’s not really talking to us.” Do ya’ll want Obama to hold some kind of secret Black meeting where no one else can hear what he’s saying?

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              • President Obama is certainly NOT the President of Black America, but the United States of America.

                It’s just that his SUDDEN interest, or rather his recent outspoken attitude towards black issues is quite startling and a little too late-perhaps.

                God bless my African broda.

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                • Hilarious. Obama spoke to a Black church on Father’s day in 2008 and people were up in arms about him speaking about the high percentage of absentee fathers in Black households. 2008! So there’s nothing “sudden” about his interest or any change in his attitude. If anything, him being in his 2nd term allows him the freedom to be more outspoken without alienating Black people (who think he’s talking down to them when he’s simply stating the facts) and alienating white people (who are wondering why the president is doing all of this “race talk.”).

                  I didn’t watch MHP this weekend, but I wish I had. What did she tweet?

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                  • Yes. This is what i am not understanding when people say he just started talking about violence and absentee fatherhood. No, dude was talking about it before he even got to the white house. People just weren’t paying attention. He talked about blacks and education in his address to the DNC back in 2004. He’s been on this for almost 10 years.

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                    • Nobody mentioned, pre presidency. I’m talking about during his tenure. He hasn’t been AS vocal, as some folks think he could have been. Personally, whenever a politician makes a move, I question their sincerity. Everything is STRATEGIC. oh well!

                    • The man was a Community Organizer long before he became a Senator, so IDK where everybody is getting this “Obama doesn’t care” nonsense from.

              • I’m with you on that. MHP was off base by having a whole portion of her Sunday to try and clarify what she menat by het tweet. Say what you will but the Crisis that is the Black Family has many aspects, two are the fact that Many Fathers AREN’T Being Active and Around, and I’m Sorry, but Most Familes with Problems- especially when it comes to Young Black Boys/Men- are ran by SIngle Mothers.

                Everybody has to take accountability of these negatives, not just place All blame on 1 Side or 1 Gender and Deflect the spotlight on the other things and other side

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                • Except Black men’s place in discussing homes with single mothers is talking about the Black men who abandoned the families rather than telling Black women how horrible and wretched they are for being single mothers.

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                • Yeah, we ask ALOT.

                  But do we honestly wanna DO alot?

                  How we ask for the hook-up on EVERYTHING, including the solutions to our own problems?

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                  • Right. As far as I’m concerned, there is VERY little the gov’t can do for us: a fair shake at jobs, education, and in the so-called justice system. Other than that, it is in our hands: repairing our families, putting the focus on education, entrepreneurship, supporting Black businesses, etc. None of this has anything to do with the federal government (historically maybe, but not today).

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                    • black men being responsible is not the end-all in the conversation around violence in our community. as it relates to the culture of gun violence most black men in our communities are responsible. most black men are not participating.

                    • You make it seem like it’
                      s All Men Leaving and Not Some Women Kicking Out or Leaving Themselves

                    • depends on what you are referring to as absent. are you talking about in the traditional hetero-normative sense? if so i hear. but i also know this is not the only way men remain involved with their children in our community.

                    • “You make it seem like it’s All Men Leaving and Not Some Women Kicking Out or Leaving Themselves”

                      How did you come up with that from my question??? o_O. My point is… the speech was to give men something to think about with regards to being the leaders of our family structure. And truth be told, men can stand to make better decisions when it comes to creating and being responsible for families. I appreciate the fact Obama started that conversation without playing the blame game. That is a great sign of leadership; and it is an excellent way to encourage men to be great leaders.

      • Really?

        Are you saying we don’t have a fatherless baby problem in the black community?

        I can name more personal friends of mine who hate their father or don’t know their father than ones who have a good relationship with them. That right there… is the issue.

        It’s not ‘throwing anyone under the bus’ when it’s a real and concrete issue that is glaringly obvious to all but the most blind.

        I hate forums like these because you get everyone on the Exalting the Black Male bandwagon… but when you actually ask them how they feel about THEIR dad… many will fess up he was a rolling azz stone who ain’t sh*t. There is a disconnect there.

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    • I agree. This just feels like good ‘ol political posturing and not sincere at all. Obama talking about the issue of gun violence in the black community without talking about its relationship to All-American Gun Culture is like The United States talking about the danger of terrorism and WMDs in today’s world without acknowledging our own reliance on nukes, and terrorism to become the worlds greatest example of military strength.

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      • Ding ding ding we have a winner. When Obama only tells one side of ANY story he gets the same side eye from me as any other politician. They love finding a bad guy or bogie man to blame and black American and Middle Eastern men are easy targets.

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      • Maybe. But we all live in and are surrounded by the All-American Gun Culture. Everybody is not killing themselves at the rate that we (or young Black men) are.

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  10. What happens to a dream deferred?

    I deferred dreams/aspirations when I got married. I deferred them again when I left the ex in order to raise my children. You never give up on your dreams when they get deferred. They are always there. Talking with my guy one night about what I would after my kids were grown when he suggested I would be lonely. Shyyyyyttt. Why lonely I asked? I have unrealized dreams/aspirations to achieve. Those that were deferred. But, everything comes in it’s due time.

    Side Note: my guy is really starting to freak me out a bit, talking about me being his girlfriend and coming to live with me. Yikes! What? Last time a man talked to me like this I ended up married! I think I will start polishing my running shoes! :D

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