Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Race & Politics, Theory & Essay, Uncategorized

A Conversation About Men, Male Behavior, Feminism, Fear, and Bacon (Yes. Bacon)

A couple weekends ago, I went out with a group of a dozen or so people to celebrate my homegirl’s birthday. And, as people in the greater Pittsburgh-area are wont to do after a night of drunken, WorldStarHipHop-worthy ratchetness, we went to Eat & Park afterwards to soak up our alcohol with pancakes and half-assed cheese eggs.

While most others usually opt for the menu food, I always choose to buy the breakfast buffet; a vast decrease in quality, but, when it’s 3:13am, quantity has a way of making you not give a f*ck.

There were so many of us there (I’m guessing 15) that the server put three tables together to accommodate all of us. And, since I was the only one who chose the buffet food, it meant…

A) I would be the only one eating food for the next 15 minutes.

B) I’d have to fight off a clawing pack of drunken and hungry zombies every time I returned to the table from the buffet.

The second part actually became a bit of a running joke. I’d go to the buffet, return with some bacon, and I’d have to smack the hands of my friends away as they tried to grab a slice. Sometimes I was successful in guarding my bacon, and sometimes the bacon zombies would get me. (I know this doesn’t sound like a very fun game to play, but we were all five exits past drunk, and the bacon game happened to be the funniest thing on Earth at the time. Only God can judge me.)

Anyway, although the table was filled with people who all were at the party I was just at, I didn’t know a couple of the people sitting at the other end of the table. I’m bringing this up because all the fun and games stopped when, while returning to the table after one of my bacon runs, one of these unfamiliar hands reached and attempted to grab the food on my plate.

When I made it back to my seat, I called this person out, asking what the f*ck was wrong with them (I think my exact words were “What the f*ck is wrong with you? I don’t know you, n*gga“), and basically put a slight damper on the mood.

(In hindsight, it was funny remembering the reactions of the people sitting around me, their expressions going from “Wait, Champ’s not serious, is he?” to “Um, yeah, he’s serious. This is getting uncomfortable. And entertaining. This is uncomfortably entertaining” and finally landing on “Wait, um, we’re not able to witness a couple dudes in suits fight over some bacon, are we?“)

I eventually forgave this person for their indiscretion. (We actually stood up and shook each other’s hands) The next day, as I was reflecting on the evening and remembering exactly how ridiculous that near fight was, it dawned on me that none of that would have happened if he was a woman.

You see, I was perfectly cool playing the bacon game with the people sitting close to me — all women that I knew. In fact, even if dude had been a woman I didn’t know, I wouldn’t have reacted the same way. I probably would have laughed, flirted, or perhaps even tried to steal some food off her plate when it finally came. But, because he was a guy doing something that guys aren’t supposed to do to other guys, it pissed me off enough to have the following absurd exchange with him

“Where are you from?” 

“Don’t worry about where I’m from. I’m from a place where n*ggas don’t take food off of n*ggas they don’t know plates.” 

(I apparently say n*gga a lot when I’m drunk and/or angry. Perhaps there’s another post in there somewhere)

If you’re still reading, you’re probably wondering what the hell a story about two drunk men having a pissing contest over some soggy bacon has to do with feminism, a concept defined as a collection of movements aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, and social rights for women.

Actually, that definition is a bit too bulky to work with. I prefer the one coined by Cheris Kramarae

“Feminism is the radical notion that women are human beings.”

Regardless of how you choose to define it, feminism has some roots in the idea that (most) men, even (most) well-intentioned men, don’t regard women with the same respect we do other men.

Thing is, as shitty as men historically have been and currently still are to women, we are pretty much just as shitty (if not shittier) to men.

As history continues to prove, men will regularly intimidate, embarrass, ridicule, mock, taunt, dominate, and even sexually humiliate other men if given the opportunity.

Think about this: Wherever you’re currently reading this, you’re at a place that was “founded” some time ago as a result of a group of men invading the land of a weaker group of men and subsequently murdering and colonizing them.

Even many “educated” and “domesticated” men still regularly do this in their own way. For instance, as ridiculous as that bacon story sounded, most men reading it probably laughed at first and then thought to themselves “You know what? I probably would have reacted the same way The Champ did.” 

Why? Well, although it may have seemed innocent, that guy reaching on my plate was his way of attempting to assert some dominance over me. His fat ass didn’t want any bacon, but he did want everyone to see him taking a slice of bacon off my plate — alpha male-ing me, in a sense.

I (over) reacted the way I did because, frankly, I wanted him to be scared. Not pissing in his pants scared, but “Hmm. This guy’s tone and body language suggests that there’s a possibility that he might actually get up and punch me in the face. It’s a slight chance, but still. Perhaps I should apologize to him.” scared.

Most people would probably consider bacon boy’s act a violation of some “man code” or some other unspoken kinship between men. While this is true, the creation of “man codes” aren’t really about any male kinship or spiritual brotherhoods or anything like that. We have these rules of decorum when dealing with each other because of fear of possible physical danger, and we treat each other with this tenuous respect because there’s always the possibility that we might get our ass kicked if we don’t.

Now, I’m (obviously) no feminist scholar, but it seems like the root cause behind man’s historically unjust treatment of women has something to do with the control and suppression of female sexuality and sexual freedom. It also seems like the only reason why (many) men are “nicer” to women than they are to other men is because they want sexual access to them, and getting women to agree to want to be with you is the socially acceptable way of gaining this access.

I don’t want to believe that the only things motivating us to be kind to each other are fear and sex, but history and any read of any newspaper continues to prove that this may be true. Am I completely off-base here, or are we (men) too f*cked up to evolve to a point where the majority of things the majority of men do are done, not because we can do them or can get away with doing them, but because they’re just the right and just things to do?

—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

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Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • MissShell

    As a woman attending a women’s college, basically always surrounded by women and feminist theory, I always did kinda think about this… and about why women (feminist women!) are still so quick to pull in all the benefits that the patriarchy bestows (read: chivalry and free drinks at the bar). But it’s interesting to read this post from a man’s perspective that the different treatment towards women comes from a lack of fear, which I guess also means a lack of respect? Crappy, but true.

    I don’t know where I’m going with this, cause it’s mad late, but it all reminds me of the plain and simple fact of feminism: the patriarchy, meaning the power structure of men over women, is bad for everyone.

    #thoughts

    • DQ

      “But it’s interesting to read this post from a man’s perspective that the different treatment towards women comes from a lack of fear, which I guess also means a lack of respect? Crappy, but true.”

      Interesting… thought, though I think it matters from what context you view the lack of fear and/or respect. In short, intellectually I think men are capable of respecting women, but we don’t just exist in an intellectual continuum. We live in a physical realm where physical force, literally and figuratively, moves things and makes things happen. And in this realm I don’t think we have much fear or respect for women at all.

      • Justmetheguy

        ^ Yep, what he said. My big brother strikes again (e-brother at least). Great point though, that’s why I didn’t get it before, I felt like most of us respected them, but yeah I guess it’s just intellectually that we respect them, certainly not physically. Physically we admire and desire them though…so it’s somewhat of a trade off it would seem…

        • Kema

          Yes it is a bit of a tradeoff because although you may not respect us physically even the mightiest warrior can be taken down by a woman because of the physical admiration and desire.

          Samson & Delilah… Mike Tyson & Robin Givens… lol!

          • Justmetheguy

            ^ LMFAO! She brought up Tyson and Givens though?! F*ckin hilarious! I thought she would’ve went with Cleopatra and Caesar lol

            • Kema

              Thought of Tyson because of Jay’s comment about Tyson and Respect.

              *waves* Hey sweetie!

              • aliciaclassof2012

                shout out to women’s colleges!!

              • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

                Nice. What up Kema.

                • Kema

                  Hey Jay!

      • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

        I am widely feared by men. Not so much by women. Men fear women’s command of the spiritual, emotional and supernatural realm, where we naturally dominate.

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          ” Men fear women’s command of the spiritual, emotional and supernatural realm, where we naturally dominate.”

          That must be why men look scared shytless if I tell them about a dream I had about them or someone related to them and it turns true to the specific details, including conversations in the dream.

          • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

            Mmhmm, I started reading tarot for fun when I was in college. Men would be sooooo scared to get their cards read. They were card of the woman intuition to see inside.

            • A Woman’s Eyes

              And if you were able to accurate read their palms, including finger shape, nailbed shape too, they’d have been petrified.

            • Justmetheguy

              ^ Not gone lie, I didn’t believe in that stuff at ALL but a recent encounter with a tarot reader last month didn’t so much scare me as it opened my eyes to possibilities I had imagined before but thought were science fiction…I don’t get scared by the unknown and uncontrollable though so it just intrigued and shocked me, no fear involved, but it freaked the chick involved out. Again the universe is much more complex than most of us can imagine. Doesn’t surprise me all that much

            • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

              Tarot (and all the other esoteric arts) are about reading people, specifically body language. Women tend to be better at the social stuff, so they’re naturals at it. However, it can’t be taught.

              That is all. :)

              • A Woman’s Eyes

                Aint nobody can read body language on the phone. LOL I had this woman read my cards on the phone. She ain’t see me.

                • Medium Meech

                  I could. I’m good like that.

          • Royale W. Cheese

            Same happens with me sometimes. I dream about what’s happening to someone as it is happening. The most recent case was when I dreamed about a potential suitor getting arrested because the police suspected that he had weed or paraphernalia on him. The next day, he called to tell me what happened to him that night. I almost dropped the d@mn phone. And no, this wasn’t some general dream about the unfairness of police profiling…it was this dude’s face, those specific events, down to the last detail.

            Maybe he lost interest because he was afraid that I might see what else he was up to, or that I might misinterpret an inaccurate dream or something.

            Some things occur in this universe that aren’t quite explainable yet. Apparently when I am relaxed/ dreaming I can “see” across space or something. I don’t take it as proof of some magical higher power, I just know that these things have happened to me.

        • Narner

          Phrase I heard some where went. “Men weapons to to fight. Women use men as weapons.” What is in the news paper is not always all the news. So it is true that men usually do most of the dangerous work, including war, It is always motivated by a mans need to protect and provide for a woman or desire to have a woman.
          Take a stone aged village. Like many mammals humans are territorial. there is a good reason for that. our territory provided us with food and safety. So the economics of one tribes area goes to pot. Say from a natural disaster. Then the a man will see that where he is living now is no longer a good place for his family to live. He seeks out opportunity and a better life for them. but wait. All the good places to move too are already taken up. So in order for this stone aged tribe to survive they will need permission to move their from the resident tribe.

          Well. That would mean for the resident tribe that the men there would not have as much bounty for their wives and children. So they say noi. This leaves the migrating tribe no option but to fight. The sole reason is to provide for and protect their women and children. It also doesn’t hurt that women respect and are attracted to men in power.

          Fast forward to today’s economy. Oil is the thing that is fought for. It is icky disgusting smelly poisonous and dangerous. Why would men risk their lives finding it and fight wars over it? Well because of the benifits and bounty oil gives to ones family and community. In other words for the benifit of the women and children. But also because men with million dollar cars attract a lot of women. Sad to say but it is true.

      • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

        I agree with DQ, though I know plenty of men who don’t respect women intellectually…now that I think about it, it might just be fear, not a lack of respect.

    • Royale W. Cheese

      “why women (feminist women!) are still so quick to pull in all the benefits that the patriarchy bestows (read: chivalry and free drinks at the bar).”

      Because protesting something pleasant feels awkward and stupid.

      • Kema

        “Sir close that door! I can open it myself.”

        • Royale W. Cheese

          LMAO. Exactly!

      • MJoy

        @RWC

        word.

    • http://mrweethomas.wordpress.com weethomas

      Kinda like how African American’s are so quick to stay in the American and not get shipped back to Africa right?

      Just because something may have been a part of a patriarchy doesn’t mean it’s continued existence today is wrong or taking advantage of it contradicts a search for equality.

  • That Ugly Kid

    Yep. Men are pretty f*cked up. We treat each other like sh*t. However, I think this is balanced that men who have formed some sort of close bond, have a VERY strong bond. We’ll punch each other’s teeth out one moment, and the next moment we’re getting drunk and laughing about it. So yes, while men are inherently mean, even violent towards other men, we’ve managed to somehow balance the animosity we feel towards a stranger with the strong companionship.

    Oh and when you talk about Feminists, you’re not talking about the bad kind right? Or pseudo-feminists as I call them. You know, the ones that bashes and hates men, fight for superiority but disguise it as equality, and will throw the word “sexist” at you more often than pedophiles throw candy at small children. I’m assuming you’re talking about actual, real feminists.

    • Just Me

      lol “real feminists”… that’s a real life distinction that must be made. cuz pseudo-feminists really and truly suck. effin up the game for all of us!

      -a true feminist.

    • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

      Wait wait wait. Hold up. I can’t just sit here and listen to all of this “Men are f*cked up talk”. HUMAN BEINGS are f*cked up. Men are more violent than women and because we are stronger our violence has more dire consequences but I grew up around all women and I have seen NO SHORTAGE of pissing contests, distrust, disdain, outright hate, and even violence between women.

      Champ argues that men may be more respectful of men than women because we know the consequences with a man. Well its the same with women. Women are more respectful of men because they know how heavy the consequences could be. And I don’t mean “respect” like the gracious, admirable kind of respect that you earn. I mean superficial respect as in I’m not going to piss you off too bad lest harm befall me type of respect. Like the respect that Mike Tyson must have received from EVERY human being on the planet EVERYWHERE he went in the 80’s. Lets face it folks, as civilized as society is, we still live in a physical world and we still have to protect ourselves physically. So more caution is going to be shown with more dangerous people. And physically men are more dangerous. I think thats all there is to it. In the case that Champ was talking about I don’t think that its sexism.

      • That Ugly Kid

        Of course human beings are f*cked up. That’s a given. My point is that men, by nature, are territorial, more violent, and more driven by pride than our female counterparts. This ultimately makes us treat strangers worse than a female would. I’m NOT saying women don’t have the same qualities men have, I’m saying men have it in stronger doses. We don’t like other men in our space. And I agree with Champ that men treat women with more respect than they treat other men because of our strong natural inclination to f*ck up any other man that encroaches our territory, messes with our pride, or scuff our Jordans.

      • Meisarebel

        I endorse this. In fact, I think in quite a few ways, women are even more distrustful of strangers than men are. Think about it…

        Even in Champ’s example, he readily admits that in the end they both shook hands, despite the pissing contest. I ask, would two women, unknown to each other, 1. Even do such a thing as steal bacon and 2. If bacon was stolen, get over it so quickly? I’m not sure. I think women will quicker OFFER to another woman once some immediate connection was made (i.e. strange girl is good friend of mutual friend) but in Champ’s situation? Shrug.

        Regardless, both men and women are f*cked up. And yes, I’m generalizing.

        • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

          I completely agree with Meisarebel. I believe that women as a whole are more considerate. But I can not EVER see another woman snatching another piece of bacon from another woman’s plate and IT not going down… at least not a black woman, but thats another post.

          • j.ivy

            @jay, that might be another post, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t supply an anecdotal story to support your suggestion.

            many years ago, in a distant land known as the office break-room, everyone had gathered to build camaraderie and brag about culinary skills at the annual pitch-in. Being a germaphobe to some extent, I wanted to be among the very first there so that I could acquire selected items that had been prepared by other trusted members of the sisterhood, prior to all the others arriving and leaning over the dishes breathing, shedding hair, skin cells and whatever else and fondling the delicacies. I was successful and I sat with my plate as I watched the procession of unsavory persons from throughout the company down the smorgasbord of dishes, with all of the aforementioned incidents occurring.

            Just then, one of my melanin deficient straight haired counterparts plops down to join me and helps herself to an item on my plate. . . . . . . . . .
            (insert angry emoticon created by combining various punctuation symbols here____________!!!)

            Another member of the sisterhood who was sitting with us instantly restrained me with a powerful and intense stare that spoke to me, saying, “while what just happened is indisputable grounds for smoke in the city, you cannot unleash such fury on this unassuming 2520, right here on the plantation.”

            Her stare was correct. So, I quieted the voice within encouraging me to dot her eyes and cross her teeths and simply informed her of my germaphobia and that I would prefer that she never do that again as my food game is pretty serious and I’d hate for her to lose an appendage or limb. But I tell you what, this event killed any potential working friendship that had begun to develop or any future potential.However, I do question the innocence behind this swiper-iffic huzzy performing such a heinous act. She knew what she was doing. I really do believe that “Becky” gets away with quite a bit under the presumption of her ignorance. They also use this when it comes to dating your ex, and stealing husbands. “I didn’t think you liked him any more” or “it just happened, they were already unhappy” yadda yadda yadda, diverting culpability.

            In summation, black women definitely have a code when it comes to other women.
            While often times we can do much more to provoke fear with a look than words or fists, the effects are far more penetrating as well. (any man with a momma, or who has dated a woman can attest to this) Once the alpha female has asserted her position, it is really best for the challenger to just avoid being in her presence as she will never be fully accepted or trusted by the alpha female. ain’t gone be no dappin’ up, laughing over drinks. I could provide additional anecdotal proof of this aspect of the phenomena but I’ve already said to much.

      • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

        “HUMAN BEINGS are f*cked up.”

        Jay’s on point! I hate men, but I know it’s not just a guy thing to be f*cked up. It seems to be a people thing now.

    • That Ugly Kid

      “Am I completely off-base here, or are we (men) too f*cked up to evolve to a point where the majority of things we do are done, not because we can do them or can get away with doing them or do them out of fear, but because they’re just the right and just things to do?”

      I don’t know about you, but I do nice things for one of two reasons. One, if it benefits me in some way. The rewards don’t have to be immediate. Two, because I genuinely want to help out my fellow man. When I see a young dude standing by the gas station asking for change to catch the bus, I give it to them. Not because I’m a saint (I’m not), not because I’m richer than Bill Gates (lol, sure), but because I feel like if I were in that situation, I would want someone to help ME out.

    • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

      @ TUK

      The pseudo feminists, have really given us a bad name!!! I love men. But just don’t disrespect the essence of my being.

      • http://challyshares.tumblr.com/ Nei Jae

        +10

      • http://www.becauseimwrite.com Muze

        i’m glad this distinction has been made. i was sooo into feminism when i was younger until i realized that many of the feminists i knew absolutely hated men. especially black men. and i love men. …especially black men. lol. there was a conflict of interest. i think it’s entirely possible to want to empower women and gain gender equality without completely bashing men. i’d be the only one bringing a different perspective to our conversations. eventually i just had to disassociate myself. i suppose they were pseudo-feminists.

        • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

          “i think it’s entirely possible to want to empower women and gain gender equality without completely bashing men.”

          RIGHT. In fact, I think it’s the only real way. It’s why I never support any type of empowerment that is SOLELY defined by downgrading the group they oppose. If your only sense of empowerment is to step on the face of the oppressor in order to get to a higher level, then that ain’t really empowerment.

          It’s why I pshaw the hell outta the “If Black Power is okay, why can’t the KKK also be okay?” argument. Black power is about empowering our own peoples… the KKK is about empowering their peoples AT THE EXPENSE of other peoples.

          • j.ivy

            @Cheekie-

            yes.

            Feminism is the recognition of the oppression of women and the drive to end it. Not to oppress men. It doesn’t mean that I can’t enjoy a man opening doors for me, or that I need men to believe that we are the same…we are NOT the same, but difference does not infer superiority/inferiority. In turn, feminism ask that we shift our social concept away from assigning value to difference.

            Also, I absolutely love men, and Black men in particular, but if we must assign values to each sex, women, hands down, are, and excluding recent history have been the more valued sex. with condition and training women do have the potential to do everything that men do, but I don’t know a man who could tolerate cramps and bleeding for a week out of each month, let along carry and deliver a 6-12# parasite, I mean baby. But why place values? Let’s just learn to appreciate our differences. Keep sharing your bacon and opening doors!! ;)

            • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

              I love the mess outta this comment. Well said.

              • j.ivy

                Thanks Cheekie. means a lot from you. ;)

                • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

                  *beaming and blushing*

        • http://moacn.wordpress.com Sir Farouk

          I agree with you, hating men and fighting for equal rights should and cannot be the same thing. That said, I actually know a few real feminist ladies that I dig because of their take charge attitude, serene nature and support of women’s rights on bigger issues like choice, domestic abuse and things that in my opinion matter more than nitpicking my every statement for signs of chauvinism. These real feminists as my friends when I hang out with them are like on of my boys. A real feminist understands that not every man is trying to be chauvinistic.

      • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

        I hate men, but I will put that to the side and respect them anyway if they respect me. I don’t have to like you as a person, I just have to respect that you are one.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “I hate men”

          even the champ?

          • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

            Yes, even YOU! lol

            My hatred went down a lot of notches after reading some of the male responses today :)

    • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

      “Oh and when you talk about Feminists, you’re not talking about the bad kind right? Or pseudo-feminists as I call them. You know, the ones that bashes and hates men, fight for superiority but disguise it as equality, and will throw the word “sexist” at you more often than pedophiles throw candy at small children. ”

      I have a name for these types that describe them accurately- I tend to refer to them as “instigators”.

      • Justmetheguy

        ^ Exactly. Instigators. I like that one. It’s very fitting. I didn’t have a name for em before. Good looks wit that one

        • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

          I’m saying though- a real feminist wouldn’t do stuff like that. A feminist just wants equal treatment in society, in politics and in the workplace- I can rock with that.

          But them other ones? The pseudo-feminists (or their previous name, the radical feminists) are a bunch of women with misdirected hostility.

          • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

            I guess I’m a feminist, then. And not a pseudo one. I want equal rights…even though I see ya’ll as the enemy LOL. But that’s just my bitterness and inability to get a man talking. It doesn’t affect my love of justice and egalitarianism.

            • j.ivy

              @Asiyah, wooo sah. Bitterness and hate makes you age, and turn ugly, which will increase the unliklihood of you ever getting a man. let it go honey.

              • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

                It hasn’t gone that way (yet). I am 27 and look 22 lol. :P

          • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

            A feminist just wants equal treatment in society, in politics and in the workplace-

            That is ALL I ask for!

    • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

      “We’ll punch each other’s teeth out one moment, and the next moment we’re getting drunk and laughing about it. ”

      Can you explain this to me, TUK? How can you guys do this? Maybe I’m evil, maybe I’m spiteful, maybe I have great memory (scratch those maybe’s, I know I’m those things) but I just can’t be friends with someone I had such an experience with. I’m not judging men, I’m trying to understand them in hopes that I can learn from them (should the reason be logical and healthy, of course).

      • Dash of The Newport Dashers

        It is a strange quirk of being a man. All of my childhood best friends tasted three left hook to the body-followed by a right upper-cut combo before we became friends. All of my closest friends after that have at least had me threaten their life at one point. You gain respect for a man who responds to a conflict with magnanimity.

        • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

          But when I want to do that, all of a sudden I have “anger issues” and need therapy. These double standards, I tell ya!

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            My sister’s best friend of 22 years and her have gotten into a fist fight (yearsss ago as children). I think that’s why they are close & trust each other.

            Most women are not comfortable confronting a friend when a problem arises. We let things simmer. We hold grudges. We are not forgiving.

            • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

              That’s me. Grudge Queen! And it’s only hurt myself. I totally get it.

        • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

          uh oh! and who are you monsieur?!

          you are a dash of the newport dashers……sounds like a country club in some pristine heavenly estate….very sophisticated….*hello there*

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        Men have happier lives if they can trust the men around them to some degree & continue to enjoy their company.

        Women will just end the friendship and get new friends.

    • http://mrweethomas.wordpress.com weethomas

      You know what he was talking about. But thanks for telling us how you feel.

  • Iceprincess

    He called dude “bacon boy” lmfao bwahaahaaaa!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      at least it sounds better than sausage boy

      • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

        LULZ!!!!

  • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

    If you see this message, please re-read the post. I hit publish before I was completely done, and I made a couple edits.

    Good night and shit

    • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

      ooooh so you can say shiiiiid, but I can’t?! That is why I am a FEMINIST! You be slaving up my comments….because of unjust causes.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        oh well

  • http://zekjevets.blogspot.com Zek J Evets

    Word and co-sign.

    I DEFINITELY would react the same way to anyone trying to grab food from my plate, especially when I’m drunk. However, if it was a woman I wouldn’t be violent or aggressive — I’d be resentful and secretly calling her all kinds of dirty ish in my head. Probably because I’d feel she used her female privilege (yes, there is such a thing as female privilege — look it up) in order to avoid the normal consequences that come with snatching food for a hungry man’s plate. True, this does mean I don’t hold her to the same standard I would a man, but would she want me to? I feel most women would be offended if I smacked their hand which was reaching for my kosher turkey bacon and puffed my chest asking her to BTFU.

    Meanwhile, I feel bad that I’d so willingly cut a dude over some meat, but there it is. When you’re hungry — or thirsty — we all do some silly things. Though I doubt I’d REALLY get into a fight. Shoot, I haven’t gotten into a fight since 10th grade P.E. class! But I the threat of violence is enough for most dudes to recognize the situation is just not worth all that potential aggravation. Plus, for some reason even so-called enlightened men respect other men who don’t back down from confrontation. Happened with my neighbor when I refused to move my car from the parking spot I used which he claimed was his absent any nameplate or registration number. Now the dude gives me the nod everyday! Go figure.

    Anyhoo, what was my point? Oh yeah, don’t take food from other people’s plates whether your a man OR a woman.

    • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

      I believe in caring is sharing. If we are dating, I’m that chick who will help you clean your plate, whether invited or not.

      • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

        You know…that could lead to a confrontation at a place like IHOP- I’m just saying…

        • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

          IHOP is one of the happiest places on Earth and there should be no fighting there!

          • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

            There should be no fighting- but then there’s that one person who takes it upon themselves to grab one of the Strawberry Banana pancakes…and that’s when all hell breaks loose, LOL!

            • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

              Who does that? I’m so courteous when I go to IHOP. People are sick!

          • http://moacn.wordpress.com Sir Farouk

            I agree IHOP is a happy place, one of the things I miss when I travel to the motherland. I love having breakfast at anytime of the day. lol

            IHOP = Shangri-la

            • http://zekjevets.blogspot.com Zek J. Evets

              Don’t anybody know about Norm’s Diner in VSB-land? =/

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        this is one of my biggest pet peeves.get out of my damn plate.

        • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

          @ jammy jams,

          oh mi gosh!!! you are peeving out of you being kind?! You are not A-OKAY!

        • MJoy

          Every guy says this is his biggest pet peeve until he falls in love with you.

          • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

            YES!

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            don’t believe that. i’ve hated it when women i swore i loved did it. its just annoying as hell. y’all think its your right to eat off my plate.

            • MJoy

              Then they clearly weren’t the right one for you. lol. When you find her she’ll be all in your plate and you in hers! Or… not. What the hell do I know. Just talkin ish.

            • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

              see jammy jams, this is where the problem is, you did not love her enough!!! When it’s that deep soul stirring, making you wanna get married for a minute type of love, you’ll let her eat to her heart’s content.

    • Kema

      Yes, I am very fond of female privilege and would definitely take something from a man’s plate knowing he wont do anything but maybe look annoyed. Humph! He should have offered anyway is what I would be thinking. lol!

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        ^it seems like 143 percent of women i’ve encountered in life feel this way.

      • Justmetheguy

        Lol @ Kema- Understood. However when you leave that takeout in the fridge for more than 12 hours (8 if I’m really hungry) then it’s fair game and I’m gone be the cleanup man lol

        • Kema

          Man, I have two pre-teen boys… I know once something is put in the fridge it is considered available.

          • Breezy

            I just the takeout is understandable but my brother would do some un-excuseable crap like drink the last mouth full of your 7-Up!!! Like who in the sam hell does that?!!

      • http://moacn.wordpress.com Sir Farouk

        Its funny how taking food from a man’s plate seems to be constant over generations, when I was a kid my momma would take a taste of my food and i ll give her the stank face, now i m grown up ladies do it and I smile. lol The circle of life! Mufasa!

        • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

          I’ll be your Mufasareeeeess! Oh shiiiiiid. I can’t that’s incest between me and you. Ignore.

          • Justmetheguy

            lol, how’s it incest though? You should’ve said “Serabi” not Mufaseress or whatever the sam hell u said

            • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

              @jmtg

              It’s incest because he is my brother.

      • imaninia

        whoa, i MUST be like a man when it comes to my food. I don’t go in anyone’s plate unless they offered (and not just cuz they’re trying to be nice. i know the difference) because if ANYONE reaches into my plate without asking, there’s about to be a wholeeeeeee lot of consequences and repercussions. Don’t touch my food.

  • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

    Very thought provoking post. I seriously wonder how the world would be if it were ran by women or how a society of only women would run. Here come the jokes about everlasting utopia or World Wars during that time of the month, but all cliches aside how different would the world actually be?? Would they fall into the same patterns, stronger women dominating the weaker ones?? I know that a lot of women would argue NO. But I believe that nothing would change. To argue that women are different (read: better) is counterintuitive to the “notion that women are human beings”. Human beings are animals, even with all our so called consciousness and enlightenment and all animals have patterns of establishing dominance.

    • DQ

      I agree it would be just as bad, in net sum. Do I think they’d do everything the same as men would? No. I think they’d do their best to make the world better (hey let me introduce you ugys, “road to hell”, meet “good intentions”) They’d certainly emphasize different initiatives, the law of unintended consequences would come into play (as it almost certainly has under the regime of men), and the world would continue to be as effed up as when men ran it.

      • Aly

        I think you’re on to something here. For the heck of it (and because I’m a VSS), I Googled “societies dominated by women” and came across an article on the Iroquois Indians, which was primarily a matriarchal society. Although they did have wars, what I found interesting is that they worked to incorporate conquered people into their own society. They adopted the children and educated them, something that doesn’t tend to happen in patriarchal societies. Why? I think it goes back to theory of dominance and fear in societies run by men.

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iroquois#Women_in_society

        • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

          Interesting that you brought that up, because that structure seems to be an East-Coast Native American trail, for lack of a better phrase. The Lenni Lenape (aka the original inhabitants of what’s now the NYC Tri-State and Delaware Valley areas), the Mohegans and the Pequots were on the same steez. I’m curious how that worked out that they went left of a lot of different groups.

      • Justmetheguy

        ^ DQ is right. Especially about the law on unintended consequences. I won’t go into detail but that’s the biggest problem with people in general, but ESPECIALLY the fairer sex. It comes from the whole de-emphasis on…I won’t use the l-word, but…ummm…pragmatism. Yeah that’s it! lol

        Masculine energies would still rule, because they are by nature more direct and assertive. Also, in general this type of personality can usually become a nuisance if not placed in positions of power/responsibility. Masculine energies don’t have to come from men btw

    • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

      “Would they fall into the same patterns, stronger women dominating the weaker ones?? I know that a lot of women would argue NO.”

      I argue yes. That’s exactly how it would be.

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        I agree with you.

        • Justmetheguy

          +2 It’s energy not gender

  • Iceprincess

    Thats the weird thing about feminism. Wouldnt a true feminst WANT you not to give her a pass for snatching the bacon? Wouldnt she want you to go off on her the same as if she were male? You know, equality & sh*t. *kanye shrug*

    • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

      Great question.

    • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

      @ Iceprincess,

      We do not fight over nonsense. We fight over social ills against women, not bacon!

      • MJoy

        Exactly. Why fight over an opened door, a pulled out chair, or bacon?

    • That Ugly Kid

      Actually yes. That’s what equality means. No party having an advantage over the other. However, the reason why people tend to dislike feminists so much, is because they want all of the positives of being men, but none of the negatives. Because they know that means all special treatment ends there. Opening doors, pulling out chairs, always having the benefit of a doubt in domestic abuse cases, being allowed to strike a man without consequence (usually), etc, all that sh*t gets deaded.

      Basically, they want to get treated equally as far as pay, jobs, and rights/opportunities, but they still want to keep that gender card tucked in their back pocket so that they can take advantage of things like this:

      http://www.eatliver.com/i.php?n=8724

      • DQ

        I don’t dislike feminists, I dislike extremist. Advocating equal pay for equal work is a cause I can get behind, I have no qualms with that fight. And while I know, people tend to categorize any group by it’s worst members (see yesterday’s comments and every other discussion ever had in human history for reference), I think most of what feminism talks about is cool, and if I one day have daughters I’d want her to benefit from it’s ideas. I could just do without the women who actually hate men, who pretend that their vitriol is really just zeal for feminism. They may believe in some feminist ideas but they’re not really feminists (to let me tell it)

        • That Ugly Kid

          I agree, which is why I made the distinction upthread between “real” feminists, who I can get behind, and the pseudo-feminists, which is what my comment described. I can get behind gender equality if it’s, you know, actual equality. Not the, I get the same rights/privelages as you but I still deserve special treatment, equality.

          • Kema

            I would consider myself a feminist.

            I want to be treated equally. I believe I should have the right to vote. When I work I want to make the same as a man doing the same work. I want my voice to be heard and respected in the work place.

            However, I expect different things in a relationship or from a man pursuing me romantically. I still want to be respected. However, I would think its nice for him to open doors. I’m not asking guys at work to open doors. I would appreciate chivalrous actions. Again I dont expect this at work. In return I am open to cooking his favorite meal (if chicken he gets the biggest piece), bringing him his plate and other domestic gestures. Guys at work better not expect this!

        • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

          Feminism?? Weeeee don’t need no stinkin feminism!

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        “However, the reason why people tend to dislike feminists so much, is because they want all of the positives of being men, but none of the negatives. Because they know that means all special treatment ends there. Opening doors, pulling out chairs, always having the benefit of a doubt in domestic abuse cases, being allowed to strike a man without consequence (usually), etc, all that sh*t gets deaded.”

        A woman wanting equal rights does not mean she wants to be a man any more than a Black person wanting equal rights wants to be White.

        And it isn’t a problem to be treated like a woman or lady if you will, having doors and chairs held is fine as long as that treatment isn’t just a way to subjugate women by equating acceptance of a chivalrous effort as acknowledgment of weakness.

        Also, how is it that women get the benefit of the doubt in domestic violence cases? If the male partner has visible woulds then the woman is going to be arrested. Women may have gotten the benefit of the doubt 30 years ago but not today.

        • That Ugly Kid

          “And it isn’t a problem to be treated like a woman or lady if you will,”

          Except, it is when you’re fighting to be treating EQUALLY regardless of gender. That no group should be treated differently or more special than the other because of gender. You can give it whatever name you want. Chivalry, treating her like a lady, good manners, etc it doesn’t matter. The simple fact is, you’re giving someone special treatment solely based on gender. Which contradicts the term “gender equality.”

          “Also, how is it that women get the benefit of the doubt in domestic violence cases? If the male partner has visible woulds then the woman is going to be arrested.”

          You’d think so, but no.

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

            “Except, it is when you’re fighting to be treating EQUALLY regardless of gender. That no group should be treated differently or more special than the other because of gender. You can give it whatever name you want. Chivalry, treating her like a lady, good manners, etc it doesn’t matter. The simple fact is, you’re giving someone special treatment solely based on gender. Which contradicts the term “gender equality.””

            I’m African American and I want and demand equal rights but that doesn’t mean that I am willing to ignore my Blackness. And as a woman I want equal rights but I am also not willing to ignore my womanhood.

            When I’m being considered for a promotion I want equality but if I’m out to dinner I may want my chair held or a door held. Being equal and being a woman who is treated like a lady are not mutually exclusive.

            • That Ugly Kid

              You keep trying to compare race equality with gender equality. They aren’t comparable. Black people didn’t have any special treatment or before racial equality came along. Women do.

              Seriously, think about the hypocrisy of what you’re saying. What you’re saying is, I want to be equals only when it benefits me, but when “being treated like a lady” comes into play, feel free to treat me as if I’m not equal, because at that precise moment, it benefits me. Don’t try to pick and choose when to be equal. Either you are, or you’re not. What you’re saying is that because you’re a woman you DESERVE to be treated a certain way, hence the “treat me like a lady” attitude. But when a man does the same, all of a sudden it’s “Nuh uh, we’re equals d*mmit!”

              Bottom line, you can’t have both. Because being able to be equal when it benefits you, yet still retain your “treat me nicer than you would normally treat any other human because I happen to have XX chromosomes” card is not equality. It’s superiority.

              • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                You must be a Republican since simple logic can’t seem to penetrate your ideology with regard to this subject. My point is; your definition of women’s equality is not the standard. Equality does not mean that I become a man or I should be treated as a man. It simply means that I have the same rights as a man. Same job, same pay, etc.

                What you are saying is that if a woman wants to have rights equal to men then she can’t be a woman, she must be some sort of man, and treated as such. That’s an odd way to view equality.

                • That Ugly Kid

                  “You must be a Republican since simple logic can’t seem to penetrate your ideology with regard to this subject.”

                  First and foremost, don’t insult me. I haven’t done so to you. I won’t tell you a second time.

                  Secondly, I’m not saying a woman needs to give up her identity by being treated equal as a man on all fronts. Though I find it sad that you define a woman by her special treatments she receives. As if somehow no longer pulling out chairs means she is no longer a woman. A woman doesn’t need to be some sort of man to be treated equal. Treating a woman as equals means treating her like, *gasp* a HUMAN. Not a gender. That’s what you can’t seem to grasp.

                  There’s a difference between fighting for equal rights, and gender equality. I’m talking about gender equality and have been the entire time, you seem to have mixed the two.

                  • A Woman’s Eyes

                    Yet men practice common courtesy with other men in public all the time. I think that alone is why it makes sense for women to expect to be treated with common courtesy by men, as well. After all, they’re capable of practicing social behaviors that show manners, and serve to avoid conflict.

                    Unless a man is resentful that no one holds the door open for him and pulls out his chair too.

                    If a man believes that men are fundamentally disrespectful to other men, then it would explain his belief that women should be treated the same exact way.

                    Do men really want the same polite behavior that women get? Really?

                    BTW I do not think women would go grabbing bacon off any stranger’s plate, male or female. We’d only do it with our girls, maybe. Or male relatives, or male friends. Because we think that strangers have cooties.

                    • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

                      “Yet men practice common courtesy with other men in public all the time. I think that alone is why it makes sense for women to expect to be treated with common courtesy by men, as well.”

                      THANK YOU. I’ll never understand why showing that you have manners means that the person you showed common courtesy to is deemed unequal or inferior by default. Well, actually, this is only attributed to when men do it for women. Interesting.

                  • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                    First, saying you must be a Republican because logic can’t seem to penetrate your ideology is not an insult it’s an illustration of my point.

                    “I won’t tell you a second time.”

                    Second, are you threatening me? I’ll say what the hell I want to say.

        • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

          Being a part of a support group that tangentially deals with domestic violence from time to time, the whole women being arrested at the same rate of men is BS. Female perps of domestic violence, gay and straight, get arrested much more slowly. While a dude is likely to get arrested that first call to police, it usually takes a few calls on the record for the woman to get arrested. And yes, I’m talking actually visible injuries here.

          • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

            This is correct. Talk to any man who’s ever been to counseling because of domestic violence and his wife will always be the one who asked if she is the one who feels safe with him around regardless of how many scars he may have.

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            Keep a written record and a medical record by going to the ER every time. That way you have evidence should you have to take further action than 911.

          • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

            “the whole women being arrested at the same rate of men is BS. ”

            Just because men are physically stronger doesn’t mean women are entitled to injure them. Stand up for yourselves, men! Don’t hit her back…report her!

      • http://kareemking.com Kareem

        TUK. I get and agree with what you’re trying to say. What I’ve basically learned is equal opportunities do not have to equal results. This fallacy is the basis behind a lot of ‘radical feminists’ arguments. I’ll use the computer programming industry as an example. I had a recent debate about there should be more women programmers. Why? If women were interested in that profession, you’d see more women. It’s not a matter of discrimination. You wouldn’t be able to tell that to some people though. Same thing with the “wage gap”. There are various factors that go into men statistically making more money in some jobs. It is more related to choice rather than some type of systematic discrimination.

        On a side note, I’m just saying, we’re all expected to end up spending all our money on the ladies anyway. Am I right?

        • Meisarebel

          “On a side note, I’m just saying, we’re all expected to end up spending all our money on the ladies anyway. Am I right?”

          This right here.

        • Justmetheguy

          ” On a side note, I’m just saying, we’re all expected to end up spending all our money on the ladies anyway. Am I right?”

          Hell yeah you right! What odd brand of “equality” is that? lol

      • Justmetheguy

        U handled that topic immaculately fellas. Great job. I feel the same way about feminism and womanism and I want to look into humanism. I think you brought up and articulated most reasonable and compassionate men’s feelings on the topic. I don’t want to be paid more than a woman for doing the same job. I also don’t want gender relations to be unfair, so in my everyday life I don’t treat women who behave like me as though they’re more wrong for it than I am. I’m fair to women but my interactions with them will naturally be more generous, loving, comfortable, and at times playful than my interactions with men. This is the less often talked about gender inequality. This is where there will never be equality even if women get the rights they’re seeking. Such is life though. I’m not complaining, just explaining. Women you have female privelege and you shouldn’t feel bad for it. It is what it is. Men, we have male privelege, but should we feel bad for ALL of it? #rhetoricalquestionstoponder

        • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

          Men, we have male privilege, but should we feel bad for ALL of it?

          so long as it is not affecting my breathing pattern, enjoy it but do NOT, and I reiterate do not bring your privileged azz around me.

          Oh by the way, we are back to being family!

          • Justmetheguy

            @ African Mami- But what if we’re both priveleged just in different ways? Can I still not bring my priveleged @ss around you? lol

            Ahh yes, family indeed. Going to his graduation in like two weeks. Please don’t betray me anymore though, or else Imma tell him you’re not to be trusted

            • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

              @ jmtg,

              Listen,
              I have a message for your brother, tell him that African Mami said CONGRATUFRIGGINLATIONS. Yes, we’ve not formally met, but his locks are enough. Secondly, if he is tall—————————–>tell him to holla! And I am very serious about this!!

              I am determined to date a man with locks before I die! There is nothing as seggggzy as that in a man!

              • MJoy

                awww, we’re going to be ACTUAL family in no time!!!

              • Justmetheguy

                @ Mami- I’ll tell him u said that. He used to read this blog. I don’t think he does anymore. He’s sorta tall I guess. 6 foot….he may be too light-skinned for you though. Think Waka Flocka’s color. I told u, people would believe he’s Waka’s brother before they’d believe he was my brother lol

                • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                  6 foot with DREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEADS!!!! That is HEAVEN!!!!!

                  I can compromise on the light skindendess!

                  “Almost heaven, West Virginia blue ridge mountains churning through a river”

                  See, he got me sanging over hurrr!! *fans sef*-

        • MJoy

          sometimes… like right now, I want to have lots and lots of sex with you that’s just full of equality.

          • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

            You are a MESS!!! I love it!

          • Justmetheguy

            Oh, I’m all about equality in the bedroom. You betta be careful tho girl. Don’t let ya mouth write a check y’ass can’t cash ;)

            • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

              WOOF WOOF-I FRIGGIN APPPPPPPPPPROVE DIS!!!

            • MJoy

              Man, I have so much money in this bank I can cash countless checks for you boo boo!

    • http://www.twitter.com/Think2Inspire Think2Inspire

      What is a true feminist?

    • NubianKween

      depends on the type of feminist. There are different form of feminism

    • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

      That’s what I thought- maybe it’s just me…

    • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

      “Thats the weird thing about feminism. Wouldnt a true feminst WANT you not to give her a pass for snatching the bacon?”

      That’s exactly what I was thinking LOL! I was like “huh? why should he let it slide when I take his bacon? nah son. fair is fair.” Unless we have a long-standing relationship or a short-standing one that is good, I wouldn’t take food from anybody’s plate, male or female. I gotta earn that right!

  • http://moacn.wordpress.com Sir Farouk

    I for one know I would react the same way you did to that dude. Relating this to feminist, which is something i really find hard to wrap my finger around (forgive my third world-ness), if the premise is equality of the genders does that mean we should give women or ladies the same treatment we give men and yes that includes the good as well as the bad. Someone enlighten me.

    On a primal level I think your assertion that we treat the sexes based on fear and sex might be true. It is nature’s way of ensuring pro-creation and the continuity of our species. We ward off potential competitors and woo potential mates in hopes of copulation and coitus. I have always wanted to use coitus in a sentence. Yay!

    On a secondary level, our different treatment of men and women are based on societal dictates and upbringing. I was brought up to be a gentleman for the most part so I am particularly nice to ladies and men unless I feel they have stepped some arbitrary line.

    • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

      @ Sir Farouk

      Forgive your third worldness?!
      Abeg, I am an African feminist, and we are legions in that joint.

      if the premise is equality of the genders does that mean we should give women or ladies the same treatment we give men and yes that includes the good as well as the bad.
      technically yes, morally, no.

      • Meisarebel

        “technically yes, morally, no.”

        And this is quite possibly the root of the entire argument on “feminism.” It’s a huge gray area that is clouded with “when to” and “how to” be equal.

      • Justmetheguy

        Sir Farouk, that’s exactly how I feel. The respect/lack of respect thing is either on or off.

        ” technically yes, morally no”

        WTF does that mean? It’s gotta be both or neither.

        • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

          @jmtg,

          we want to have our cake and eat it too.

          • Justmetheguy

            ^ As long as yall can see it and admit that. Also yall better know that THIS and this alone is the reason the reasonable of us menfolk aren’t wavin our flags for this cause. I just fight the equal judgment and treatment battle in all of the interactions I have with women daily, I be d*mned if I’m gonna spend my precious time trying to make women superior to me under the guise of some vague concept like “gender equality” that’s got almost as many different interpretations as the Bible. Women are crazy…crazy like a fox smh

            • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

              Yes, I do admit I am a crazy woman! Very, but in the most delightful and funnest way ever!!!! :)

          • http://moacn.wordpress.com Sir Farouk

            So you take joy from having us jumping from one foot to the other, hot coal on one side and liquid nitrogen on the other? lol Y’all are confusing, us menfolk are simple for the most part.

    • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

      On a secondary level, our different treatment of men and women are based on societal dictates and upbringing.

      The war of the sexes that is going on right now, I believe that it is ALL about deciding where the line between what Sir Farouk’s “primal” level and “secondary” levels. I believe that those of us who are well intentioned are trying to figure out when and where women are treated differently because of nature(i.e. physical/mental differences) and when and where women are treated differently because of societal norms, and dictates. We’re all also figuring out in which of those two boxes do the injustices lie.

      The danger in all of this is the possibility that maybe some things are good for women but bad for society(women included). Some may view this as a radical outlook but I believe that this is the case in some instances. I’m not saying that the answer is “F*ck women, we must protect the status quo”. What I’m saying is that if we are pushing for a society where EVERYTHING….EVERY. SINGLE. THING is equal between the sexes then we have to realize that there will be positives and negatives.

      • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

        “I believe that those of us who are well intentioned are trying to figure out when and where women are treated differently because of nature(i.e. physical/mental differences) and when and where women are treated differently because of societal norms, and dictates.”

        My man Jay! (And I mean “my man” as in “my brother.” I’m not taking anyone else’s man!). I totally agree with this!

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “The war of the sexes that is going on right now, I believe that it is ALL about deciding where the line between what Sir Farouk’s “primal” level and “secondary” levels. I believe that those of us who are well intentioned are trying to figure out when and where women are treated differently because of nature(i.e. physical/mental differences) and when and where women are treated differently because of societal norms, and dictates. ”

        good point

      • Justmetheguy

        ” The danger in all of this is the possibility that maybe some things are good for women but bad for society(women included). Some may view this as a radical outlook but I believe that this is the case in some instances. I’m not saying that the answer is “F*ck women, we must protect the status quo”. What I’m saying is that if we are pushing for a society where EVERYTHING….EVERY. SINGLE. THING is equal between the sexes then we have to realize that there will be positives and negatives.”

        If that was a track on a CD I’d have it on REPEAT for like an hour and then I’d go play it at a extremists feminist rally (because clearly they have rallies and manhating rituals where they sacrifice male babies and praise the Illuminati) lol

        Nah but fa real though Jay, you killed that one. Well stated

      • http://moacn.wordpress.com Sir Farouk

        As a well intentioned man, I agree with what you have said. we seem to be always trying to balance our primal instincts with societal norms in dealing with women.

      • Royale W. Cheese

        This is enlightening. Thanks, Jay.

  • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

    I have a SERIOUS question people. LISTEN UP!!

    Um… why is bacon so delicious?? Seriously why? #Iwantanswers

    • That Ugly Kid

      I hate it actually. Sh*t is terrible.

      • Yoles

        i’ve never eaten any pork product but just from the smell alone i don’t feel like i’m messing out… it smells so wrong while being cooked… yuck :(
        so via absentee ballot i hate bacon too

        • Kema

          Pescetarian here… I hate the smell of bacon too! But I also hate the smell of fried chicken.

          • Yoles

            Kema when i tell people that my fat a$$ doesn’t like fried chicken i swear the earth tilts off its access… lol maybe we don’t like the smell of meat frying… i don’t know

            • Yoles

              *axis

            • Geegers

              Same when I tell people I don’t like chocolate.

              • Kema

                Ok… now thats going too far lol!

                • Breezy

                  Okkk, it sure is. I just had an ENTIRE bag of Hershey’s Dark Chocolate Drops with lunch all by myself…alone…no one else (see: individual)

    • Sharbiedarbie

      I don’t get it…it comes from the most disgusting animal on earth. But it is addictive. I have up bacon and all pork for a year…I did it but bacon is what messed me up. Damn you pig!!

    • Cynthia

      lol! not turkey bacon….

      • DQ

        But no one would say (with a straight face) that turkey bacon is anything but an un-delicious knock off of real oink-ified bacon.

        • Iceprincess

          Usually i couldnt care less about pork. Porkchops, ham samwiches, i could take it or leave it. Exept bacon! Gotta have it. I love bacon bits on salads, baked potatoes, in green beans, you name it. No turkey bacon please, gotta be the swine. Yummy!

        • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

          I loves turkey bacon. Screw you ninja!

          • http://twitter.com/itztrizz617 Tristan

            #teamTurkeyBacon

            • demondog06

              turkey bacon is good especially if it’s dipped and saturated in pig grease…

              it’s really a shame that murdered pigs is so delicious seeing as though pigs are actually smarter than dogs. but if someone were to eat a dog i would advocate the death penalty for that person.

          • DQ

            You all with your Faking bacon… you aren’t fooling anyone… including your taste buds. Save the Turkey for Thanksgiving. Viva the oink. Viva the hog.

            • miss t-lee

              *thumbs up* Viva la oink.
              I don’t even eff with pork like that, but I still eat bacon.

          • CNotes

            So do I! : )

        • Mena

          Hush. I grew up on turkey bacon. Bacon is delicious and i could eat either pork or a turkey bacon BLT.

        • Cynthia

          I mean like, how do they even make turkey bacon….the words turkey and bacon doesn’t even belong in the same sentence. lol!

          Bacon is good, “not slap someone’s mama good” but close enough to it.

    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

      I haven’t had bacon in years but I remember and it is indeed a food I’d want to have if stranded on a deserted island.

    • http://www.twitter.com/Think2Inspire Think2Inspire

      I HATE pork! Can’t stand regulah bacon. But, let a ninja put a plate of turkey bacon in front of me and I will commence le Bankhead bounce.

      • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

        +1

      • Royale W. Cheese

        “I will commence le Bankhead bounce.”

        *iDied* :)

    • The Other Jerome

      Because it’s salty. And like regular potato chips, it sends the salt flavor receptor on our tongues to Nirvana.

      At least i think thats why .

      It could also be that we like living dangerously. And we all know consciously and subconsciously that bacon has got to be the WORST food for you.

      • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

        I think we have a winner.

    • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      It’s all about the glutamate and the fat. Glutamate stimulated the umami sense of taste, and fat makes all tastes stronger by sensitizing the taste buds.

      Though I prefer turkey bacon. My taste buds are naturally sensitive. :)

      • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

        TODD! TURKEY BACON LOVERS UNITE! I love it!

    • jojee

      i was a vegetarian for about 2.5 years…just the *smell* of bacon snaped me out of it one day. that last 0.5, i was a bacon-eating vegetarian. SMH

      • miss t-lee

        LMAO!!!!

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        was a vegetarian for about 2.5 years…just the *smell* of bacon snaped me out of it one day. that last 0.5, i was a bacon-eating vegetarian. SMH

        LOL

    • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

      It goes great with everything- and I do mean everything- at breakfast time. Yeen know?!

    • A Woman’s Eyes

      It is the sweetness combined with the saltness and a touch of the savory found in the type of heating method used. Applewood smoked bacon is delicious. I also think its the corn based food scraps fed to the pigs that flavors the meat.

    • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

      I cannot eat pork anymore, but the only pork I do miss is bacon. I replaced it with turkey bacon. yum yum. I don’t know why I find it delicious. It just is! But not something I’d eat everyday.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      this entire thread just proves that you can’t yell “bacon” in a crowded room full of Black people…

      • Royale W. Cheese

        I can go one better.

        Get ready.

        Bacon-wrapped shrimp!

        • Breezy

          *Pushes EVERYBODY OUTTA THE WAY*

          Where is it RWC?!?!?

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “I have a SERIOUS question people. LISTEN UP!!

      Um… why is bacon so delicious?? Seriously why? #Iwantanswers”

      i was just thinking the same thing

  • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

    Yo, I just came from fighting a feminist battle!!!! This Moroccan brother-urrrrgh, can’t stand him or his ilk, has been driving me crazy since Sunday. He has very outdated views about women, plus he was making empty threats that were driving up the wall, and needed to be addressed ASAP. So, I scheduled a meeting today and guess what, this brother had the AUDACITY to tell us that he was running the show! Ninja what?!

    He kept interjecting my homegirl while aired her grievances with him, and was downright rude and condescending. Guess what, Poquinqui and em came out. I went off! What?! I hate when SOME motherlovers from the motherland come over here, and think they are here to step on women. FUG outta here with that nonsense!!!! Swim the Atlantic back home. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid.

    *I LOVE African men, but not this one.

    Respect my womaness!

    For the love of bacon and all things pig, I do not know why feminism is reduced to nothingness-basically sex…URRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!

    • naturalista88

      I am well aware of the firey tone in this post, but iDied @ “Swim the Atlantic back home.” You ma’am slay me whenever you post *lol*

      • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

        girl, I swear there is nothing as aggravating as being talked to down by a man. I actually asked for guidance from Jah, when handling this situation, because it was bent to go left tonight!

      • MJoy

        This makes me think of: “trout-mouthed, salt water niggahs!”

        Just read this in a play referring to slaves from Africa… It was funny in the context.

    • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

      grammar and spelling nutsoooo’s, this is not a literature class, now adjourn your azzes.

      fembooooooooooooo!!! sup sweetie pie!!!!! :)

      Kema you berra hola @ me tomorrow. I need advice on how to get minez to poke out like yours.

      Goodniiiiitiiiiizes peeepppppppps. So excited about sleeping!!!

      • Kema

        Hey Mami!!! Get the Brazilian Butt lift videos. lol!

        • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

          Oh word?! K….

          Girl, let me tell you…I used to have an accident causing donk, it done disappeared and gone back to the motherland.

          When I grow up, I wanna have your donky donk donk donk!!! :)

          • Justmetheguy

            ^ I understand things didn’t work out with Jay but you just gon push up on my lady friend like that right in front of my face now? Wow, talk about some gender equality for that @ss! Smh lol

            • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

              @ jmtg,

              I ain’t pushing up on her! She is all yours for the taking. I just do not have a problem complimenting another woman, on her ASSets. In any case, she is my girl crush! vroom vroom.

              • MJoy

                She’s ALL YOURS femboo! Please take her far, far away!

                • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                  @ femboo,

                  LOL!!!

                • Kema

                  @MJoy LMFAO!

                • Justmetheguy

                  ^ HA! Hi MJoy. How are you? :)

                  • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                    awwwww jmtg!!!!

                    *tears of JOY* We have waited for this moment fooooooor sooooo long. FINALLY!!

                    fembooooooo, girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl come git yo man.

                    • MJoy

                      have you seen his past semi-confessions of almost love!?!?!?! Be still my heart.

                  • MJoy

                    I’m fiiiiiine *blushing and giggling* Had an amazing dream about you last night ;)

                    • Kema

                      @JMTG I just picked up our tickets to… Oh Mjoy… I didnt see you standing there

                    • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                      see, now Kema you are making this hard for me!!! You can’t be talking smack to my bestie, but then when I remember about your ASSetz, I’ll let it slide, just this one time tho!

                    • MJoy

                      this chick

    • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

      Is that you in your gravatar?

      • Yoles

        is that a spark of interest jay??!?!?!?!?!

        (vsb knows i’m nosy)

        • Justmetheguy

          @ Yoles- I have a feeling I know how it’s gon play out (I’m nosy too) but I’ll keep it to myself as I stay tuned like everybody else lol

          • MJoy

            I think they’ll end up best man and maid of honor at our wedding… and then have crazy post-reception chex!

            • Justmetheguy

              haha, perhaps…the VSB soap opera continues….

              • Kema

                the VSB soap opera continues…

                *jumps in front of Mjoy* Perhaps what?

                • MJoy

                  girl don’t start with me! I don’t fight over men. Don’t make me start now! I’ll go to the ends of the earth for that bald head!

                  • Breezy

                    Mjoy: um I think I should just remind you that Kema:
                    1. Runs
                    2. Ride a Motorcycle
                    3. Has thick thighs

                    I wouldn’t fight Kema….I would let her have JMTG.

                    • MJoy

                      chile please.

                    • Justmetheguy

                      LMAO! Breezy you’re such an instigator

          • nillalatte

            *takes JMTG by the hand and leads him to a private room* Let them fight over you in there and we’ll do what we gots to do in here. ;) Shhhh… now…

            • Justmetheguy

              Ohhhhh snap! Always liked your style ;)

    • That Ugly Kid

      I’ve been meaning to say this. But your avi is beautiful. Both the woman and the fact that red is my favorite color.

      • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

        thanks! Yap, red is my favorite color!!!!

      • MJoy

        agreed. so pretty.